5 Rum Myths You Shouldn’t Believe

Associated with boozy beach parties and tropical fruit punches, rum is often (unnecessarily!) reserved for vacations only. Some other rum myths that are floating around out there? It’s cheap. It’s too sweet. Well, don’t believe the rumors — it’s time you know the truth. Ashela Richardson, brand ambassador for naturally aged Nicaraguan rum Flor de Caña and an expert mixologist, dispels five of the common myths surrounding this widely misunderstood spirit.

1. Rum isn’t distilled like whiskey or tequila. “When we learn about how alcohol comes to be, we talk about fermentation,” Richardson tells us. “You need a sugar source and you ferment that sugar source with yeast and heat. That reaction produces alcohol, a little bit of CO2, and some other things that are the unique flavors from that particular fermentation type.” Beer and wine, for example, are fermented alcohols. “The next step of how you get spirits is you take that fermented alcohol and you distill it,” she continues, citing that whiskey is distilled beer and cognac is distilled wine. “So rum is the same process with a different base ingredient: molasses.”

2. All rum is sweet. After distillation, all that remains is alcohol. “You don’t have any of the sugar or the sweetness leftover,” Richardson explains. “You’re just concentrating the alcohols.” Sure, tiny notes of molasses will come through, but it’s the addition of spices and flavors that actually makes a spiced or coconut rum taste a bit sweeter, she says.

3. All rum is the same. Some rum has color due to added flavors. However, some rum is a bit darker due to the aging process, which generally takes place in former bourbon barrels or sherry casks and enriches the color. “I think that’s a misconception about aged rums in particular — that they are going to be sweet like your flavored or spiced rums can tend to be. In reality, there are so many beautiful aged rums out there that have just as much complexity as whiskies or finer aged spirits like cognac.” Pro tip: You can use an aged rum (e.g. Flor de Caña 7) how you would whiskey and riff off classic, spirit-forward drink recipes like a Manhattan or an Old Fashioned.

4. Rum is only made in the Caribbean. “People don’t understand that rum can be made anywhere in the world. They often think an island in the Caribbean, but rum is actually a global spirit. It just has to come from sugar cane.” When you taste rum from different parts of the world, you can really get a feel for what Richardson refers to as its unique “sense of place.”

5. Rum daiquiris are strawberry-flavored and blended. Unlike the boozy strawberry frozen version you might enjoy beachside on vacay, a regular daiquiri is a classic cocktail that is neither made with strawberries nor blended. It’s made with two ounces of rum and equal parts (generally 3/4 ounce) lime juice and simple syrup. “It’s arguably the simplest rum cocktail that, if you have a really quality rum, is like the best drink you’ll ever have,” Richardson states. “But you have to have fresh lime juice in order to do it right because of the balance factor.” Is anyone else thirsty?

So now that you know what rum is *really* like, it’s time to make sure your bar cart is ready to experiment with the versatile spirit. Aside from a bottle of the good stuff, here’s what you’ll need to mix up classic cocktails like a pro: a muddler (for mojitos), a mixing glass, a set of shaking tins, and a jigger. Cheers!

Want even more cocktail inspo? Follow us on Pinterest!

(Photo via Flor de Caña)

Forget what Big Internet is telling you: you don’t have to shell out hundreds of dollars for a single dress. Target has tons of dress styles that rival that of Nordstrom and Reformation, available for way less. In fact, all of these Target party dresses are on sale right now through November 9. These luxe-looking designs will ensure your look is the talk of the party, no matter what you’re getting up to. From company Christmas parties to a New Year’s Eve night out, you’re most definitely going to find a dress fit for the occasion.

Our top 14 favorite Target party dresses for the 2024 season:

Target

A New Day Midi Lace Trim Dress

The chic v-neck on this silky midi dress is lined with a lace trim that make it all the more elegant. Pair this pick with a contrasting clutch and your favorite tall boots to totally rock the look!

Target

A New Day Drop Tier Maxi Dress

This is a dress style I gawk over all the time, thanks to none other than Sex and the City. The dramatic drop-waist helps elongate and flatter your figure, so you'll be feeling uber-confident the moment you walk into any party. Plus, this sultry burgundy color is such a perfect fit for winter functions.

Target

Wild Fable Rosette Tube Maxi Bodycon Dress

A tube dress is gonna get me every time. The strapless look is simply iconic because you can show up to the party covered up in a cardigan, then make the big reveal once things start to turn up. The statement rosette on this pick's neckline is a whole accessory in itself, so all you need is a good pair of statement earrings to complete the ensemble!

