5 Tips for Starting Young Kids Out on Social Media

Erica Loop
Sep 19, 2016

Your Facebook feed is filled with adorable photos of your friends’ kiddos. You open Instagram and see photo after photo of babies cuddling with puppies, toddlers finger painting their bedroom walls and preschoolers joyously coating their cute little faces with ice cream. Okay, so YOU put your child on YOUR social media channels. But what if your young child is begging you to let them create a social media profile (eek!)? Scroll on for five tips on what to discuss with them and how to keep them safe before they sign up for that Insta account (if you let ’em!).

1. Talk about what social media is and why your child wants to use it. Very young children don’t actually get what social media is. Your two-year-old sure loves hitting “post” when she plays with your phone, but she doesn’t really know what she’s doing. As she moves into the preschool and kindergarten years, it’s likely that she’ll know how social media works. But, this doesn’t mean she actually understands it, why people use it or the dangers of social media. Before you even think about giving your child her own account, ask her to tell you what she thinks social media is, who can see her posts and why she wants to use it. Have this be an ongoing discussion throughout your child’s upbringing.

2. Open a parent-sponsored account. Your four-year-old wants to share her finger paintings with the world. She’s absolutely in love with art and wants everyone to know it. You’re going to post her paintings anyway, so now might be the time to start your child’s own account. No one’s saying that she should be allowed to post anything herself — a preschooler is way too young. But, she can have her own account that you manage for her. That said, creating an account for little Ali the artist also means protecting her privacy. Don’t use her real name (or, at the very least, don’t use her full name) as her profile name, and never add any identifying info in the bio or posts. In other words, avoid posting the city or state where you live, her birthday, her preschool’s name or anything personal about your family. And whether you’re creating an Insta profile or Facebook account, definitely set it to private.

3. Make family the only social media friends allowed. Social media is, by its nature, well — social. But it’s that aspect that brings a lot of the dangers of social media into your home. Keep major tabs on any followers, “friends,” “likers” and anyone else that your child might at some point interact with online. Or, you could make life easier and limit your child to following and being followed by family members and close family friends only. Can she follow Grandma? Yep. What about Aunt Alice? Sure. But, when some rando on Instagram tries to follow her? That’s a big ol’ no.

4. *Lots* of supervision from the get-go. It doesn’t matter if you’ve got a toddler or a tween, every child needs close supervision while they’re online. Put the “mommy watching over your shoulder” rule into effect early on, and keep it that way. Yes, that means your teen needs to turn over their social media passwords so that you can do random checks on their profiles… from the inside of their account, not just as one of their friends or followers. Explain that supervision is a basic right that you’ll keep as a parent until they’re 18, so that your little ones (even if they’re not so little) don’t think they’ll outgrow your need to check in.

5. Stick to values and instincts. When it comes down to it, no one can tell you what the “right” thing to do is in this area — social media is such new parenting territory, parents are just learning as they go and trying to do the best they can. If it seems like every day you’re reading that there’s a new, and (of course) better style of parenting to follow, you aren’t wrong. Some parents feel completely comfortable with their seven-year-old posting pics on Instagram, while others still won’t allow their 17-year-olds to do so. You know that safety is key, and you have your child’s best interest in mind. Now, add in your own personal (or family) values to the mix and make the decision that feels right to you.

At what age will you allow your child to have a social media account? Tweet us @BritandCo !

(Photos via Getty)

My Boyfriend Won’t Post Me On Instagram — Should I Be Mad?

We live in a "post your relationship so we know it's real" landscape, and I'd be lying if I said it hasn't made me wonder if there's a larger conversation to be had about it. Some people don't feel the need to post their romantic partner while others share their relationships in a way that rivals the best celebrity couples.

Everyone's different, but it's not not unheard of to question your partner's devotion if they're not posting you on Instagram. You may feel justified in your anger because "so and so" are always in cute pictures and videos together on social media — but are your feelings valid? The best person to answer this is licensed therapist Suzette Bray, LMFT. She has over 25 years of specializing in Dialectical Behavior Therapy, and she's seen this topic come up plenty of times during sessions with clients, so grab a pen and paper to take notes!

Why do people want to share their relationship status with others?

Afif Ramdhasuma

My sister used to ask me this question when I was in my 20's, and I always looked at her like she had two heads growing. I couldn't fathom the idea that people wouldn't want to talk about their relationship online because it felt like everyone was doing it. I mean, a study from Pew Research Center shows 8 in 10 people on social media see relationship posts, so it clearly wasn't outrageous to think it was normal.

