Some of Your Fave Celebs Are in Serious Trouble Because of Their Instagram Posts

Why do people want to share their relationship status with others?

My sister used to ask me this question when I was in my 20's, and I always looked at her like she had two heads growing. I couldn't fathom the idea that people wouldn't want to talk about their relationship online because it felt like everyone was doing it. I mean, a study from Pew Research Center shows 8 in 10 people on social media see relationship posts, so it clearly wasn't outrageous to think it was normal.

But, that still doesn't answer why people are drawn to sharing cute little updates about their partner or relationship. Luckily, Bray has a good indication of what drives people to give others a sneak peek into their lives. "People share their relationship status for all kinds of reasons. Some want to mark their territory — nothing says 'back off' quite like a cute couple selfie! Others are just excited and proud of their partner and want to share the joy," she says. That stems from people's "need for a sense of belonging or to receive positive reinforcement from others," she adds.

But, this doesn't necessarily make people weird. It's just human nature that makes us act the way we do. "We as humans are just hard wired to seek connection, and broadcasting our connections, makes us feel more accepted and secure in our social lives."

Should couples have conversations about their social media expectations?

I don't care how hot you think someone is, you're going to have to learn how to communicate with them. It's true even if your chemistry is off-the-charts because healthy relationships don't fall out of the sky. They're built via honesty, respect, forgiveness, and other important factors.

Before assuming your partner is or isn't okay with you posting about your relationship, Bray is 100% convinced you should talk things through. "Social media is still in the wild west of relationship etiquette, and without discussions, assumptions about 'correct' behavior can run wild," she hints. For example, you could be happily posting about your partner only for someone to point out that they're not following you on social media.

"Some people are super private, while others practically live their lives online. Misunderstandings happen when expectations aren't laid out so talking about it can prevent messiness in the long run," Bray observes.

If two people have gone on a couple of dates, should one of them be upset if the other isn't publicly talking about them?

So, you swiped right on Tinder or Bumble, and you had a few amazing dates with one of your matches. Before you start publicly declaring your love for them, Bray wants you to reconsider. "Hold on! It's just a few dates! Let’s pump the brakes. The early stages of dating is not the time to make grand social declarations," she declares. As someone who tried to 'date' people from Tinder, those first few dates aren't a guarantee that you've found the love of your life.

"Posting someone on social media can feel like a big step to some people so expecting that level of public commitment too soon might be too much pressure. If you’re already thinking, 'Why haven’t they posted about me yet?' after two dates, it might be a good time to check in with yourself about where those expectations are coming from," advises Bray.

I've recovered from my former, "Is he the one" obsession so also take it from me — see where things go first and then refer back to question #2!

Is it a red flag if someone doesn't post their partner on social media?

It would be so much fun if we personally had Dustin Poynter, the flag guy, from TikTok helping point us in the right direction — but this is one of those things that errs on the subjective side. Though Bray doesn't feel it's necessarily healthier to keep your relationship private, she thinks "context matters." "Some people are just more private or feel weird about social media in general," she says.

But, that doesn't mean certain behaviors don't warrant a few eyebrow raises. She notes," If someone is super active on social—like posting about their dog’s morning routine and every cupcake they’ve ever had—but doesn't ever mention their partner, it could create a need for a deeper conversation." Before you feel justified about grilling your partner — as satisfactory as that may feel — take a second to breathe.

Bray would prefer you work to understand "why they don't post, rather than assuming your partner is keep you a secret." If you discover the latter to be true, follow your instincts and let that person go because you don't deserve that!

Do you think it's healthier for couples to keep certain aspects of their relationship private?

Everyone has a different view of what makes a romantic relationship healthy, so this is one of those things Bray says, "absolutely depends on the couple" because some "genuinely enjoy sharing their lives online." You've probably seen your share of couples who make cute content together whether they're married or not. I'd be lying if I said I don't specifically keep up with a few whose content makes me smile.

But, other couples may not be interested in sharing their relationship online because they "want to be private and keep the relationship free from the judgements or opinions of others," according to Bray. That's not to say they have something to hide, though. Instead, think of it as a personal preference.

"As long as both partners are on the same page and it’s not a source of tension, it’s all about finding the balance that works for them. If it starts to feel like a performance for likes rather than genuine connection, though, that’s where it can become problematic," Bray reminds.