Target

Wild Fable Long Sleeve Flocked Mini Fit & Flare Dress

Want a bit of coverage, but still want to feel sexy? This off-the-shoulder party dress is for you! The long sleeves and textured velvet material make it feel much more winter-appropriate, but you still get to show off your neckline.

Target

Wild Fable Tiered Bow Mini Lace Dress

I am still thoroughly obsessed with bows, which is why I'm definitely snagging this style for any upcoming holiday shindigs. The tiered styling is undeniably flattering, and the black trim qualifies this party dress to be a good match with other black pieces, from jackets to boots.

Target

Ava & Viv Long Sleeve Rosette Midi A-Line Dress

When it comes to wintery fabrics, velvet reigns supreme. This playful square-neck mini dress is super soft to the touch and has the perfect amount of personality, thanks to the lil' rosette decal up front.

Target

Wild Fable Open Work Sequin Midi Dress

Yes, yes, and yes. This is my favorite Target party dress of them all. Though simple in its silhouette, the multicolored sequins do all the talking. Since this long dress makes a statement all on its own, I'd style it with some simple heels.

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For your friend who just can’t resist making a charcuterie board for every occasion to your cooking-crazy uncle, we’ve got the coolest edible gifts for 2024 right here. Gift something deliciously unforgettable – from decadent chocolate truffles to zesty spice mixes, these edible gifts bring joy to every bite. Edible gifts are also perfect for those who host you during the holidays and even coworkers! Get ready to spread some cheer with these edible gifts.

The 24 best edible gifts of 2024:

Below, find our top favorite edible gifts for everyone on your list!

Amazon

Graza Olive Oil Variety Pack

Any foodie will instantly recognize Graza's iconic squeezable olive oil bottles. This variety pack includes both their "Drizzle" and "Sizzle" oils that work wonderfully for a wide range of recipes.

Amazon

Coop's Original Hot Fudge

This hot fudge is crafted from super wholesome ingredients: pure chocolate, fresh cream, organic sugar cane, natural cocoa powder, and a touch of sea salt all come together for a heavenly (and very chocolatey) experience. Glob it on top of some ice cream to achieve pure dessert-y bliss.

Amazon

Tate's Bake Shop Chocolate Chip Cookies

These cookies may be light and crispy, but they're decadent as ever. Snag this 4-pack of bags (with 14 cookies each) to totally nail any sweet tooth's gift this year!

Flamingo Estate

Flamingo Estate Spicy Extra Virgin Olive Oil

This luxurious olive oil is infused with Guajillo chiles that bring an undeniable kick to whatever you cook with it.

Amazon

Hickory Farms Farmhouse Sausage & Cheese Food Gift Basket

Because who doesn't love snacking on meat and cheese? This loaded gift basket will keep them munching and satisfied during the in-between moments around the holidays.

Compartés

Compartés Boozy Chocolate Gift Box

This gift box's boozy chocolate flavors range from espresso martini to strawberry champagne. Gift them the entire box or split it up amongst friends for a fun (and alcoholic) stocking stuffer moment!

Fly By Jing

Fly By Jing Sichuan Starter Gift Set

This gift set from Fly By Jing includes four different chili crisps and sauces so your giftee can instantly spice up their dishes. We love using the OG Sichuan Chili Crisp on eggs, noodles, chicken, and more.

Kola Goodies

Kola Goodies Lilly's Maple Chai Box

This adorable book-shaped gift box is packed with a delicious maple chai drink mix for the perfect cozy beverage, which is simply a necessity around the holidays (and wintertime as a whole).

Fishwife

Fishwife The Starter Pack

Fishwife's variety of tinned fish can be used across a wide range of different dishes like sandwiches, wraps, salads, pastas, and more. Gift them this set of 7 tins so they can test out different recipes and find their absolute fave!

Uncommon Goods

Custom Message Shortbread Cookies

Let these sweet treats deliver your holiday wishes for you! You're able to customize the text on each piece of shortbread to bring even more cheer.

Subscribe to our newsletter for even more gift ideas!

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

If you're throwing a tapas party and don't want to spend the entire night in the kitchen, look no further than these tapas recipes. They're yummy small plates of food to be shared among your guests. These smaller servings, typically of unique cuisines, can be a great way to try something new and really impress your foodie friends that always want a little bite!

Most of these tapas recipes come together in no time, which can be super helpful if you lean toward procrastinating the daunting task of hosting. To get you started, we've got the 56 best easy and authentic Spanish tapas ideas. And don't forget — these babies taste even better when paired with a pitcher of sangria!

What are the 3 types of tapas?

Sascha Weber / PEXELS

The three types of tapas include cosas de picar (finger foods), pinchos (which require something like a toothpick to eat), and cazuelas (little dishes served in a sauce).

