Like many autumn-loving millennials, I grew up watching Gilmore Girls religiously, and I'm not embarrassed to say Lorelai and Rory had a major influence on my formative years. While my GG viewing journey began in my beachy Florida hometown, dreaming of small-town Connecticut vibes where it’s inexplicably always fall, I continued watching via reruns — and eventually Netflix — for the next two decades.
However, this year something shifted. Suddenly, I didn’t relate to Lorelai and Rory in the way I used to. Situations where I was previously 100% on their side (ahem, Mitchum), I see things more clearly (except the yacht situation — that was never cool, Rory!). Which makes sense, as my first viewing was around Rory’s age...and I’m now 32, Lorelai’s age at the start of the series. I’ve always heard that wisdom comes with age, so here are 25 thoughts I have rewatching Gilmore Girls as an adult.
Having A Baby At 16 (& Raising Her On Your Own) Is Huge
Image via WB
It’s actually a pretty big deal — not just a funny one-liner. During my first viewing, it felt like teen pregnancy was everywhere in pop culture, and I didn’t fully comprehend why some characters made a big deal over Lorelai’s age while others just laughed along. But as a newly minted 32-year-old, I couldn’t imagine having a 16-year-old child right now! Let alone raising one very well from the time I was just 16 myself! Definitely impressive of young (and adult) Lorelai!
Lorelai Was Right To Turn Chris Down
Image via WB
As a hopelessly romantic teen who desperately wanted a cute boyfriend, I thought love was all you needed. And I was extremely confused by Lorelai’s rejection of Chris’s proposal in the first season. He said he loved her and wanted to be a family — shouldn’t that be enough? But alas, he wasn’t ready for a commitment, and Lorelai knew it. Trusting your gut is a big part of growing up.
Max Medina Wasn’t *That* Great
Image via WB
I always thought Max’s proposal was incredibly romantic. He did exactly what Lorelai wanted — 1,000 yellow daisies (definitely more than 1,000 TBH) and had a beautiful speech prepared, which he delivered….over the phone? It’s honestly pretty strange that he wasn’t there in person. Proposals are so personal, and his just felt disconnected. It’s no wonder Lorelai had trouble making up her mind!
Emily And Richard Aren’t As Mean As Lorelai Makes Them Out To Be
Image via WB
Sure, they can be harsh and difficult, and they're clearly still hurt over the past. But so are Lorelai and Rory, whether or not the show wants to admit it. But this is life and all humans are flawed, and Lorelai isn’t the victim that I always believed she was.
Lorelai And Rory Are SO Codependent
Image via WB
I always thought their relationship was perfect, but it’s honestly not too healthy for either of them. We know Lorelai’s emotional growth is stunted due to having to be an adult from a young age, but maybe their relationship explains why Rory isn’t as well-adjusted as she should be either.
Richard’s Attack On Dean Wasn't Malicious
Image via WB
For years, I thought Richard was such a jerk for this, but as an adult...I can see his intentions are in the right place. We're all the sum of who we spend the most time with, so the company we keep is important. However, his delivery probably could’ve waited until after dinner.
Naming A Baby After Yourself Is Pretty Bad*ss
Image via WB
Though it’s mentioned in the show a few times — often played as a joke or a quirky character trait — I kind of love that Lorelai went for it and named her baby Lorelai, too. Men have been doing this for years, and I wish more women would as well. It’s such a cool, forward-thinking choice, especially for a young girl in the 80's!
Pride Is Great...Unless You Let It Hinder Your Life
Image via WB
Another example of Lorelai playing the victim: When she wanted a bank loan, Emily knew that Lorelei would need a co-signer and showed up for her despite their differences, without intentionally making her feel bad. Instead of accepting the help, Lorelai assumed her mom was out to get her (?) and almost cost herself the opportunity to get some much-needed funding, all because of her relentless insistence of doing it all on her own. The lesson? Don’t be so shortsighted and quick to assume.
Christopher Somehow *Always* Makes The Worst Decisions
Image via WB
In season 2, he wasn’t being romantic by giving Lorelai the pearl necklace for her graduation, and I refuse to see this gesture as such. He was still dating Sherry, and that totally sent mixed signals.
A little later, when Christopher and Lorelai finally give it a go for real, he finds out Sherry is pregnant and decides to marry her instead. Let me just say...there's no universe where this was the right thing to do! Besides breaking Lorelai’s (and Rory’s!) hearts, he entered into a loveless marriage, doing a disservice to both Sherry and Gigi.
Paris Was On To Something With Her Quest To Uncover The Dark Side Of Small Towns
Image via WB
This was played for laughs, and as a tween in 2001, I thought it was ridiculous. However, in today’s climate...it’s not too difficult to imagine the dark side of a small town — despite how charming and idyllic it may look on the surface.
