Social media is full of trends that come and go — think loud budgeting or sleepmaxxing — but I have a feeling one may grow legs beyond TikTok or Instagram: the 4B Movement. TBH, it doesn't feel right to call it a 'trend' because its origins are rooted in something much deeper than saying or doing something controversial for likes.
If you're not familiar with this movement and are curious about it, we're going to take a deep dive into where it originated, it's purpose, and why women in the U.S. have started to abide by its principles. To understand the 4B Movement's sustainability and potential benefits, I spoke with Somatic Trauma Therapist and Founder of Freshwater Counseling & Consulting, Blessing Uchendu; Sex and Relationships Coach Leah Carey, host of the Good Girls Talk About Sex podcast; and Senior Statistician and Addictions Researcher at UCLA Nicole Prause
According to The Washington Post, this is a "radical Korean feminist movement that swears off men to reclaim a sense of agency." It sounds similar to abstinence, but the trickle down effects are vastly different. Abstinence is taking a step back from anything that usually taps into your pleasure center — and that doesn't always mean sex. However, the 4B Movement is specifically rooted in 'de-centering men' completely.
CBSstates that researchers Jieun Lee and Euisol Jeong wrote a paper for Yonsei University about the movement, and deciphered that the "B" has four meanings:
In 2016, Hankyoreh reported that a man in his 30's chose to stab an unknown young woman in Seoul, Korea. When asked why he committed the crime, he gave this answer: "I did it because women have always ignored me." In response to the random attack, Hong Seong-su, a law professor at Sookmyung Women’s University, share a chilling message that the outlet recounted in the article. "The fact that [Kim] chose ‘some woman’ [as opposed to ‘some person’] as the target for his crime suggests it is not going too far to view this as a crime of hate against women."
This radical moment was an inception point for the movement overall, started in opposition to this gender-based violence, as well as gender-based discrimination as a whole. The Korean Herald noted that factors like pay inequality and a Donald Trump-like president of their own (Yoon Suk-yeol) were driving forces in 4B. Since his election in 2022, Yoon Suk-yeol has "promised to abolish the Ministry of Gender Equality and Family, which has been popular with his anti-feminist base," (via Korean Herald). Between all this and the global sensation of #MeToo, the 4B Movement gained major momentum throughout the last eight years.
According to The Korean Herald, over 150 elementary schools aren't seeing first-graders walk through their doors and it has everything to do with the falling birth rate in South Korea. CNN reports that officials are so concerned, they're willing to do something to combat it. President Yoon Suk Yeol said, "We will mobilize all of the nation’s capabilities to overcome the low birth rate, which can be considered a national emergency."
But, this isn't the first time the birth rate has been addressed. Another CNN article reported that South Korea dished out $200 billion to "boost the population over the past 16 years." Still, things haven't worked in the government's favor. It's evident less women are having children and it seems to directly stem from women upholding the ideology they're not allowing their bodies to be used for motherhood anymore.
After the shocking results of the 2024 presidential election, many women began to rethink how they relate to the men in their lives, finding South Korea's 4B Movement in the process. Based on the current rhetoric about women who don't have children and the restrictive anti-abortion laws with hardly any policies in place to reduce the maternal mortality rate, it's understandable why some women are fearful or fed up — and why many women are now finding parallels to what sparked 4B in the first place.
When you see people like Nicholas J. Fuentes tweeting things like "Your body, my choice. Forever," on the same day Trump won a second term as president, it can leave a sickening taste in one's mouth. One user's response to this was, "Funny how the loudest champions of 'freedom' are often the first to undermine it for everyone else."
Alongside this are men's social movements that are clearly intertwined with the current political climate, too. While obviously not all men believe in these ideologies, there's been a stark rise in their prevalence.
In 2020, ADL reported about the mindset of "Incels" and discovered that they feel emboldened by the 'manosphere.' So, what do they tend to believe? According to outlet, there's a belief "that the current sexual 'marketplace' gives women too much freedom to choose their own partners." Not only that, but the outlet says Incels tend to think women choose to ignore men unless they look a certain way or have a certain status, "leaving the remaining 80 percent of men (including incels) without a potential partner."