What are some typical tapas foods?

Valeria Boltneva / PEXELS

Tapas foods are usually served in smaller portions, but they're all delicious. You can serve everything from olives and fried cheese to chorizo and sweet baked churro chips.

What do you serve at a tapas party?

RDNE Stock Project / PEXELS

There are a variety of foods you can serve at a tapas party, but our favorite tapas menu includes jalapeño poppers, fried cheese, savory canapés, and stuffed olives. We love a fig and bacon jam crostini, too!

Our Favorite Tapas Recipes To Share With The Whole Party

Vegan Italian Sausage Hand Pies

Plant Provisions

The only thing better than a new pizza recipe is when that pizza is small enough to fit in the palm of your hand. These pies are totally delicious and feature a mouthwatering mix of vegan sausage, vegan cheese, and potatoes. (via Plant Provisions for Brit + Co)

Baked Churro Chips

Brit + Co

Steer away from tradition by making some churros into chips. They’re easy to make in big batches, and they’re even easier to dip into mocha-fudge sauce, caramel sauce or whipped cream. The fact that they're on the sweeter side is a great for switching things up in the tapas department. (via Brit + Co)

Triscuit + Cucumber + Mint + Feta

Brit + Co

A salty Triscuit cracker, paired with refreshing cucumber and bright mint? Sign us up, like, right now. This quick recipe makes for a refreshing tapa that your guests are sure to enjoy. (via Brit + Co)

Blistered Shishito Peppers

Forks & Foliage

Your tapas menu just got a serious upgrade with this recipe. The peppers get blistered over high heat for some massive flavor, then team up with some burrata and olive oil to mellow out the spice. (via Forks & Foliage for Brit + Co)

Chicken Pineapple Skewers

Brit + Co

Sweet meets savory in this top-tier tapas recipe. The skewered meat + fruit allows for such easy snacking! (via Brit + Co)

Chocolate-Covered Cheese Bites

Parmigiano Reggiano

You'd be surprised at just how well sharp cheese and dark chocolate work together! This is definitely one of the most unique tapas recipes we've ever tried, but the combo is so worth it. (via Parmigiano Reggianofor Brit + Co)

Eggplant Moussaka

Forks & Foliage

Moussaka, a tasty compilation of eggplants, garlic, onion, and chickpeas, is an unforgettable tapas menu item. It's vegan by nature, and meant to be served cold for hot summer days! (via Forks & Foliage for Brit + Co)

Triscuit + Cherry Tomatoes + Mozzarella Cheese + Spicy Chili Flakes

Brit + Co

The cherry tomatoes and spicy chili flakes in this tapas food will taste amazing together, especially when you have cheese to cut the tart spice! (via Brit + Co)

Bacon Pastry Twists

Brit + Co

Everyone will be in a twist over how tasty these pastry snacks are! (via Brit + Co)

Smoked Salmon Bites

Brit + Co

Smoked salmon elevates cracker bites to the max.(via Brit + Co)

Baked Brie

Ron Lach / PEXELS

Baked brie is one of the best finger foods to share with your friends. Make sure everyone gets a bite by setting out a baked brie platter complete with crackers, chips, honey, and jam. (via Brit + Co)

Stuffed Mushrooms

Brit + Co

Stuffed mushrooms are one of the best tapas recipes around, because they're painfully easy to make. They're also easily customizable via the filling, so you can switch it up each time depending on the occasion or theme of the get-together you're going to. (via Brit + Co)

Vegan Grazing Platter

The Edgy Veg

Everyone will want a bite from this colorful grazing platter. It's got veggies, it's got fruit, it's got nuts. You can also add in vegan cheeses, mushrooms, hummus — whatever floats your boat. (via The Edgy Veg)

Seared Tuna with Manzanilla Olive Tapenade

The Endless Meal

This bite may look super involved and fancy, but we promise you it's as simple as tapas recipes get. Sear some fresh tuna before using it to top cucumber slices that pair with a delicious homemade tapenade. (via The Endless Meal)

Spinach + Chickpeas (Espinacas Con Garbanzos)

Spanish Sabores

This spinach and chickpea stew is popular in Seville, Spain. Aside from the delicious flavors, the best part about this recipe is definitely the fact that it only takes half an hour to make! The ingredients are all healthy, too, which allows you to eat as much as you'd like to. (via Spanish Sabores)

Chorizo, Manchego, and Olive Skewers

My Modern Cookery

These honey-drizzled skewers embody the rich, fresh flavors of Spanish foods. They're a total fireworks show in your mouth. The best part is there is absolutely no cooking required! They're so easy to put together and can be customized to you and your guests' preferences. (via My Modern Cookery)

