8 Everyday Victories Worth Celebrating

1. You're never sure what kind of mood your parents will be in before you walk in the living room or kitchen.

Let's put this on record: parenting is tough — especially on top of trying to maintain a work-life balance. But, this doesn't mean you're meant to be unsure of what to expect every time you come around your parents. If you have to "'read the room'" a lot "before speaking," Slavens indicates this is one of the more subtle signs of dysfunction.

This is where you may have learned how to become passive-aggressive if that's something you struggle with. The reason for this is because "clear and direct communication is avoided and/or seen as bad or aggressive," according to Dr. Miller.

2. You tend to feel like you're constantly compared to and in competition with your siblings.

My heart truly wants to believe this isn't intentional behavior from parents, but I can't say I haven't heard people talk about feeling like they'd never measure up to the 'golden child' of their family. You may have felt insecure about your grades, the college you chose to go to, your career goals, or even your physical appearance. Slavens says this "struggle with self-worth or second-guessing yourself constantly" is yet another sign that your family's dynamic wasn't the healthiest.

Also, Dr. Miller says this could've caused you to learn to "shrink yourself in the presence of loved ones." Even worse, you may "feel the need to hide pieces of yourself in order to be loved and accepted."

3. There was constant yelling and screaming during arguments, making you fearful of disagreements or hardships.

If you grew up in a home where arguments always led to screaming and yelling, chances are you're not a fan of loud voices or hard moments. Honestly, Slavens says it's not hard to believe that "conflict make you anxious, even when it’s minor." Unsurprisingly, you may have become a referee during these arguments and currently find yourself being a mediator in your platonic or romantic relationships. Why?

Dr. Miller says, "You constantly feel the need to manage everyone else’s emotions often at the cost of your own needs and wellbeing." You know, to keep the peace.

Here are some more obvious signs you grew up in a dysfunctional family

4. You had to take on a parental role when one of your parents decided to stop being an adult.

I imagine that having an emotionally immature parent is one of the most aggravating and stressful things to deal with. Not only that, but you may have had to help keep the household afloat. You may have had to get a job or two to help pay bills, listening to an adult conversation as your mom or dad laid their problems at your young feet, and more!

If you "family roles were flipped" and you "maybe had to parent your own parents," Slavens says this is a form of emotional dysfunction.

5. You weren't allowed to go anywhere with your friends because your parents wanted to keep an eye on you at all times.

Slavens says boundaries that "didn't exist" or "were rigid and controlling" is a sign your home was a little...interesting. Being concerned about your whereabouts is one thing, but it's another when you're unable to do anything without your parents' eagle-eyes on you. Something as simple as going to the mall with your friends may have become a lecture about the dangers of shoplifting or car wrecks. Again, these are valid concerns but they shouldn't be treated like the verbal form of doom scrolling.

6. You consistently witnessed one of your parents abuse alcohol or drugs at home.

This is a tough because substance abuse is so prevalent in varies socioeconomic statuses and communities. From the functioning alcoholic to the one who becomes belligerent after they've had too much to drink, it always affects those around them. Slavens says if "there was ongoing neglect, substance abuse, or verbal/physical aggression," your home probably didn't safe.

I recognize some of these signs of a dysfunctional family. But that doesn't mean they're affecting my current relationships, right?

I hate to break it to you, but it's possible your childhood wounds have shown up before. "Dysfunctional dynamics don’t stay in childhood — they tend to creep into how you connect with others," says Slavens. Similarly, Dr. Miller agrees that "we typically repeat what we learned at home with our families in our other relationships." How?

"This includes the beliefs and rules we follow, often completely subconsciously, about what can and can’t talk about and why, as well as what emotions are allowed to be expressed, who can express them and how, and how we should or must respond to those people and their emotions," explains Dr. Miller.

Another way to look at this is how Slavens has outlined it:

In Platonic Relationships:

1. Overextending yourself to please others, even at your own expense
2. Feeling like you have to "earn your friends' affections.
3. Avoiding vulnerability because it feels unsafe.

In Romantic Relationships:

1. Struggling to trust your partner or feeling overly suspicious
2. Repeating patterns like dating people who are emotionally unavailable or controlling.
3. Feeling overly responsible for your partner's happiness — or relying on them for yours.

OMG! How do I unlearn habits from my dysfunctional family?

