5 Ways You Can Use Your Phone to Improve Your Mental Health

phone mental health

Smartphones often get a bad rap when it comes to mental health. It's partly because they're the gateway to social media, which leads to the potential pitfalls of comparing your real life to other people's perfectly curated feeds. And it's partly because some studies have found that they can be addictive, although the research on that is a work in progress. But totally dismissing smartphones deprives us of a powerful tool that can be used to make us feel calmer, more productive, and less stressed. Check out these five ways you can use your phone to promote good mental health.


1. Take a photo a day. Instagram food pics, anyone? A study published in the journal Health spent two months following eight people who were already engaged in taking and posting a photo a day to a sharing site to see how the practice affected their mental health. The participants reported a range of benefits; for example, the project prompted them to be more mindful and to take time out to do something for themselves, even on a busy day. Knowing that they had to find something to photograph gave them a reason to leave the house and a sense of purpose and structure.

In addition, the online community who commented on and liked the photos gave some of them a sense of belonging, although others reported that the obligation to respond to these followers made them feel overwhelmed. Those who had been going through a personal struggle said that having a record of photos was a visual reminder that they'd made it through. The authors noted that since their subjects were already involved in their own “photo a day" project, the people most likely to get these benefits are those who already have an interest in taking and sharing photos. So if that sounds like you, grab your phone, open Insta, and give it a go.

2. Use a mental health app. Easily accessible and often free, mental health apps are another layer of support if you're having a difficult day and can't make it to an extra support group session. One study looked at reviews of various apps and found that they can improve the symptoms of conditions such as depression and anxiety.

Different apps serve different mental health needs. If you need information, or a reminder to take medication, you can try text message services, which means you can receive information anonymously. Other apps, like What's Up (free on Android and iOS) and MoodTools (free on Android and iOS) are designed specifically for people with mild to moderate depression and are more interactive, combining activities based on cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and other therapeutic practices. These include thought trackers so you can monitor your positive and negative moods, diaries secure from prying eyes, breathing techniques, distraction games, and information on symptoms and treatments. Another app that could help with anxiety is iBreathe (free on iOS) which guides you through deep breathing exercises.

A study in the Journal of Medical Internet Research noted that some users reported that they used these apps instead of paying for a therapist. However, many of the app websites note that they are designed as supplements, rather than replacements, for seeing a mental health professional.

3. Make a playlist. There's a reason listening to your favorite song is an instant mood boost. Research has shown that music can stop the production of the stress hormone cortisol and can help reduce the emotional distress of physical pain. An analysis of 25 studies that was published in the World Journal of Psychiatry found that music therapy can be an effective and non-invasive treatment for mood disorders and depression in patients with neurological conditions. And it's not just classical music: The genre of music most likely to get you into an easygoing and creative frame of mind is… any genre you like. While scientists used to think that listening to Mozart specifically had a positive influence on the brain, further research has since shown that the kind of music is less important than your enjoyment of it. So own your Swiftie sessions; it's good for your mental health.

4. Watch cat videos. According to what may be the greatest study of all time, those adorable videos of cats you can't get enough of really do count as a form of self-care. Published in the journal Elsevier, the study looked at why people watch cat videos online and the potential pros and cons. The researchers found, to no one's surprise, that people watch cat videos as a method of “mood management," and that after watching cats on the internet, viewers reported lower levels of negative emotions and more positive emotions, and were re-energized. However, the researchers pointed out that your enjoyment of cat videos may be slightly lower if you're using them to procrastinate from something important, since that might tinge your viewing experience with guilt — so save them for cocktail hour.

5. Use a guided meditation app. Always wanted to try meditation but don't know where to start? Amanda Ruiz, MS, LPC, Pennsylvania-based counselor and founder of The Counseling Collective, recommends apps to get you in the habit. “The first few times you attempt to meditate can be difficult; it might be hard to notice your senses, or to stay focused on one positive thought. Apps like Calm and Headspace offer guided meditations for those who aren't sure how to get started with meditating." Both Calm (free on Android and iOS, then $12.99/month) and Headspace (free on Android and iOS, then $12.99/month) offer seven-day free trials, with the option to subscribe if you like the app and want access to all the features. Each has meditations on specific topics like sleep, anxiety, and self-esteem, plus mindfulness meditations, breathing exercises, and ways to track your progress. If you struggle to stop your mind from swirling on your own, using these apps can help you build up the practice of meditating into a daily habit, Ruiz explains. Same old smartphone, less stressed you.

