I Tried 7 Different Plant-Based Milks And The Results Were... Mixed

trying and taste testing different plant based milks

Since plant-based milk became a thing, I haven’t ordered my coffee any other way. You truly cannot catch me ordering dairy-based milk over my beloved oat milk – I proudly belong to the 49% of Gen Z-ers that actually feel ashamed to order (shudders) real milk at cafés.

Whether my generation’s affinity for plant-based milks comes from an outstanding passion for combating climate change, or the fact that alternative milks are straight-up tastier in some cases, consuming less dairy products is canonically the cool thing to do.

Though I’ve dipped my toes into a concerning amount of plant-based foods, I haven't thoroughly explored the milk world – hence today’s taste test. Which milks stand up to my usual almond and oat bevs? Read on to discover some of the plant-based milks I tried, so you don’t have to.

Almond Breeze Unsweetened Original Almond Milk: 10/10

Ah yes, Almond Breeze – my ol’ reliable. I’ve bought this exact plant-based milk for as long as my memory serves me. It’s a versatile option to pour over cereal, add to smoothies, or substitute in dinner recipes.

It’s a low-calorie sip, at only 30 calories per serving. On the other hand, its protein content isn't entirely favorable (only 1 gram), but I can forgive Miss Almond Breeze for it – she’s proved her trustworthiness to me, over time.

Each sip of this milk is light on the tongue, as it’s a fairly thin, almost water-like consistency. It’s no surprise that the aftertaste is particularly almond-y, but the sweetness I pick up at the end of each tiny mouthful is pleasant, and far from overwhelming. Any plant-based milk that delivers a delicately-flavored swig scores big in my book, so the Almond Breeze Unsweetened Original Almond Milk is a 10/10 for me!

Minor Figures Barista Oat Milk: 8/10

This oat milk is apparently a big deal in the barista universe. I instantly recognized the logo – I mean, how could you miss the coffee-loving person in a bird suit printed on the carton? – and had to try this buzzy milk for myself.

Weighing in at 110 cals and <1 gram protein per serving, the nutrition content of this oat milk wasn’t really much of a priority (is it ever for a yummy little drink?) when I went to my fridge to reach for it. As long as it could spruce up my daily iced matcha latte, I’d be satisfied. And after trying it, I was!

When shaken, the Minor Figured Barista Oat Milk is visibly frothy – a delightful sign that when heated, it could be frothed to perfection. I’m more of an iced drink girly, so I didn’t get to try it hot – that part’s on you now. Nevertheless, the milk was super creamy and carried a brilliant nutty taste. Considering all of the plant-based milks I tried, this milk measures up to an 8/10. Delish.

Willa's Barista Oat Milk: 10/10

Seeing that the methodologies for commercially produced oat milks have recently been called into question, this oat milk from Willa’s was refreshing not for my body and my brain, too.

Willa’s uses the whole oat to make their plant-based milks, making sure production zeroes out on food waste. Using the entire oat ups the protein and fiber content in each serving (4 grams protein), plus this Barista Oat Milk has three times less sugars than other oat milks. One serving delivers 140 calories, but as I said before: who really cares if it’s going in a liquid treat?

At first pour, the oat milk was noticeably thicker than others I’ve tried over the years. As an oat milk stan, I simply love to see it. The thicker consistency sets this drink up for a delectable froth, which is probably why the barista army swarms to it.

Wow, this sip was criminally oat-y – but that’s definitely not a bad thing for a latte-loving gal like me. It was also sweeter than I expected, which also grants this plant-based milk some taste-testing points. What can I say? My sweet tooth gets the best of me all the time. I liked that this milk maintained a very fresh flavor over time, and it was absolutely heavenly in the A.M. drinks I made throughout the week. Definite 10/10!

Forager Project Organic Cashewmilk: 7/10

The only way I can describe this milk is: liquified cashews. I mean, I know that’s exactly what it is, but it just tasted so… pure.

This Forager Project bev poured with the consistency of water, as it’s pretty thin. I wasn’t necessarily bothered by the consistency, though – I thoroughly enjoyed pairing it with my morning matcha. The cashew-ness of it all made for a balanced and refreshing drink, but I can’t see myself consuming it any other way given the specificity of the taste.

The most devastating part about this milk was the severe lack of sweetness. The pureness of its flavor toes the line of being straight-up bland, likely because this plant-based milk is made with only 4 ingredients.

On the other hand, each serving of the Organic Cashew Milk gives you 3 grams of protein in only 90 calories. I do have to advocate for this milk because it’s the first cashew-based beverage I’ve sipped! 7/10, final answer.

Pacific Foods Unsweetened Hemp Beverage: 7/10

Before the girlies go mad, yes, this hemp milk is made with gums like xanthan. I’m not an absolute stickler when it comes to red flags in food like some people are, but I fully understand the concerns, since gums are known to cause gut complications.