Cheese-Stuffed Garlic Bites

The Edgy Veg

For a rounding out a delicious and savory tapas menu, you can't go wrong with these cheese-stuffed garlic bites! They're super easy to make, and you can pair them with any dipping sauce. (via The Edgy Veg)

Fig and Bacon Jam Crostini

Barley & Sage

Smear goat cheese on some toasted baguette slices, add bacon jam and fig slices, and drizzle with honey (or hot honey) to make these tapas. This fresh flavor combination is nothing like you've ever tasted before. It's sure to wow your guests, due its delectable and complex flavor palette. (via Barley & Sage)

Garlic Shrimp with Lemon and Parsley

Spain on a Fork

This simple lemon-garlic shrimp is sure to satisfy. Serve with toothpicks for spearing or crusty baguette slices for dipping. P.S. this is a great dish to pair with some white wine! (via Spain on a Fork)

Spanish Tortilla with Burrata and Herbs

Half Baked Harvest

This recipe using potatoes, eggs, fresh herbs, prosciutto, and burrata is the perfect addition to your tapas dinner party menu. It's simple to make, but the flavors are oh-so complex. (via Half Baked Harvest)

Mushroom Croquettes

Cilantro and Citronella

Croquetas de jamón, AKA logs of ham coated in breadcrumbs and fried until golden, are easy to find at most tapas bars in Spain. These bites are filled with mushrooms and made with non-dairy milk, so even your vegan friends can enjoy them! (via Cilantro and Citronella)

Squash Cornbread Mini Muffins

Chef Bai

These cornbread tapas are made with squash to boost your bite with tons of nutritional value, and their size makes them the perfect finger food for sharing with others. They're sweet, yet super savory! (via Chef Bai)

Pan Tumaca

Cilantro Parsley

This tapas recipe originates from old Spanish tradition of finding ways to reuse crusty bread. Adding tomato and olive oil will soften up your crust to be topped with flavorful meat and spiciness! (via Cilantro Parsley)

Fried Cheese Curds

Culinary Hill

Fry some cheese curds in your oil of choice, and this tapas finger food is ready to be enjoyed! Get ready to make a big batch, though, because these crunchy, creamy bites are addictive! (via Culinary Hill)

Chorizo Al Vino Tinto (Chorizo in Red Wine)

Caroline's Cooking

The red wine in this dish gives an extra layer of flavor that you just cannot miss. This recipe tastes delicious with both mild and spicy chorizo, so it's a great option for everyone. They're also super light, which makes them perfect to serve before a larger meal. (via Caroline's Cooking)

Brie Stuffed Crispy Baby Potatoes

Half Baked Harvest

Potatoes at a party are always a win. These brie-stuffed potatoes are unbelievably delicious and provide an elevated take on a classic potato recipe. The addition of truffle oil seriously just pushes these over the edge in terms of flavor. (via Half Baked Harvest)

Bacon + Goat Cheese Pops

The Endless Meal

Make this finger food an easy hack by using skewers to serve them! You'll get a mouthful rich with sweet and savory notes. (via The Endless Meal)

Spanish Cheese Board Easy Tapas Dish

My Kitchen Love

This easy tapas recipe allows you to cover all of your flavor bases on a single board instead of making multiple small plates. This tapas assortment is a yummy twist on the modern charcuterie, and is full of Spanish cheeses, meats, grapes, olives and flavorful spreads. (via My Kitchen Love)

Watermelon Salad with Feta, Cucumber, and Basil

Rachel Mansfield

Keep things fresh and fruity with this unique combination of flavors! This chilled tapas recipe will hit different during the summer, as it's a relaxing and refreshing bite. (via Rachel Mansfield)

Bruschettas

Signature Concoctions

This take on a classic bruschetta bite can take your tapas party so much further, displaying a range of flavors from spicy to sweet. There are so many different ways to customize them that you can bring them out time and time again and your guests won't ever get tired of them! (via Signature Concoctions)

Air Fryer Lemon Pepper Chicken Wings

Cozy Cravings

These delicious, tapas-worthy chicken wings are prepared in the air fryer, making prepping for a party so much easier. Everyone won't be able to get enough of the spicy, citrusy flavors! (via Cozy Cravings)

Chicken Empanadas Tapas Recipes

Food with Feeling

Because no one ever complained about chicken, cheese, and carbs – and we're not about to start. This genius tapas idea takes under 30 minutes to prepare and each bite is filling enough that you wouldn't need to serve much else! (via Food with Feeling)

