Sophia Bush And Ashlyn Harris Approach Love On Their Terms

sophia bush and ashlyn harris

Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris caused quite a stir at Elton John's Oscars afterparty, but for good reason! After dodging dating rumors for quite awhile, they dressed to impress and made their first public debut as a couple! Sophia even wore her best accessory — a mega-watt smile — that further confirms this blissful pair.

While some people love to know whencelebrity couples fell in love, the details about Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris' relationship have people wondering when this couple actually got together. Well, our wait is over because Sophia decided to open about what led to her romance with Ashlyn Harris and why certain rumors hold no merit!

Since we're clearly tuned in to this love story, here's everything you need to know about Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris's relationship!

Who is Sophia Bush?

Image via Robin L Marshall/Getty Images

Sophia Bush has had a lengthy career as an actress, and she's most recognized for her portrayal of Brooke Davis in the hit TV series One Tree Hill. She's also appeared in Nip/Tuck, Chicago Fire, Incredibles 2, and John Tucker Must Die. When she's not showing off her acting chops, she hosts the Drama Queens podcast alongside former One Tree Hill castmates Hilarie Burton and Bethany Joy Lenz!

Who is Ashlyn Harris?

Image via Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images for W Magazine

Ashlyn Harris is a former U.S. soccer player who had a successful run — no pun intended — as a goalkeeper during the career. She also won the 2015 FIFA Women's World Cup in Canada and continued making an impressionable mark. However, she announced her retirementin 2022 and — per her Instagrampage — has gone on to become the Global Creative Advisor for Gotham FC and Adidas Football.

When did the dating rumors about Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris start?

Image via Frazer Harrison/Getty Images and Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

June 2023

Rumors about a possible connection between Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris swirled last summer when Cosmopolitanreported they were on a panel at Cannes Lion International Festival of Creativity. Sophia shared a pic of the two at the festival on Instagramand wrote, "Love you @ashlynharris24 and @sophieannkelly" towards the end of her caption.

A source told Page Six, "It’s very new...They are definitely a couple.” But, Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris didn't confirm or deny anything at that time.

When did Sophia Bush file for divorce from Grant Hughes?

Image via Leigh Vogel/Getty Images

August 2023

A couple of months after Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris were seen getting cozy together, Sophia filed for divorce from her former husband Grant Hughes. Peopleshared that they were only married for a little over a year — 13 months — but didn't end on a bad terms. A source then told Entertainment Tonight, "Grant and Sophia are better off as friends and they weren’t getting enough time with each other before their breakup."

When did Ashlyn Harris and Ali Krieger file for divorce?

Image via Roy Rochlin/Getty Images

October 2023

While things seemed to quiet down, Ashlyn Harris soon filed for divorce from Ali Krieger after getting married towards the end of 2019. What's interesting is that a source told Peoplethis decision wasn't surprising. "Although it’s new information to the public, Ashlyn and Ali’s divorce began months ago and they have been living apart since the summer,” the source said.

This is also around the time it was speculated Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris had their first official date. A rep told People, "Grant will always want the best for Sophia, and is supportive of all that makes her happy and fulfilled." We guess it helps he and Sophia had a solid friendship before getting married!

As for Ali Krieger, she basically let the world know things were business as usual with an Instagrampost. She captioned a pic of her playing soccer with, "Preparing for playoffs while in my Beyoncé lemonade era." A comment from user @lgbtlfg said, "the fact that a lot of players in these comment’s usually mind their business and stay out of drama but are supporting ali should tell everyone all they need to know."

The only thing Ashlyn said about it on Instagramis that she never intended for her and Ali's divorce to be made a public matter. A portion of her note says, "This process is never easy, but we were making our way through."

Have Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris publicly talked about their relationship?

Image via Vivien Killilea/Getty Images for Tequila Don Julio

March 2024

Besides showing up to Elton John's Oscars afterparty together, Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris were previously tight-lipped about their relationship. The only hint Sophia offered was much more of a reflective post about 2023 on Instagramat the beginning of January. She said, "This year taught me to listen to myself and no one else. To let go of expectation that wounds and grasp possibility that frees. To not care about optics and instead invest in honesty."

But, she's since chosen to own where she is in life.

Image via Lauren Dukoff/Glamour Magazine

Sophia Bush on the cover of Glamour Magazine

April 2024

Sophia Bush has now reached a point where she's publicly ready to stand in her truth regarding her life and her relationship status so much that she penned her own cover story for Glamour. The first thing she did was open up about how she really felt about her marriage and fertility struggles.