But, that still doesn't answer why people are drawn to sharing cute little updates about their partner or relationship. Luckily, Bray has a good indication of what drives people to give others a sneak peek into their lives. "People share their relationship status for all kinds of reasons. Some want to mark their territory — nothing says 'back off' quite like a cute couple selfie! Others are just excited and proud of their partner and want to share the joy," she says. That stems from people's "need for a sense of belonging or to receive positive reinforcement from others," she adds.

But, this doesn't necessarily make people weird. It's just human nature that makes us act the way we do. "We as humans are just hard wired to seek connection, and broadcasting our connections, makes us feel more accepted and secure in our social lives."

Should couples have conversations about their social media expectations?

Katrin Bolovtsova

I don't care how hot you think someone is, you're going to have to learn how to communicate with them. It's true even if your chemistry is off-the-charts because healthy relationships don't fall out of the sky. They're built via honesty, respect, forgiveness, and other important factors.

Before assuming your partner is or isn't okay with you posting about your relationship, Bray is 100% convinced you should talk things through. "Social media is still in the wild west of relationship etiquette, and without discussions, assumptions about 'correct' behavior can run wild," she hints. For example, you could be happily posting about your partner only for someone to point out that they're not following you on social media.

"Some people are super private, while others practically live their lives online. Misunderstandings happen when expectations aren't laid out so talking about it can prevent messiness in the long run," Bray observes.

If two people have gone on a couple of dates, should one of them be upset if the other isn't publicly talking about them?

RDNE Stock project

So, you swiped right on Tinder or Bumble, and you had a few amazing dates with one of your matches. Before you start publicly declaring your love for them, Bray wants you to reconsider. "Hold on! It's just a few dates! Let’s pump the brakes. The early stages of dating is not the time to make grand social declarations," she declares. As someone who tried to 'date' people from Tinder, those first few dates aren't a guarantee that you've found the love of your life.

"Posting someone on social media can feel like a big step to some people so expecting that level of public commitment too soon might be too much pressure. If you’re already thinking, 'Why haven’t they posted about me yet?' after two dates, it might be a good time to check in with yourself about where those expectations are coming from," advises Bray.

I've recovered from my former, "Is he the one" obsession so also take it from me — see where things go first and then refer back to question #2!

Is it a red flag if someone doesn't post their partner on social media?

Budgeron Bach

It would be so much fun if we personally had Dustin Poynter, the flag guy, from TikTok helping point us in the right direction — but this is one of those things that errs on the subjective side. Though Bray doesn't feel it's necessarily healthier to keep your relationship private, she thinks "context matters." "Some people are just more private or feel weird about social media in general," she says.

But, that doesn't mean certain behaviors don't warrant a few eyebrow raises. She notes," If someone is super active on social—like posting about their dog’s morning routine and every cupcake they’ve ever had—but doesn't ever mention their partner, it could create a need for a deeper conversation." Before you feel justified about grilling your partner — as satisfactory as that may feel — take a second to breathe.

Bray would prefer you work to understand "why they don't post, rather than assuming your partner is keep you a secret." If you discover the latter to be true, follow your instincts and let that person go because you don't deserve that!

Do you think it's healthier for couples to keep certain aspects of their relationship private?

Fábio Carvalho

Everyone has a different view of what makes a romantic relationship healthy, so this is one of those things Bray says, "absolutely depends on the couple" because some "genuinely enjoy sharing their lives online." You've probably seen your share of couples who make cute content together whether they're married or not. I'd be lying if I said I don't specifically keep up with a few whose content makes me smile.

But, other couples may not be interested in sharing their relationship online because they "want to be private and keep the relationship free from the judgements or opinions of others," according to Bray. That's not to say they have something to hide, though. Instead, think of it as a personal preference.

"As long as both partners are on the same page and it’s not a source of tension, it’s all about finding the balance that works for them. If it starts to feel like a performance for likes rather than genuine connection, though, that’s where it can become problematic," Bray reminds.

How can someone bring up their partner's posting habits without sounding accusatory?

Timur Weber

You may feel eager about posting about your partner while they're less enthusiastic and this could make you feel upset. It's easy to jump to conclusions when you're already upset, but Bray feels "tone is everything." Ironically, she suggests something I've heard in therapy sessions and that's "to be curious, not confrontational." Hopefully this stopped you in your tracks if you were ready to give your partner a piece of your mind.

"You can say something like, 'Hey, I’ve noticed we haven’t shared much about each other on social media? What’s your take on sharing stuff about us online?' It’s important to frame it as a mutual exploration of rather than a demand for a public declaration," Bray points out.

What would you tell someone who wants to emulate couples who consistently post content together?