Stepping into the plant-based milk ring at 60 calories and 3 grams of protein per serving, this is one of the more nutritious bevs on my taste-testing roster. After a vigorous shake and pour, I instantly fell in love with how frothy the milk got. The creaminess factor was definitely a plus from my initial tasting experience.

My first sip was a roller coaster, though. It tasted super bright at first, but the aftertaste resolved to a slight fruitiness – which caused some confusion in my milk-focused brain. I don’t think milk is really supposed to taste like fruit, but I came to the conclusion that this Pacific Foods Hemp Milk would be most delectable in a smoothie. As far as other uses go, I won’t be pouring this plant-based milk much. Overall, I landed on a solid 7/10 rating.

Moo Is Moot Latte Da Macadamia Milk: 10/10

This macadamia milk totally knocked it out of the park. On its own, it wasn’t entirely macadamia-like, plus it was considerably sweet for me, The Sweet Tooth Queen. Because of its sweetness, I don’t see this plant-based milk being extremely versatile to use across a range of recipes, but it most definitely works well in your A.M. drinks – most notably, coffee.

milkadamia’s pro-barista intentions for this milk translated perfectly into my numerous cups of joe – it did indeed make the coffee notes “sing” without overwhelming the brew. However, at 80 calories and 1 gram of protein per serving, I wasn’t utterly compelled by the nutritional value of this macadamia milk.

Beyond the delicious taste of their Latte Da milk, milkadamia champions regenerative farming practices to make their products in order to offset the global increase of Co2 and other harmful gasses that contribute to our ever-changing climate. Ethically, the company makes really strong points for the betterment of our planet, so I have to award their milk some points for that. 10/10 for moi – macadamias FTW.

: 6/10

The proposal of sesame milk always intrigued me. I’d never imagined what sesame would taste like by itself, let alone in liquid form. The only sesame-like milk choice at my local Whole Foods was this almond-sesame blend from Three Trees – a sleek bottle holding a suspicious gray milk inside.

This plant-based milk is noted as “clean without compromise,” meaning no harmful ingredients (such as gums, which companies add for creaminess) get in the way of their uncomplicated milk formula. Each serving carries 4 grams of plant protein in 140 calories, which is fairly ideal for protein prioritizers.

My first sip was sweet on the intake, but surprisingly savory on the aftertaste. The umami-adjacent notes admittedly threw me off, and even after taste testing it multiple times, I can’t say I’m a sesame milk believer. Perhaps this plant-based milk can’t compete with the others because it’s just so different – unproblematically staying in its own lane. I’m rating it a 6/10!

What plant-based milks have you tried? Let us know on Twitter! Sign up for our newsletter to see more food reviews!

Brit + Co. may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

Photos by Meredith Holser

Step aside, peppermint mocha! I’m here to disrupt everything you thought you knew about the seasonal bev. Hear me out: there are tons of different holiday drinks out there, and at this point, the classic pep moch is a bit expected. When you compare it to some of my personal favorites (like Starbucks’ Chestnut Praline Latte and a chai espresso martini), it just doesn’t hit as hard as it used to.

In honor of switching up your go-to seasonal sip, here are 9 holiday drinks that (in my humble opinion) rank higher than the peppermint mocha.

Starbucks

1. Chestnut Praline Latte (Starbucks)

To me, nutty flavors are especially holiday-like. For example, Starbucks' Chestnut Praline Latte packs a flavorful punch with not one, but two different nuts. It's deliciously sweet (but not overly so) and fittingly festive now that the coffee chain's serving their holiday drinks in red and green cups.

Raymond Ma Yi Rong / PEXELS

2. Orange Mocha

I recently tried an orange mocha for the first time, and I must say I'm hooked. While you may think of orange as more of a summer flavor, when you pair it with mocha sauce and a nice cinnamon-clove topping, it's totally winter-esque. If you still crave the chocolatey vibes of a peppermint mocha – but have been pepperminted out recently – give the orange mocha a try! Bonus points if you use dark chocolate for the mocha component.

Dunkin’

3. Cookie Butter Cold Brew (Dunkin’)

Next up is none other than the Cookie Butter Cold Brew from Dunkin'. This iced bev is part of their current holiday menu, and a single sip of it instantly transports me to the kitchen on Christmas Eve, where my fam is ferociously baking up Christmas cookies. It's also got notes of warm spices, which amp up the holiday vibes even more.

Starbucks

4. Sugar Cookie Latte (Starbucks)

As another massive holiday menu hit from Starbs, the Sugar Cookie Latte is (in my opinion!) immediately way more fun than a peppermint mocha because the top of the drink gets finished off with tiny red and green sugar sprinkles. You just can't be mad at cute sprinks.

Meredith Holser

5. Peppermint Matcha Latte

Peppermint syrup in a matcha latte is truly unmatched... a master barista move, if you ask me. The minty effect mixed with matcha's earthier notes is just too good. If you've never tried this combo before, now's your sign! Plus, I'd like to think this peppermint-y bev is a bit lighter than your average peppermint mocha since it's not loaded with chocolate or espresso, which, when consumed in conjunction, can really kickstart a crazy sugar rush.

