Why You Shouldn’t Stress Out About When Your Kids’ Bedtimes *Should* Be

What is sleepmaxxing?

If you're confused about sleepmaxxing, you're not alone — it's really not a straightforward term. It reminds us of what Will Ferrell said in Blades of Glory: "No one knows what it means but it's provocative...gets the people going." However, it actually has a meaning, and Dr. Bindal succinctly breaks it down. "Sleepmaxxing is the art and science of optimizing one's sleep and achieving the best possible quality & quantity of sleep by addressing every factor that can disrupt sleep," he says. This can look like using ear plugs, sleep masks, establishing specific sleep rituals, or anything else that is soothing and helpful.

Mainly, if you actually want to maximize your sleep, then you need to focus on what you do before you go to bed. Unbeknownst to us at times, our bedtime habits can affect the kind of rest we get (or not) at night. Dr. Bindal says, "Optimal Sleep hygiene methodologies including limiting light and sound exposure to using the latest sleep gadgets so sleepmaxxing aims to enhance sleep quality to the fullest." Unfortunately this means our habit of binge watching shows or scrolling mindlessly on TikTok at night aren't helping us.

I mean, according to the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, 35% of those surveyed have their sleep interrupted by lights inside of their homes. That's just lights, sans repetitious social media sounds and compelling television plots. When you add those on top of it all...let's just say we really are not doing ourselves any favors.

How does getting the proper amount of rest aid in our overall wellbeing?

Now that you have a better idea of what sleepmaxxing is, we have to talk about why it matters. Dr. Bindal says getting the "proper amount of sleep" helps support" the following "various bodily functions" including, but not limited to:

• Brain health — Enhanced cognition in domains of learning, concentration and consolidating memory by promoting phenomenon of hippocampal plasticity
• Immune system function — A production of essential immune cells, better equipped to fighting off infections
• Hormone regulation — A regulation of mood and reduced stress and physical repair that promotes muscle recovery, tissue repair, and overall physical development

He further explains that hormone regulation eventually leads to "improved mood, concentration, energy levels, and reduced risk of chronic diseases like heart disease and diabetes."

Basically, the health benefits of slowing down and going to sleep outweigh what society often pushes — staying up later, longer and hustling at all hours of the day and night.

On average, how many hours of sleep are recommended?

How much rest are you truly getting at night? If you ask America's Health Rankings, 35% of adults are getting less than seven hours of sleep. Dr. Bindal says that while adults should sleep between seven and nine hours every night, and there are health risks for those who don't. "Research corroborates that adults who sleep less than seven hours a night may have more health issues than those who do," he explains. Johns Hopkins Medicinefound that sleep deprivation can lead to a "36% increased risk for colorectal cancer," propensity for developing type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, and an overall lower immune system.

Saying "I'll sleep when I'm dead," may sound like a joke, but there's nothing funny about not letting your body get the rest it needs to function.

Should people with sleep difficulties try sleepmaxxing?

There are several reasons why your sleep could be negatively impacted right now. You may be dealing with insomnia due to stress, depression, or being a new parent. According to the American Psychological Association, 43% of people believe being stressed contributes to their lack of sleep. Furthermore, these same people have noticed their mood has shifted. The same reports shows that 45% of people who are getting less than the recommended hours of sleep have shared they feel on edge more than others while 52% have noticed they've been taking their frustrations out on those in their household.

Dr. Bindal agrees that sleepmaxxing can greatly benefit you if you're struggling because it can "enhance sleep quality to the fullest and emphasizes the importance of optimal sleep health."

How does sleepmaxxing benefit us?

Clearly, you need a certain amount of sleep to function properly and achieve all those goals you've so intentionally set recently (hello, October Theory!). That's where sleepmaxxing can come in. Dr. Bindal says, "Improved sleep quality can lead to enhanced mental clarity and emotional stability, making it easier to navigate daily challenges."

If you're planning to change a few habits, you're going to need all the strength and focus you can access because change isn't always easy — even if you welcome it! So when you're implementing these new nighttime routines, be sure to stick to them. Turn your phone on Do Not Disturb, avoid the itch to scroll socials, and make sure you're able to properly relax. It can make all the difference in the world!

How can we incorporate sleepmaxxing in our bedtime routines?

If you don't know how to make sleepmaxxing work for you, Dr. Bindal has great suggestions! "Key techniques include optimizing your sleep environment, establishing a consistent sleep schedule, and managing stress and anxiety," he suggests.

One of the key ways you can make sure your room will promote a good night's sleep is by "adjusting the temperature" or "practicing a relaxation exercises before bed," he says. While meditation and mindfulness may be relaxation exercises that take practice over time, choosing the correct temperature is an easy way to set yourself up for success. Everyone's different, but he truly believes your room should be between 65 and 69 degrees Fahrenheit, too.

As Dr. Bindal mentioned before, eliminating sources of light can also aid in the rest you get. Personally, I can't sleep with the TV or lights on anymore because I just know it interrupts my sleep. My room is usually pitch black when it's time to go to sleep — to the point my three-year-old knows what it means when I turn everything off.