Vlada Karpovich

We've all seen couples who we think have the cutest relationship, even though we've never met them before. As much as you may admire a couple, Bray thinks it's a "slipper slope" if you want to try to recreate their online moments. "I’d encourage someone to focus more on what makes their own relationship feel fulfilling, rather than chasing #couplesgoals," she encourages.

However, this isn't a sign that you're not supposed to ever share anything about your partner or relationship! "If posting together feels fun and real, go for it! But if it starts feeling like a performance or that you are in competition with other couples, it's probably good to take a step back," she warns.

Also, keep in mind that social media doesn't show you every single moment of couples' lives so don't worry about trying to look picture perfect based on a 30 second to 30 minute video.

If you feel that your partner doesn't post you enough on social media, talk to them before launching into an angsty rant because your assumptions might not always be right. I wish someone would've shared this advice 10 years ago, but all that matters is knowing you don't have to let being upset about your partner's lack of relationship posts be the reason your day is ruined.

The problem arises when your partner doesn't seem receptive to talking about your concerns because dismissive or evasive attitudes are a no-no!

We have more relationship advice if you're looking for more romantic tips and tricks!

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Get A Head Start On Thanksgiving With This Make-Ahead Mashed Potato Recipe

When it comes to prepping Thanksgiving dinner, we'll take any make-ahead ideas we can get. That's why we are *obsessed* with this insanely yummy mashed potato recipe from Half Baked Harvest. Easy to make, delicious to eat, and even better to check off your to-do-list, these mashed potatoes are rich and full of garlicky goodness. We'll let Tieghan Gerard take it from here!

Make Ahead Roasted Garlic Mashed Potatoes, the best holiday mashed potatoes. Made simply with sweet roasted garlic, fresh herbs, and salted butter. Each bite is perfectly smooth, creamy, and so delicious. The secret? Cooking the potatoes together with the milk and cream, then adding in roasted garlic cloves for a delicious garlic flavor that isn't overpowering. This method makes for the creamiest and most flavorful mashed potatoes. They're perfect for making ahead of time for easy entertaining!

What's the secret to these potatoes?

Half Baked Harvest

Two things… first, the roasted garlic. Roasting the garlic adds just the right amount of garlic flavor that's delicious but not over powering.

Second, cook the potatoes together with the milk and herbs. This means no boiling the potatoes, no extra steps, nothing fancy. It turns out that creating almost perfect mashed potatoes is actually really easy.

The Steps — Roast The Garlic

Half Baked Harvest

Start with the garlic since it takes time to roast in the oven. If you've never done it before it really adds a layer of deliciousness to your recipes.

Simply slice the top portion of the garlic head off to reveal the cloves. Then place the garlic on a small piece of foil, drizzle with olive oil, and wrap the garlic up. Roast for about forty minutes, until the garlic is deeply golden and soft.

Then simply squeeze the cloves out of the garlic skin.

Meanwhile, Make The Potatoes 

Half Baked Harvest

Combine the potatoes with the milk and cream in a large pot on the stove. Add the herbs, then cook until the potatoes are tender. This will take about twenty-five minutes or so. Once the potatoes are cooked, drain them, BUT, be sure to save the cream – you'll need it!

Now, the potato ricer…it's key to making ultra-smooth mashed potatoes. Do you have to have a potato ricer? No, a good ole masher works too. But if you want the smoothest mashed potatoes, a ricer works really well.

Half Baked Harvest

Take the mashed potatoes and those roasted garlic cloves and put them right back into the pot. Then add back the cream and also add some butter. Cook until the butter is melted…and that's it…the most perfectly flavored creamy mashed potatoes!

Honest these are the BEST – classic, but with amazing flavor and texture.

The added bonus is just how easy these are to make…and that you can make them ahead of time. Steps for warming in the oven, slow cooker, or on the stove are listed in the directions!

Make Ahead Roasted Garlic Mashed Potatoes

Half Baked Harvest

Ingredients:

Directions:

  1. Preheat the oven to 400° F.
  2. Slice off the top portion of the garlic head to expose some of the cloves. Place the garlic on a piece of foil. Drizzle with olive oil, wrap it up, and bake for 40-55 minutes, until deeply golden and very soft.
  3. Let the garlic cool, then squeeze out the cloves.
  4. Meanwhile, In a large dutch oven, combine the potatoes, heavy cream, milk, sage, and thyme. Bring to a gentle boil over medium heat and cook 20-25 minutes, until the potatoes are fork-tender.
  5. Drain the potatoes, reserving all of the cream. Discard the thyme and sage. Press the potatoes and roasted garlic cloves through a potato ricer. Then add them back to the warm pot. Alternately, you can add the potatoes back to the pot and mash with a potato masher.
  6. Over low heat, add 1 1/2 cups of the reserved cream and the butter. Continue to add more of the cream until your desired consistency is reached. Season the potatoes with salt and pepper.
  7. If desired, brown a little butter with sage or thyme and swirl into the potatoes before serving. Serve warm and creamy.