Nicole Prause, a UCLA Statistician and Academic, is well-versed in abstinence movements, and what they ultimately indicate based on statistics. "There are a number of similar men's movements already, especially Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW)," she says. According to her, MGTOW don't pursue marriage or relationships with women, but "seek sex when it is on their 'terms.'" She says, "They're often viewing it as a battle pitting sexes against one another. These movements tend to be separatist, often evolving into misogyny and violent speech, such as glorifying sexual coercion and rape."
As a result of these growing men's movements and the incoming 47th President of the United States — a convicted felon with multiple allegations of sexual assault — there have been growing calls from women on social media to consider the 4B Movement for themselves. X user @jungsooyawning wrote, "american women it's time to learn from the koreans and adopt the 4b movement as a matter of fact women from all over the world should adopt the 4b movement i'm so serious," on the platform.
Freelance writer Daria Yasmiene also wrote about about why she's taking part in the movement for POPSUGAR. She said, "As a Black woman who has lived through three back-to-back elections with Trump as a focal point, I'm so far beyond tired that I need a lifestyle change." Ultimately, she wants to continue having the freedom to choose to live her life in a way that's not solely governed by men.
"With the little autonomy that I have left, I would rather be alone and safe from the consequences of male influence in my life than lie next to someone who doesn't see me as an equal. We deserve so much more than that."
Meanwhile, Sex and Relationships Coach, Leah Carey says that 4B "makes sense as a response to realizing that a majority of men valued the economy over a woman's right to self-determination." Depending on where you stand, she also says that it can be "seen as 'punishment' for men" or "as a choice of self-determination and self-protection for women." Somatic Trauma Therapist, Blessing Uchendu shares Carey's sentiments in that the movement is "a response to patriarchy and the centering of men and conversely the objectification of women, with the expectation that they fulfill roles as wives and mothers."
So with all that in mind, is a movement like 4B beneficial? And is it even sustainable? I'm not going to tell you that you should or shouldn't join the 4B Movement because it's a personal decision. It's always wise to examine where you are in life instead of relying on social media, news outlets, or even the government to determine what you're going to believe. Still, there may be some benefits to the 4B Movement that outweigh any potential fallouts.
Carey says that "not being refused care for reproductive matters" is a potential benefit of 4B, while also highlighting that "the mental health benefits can also be huge for people who deal with anxiety, depression, or anything else that might cause emotional hardship in the current climate."
This could also lead to women identifying and honoring their true desires instead of following society's scripts about who they should be. Somatic Trauma Therapist, Blessing Uchendu believes that 4B is about women de-centering men and re-centering themselves — about "being the 'stars of their own stories,' rather than supporting characters in a malde-dominated narrative." Uchendu says. "It can be incredibly empowering to step away from systems that have felt compulsory in order to reflect on whether you are making decisions centered on yourself and your desires or whether these decisions are centered on the expectations of the society around you."
The most important thing Carey wants to note is that women aren't unable to find love and joy ever again by participating in the 4B movement. "Just because a woman chooses not to date, have sex, get married, or have kids with a man doesn't mean she can't do those things: with other women. it's more and more common for adult women to explore their same-sex attractions after divorce or widowhood," she notes. "With a generation of young women growing up with the understanding that heterosexuality is not the only option, we may see a wave of younger women also exploring in this arena (in addition to all the younger women who already know themselves to be queer)."
I would also say that you can always go back to dating and engaging with men whenever you want — this movement doesn't have to be a permanent choice if you don't want it to be. The whole point is to take charge and embrace your own sense of agency.
Yet, Prause does pause to mention the downside to "separatist movements." She explains that without support from men, women could struggle financially given pay disparities and other gender-based work inequities. Still, she says this doesn't really affect much if women have been figuring things out for themselves with little help from men.
Ultimately Uchendu says women having the freedom to exist without the weight of society's patriarchal standards on their shoulders is the "ultimate freedom." She says, "In the words of Audre Lorde 'If I did not define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and be eaten alive."