Mixop

6. White Russian

I'd take a creamy cocktail over a peppermint mocha any day. Luckily, the traditional recipe for a White Russian includes coffee liqueur, so you can still get your fix of caffeine! I personally only really drink this around the holidays, and it's always been quite a warm welcome to the most wonderful time of the year.

Half Baked Harvest

7. Chai Espresso Martini

Espresso martinis are essentially season-less, but when you throw some chai into the recipe, they become so much more fit for the holidays. Just look at that festive star anise garnish!

Polina Kovaleva / PEXELS

8. Hot Toddy

Hot toddiesget me goin' way more than the thought of peppermint mochas do. They're super easy to make at home with just three ingredients, bourbon being the most important one. It's just the thing the doctor ordered, especially after being out in the cold winter weather.

Justina Huddleston

9. Mulled Wine

Mulled wine – in whatever wine iteration, red or white – is one of the most rewarding holiday drinks. You just let all the ingredients simmer for an hour or two, and anyone who likes mulled wine knows that the warm, fuzzy feeling of your first sip is truly unbeatable.

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I’ve triedtons of different food trends in my day. From dumping chili oil on ice cream to concocting my very own Sleepy Girl Mocktail, nothing I’ve eaten measures up to the sheer weirdness we saw go viral on social media this year (major side eye to Dua Lipa’s pickle Diet Coke).

These are the top 5 most ridiculous TikTok-viral food trends of 2024 that left us questioning whether they really should’ve gone viral in the first place.

@claudiaeatsgood chamoy pickles are so good😋😩❤️ @Bussin Snacks #chamoypickle#chamoy#chamoypicklekit#bussinsnacks#takis#fruitrollup#mukbang#asmr#asmrmukbang#chamoypicklemukbang#juicy#pickle#mexicancandy♬ original sound - Claudia💕

1. Chamoy Pickles

People couldn't quit it with the chamoy pickles (AKA chickles) this year. I never would've guessed that chamoy, a condiment made from dried fruits, chilies, sugar, and lime juice, would be slathered atop the sourest pickles money can buy.

But the food trend didn't stop at just chamoy – many snackers stuffed their pickles with everything from the likes of Hot Cheetos, Takis, and Fruit Roll-Ups. What?!

This insanely sour, tangy treat kickstarted what the internet's coined as the 'Red 40 Diet', which certainly cannot be medically advised.

If you care for your GI tract, this food trend is 100% worth skipping and leaving behind in 2024.

@dualipaofficial

What do we call her?

♬ original sound - Dua Lipa

2. Pickle + Jalapeño-Infused Diet Coke

Diet Coke, pickle juice, and jalapeño juice = all the ingredients needed to concoct Dua Lipa's controversial 2024 drink. She loves it, but I on the other hand, do not.

Now, don't get me wrong: I love a good unexpected flavor combo, but gulping down a simultaneous dose of both pickle juice and jalapeño juice was not tasty to me whatsoever.

This trend even sparked a slew of Sonic diners to start ordering their soft drinks with pickles – but as divisive as this trend can be ("Don’t knock it till you try it," TikToker Mississippi Memaw told Food and Wine), it's just flat out weird.

@logagm

New cucumber recipe 🚨

♬ original sound - Logan

3. Cucumber Salad

If you bought a mandolin slicer recently, you might as well admit you're a victim of the TikTok-viral cucumber salad trend that made its rounds this year.

"Sometimes you need to eat an entire cucumber," TikTok user @logagmsounds off in the intro of every single one of his cucumber salad videos. And thus, the food trend was born.

It felt like I couldn't go a day on TikTok without seeing at least 5 recipes for a damn cucumber salad. When it comes down to it, I can appreciate the novelty (and taste) of this trend, but not the oversaturation. I'm gonna eat an entire cucumber one day, and get so tired of it the next. New innovations in 2025, please!

@kylekruegerr Would you try these?😂 #foodreview#seagrapes#food#review#tastetest#weirdfood♬ original sound - Kyle Krueger

4. Sea Grapes

It was like people wanted to eat the weirdest, grossest things in 2024. I can't blame 'em, especially if it's for clicks and views. But this food trend in particular literally made me want to gag – and I was only watching people eat through a screen (any fellow ASMR fans out there?).

They don't look like they're supposed to be crunchy, but they are. Sea grapes grow from aquatic plants and are filled with essentially what is a "salty liquid." They burst in the mouth when you eat them (one TikToker called them 'edible Orbeez'). Yuck.

@julieta.asmr I figured it out!! Blooper at the end 🥴 #asmr#asmrcommunity#asmrtiktoks#asmrvideo#asmrsounds#asmreating#asmrfood#asmrfyp#asmrmukbang#mukbang#asmreatingsounds♬ original sound - Julieta ASMR 🍒

5. Exploding Candies

The final (and especially weird) food trend I propose we leave behind in 2024 is these dang exploding jelly candies. They also made their rounds on ASMR TikTok, and I truly cannot stand to watch a single video featuring them.

