This Is What It’s Like to Be a Wedding Planner

What makes landing a dream job so exciting?

The moment you go from thinking about your dream job to actually landing it feels euphoric. You feel a mixture of "I FINALLY did it" and "I can't wait to get started" because you've wanted it for so long. Carroll offers a better explanation though.

"A dream job is often one that marries our strengths, values, and interests — so it feels meaningful and purposeful as well as presenting opportunities to grow and develop in ways that feel exciting," she says.

This doesn't mean all dream jobs are created equal. Carroll says, "Everyone’s definition of a dream job is a little different, but the idea of showing up every day to do work that feels personally impactful, challenging and fulfilling is really motivating for many of us."

What are some harmful ways people approach daily tasks within their dream role?

I'm ambitious which isn't bad, but I've been known to be so laser-focused that I forget to take care of my basic needs. It's my way of trying to convince myself that I have to accomplish 2-3 things on my to-do list before giving something else my attention.

"It’s natural to want to succeed in a dream role, but there can be a number of pitfalls to watch out for as you try to prove yourself in the role and work at a demanding pace. It’s just as important to manage your energy and your workload as it is to manage your time," Carroll reminds.

Here's some of the harmful things she says you can do without realizing:

• Piling too much on your plate each day without a coherent plan to focus and prioritize on priorities
• Always saying yes to additional workload or meetings without assessing your other commitments
• Working too many hours, especially without breaks or adequate downtime to recharge, or feeling a need to be “on” 24-7
• Placing your work to-do list ahead of your self care, sleep or other needs
• Not communicating clearly about expectations, demands, feedback and needs with managers and co-workers

How can people recognize when they're overexerting themselves at work?

I'm beginning to think a lot of us are more introspective than we let on, but we may need help figuring out how to redirect ourselves. Carroll says, "Most clients I have worked with know on some level that they’re overdoing it. They feel the stress, and they may know that they need help in coping with it in healthier ways. But they often haven’t figured out how to unwind the situation that’s been created."

She suggests practicing self-reflection, priority and boundary setting, and often, self compassion and grace for yourself. I probably sound like a broken record, but I wholeheartedly believe we could be kinder to ourselves. Sometimes we place so much expectations on ourselves based on what society, family, or even our friends think.

Carroll says, "Burnout isn’t always a situation of overexertion, however. Sometimes it’s a mismatch between the role and our values, ethics or needs, or toxic workplace situations that can feed burnout as well. And in those cases, you might not recognize it at first."

Unfortunately, toxic workplaces are far more common than any of us like and can add to the stress we place on ourselves to perform our duties well. This can cause us to lose sight of what's truly important to us at our core. Carroll says, "It’s important to identify your core stressors so that you can address those. Burnout is not always about being busy."

What are signs someone is experience burnout?

Knowing that doesn't mean you're still able to understand if you're experiencing burnout or not though. "Burnout can look many ways — you might find yourself feeling stressed more often or less able to deal with your stressors," Carroll says. "There may be tiredness leading to exhaustion, brain fog, not thinking clearly, or a feeling of running on fumes."

That's always my first sign that I'm feeling burned out. I prioritize sleep because it helps me function the way I'm supposed to, but being sleepy is different from feeling tired on a soul level. There have been times where my alarm has gone off in the morning before work and it feels like I have to drag myself out of bed.

Another indicator that could be experiencing burnout is by losing enthusiasm at your dream job. "You might also be losing interest in the work, feeling like you can’t keep up or that the effort is futile. Often I hear 'I just don’t feel like myself. I’m not usually like this,'" Carroll says.

What happens when burnout completely overwhelms someone even if they love their job?

This is the part that makes working at your dream job so difficult IMO. I've talked to people who love what they do, but can't find the motivation to keep performing at the high level everyone expects them to.

"Being in full burnout is a physical and mental crisis point. You may feel depressed, lost, numb, exhausted. Your physical and mental health suffers, as well as your joy and often this has an impact on your wider relationships," Carroll indicates.

There's nothing worse than snapping at the people you love because you're stressed and don't know how to communicate that it's because of your dream job. It can take a lot to admit things are tough because you may not want to feel like you're complaining about something you've always wanted.