No woman should have to live in fear of having violence committed against her, but history continues repeating itself in terms of how society treats our bodies. "When a woman's right to make choices about her own body and health care are removed, she may decide to not put herself in a position where pregnancy can become an option," Carey says.
Prause chimes in with, "On average, women are more likely to experience mental health declines with marriage to a man (the opposite is true for men). While men also can experience domestic violence and sexual assault, the risks are exceptionally higher for women." Not only that, but she also points out that "women risk unwanted pregnancy, from which they now have fewer healthcare rights to address" and "are at much higher risk for sexually transmitted infections, even from their regular romantic partner."
As if that weren't a slap in the fact, Prause mentions that "childcare continues to fall disproportionately on women and does cause less income for women over time."
So, at the end of the day, I can't tell you what the right choice is, but I do know that patriarchy's long-lasting fixture in society has harmed everyone. From men who think women owe them something to women who believe they're not worth anything unless they're married or mothers, there's a lot to unpack.
What I do know is that no one should have the right to control the personal lives of other people nor should they try to make their personal beliefs and religious ideologies into laws that govern people who will be around long after they're not.
No matter where you stand on the matter, hatred and violence should never be tolerated or praised. Remember to take care of yourself by diving into more self-care stories we have on-site.
There are so many items cluttering up our homes and lives, and if we're honest, sometimes asking for physical gifts feels like an unnecessary weight to add to the holiday season. All we really need this year is time with the people that our closest to us, and maybe the opportunity to experience something new.
If you're looking for out-of-the-ordinary gift ideas for your friends and family, look no further than these experience gifts. From one-of-a-kind adventures to super easy ideas that will fit into any budget, these experience gifts are sure to make anyone smile.
Brit + Co
Ice skating simply makes winter more magical. It also gives us a chance to live out our Ice Princess dreams – but that's beside the point. Even if you don't live somewhere that has an iconic rink like New York City's Rockefeller Center, you can still make it a whole evening with hot chocolate and cozy sweaters.
Take your best friend or S.O. to their favorite artist's concert for an unforgettable evening. Not only do you get to hear some awesome music, but concerts are always an excuse to get dressed up in a crazy outfit and dance like no one is watching.
Something about walking around and looking at animals under the sea makes us feel extra calm, and is great for anyone who wanted to be a mermaid as a kid. Our favorites? Otters, beluga whales, and turtles, but we love regular old fish tanks, too. This is a great way to get a taste of summer while it's dang cold outside!
If your giftee loves to learn, then they'll get a kick out of a subscription to our online classes. There's something for every stage of life, with classes like painting and freelancing to learning how to combat imposter syndrome.
This is one experience gift that is super easy and super affordable to pull off. You can hike in every state in the country (granted, your hikes might look different in the mountains than in a coastal town), plus you can pack a picnic of their favorite foods or grab takeout from their favorite local restaurant.
Speaking of picnics, they're on our list of favorite date ideas *and* an ideal way to spend any day. You can hire a picnic service (like this one for NY) to set up your table before you get there, but you can also go all-out yourself by packing a basket with their favorite foods, drinks, books, and flowers. If it's too cold (or it's pouring out!), set up your picnic indoors among some candles and a nostalgic movie.
Travel is an experience gift that will rarely disappoint, especially if you're going to a dream destination. There are so many locations all over the world — big cities like London, historical homes like Biltmore, and even filming locations from your favorite TV shows and movies — this is always a good idea. You can also book AirBnB experiences of all kinds for wherever you choose to stay.
With programs like Duolingo and Rosetta Stone, gaining access to other languages is easier than ever right now. It's never too late to pick up something new, whether or not you're living your Emily in Paris dreams. Bon voyage!
See the world from a totally new perspective by going up in a hot air balloon. You can take them at different times of day depending on the view that your giftee loves the most (we're always up for a sunrise adventure), and you can even book one that comes with wine.