First off, they look so annoying to consume. The fruit-shaped jellies are contained in a thin layer of plastic that's meant to burst open when you sink your teeth into it, prompting you to slurp out the sweetness inside. But what irks me the most is the fact that many people trying them can't even break the seal.

I'd rather watch someone make a simple PB&J than go to town on these microplastic-infused candies.

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Holiday parties come with lots of delicious recipesand an excuse to wear your fanciest party dressand take part in gift giving. As fun as those aspects are, the drinks can be a difficult detail to work out. Even though not everyone wants to sip on a boozy drink, it's easy to feel left out if you don't have a pretty cocktail in-hand.

Well, you're in luck! These holiday mocktails are delicious, easy, and they actually look pretty so that whether you want to serve these to your guests or grab one for yourself, no one will feel excluded — not even the kids!

We gathered recipes from across the internet and on social media, and there's a good chance more than one of these holiday mocktails features ingredients that you already have in your kitchen, especially with your Thanksgiving leftovers.

Keep reading for our favorite holiday mocktails now that the season is in full swing. Cheers!

Brit + Co

Pamplemousse La Croix and Lavender Mocktail

Grapefruit tastes delicious in the winter, which makes this mocktail a great option for any holiday parties or girls' nights you have coming up. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Sunshine Juice

This Sunshine Juice is the perfect summer cool-down drink, but considering we don't get as much sun as we need in the winter, it also provides a healthy dose of vitamin C that will help you feel sunnier *and* boost your immune system. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Pomegranate White Tea Fizz

Swap the sparkling wine for sparkling grape juice to make this drink kid- and expectant mom-friendly. White tea pairs well with the pomegranate because of its full flavor, and it's unsweetened for those of us who don't like super sweet drinks. (via Brit + Co)

Two Spoons

Morning Metabolism Boost Drink

The lemon juice and apple cider vinegar add plenty of flavor to this sipper, but the ginger and cinnamon add some nice spice, too. (via Two Spoons)

The Endless Meal

Blood Orange Lemonade

This Blood Orange Lemonade combines oranges with lemonade (two of our favorite things) and is like the winter counterpart to the raspberry lemonade we love to make in the summer. (via The Endless Meal)

A Spicy Perspective

Preggy Punch Mocktail

Add a little bit of summer to your winter bashes with this Preggy Punch Mocktail, which mixes ginger and limeade with pineapple coconut juice. Jelly beans are optional, but could we get some extra cotton candy? (via A Spicy Perspective)

Half Baked Harvest

Vanilla Cinnamon Maple Whiskey Sour

The flavors in this Vanilla Cinnamon Maple Whiskey Sour are all of our favorite winter picks mixed into one. While this recipe originally calls for bourbon, Tieghan's mocktail variation swaps it for apple cider. (via Half Baked Harvest)

www.instagram.com

Non-Alcoholic Spiced Holiday Sangria

We'll drink sangria at just about any gathering, and we love to make it, too! It's a great option for parties because of how easy it is to set up. This booze-free version makes for a tasty punch that kids (and kids at heart) can equally enjoy.

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Dr. For Moms Center on Instagram: "Today’s mocktail is “The Grinch”, get it? 😅 • The benefits of matcha green tea are endless, matcha is often more beneficial than regular low grade green tea! • Give it a try and let us know what you think! • #holidaymocktails"

The Grinch

If The Grinch is a holiday movie that you have on repeat throughout the Christmas season, then this is one holiday mocktail you have to make. The green color comes from matcha powder, which has antioxidants as well as great flavor. It's a win-win.

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Pregnancy Dietitian on Instagram: "It's the little things! 🎄 With the holidays upon us, it's easy for pregnant mamas to feel a bit "left out." Food & cocktails galore, it's not always easy to get excited when you know you'll be tired, have sore feet, & can't exactly indulge in your favorite holiday alcohol. 🤰 But you CAN still have fun with it & be part of the romance. When I was pregnant I noticed that the simplest things made a world of a difference (I even drank water out of a wine glass :)). 😊 So what are you waiting for, grab your favorite cocktail glass & get crafting a mocktail! Using ginger ale, sparkling water, low sugar juice & a fun piece of decor & you're good to go ;) 👇 Do you have a go-to mocktail? . . . #pregnancynutrition #prenatalnutrition #momtobe #babybump #expectingmom #holidaymocktails #breastfeedingnutrition #prenataldietitian #pregnancyfood"

Semi-Sweet Cranberry Mocktail

This is another mocktail that's great for people who don't like super sweet drinks. Lay out different fruits and garnishes that your guests can add to their glasses, and you can also add some simple syrup to the table if any of your friends have a sweet tooth.