How do you use your smartphone to unwind? Tell us about it @BritandCo.

(Photo via Glen Anthony/Unsplash)

This post has been updated.

You and your friends have likely spent countless hours together, decoding everything from imaginationships to the best comfort shows to watch when you're sad. You've probably even settled into a designated role within the group. Maybe you're the super adventurous one, always suggesting friend date ideas for the group to try, while someone else always knows how to comfort everyone when life gets rough. But, have you ever wondered if you're the most empathetic friend in the group? That's easy, just ask Brianna Paruolo, LCMCH. She's the founder and clinical director of On Par Therapyso she knows how to recognize signs you're an empath, plus how to take care of yourself!

TL;DR

  • Empathy is when "you feel what others are feeling."
  • There are physical, emotional, social, and mental signs that you're an empath.
  • You may be an empath if you get physically exhausted after being in crowds, feel anxious or overwhelmed in emotionally charged environments, feel responsible for other people's happiness, or you find it hard to distinguish your own feelings from someone else's.

Are there really assigned roles in friend groups or am I just imagining things?

Gary Barnes

Like I said before, it can seem like you and your friends unintentionally gravitate toward certain 'roles.' It's not like anyone woke up one day and decided, "I'm going to be the 'mother hen' of the group," but it tends to happen. Why?

Paruolo says, "In my clinical work, I've consistently observed that our friendship roles often mirror our early family dynamics. These patterns show up naturally — think about who in your friend group gets the first crisis call, who plans all the gatherings, or who everyone turns to for emotional support." I'm willing to bet you thought of a name for each scenario — including yours — because I know I did!

"Like in families, we each fall into specific roles that feel familiar to us," Paruolo further explains.

What actually makes someone an empathetic person?

cottonbro studio

There's so many definitions for empathy, but I thought it would be wise to ask a licensed professional for her opinion on the matter. "Empathy means to feel what others are feeling. You do not have to have a personal direct experience with something to feel empathy for another person," shares Paruolo.

For example, your friend could call to tell you she has to have fibroid removal surgery and is feeling scared. You may have never had surgery, but you could find yourself feeling the need to comfort her in spite of this. Paruolo says, "The cool thing about our brains is that we have mirror neurons, which means part of our brain is set up to feel what others feel. The ability to attune to others' emotional states comes naturally to some people, while others may need to develop this capacity more consciously."

Yaroslav Shuraev

To break it down even further, here's signs that Paruolo says point to your empathetic nature.

Physical Signs:

  • Getting physically exhausted after being in crowds
  • Feeling drained after social interactions, even enjoyable ones (OMG I feel so seen!)
  • Needing extra time alone to recharge

Emotional Signs:

  • Absorbing other people's emotions like a sponge
  • Feeling anxious or overwhelmed in emotionally charged environments
  • Finding it hard to watch violence or cruelty in movies/TV

Social Signs:

  • Feeling responsible for others' happiness
  • Having trouble saying "no" to people who need help

Mental Signs:

  • Picking up on subtle changes in others' moods
  • Being highly attuned to body language and tone
  • Finding it hard to distinguish your feelings from others' feelings

It sounds like I'm the empathetic friend, but are there any downsides to this?

Mikhail Nilov

I've been an empath for as long as I can remember and I've found that I have to 'recharge' my social batteries at times. I thought it was because I was trying to be superwoman by fixing others' problems, but it turns out theres more to it than that. Paruolo says, "Empathetic friends and people have an uncanny ability to sense others' emotional states even when unspoken, and frequently need recovery time after intense social interactions. They tend to be deeply affected by others' experiences and naturally consider situations from multiple perspectives."