This experience gift idea is totally up to interpretation. Whether your best friend or S.O. wants to be a model for a day with fun props and outfits, or your mom has been asking for a family photoshoot for the last few years, this is the perfect opportunity to gift a photoshoot! You can also turn this experience gift idea on its head and gift your family and friends a photography classthey can do from their home.
If your sibling, best friend, or S.O. loves books, take them to their favorite bookstore, buy them a coffee, and let them peruse the shelves for one (or more!) books that they want to get their hands on. This is a super simple idea that will certainly make them smile.
If you've never taken a cooking or baking class before, then it's definitely time to add that to your list. Not only is it a fun activity that also rewards you with food, but it makes for a great experience gift, especially for recipients who love spending time in the kitchen.
Rent your own sailing cruise for the evening to get a dining experience that's unlike any other. Eat dinner at sunset or wait until mid-morning for an extra-fun brunch. In addition to a gift idea, this also makes a great date idea. That's a win-win in our book.
Take your giftee to their favorite museum, and spend an entire day looking at their favorite paintings and sculptures, or reading up on scientific discoveries. This is one gift idea that's great for all ages, and since there are so many different museums across the country, you can have a different experience every time.
We're big fans of escape rooms, and we're convinced they're fun for anyone who wants to be a spy for an afternoon. It's great for a couple of people or for a whole group of friends, so you can get all your favorite people in on it. Plus not only is it fun, but having a time limit to solve a problem teach you about your communication styles very quickly.
Take the wine lovers in your life to a nearby vineyard to experience the wine up close and personal with a wine tour. This is a great way to try multiple wines so you can figure out which one is your favorite.
Great for adrenaline junkies and adventure seekers, this experience gift idea takes you right up into the air. Learn to fly a plane or a helicopter over landscapes that you don't usually get to see from the air.
Let us know which experience gifts you'll be giving this year on Twitter and check out our email newsletter for more ideas.
This post has been updated with additional reporting by Meredith Holser.
Did you know how common eczema really is? According to the National Eczema Association, "more than 31 million people" are living with this condition — including everyone in my household. If you've been dealing with flare-ups since childhood, you know how irksome it can be to find products that avoid flagging down our body's internal inflammation guide. Anything from extreme temperatures to itchy fabric can make our bodies say, "Attack the part of the body that's in contact with the intruder!" It can be something super small that turns into a fiasco, but we're not condemned to suffer forever.
I've been using the best body wash for eczema all year — Dove's Soothing Relief Body Wash — and I can't wait to dish about it! But, I thought it would be helpful to learn more about the condition and why certain things make it go haywire. Board-certified dermatologists Dr. Heather Woolery-Lloyd and Dr. Kristina Collins were kind enough to share informative answers about eczema, including what they think you should be using if you're tired of not knowing what to use!
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This fragrance-free body wash stays in my shower not only because it's doesn't have pesky (and irritating) perfumes, but it's also super soothing. I feel like I'm at a spa each time I use it, and I've definitely noticed my skin isn't dry when I get out of the shower. It has a 5% nourishing serum in it along with colloidal oatmeal and was co-created by dermatologists who get it. The best part is that it not only does my skin look better, but I haven't experienced much body acne with it either. Plus, Amazon's customers less likely to return it!
Prior to using this, I was an avid Bath & Body Works body wash user. Before you throw tomatoes at me, I didn't know how much they were affecting my skin until I started doing more research in college. Once I learned better, I stopped using them and haven't looked back.
Another alternative to this is something Dr. Woolery-Lloyd suggests using — Dove's Sensitive Skin Body Wash. I used to use it prior to falling in love with Soothing Relief formula because it's hypoallergenic and equally moisturizing. It's just a little creamier!
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Some of the top reviews on Amazon for this body wash are:
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Dr. Woolery-Lloyd and Dr. Collins both recommend this body wash for those who have eczema: "It's free of dyes, fragrance, lanolin, and other common irritants.This product helps maintain moisture and reduce irritation, making it suitable for regular use," says Dr. Collins.
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Dr. Collins loves Aveeno's Skin Relief Body Wash because it "contains colloidal oatmeal, which is soothing and helps relieve itching."