She wrote, "But after the wedding I found myself in the depths and heartbreak of the fertility process, which was the most clarifying experience of my life. It feels like society is finally making space for brutally honest conversations about how hard and painful any fertility journey is, but I kept mine private. I was trying to get through months of endless ultrasounds, hormone shots, so many blood draws that I have scar tissue in my veins, and retrieval after retrieval, while simultaneously realizing the person I had chosen to be my partner didn’t necessarily speak the same emotional language I did.”

Image via Lauren Dukoff/Glamour Magazine

As far as her relationship with Ashlyn Harris is concerned, the star is enjoying the love that exists between them. Contrary to alleged rumors, their initial relationship was a platonic one that stemmed from a place of understanding and support.

She told Glamour,I didn’t expect to find love in this support system. I don’t know how else to say it other than: I didn’t see it until I saw it. And I think it’s very easy not to see something that’s been in front of your face for a long time when you’d never looked at it as an option and you had never been looked at as an option. What I saw was a friend with her big, happy life. And now I know she thought the same thing about me.”

She also added, "A lot of effort was made to be graceful with other people’s processing, their time and obligations, and their feelings. What felt like seconds after I started to see what was in front of me, the online rumor mill began to spit in the ugliest ways. There were blatant lies. Violent threats. There were the accusations of being a home-wrecker. The ones who said I’d left my ex because I suddenly realized I wanted to be with women—my partners have known what I’m into for as long as I have (so that’s not it, y’all, sorry!).”

Image via Lauren Dukoff/Glamour Magazine

It's safe to say that Sophia Bush is thoroughly comfortable with her love life and identity as a queer woman. She said, "I’ve experienced so much safety, respect, and love in the queer community, as an ally all of my life, that, as I came into myself, I already felt it was my home. I think I’ve always known that my sexuality exists on a spectrum. Right now I think the word that best defines it is queer. I can’t say it without smiling, actually. And that feels pretty great.”

And this is what it looks like to reclaim your narrative when so many people are looking at a brief glimpse of the lives of celebrities. We love that Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris are loving each other on their terms without feeling pressured to share anything before they were ready to. Our hope is that their love story continues to unfold beautifully.

Be sure to watch Sophia Bush's interview with Glamour's Editor-in-Chief Samantha Barry here!

Full Credits From Glamour Magazine:

Writer: Sophia Bush

Photographer: Lauren Dukoff

Stylist: Deborah Afshani

Hair: Matthew Collins

Makeup: Afton Williams

Manicure: Brittney Boyce

Have Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris made their official red carpet debut?

Image via Tasos Katopodis/Getty Images for Kimball Stroud & Associates

April 27, 2024

Per Glamour, Sophia Bush and Ashlyn made their official red carpet debut as a couple on Friday. They attended the White House Correspondent's dinner where they were dressed to impress in complementing black ensembles.

It's easy to see the glowing couple couldn't stop laughing and smiling as they posed for pictures that seemed to capture every good angle of their faces and style.

Image via Paul Morigi/Getty Images

After the dinner, Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris posed for more pictures on the red carpet leading to the Correspondent's after-party. Now that we're able to see their full faces, we have to talk about how well their hair and makeup complements their outfits. It's clear that Ashlyn's contour and bronzer were expertly applied to her face while Sophia's blush gave her a natural flush.

*Sigh* Their smiles are the only confirmation we need that they're enjoying the bliss of being a couple.

www.instagram.com

October 2024

Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris are packing on the PDA in Sophia's latest Instagram pic! In celebration of Ashlyn's birthday, Sophia shared an intimate photo of the two with a heartfelt message to celebrate the love of her life. Honestly, this is probably the happiest I've ever seen both of them and that makes my inner romantic giddy. Plus, they're such a good-looking couple! One of my favorite comments left on their picture is "if living her best life was a person" because it sums up how I feel about Sophia's growing romance with Ashlyn.

November 2024

Ashlyn Harris is finally telling her side of what led to her divorce and it has nothing to do with Sophia Bush. During her appearance on Naked Sports with Cari Champion, she talked about trying to save what she and ex-wife Ali Krieger had. "I started trying all these things, like, let’s do an open marriage." For Ashlyn, it was her "last attempt of" salvaging what they had.

Not only did that go against who she was, but Ashlyn dropped another bombshell about why she suggested it in the first place. "I felt so embarrassed and I felt so much shame that I didn’t know how to tell people that, like, oh, ‘My wife doesn’t want to touch me or doesn’t want to be intimate or doesn’t want this.'" Uh, no intimacy? Yikes.

She also admitted it felt like she fell last on the list of priorities in her and Krieger's marriage. "I didn’t feel that sense of connection, whether emotional or physical. It was soccer, job, kids, and then somewhere down the line it was like, ‘OK, what about me?'"