How can someone bring up their partner's posting habits without sounding accusatory?

You may feel eager about posting about your partner while they're less enthusiastic and this could make you feel upset. It's easy to jump to conclusions when you're already upset, but Bray feels "tone is everything." Ironically, she suggests something I've heard in therapy sessions and that's "to be curious, not confrontational." Hopefully this stopped you in your tracks if you were ready to give your partner a piece of your mind.

"You can say something like, 'Hey, I’ve noticed we haven’t shared much about each other on social media? What’s your take on sharing stuff about us online?' It’s important to frame it as a mutual exploration of rather than a demand for a public declaration," Bray points out.

What would you tell someone who wants to emulate couples who consistently post content together?

We've all seen couples who we think have the cutest relationship, even though we've never met them before. As much as you may admire a couple, Bray thinks it's a "slipper slope" if you want to try to recreate their online moments. "I’d encourage someone to focus more on what makes their own relationship feel fulfilling, rather than chasing #couplesgoals," she encourages.

However, this isn't a sign that you're not supposed to ever share anything about your partner or relationship! "If posting together feels fun and real, go for it! But if it starts feeling like a performance or that you are in competition with other couples, it's probably good to take a step back," she warns.

Also, keep in mind that social media doesn't show you every single moment of couples' lives so don't worry about trying to look picture perfect based on a 30 second to 30 minute video.

Tips For Cooking With Your Partner

Share in the planning and prep

The holidays can be kind of stressful (and sometimes we look forward with both excitement and dread!). Having another person share in the planning and prepping can de-stress the activity and even make it fun! Plus, you can create fun memories around new dishes you try (like, remember Alex, when we made that amazing apple galette with bourbon salted caramel for Thanksgiving?).

Focus on individual tasks (over a glass of wine?)

We each have our own skills and preferences. Alex is really good at things like making bread or searing meat, so he takes the lead in those sort of recipes. I tend toward prepping soups, salads, quick breads, desserts, and overall meal planning / strategizing. But often we'll change things up depending on the recipe! It's really a kitchen dance.

Put the relationship first

We often argue over the final seasoning and how much salt to add at the end of a recipe! I generally add too much to trying to get the flavor "pop" so Alex has to hold me back. Or we spar over how to style things on a plate (that's more of a food photography argument, but it translates to meals too!).

We've learned to really listen to each other and back down if we find the other person is very passionate about something. Of course, that could end in an "I told you so" moment later, but we've found that we try to remember that relationship and the experience is more important than one person being "right".

Don’t forget the herbs!

Our favorite cooking hack: Using fresh herbs! Every recipe is a little better with a few chopped herbs. We have an herb garden and some favorites are dill, basil, thyme, mint, and tarragon, and our rosemary and sage even hang through late fall to winter. If you don't have a garden, buying fresh herbs is absolutely worth the few extra dollars for the difference in flavor.

Recipes Excerpted From A Couple Cooks

Harvest Caesar Bowl

Here’s a bowl that’s endlessly customizable—a riff on a dinner we started eating on repeat around the birth of our daughter and still do today! What began as a pregnancy craving for Caesar salad turned into a weeknight main dish with a rotating topping of veggies, chicken, or shrimp. (We’ll always remember devouring a takeout version in the hospital room while awaiting the baby’s arrival!) This satisfying combination of roasted sweet potatoes, seasoned chickpeas, and shaved Parmesan cheese is topped with an irresistibly creamy, Greek yogurt–based spin on Caesar (though feel free to use store-bought dressing if you’re pressed for time). Customize the bowl by adding cooked chicken or a grain like rice or quinoa, making it a filling meal that never gets old.

