The Olsen Twins Just Released the Most Lavish Holiday Gift Guide

After Gwyneth Paltrow made a decision to keep the picks in her annual goop gift guide “as much as possible around the $100 mark,” we were left with a lot less to gawk at than usual (and that $4,000 gold juicer got old real fast). But never fear: The Olsen twins are picking up where Gwyn left off with their own list of holiday must-haves, and so far, it’s the most lavish celebrity gift guide of the season.

Mary-Kate and Ashley kept their wish list short, sweet and super exclusive, curating a selection of five luxury items especially for clients of their fashion brand The Row that are only available at its flagship LA store. Picks include both vintage and modern pieces for both men and women, like a rare Van Cleef lighter, a deck of vintage Cartier playing cards and Palo Santo smudge sticks — we’ll file those under “hostess gifts” — and rounds out with a duo of The Row accessories, a striped cashmere scarf + thin textured belt, that act as staples of any cold weather outfit.

Erase all thoughts of a possible splurge now: the goods are each tagged “price upon request,” which usually translates to “astronomically pricey” (yep, even the smudge sticks). But that doesn’t mean your dreams of gifting an Olsen-approved anything are completely dashed this holiday. With pieces in the twins’ Stylemint jewelry collaboration coming in at $40 or less, it’s like MK + A answered our call for impeccably chic and affordably priced goods with “You got it, dude!” So shop that gift guide and leave this one for your daily dose of ohhs and aahhs.

What’s the most outlandish gift guide you’ve ever seen? Tell us about the most opulent gift you’ve ever gifted in the comments below.

(h/t + Images via Elle)

If you've been struggling to get enough sleep, new TikTok viral wellness trend — 'sleepmaxxing' — wants to help. We'd give anything to stop dealing with insomnia, middle-of-the-night wakeup calls, and overall sleep anxiety. But does this trend work? And more importantly, are all these social media tips safe for you to try?

Dr. Ankur Bindal, MD, MPH, FAPA, FAASM can tell you better than we can given his board certification in psychiatry, from American Board of Psychiatry & neurology. In addition to being the founder of the KAB Medical Group Inc. in San Diego, he's also a board certified sleep medicine practitioner who's seen firsthand how a lack of rest can affect our overall wellbeing.

TL;DR

  • Sleepmaxxing is a TikTok trend that's focused on setting yourself up for the best night of sleep possible.
  • While sleep masks and other tangible efforts to get comfortable in bed are great, you mainly want to make sure you're making healthy choices before bed like avoiding your phone.
  • Adults should aim for seven to nine hours of sleep each night.
  • Eliminate too much light in your bedroom, avoid screen time, and establish consistent sleeping and waking times.

What is sleepmaxxing?

KATRIN BOLOVTSOVA

If you're confused about sleepmaxxing, you're not alone — it's really not a straightforward term. It reminds us of what Will Ferrell said in Blades of Glory: "No one knows what it means but it's provocative...gets the people going." However, it actually has a meaning, and Dr. Bindal succinctly breaks it down. "Sleepmaxxing is the art and science of optimizing one's sleep and achieving the best possible quality & quantity of sleep by addressing every factor that can disrupt sleep," he says. This can look like using ear plugs, sleep masks, establishing specific sleep rituals, or anything else that is soothing and helpful.

Mainly, if you actually want to maximize your sleep, then you need to focus on what you do before you go to bed. Unbeknownst to us at times, our bedtime habits can affect the kind of rest we get (or not) at night. Dr. Bindal says, "Optimal Sleep hygiene methodologies including limiting light and sound exposure to using the latest sleep gadgets so sleepmaxxing aims to enhance sleep quality to the fullest." Unfortunately this means our habit of binge watching shows or scrolling mindlessly on TikTok at night aren't helping us.

I mean, according to the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, 35% of those surveyed have their sleep interrupted by lights inside of their homes. That's just lights, sans repetitious social media sounds and compelling television plots. When you add those on top of it all...let's just say we really are not doing ourselves any favors.

