The Number Two Pencil Just Went Electric

Seenlast Lamp + Candle Warmer

I was gifted a lamp/candle warmer last year, and have been pleasantly surprised by how much I use it, and how much it transforms your space. It does a good job and making your desk feel that much more cozy, and at home. This essential will help make you feel at home even miles away at work.

Auelife Fall Candle Set

A fall candle needs to be lit at all times for me to have complete zen. If a fall-scented candle is lit, I can truly get through any day no matter how stressful. This one is a 4 pack, so you can enjoy all the fun scents while they also act as a cute, decor piece!

XXXFLOWER Plant Terrarium

Having real plants in your office can be a great step towards making your office feel more like home — or even cozying up your WFH setup — and have a more grounding energy. This may seem silly, but whenever I have plants or flowers around me, it just makes me feel more centered and at peace. So, I would highly recommend this cute terrarium as a decor piece on your desk to help you center yourself throughout the day!

MDOZQ Memo Board for Notes

One thing I always keep nearby when I'm working? A memo board of some kind to display notes from my husband, loved ones, or friends. This is another great way to have peaceful reminders if you ever get stressed during an intense work day!

Gannyfer Small Desk Organizer

A desk organizer does a great hob at categorizing some of your daily-use items while making them look more presentable at the same time. This one is one of my faves with home you can style it with all your most prized possessions. Add in your favorite books, knick knacks, and pictures for injecting some personality into your space!

AZLTC Book Vase

This vase is so practical and so adorable! Like I mentioned before, having real flowers or plants are a huge energy shift in your space, and this vase is insanely cute! I love how it livens up your space, while looking chic doing it! Grab this essential on Amazon for only $7... I repeat: $7! Such a steal.

Kootop Wireless Keyboard

Is anyone else on ASMR keyboard Tiktok?! Or is that just me... Because these click clack keyboards are actually my most recent obsession. I feel like they just help to make typing away at your computer seem fun. Plus, it looks oh-so-cute! This one's going home with me!

Jetec Photo Display

As you can tell from my note display tendencies, I'm a severely sentimental person, so I not only have notes of my loved ones, but also photos! In every office, cubicle, or desk I've ever had, there's always been a photo display of polaroids for those that I like to remind myself of on a daily basis! Another simple edition that will make all the difference to your space. Plus, it fills a lot of space and can make your office seem more full.

SKYDUE 360 Degree Rotating Desk Organizer

This desk has so many pros to it:

• It is a great organizer to divide up pens, markers, and anything you need.
• It rotates for easy access.
• It looks super cute on your desk.
• AND it's under $10.

Lamicall Green Phone Stand

If you're someone like me, and needs to have your phone on standby for any various reasons like making calls, answers emails, or simply watching clips for work, then this phone stand is a life saver! It can charge your phone, all while sitting up right for easy viewing access. I like to have this by my computer whenever I'm working!

BEFORE: Interior

The design pair notes that the original home was stuck in the past with mismatched flooring, a dysfunctional sense of flow, and an extreme lack of character.

AFTER: Interior

Amanda and Taylor took advantage of the LA views and tons of natural light by opening up the space, and then adding high-end materials and statement lighting to add charm and sophistication.

“The house was extremely dated and choppy up so our goal was to open things up while still having the feel of warmth and cohesion," says Amanda. "We did this through adding natural stone, wood, and warm lighting throughout.”

The result? A design that is elevated, functional, and timeless. "We typically let the bones of the house inspire us and let us guide it into what it wants to be," says Taylor. "This house in particular was different from most of our other projects - much more angular lines and harsh divisions between spaces so we had to find a way to soften things while still not trying to make it something it wasn't."

Bed + Bath Inspiration

Amanda and Taylor have perfected the art of blending modern and traditional elements, creating spaces that feel fresh, cozy, and stylish without being overly trendy. “We added cedar beams on the ceilings in some of the rooms and added lighting and warmer tones to add grounding," says Taylor.

The bathrooms share a cohesive look with the home, from the oak flooring, marble and stone, to nature-inspired materials.

Vistas from the hilltop were important to capture, especially from the stunning master bedroom. "In the primary bedroom, the large glass windows feel like you're part of the landscape, which is important to us," says Amanda.

Furniture and art are intentional in each of the rooms, creating symmetry, function and a warm minimalism vibe. I especially love the way the rooms transition from light to dark as you walk through the home.

The master bathroom is elegant and refined with a mix of marble, wood, and natural tones.

"Paint and furniture are everything!," says Taylor. She suggests picking pieces that are special and not something you can find at any big box store. "Layer layer layer. Layer throws and pillows, textures and paint colors. The more dimension a room has the more intentional it feels. Dont be afraid to add accent pieces for a pop of color and playfulness," she says.

Each bathroom plays into the nature-inspired aesthetic while having distinct features like unique mirrors and vanities.

The kids' room is the mini version of the rest of the home, using oak furnishings and cozy, natural layers with a pop of art.