SERVES 4

• 2 lb [910 g] sweet potatoes (about 2 medium), skin on, scrubbed and cut into ¾ in [2 cm] dice
• 3 Tbsp olive oil
• 1 tsp garlic powder
• 1 tsp chili powder
• ½ tsp Old Bay seasoning (see Tips)
• ¾ tsp kosher salt
• 15 oz [430 g] can chickpeas, drained and rinsed, or 1½ cups [240 g] cooked chickpeas
• ⅛ tsp cumin
• Freshly ground black pepper
• 1 bunch (about 8 oz [230 g]) Tuscan kale, washed, torn into bite-size pieces, and massaged
• 2 romaine hearts (about 8 oz [230 g]), chopped
• 2 cups [120 g] chopped red cabbage
• ¼ cup [18 g] Parmesan cheese shavings
• ¼ cup [35 g] roasted pepitas (see Tips)
• 1 recipe Creamy Parmesan Dressing (see page 189) or 1 cup [240 g] store-bought Caesar dressing

1. Preheat the oven to 450°F [230°C].
2. In a large bowl, mix the sweet potatoes with 2 tablespoons of the olive oil, the garlic powder, chili powder, Old Bay, and ¼ teaspoon of the kosher salt. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and arrange the sweet potatoes on it in an even layer. Bake, without flipping, until the cubes are tender and browned, 25 to 27 minutes.
3. In a medium bowl, mix the chickpeas with the remaining 1 tablespoon of olive oil, the cumin, the remaining ½ teaspoon of kosher salt, and several grinds of black pepper.
4. To serve, divide the kale and romaine among four shallow bowls or plates. Top with the sweet potatoes, chickpeas, cabbage, Parmesan cheese, and pepitas. Drizzle generously with the dressing and serve.

Creamy Parmesan Dressing

• ¼ cup [60 g] mayonnaise
• ½ cup [120 g] Greek yogurt
• ¼ cup [8 g] finely grated
• Parmesan cheese
• 1 Tbsp red or white wine vinegar
• ½ Tbsp Dijon mustard
• ¼ tsp garlic powder
• ¼ tsp dry mustard powder (optional)
• ½ tsp kosher salt
• Freshly ground black pepper

To make the dressing, in a medium bowl, whisk together the mayonnaise, Greek yogurt, Parmesan cheese, red wine vinegar, Dijon mustard, garlic powder, mustard powder, kosher salt, and black pepper until a creamy dressing forms. If necessary, stir in 1 tablespoon of water to bring the dressing to a pourable consistency (this varies based on the yogurt brand).

Tips

Don’t have Old Bay? Substitute ½ teaspoon smoked paprika plus an additional ⅛ teaspoon kosher salt. If all you can find is raw pepitas, you can toast them yourself in a skillet over medium heat until they start to pop and become golden brown, 3 to 5 minutes.

Cooking Together

While one of you gets the sweet potatoes in the oven and chops the fresh vegetables for the bowl, the other can mix up the chickpeas and the dressing.

For Vegan

Use Lemon Tahini Sauce and omit the Parmesan shavings.

Storage

Leftovers will keep, refrigerated, for up to 3 days.

Diet Vegetarian, gluten-free, vegan option

Excerpted from A Couple Cooks: 100 Recipes to Cook Together by Sonja Overhiser and Alex Overhiser, © 2024. Published by Chronicle Books. Photographs © Shelly Westerhausen Worcel.

Spiced Latte Loaf

The moist slices of this fun and funky quick bread are reminiscent of a chai latte, with notes of milky vanilla, cinnamon, cardamom, and ginger. The best part is when you cut the first slice to show the beautiful spiced swirl decoration inside. There are a few components to assemble, so it’s nice to have a partner to help with this baking project. One day we had the crazy idea of slicing up leftovers into strips and baking it to make biscotti, and it’s surprisingly effective. The crunchy strips pair well with morning coffee or an afternoon snack.

MAKES ONE 9 X 5 IN [23 X 13 CM] LOAF

• 1½ Tbsp ground cinnamon
• 2 tsp ground ginger
• 1 tsp ground cardamom
• ¼ tsp ground cloves
• ¼ cup [52 g] packed light brown sugar
• 2 ¼ cups [315 g] all-purpose flour
• 2 Tbsp unsalted butter, melted
• 1 cup [200 g] granulated sugar
• 1 Tbsp baking powder
• ½ tsp kosher salt
• 1 egg
• 1 cup [240 ml] milk of choice
• ¼ cup [60 ml] neutral oil
• ¼ cup [60 ml] unsweetened applesauce
• 2 tsp vanilla extract

