14 “Deep” Questions To Ask Your Boyfriend That Will Actually Make You Closer

1. Long-term goals like marriage aren't often a cause for concern.

Have you ever dated someone that made you wonder what you saw in them once you pay attention to certain red flags? You may have found yourself arguing with them about everything from religion to reproductive health, leaving you feeling dizzy afterwards. But Dr. Keels says compatible couples are more likely to be aligned on "whether they want the same things out of life."

Her examples include:

• Relocating for careers
• Family planning
• Finding somewhere to settle down in general (i.e. apartment, condo, different state, close to family, etc.,)

"This common ground lessens the chance of fighting over these big topics," Dr. Keels reiterates.

2. There's a lesser chance arguments about weekend activities occur.

We're no strangers to indecisive moments where we couldn't agree about what to do on the weekends with our partners, but Dr. Keels says compatible couples don't always run into this issue. "When you enjoy similar activities or have overlapping hobbies, you're more like to find ways to unwind together, rather than feeling disconnected or frustrated by each other's choices," she adds.

While it varies from couple to couple, you and your partner may enjoy the following:

• Buying tickets to watch the latest college basketball or football game
• Going to a 'Paint and Sip' class for fun
• Having a mini outdoor picnic
• Visiting a national park if it's on your couple's bucket list
• Spending a day at a local arcade

The possibilities are endless, but all that matters is that "this mutual understanding makes spending time together feel natural and fun," according to Dr. Keels.

3. Communication styles aren't causing a daily disruption.

Some people have a more direct way of communicating while others may be passive or even passive-aggressive. Less arguments aren't happening because compatible couples communicate the same however. "When they both understand each other's communication style — whether it's direct or more subtle — it helps avoid misunderstandings and frustration."

Here's a couple of examples:

• If you're having a bad day that has nothing to do with your partner, they don't take it personal when you prefer some alone time.
• If your partner says something they perceived to be a joke, but you didn't, you're less likely to immediately accuse them of being insensitive. Instead, there's a higher chance of asking what they mean by something and expressing why you didn't like it instead of arguing.

Compatible couples "know how to express their feelings and needs in a way that the other person can easily understand" which makes "it easier to resolve issues calmly," according to Dr. Keels.

Are couples better (or more compatible) because they don't have a lot of arguments?

Well, no. That's actually a stretch because everyone has arguments. "Even compatible couples can argue about everyday things like chores or schedules. No matter how well they get along or how "in sync" they are, little annoyances can still pop up here and there, and cause some tension between them," Dr. Keels shares. "The difference," she points out, "is that they're usually better at handling these moments and keeping them from turning into bigger problems."

The other thing she's seen couples argue about is money. "It's such a common stress point because everyone has different habits and priorities when it comes to spending or saving," she says. But, guess what? "Compatible couples tend to approach the conversation with more understanding and a willingness to find a compromise," she continues.

If you feel like you and your partner aren't on the same page, it may not be time to break up just yet. We've learned that that it can take time to effectively communicate with a romantic partner or understand them. Compatibility is great, but it's not an indicator that a relationship will be smooth sailing!

How can I have healthier disagreements with my partner?

Like we said, getting to a point where you and your partner aren't consistently hurting each other's feelings during disagreements takes time as well as skill. No one's born knowing all the answers so don't think your relationship is over because you're still figuring things out.

Dr. Keels says one way you and your partner can work on the kind of disagreements you're having is by "knowing how to communicate/compromise." Look, we heard your sigh and know it's probably the antithesis of how you feel. We struggled with compromising, but you don't get far in life thinking that everyone else has to bend to your will all the time.

"Even if they don’t see eye to eye all the time, healthy couples listen to each other's perspectives, and look for solutions that work for both of them. It’s not about 'winning' the argument and getting to say who's right, but finding common ground so they can move forward together," adds Dr. Keels.

Also, "staying respectful event when things get heated or when you're upset" is a way to have a productive arguments, according to Dr. Keels. What happens is that "healthy couples avoid yelling or saying hurting things during disagreements," she says. This means no cursing or raising voices to the point your next door neighbors feel they have to call the police to do a wellness check on you.

"Instead, they just focus on the real problem and stay calm, which helps them work through the issue without hurting each other and the relationship," Dr. Keels says. And in the event you and your partner can't find common ground in a given moment? She highly suggests you "take breaks or pause when things get too heated."