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"It's soap-free, fragrance-free, and designed for sensitive skin," says Dr. Collins.
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This body wash has more of an oil consistency because of the Omega Oils found in it. They help to add moisture back to dry skin while Niacinamide helps soothe it if you've been experiencing irritation.
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This hydrating body wash may start off as an oil, but it quickly forms into a rich, moisturizing lather that we love. Although it's not specifically designed for eczema-prone skin, but the good news is that it works for everyone. It has over 50% glycerin and phyto lipids in to help "maintain healthy skin barrier and acid mantle" so you'll enjoy something luxurious for only $16!
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This hydrating body wash has moisturizing coconut water and sea kelp in it, making it the vegan option you'll be glad you tried. It also has aloe vera juice in it which helps maintain the skin's collagen.
Eczema isn't necessarily a secret, but not everyone knows how it's actually defined or characterized. Both Dr. Woolery-Lloyd and Dr. Collins agree that eczema is also referred to as atopic dermatitis. Dr. Collins says, "It's a chronic skin condition characterized by inflamed, itchy, and often red or discolored patches on the skin. It can affect people of all ages but is commonly seen in children." The Asthma & Allergy Network reports "15-20% of children globally" have it which seems to coincide with the CDC discovering "nearly 1 in 5 children have a seasonal allergy." Dr. Woolery-Lloyd adds, "It tends to run in families." This makes sense because my mom had eczema, passed it on to me, and now my son has it!
She also says, "People with mild eczema may experience persistent dryness and itchiness, while more severe cases can lead to painful, cracked, and even bleeding skin." While it's not central to one location, Dr. Woolery-Lloyd says eczema commonly shows up "inside of the elbows, behind the knees, and the face."
Some cases of eczema differs from others, but it can become severe. The reason it exists in the body is because of "a dysfunction in the skin barrier" that leads to "an increased loss of moisture and heightened sensitivity to external irritants, allergens, and microbes," Dr. Collins expounds.
I briefly mentioned some things that can trigger eczema flare-ups, but they're not all encompassing. Dr. Collins says, "Eczema flare-ups can be triggered by several factors, including environmental irritants (like certain fabrics, soaps, and fragrances), allergens (such as dust mites, pet dander, and pollen), stress, dry or cold weather, and even certain foods in some individuals."
If your dermatologist suspects you may be allergic to something you're eating, they may want you to take an allergy test. This is how I found out I was allergic to a ton of environmental factors, cats, and dogs! But why does this happen, you ask? "The skin’s barrier function is compromised in eczema-prone individuals, making it more reactive to these external and internal triggers," says Dr. Collins. So, it's rarely your fault when your skin gets triggered!
Dr. Woolery-Lloyd also says "emotional stress can exacerbate eczema symptoms" as well! This is usually my first sign that I'm super stressed or heading towards burnout!
My son has been seeing a dermatologist for the past couple of months, and she's made it clear that he needs to not only avoid certain factors (fragrances, itchy fabrics, etc), but she also let us know his skin actually requires we add other elements to his routine, too. Both Dr. Collins and Dr. Woolery-Lloyd want you to stay as moisturized as possible.
Dr. Collins says, "During cooler months, it’s essential to focus on hydrating and protecting the skin barrier." Her tips are to"
Over the years, I've learned that anything that has artificial fragrances in them tends to trigger itchy and splotchy hives. Sometimes they're tiny clusters, but they can look like welts if my skin is super irritated. Dr. Collins says, "Individuals with eczema should avoid products with harsh fragrances, alcohol, sulfates, and synthetic dyes, as these can irritate the skin further." Also, sodium lauryl suflate (SLS) is also good to avoid because it "can strip the skin of its natural oils, exacerbating dryness," explains Dr. Collins. Sadly, she feels you shouldn't use popular "exfoliating ingredients" like salicylic acid or retinoids because they "can be too harsh for sensitive, eczema-prone skin."
A list of other things Dr. Woolery-Lloyd wants you to avoid are:
She encourages you to "read product labels carefully."