How does getting the proper amount of rest aid in our overall wellbeing?

Ahmed ツ

Now that you have a better idea of what sleepmaxxing is, we have to talk about why it matters. Dr. Bindal says getting the "proper amount of sleep" helps support" the following "various bodily functions" including, but not limited to:

  • Brain health — Enhanced cognition in domains of learning, concentration and consolidating memory by promoting phenomenon of hippocampal plasticity
  • Immune system function — A production of essential immune cells, better equipped to fighting off infections
  • Hormone regulation — A regulation of mood and reduced stress and physical repair that promotes muscle recovery, tissue repair, and overall physical development

He further explains that hormone regulation eventually leads to "improved mood, concentration, energy levels, and reduced risk of chronic diseases like heart disease and diabetes."

Basically, the health benefits of slowing down and going to sleep outweigh what society often pushes — staying up later, longer and hustling at all hours of the day and night.

On average, how many hours of sleep are recommended?

Kaboompics.com

How much rest are you truly getting at night? If you ask America's Health Rankings, 35% of adults are getting less than seven hours of sleep. Dr. Bindal says that while adults should sleep between seven and nine hours every night, and there are health risks for those who don't. "Research corroborates that adults who sleep less than seven hours a night may have more health issues than those who do," he explains. Johns Hopkins Medicinefound that sleep deprivation can lead to a "36% increased risk for colorectal cancer," propensity for developing type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, and an overall lower immune system.

Saying "I'll sleep when I'm dead," may sound like a joke, but there's nothing funny about not letting your body get the rest it needs to function.

Should people with sleep difficulties try sleepmaxxing?

Marcus Aurelius

There are several reasons why your sleep could be negatively impacted right now. You may be dealing with insomnia due to stress, depression, or being a new parent. According to the American Psychological Association, 43% of people believe being stressed contributes to their lack of sleep. Furthermore, these same people have noticed their mood has shifted. The same reports shows that 45% of people who are getting less than the recommended hours of sleep have shared they feel on edge more than others while 52% have noticed they've been taking their frustrations out on those in their household.

Dr. Bindal agrees that sleepmaxxing can greatly benefit you if you're struggling because it can "enhance sleep quality to the fullest and emphasizes the importance of optimal sleep health."

How does sleepmaxxing benefit us?

Pavel Danilyuk

Clearly, you need a certain amount of sleep to function properly and achieve all those goals you've so intentionally set recently (hello, October Theory!). That's where sleepmaxxing can come in. Dr. Bindal says, "Improved sleep quality can lead to enhanced mental clarity and emotional stability, making it easier to navigate daily challenges."

If you're planning to change a few habits, you're going to need all the strength and focus you can access because change isn't always easy — even if you welcome it! So when you're implementing these new nighttime routines, be sure to stick to them. Turn your phone on Do Not Disturb, avoid the itch to scroll socials, and make sure you're able to properly relax. It can make all the difference in the world!

How can we incorporate sleepmaxxing in our bedtime routines?

KATRIN BOLOVTSOVA

If you don't know how to make sleepmaxxing work for you, Dr. Bindal has great suggestions! "Key techniques include optimizing your sleep environment, establishing a consistent sleep schedule, and managing stress and anxiety," he suggests.

One of the key ways you can make sure your room will promote a good night's sleep is by "adjusting the temperature" or "practicing a relaxation exercises before bed," he says. While meditation and mindfulness may be relaxation exercises that take practice over time, choosing the correct temperature is an easy way to set yourself up for success. Everyone's different, but he truly believes your room should be between 65 and 69 degrees Fahrenheit, too.

As Dr. Bindal mentioned before, eliminating sources of light can also aid in the rest you get. Personally, I can't sleep with the TV or lights on anymore because I just know it interrupts my sleep. My room is usually pitch black when it's time to go to sleep — to the point my three-year-old knows what it means when I turn everything off.