Organic shapes compliment the overall vibe, giving the home an indoor-outdoor California modern feel.

"It's hard to keep an almost 5,000 sq ft home cozy in every space but it is something we prioritize and excel at while elevating it to meet today's needs," says Amanda.

A moody bathroom adds a bit of drama to the light-filled space.

BEFORE: Exterior

The exterior of the home left a whole lot to be desired.

AFTER: Exterior

The facade transformation is quite literally amazing.

The backyard takes advantage of the surrounding nature and views. Simply stunning!

1. We thought our first love was perfect and would argue with anyone who wanted us to take things slow with them.

I'll never forget the first time I fell in love at 19. I thought my ex was the "wind beneath my wings" because he had a great sense of humor and was creative like me. I told myself he was the person I was going to marry so I was offended when my parents didn't think he was mature enough to be in a serious relationship. If this sounds familiar, pull up a chair because Menon explains why we tend to idealize our first love.

"Your first love is your first experience with romantic love too, hence you typically see it with rose-colored glasses. The overwhelming emotion is often infatuation, which tends to overshadow the more critical and analytical part of our brain," she says. Sadly, this sounds like something my parents told me before but I couldn't fathom how true it was as a teen.

As the Clinical Director at Southern California Sunrise Recovery Center, Cavins has seen this play out before too. He says, "In your first relationship, there is a tendency to put your partner on a pedestal. The excitement of new love can create a powerful emotional fog that makes it hard to see flaws clearly."

Essentially, this "excitement of having a boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner supersedes" our ability to questions things we normally wouldn't put up with, according to Menon.

2. We tried to ignore the how many times our first loves disagreed with our values or goals.

While some couples are able to make their relationship work despite having a different outlook on life, sometimes it can be a sign that things aren't going to work long-term. Cavins says, "One major red flag is disregarding differences in values or goals for the future. For instance, you wish to become a parent someday while your spouse swears this will never happen— or vice versa. Early on, you might dismiss these differences, believing love will conquer all. However, these mismatched priorities can lead to resentment and challenges over time."

Honestly, I probably should've ran whenever my ex would mock my belief in God only for us to have to attend his mother and stepfather's church whenever I visited. There was so much confusion there, but I tried to dismiss it as something he needed time to work out.

Menon adds, "If this relationship makes you feel like you'e standing in quick sand - where you are trying to move forward but often feel held back in your individual aspirations, it may not be the right fit for you."

3. We thought it was 'cute' when our first loves made suggestions about which friends to avoid or what clothes to wear.

Cavins says, "Excessively possessive behaviors are another red flag that people often ignore easily when they fall in love for the first time. People tend to justify such behaviors by citing that it's due to love or protective instincts." I'm all for being in a relationship where your partner's able to see different sides of a picture, but controlling behavior shouldn't come with that. What might that look like?

Cavins says, "Your partner may frequently check in on you, offer opinions on who you should spend time with, or subtly pressure you into making choices that suit them." For example, your partner could start off making suggestions about your style that slowly morph into them controlling everything you wear. Somehow I went from being a self-professed 'girly-girl' to trying to emulate the style of 'sneakerheads' in a short amount of time. Though I love wearing everything from New Balance to Niké sneakers now, it's in a way that feels cohesive with my style.

You may have brushed this kind of behavior off because, again, you thought it meant your first love wanted the best for you. "It is understandable that such behavior hypothetically may come off as pleasant or affirming; however, they often signal an unhealthy dynamic of control rather than mutual respect," says

4. We always gave in when our first loves forced us to be affectionate.

*Sigh* I'm shaking my head for my younger self because there were many times I didn't advocate for myself in my first romantic relationship. I'd often give in to affectionate or intimate moments despite wanting personal space so I wouldn't be seen as 'boring' or uninterested in my ex. Menon says, "Given the infatuation, your first relationship can feel all-consuming and often is codependent. Hence, this may result in you overlooking that your partner does not respect your boundaries or desire for personal space."

Partly because the excitement of the relationship makes you want to spend all of your time together, until you don't. And then, it is often too late to correct a maladaptive historical pattern.

4. We always made excuses for why our partners would shower us with affection only to ignore us days later.

Let's be clear, 'love bombing' feels confusing and awful. No one should make you feel like you're the center of their universe only to ignore your calls or texts days later. But, this probably happened while you were with your first love. Cavins says, "There's a tendency for people to brush off their first love's emotional unavailability. When, for example, a partner is not responsive and not engaging in intimate discussions or does not express their feelings, some may rationalize this as them being 'just not ready.'" If that were the case, this person wouldn't have made you feel like being with you is something they truly wanted.

Of that, Cavins believes "it's important to recognize these behaviors early" because "they can result in a one-side emotional investment that leaves one party feeling unfulfilled in the long run." Sadly, my first love would have days where he was super sweet to me only to feel like I was smothering him with attention. This is also the same person who begged me to remain in our romantic relationship when he went to basic training although I felt it would be better if we chose to be friends. Imagine my surprise (and hurt) when he told me we should have an open relationship months after getting stationed for the first time.