How can someone have a healthy relationship with work while prioritizing their mental health?

Burnout is real, it doesn't have to be a permanent thing. One of The Sims 4 characters I was playing developed the 'workaholic' trait and it got to the point where even she came home with the burnout moodlet.

She only had 24 hours to change it before it started affecting the quality of her work so I had to find ways to help her relax. The only thing that truly helped was taking PTO and allowing her to unwind at a spa, spend time with her loved ones, and indulge in hobbies that had nothing to do with work. Eventually, I helped her get rid of the workaholic trait because it was causing more harm than good.

Though that's a simulation game, I can imagine this happens to people. We have to decide we're willing to change how we approach our dream jobs so we're able to still function in our daily lives.

Carroll says, "Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries — with ourselves and with others — is a key point. Even when it’s your dream job, even when it’s demanding, your work is still one part of the larger picture of your life. Start with what is firmly in your control and make changes there first — there may be workplace changes to consider, but that comes second."

She says this can look like:

• Placing limits on working after hours
• Setting technology boundaries
• Being transparent about workload and priorities
• Learning to say no
• Reorganizing or blocking out parts of your schedule and potentially initiating new conversations with your leaders and colleagues where needed

What emotions might someone feel if they realize their dream job isn't what they expected?

It's disappointing when certain things we thought we wanted aren't what we need or even like. It doesn't matter whether we're learning how to get over a crush or feel like our dream job has become a nightmare.

"When our dream job turns out to be less a dream than expected, it’s natural to feel disappointed, sad, disillusioned or even grief. Depending on the situation, there may be resentment and anger as well if the job was misrepresented, or self doubt and questioning yourself and your decisions," Carroll says.

It doesn't always feel good, but letting yourself feel whatever emotion or thought comes up will help you get through the breakdown of having a dream job that's not what you expected it to be. Carroll says, "It’s important that you allow yourself time and space to understand what you’re feeling and to process that before deciding what to do next. There may be ways to job craft a more fulfilling experience, or you might decide to look at alternatives."

How can someone pivot towards something different if they want to leave their dream job?

Thinking about stepping away from your dream job in favor of telling burnout to take a hike? This is a judgement-free zone so just know you're able to do that if it makes sense to pivot in a different direction. However, Carroll does advise you to be mindful before making a potentially life-changing decision.

"The first step I always advise clients who want to step away from their role — dream job or not — is to assess the situation from a bigger picture before acting," she says.

• Take the time to understand what you’ve appreciated most about the role, what you didn’t and what you’re complete with/longing for at this stage of your career. Take stock of what’s most important to you and what is fueling your desire for change.
• Assess your strengths, skillsets, interests, and career values. A career coach can be a valuable ally to understand how you might you lean into these more as you decide where to pivot.
• Activate your future by exploring new career roles that build on the foundation you have, but stretch you in the ways you desire and meet your larger life goals. Then do your homework. Go out and explore potential roles through research, networking, job shadowing and interviewing. Testing out your ideas helps you move forward with clarity and confidence before investing in a job search or retraining.

Dinner Time Live With David Chang: Holiday Edition — On Netflix Now Until December 10

Nothing says the holidays like tons of delicious meals, and Chef David Chang is cooking some amazing food for his celebrity friends — and he's doing it all live. (Because, a lot of TV cooking uses swaps and stylists to make it look better than it actually is). I'm getting hungry just thinking about it!

Dinner Time Live With David Chang: Holiday Edition is hosted by David Chang.

Meet Me Next Christmas — On Netflix November 6

Christmas in New York City is truly a magical experience, and Layla's looking for her own fairytale romance this holiday season. And believe it or not, the ticket to finding her one true love is getting into the Pentatonix Christmas Eve Concert.

Meet Me Next Christmas streams November 6 and stars Christina Milian, Devale Ellis, Kofi Siriboe, Tymika Tafari, Mitch Grassi, Scott Hoying, Kirstin Maldonado, Kevin Olusola, Matt Sallee, Kalen Allen, Nikki Duval, and Wesley French.