Besides these things, Dr. Bindal encourages you to maintain "consistent sleep and wake times" along with a "balanced diet and regular physical activity." Whether that means you start making your own Cava bowls inspired by the blue zone diet or doing workouts at home, they can aid in helping your body repair itself which then promotes the sleep you need.

Can we become too hyper-focused on our quality of sleep?

Kevin Malik

As with anything, too much of something can have adverse affects which rules out any benefits. Though sleepmaxxing can be a good thing for you, becoming fixated on it is likely going to make you even more stressed. "One of the primary concerns with sleepmaxxing is the development of orthosomnia, a condition caused by an obsession with tracking sleep metrics, with devices or apps, which increases anxiety and can further disrupt sleep, called paradoxical insomnia," Dr. Bindal warns.

If you become too obsessed with tracking every little thing, he says all this will do is "disrupt sleep cycles and limit the efficacy of insomnia treatments." But, he has an idea of what you can do to lessen the chance that'll happen. "Instead of over-analyzing how much sleep you’re getting, it’s important to understand that insomnia is a common and treatable condition, by incorporating healthy sleep hygiene routines organically and focusing on addressing the root causes of insomnia symptoms," he shares.

How can we optimize our sleep without getting sucked into wellness trends?

Niels from Slaapwijsheid.nl

Whether you want to call it sleepmaxxing or not, all you have to do is normalize the tips Dr. Bindal mentioned above. "Some of the ways can include established a consistent sleep schedule, creating a relaxing bedtime routine, managing light exposure, and limiting screen time before you want to go to sleep," he reiterates. Social media isn't going anywhere so don't let your FOMO convince you that potential scandals or tutorials are more important than getting seven to nine hours of sleep.

Also, don't forget to "maintain a comfortable sleep environment" while being aware of your "caffeine and alcohol intake throughout the day," Dr. Bindal points out. Something tells us that we're going to have to be intentional about breaking up with our daily coffee runs and desires to unwind with a nice glass of wine. But if it means we'll sleep better, we'll add that to our list of habits to change!

Need an extra dose of positivity in your life? We have even more lifestyle tips to share to help you end the year on a healthy and wholesome note!

In The Holiday, there's Cameron Diaz’s sleek, modern LA home, while Kate Winslet’s character offers up her quaint, cozy English cottage. If you lean more into Kate’s cozy vibe, especially in the fall & winter, here are some simple tips to transform your home into a rustic and cozy cottage this season. From fresh flowers to vintage art, these easy upgrades will help you capture that English charm in your home so you can sit back, relax, and admire.

Tip 1: Use A Soft, Neutral Color Palette

@sophia.at.home via Farrow & Ball

Choose soft whites, creams, pastels with touches of blue, sage green, and blush pinks in your decor. Paint a cozy reading nook with a soothing color like Farrow & Ball's Schoolhouse White, and look for vintage-style furniture made in natural fibers like linen or cotton. Bonus if you have a fireplace, but if not a candle will do!

Shop The Nook

IKEA

IKEA ROCKSJÖN Armchair

Tip 2: Layer Natural Linens

Shutterstock

Get cozy with plenty of pillows, quilts, and knitted throws to add layers of warmth and comfort (kitty optional;). Natural fiber rugs like jute, sisal, or wool rugs bring natural texture to the space, and light and airy curtains like linen or lace can help filter sunlight and create a romantic, cozy atmosphere.

Shop Linens & Rugs

Magnolia

Magnolia Flora Pillow

Tip 3: Bring In Floral Elements

JJ's Flower Shop

Treat yourself to a subscription of fresh flowers, like this pastel bouquet from JJ's Flower Shop, perfectly neutral and natural for your cottage aesthetic. Display them in mason jars or vintage vases for a natural touch. Bring in small plants like succulents, herbs, or wildflowers, and add botanical prints and wallpapers with floral patterns to enhance the look.