In the long run, she says it can be "distressing" for some people to always feel the feelings of others. Over time, she says, "it can cause you to shut down and retract." This can look like not being as quick to respond to the funny memes your friends send you or not even answering their phone calls right away.

cottonbro studio

But, this doesn't mean you're the only person who tends to go through this. "Many empaths struggle with maintaining boundaries due to their deep emotional attunement," she says. Color me guilty because this sounds so much like me. It got so bad at one point that my sister nicknamed me 'Captain Save-A-Lot,' which is actually the clean version of what she truly meant. Still, empathy fatigue is no laughing matter nor does it mean you're defected. You just have the natural ability to show people their feelings are important to you.

How can I protect my peace as the empathetic friend?

Kaboompics.com

You know you need to set boundaries, but what does that mean? Paruolo says, "The key is understanding that empathy needs to be balanced with compassion - it's not just about feeling others' emotions but also knowing how to help without depleting yourself."

One of the things she loves to do is "encourage empaths to set clear boundaries around their emotional availability and make time for regular grounding exercises." As with gratitude journaling, try to focus on an activity that calls for you to be present. Focus on what you can hear, see, touch, taste, and smell.

"Self-care isn't just a luxury; it's essential maintenance for empaths. This might mean scheduling alone time, finding a supportive therapist, or joining communities where you can process your experiences," Paruolo implores.

I know how to be there for others, but how do I ask for emotional support when I need it?

Vitaly Gariev

You may feel like it's impossible to ask others for help since your shoulders are the ones people cry on, but you're only doing yourself a disservice by not speaking up. No one's super resilient or able to handle all of their distressing feelings alone. We're not meant to.

It's the reason Paruolo wants you to speak up about what you need. "The most effective approach I've seen is being direct about your needs rather than hoping others will figure them out," she says. I made this mistake during postpartum and found myself expecting my family & friends to know exactly how I felt, but they're not mind readers. The more I verbally asked for help with little or big tasks, the more my mental and emotional load lightened.

Paruolo wants you to look at "asking for support as strengthening your friendships through trust and vulnerability, instead of waiting until you're overwhelmed." By the time you reach that point, you'll be ready to enter rage or full-blown shut down mode and they're not fun.

Avoid unlocking their proverbial doors by scheduling "regular check-ins with trusted friends," suggests Paruolo. "This creates a sustainable support system and helps prevent emotional crisis points.

We have even more self-care stories for you to dive into if you need a mental and emotional boost!

Things are heating up betweenSelena Gomez and Benny Blanco since late last year to the surprise of some, but it seems like the couple's romance is just getting started. They're not shy about PDA and posting each other on social media and pretty much telling anyone who doesn't like it to get lost. We love how fiercely supportive they are of each other, giving us so many good green flags! Here's everything we know about the lovely new couple so far.

Selena Gomez And Benny Blanco's Relationship Timeline:

Amy Sussman/Getty Images

March 2019

Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco first collaborated on the song "I Can't Get Enough" along with Tainy and J. Balvin in 2019. Though they were featured in a cute scene together, there weren't any rumors about them being romantically linked then.

August 2023

They didn't work together again until late summer 2023 when he produced Selena's single "Single Soon" with Cashmere Cat.

Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

December 2023

Before 2023 ended, Selena started leaving comments on Instagram that suggested she and Benny Blanco were in fact together. One of the comments she left appear on this Instagram fan page and it reads, "He is my absolute everything in my heart."

Some fans weren't so thrilled to see the two together though and they weren't afraid to express their opinions. But, this only prompted Selena to leave more comments that defended her relationship with Benny.

People grabbed a screenshot of one of the comments Selena responded that revealed the couple had been together for a while. "Not mad. It’s been 6 months bb. I will always defend my friends, family and fans till the day I die," she wrote. They even shared another screenshot from Selena's Instagram Story that showed her wearing a "B" ring on one of her fingers.

Craig Barritt/Getty Images for TIME

December 15, 2023

Soon after that, Selena shared a photo carousel on Instagram that included some of her favorite moments in New York and Benny Blanco can be seen in BTS moments. The last picture of the carousel features them sharing a kiss in a black and white photo that basically confirms the responses the singer had for fans.