Honestly, everyone has a few bad habits they've carried from their childhood to adulthood. You're not an outlier because some things weren't 100% normal so I don't want you to feel like you're a failure for not having having it all together. "Dysfunction doesn’t have to define your future relationships," Slavens assures. Dr. Miller says you can start to unlearn things "that aren't working for you anymore" by "gathering your family's larger context to gain insight into how and why, for them, the behaviors make sense."

By taking a look at your family's "history and larger social and political contexts" gives you a chance to "see them as whole people with full lives," she says. Once you do that, she believes "you can examine what pieces make sense for you to keep and what parts you'd like to learn to do differently." Her other suggestion? Don't forget you're ability to utilize a "therapist who works systemically, like an LMFT" who "can be a huge support in this process."

Slavens' tips include the following:

1. Practice self-awareness: Notice when a response feels automatic — like people-pleasing or shutting down during conflict — and ask yourself, Is this helping me, or is this a leftover habit from the past?
2. Set boundaries: If your childhood lacked healthy boundaries, learning to say “no” without guilt is a game-changer. Boundaries protect your energy and teach others how to treat you.
3. Learn healthy conflict skills: If conflict made you feel unsafe growing up, it’s natural to avoid it. But healthy conflict is necessary in relationships. Practice expressing your needs calmly and directly.
4. Therapy, therapy, therapy: A good therapist can help untangle the messy, “weird” things that got normalized and give you tools to rebuild healthier ways of relating to yourself and others.
5. Surround yourself with healthier models: Whether it’s friends, mentors, or books/podcasts, seek examples of functional relationships and start observing what feels different.

While you're busy unlearning things, Dr. Miller also wants you to remember something. "Recognize that how your family does something is simply that; how your particular family system figured out and were taught to navigate the world. It isn’t inherently right because you’ve normalized it nor is the way another person or family does it inherently wrong," she says.

Christmas Nail Colors

essie 'Off Tropic'

You can't get your dream Christmas nail designs done without some stellar nail polishes! If your look involves a deep green, this shiny pick will help you pull it off easily. Use it to coat the entire nail for a sultry seasonal mani.

OPI Opaque Light White & Gray Shimmer Nail Polish

With Christmas comes cold, and this nail polish screams icy. Wear it alone or apply it over a traditional Christmas color like red or green!

OPI Infinite Shine 'Bubble Bath'

This baby pink will look gorgeous as a solid coat for Christmas-y dates and dinner parties.

ILNP 'Ruby'

It's red. It's glittery. It's perfect for the holidays!

Essie 'Winter Trend'

Spending Christmas with your besties or roommates? It's time for you to have your first 'Pinkmas' with the sparkly magenta nails to match!

Sally Hansen Insta-Dri 'White on Time'

A super solid white nail polish, alongside a thin nail art brush, can be used to paint snowmen, gift wrap, or snowflakes like some of our featured Christmas nail designs depict.

RARJSM Holographic Gel Polish

For the lazy gal manicurists, this holographic polish will make any light reflect off your nails which is the point during Christmas!

essie 'U Wish'

Embrace the holidays with this fiery red that defies expectations of what a Christmas color should be.

Butter London Patent Shine Nail Polish

This one color will work excellently for minimalist Christmas nail designs – use it to dot, stripe, or wear it on its own.

Revlon 'Iced Mauve'

Sparkles are a must for Christmas, which is why we're heavily eyeing this potent pink.

Christmas Nails Inspo

Nifty-Gifty Gems

Use small nail gems of any color to infuse your Christmas nail designs with festive energy. We're loving red in particular because it just feels luxurious!

Deep Red Elegance

The bold red French tips, in combination with some art deco-inspired golden stars, can really bring your seasonal mani to the next level.

Colorful Christmas Stars

Use a stencil or freehand these tiny stars in different chrome nail colors for a more jolly vibe this year.

(Gift) Wrap It Up

A nail art brush can be used to paint on cutie little Christmas bows like this silvery one!

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Classic Colors

Multicolor nails are not dead – take the trend further for the holidays by crafting your look with a mix of whites, golds, greens, and reds.

Let It Shine

For an understated (yet still spirited) Christmas manicure, glitter will be your go-to. We love the gradient effect that this hand has on!

Merry & Bright

Tiny star details are sure to turn heads this Christmas! You could use any hue, but a standout gold like this one really makes your nails pop!