Vegetarian Jalapeño Poppers

Live Eat Learn

You'll want to eat tons of these flavorful bites! Get into the crunch with these baked jalapeño poppers. This tapas recipe has the perfect amount of spice that will allow all of your guests to enjoy bite and bite again. (via Live Eat Learn)

Spanish-Style Tomato and Butter Bean Dip

Fresh Off the Grid

This addictive tapas party dip is so simple, you can even make it on a camping trip! Don't be fooled by the simplicity though, it's still delicious AF. You can pair it with pita chips or sourdough bread for a treat that's sure to impress. (via Fresh Off the Grid)

Gambas al Ajillo

A Spicy Perspective

This spicy shrimp tapas recipe can be used to toss with pasta or served on skewers! The choice is yours. They're packed with garlic, arbol chile, and sherry flavor that makes it a standout dish on a big tapas spread. (via A Spicy Perspective)

Bacon-Wrapped Dates with Goat Cheese and Pecans

The Cookie Rookie

These four-ingredient bites are both crispy, chewy, and creamy all at once. They'll add some flavor and texture variety to your tapas menu! (via The Cookie Rookie)

Mini Quiche

Culinary Hill

Quiche recipes are always a hit, so why not make them bite-sized for your tapas party? You can take this recipe in so many different ways to produce some truly unique flavors. This has got to be one of the best tapas recipes out there. (via Culinary Hill)

Chickpea Cranberry Lettuce Wraps

Chef Bai

Make entertaining a crowd super simple with these fresh lettuce wraps. You'll get a mouthful of sweet cranberry, but also some savory notes. These tapas pack in tons of nutrition, though you'd never guess it. They're high in fiber and low in fat, making them great to even just make as a snack for yourself! (via Chef Bai)

Pan Con Tomate

A Spicy Perspective

This snack is common in Spain, and just one of the easiest ways to make tapas recipes. Fresh, oily, and garlicky, we could never pass up pan con tomate. (via A Spicy Perspective)

Flank Steak with Goat Cheese on Toast

Steamy Kitchen

Grilled flank steak and roasted red pepper sit atop creamy goat cheese and crusty bread, but the real kicker is a roasted fig and onion jam that adds a perfect touch of sweetness. (via Steamy Kitchen)

Blistered Padrón Peppers

What's Gaby Cooking?

Olive oil, salt, lemon juice, and heat transform these Spanish peppers into a party-worthy tapas food. Your guests will be blown away by how much punch these little peppers pack. (via What’s Gaby Cooking?)

Zanahorias Saliñadas Tapas Recipe

Tara’s Multicultural Table

These vibrant pickled carrot slices, served in olive oil and parsley, make a refreshing accompaniment to heavier, meatier tapas. (via Tara’s Multicultural Table)

Spanish-Style Meatballs

Grab a Plate

Meatballs are a welcome guest at any tapas party. These small bites are made with spicy chorizo, a Spanish staple. And, don't be surprised by their tiny size – these easy meatballs are big on flavor. (via Grab a Plate)

Heirloom Tomato, Basil, and Manchego Toast

Half Baked Harvest

If your tomatoes are in-season, you'll want to make this mother of all tapas recipes: tomato-manchego toasts topped with basil. They look gorgeous, so they're super fit to serve at a tapas celebration! (via Half Baked Harvest)

Two-Minute Olive Tapenade

Mommy Musings

Black olives, capers, and olive oil make one salty spread that you’ll hungrily smear on endless baguette slices during your tapas party. (via Mommy Musings)

Fried Calamari with Cilantro Aioli

Baker by Nature

Looking for a tapas dish with a little wow factor? Behold this simpler-than-you-think squid appetizer. The aioli dipping sauce is sooo good, you're going to be making these again and again. (via Baker by Nature)

Pan-Fried Cauliflower

Just a Little Bit of Bacon

Quick-fried cauliflower is a healthier alternative to fried cheese or meat, but it still tastes indulgent. One of the best parts of this tapas recipe is that you can fry it a few hours ahead and throw the pieces in the oven to get crispy again. (via Just a Little Bit of Bacon)

Balsamic Roasted Grape and Brie Crostini

Barley & Sage

Toasted baguette slices are topped with brie, balsamic roasted grapes, and toasted pecans along with balsamic glaze, thyme, and black pepper. It's like a party of flavors in your mouth! (via Barley & Sage)

Broccoli and Cheese Hand Pies

Feel Good Foodie

Handheld snacks are just a massive 'yes' from us. These hand pies are packed with cheese and broccoli to deliver the most satisfying bite. If you're a fan of broccoli + cheddar soup, you're going to love this tapas recipe. (via Feel Good Foodie)