December 28, 2023

Before the new year began, Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco spent some time at a cute art exhibit during a date. From the looks of things, it seemed like they discovered their love language of physical touch early on.

Presley Ann/Getty Images for GQ

January 2, 2024

Feeling the love of being with Selena, Benny Blanco took to Instagram Stories to officially signal that the two are dating. People grabbed a few more screenshots that Benny shared and all we can see is the happy glint that was in Selena's eyes.

Sarah Stier/Getty Images

January 3, 2024

The next day the couple were seen court side at one of the Los Angeles Lakers' game. Once again, their love language was on full display in the most intimate way. A source revealed to People that they understood why people had so many opinions about Selena's relationship with Benny. "Everyone was a fan of hers before Only Murders [in the Building], and now everyone is protective of her."

Neilson Barnard/Getty Images

January 15, 2024

Later that month, Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco showed up to the Emmy Awards together. They were sitting side-by-side and weren't afraid to show affection with each other.

Jesse Grant/Getty Images for AFI

March 2024

When Benny Blanco's birthday rolled around, Selena Gomez shared a sweet message to him on Instagram. She wrote, "Happy birthday baby! Your emotional endurance, positive disposition, unbelievable talent (that blows me away), undeniable humor and loving, kind heart absolutely kill me. I love you @itsbennyblanco 🎂🥹."

Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

April 2024

Although we're only four months into the new year, Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco's relationship is still going strong! The Only Murders in the Building star has been seen smiling in every pic she posts which indicates she's genuinely happy in her relationship. A source hinted to People that the two are doing well. "It’s a very serious relationship, and they’re making long distance work while she’s in New York for work commitments," they said.

Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images for Spotify

April 25, 2024

In an interview with WSJ, Benny Blanco gave his POV of how his relationship with Selena Gomez began and it was the cutest revelation. "It’s crazy how your partner could just be sitting there the whole time, right in front of your eyes...And then you have a Clueless moment where you're like, Wait, I'm in love," he says.

A man who compares his relationship to that moment in Clueless where Cher and Josh admit their feelings for each other gets brownie points from us!

May 15, 2024

It looks like Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco's relationship may be ready for the next step — that's if you ask Mr. Blanco. He appeared on The Howard Stern Show yesterday to chat about everything, including his relationship with Selena. When Howard Stern asked, "You want to have kids with Selena? Have you told her you want to have kids yet," Benny replied, "That’s my next goal, to check the box. I have a ton of godkids. I've got a ton of nephews. I love being around kids."

However, he's not in a rush and wants everything to happen naturally. All that matters is that the two of them are in each other's life. He said, "I just know that when I look at her, I just say, ‘I don’t know a world where it could be better than this.’ That’s what I always say to her.”

Neilson Barnard/Getty Images

May 29, 2024

Selena Gomez tells TIME just how much Benny Blanco means to her — no matter what anyone else says. "My own fans, who I adore and feel like have shaped who I am, will say the most hurtful things to me about how I live my life," she says. "But he has the strength in him that none of that noise fazes him. It’s really impressive, and I just cherish every moment with him. I don’t know what the future holds, but I do know that he’s not going anywhere any time soon.”

Selena Gomez/Instagram

October 27, 2024

Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco looked amazing in their Alice in Wonderland couple's Halloween costume. "Curiouser and curiouser," Selena wrote on the post, which is totally reminding us of Taylor Swift's 1989 (hello "Wonderland"!!!).

Selena wore a corset dress in what looks like slate blue with cap puffed sleeves and a tulle skirt, along with a blonde wig, black bow, and slingback shoes. Benny went all out as the Mad Hatter with face paint, a wig, a top hat, and a waistcoat. We'd follow them down the rabbit hole!

November 11, 2024

Benny Blanco's been featured in People's'Sexiest Man Alive' issue and we're kind of feeling it! What started off as an unlikely choice for Selena has turned into a deep understanding of why she loves him so much. The man is an excellent host, cook, and gentleman which makes him an off-the-charts lover. And when it comes to date night, he believes in making sure every time is special. "I [still] go all out for every date. It doesn't mean spending your entire bank account. It means being attentive and listening," he said.