SHOP COTTAGE FLORALS

Chasing Paper

Chasing Paper x Jenni Yolo Cosmo Block Print

Tip 4: Add A Warm Touch

Vlada Karpovich

Go for soft, warm lighting instead of bright overhead lights and light your favorite fall candleto create a cozy ambience, especially in candleholders made from metal, wood, or glass. Warm fairy lights create a magical glow and are perfect for mantels. Enjoy the season with a pot of soup, coffee, hot chocolate, or mulled wine and get hygge in the kitchen too!

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Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

Navigating adulthood as an eldest daughter can be tough. While you’re not a child in your parents’ home anymore, the dynamics you grew up with can still follow. Think about it: how often do you find yourself trying to solve everyone else’s problems while continuously trying to shoulder your own alone? If this resonates with you at all, you may be dealing with Eldest Daughter Syndrome.

To understand what this actually looks like beyond the TikTok therapy speak of it all, I talked to a licensed therapist, Briana Paruolo, LCMHC. As the founder of On Par Therapy — a practice that specializes in “burnout, disordered eating, and self-worth” that seeks to “empower high achieving women” — she comes across a lot of clients dealing with eldest daughter syndrome. Here’s what Paruolo has to say!


TL;DR

  • Eldest daughter syndrome isn't in the DSM-5, but that doesn't make the experiences of eldest daughters any less real.
  • Eldest daughter syndrome can look like intense perfectionism, unrealistic high standards, an inability to delegate, and an innate need to prioritize the needs of others first.
  • Eldest daughters can heal by validating their experiences, understanding their self-worth, and setting clear boundaries with themselves and others — especially by just saying "no" sometimes.

What is eldest daughter syndrome?

cottonbro studio

While The New York Timesreports that eldest daughter syndrome "isn’t an actual mental health diagnosis" — AKA it's not an official disorder recognized in the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) — the symptoms seem to have a very real effect on the people struggling with it. Paruolo explains, "Often times with my clients, we explore 'eldest daughter experiences' as a way to avoid pathologizing this now normalized response to family roles and expectations. The eldest daughter experiences behavioral patterns and emotional experiences that are unique to their birth order in comparison to other siblings."

What does this all mean in practice? Paruolo says that families tend to place a ton more expectations on firstborn children, from achievements to overall responsibilities. According to Paruolo, this can put pressure on these children to lead and set a good example for younger siblings. Over time, that pressure can grow and evolve, leading an eldest daughter to taking on more and more throughout her life — even outside of the family home she grew up in — and cause further complications in their relationships, workplace, and otherwise.

What are the symptoms of eldest daughter syndrome?

Pavel Danilyuk

Like I said before, you naturally carry a lot of these experiences from childhood into your adult interactions. And while having leadership proclivities and high standards for yourself isn't inherently a bad thing, all of these pressing expectations can morph into more frustrating symptoms later on in life.

Since this isn't an exact diagnosis or disorder (yet), a lot of these symptoms can come from the practical findings from therapists over time. With Paruolo's clients, she's noticed that eldest daughters "might experience symptoms of perfectionism and unrealistic self-induced demands in both workplaces and relationships." She explains that this can look like a lack of delegation or asking for help. Paroulo also notes that eldest daughters may innately "prioritize others' needs before they acknowledge their own" — and if they choose to pick their own needs first, they may end up feeling guilty in the long run.

Each of these symptoms can pop up in an eldest daughter's day-to-day, but they can also have some unfortunate long term effects if they go unaddressed. "Long term effects might look like consciously or unconsciously being placed in a caregiving role, which can lead to burnout in many relationships," Paruolo says. She explains that this "immense pressure" and the climbing responsibilities can eventually cause chronic stress — and potentially even lead to resentment toward family members.