Emily’s Desire To Find A Maid She Likes Is *Sorta* Fair
Image via WB
Yes, she’s not warm and fuzzy, but Emily Gilmore knows what she wants. I once thought she was a mean dictator, but her monologue in relation to the lawsuit clears it up: If you’re paying for a service, you demand that service (i.e. coach vs first class on a plane). If someone is working in your home, it’s all the more important to get the chemistry and personality fit right, as opposed to a traditional office environment.
Logan’s Family’s Opinion Of Rory Wasn't Too Far Off
Image via WB
Although Logan’s family’s disapproval of Rory when they meet her at dinner is unexpected, it’s definitely not as out of the blue as I originally thought. Logan’s family knows Richard and Emily well, and they’re likely well aware of Rory’s career aspirations, which is the main point of contention. Although Logan’s mother and grandfather are extremely clear about this, Rory can’t get past thinking it’s a class issue. I will never not cringe at hearing her exclaim “but I’m a Gilmore?!?!” Whether we like it or not, compatibility of lifestyles and goals play a huge role in whether a couple has a successful future together — Logan’s parents were just looking out for him, misguided as they may have been.
Michum’s Offer For An Internship Was Thoughtful
Image via WB
Rory initially rejects this very generous offer for a fantastic opportunity that will help further her career ambitions, all because she believes it wasn’t extended for the right reasons (out of guilt over the dinner). Mitchum’s response “So what? Life is full of opportunities….” is so spot on. It doesn’t matter why — just take advantage of what’s in front of you! Maybe if Rory wasn’t so uncomfortable using her connections, she would have been a more successful journalist.
So Maybe Mitchum Was A Little Right About Rory
Image via WB
I so clearly remember being confused by how the Mitchum internship went down. But she’s Rory, how could she *not* have what it takes?! But now, as a college grad who successfully completed 14 internships during undergrad and has worked in communications for almost a decade, I completely understand where he’s coming from.
If you rewatch these episodes, you’ll see the light as well. In the scene right before Mitchum has the talk with Rory, he’s running an editorial meeting and she’s sitting in. He mentions the paper can find students (like Rory, who writes for the Yale Daily News) at local colleges (like Yale) to freelance for the paper, and Rory stayed silent. That was her moment to impress him by raising her hand and volunteering, and it was also the moment when he decided she didn’t have what it takes to be a journalist. Looking at it now, she was very clearly missing the drive; the “not knowing if she could speak up because she’s just an intern” schtick? Any budding journalist would have raised their hands so quickly for a shot at a byline on a real paper.
While all of Rory’s growth at the paper was great — learning names, getting coffee orders correct — she was essentially growing into a secretary, not a journalist. And there’s nothing wrong with that, but it’s a very different skillset.
TL;DR she didn't have what it takes, he knew it, and he did her a favor (as she tried to do with the ballerina, however harsh it was.)
Rory’s Harsh Ballet Review Was Actually Symbolic
Image via WB
Shortly after Rory returns to Yale, she’s tasked with reviewing a ballet performance. She hates the performance and decides to eviscerate the ballerina in her review, only feeling guilty *after* the she’s confronted. By the episode’s end, Rory realizes that truthful reviews are important and it’s better that the ballerina finds out now so she can pursue something else instead. This make sense, but for some reason Rory can’t seem to connect her harsh review with Mitchum’s, despite very recently being on the receiving end of a well-meaning (but harshly received) review. Effectively, Rory became the Mitchum, illustrating that she’s grown thicker skin and isn't afraid to hurt feelings when she needs to.
Luke Telling Rory That He And Lorelai Are Engaged Was...Off
Image via WB
I wanted our girls to make up as much as the next serial rewatcher, but this was not it. Luke inserting himself in the middle of Rory and Lorelai during their fight and telling Rory that they’re engaged is so misguided and inappropriate. And then proceeding to flip out at Lorelai, because their fight is inconveniencing him? Let’s add Luke to the list of emotionally immature characters on this show.
Lorelai Planning The Entire Wedding In One Day Is SO Unrealistic
Image via WB
As a tween this seemed normal, but as an adult who just spent two years (!) planning their own wedding, I can confirm it’s totally unrealistic.
Also, getting married in a church is an absolutely bizarre choice for someone who isn’t at all religious (as we learned in Sookie’s baptism episode). And why would she pick out Luke’s tuxedo, without him even trying it on?
I get that weddings are inherently “girly” and not Luke’s thing, but your partner should have some involvement in the planing process (at the very least, maybe get their opinion on the venue and tux?!). These are big financial decisions that should not be made alone (she put down non refundable deposits and booked dates before checking with him). I love Luke & Lorelai but upon rewatching, they were never on the same page — which is so evident here.