His most memorable dates with Selena involve the times she "rented out a whole botanical garden" and he "got her Taco Bell" before proceeding to make her "movie-theater nachos" and deep-frying her "favorite pickles from Texas" for Valentine's Day.

He also gushed about his favorite time of the day. "I'm a real morning person. It's my favorite time to spend with Sel, because we both wake up really early. It's like our moment before the rest of the world wakes up." Not only that, but the music producer is thrilled he has "a true best friend" he gets to spend his life with.

What do you think about Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco's relationship?Follow us on Facebook for more celebrity news!

This post has been updated.

Lately, we've been faced with anxiety everywhere we turn. It's okay if (like us), you don't always know how to deal with the toughest of times, especially when the tough times never seem to end. If you are feeling that way, we're right there with you! Our team has always shared the ways we cope with our personal stressors over the years, and we wanna share these quick and easy tips for how to calm down with you! Keep reading for our recommendations — hopefully they can help the next time you're feeling anxious.

Thirdman

Intentional Thoughts

I'm someone who has a hard time letting things go; I can agonize over one thought or situation for days! Because of this, I focus a lot on taking thoughts captive, which just means pinpointing anxious thoughts and replacing them with what I know is true.

When I have an anxious thought, I do a creative visualization exercise in which I imagine it's inside a bubble floating over my head. Then I slam an imaginary door over the memory and lock it. Then the bubble explodes and the thought doesn't exist anymore. It's not necessarily pretending like it never happened, but it does allow me to exercise some control over what I allow myself to spend time and energy thinking about.

—Choe Williams, Entertainment Editor

Mikhail Nilov

Breathing Techniques

My mom is a Pre-K teacher and suggested I try the breathing exercises she does with her kids who are just four years old (I'm 31 for context). The first is called Mountain Breathing, which entails holding up your hand and tracing the outline of your fingers. As you climb up the mountain (or your finger), inhale, and as you trace down into the valley between your fingers, exhale. Another breathing visualization she recommends is as you inhale, imagine yourself breathing in to smell the flowers, and exhale to blow out a candle. These little imaginative scenarios help me get out of my head and focus on my breathing when I need a little reset throughout the day.

Hammock Swinging

Whenever I'm feeling super stressed, I head for the hammock I setup in my front yard. Just as rocking can soothe babies, swinging in a hammock is a powerful soother for adults too! I feel super chilled afterwards and am usually getting some Vitamin D while I'm at it for a win-win.

Painting

During the pandemic, I revisited arts and crafts with soft pastels. I started mixing the colors and doing gradient shadings on card stock with my hands, and it proved to be a super meditative way to decompress. The end result is DIY art you can share or pin on your fridge or wall.

—Alison Ives, Head Of Content

KoolShooters

Breathing Techniques

Nothing calms me down quite like alternate-nostril breathing. I first learned about this technique in my yoga classes, but the practice (called Nadi Shodhana in Sanskrit) dates back to the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, which was thought to be written sometime between 200 BC and 200 CE. Put simply, you sit in a comfortable position, close your eyes, and cover one nostril while you breathe in through the other. Then, you switch which nostril you're holding closed, and breathe out. In modern times, the connection between vagal nerve tone (which is correlated with anxiety and emotional regulation) and alternate-nostril breathing is becoming more and more mainstream, which may eventually help us better understand why this practice is so naturally calming.

Tarot Reading

Tarot can mean a lot of different things to different people. For me, I use tarot cards as a method to help me understand what lessons I'm learning at any given time. This has allowed me to view stressors in my life as learning experiences, which has helped me stay calm in numerous crises. I personally like to light some incense or a scented candle, sit quietly, and pull a card to see what resonates. That said, tarot and its associated images and meanings can be scary or triggering if you don't have a deep and gentle understanding of what the cards mean. I recommend Lindsay Mack's classes and podcasts for anyone who wants to learn about tarot in a non-judgemental, non-predictive, trauma-informed way.

—Maggie McCracken, Former Senior Editor

Gustavo Fring

Sensory Accessories

My recent ways of coping/de-stressing have primarily been spiky sensory finger rings, which are a huge help when I need to get something done and can't stop my day to destress. I grab one of these guys which I have all over the place (most of my jacket pockets + purses), and it helps to calm me down and reset my focus.