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CollegeChecklists on Instagram: "Ho ho ho! 🎅Make your Christmas morning merry and bright with a sparkling mocktail (or 3 😆). . . . . #collegechecklists #mocktail #holidaymocktail #christmasmorning #christmasmocktail #merryandbright #happyholidays2020 #sparklingmocktail #christmascheers"

Christmas Morning Sparkling Mocktail

You can't beat an orange and cranberry mix for the holiday season, and this holiday mocktail adds sparkling apple cider for a whole other layer of flavor that we can't get enough of. Rosemary and cranberries make the perfect garnishes, but we wouldn't say no to edible glitter.

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Chi Forest Global on Instagram: "🍓Srawberry Fizzy Soju🥰 Recipe • strawberry drink • fresh strawberry • soju @jinro_us • lychee flavor sparkling water @chiforest • Ice 🧊 ##100waystoenjoychiforest #chiforest #chirecipe #cocktail #cocktails #cocktailstime #cocktailsdaily #cocktailsbar #bartender  #cocktailstyle #cocktaillovers #cocktailhour #cocktailtime #cocktailart #cocktailoftheday #mixology #jinro #soju"

Strawberry Fizz

This drink is full of strawberry flavor, from the strawberry drinks to the cubes of real strawberry you can add right into the beverage. If you can't find lychee sparkling water (or don't want to buy two different drinks), swap the strawberry and sparkling water for strawberry soda. Nix the soju to make it fully N/A.

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Deborah Johnson 🇺🇸🇫🇷 on Instagram: "A toast to the Season! 🎄🥂 My Christmas Mocktail. Cranberry Juice and Apple cider, mix and add fresh fruit (sliced apples and cranberries). Serve in sugar-rimmed cocktail glass and garnish with sugared cranberries on a pick. So festive! Spike if you wish with vodka or bourbon. : : : #christmasmocktail #christmascocktails #mocktails #cocktails #tistheseason #holidaycheer #cranberries #applecider #cheers"

Cranberry + Apple Cider Mocktail

Covering your cranberries with sugar takes your holiday mocktail garnish up a notch. We love that it looks like they're covered in snow! Don't forget to add some sugar (ahem, snow) to your glass, too.

www.instagram.com

𝗖𝗮𝗿𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗮 𝗧𝘄𝗶𝗻 𝗖𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗲𝘀 on Instagram: "Mocktail time while Santa’s little helper stays up wrapping because the kids are home 24/7 these days. I’ve been thinking of breaking the news 🎅🏽 but someone I think is starting to figure things out; My wishful thinking hopes when they do find out that they will thank me for all of the magic I created instead of hating me for LYING. Lol but hey cheers to keeping the magic alive. 🍹 🎅🏽 • 1/4 can key lime @lacroixwater • 1/4 c orange juice • 1/2 lime Shaken Pour over 1/2c @sanpellegrino_official aranciata Rosa Garnish dried grapefruit voilà ✨ . . . . . #santaslittlehelper #christmaseveeve #mocktail #christmas #cheers #minnesotamom #mocktailrecipe #lacroix #sanpallegrino #drinks #winterwonderland #carissascolorfullife #ppaparazzimom #winterdays #momscreatechristmasmagic #christmasmagic #momissanta"

Lime La Croix Mocktail

Orange juice will give your drink that opaque look and (mixed with water and lime juice) a toned-down color. Add a dried grapefruit or orange slice to each glass for a sophisticated garnish.

www.tiktok.com

Let’s make my Apple Cider Spritz! This is hands down my favorite drink to make around the holidays! It’s a crowd favorite and always goes quick! You have to make this! ✨ #mocktailgirlie #mocktails #mocktailrecipe #holidayrecipe

Apple Cider Spritz

Sparkling apple cider tastes delicious when paired with cranberries, rosemary, and cinnamon. It's a good thing this recipe makes a whole batch, because we will definitely be drinking the whole thing.

www.tiktok.com

#ad Rudolph's Holiday Mocktail using Rose's grenadine 🎄 #foundatwalmart #holidaydrinks #holidays #tiktokdrinks

Rudolph's Holiday Mocktail

If you love Shirley Temples, then you'll love Rudolph's Holiday Mocktail. Add orange juice and cranberry juice to your usual mix of grenadine and ginger ale for multiple flavors and a sweet and tart mix that will become a Christmas party staple.

www.tiktok.com

#ad Smoked Rosemary Lemon Ginger Mocktail with Pomegranate Garnish featuring @kevitadrinks . Refreshing, delicious – perfect for the holiday season

Smoked Rosemary Lemon Ginger Mocktail

Light your rosemary on fire (trust us) and let it smoke under the glass so that your whole drink is infused with that smoky, herbal taste and smell. It'll engage all your senses and honestly it just looks really cool.

www.tiktok.com

another holiday mocktail to add to your list 🫶🏼 words by @Elizabeth #mocktailrecipe #applecidermargarita #sobercurious #damplifestyle #sober


N/A Apple Cider Margarita

Change out your usual sugar rim for cinnamon for a spicy edge to your drinks. It'll set them apart and help you cut down on your sugar intake.

www.tiktok.com

This drink is as festive as it is tasty. Make this flavorful mocktail at home and earn honey gold at select stores when you shop with Honey!