Couples who do this "know when to step away and cool off before continuing the conversation," she adds. There are times where it's difficult to have a proper conversation when you're anxious or angry, so it's always better to revisit the topic.

Dr. Keels agrees and says, "This gives them a chance to cool down first so they can properly think things through, and think of a solution that works for both of them without saying anything they might regret."

1. If you don't cook often, surprise your spouse with their favorite dinner recipe.

Saiter says you or your spouse "can make time for small gestures of kindness and thoughtfulness, like cooking" each other's "favorite meal." We don't know everything, but we're aware that home-cooked meals mean a lot to some people. Eating out is fun, but seeing someone put time and effort into a meal for you feels more personal.

2. Allow your partner to sleep in while you handle bank runs, grocery shopping, and other chores.

One of the other ways to each other's heart is "...running errands to show love and appreciation," according to Saiter. This can look like letting your partner rest while you handle early morning visits to the bank or grocery store before traffic picks up on the weekend.

Setting aside time for shared hobbies or interests can also be incredibly rejuvenating. For instance, taking a class together, whether it’s cooking, dancing, or photography, can help in discovering new aspects of each other and create fun, shared memories.

3. Sign up for a dance or photography class together.

If you've been thinking about taking a cooking, wine, dance, or photography class together, now's the time to do so! Saiter says, "Setting aside time for shared hobbies or interests can also be incredibly rejuvenating." Before you roll your eyes because you think you and your spouse don't have anything in common anymore, take a step back to remember what it was like when you were dating.

You probably went on different dates like going to the bowling alley, visiting a pumpkin patch, or even taking a candle class together for fun. Doing this again "can help in discovering new aspects of each other and create fun, shared memories," according to Saiter.

4. Verbally share why you're grateful for each other.

Yes, it's time for you and your spouse to remember why you chose to exchange vows. "...practicing gratitude by regularly expressing appreciation for each other's qualities and contributions can strengthen the emotional bond and bring back the warmth and closeness," Saiter says.

You can tell your partner you appreciate the times they've sensed something was wrong and knew just what to say to cheer you up. Also, you could simply thank them for remembering to take out the trash without you having to ask.

There's no rulebook that says expressing thanks for each other has to be elaborate and drawn out. It's just something to help you remember how much you see each other.

5. Set aside time to hold hands or cuddle everyday.

If you or your spouse are experiencing a drop in your libido, physical intimacy be hard to navigate. Saiter says, "Overcoming a 'dry spell' requires open communication and a willingness to explore underlying issues." As difficult as it may be, don't be afraid to express concerns because "there are many feelings and unsaid wants underneath the 'dry spell,'" he adds.

Doing something as simple as "prioritizing physical, non-sexual touch" is one way way Saiter believes can help you and your spouse become close again. You do things like "holding hands, cuddling, or sharing a long hug," to add a little spark back to what you had.

6. Pencil in date nights.

How many times have your or spouse asked, "Who has time for date night?" Wait, we don't want to know because chances are one of you have said it one too many times to count. Saiter says, "Planning regular date nights or weekends away can also help break the routine and create a sense of adventure in the relationship."

Communicating and being open to trying new things in the bedroom, like role-playing, using toys, or trying new positions, can also reignite the spark and make things exciting again.

You can also try revisiting places or activities that were significant earlier in your relationship to evoke nostalgic, passionate feelings and remind you both of your deep connection.

7. Let your adventurous side show in the bedroom.

If one of you are comfortable initiating sex again, let your fun side call the shots. However, Saiter wants to make sure you're "communicating" before surprising your spouse. "...being open to trying new things in the bedroom, like role-playing, using toys, or trying new positions" is one of the ways he thinks you can reconnect behind closed doors. It's all about finding safe ways to "reignite the spark and make things exciting again," he shares!

8. Revisit the place you fell in love with your spouse.

If you remember the exact time and place you knew your spouse was the one, Saiter suggests revisiting it to "evoke nostalgic, passionate feelings and remind you both of your deep connection." Whether it was at your local pizza parlor, the park, or even at a place like Disney World, find your why again.

My spouse and I are doing great after incorporating these tips, but how can we stay consistent?