Meditation On The Move

Another thing I do that I am trying to integrate into my daily routine is guided meditation walks. As someone who hasn't mastered sitting meditation I've found some on Headspace that I'm enjoying that are specifically for going on a walk through a city.

—Claire Shadomy, Former Graphic Designer

Kate Branch

Baths...

In times of high stress, or after a long day, my go-to is always a candle-lit bath soak. I put a large scoop of Epsom salts in the tub with a few drops of my favorite essential oil and place tea lights all around the tub. It’s like my secret getaway from the rest of the world. I always make a point to leave my phone in the other room too so I utilize the time to just relax in silence. Water triggers the parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for the body's “rest and digest” response. It always gets my heart rate and blood pressure down.

...And Sound Baths

Sound baths are a meditative experience where you’re “bathed” in sound waves. I love to watch them online but you can also create your own experience. I find meditating with a singing bowl so relaxing. It can take a little practice, but once you’ve nailed the hand movement, it’s an interactive way to ease stress and channel your focus elsewhere.

—Allison Cimo, Former Social Media Manager

Brady Knoll

Take A Hike

Pretty much every day in 2020 I walked the trails near my house and I started to pick up a small rock each time. I'd fidget with it while I cleared my mind and let nature calm my nerves. I would throw the rock back into nature after my hike and it felt like a release for all of my worries.

Bedtime Music

My daughter and I listen to Doze sleep music on Headspace before we go to bed. It calms her late-night zoomies (and mine) and gets her to sleep in minutes!

—Theresa Gonzalez, Branded Content Editor

Anastasia Shuraeva

Journaling

What I use for my anxiety is the Intelligent Change Five Minute Journal. I have a safe word in place for when I feel myself spiraling or I'm not able to control my thoughts and breathing.

—Brittney Davis, Account Manager

Subscribe to our email newsletter for more mental health tips delivered right to your inbox!

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

This post has been updated.

Major Outer Banks season 4 spoilers ahead!

ICYMI, Outer Banks season 4 dropped its second half on November 7, and fans have a lot of very strong feelings about it. Despite the fact JJ's entire character arc is about defiance, hope, and being the ultimate Pogue, Outer Banks season 4 ended with his biological dad, a kook named Chandler Groff, killing him in cold blood.

It's an absolutely devastating ending for everyone's favorite character, and fans are having a hard time coping with the loss. The fact we only got 10 episodes of JJ and Kiara together (a relationship written into the show after viewers picked up on the chemistry between Rudy Pankow and Madison Bailey) makes it even worse — and a lot of fans are saying they won't watch the show again.

"I can’t even watch the previous seasons anymore knowing how it all ends," viewer Jordyn Bruder says in an email. "JJ was the literal heart of OBX and he was the glue that held the Pogues together. There is no OBX without JJ."

Outer Banks Fan Reactions To JJ's Death

​In which episode does JJ die?

Jackson Lee Davis/Netflix

JJ dies at the end of Outer Banks season 4 episode 10, "The Blue Crown" after rescuing Kiara from his father Chandler Groff. "I feel mad, betrayed, disappointed and heartbroken to say the least," Bruder adds. "JJ went through a lot of crap through the show and he was the one character who deserved his happy ending the most. When the series first came out, people fell in love with JJ and [Kiara]."

While the cast obviously found out about the ending while filming, fans are frustrated with how they chose to promote the show. "Obviously the cast can’t spoil a character death, but to blatantly lie and mislead fans by saying that Jiara was 'evergrowing' and fans would be happy with how the season plays out?" Bruder says. "Jiara fans deserved so much better than what we got, ESPECIALLY when they knew they were killing JJ off."

Why are Outer Banks fans so upset?