New Year's Ball Drop Mocktail

We are absolutely obsessed with this cotton candy and edible glitter technique and we will be trying it at all our holiday parties for the foreseeable future.

www.tiktok.com

#ad Use Rose’s Simple Syrup #foundatwalmart to make this delicious holiday mocktail!!

Cranberry Apple Holiday Mocktail

Simple syrup offsets the tart flavor of cranberry juice, but with the sparkling apple cider, the drink doesn't taste too heavy. You can't forget the apples and sugared cranberry garnish!

www.tiktok.com

Let’s make a mocktail 🍹 #mocktails #homecafe #newyearseve #newyears


Fruity Ice Cube Mocktail

Fruity ice cubes (learn how to make 'em here) will take the look of your drinks to the next level while also adding another fun element to the flavor of your drinks. We'll take two, please.

Tag us with your holiday mocktails on Instagram and check out our email newsletter for the latest party + celebration trends!

This post has been updated.

First loves are TOUGH — especially when you start to see all the red flags you missed along the way once it's over. If you've been dissecting your own early love stories by reading Reddit threads or chatting with your girlfriends about their own relationship experiences, just know this: you're not alone! The entire Brit + Co staff even found ourselves discussing the first person we ever fell in love with...and the recounts did not disappoint. From realizing 19 seemed to be a common age for our all-time worst relationships to understanding how our first love was probably not as ideal as we originally thought, it made us wonder why we couldn't pinpoint red flags back then.

Licensed Psychotherapist Prerna Menon, founder of Boundless, LCSW-PLLC and Licensed marriage and family therapist Joseph Cavins, LMFT have a few thoughts that have helped us decode the precarious time in our lives.

Here's why some of us ignored how awful our first love might've been

1. We thought our first love was perfect and would argue with anyone who wanted us to take things slow with them.

Savannah Dematteo

I'll never forget the first time I fell in love at 19. I thought my ex was the "wind beneath my wings" because he had a great sense of humor and was creative like me. I told myself he was the person I was going to marry so I was offended when my parents didn't think he was mature enough to be in a serious relationship. If this sounds familiar, pull up a chair because Menon explains why we tend to idealize our first love.

"Your first love is your first experience with romantic love too, hence you typically see it with rose-colored glasses. The overwhelming emotion is often infatuation, which tends to overshadow the more critical and analytical part of our brain," she says. Sadly, this sounds like something my parents told me before but I couldn't fathom how true it was as a teen.

As the Clinical Director at Southern California Sunrise Recovery Center, Cavins has seen this play out before too. He says, "In your first relationship, there is a tendency to put your partner on a pedestal. The excitement of new love can create a powerful emotional fog that makes it hard to see flaws clearly."

Essentially, this "excitement of having a boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner supersedes" our ability to questions things we normally wouldn't put up with, according to Menon.

2. We tried to ignore the how many times our first loves disagreed with our values or goals.

Keira Burton

While some couples are able to make their relationship work despite having a different outlook on life, sometimes it can be a sign that things aren't going to work long-term. Cavins says, "One major red flag is disregarding differences in values or goals for the future. For instance, you wish to become a parent someday while your spouse swears this will never happen— or vice versa. Early on, you might dismiss these differences, believing love will conquer all. However, these mismatched priorities can lead to resentment and challenges over time."

Honestly, I probably should've ran whenever my ex would mock my belief in God only for us to have to attend his mother and stepfather's church whenever I visited. There was so much confusion there, but I tried to dismiss it as something he needed time to work out.

Menon adds, "If this relationship makes you feel like you'e standing in quick sand - where you are trying to move forward but often feel held back in your individual aspirations, it may not be the right fit for you."

3. We thought it was 'cute' when our first loves made suggestions about which friends to avoid or what clothes to wear.

Luis Zambrano

Cavins says, "Excessively possessive behaviors are another red flag that people often ignore easily when they fall in love for the first time. People tend to justify such behaviors by citing that it's due to love or protective instincts." I'm all for being in a relationship where your partner's able to see different sides of a picture, but controlling behavior shouldn't come with that. What might that look like?

Cavins says, "Your partner may frequently check in on you, offer opinions on who you should spend time with, or subtly pressure you into making choices that suit them." For example, your partner could start off making suggestions about your style that slowly morph into them controlling everything you wear. Somehow I went from being a self-professed 'girly-girl' to trying to emulate the style of 'sneakerheads' in a short amount of time. Though I love wearing everything from New Balance to Niké sneakers now, it's in a way that feels cohesive with my style.