Hot Frosty — On Netflix November 13

Nobody puts me in the holiday spirit like seeing Lacey Chabert onscreen, and this year, she's playing Kathy, a widow who happens to bring a handsome snowman to life. (I don't remember this in the "Frosty the Snowman" lyrics!). He helps Kathy reconnect with her emotions as they begin to fall for each other — and as he begins to melt.

Hot Frosty will stream on Netflix beginning November 13 and stars Lacey Chabert, Dustin Milligan, Craig Robinson, Joe Lo Truglio, Katy Mixon, Lauren Holly, and Chrishell Stause.

It's almost time for Virgin River season 6, which means we're getting closer to the ultimate cozy TV show. I mean, just look at those twinkly lights and pine trees in this preview image! It gives me the same exact feeling as drinking a mug of hot cocoa. This year, we're getting closer to Mel and Jack’s wedding, and confronting some serious secrets and drama along the way. This might not count as a Netflix holiday movie but I couldn't NOT include it!!!

Virgin River season 6 hits Netflix November 19 and stars Alexandra Breckenridge, Martin Henderson, John Allen Nelson, Tim Matheson, Annette O’Toole, Colin Lawrence, Benjamin Hollingsworth, Zibby Allen, Sarah Dugdale, Marco Grazzini, Mark Ghanimé, Kai Bradbury, Kandyse McClure, Jessica Rothe, and Callum Kerr.

Remember that One Tree Hill episode where the Ravens take part in the "Boy Toy" charity auction? Complete with a shirtless fashion show? Consider this the Netflix holiday movie response. When former dancer Ashley learns her parents' performing venue is in danger, she puts together the ultimate Christmas-themed show to raise money. Shirts not included.

The Merry Gentlemen hits Netflix November 20 and stars Britt Robertson, Chad Michael Murray, Marla Sokoloff, Beth Broderick, Michael Gross, Maxwell Caulfield, Hector David Jr., Colt Prattes, and Marc Anthony Samuel

Spellbound — On Netflix November 22

Okay, this fantasy movie might not technically be a Christmas movie, but it has everything I need in my Netflix holiday movies: family, hope, and love. After her parents are turned into monsters, princess Ellian must go on the ultimate quest to put everything right.

Spellbound hits Netflix November 22 and stars Rachel Zegler, John Lithgow, Jenifer Lewis, Nathan Lane, Tituss Burgess, Javier Bardem, and Nicole Kidman.

Our Little Secret — On Netflix November 27

If EXmas taught us anything, it's that spending the holidays with your ex is anything but calm. And in Lindsay Lohan's new movie, she finds herself at the same Christmas celebration as her ex when they realize their new SO's are siblings. No, that's not awkward at all.

Our Little Secret hits Netflix November 27 stars Lindsay Lohan, Ian Harding, Tim Meadows, Jon Rudnitsky, Henry Czerny, Judy Reyes, Chris Parnell, Kristin Chenoweth, Dan Bucatinsky, Katie Baker, Jake Brennan, Ash Santos, and Brian Unger.

Is It Cake? Holidays — On Netflix November 28

The only thing more enjoyable than eating delicious food is watching master bakers create beautiful food. This holiday special features edible ice skates, nutcrackers, and reindeer that will change the way you look at baking forever. Watch it in one sitting and it definitely counts as a holiday movie ;).

Is It Cake? Holidays hits Netflix November 28 and stars Jonny Manganello, Andrew Fuller, April Julian, Elizabeth Rowe, Miko Kaw Hok Uy, Danya Smith, Henderson Gonzalez, Grace Pak, and Jujhar Mann, with judges Rachel Bloom, Hannah Berner, Tiffany Haddish, Devon Walker, James Austin Johnson, Chris Witaske, Sasheer Zamata, Terry Crews, Punkie Johnson, and Randall Park.

The Snow Sister — On Netflix November 29

Julian's turning 11 on Christmas Eve, and even though it's usually the best day ever, this year is overshadowed by the death of his older sister. A newfound friendship with Hedwig helps him heal, but he can't help but feel like Hedwig's house — and the old man that's always around — are hiding secrets.

The Snow Sister hits Netflix November 29 and stars Mudit Gupta, Celina Meyer Hovland, Ole Steinkjer Øyen, Jan Sælid, Samsaya, Gunnar Eiriksson, and Advika.