As far as her being the villain in the relationship, Ashlyn says it's completely untrue. "I’m constantly pegged as a cheater, which that is so far from the truth and she knows it." The image that Krieger's allowed to be painted of Ashlyn "torched" her, but it seems like she's chosen to focus on the happy relationship she's building with Sophia.

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This article has been updated.

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner may have split back in 2015, but they're spending an awfully lot of time together as of late. Ben's latest divorce from Jennifer Lopez was the split heard 'round the world this summer, after giving us the ever-enigmatic 'Bennifer 2.0' and its whirlwind marriage. However, we would be lying if we didn't say we were so sad when he and our favorite 13 Going On 30star ended things almost a decade ago.

Jen and Ben share three children together, and have found a way to successfully co-parent together. But could they be back on their way to finding something more? These two seem to be out and about together quite a lot lately, and it's got us thinking: could Ben reunite with yet another Jennifer from his past? Here's what's going on!

Everything you need to know about Ben Affleck & Jennifer Garner's latest outings together!

Page Sixreported that Jennifer and Ben were driving out in LA together this weekend, ultimately grabbing bagels and heading back to Ben's place. This outing comes after a source shared with PEOPLE that Jen and Ben are actually spending the holidays together this year.

"Jen truly just wants her kids to be happy. She will continue to make sure that they spend time together as a family and include Ben," the source said. "They have Christmas plans with the kids too. The kids enjoy when they all spend time together."

Christmas isn't the only holiday this former family of five will share this year. They all spent Thanksgiving together as well, and a source told Page Sixthat Ben Affleck "felt blessed" for that time together. Apparently, Ben feels like he "can just be himself" when he's with her. “Even though Ben and Jen have been split for a while now, he feels a certain level of comfort with her," the source said. “Ben has a strong relationship with Jen that will never dissipate because they have a lot of history together and she’s the mother of his kids.”

Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images

Meanwhile, another source shared with PEOPLEthat Jen, Ben, and their kids all worked together at The Midnight Mission's Thanksgiving Street Fair this year. The source said, “They truly enjoy giving back to their community and cherishing quality time together as a family."

Right now, Jen's technically still dating John Miller, according to PEOPLE. However, we'd be remiss not to notice how close the former couple is at the moment. Could there be rekindled feelings? Is this the REAL second chance love story we deserve? Is it really just about the mutual respect these two have for each other — and their family? Definitely keeping an eye on this space to see what happens next!

Regardless of their romantic relationship status, it's honestly so nice to see Ben spending time with his family at the holidays. Thankfully his highly dramatized relationship with Jennifer Lopez didn't seem to harm any goodwill Ben has with his kids and ex-wife, and there's something really lovely about that! So, here's hoping this modern family has a happy, happy holiday season!

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I’ve triedtons of different food trends in my day. From dumping chili oil on ice cream to concocting my very own Sleepy Girl Mocktail, nothing I’ve eaten measures up to the sheer weirdness we saw go viral on social media this year (major side eye to Dua Lipa’s pickle Diet Coke).

These are the top 5 most ridiculous TikTok-viral food trends of 2024 that left us questioning whether they really should’ve gone viral in the first place.

@claudiaeatsgood chamoy pickles are so good😋😩❤️ @Bussin Snacks #chamoypickle#chamoy#chamoypicklekit#bussinsnacks#takis#fruitrollup#mukbang#asmr#asmrmukbang#chamoypicklemukbang#juicy#pickle#mexicancandy♬ original sound - Claudia💕

1. Chamoy Pickles

People couldn't quit it with the chamoy pickles (AKA chickles) this year. I never would've guessed that chamoy, a condiment made from dried fruits, chilies, sugar, and lime juice, would be slathered atop the sourest pickles money can buy.

But the food trend didn't stop at just chamoy – many snackers stuffed their pickles with everything from the likes of Hot Cheetos, Takis, and Fruit Roll-Ups. What?!

This insanely sour, tangy treat kickstarted what the internet's coined as the 'Red 40 Diet', which certainly cannot be medically advised.

If you care for your GI tract, this food trend is 100% worth skipping and leaving behind in 2024.

@dualipaofficial

What do we call her?

♬ original sound - Dua Lipa

2. Pickle + Jalapeño-Infused Diet Coke

Diet Coke, pickle juice, and jalapeño juice = all the ingredients needed to concoct Dua Lipa's controversial 2024 drink. She loves it, but I on the other hand, do not.

Now, don't get me wrong: I love a good unexpected flavor combo, but gulping down a simultaneous dose of both pickle juice and jalapeño juice was not tasty to me whatsoever.