Undone Beauty Lip To Cheek Palette

I can't say enough good things about this cream blush. It gives a natural, glowy finish, plus a little bit goes a long way on the cheeks. As opposed to powder blushes that require a brush, this pick is so easy to apply – I just use my fingers and tap, tap, tap away until it's all blended in.

The Undone Beauty Lip To Cheek Palette is only $12, too, which makes the value per wear uber-impressive. I've found it works just as wonderfully on bare skin as it does on top of foundation and powder. I can't recommend it enough!

e.l.f. Monochromatic Multi Stick

Surprise, surprise: yet another cream blush on my list of the best drugstore blushes. Though it's tiny in size, this blush stick packs a powerful punch in terms of color. The "non-greasy, lightweight, and nourishing" formula is painfully easy to blend out, and I love that it leaves a subtle shimmer on the cheeks. Extra bonus points for this pick since it's also compatible as an eyeshadow and lipstick!

NYX Sweet Cheeks Soft Cheek Tint

One of my best friends, Em, swears by this liquid blush from NYX: they say it's pigmented, very blendable, and that a little goes a long way. When it's on their cheeks, it looks airbrushed as ever. "I have big cheeks and it highlights them and I think that’s precious," they shared with me.

NYX Buttermelt Powder Blush

This powder blush has a super buttery feel to it, making it one of the most unique blushes of this year. The formula is infused with mango, almond, and shea butters for a very seamless blend, no matter the shade. The available shades range from punchy corals to vibrant purples, so you're sure to find something that works perfectly for your beautiful cheeks!

Per an Amazon reviewer that left a 5-star rating: "NYX has really stepped up their game! The quality and packaging are amazing for ten dollars. This blush will last me for years. All you need is one dash with the brush. Seriously. And the case is solid and cute as heck."

Pixi On-The-Glow Blush

It's no secret that this blush stick went TikTok-viral in 2024. Beauty fans fell in love with how easy it is to apply and the gorgeous glow a single swipe leaves behind.

"As someone who has always struggled with blush due to redness combined with fair skin, this blush is perfect for me. Finally!" one Amazon reviewer writes. "It goes on beautifully, leaves a pretty sheen and a perfect shade of light pink."

e.l.f. Camo Liquid Blush

If a dewy finish is what you're in the market for, look no further than this liquid blush from e.l.f. It promises rich pigment and a long-lasting effect that's worthy of everyday wear. Fans of the blush say a little drop can go a very long way, so it's best to start the application with a little bit of product and build it up. Pretty impressive for a $7 blush!

A promising review: "The blush is creamy and easy to apply. There is no steakiness as with powder blush. Color control is great because you can use one layer or more if needed for your skin tone. A small dot of this does go a long way on my medium fair skin. I love the peachy tone which gives my skin a real pick up. No bad smell or sticky texture. Powder can easily be applied overtop in about 30-60 seconds after it has set into the skin. Love this product. There is a shade for everyone !!! Great price as well. Just buy it!!!!"

Milani Baked Blush

"I’m no makeup expert, but I LOVE my Milani blush in shade Romantic Rose," one Redditor stated about this drugstore pick. The buildable formula is available in both matte and shimmer shades to suit your own makeup preferences. I used the shimmery shade Luminoso religiously in high school, and can certify that it truly delivers a supernatural glow.

MCoBeauty Cheek And Lip Tint

Glossier Cloud Paint dupe, anyone? This liquid-y blush formula is highly blendable and can take you from a natural sheer hint to an intense pop of color within a few layers.

"This lip and cheek is a great multitasking product with a long-lasting formula," one Amazon reviewer said. "Just a little dab applied to my cheeks, gave me an instant glowing blush. A little bit really does go along way, so be sure just to apply a very small amount and build up from there."

ColourPop Blush Stix

This blush stick boasts a "skin-like" formula that's easy to apply with your fingers, a sponge, or a brush. It's also easy to bring with you on the go for reapplication! The only downside is the shade range is considerably limited.

Physicians Formula Murumuru Strawberry Jam Blush

Not only is this one of the best drugstore blushes, it's also one of the cutest drugstore blushes. Just look at those lil' berries! It even smells like strawberries. The formula contains murumuru, cupuaçu, and tucuma butters, all of which are helpful in moisturizing the skin.

One Amazon reviewer notes that: "It's a pretty color and gives a nice glow," but "The scent is nice but some might find it overwhelming."