Sriracha Buffalo Cauliflower Bites

Half Baked Harvest

Again, you could never go wrong with prepping cauliflower bites as far as tapas recipes go. This easy recipe leverages that Buffalo flavor we all know and love! It is one of the most flavorful and easy tapas you can whip up. (via Half Baked Harvest)

Mexican Tortilla Roll-Ups

Culinary Hill

These roll-ups are perfect for snack time, and easy to make with simple ingredients so that even little ones at your tapas party can enjoy! They're zesty, cheesy, and packed with flavor. (via Culinary Hill)

Caprese Crostini

Salt & Lavender

These garlicky caprese crostini melts are a delicious crowd-pleaser that is low-effort for the host! The crispy baguette paired with the sweet tomatoes, fresh mozzarella, and balsamic drizzle makes for a fantastic tapas treat. (via Salt & Lavender)

Whipped Feta, Corn and Zucchini Crostini

Live Eat Learn

Whipped feta cheese sits atop a crunchy crostini to balance out all of the comforting flavors of this tapas recipe. It's perfect for a snack, a party finger food, or an appetizer before a big meal. (via Live Eat Learn)

Artichoke Stuffed Mushrooms

Culinary Hill

These tasty stuffed mushrooms are buttery and savory and can be prepared in less than 30 minutes! The ingredients are superior and include two types of cheeses, scallions, and artichoke hearts. (via Culinary Hill)

Roasted Cauliflower Bites with Mint Dip

Salt & Lavender

Try something a little bit different and whip up some cauliflower to be dipped in this fresh mint concoction. It takes less than 30 minutes and is vegetarian-friendly! (via Salt & Lavender)

Spinach Artichoke Cups

Rachel Mansfield

This tapas recipe is like the classic dip, but even better. It's ready in 15 minutes and is made with all gluten-free ingredients, allowing you to accommodate your guests' varying dietary needs. (via Rachel Mansfield)

Join our newsletter for more tapas recipes and appetizer ideas, and check out our cooking and baking classes for more inspo!

This article has been updated.

If you're finding it hard to make friends as an adult, or maintain friendships from different life stages, you're definitely not alone. According to Dr. Deborah Gilboa, MD, Scientific Advisor for Azar, and a recent study from Azar and Talker, it's not abnormal to feel heightened levels of loneliness. In fact, that study suggests Gen Z feels lonely every day.

"Loneliness feels isolating because it goes beyond just lacking company; it’s a lack of meaningful connection," she says over email. "Social contact without meaning can worsen loneliness as it increases the individual’s perception of isolation and lack of belonging. The antidote is true social connection."

But how can we find that real social connection and community? I talked to Dr. Gilboa, JustAnswer Mental Health Expert Jennifer Kelman, and NYC Psychologist Dr. Alexandra Stratyner PhD, for some insight into behaviors that attract friends. Here are some behaviors that will simply make you irresistible — and will help you identify good friends in others!

Keep reading for some advice on how to attract friends — and easy ways to be a better friend to the people you love.

Brit + Co

There's no shame in realizing you're feeling lonely, but it's also important to identify when that loneliness morphs into isolation. "Even though many might be experiencing the same feelings, that doesn't mean they are reaching out for support," Kelman says. "Many are not feeling enough strength to reach out to others or feel like they are being a burden so they reason alone with their feelings."

"It's also become more evident as our reliance on digital communication has grown, sometimes leaving us more connected online but feeling less understood and less connected in more meaningful, in-person ways," Dr. Stratyner adds. And then there's the social expectation of it all. "Many people tend to hide their loneliness because they feel shame or embarrassment about it. This can make it even harder to open up and connect with others who might be feeling the same way. The more we keep these feelings to ourselves, the more it reinforces the isolation, even though we all experience it in varying forms."

"It is hard to see light when things feel dark, and many go inward to deal with their feelings," Kelman points out. "Many are so burdened by their feelings that they might not feel capable to care for those around them or to show up and be present for others."

And just like Dr. Gilboa says, we're looking for true connection, not just surface-level friendships. But how can we make true social connection? Here's what they suggest.

1. A good friend shows care and empathy for the people around them.

If you care for the people around you, there's a very good chance others will want to be your friend. "People that show empathy toward others are very attractive qualities as it shows that one has the capacity to care for others and be present for them," Kelman says. "Those that are gregarious and selfless can be quite appealing as well. Those that are self-involved tend to repel others rather than attract."

Focusing on others instead of yourself can be easier said than done, but the it's definitely worth it. "People are drawn to those who show genuine care and understanding," Dr. Stratyner agrees.