Besides these things, Dr. Bindal encourages you to maintain "consistent sleep and wake times" along with a "balanced diet and regular physical activity." Whether that means you start making your own Cava bowls inspired by the blue zone diet or doing workouts at home, they can aid in helping your body repair itself which then promotes the sleep you need.

Can we become too hyper-focused on our quality of sleep?

As with anything, too much of something can have adverse affects which rules out any benefits. Though sleepmaxxing can be a good thing for you, becoming fixated on it is likely going to make you even more stressed. "One of the primary concerns with sleepmaxxing is the development of orthosomnia, a condition caused by an obsession with tracking sleep metrics, with devices or apps, which increases anxiety and can further disrupt sleep, called paradoxical insomnia," Dr. Bindal warns.

If you become too obsessed with tracking every little thing, he says all this will do is "disrupt sleep cycles and limit the efficacy of insomnia treatments." But, he has an idea of what you can do to lessen the chance that'll happen. "Instead of over-analyzing how much sleep you’re getting, it’s important to understand that insomnia is a common and treatable condition, by incorporating healthy sleep hygiene routines organically and focusing on addressing the root causes of insomnia symptoms," he shares.

How can we optimize our sleep without getting sucked into wellness trends?

Whether you want to call it sleepmaxxing or not, all you have to do is normalize the tips Dr. Bindal mentioned above. "Some of the ways can include established a consistent sleep schedule, creating a relaxing bedtime routine, managing light exposure, and limiting screen time before you want to go to sleep," he reiterates. Social media isn't going anywhere so don't let your FOMO convince you that potential scandals or tutorials are more important than getting seven to nine hours of sleep.

Also, don't forget to "maintain a comfortable sleep environment" while being aware of your "caffeine and alcohol intake throughout the day," Dr. Bindal points out. Something tells us that we're going to have to be intentional about breaking up with our daily coffee runs and desires to unwind with a nice glass of wine. But if it means we'll sleep better, we'll add that to our list of habits to change!

Co-sleeping, or sharing a bed with your kids, might be the talk of the town right now, but it's actually been around for centuries. "Families choose to [co-sleep] for multiple reasons, sometimes simply because they may only have one bed or one bedroom," says Dr. Chafen Hart, a fellowship-trained pediatric sleep specialist at National Jewish Health. "I think while co-sleeping has enjoyed increased discussion, which is important, it is likely the frequency of co-sleeping is the same as ever."

Co-sleeping is most common with younger children (which makes sense considering how strong separation anxiety is for children between 18 months and 3 years), and generally peters out as a child gets older. While some parents choose not to co-sleep because of the risk of SUIDs (Sudden Unexpected Infant Death, which is more common in infants who share a bed with their parents), children can actually sleep better if they do so independently.

"The parent provides a sleep association which prevents a younger child from effectively napping at daycare or an older child from attending camp or going to a sleepover," Dr. Hart says. "When the child wakes in the middle of the night, they require the parent nearby and touching them to fall back asleep because they have a strong sleep association with co-sleeping."

However, your sleeping arrangements will likely look different from your best friends' or your extended family's because all of your children are different — as are their needs. Sleep issues or significant health issues are just two instances where co-sleeping can actually be beneficial for a child. And if co-sleeping doesn't affect your child at all? Dr. Hart recommends just enjoying the snuggles.

"For families who are content with their arrangement and the child is doing well during the day and has managed to learn the skill of falling asleep independently, I absolutely think they should continue to co-sleep," she says.

If you're worried your child has become too dependent on co-sleeping as they've aged, or if they can't sleep in their own bed at all, Dr. Hart recommends visiting a sleep doctor, therapist, or psychologist.

"In general, treatment should be personalized for the family and my recommendations change based on the age of the child," she says. "For older children who are neurodevelopmentally typical, rewards and gradual extinction of parental presence can work. For younger children, we employ additional strategies like delayed bedtimes [and] sibling co-sleeping."

I slept in the same bed as my sister growing up, and I remember our late night conversations so fondly. Getting to know each other's personalities, fears, and senses of humor at such a young age only ended up strengthening our relationship!

Teaching your child to sleep well is vital for their brain and bodily health, but it's also important for parents to get sleep too! And if you're feeling overwhelmed and under-rested, know you're not alone. "Parents should know they are not alone and that co-sleeping should be a part of the conversation with their doctors," Dr. Hart says. "Pediatricians have heard it all! And some children naturally have a MUCH harder time than others learning the skill of sleeping."

Setting expectations, habits, and boundaries early (should you choose to do so) will take time and commitment on your part, but it'll teach your kids "the serious skill of falling asleep with confidence."

"Long term good sleep habits and skills mean the school-aged child will be confident, traveling without anxiety around sleep, falling asleep without serious power struggles which stress the whole family and allowing the parents much needed rest time as well," Dr. Hart says. All this talk is making me sleepy — I gotta try our 5 Best Ways To Beat Fatigue!

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