Yara Shahidi Is Literally "Sitting In Bars With Cake" In Her New Movie

Despite the fact One Tree Hill might not have been considered the golden child at the time, the series has garnered a cult following since its on-air days, drawing fans to Wilmington, North Carolina for its anniversary celebration, and nearly breaking the internet when news of a sequel series leaked online.

"It's very, very early development," Burton says. "And so what has been really cool for us? And when I say us, I mean the entire cast, like everybody and our old crew, they're all really proud of the work that we did back then too. And so to see the public support this little show we made 20 years later, that's so special and it's so rare. And I love that, even though that news was leaked, Netflix gets to see that public outpouring of support. That's cool. So, fingers crossed we'll make it to the next step."

Burton was in her twenties for the majority of OTH, and while she (alongside other female cast members of the show) have since vocalized the mistreatment they experienced from showrunner Mark Schwahn, the challenges of her twenties don't overshadow the accomplishments.

"I was not afraid to say difficult things in my twenties," she says. "And what I can tell other people in their twenties is that the long game will pay off. If you say the difficult thing and you say the truth, and you don't mask and you don't make up an alternative narrative, people will eventually realize that you were right."

Although the people pleaser in all of us might not want to rock the boat, she praises young people who refuse to accept toxicity: "We definitely have a feistier generation coming up than what I grew up in."

With her fiery attitude and sharp sense of humor, I have no problem believing Burton was one of the feistiest women of her generation, and she now finds herself advocating for a new phase in her own life: perimenopause. The actress is currently partnering with OLLY for their new Mellow Menopause supplements, bringing awareness to a conversation that should have been happening all along.

Burton never really had a menstrual cycle until she started birth control, which messed with her hormones and led to a Xanax prescription she never needed. And as she aged, she moved from having pain during her period to having it during ovulation. "I felt like there was something really wrong with me because no one had explained that could happen," she says. "So the more we can throw out what the symptoms are, I think the calmer people will be in their exploration of their own bodies."

Knowledge and education are power, and Burton firmly believes the more you understand your body, your hormones, and your emotions, the safer you'll feel. But that's only one silver lining she's found.

"I've talked about the feminine rage that I feel like I've earned," she says. "That Kesha song 'Joyride' came out this summer. She says, 'I've earned the right to be like this.' And I was like, 'Yeah, of course.' I think we spend our twenties experimenting. We spend our thirties kind of, like, establishing our careers and what our goals are. And then our forties are about knowing who we are and owning it. And if biology wants to come out swinging, I think we're in a place where we can control that and we can handle it."

That isn't to say perimenopause hasn't come without its unexpected moments, like having to convince others she really was experiencing perimenopause, despite being "too young." "The more research I did, and then in talking to my doctor, my instinct was right," she reveals. "I was beginning the [menopause] journey, and rather than try to hide it or treat it like a deficit, I get to own it. Now I get to treat it and I get to help other women navigate it. And that feels so much better when you're going through a bad thing, but you know that you're helping someone else through it. It doesn't feel as scary."

But while it's important to be vocal about our experiences, I also can't help but point out how it feels like men never have to talk about aging — they just get to do it and no one bats an eye. "Yeah, I think it's important to act like a man," Burton jokes. She remembers when her husband (actor Jeffrey Dean Morgan) embraced his natural gray hair, no one in the industry considered him too old for Hollywood.

"In fact, people thought he was hotter," she says. "So I wanted to act like a man in that journey [and embrace my own gray hair]. And so the different reaction I had was a little bit startling, but also made me laugh...I want to treat this chapter of my life as my expertise chapter. I know what I'm doing. I've been training for 20 years, 25, it's been a lot and I wanted to acknowledge that I know what I'm doing and when I talk about my body, I want to know exactly what I'm talking about."

And part of that expertise is knowing herself inside and out. On the days Burton doesn't feel like herself, whether because of hormones or mental health, she emphasizes how important it is to actually communicate those feelings. "It has been vital for me to communicate, not just with my husband, but with my teenage son," she says. "I want him to grow up to be the kind of man that's supportive of the women in his workplace and the women in his life. You know, we all talk about how we need to educate our daughters, but we also need to educate our sons."