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Knowing this, both Dr. Collins and Dr. Woolery-Lloyd want you to use a body wash that's going to cleanse your skin instead of hurting it. "For eczema-prone skin, it’s best to choose gentle, fragrance-free body washes that are formulated to support the skin barrier," says Dr. Collins.
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With the holidays now approaching almost eerily quickly, you might already be feeling slightly uneasy about the family stresses that are bound to be on your plate (along with delicious Christmas cookies, of course). Spending a lot of time face-to-face with family can dig up old arguments or squabbles that everyone may have forgotten during the rest of the year.
You’re not the only one dealing with the drama, though, and while your own family issues might feel somewhat out of your control, there might be more you can do to take the edge off the stress that your friends are feeling in anticipation of holiday gatherings. Keep scrolling for eight expert tips for how to best offer support to your most stress-ridden BFFs.
Being a good listener is one of the most basic — and yet most important — things you can do as a friend 365 days of the year, but when tensions run high near the holidays, those listening skills become all the more crucial. You might even consider resisting the urge to speak, like, at all. “Be a good listener and don’t give advice,” licensed marriage and family therapist Katie Ziskind says. “Supporting someone doesn’t mean that you have to fix their problem. Instead, truly being supportive means giving a hug when someone is crying and being a caring friend.”
Rather than reassuring your friend that things at family celebrations may not be as bad as they fear, trust what they know about the situation and help them wrap their head around what’s to come. This should minimize the stress for them in the long run. “If you expect it and it happens, situation normal,” certified life coach Susan Golicic tells us. “If you expect it and it doesn’t, well, then, a bonus!”
Going into any situation with a plan almost always feels better than going in unprepared. Per writer, speaker, and healing expert Alisa Zipursky, a helpful plan might include specific check-in times, a code word that indicates your friend needs extra support, and ideas for creating healthy boundaries with family members who make them feel especially triggered. “The idea is to make asking for help as easy as possible,” Zipursky says. “Making sure a proactive plan is in place well before someone enters the stressful situation can help relieve some of the anticipatory anxiety.”
Licensed counselor Maria Inoa recommends that you prioritize regular touch-base texts over the course of whatever event is causing your friend the most stress. It’s not about solving the conflicts or taking away their pain. Instead, you can focus on offering gentle reminders that you are thinking of them and are available if they need you.
If your friend’s family holiday celebrations don’t exactly inspire positive feelings about the occasion, why not help them establish some better associations? Licensed clinical professional counselor Anna Poss suggests planning a “low-stress, fun way to celebrate with each other before or after the actual holiday.” Get a seasonal movie night or cookie swap on the calendar before everyone leaves town to hang with family. Those cozy vibes may help dull the negative, anxious feelings.
Grab some pretty stationery and put your love and support on paper for your BFF. “In the note, remind her how strong, courageous, and capable she is,” licensed psychotherapist and life coach Diane Petrella says. “Let her know how much you love and admire her and how grateful you are for her friendship. Write whatever you think your friend needs to hear to feel supported, grounded, and loved.” Remind her to hide the note in her pocket or bag so she can read it whenever she needs a little extra TLC over the course of the holidays. You can even go one step further and send them home with a care package, per therapistShannon Thomas.
If things have gotten so bad with your bestie’s family that she wants to steer clear of their celebrations entirely, you may want to invite her to join you and your crew instead. Even if she opts to decline your invitation, it will mean a lot to her to know that she has choices. If your friend does take you up on the offer, Mountainside Treatment Center‘s family wellness manager Tina Muller recommends that you try to incorporate some of her favorite traditions into your holiday schedule.
“Before an event with possible family issues even happens, schedule a time not long after to see the friend,” marriage and family therapist Sarah Epstein suggests. “Now you’ve become the light at the end of the tunnel for them.” Be prepared to be a listening ear over dinner or a workout session so your pal can vent about everything that’s gone on and (hopefully) be ready to move on from there.
How do you and your pals support each other through the not-so-fun parts of the holidays? Tweet us @BritandCo.
(Photo via Getty)