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F [180°C]. Butter a 9 x 5 in [23 x 13 cm] metal loaf pan.
2. In a small bowl, stir together the spice mix: cinnamon, ginger, cardamom, and cloves.
3. In a medium bowl, make the streusel topping: Add the brown sugar, ¼ cup [35 g] of the flour, and 1 teaspoon of the spice mix to the bowl and mix lightly with a fork. Continue mixing while pouring in the melted butter until a crumbly mixture forms. Set aside.
4. In a separate medium bowl, whisk together the remaining 2 cups [280 g] of flour and the granulated sugar, baking powder, and kosher salt.
5. In a large bowl, whisk together the egg, milk, oil, applesauce, and vanilla extract until completely smooth. Gradually add the flour mixture to the wet ingredients, stirring with a spatula until a smooth batter forms. Pour ¾ cup [180 g] of the batter into a liquid measuring cup and stir the remaining spice mix into the measuring cup to create a darker spiced batter.
6. Pour about half the vanilla batter into the prepared loaf pan and smooth it into an even layer with a spatula. Pour the spiced batter on top and smooth it, then pour on the remaining vanilla batter and smooth it. To swirl the batters together, insert a butter knife in the top corner of the pan so it just touches the bottom. Draw about 3 large S shapes through the entire pan, then repeat in a slightly different position. Rotate the pan 90 degrees and make 2 large S shapes in the other direction. Sprinkle the top of the batter with the streusel.
7. Bake the loaf for 50 to 55 minutes, until the top springs back when touched and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool the bread in the pan for 30 minutes. Run a knife around the edge and invert the loaf onto a cooling rack. Let cool fully to room temperature (30 minutes to 1 hour) before cutting into slices.

Tip

Turn leftovers into biscotti! Cut ¾ in [2 cm] thick slices into 1 in [2.5 cm] wide strips, then bake at 300°F [149°C] for 45 to 55 minutes, until golden brown and mostly crisp (they will firm up as they cool). Let cool for 30 minutes. Store in a sealed container with a paper towel. Serve with coffee or tea.

Cooking Together

Have one person start with the streusel topping while the other makes the batter. Then assemble the loaf together.

Storage

The loaf will keep, wrapped in aluminum foil, at room temperature for 4 days, or refrigerated for 10 days (bring to room temperature before enjoying). To store frozen for up to 3 months, slice the loaf, wrap it in plastic wrap, and place in a freezer-safe container.

Diet Vegetarian

Excerpted from A Couple Cooks: 100 Recipes to Cook Together by Sonja Overhiser and Alex Overhiser, © 2024. Published by Chronicle Books. Photographs © Shelly Westerhausen Worcel.

Apple Galette with Bourbon Caramel

This rustic French tart lets you skip fiddling with pie dough to make free-form folded layers of golden pastry. Piling the crust full of cinnamon-spiced apples is a fun fall treat, but of course you can indulge any time of the year. There are endless variations on this type of fruit tart. Serve with melty vanilla ice cream, or even better, drizzle with gooey Bourbon Salted Caramel. The mad scientist in you will love how easy it is to make a caramel sauce out of a few basic ingredients.

SERVES 8

Galette Dough

• 1½ cups [210 g] all-purpose flour
• 1 Tbsp granulated sugar
• ¾ tsp kosher salt
• ¼ tsp baking powder
• 10 Tbsp [150 g] cold unsalted butter or vegan butter
• 5 to 6 Tbsp [80 to 90 ml] cold water
• 1 egg, for the egg wash
• 1 Tbsp Demerara or turbinado sugar, for sprinkling

Filling

• 1 lb [455 g] crisp, tart apples like Granny Smith, Pink Lady, or Honeycrisp (about 2 large), unpeeled, thinly cut into ⅛ in [3 mm] slices (3½ cups sliced)
• 2 Tbsp light brown sugar
• 2 Tbsp granulated sugar
• 1½ tsp cinnamon
• ½ tsp allspice
• ⅛ tsp nutmeg
• ½ tsp cornstarch
• 1 Tbsp unsalted butter, cut into very small pieces Bourbon Salted Caramel (recipe follows)