Jackson Lee Davis/Netflix

The show is the kind of phenomenon that made instant stars out of its cast, but it also made waves because of how the first season portrayed issues like classism, substance abuse, and domestic abuse. "As someone who has been around domestic abuse, I think the handling of the character JJ was detrimental culturally," another fan (who would like to remain anonymous) says. "The character suffered abuse at the hands of a man who was not even his biological father, and the writers almost framed it as if that was okay because in the beginning, his father loved him. Instead of telling a story to victims of abuse about hope and making it through trials, the writers went the opposite way. I also find it interesting that they stated this was a planned death. I think writing a character who is suffering from anxiety and clear mental health issues as well as abuse who is very young like JJ only to let him fall in love and kill him right when he starts to feel happiness doesn’t necessarily make a lot of sense narratively."

Another viewer adds that ending JJ's story that way felt "disrespectful...especially when in an interview following the episode, one of the creators literally referred to his death as pointless." She even says "it feels almost like the show died along with him."

Jackson Lee Davis/Netflix

Actress Madelyn Cline (Sarah Cameron) called JJ the "heart of Outer Banks"and for a lot of fans, JJ also became a beacon of hope, a reminder that you can endure, persevere, and come out stronger on the other side. Since the first season of the show dropped during April 2020, it's been one consistent, fun thing for TV fans since the COVID-19 pandemic began, which makes the loss feel even greater.

"Seeing him die at the hands of another abusive father was honestly kind of sickening," the viewer adds. "It’s also unfortunate that his death didn’t seem to mean anything. A character death like this would be one thing if it meant something. If he had died protecting his friends or actively protecting Kiara, rather than having already saved her and then getting killed afterward, it might’ve be easier to get past."

"It’s like a connection to something good and steady was just broken," X user @onlykiep4l says. "Killing a character that has literally gone trough so much trauma and was finally happy just doesn’t make sense. It’s not just the character that’s gone — it feels like a part of the show has ended too."

Why does JJ get killed off?

Jackson Lee Davis/Netflix

Rumors have been circulating for years about behind-the-scenes drama between actors Rudy Pankow and Madison Bailey, which has fans believing Rudy asked to be written off the show(for the record, Outer Banks creators Josh & Jonas Pate and Shannon Burke have said it was the plan from the beginning). With Rudy's exit, the writers had a difficult choice in front of them. JJ isn't the kind of guy to abandon his friends, meaning the writers obviously felt like killing him was the only option. But according to an additional viewer, "Outer Banks hasn't been that type of show."

"To attempt to turn this fun, summer, boat show into some dark, depressing story where the heart of the show is gone destroys everything that the show started out as," she says.

Another anonymous fan calls the choice "a character assassination," adding other moments from the season that feel like a different character than the one fans have come to love: barely reacting to John B. and Sarah's pregnancy announcement, or to the fact Rafe had come to talk to Kiara — especially after his reaction to Rafe catcalling Kie in the first season is a moment that led fans to ship them in the first place.

The fan continues by calling JJ's treatment a "lack of respect" toward the character. "The fact that the writers tried to make us dislike him, to soften the blow of him dying. It didn’t work. It has everyone distraught because many people’s favorite character ended up dying after 'finding happiness' for about 10 minutes in Episode 10."

​Does Sarah get pregnant in Outer Banks season 4?

Jackson Lee Davis/Netflix

But JJ's death isn't the only moment that has fans reeling. In addition to the fact viewers are saying the Pogues barely reacted to the death of their lifelong best friend, Pope is now a murderer and Kiara makes an absolutely chilling vow to get revenge on Groff — a far cry from the characters we fell in love with in season 1.

"Outside of the JJ of it all, a lot of plot lines/dynamics in part 2 felt off," one of our anonymous fans continues. "Sarah’s pregnancy plot line, especially when coupled with the quote from a creator about ‘giving her a baby specifically because she wasn’t ready’ feels incredibly tone deaf given the current state of things here in the US. The fact that there wasn’t even a conversation of if she wanted to continue with the pregnancy felt very icky. Overall, episodes 1-4 of this season did feel like Outer Banks, but everything after that felt like it was from an entirely different piece of media."