​2. A good friend is reliable and trustworthy.

Our inner circle is going to be made up of people who know us inside and out, but it's unlikely someone will reach that level of emotional intimacy unless you really trust them. "In friendship people rate reliability, honesty and trustworthiness more highly [than romantic relationships]," Dr. Gilboa says.

​3. People are attracted to humor.

Brit + Co

I'm sure we can all think of someone who never fails to make us laugh. And being the funny friend can mean a lot of things: you know how to poke fun at yourself or you don't take things too seriously (unless they need to be taken seriously, of course). But that doesn't mean making other people the butt of mean jokes.

"A good sense of humor helps foster a positive, lighthearted atmosphere, making interactions feel enjoyable and memorable," Stratyner says. "Plus, everyone loves to laugh."

​4. You need to be a good listener.

No one wants to be talked at and never listened to. After all, we do have two ears and one mouth! But simply nodding your head and zoning out won't cut it. "People appreciate feeling truly heard," Dr. Stratyner says. "This demonstrates respect, interest, and a willingness to connect on a deeper level."

"Be a great listener without asserting your own views or agenda," Kelman adds. "Be available, vulnerable and present. Ask those around you how they are and truly listen to how they feel. Be open and direct and most of all, be a constant. Nothing better than knowing that you will be there for all things."

So engage with what your friends are saying and, even better, remember it later!

5. A good friend is generous.

Is there a better time to talk about generosity than Thanksgiving? Be generous with your time, resources, and your heart — but don't worry, that doesn't mean you have to let someone else steam roll you. After all, a good friend also won't take advantage of you!

"Giving to others and the community are wonderful traits and habits that are very attractive to others and may draw people in," Kelman says. "People want to be around people that give and are easy-going in their interactions with individuals and the world around them."

​6. New friends are attracted to positivity.

Brit + Co

When things feel dark, new friends will be attracted to someone who can make the world feel a little lighter. "People are often attracted to those who can find the silver lining, stay hopeful, and spread good vibes, especially in challenging situations," Dr. Stratyner says.

That's not to say you can never have bad days or process things like disappointment and grief. It just means you aren't ruled by them. (Listen, as an Enneagram 4, I'm talking to myself!)

Ok, you might be thinking, this is great but what do I do with this information? Here are some easy, actionable steps to take if you want to make new friends.

1. Understand why you're feeling lonely will help you address the real problem.

"First is to get an understanding of the loneliness and where it is coming from...finding community too soon may cause an increase in loneliness even while being surrounded by others," Kelman recommends.

You can't reach a solution if you don't know what the real problem is. I realized since I work from home, I need to do better about leaving the apartment, and my favorite way to spend an afternoon is coworking with a friend at a coffee shop.

​2. Finding new hobbies will connect you with similar people.

I met some of my best friends through a big movie group, which means when I have a meme or a piece of news to fangirl over, I know exactly who to contact. "Find activities that ignite you, find like minded individuals with whom to connect," Kelman adds. "Join a book club, pick up a new sport or hobby, but again, trying to immerse yourself too soon may not have any impact on the lonely feelings."

"The antidote to loneliness is social connection — true connection that paves the way for belonging," Dr. Gilboah says. "Talking to people to learn what interests and values are shared will open the door for the types of relationships that become community."

​3. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there.

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Listen. If you only ever order takeout and watch Netflix, you'll simply never make new connections. You gotta get after it! "Look for community events, clubs, or hobby groups that align with your interests, whether book clubs, sports leagues, or volunteering opportunities," Dr. Stratyner says. "Being around people with shared passions makes it easier to start conversations and find common ground."

​4. And don't be afraid to reach out first.

For some reason, we've decided that reaching out first (or double texting) means we're needy and insufferable. This is simply not the case because who doesn't want to know they were thought of!! Plus, there's a good chance that if you're overthinking every little detail, other people are too.

"Reach out, even in small ways, to those around us who may be feeling the same," says Dr. Gilboah. "Loneliness often leads to rumination - the act of dwelling on or spiraling downward through negative thoughts. Ruminating can cause further isolation and distracts us from the people and stimuli around us."

​5. Be present when you're finally with people.

When you do make special connections, it's super important to make sure you're offering your full attention. "Showing up emotionally and physically makes them feel valued and heard, strengthening your bond," Dr. Stratyner says. She also recommends checking in to remind them you're there, and genuinely celebrating their wins (which, separately, is definitely a sign of being a girls' girl). "If a friend is going through a tough time, offer to help in any way you can," she adds. "Sometimes, simply acknowledging their struggle and offering your time can make all the difference."