Saiter says, "Life gets busy, but it’s crucial to carve out time for each other. Treat it like any other important appointment—block off time in your schedule for date nights, family dinners, or just time relaxing together." Maybe you think it should sound so simple, but it is. Like Saiter says, you have to prioritize your marriage just like you do everything and everyone else.

Ways to help you do so are limiting "distractions by putting away phones and other devices" to "talk about your dreams, unwind together or simply enjoy each other's company," he adds. Still struggling?

"It might also be helpful to look over your daily responsibilities together to make sure the workload at home is shared fairly. Building a strong and fulfilling relationship takes effort and commitment. By prioritizing your partner, communicating openly, and making time for each other, you can strengthen your bond and reignite the spark," Saiter suggests.

Mac Duggal Halter Rosette Satin Maxi Dress

Ooh, so sultry! This satin maxi dress features a cheeky open back design that pairs perfectly with a flattering halter neckline. The big rosette decal on the front recalls Valentine's Day blooms in the cutest way.

RIXO Ardith Check Midi Slip Skirt

With bits of red and pink, this plaid midi skirt would be so sweet for a more casual V-Day date alongside an oversized sweater and some ballet flats.

Dolce Vita Linsey Heels

These deep red satin heels with pairs of rosettes on the straps are everything. They'd work well with a mini dress and blazer for a fun V-Day 'fit, though you could also easily wear 'em year-round with dress pants and a formal blouse.

Lace Rosette Tulle Tights

These floral tights will instantly upgrade any Valentine's Day get-up, especially if you plan on wearing a coordinating mini dress or skirt – they're meant to be seen!

By Anthropologie Colorblock Column Midi Dress

The bold color blocking on this midi dress is playful enough that you can wear the piece alone. It'll look great whether you dress it up with heels, or down with some comfy sneakers.

The Giselle Lace Bustier

If you feel like really dressing up this year, this lacy bustier top adds a very sexy-yet-elegant vibe. Pair it with some black slacks or a black skirt, then layer up with a sleek cardigan or jacket.

The Tilda Maxi Slip Skirt

When it doubt, red it out. The color is V-Day's perfect match, and this comfy maxi slip skirt makes donning it so easy. You can style it however you please – we'd rock it with a tucked-in graphic tee, a denim jacket, and some sneakers.

Coconuts by Matisse Florence Kitten Heels

Kitten heels will always be a winner in our book. This sleek pair features a tiny heel height, pointed toes, and eye-catching paneling with mixed materials. They'll instantly complete your Valentine's Day outfit!

Reformation Tancy Midi Dress

Reformation kills it when it comes to dresses. This one's dotted in tiny hearts to fit right in with Valentine's season. The sweetheart neckline is ultimately super flattering, plus the midi length of the piece gives you ample coverage so you can wear it to a variety of plans, from dates to Galentine's parties!

Endless Rose Sequin Mini Skirt

This fiery and feisty number is a statement piece all on its own. Wear it with a more toned-down black top and some tall black boots to complete the look!

The Kenna Mid-Rise Heritage Barrel Jeans by Pilcro: Valentine's Day Edition

These ever-trendy barrel jeans are adorned with subtle heart illustrations, so they're a perfect fit for the lovey-dovey holiday.

ALOHAS Tb.490 Rife Sneakers

Yes, yes, and yes! These pink sneaks detailed with some bits of red practically scream Valentine's Day. The mix of suede on the upper and the rubber soles is so cute.

The Hannah Seamless Textured Tank

This tank boasts a floral texture that makes it a great base layer for any V-Day 'fits you're planning. The red is the obvious choice for Feb. 14, though you can also shop this piece in 8 more colors!

Endless Rose Off-The-Shoulder Knit Mini Dress

We looove an off-the-shoulder moment. The knit material on this piece will keep you warm, but the silhouette still allows you to show a lil' skin.

Beach Riot Monterey Quarter-Zip Sweater

How cutesy is this sweater?! It's the perfect casual V-Day piece if your plans this year are simply to stay in and bake some delicious treats.

Maeve Bow Lace Turtleneck Top

This top was made for layering. Whether you wear just a bralette or a full-on tank under it, the sheer pattern boasts some adorable bows that feel extremely appropriate for the V-Day season!

Bibi Lou Bonnie Slingback Buckle Detail Heels

We can't get enough of these eye-catching heels. The bold buckle, block heel, and slingback strap instantly qualify them as a total "it girl" shoe for Valentine's Day.