To Make Ahead:

  • In the Oven: Prepare the mashed potatoes as directed through step 6. Spoon the potatoes into a large baking dish. Cover and refrigerate for up to 3 days. To reheat in the oven, preheat the oven to 325° F. Pour 1/2 cup milk or cream over the potatoes and add 2 tablespoons butter, do not stir. Cover the potatoes tightly with foil and transfer to the oven. Cook for 20-25 minutes, or until the potatoes are warmed through. Stir before serving.
  • Slow Cooker: Prepare the mashed potatoes as directed through step 6. Spoon the potatoes into the slower cooker, cover, and keep on low for up to 4 hours. About 30 minutes before serving, turn the heat to low or high, add 1/2 cup heavy cream and 2 tablespoons butter, do not stir. Cover and let the cream warm and the butter melt. Stir before serving.
  • On the Stove: Prepare the mashed potatoes as directed through step 6. Add 1/2 cup cream and 2 tablespoons butter. Place the potatoes over low heat, gently stirring until warmed throughout.

Want more mashed potato recipes? Be sure to sign up for our email newsletter!

This post has been updated.

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How To Build A Local Community When You’re A Digital Creator

Verizon
verizon

In our Take 5 series, sponsored by Verizon, we ask women in business about unexpected challenges, their inspirations, recent wins, and how the free Verizon Small Business Digital Ready Program has helped propel their business forward. Here, we meet Rita Suzanne, a marketing strategist for health and wellness businesses who learned to network, connect with other entrepreneurs, and build her business online and IRL.

What's an unexpected business challenge that you've had to face and how did you overcome it?

The hardest thing for me was my sister passed away and I ended up taking custody of my nieces. I ended up being a single mom of four kids. This is the thing that transitioned my whole entire life. I stopped doing web design and started my podcast Mom Owned and Operated. I wanted to reconnect with other moms and figure out how they were able to run their businesses and raise a family and take care of themselves because I wasn't able to do all three at the same time. Through that journey, I realized that I really needed to connect with other people and how important it was for my business. It helped me to create that community that I was yearning for that I didn't realize that I needed.

What's a recent small win for your business?

For me, the win was just pivoting back to something that I actually wanted to do. Also, I’ve started to say no to things that I no longer want to do.

Who is a woman in business that you look up to and why?

I have always admired and looked up to Amy Porterfield [author of Two Weeks Notice]. I listened to her all the time when I was starting out. I think that she's amazing and I love her stuff. She just seems like a very genuine person.

Is there a resource that has made an impact on you as an entrepreneur?

I listen to a lot of audio books. One of my favorites that has been huge for me is You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero. I was told when I first started my business, by a friend who was a business coach, that I have a mindset problem. Ten years ago, I had no idea even what “mindset” was. Sincero’s book helped me to see what she meant by “mindset” and helped me adjust that mindset and fix some of the things that I didn't realize were broken.

How has the Verizon Small Business Digital Ready Program helped propel your business forward?

There are a lot of things that I have loved about it. There are local networking and training opportunities, and that has been great, and the online training is very valuable. It's a great resource. I find that marketing needs a three-tiered approach, meaning you need to network it locally, socially, and then also have a very comprehensive online approach to your marketing. One of the Verizon Small Business trainings that I took was all about taking advantage of your local resources. I found that to be extremely valuable because often people think they need to just focus on social media. I don't think that people focus enough on their local community.

Learn more about the free Verizon Small Business Digital Ready Program and Rita Suzanne.

Illustration by Daniela Jordan-Villaveces

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The Real Ages Of The ‘Outer Banks’ Cast Will Shock You

If there's one thing that unites all teen TV shows, it's consistently casting people who are way too old to play high schoolers. Riverdale, One Tree Hill, and even Stranger Things have all fallen victim to this trend, boasting a lineup of beefy, chiseled actors who are supposed to be 15 years old. And Outer Banks is no exception.

OBX season 4 part 2 drops on Netflix November 7, and if you're like me, you're going down every rabbit hole to find out as much as possible about your favorite Pogues, which is why I scoured the internet to figure out the actors' ages — and how they compare to their character ages (including the cast member that's almost TWICE their character's age). Keep reading for the full scoop!