1. To make the galette dough, in a medium bowl, mix the flour, granulated sugar, kosher salt, and baking powder. Cut the butter into small pieces, then use a pastry blender or fork to cut it into the flour mixture until mostly incorporated and a pebbly texture forms, with pea-size or smaller pieces.
2. Sprinkle 5 tablespoons [80 ml] of the cold water over the flour, mixing gradually with a fork until the flour is mostly incorporated. Knead with your fingers until the dough comes together, adding the additional 1 tablespoon water. (If the mixture is still too floury, add ½ tablespoon more water.) Form the dough into a ball, then flatten it into a thick disk. Chill the crust in a covered container in the refrigerator for 1 hour (see Tips).
3. Preheat the oven to 375°F [190°C] and line a rimmed baking sheet with a sheet of parchment paper. Flour a work surface.
4. To make the filling, in a medium bowl, stir the apple slices with the brown sugar, granulated sugar, cinnamon, allspice, nutmeg, and cornstarch until fully coated.
5. On the floured surface, roll out the dough into an even 12 in [30 cm] circle (if necessary, move the dough around and add a bit more flour underneath to keep it from sticking). Carefully transfer the dough to the parchment paper.
6. Fan out small handfuls of apple slices and layer them on the crust, reserving the juices at the bottom of the bowl. Leave at least 2 inches of dough uncovered around the outside edge. Fold the outside edges of the dough over the filling, overlapping the folds to form a partial top crust. Pour the reserved juice over the exposed apple slices in the center.
7. Dot the apple slices evenly with the small pieces of butter. Whisk the egg and use a pastry brush to brush it over the crust. Sprinkle the crust and filling with Demerara or turbinado sugar (or more granulated sugar).
8. Bake until the crust is golden brown, 38 to 40 minutes. Transfer the galette on the parchment paper to a baking rack and let cool to room temperature (about 30 minutes) before cutting into pieces and serving. Drizzle with Bourbon Salted Caramel (recipe follows) before serving, or top with ice cream.

Bourbon Salted Caramel

MAKES ⅔ CUP [160 ML]

• ½ cup [100 g] granulated sugar
• ¼ cup [60 ml] water
• ½ tsp kosher salt
• ⅓ cup [80 ml] heavy cream
• ½ Tbsp bourbon (see Tips)
• ¼ tsp vanilla extract

1. In a medium saucepan over medium heat, stir together the sugar, water, and kosher salt. Cook, stirring constantly with a spatula, until the sugar and salt are dissolved and it starts to boil, about 2 minutes.
2. Reduce the heat slightly to a simmer and cook, constantly bubbling, until the sugar turns deep amber, 8 to 11 minutes. Occasionally give a gentle stir with a spatula to ensure even cooking. Watch closely toward the end of the cooking time, as the color darkens quickly.
3. Once the sugar turns deep amber, immediately reduce the heat to low. Add the cream, which will cause the mixture to bubble vigorously; stir constantly with a spatula, until it is a rich caramel color, about 90 seconds. Stir in the bourbon and vanilla extract and cook for 20 seconds more.
4. Transfer the caramel to a small bowl to cool, leaving any hardened bits of sugar in the pan. Let cool and thicken for 10 minutes before serving. It will keep thickening the longer it sits; if it becomes too thick, reheat gently before serving (see Tips).

Tips

Galettes are endlessly customizable! For the filling, use 3 cups of any seasonal fruit, ⅓ to ½ cup [65 to 100 g] of granulated sugar, 1 tablespoon of cornstarch, and ½ teaspoon of cinnamon. Taste and adjust the filling as desired based on the sweetness of the fruit. Try peaches, pears, plums, blueberries, and more.

Make the crust in advance for easy prep. The dough will keep, refrigerated, for up to 3 days. Before rolling, allow the dough to sit at room temperature for 30 minutes. Or wrap it in plastic wrap or aluminum foil and freeze for up to 3 months, then defrost overnight in the refrigerator and let stand for 30 minutes at room temperature before rolling.

You can also make the caramel sauce in advance. Refrigerate the sauce, then reheat it on the stovetop or in the microwave before serving.

Omit the bourbon in the caramel sauce if desired. It’s just as tasty!

Liqueur Pairing

After the galette, enjoy a small glass of Amaro Nonino Quintessentia or Amaro Averna. These caramel-colored liqueurs have a bittersweet, smooth finish and an herbal complexity that complements the apples’ natural tartness.