Dave Rygalski Was A Pathological Liar
Image via WB
I used to think he was the perfect guy, and it took me a long time to see the light. Never forget how he jumped through all those hoops for Lane! But as an adult who has dealt with *many* too-good-to-be-true suitors, it’s shocking how easy it was for him to lie to Mrs Kim. I genuinely think Dave is a pathological liar, and definitely not someone you want to be with forever, which brings us to…
Zack Was Actually A Great Guy
Image via WB
Truthfully, I always thought he was a loser who was obsessed with everything being “so rock and roll.” But he was actually always totally real and upfront about who he was, which is something that Mrs. Kim was able to respect despite their differences.
Richard Was The Real Villain Of Emily’s LASIK Surgery
Image via WB
I fully expected to feel like Lorelai was in the wrong during my most recent rewatch (although she’s no angel here — you're mom can’t see, stop complaining and help her out!), but the real villain here is Richard. Who leaves their wife for a business trip after a botched eye surgery? He’s back at the firm by this point (a global company) and could have easily had someone else step in to take the meeting instead.
Rory Dropping Out Of Yale Wasn't The Worst Thing Ever
Image via WB
As a teen, this seemed crazy. Why would Rory give up on her dream and throw her life away?! But as an adult who, like Rory, went through personal trauma during her college years, took time off, and eventually went back and finished school, I see things differently now. Success is not linear, and everyone’s path is different. When you’re that focused, it’s even more important to take a breather and recalibrate.
Mrs Kim’s Parenting Skills Shine When Lane And Rory Both Face Setbacks
Image via WB
I love Rory and Lorelai’s relationship (it’s so similar to mine and my own mother’s!), but they didn't respect each other’s opinions when they disagreed. From Lorelai freezing Rory out after she wanted to give up and take time off of Yale (again, just a semester — and so not a big deal!) to Rory refusing to hear out Lorelai’s side and listen to her advice, this feels off for two people who love each other so much. Especially when juxtaposed with Lane’s and Mrs. Kim’s drama on-going in the same episode.
At the end of season 5, Lane also wanted to give up on her dream (being a drummer in Hep Alien) and move back home, but Mrs. Kim surprised us all by stepping up and proclaiming, “So you’re giving up? Then you are not the daughter I raised!” And she proceeds to help Lane and the band go on tour across the East Coast. Even if it’s not the vision Mrs. Kim had for her only daughter, she’d rather have a happy daughter than a miserable one who accepts defeat.
Lane and her mother always had a different dynamic than the other mother/daughter duos on the show. While they’re not as close as Rory and Lorelai, Mrs. Kim always had her daughter’s respect. It’s interesting how Lane and Rory both experienced setbacks and wanted to give up their dreams, but Mrs. Kim ultimately stepped up while Lorelai lost touch with her daughter for months.
Season 7 Christopher Was A CATCH
Image via WB
Younger me hated Christopher for coming between Luke and Lorelai (really though, that was all Lorelai), but Christopher achieved excellent character development over the course of seven seasons. He truly gets Lorelai, from planning the perfect date to involving her in his life in a real way, which Luke was never able to do. They may not have been endgame but he was great for that moment in time.
The Abortion Convo...Er, Lack Thereof
Image via WB
Lane gets pregnant at 22, and she explicitly says she isn’t ready for the baby and that there’s so much more she wants to do first before kids. Lane is a small town girl, so she may not have known her options, but she has a worldly best friend who’s sexually experienced, well-traveled, and Ivy League educated.
So what wonderful advice does Rory give her friend in distress? She assures her that she will be a GREAT mom and to stop worrying. This is uncomfortably tone deaf, and a real way that Rory failed Lane as a friend and fellow woman.
In a later conversation, Zach and Lane both agree that they’re broke, totally unprepared, and that “this baby sucks.” But they just decide to suffer through it and don’t discuss any other options.
As a teen with limited life experience, this made sense during my first viewing. But as an adult woman in a post-Roe v Wade world, I’m floored this storyline was ever approved without even the slightest mention of the A-word.
Judging Sherry Was Way Harsh
Image via WB
Personally, I cringe every time Lorelai and Rory bring up the point that “mani-pedi-twice-a-week Sherry” can’t possibly be a good mom. I know she’s supposed to be the villain who “stole” Christopher from Lorelai —only for us to later see things through Christopher’s POV only — but these characterizations did not age well. Realistically, Sherry is a career-driven woman who screwed up and married a guy who’s an absent father to both of his children — and she finally decided to put herself first.
Looking for more Gilmore Girls hot takes? We've got you covered on everyone and everything to loving Paris and Logan...to not loving Rory. 😉
This post has been updated.