Jackson Lee Davis/NetflixYep, 'Outer Banks' Season 4 Just Killed Off THAT Character

However, some fans are excited to see where the show goes from here. "JJ was such a strong character and his presence will obviously be missed, [but] I am excited to see how the Pogues react and what they do to get revenge on Groff," Virginia McGrew says in an email. "I also think that the scene of JJ dying with Kiara was extremely well done and emotional, making his passing even sadder. I ultimately believe that JJ’s passing serves as a reminder of the themes the show."

"JJ made the group even more aware of friendship, the importance of chosen family, and loyalty, which was seen throughout the season and especially in the finale," she continues. "Now that he is gone, the other Pogues will have to step up even more, creating a shift in their dynamic. While many believe that Outer Banks might not be worth watching after this finale, I truly think that it is only going to get even deeper and more interesting."

Let us know your thoughts on the Outer Banks season 4 ending on TikTok. And check out why This Heartbreaking Outer Banks 5 Theory Makes THAT Death Even More Emotional.

Outer Banks season 4 part 2 finally dropped November 7, and after theories were swirling around our favorite Pogues — is Sarah pregnant? Will JJ die? Will the group FINALLY get their hands on some treasure (and NOT lose it?) — we got the answers we'd been waiting for. And unfortunately, not all of them were answers we wanted. Sarah is indeed pregnant but the Pogues finally avenged Terrance, but in the final moments of the Outer Banks season 4 ending, we also lost JJ which is something I literally can't believe I'm writing. JJ and Kiara are the one couple fans latched onto (and that the cast and crew never saw coming) and to finally see them in a relationship only to lose JJ 10 episodes later? I'm heartbroken.

Creators Josh & Jonas Pate and Shannon Burke recently revealed Outer Banks season 5 will be "an epic fifth and final season," and there's one theory going around that makes that finale even more emotional. Here's everything you need to know aboutOuter Banksseason 5. Bring it on home John B.!

  • Outer Banks season 5 will be the last season of the hit Netflix show.
  • The series will follow Kiara and the Pogues getting revenge on Chander Groff for JJ's death.
  • Josh & Jonas Pate and Shannon Burke say "it will be our best [season] yet."


Is JJ really dead?

@unsiredd#obx#outerbanks#jjmaybank#johnbroutledge#johnb#sarahcameron#obx4#fyp#foryou#fireworks♬ Where'd All the Time Go? - Dr. Dog

There are a few theories about how Outer Banks season 5 will handle JJ's death (aside from Kiara's chilling vow to get revenge, of course). Some fans have their fingers crossed the group will use the Blue Crown to wish him back to life, while others are holding onto hope he was simply unconscious. But there's one theory that stands out among the rest to me: JJ is really dead, and this whole time, John B.'s narration has been telling his unborn child about his namesake.

The show teased Sarah and John B. will name their baby JJ, and since Outer Banks is all about family, friendship, and spending time with one another, the reveal that all along, Outer Banks has been the story of the Pogues' adventures would literally be the perfect way to send them off. I'm literally crying just thinking about it.

Will there be a 5th Outer Banks?

Yes, we're getting a fifth and final season of Outer Banks coming to Netflix soon. While we don't have an official release date yet, we're expecting to see the last installment in 2025 or 2026.

In their official letter "to all Pogues," creators Josh & Jonas Pate and Shannon Burke explain how a photo of teenagers on a beach during a power outage inspired them to create the hit show we've all come to know and love. "From this beginning, we imagined a mystery that would lead to a five-season journey of adventure, treasure hunting, and friendship," they say in an official letter. "At the time, seven years ago, it seemed impossible that we would really get to tell the whole five season story, but here we are, at the end of our fourth season, still chopping away."

"Now, with a little sadness, but also excitement, we're putting Season Four behind us and turning to Season Five, in which we hope to bring our beloved Pogues home in the way we imagined and planned years ago," they continue. "Season Five will be our last season, and we think it will be our best yet. We hope you'll join us for one more paddle out to the surf break."

I can't wait to see Outer Banks season 5, and TBH five seasons will round out the show perfectly considering each season focuses on a different Pogue. That means season 5 will probably focus on Sarah alongside Kiara's revenge. 👀 Stay tuned for all the OBX5 info you need to know.

Here's Yep, Outer Banks Season 4 Just Killed Off THAT Character in case you're still processing.