Netflix

For a fictional — but still practical! — example, let's think about Daphne Bridgerton. In season 1, we immediately see the extreme weight Daphne bears to find a good, respectable marriage that will make her family proud and cement their societal standing even further. That's a ton of pressure for anyone of any age, let alone a 21-year-old woman. Meanwhile, her older brothers Anthony and Benedict are 29 and 27, respectively — and if you remember, they don't seem to nervous about their own standings on the marriage mart, let alone seem eager to marry yet at all.

But Daphne prevails! She marries The Duke of Hastings, conceives a child, and fulfills her family's dreams against all odds. If you thought that would be enough, and that Daphne officially check off her eldest daughter duty, you'd be wrong! In season 2, when Anthony finally decides to navigate his own marriage prospects, the family calls Daphne in for help to give advice and lead them through their struggles. So even though Daphne's started a family of her own (exactly what they wanted and asked of her!), her job is never done. She councils, aids, and doles out an endless supply of love and care.

What can parents do to prevent eldest daughter syndrome?

Any Lane

Parents have a lot to prioritize as they raise their families, but there are some small (but very powerful!) things they can do to help prevent eldest daughter syndrome from getting out of hand. First and foremost, Paruolo wants parents to know how important it is to be mindful of how they speak to their children, regardless of their birth order. She stresses that a parents' voice "often becomes the child's internal voice (and often the harshest critic)."

Next, Paruolo suggests creating a more open environment for the family to talk about their feelings about the family dynamic. By doing so, it seems like this could mitigate that resentment we've talked about before, where an eldest daughter may take on more and more without asking for help and eventually burning out. Paruolo notes you can have these conversations at family dinners or meetings — this offers a set time and place for each person to air their feelings.

Finally, Paruolo wants parents that they should be "mindful of the caregiving responsibilities they place on the eldest" while also "encouraging age-appropriate forms of independence for the children in the house." All these efforts can help "breed healthier dynamics," and hopefully make an eldest daughter's life a little easier, one step at a time.

How can women heal from their eldest daughter syndrome?

jasmin chew

After reading all this, it may seem overwhelming to recognize that you're dealing with eldest daughter syndrome. Luckily, your symptoms and struggles don't have to define you because Paruolo has some key advice for healing. "Women can deal with and heal from their oldest daughter syndrome by acknowledging their real and valid experiences," she says. "We don't tell someone with a broken leg to get over it, so the same nurturing and understanding of how the eldest daughter syndrome has shaped them is essential for their journey."

There are a few ways you can truly validate these eldest daughter experiences — and work to move on from them. Paruolo suggests practicing mindfulness in order to notice what your innate behaviors are. She says, "It can be a simple three second pause with the reflective question, 'Am I placing the oxygen mask on someone else before helping myself in this moment?'" In doing this, you're able to create a space where you allow yourself to choose your own needs first — or at least start acknowledging them more clearly.

One of the biggest — and I'd say hardest — practices that Paruolo suggests? Saying no. She says that acclimating to the discomfort of setting boundaries and saying that two-letter word can really help you form better, healthier habits. I know I could definitely do this more.

Finally, Paruolo wants eldest daughters to work on reframing their self-worth. She says, "Get curious about why it's an honor to be you (because it is!) and try to separate it from the caregiver or problem-solver role you have been continuously placed in."

Elina Fairytale

If there's anything to take away from my conversation and research, I'd let it be this: your experiences as an eldest daughter are valid, and you deserve to prioritize yourself! Whether 'eldest daughter syndrome' is in a diagnostic book or not, it's clear that therapists are taking these instances seriously, honoring their clients needs — so why shouldn't you honor your own?

I don't want to end this article hypocritically. I struggle with my own eldest daughter tendencies daily, but it's helpful to know that there are very real steps I can take to make my life easier, to exhale. And maybe one day, these lived experiences we all share will be codified in the DSM-5, allowing future eldest daughters to have a clearer playbook to live by — because you know we love achievable, clear goals. 😉

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