And looking back on her own teenage years, Burton reveals her experience with perimenopause has actually reinforced the values she identified during that period in her life. "I think being a teenager and seeing these people who were gods [in the industry], seeing how insecure and unhappy some of them were really tipped me off right away," she says. "Success is being okay in your little bubble, being okay in your bedroom at night when you're alone by yourself. And so my goals have always kind of centered on, 'Do I feel okay when I'm all by myself?' and menopause is one of those things that can rattle that safety for people."

"It's about knowing who you are so much that no one else can take it away from you," she continues. "And whether it's your work or a sh—ty boyfriend or whatever, you have to know yourself so well that no one can take it away, and menopause can mess with that sometimes. And I'm gonna fight like hell to keep who I am."

- YouTube

The movie stars Lively alongside America Ferrera, Alexis Bledel, and Amber Tamblyn, AND served as Lively's film debut. “She did absolutely wonderful as Bridget,” Jason said (via People), while Travis agrees, "I thought Bridget’s story was the most relatable and most fun.”

Bridget's arc (going to soccer camp, hooking up with her coach, and finally having to face the reality of her mom's passing) is actually really mature, and something a lot of readers could relate to. But there are also plenty of moments that make you smile as a viewer — like that early morning run to "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfeld!!

“A lot of the movie is just Bridget running,” Jason says. “I gotta admit, not the best run. Blake, I love you, it does not strike me as a star athlete run.”

“But it was impressive,” Travis added. “She has good endurance, though, because running like that and to be talking? I would be f—ing gassed and would be way worse at trying to spit my lines out."

The brothers also admitted they were confused about the pants of it all, considering they didn't think the jeans had much to do with the actual story. Well, Blake Lively had something to say about that, and dropped the wildest piece of Traveling Pants news I've ever heard: the pants weren't part of the original draft.

"@jason.kelce being a natural investigative journalist sniffing out the hidden truth," she jokes. Apparently, in the era of Harry Potter, author Ann Brashares had been advised to add a magical element. "She used the pants as a tangible item to illustrate the sometimes inexplicable magic of the female bond. One that invisibly connects us, near or far."

It's funny to think what the title could have morphed into had Brashares chosen a different trend. "Sisterhood of the Traveling Jeggings didn't quite hit. Now it would be Sisterhood of the Printed Jean Pajama Bottoms," Lively adds. "I'm here for all."

Sisterhood forever!!

What is eldest daughter syndrome?

While The New York Timesreports that eldest daughter syndrome "isn’t an actual mental health diagnosis" — AKA it's not an official disorder recognized in the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) — the symptoms seem to have a very real effect on the people struggling with it. Paruolo explains, "Often times with my clients, we explore 'eldest daughter experiences' as a way to avoid pathologizing this now normalized response to family roles and expectations. The eldest daughter experiences behavioral patterns and emotional experiences that are unique to their birth order in comparison to other siblings."

What does this all mean in practice? Paruolo says that families tend to place a ton more expectations on firstborn children, from achievements to overall responsibilities. According to Paruolo, this can put pressure on these children to lead and set a good example for younger siblings. Over time, that pressure can grow and evolve, leading an eldest daughter to taking on more and more throughout her life — even outside of the family home she grew up in — and cause further complications in their relationships, workplace, and otherwise.

What are the symptoms of eldest daughter syndrome?

Like I said before, you naturally carry a lot of these experiences from childhood into your adult interactions. And while having leadership proclivities and high standards for yourself isn't inherently a bad thing, all of these pressing expectations can morph into more frustrating symptoms later on in life.

Since this isn't an exact diagnosis or disorder (yet), a lot of these symptoms can come from the practical findings from therapists over time. With Paruolo's clients, she's noticed that eldest daughters "might experience symptoms of perfectionism and unrealistic self-induced demands in both workplaces and relationships." She explains that this can look like a lack of delegation or asking for help. Paroulo also notes that eldest daughters may innately "prioritize others' needs before they acknowledge their own" — and if they choose to pick their own needs first, they may end up feeling guilty in the long run.