You may have brushed this kind of behavior off because, again, you thought it meant your first love wanted the best for you. "It is understandable that such behavior hypothetically may come off as pleasant or affirming; however, they often signal an unhealthy dynamic of control rather than mutual respect," says

4. We always gave in when our first loves forced us to be affectionate.

Adely

*Sigh* I'm shaking my head for my younger self because there were many times I didn't advocate for myself in my first romantic relationship. I'd often give in to affectionate or intimate moments despite wanting personal space so I wouldn't be seen as 'boring' or uninterested in my ex. Menon says, "Given the infatuation, your first relationship can feel all-consuming and often is codependent. Hence, this may result in you overlooking that your partner does not respect your boundaries or desire for personal space."

Partly because the excitement of the relationship makes you want to spend all of your time together, until you don't. And then, it is often too late to correct a maladaptive historical pattern.

4. We always made excuses for why our partners would shower us with affection only to ignore us days later.

Pavel Danilyuk

Let's be clear, 'love bombing' feels confusing and awful. No one should make you feel like you're the center of their universe only to ignore your calls or texts days later. But, this probably happened while you were with your first love. Cavins says, "There's a tendency for people to brush off their first love's emotional unavailability. When, for example, a partner is not responsive and not engaging in intimate discussions or does not express their feelings, some may rationalize this as them being 'just not ready.'" If that were the case, this person wouldn't have made you feel like being with you is something they truly wanted.

Of that, Cavins believes "it's important to recognize these behaviors early" because "they can result in a one-side emotional investment that leaves one party feeling unfulfilled in the long run." Sadly, my first love would have days where he was super sweet to me only to feel like I was smothering him with attention. This is also the same person who begged me to remain in our romantic relationship when he went to basic training although I felt it would be better if we chose to be friends. Imagine my surprise (and hurt) when he told me we should have an open relationship months after getting stationed for the first time.

I should've known better because he was never 100% on board with the idea of marriage until after he graduated from basic training. Cavins calls this "emotional disconnectedness." His further explanation is this is "when the initial chemistry between the partners subsides that emotional attachment matters." To avoid this, he feels "identifying and addressing any of these is critical in a case where you are looking to create a strong and healthy bond."

5. We ignored the ways our former partner blamed us whenever they got in trouble with their parents or an authority figure.

Ketut Subiyanto

Did your first love have a hard time taking responsibility for things that went wrong by gaslighting you to absorb the blow of their mistakes? If you've furiously nodding, we should start a support group. Cavins says, "A key sign is a lack of personal or relational growth. Healthy relationships encourage mutual development, but if one partner stays stuck in old patterns while the other grows, it can create frustration and distance."

At no point should you be the reason why your first love got in trouble after answering their parents' house phone late at night after telling you to call at a certain time. It's situations like this that should've alerted us to awful behavior, but I can see how easy it is to dismiss things.

What if I'm in love for the first time and recognize these signs?

Andrea Piacquadio

First, my heart goes out to you for being in a relationship that doesn't feel healthy. It hurts when we realize the person we thought was so great is anything but. The road to letting go of idealization may be long, but you can and will get better. Cavins says, "In the process of self-healing and recovery, the first step that must be taken is self-reflection. Ask yourself all of the necessary questions that arise, such as what this relationship means for you, what your boundaries are, and what this partnership has revealed about you as an individual."

I keep saying this, but relying on journal prompts can help you unpack a lot of things and, thankfully, Cavins agrees. He says, "You could always opt to talk to a specialist or being journaling in order to find some closure and draw meaning from the experience." Also, he wants you to start "making new memories." But, don't be passive about it.

"You will have to engage yourself in activities that will help redirect the focus of your thoughts. This could include joining a new class, engaging in a hobby, or traveling that involves some independence. These experiences can help shift your mindset from loss to growth and reinforce your identity outside of the relationship," says Cavins.

Another important thing you can do is "solicit help from others," according to him. "Calling on people you trust, like friends and family, to talk about these feelings can significantly help in healing," he says. This also helped me navigate life outside of my first real romantic relationship, reminding me that I still had a lot of love in my life that didn't begin or end with my ex.

Here are Menon's tips:

  • Let yourself grieve — Let this loss run its course. If you need to feel angry, sad, distraught, nostalgic. Allow yourself the full breadth of this experience. If I ask you right now "don't think a out a yellow monkey", I can bet you just thought of a yellow monkey. We call this "the imp of the mind". When you reject feelings, or thoughts, they come back 10 times more fiercely. To move the feeling along, we must let ourselves experience it.
  • Rediscover your identity (So important) — Your first love is often intertwined with self-discovery, and identity formation. Reconsider your goals, interests, values, friendships and hobbies and try to build your own sense of identity and individuality.

Anastasia Nagibina

I saw my first love again and it feels like we're falling in love all over. Can we have a happy and healthy relationship?

I'm not going to tell you to run even though I told my ex I never wanted to speak or talk to him again. You could easily reconnect with the first person you fell in love with and realize that you're both in a place where you can have something beautiful. However, Cavins and Menon want you to be mindful if you're in this position.