I should've known better because he was never 100% on board with the idea of marriage until after he graduated from basic training. Cavins calls this "emotional disconnectedness." His further explanation is this is "when the initial chemistry between the partners subsides that emotional attachment matters." To avoid this, he feels "identifying and addressing any of these is critical in a case where you are looking to create a strong and healthy bond."

5. We ignored the ways our former partner blamed us whenever they got in trouble with their parents or an authority figure.

Did your first love have a hard time taking responsibility for things that went wrong by gaslighting you to absorb the blow of their mistakes? If you've furiously nodding, we should start a support group. Cavins says, "A key sign is a lack of personal or relational growth. Healthy relationships encourage mutual development, but if one partner stays stuck in old patterns while the other grows, it can create frustration and distance."

At no point should you be the reason why your first love got in trouble after answering their parents' house phone late at night after telling you to call at a certain time. It's situations like this that should've alerted us to awful behavior, but I can see how easy it is to dismiss things.

What if I'm in love for the first time and recognize these signs?

First, my heart goes out to you for being in a relationship that doesn't feel healthy. It hurts when we realize the person we thought was so great is anything but. The road to letting go of idealization may be long, but you can and will get better. Cavins says, "In the process of self-healing and recovery, the first step that must be taken is self-reflection. Ask yourself all of the necessary questions that arise, such as what this relationship means for you, what your boundaries are, and what this partnership has revealed about you as an individual."

I keep saying this, but relying on journal prompts can help you unpack a lot of things and, thankfully, Cavins agrees. He says, "You could always opt to talk to a specialist or being journaling in order to find some closure and draw meaning from the experience." Also, he wants you to start "making new memories." But, don't be passive about it.

"You will have to engage yourself in activities that will help redirect the focus of your thoughts. This could include joining a new class, engaging in a hobby, or traveling that involves some independence. These experiences can help shift your mindset from loss to growth and reinforce your identity outside of the relationship," says Cavins.

Another important thing you can do is "solicit help from others," according to him. "Calling on people you trust, like friends and family, to talk about these feelings can significantly help in healing," he says. This also helped me navigate life outside of my first real romantic relationship, reminding me that I still had a lot of love in my life that didn't begin or end with my ex.

Here are Menon's tips:

• Let yourself grieve — Let this loss run its course. If you need to feel angry, sad, distraught, nostalgic. Allow yourself the full breadth of this experience. If I ask you right now "don't think a out a yellow monkey", I can bet you just thought of a yellow monkey. We call this "the imp of the mind". When you reject feelings, or thoughts, they come back 10 times more fiercely. To move the feeling along, we must let ourselves experience it.
• Rediscover your identity (So important) — Your first love is often intertwined with self-discovery, and identity formation. Reconsider your goals, interests, values, friendships and hobbies and try to build your own sense of identity and individuality.

I saw my first love again and it feels like we're falling in love all over. Can we have a happy and healthy relationship?

I'm not going to tell you to run even though I told my ex I never wanted to speak or talk to him again. You could easily reconnect with the first person you fell in love with and realize that you're both in a place where you can have something beautiful. However, Cavins and Menon want you to be mindful if you're in this position.

"Reconnection is possible," begins Menon, "if both parties can objectively claim that they have grown emotionally and resolved the issues that held their relationship back." But, "if the reconnection is built on one person growing and the other not, it is likely to fail," she alerts. You'll need to "proceed with caution," she says because "your first love was a nostalgic era in your life that can cloud your judgement." To put it more clearly, she doesn't want you confuse "the fuzzies" with a "true knowing that the two of you can make it work."

Cavins says, "Reconnecting with a first love can trigger a strong wave of emotions, but it is important that such a decision is made with caution and a strong sense of pragmatism. Personal growth is a primary factor. Each party in the relationship must ask themselves how they have grown and evolved as individuals over time. If past patterns of conflict, immaturity, or unhealthy dynamics remain unaddressed, the same issues could resurface."

He wants you to consider these things:

• Are there any active relationships or past engagements that would make it rather difficult? That's because the feelings that come with reigniting old flames are very strong and can alter a person’s life, making it essential to start thinking from all angles before going ahead with it.
• Address previous challenges that caused the breakup in the first place. If the reasons behind the breakup have been resolved or do not exist anymore, then yes, meeting again has its prospects. However, keep in mind that, at times, memories can be selective and unfavorably distort the truth by overplaying the good qualities while avoiding the negative ones.
• Only rekindle things if both individuals are in a healthy emotional state and the decision is grounded in practical, mutual considerations—not just sentimentality or romanticized memories. Clear and honest discussions and an understanding of purpose are vital in ascertaining if rekindling the relationship will be worthwhile for both parties or if it will simply be an act of revisiting unresolved emotions.