Cooking Together

After the dough is chilled, have one person roll out the dough while the other person makes the filling. Then whip up the caramel sauce together while the galette bakes.

For Vegan

Use vegan butter and, instead of using the egg wash, brush the crust with nondairy milk. Omit the salted caramel.

Storage

Leftovers will keep, refrigerated, for up to 4 days; bring to room temperature before serving.

Diet

Vegetarian, vegan option

Excerpted from A Couple Cooks: 100 Recipes to Cook Together by Sonja Overhiser and Alex Overhiser, © 2024. Published by Chronicle Books. Photographs © Shelly Westerhausen Worcel.

Mini Cardamon Cinnamon Rolls

What’s a better weekend baking project than ooey, gooey cinnamon rolls? The star here is the cardamom-orange filling, inspired by a cardamom bun we had on a Sunday morning bakery run in Chicago. (We couldn’t pass up a visit to Lost Larson bakery, since it’s the name of our son, which he found wildly amusing.)

This makes a 9 x 9 pan of mini rolls, so you can eat more than one and have enough to go around! Baking is a two-day process (since who wants to wake up 3 hours beforehand?). Start the rolls the night before and refrigerate overnight, then bake them in the a.m. and enjoy the cinnamon-spiced scent wafting through your kitchen.

MAKES 16 SMALL ROLLS

Dough

• 3 cups [420 g] bread flour
• ¼ cup [50 g] granulated sugar
• 2 ¼ tsp (1 packet) [21 g] instant yeast (see Tips)
• 1 tsp kosher salt
• 4 Tbsp [55 g] unsalted butter
• 1 cup [240 ml] milk
• 1 egg, beaten

Filling

• ½ cup [100 g] packed light brown sugar
• 1 Tbsp cinnamon
• 1 tsp ground cardamom
• 1 tsp lightly packed orange zest
• 1½ Tbsp unsalted butter, melted

Frosting

• ½ cup [60 g] powdered sugar
• 1 Tbsp milk
• ⅛ tsp vanilla extract

1. To make the dough, in the bowl of a stand mixer, stir together the flour, granulated sugar, yeast, and kosher salt. In a small saucepan, melt the butter over low heat. Add the milk and heat until lukewarm (warm to the touch, but not hot, or between 105° and 115°F [40° and 45°C]).
2. Pour the butter and milk mixture into the flour mixture. Add the egg and stir with a fork until a rough dough forms. Attach a dough hook to the mixer and mix on medium-low speed for 6 minutes, until the dough is smooth and stretchy. The dough should be very sticky and will not form a ball in the mixer. (You can also knead the dough by hand; keep in mind it will be very sticky at first.)
3. Flour a work surface, scrape the dough onto it, and knead it a few times, then shape it into a rough ball. Place the dough ball in a large clean bowl. Cover the bowl with a damp towel and let it rise in a warm location until doubled in size, 1 to 1½ hours.
4. To make the filling, stir together the brown sugar, cinnamon, cardamom, and orange zest. Grease a metal 9 x 9 in [23 x 23 cm] baking dish.
5. Lightly flour a work surface and scoop the dough onto it. Gently roll out the dough into a 12 x 12 in [30 x 30 cm] square. Tug the corners a bit to make them as square as possible. Brush the dough with the melted butter, leaving a ½ in [13 mm] border unbrushed at the left and right edges.

Tips

Instant yeast (rather than active dry yeast) is required for this recipe, which allows quick rise times. If using active dry yeast, the rise times will be about double.

To bake the cinnamon rolls the day of, proceed immediately to baking. Bake 20 minutes covered with foil, then uncovered about 10 minutes, checking whether they are cooked through using a food thermometer.

Cooking Together

This is a baking project that’s much easier with a partner! It’s often helpful to have one person read the recipe out loud while the other gets their hands into the dough. Trade off on tasks and enjoy the process.

Storage

The cinnamon rolls will keep at room temperature, covered with aluminum foil, for up to 2 days. Reheat, covered, at 350°F [180°C] until warmed through,10 to 12 minutes.

Diet

Vegetarian

Excerpted from A Couple Cooks: 100 Recipes to Cook Together by Sonja Overhiser and Alex Overhiser, © 2024. Published by Chronicle Books. Photographs © Shelly Westerhausen Worcel.