"Reconnection is possible," begins Menon, "if both parties can objectively claim that they have grown emotionally and resolved the issues that held their relationship back." But, "if the reconnection is built on one person growing and the other not, it is likely to fail," she alerts. You'll need to "proceed with caution," she says because "your first love was a nostalgic era in your life that can cloud your judgement." To put it more clearly, she doesn't want you confuse "the fuzzies" with a "true knowing that the two of you can make it work."

Cavins says, "Reconnecting with a first love can trigger a strong wave of emotions, but it is important that such a decision is made with caution and a strong sense of pragmatism. Personal growth is a primary factor. Each party in the relationship must ask themselves how they have grown and evolved as individuals over time. If past patterns of conflict, immaturity, or unhealthy dynamics remain unaddressed, the same issues could resurface."

He wants you to consider these things:

  • Are there any active relationships or past engagements that would make it rather difficult? That's because the feelings that come with reigniting old flames are very strong and can alter a person’s life, making it essential to start thinking from all angles before going ahead with it.
  • Address previous challenges that caused the breakup in the first place. If the reasons behind the breakup have been resolved or do not exist anymore, then yes, meeting again has its prospects. However, keep in mind that, at times, memories can be selective and unfavorably distort the truth by overplaying the good qualities while avoiding the negative ones.
  • Only rekindle things if both individuals are in a healthy emotional state and the decision is grounded in practical, mutual considerations—not just sentimentality or romanticized memories. Clear and honest discussions and an understanding of purpose are vital in ascertaining if rekindling the relationship will be worthwhile for both parties or if it will simply be an act of revisiting unresolved emotions.

Menon's final piece of advice is similar in that she encourages you to be "self-critical, self-aware, and self-nourishing." She doesn't want you to be afraid to be "clear and transparent about your expectations for the relationship" either. Though we weren't a fan of the outcomes of our first real romantic relationships, they've made us wiser. So, shout out to our first loves for being the worst because they've become our best learning lessons.

That's not all! We have even more helpful articles about relationships & family if you're looking for everything from celebrity couples to navigating hard conversations during the holidays.

No matter how many times I rewatch The Vampire Diaries, there's nothing like seeing a cast reunion — and the weekend of December 6, we finally got to see our three favorite Mystic Falls gals together again! Nina Dobrev, Kat Graham, and Candice King were just some of The Vampire Diaries cast members who reunited for Epic Con to chat all things Elena, Bonnie, and Caroline...but things took a turn in the middle of the interview when one of the backdrops almost fell on Nina!

Keep reading to see what happened during The Vampire Diaries cast reunion with Nina Dobrev, Kat Graham, and Candice King.

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Even after all these years, Bonnie and Caroline are still saving Elena #tvd #thevampirediaries #ninadobrev #candiceking #katgraham #elanagilbert #carolineforbes #bonniebennett #epiccons

As someone who's done plenty of interviews myself, I know how fast a situation can spiral — and this interview accident is crazy. While talking on stage about the show, one of the backdrops begins to lean forward, and right before it falls on top of Nina, Candice and Kat quickly move to push it in the opposite direction.

"I don't want to see any 'Bonnie saves the day' memes," Kat jokes, referencing the fandom's love for Bonnie consistently helping the group throughout the show's eight-season run. "I don't want to see it, I don't want to hear it!" You can also see a relieved Nina hug Candice before revealing she thought it was a spider!

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In addition to this "Bonnie saves the day" moment (sorry, Kat, I couldn't help it!), the internet went crazy when Nina posted a video of her, Candice, and Kat recreating a photo they took during season 1 — especially after rumors have circulated for years that Kat Graham was mistreated on The Vampire Diaries set.

While these rumors have never been outright confirmed, fans have paid very special attention to what Kat has said...especially when she confirmedshe was the lowest-paid cast member and cried over her natural hair after revealing she wasn't really allowed to have an afro while filming.

"Love you girls so much!!!!!! 🥹❤️❤️❤️❤️" Kat commented on Nina's post, while a fan added, "And now the rumors can definitely be ended 🫶🏼❤️." These women are so powerful and clearly love each other so much, and I will take any and every cast reunion we can get!

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When Brit + Co caught up with Ian Somerhalder, he also expressed how much he loved filming The Vampire Diaries. "Every single day it was a laugh," he says. "I mean we had to be serious, you're running from ghosts and vampires and stuff, and you know, someone makes a fart joke and a 130 people erupt in laughter, there's only so much you can run for your life."

And thank goodness, Ian confirms just how much fun the cast had! "We laughed, that's how we kept each other sane," he says. "I spent 8 years on the show and now it's [been] 15 years. It's my longest relationship."

"I cannot believe it's been 15 years," he continues. "And so everyone who's seen the show, watched the show, supported us — and me — in any way, shape, and form regarding the show, I thank you from the bottom of my heart."

What would your dream The Vampire Diaries reunion look like? Let us know on Facebook!