The 'Outer Banks' Cast Ages Vs. Their Characters

Jackson Lee Davis/Netflix

Madelyn Cline as Sarah Cameron

Sarah Cameron is 19 years old in Outer Banks season 4, while Madelyn Cline turns 27 on December 21.

Jackson Lee Davis/Netflix

Rudy Pankow as JJ Maybank (or is it JJ Groff now?)

JJ Maybank is around 19 years old when Wes Genrette asks the Pogues to find Blackbeard's treasure. Actor Rudy Pankow is 26.

Jackson Lee Davis/Netflix

Chase Stokes as John B. Routledge

While fearless leader John B. Routledge is also around 19, Chase Stokes is actually 32 years old. That makes him 13 years older than John B.!

Jackson Lee Davis/Netflix

Madison Bailey as Kiara Carrera

In Outer Banks season 4 Kie Carrera's 19 years old. In real life, Madison Bailey is 25.

Jackson Lee Davis/Netflix

Carlacia Grant as Cleo Anderson

Cleo Anderson seems to be around the same age as the rest of the Pogues, which would make her 19. Actress Carlacia Grant is 33 years old.

Jackson Lee Davis/Netflix

Jonathan Daviss as Pope Heyward

Pope Heyward is in the same grade as JJ, Kie, and John B., which would mean he's also 19 during Outer Banks season 4. Jonathan Daviss turned 24 in February.

Jackson Lee Davis/Netflix

Drew Starkey as Rafe Cameron

Rafe Cameron started the series at 19, which would make him 22 now. Drew Starkey just turned 31 on November 4. (Happy late birthday Drew!)

Jackson Lee Davis/Netflix

Austin North as Topper Thornton

Topper Thornton is probably 19 years old in OBX 4, while Austin North is 28 in real life.

Check out How Old The Bridgerton Cast Is for more shocking celeb revelations ;).

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Bethany Joy Lenz Wants To “Turn Back Time” After Revealing Sophia Bush Friendship Fell Apart During ‘One Tree Hill’

One Tree Hill star Bethany Joy Lenz basically broke the internet when she revealed she was in a cult for 10 years — and just how much it affected her time on the teen drama. Her new book Dinner for Vampires chronicles her experience joining the Big House Family Cult, and the actress told Call Her Daddy's Alex Cooper she even distanced herself from the rest of the cast because of how controlling the group became. Unfortunately, that included her newfound friendship with Sophia Bush.

"Sophia herself was also hilarious and a bit mischievous, always down for an impulsive adventure," Bethany writes in her book (via People). Even though the pair started off the show so close they adopted puppies together, they quickly drifted, and Bethany adds, "I soon realized I wasn't equipped to get too close to Sophia."

"As bubbly and compassionate as she was, she was even more intelligent...Her mind could have been put to good use by NASA — except, of course, she's so beautiful the astronauts would never want to leave Earth," she continues. "I failed to notice that she was also trying hard...Frequently favored and constantly underestimated in life because of her beauty, Sophia worked obsessively at proving her value."

This honestly sounds pretty familiar to Brooke's character arc on the show — and it reminds me of the fact Sophia Bush said Mark Schwann and the writer's room wrote their personal struggles into the show. "They made practice of taking advantage of people's personal lives," she said on an episode of Dax Shepherd's Armchair Expert podcast. "Deeply personal things that were happening in their lives and they would wind up in storylines. It wasn't OK."

Bethany Joy Lenz continues that despite the fact her and Sophia hit it off at the beginning of filming, she "was using religion as my benchmark."

"My budding friendship with sweet Sophia became a casualty of this, and instead of sitting shiva for my ego, I really f—ing wish I could turn back time, walk into her trailer, and give her a long, hard hug," Bethany says.

youtube.com

- YouTube

While that breaks my heart more than a little, OTH fans everywhere are thankful the actresses have reunited since the show wrapped (and Bethany left the cult in 2012) for their Drama Queens rewatch podcast.

"We definitely talked about our time back then and what was hard and how great it was to reconnect and the feelings of unraveling things that were so mysterious to us at the time," Bethany told Alex Cooper. She also spoke on the recent rumored feud between her and Hilarie Burton, which fans began to discuss after they realized the actresses didn't follow each other on Instagram anymore.

"I love Hilarie,” she says. “I have always and will always and I don’t have any problem with her...There have been some bizarre misunderstandings that I really hope we can figure out one day, but I love that girl."

See The Adorable One Tree Hill Cast Reunion Pics for more on your favorite show.

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