Each of these symptoms can pop up in an eldest daughter's day-to-day, but they can also have some unfortunate long term effects if they go unaddressed. "Long term effects might look like consciously or unconsciously being placed in a caregiving role, which can lead to burnout in many relationships," Paruolo says. She explains that this "immense pressure" and the climbing responsibilities can eventually cause chronic stress — and potentially even lead to resentment toward family members.

For a fictional — but still practical! — example, let's think about Daphne Bridgerton. In season 1, we immediately see the extreme weight Daphne bears to find a good, respectable marriage that will make her family proud and cement their societal standing even further. That's a ton of pressure for anyone of any age, let alone a 21-year-old woman. Meanwhile, her older brothers Anthony and Benedict are 29 and 27, respectively — and if you remember, they don't seem to nervous about their own standings on the marriage mart, let alone seem eager to marry yet at all.

But Daphne prevails! She marries The Duke of Hastings, conceives a child, and fulfills her family's dreams against all odds. If you thought that would be enough, and that Daphne officially check off her eldest daughter duty, you'd be wrong! In season 2, when Anthony finally decides to navigate his own marriage prospects, the family calls Daphne in for help to give advice and lead them through their struggles. So even though Daphne's started a family of her own (exactly what they wanted and asked of her!), her job is never done. She councils, aids, and doles out an endless supply of love and care.

What can parents do to prevent eldest daughter syndrome?

Parents have a lot to prioritize as they raise their families, but there are some small (but very powerful!) things they can do to help prevent eldest daughter syndrome from getting out of hand. First and foremost, Paruolo wants parents to know how important it is to be mindful of how they speak to their children, regardless of their birth order. She stresses that a parents' voice "often becomes the child's internal voice (and often the harshest critic)."

Next, Paruolo suggests creating a more open environment for the family to talk about their feelings about the family dynamic. By doing so, it seems like this could mitigate that resentment we've talked about before, where an eldest daughter may take on more and more without asking for help and eventually burning out. Paruolo notes you can have these conversations at family dinners or meetings — this offers a set time and place for each person to air their feelings.

Finally, Paruolo wants parents that they should be "mindful of the caregiving responsibilities they place on the eldest" while also "encouraging age-appropriate forms of independence for the children in the house." All these efforts can help "breed healthier dynamics," and hopefully make an eldest daughter's life a little easier, one step at a time.

How can women heal from their eldest daughter syndrome?

After reading all this, it may seem overwhelming to recognize that you're dealing with eldest daughter syndrome. Luckily, your symptoms and struggles don't have to define you because Paruolo has some key advice for healing. "Women can deal with and heal from their oldest daughter syndrome by acknowledging their real and valid experiences," she says. "We don't tell someone with a broken leg to get over it, so the same nurturing and understanding of how the eldest daughter syndrome has shaped them is essential for their journey."

There are a few ways you can truly validate these eldest daughter experiences — and work to move on from them. Paruolo suggests practicing mindfulness in order to notice what your innate behaviors are. She says, "It can be a simple three second pause with the reflective question, 'Am I placing the oxygen mask on someone else before helping myself in this moment?'" In doing this, you're able to create a space where you allow yourself to choose your own needs first — or at least start acknowledging them more clearly.

One of the biggest — and I'd say hardest — practices that Paruolo suggests? Saying no. She says that acclimating to the discomfort of setting boundaries and saying that two-letter word can really help you form better, healthier habits. I know I could definitely do this more.

Finally, Paruolo wants eldest daughters to work on reframing their self-worth. She says, "Get curious about why it's an honor to be you (because it is!) and try to separate it from the caregiver or problem-solver role you have been continuously placed in."

If there's anything to take away from my conversation and research, I'd let it be this: your experiences as an eldest daughter are valid, and you deserve to prioritize yourself! Whether 'eldest daughter syndrome' is in a diagnostic book or not, it's clear that therapists are taking these instances seriously, honoring their clients needs — so why shouldn't you honor your own?

I don't want to end this article hypocritically. I struggle with my own eldest daughter tendencies daily, but it's helpful to know that there are very real steps I can take to make my life easier, to exhale. And maybe one day, these lived experiences we all share will be codified in the DSM-5, allowing future eldest daughters to have a clearer playbook to live by — because you know we love achievable, clear goals. 😉