"The best news about friendship is that Gen Z values authenticity above just about any other factor in friendship," Dr. Gilboah says. "Gathering the courage to be your true self and [mixing] that with empathetic listening will make you a sought after friend."

What's your favorite way to get to know new friends? Here are 10 Thought-Provoking Questions To Know Close Friends More Intimately!

With the holidays now approaching almost eerily quickly, you might already be feeling slightly uneasy about the family stresses that are bound to be on your plate (along with delicious Christmas cookies, of course). Spending a lot of time face-to-face with family can dig up old arguments or squabbles that everyone may have forgotten during the rest of the year.

Learn the 8 best ways to support your friend while they're in the middle of family drama

You’re not the only one dealing with the drama, though, and while your own family issues might feel somewhat out of your control, there might be more you can do to take the edge off the stress that your friends are feeling in anticipation of holiday gatherings. Keep scrolling for eight expert tips for how to best offer support to your most stress-ridden BFFs.

1. Listen without judging if your friend reveals an ongoing argument about a family will

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Being a good listener is one of the most basic — and yet most important — things you can do as a friend 365 days of the year, but when tensions run high near the holidays, those listening skills become all the more crucial. You might even consider resisting the urge to speak, like, at all. “Be a good listener and don’t give advice,” licensed marriage and family therapist Katie Ziskind says. “Supporting someone doesn’t mean that you have to fix their problem. Instead, truly being supportive means giving a hug when someone is crying and being a caring friend.”

2. Prep your pal to expect drama if your uncle's invited his new girlfriend and ex to dinner

Rather than reassuring your friend that things at family celebrations may not be as bad as they fear, trust what they know about the situation and help them wrap their head around what’s to come. This should minimize the stress for them in the long run. “If you expect it and it happens, situation normal,” certified life coach Susan Golicic tells us. “If you expect it and it doesn’t, well, then, a bonus!”

3. Help your bestie make a plan in case their fight-or-flight mode gets triggered

Going into any situation with a plan almost always feels better than going in unprepared. Per writer, speaker, and healing expert Alisa Zipursky, a helpful plan might include specific check-in times, a code word that indicates your friend needs extra support, and ideas for creating healthy boundaries with family members who make them feel especially triggered. “The idea is to make asking for help as easy as possible,” Zipursky says. “Making sure a proactive plan is in place well before someone enters the stressful situation can help relieve some of the anticipatory anxiety.”

4. Check in often by sending your friend periodic texts 

Licensed counselor Maria Inoa recommends that you prioritize regular touch-base texts over the course of whatever event is causing your friend the most stress. It’s not about solving the conflicts or taking away their pain. Instead, you can focus on offering gentle reminders that you are thinking of them and are available if they need you.

5. Create a new tradition that revolves around you and and your bestie's favorite Christmas movies

If your friend’s family holiday celebrations don’t exactly inspire positive feelings about the occasion, why not help them establish some better associations? Licensed clinical professional counselor Anna Poss suggests planning a “low-stress, fun way to celebrate with each other before or after the actual holiday.” Get a seasonal movie night or cookie swap on the calendar before everyone leaves town to hang with family. Those cozy vibes may help dull the negative, anxious feelings.

6. Write down words of affirmations for them to look at

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Grab some pretty stationery and put your love and support on paper for your BFF. “In the note, remind her how strong, courageous, and capable she is,” licensed psychotherapist and life coach Diane Petrella says. “Let her know how much you love and admire her and how grateful you are for her friendship. Write whatever you think your friend needs to hear to feel supported, grounded, and loved.” Remind her to hide the note in her pocket or bag so she can read it whenever she needs a little extra TLC over the course of the holidays. You can even go one step further and send them home with a care package, per therapistShannon Thomas.

7. Invite your friend to your family celebration

If things have gotten so bad with your bestie’s family that she wants to steer clear of their celebrations entirely, you may want to invite her to join you and your crew instead. Even if she opts to decline your invitation, it will mean a lot to her to know that she has choices. If your friend does take you up on the offer, Mountainside Treatment Center‘s family wellness manager Tina Muller recommends that you try to incorporate some of her favorite traditions into your holiday schedule.

8. Keep your phone nearby if your friend needs to talk about everything that happened

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“Before an event with possible family issues even happens, schedule a time not long after to see the friend,” marriage and family therapist Sarah Epstein suggests. “Now you’ve become the light at the end of the tunnel for them.” Be prepared to be a listening ear over dinner or a workout session so your pal can vent about everything that’s gone on and (hopefully) be ready to move on from there.

How do you and your pals support each other through the not-so-fun parts of the holidays? Tweet us @BritandCo.

(Photo via Getty)