This trend even sparked a slew of Sonic diners to start ordering their soft drinks with pickles – but as divisive as this trend can be ("Don’t knock it till you try it," TikToker Mississippi Memaw told Food and Wine), it's just flat out weird.

@logagm

New cucumber recipe 🚨

♬ original sound - Logan

3. Cucumber Salad

If you bought a mandolin slicer recently, you might as well admit you're a victim of the TikTok-viral cucumber salad trend that made its rounds this year.

"Sometimes you need to eat an entire cucumber," TikTok user @logagmsounds off in the intro of every single one of his cucumber salad videos. And thus, the food trend was born.

It felt like I couldn't go a day on TikTok without seeing at least 5 recipes for a damn cucumber salad. When it comes down to it, I can appreciate the novelty (and taste) of this trend, but not the oversaturation. I'm gonna eat an entire cucumber one day, and get so tired of it the next. New innovations in 2025, please!

@kylekruegerr Would you try these?😂 #foodreview#seagrapes#food#review#tastetest#weirdfood♬ original sound - Kyle Krueger

4. Sea Grapes

It was like people wanted to eat the weirdest, grossest things in 2024. I can't blame 'em, especially if it's for clicks and views. But this food trend in particular literally made me want to gag – and I was only watching people eat through a screen (any fellow ASMR fans out there?).

They don't look like they're supposed to be crunchy, but they are. Sea grapes grow from aquatic plants and are filled with essentially what is a "salty liquid." They burst in the mouth when you eat them (one TikToker called them 'edible Orbeez'). Yuck.

@julieta.asmr I figured it out!! Blooper at the end 🥴 #asmr#asmrcommunity#asmrtiktoks#asmrvideo#asmrsounds#asmreating#asmrfood#asmrfyp#asmrmukbang#mukbang#asmreatingsounds♬ original sound - Julieta ASMR 🍒

5. Exploding Candies

The final (and especially weird) food trend I propose we leave behind in 2024 is these dang exploding jelly candies. They also made their rounds on ASMR TikTok, and I truly cannot stand to watch a single video featuring them.

First off, they look so annoying to consume. The fruit-shaped jellies are contained in a thin layer of plastic that's meant to burst open when you sink your teeth into it, prompting you to slurp out the sweetness inside. But what irks me the most is the fact that many people trying them can't even break the seal.

I'd rather watch someone make a simple PB&J than go to town on these microplastic-infused candies.

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As much as we love talking about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce...Jason Kelce and his wife Kylie Kelce deserve their time in the spotlight too! They have a loving and hilarious dynamic that's somehow made room for not one, but three kids. And guess what? They recently announced that baby number 4 is coming soon! From their very funny announcement to everything they've said since, there's a lot of fun to unpack here.

Here's everything to know about Jason Kelce & Kylie Kelce's exciting pregnancy!

When did Jason and Kylie announce she's pregnant?

Amazon Prime

Kylie Kelce shared the huge news on Instagram November 22nd! Of course grandma Donna Kelce was the first to leave a comment. She wrote, "🔥🔥🔥🔥😍😍😍 Love it!!!" Brittany Mahomes also commented by writing, "Ahhhhhh Congrats you guys!!!🥹🤍."

How did Jason and Kylie's other daughters react?

Amazon Prime

In Kylie's same Instagram post, her and Jason's daughters can be seen expressing a range of emotions. There's an 'Eek' expression from their oldest daughter Wyatt, a happy look from their middle daughter Elliott, and pure tears from baby girl Bennett. Kylie wrote, "I feel like we captured a very accurate representation of how each of the girls feel about getting another sister. At least Ellie, mom and dad are on the same page! 🤷♀️"

When is Jason and Kylie's fourth baby due?

Amazon Prime

That's TBD! Since the couple just announced their fourth pregnancy, only time will tell when baby girl will arrive. Knowing Jason and Kylie's willingness to be open about their lives, we wouldn't be surprised if they decide to share a due date.

How are Jason and Kylie preparing to be a family of six?

Amazon Prime

Jason Kelce is taking the news of being an official girl dad like a champ. He told E! Newshe's "got it pretty easy" because "the clothes are all going to be hand-me-downs or already bought." Not only that, but they've already secured a baby crib! However, Jason was quick to add Kylie's also getting ready for their daughter's arrival. "Kylie's definitely preparing more than I am, because she's actually growing the human being."

“I love my kids so much, and especially my daughters,” he added. "I was telling somebody out there because they're expecting their first — and they look at you. They smile at you. There's just a way that kids have to warm your soul in a way that nothing else can.”

He's also excited to watch his daughters grow up with a new sibling. "And hopefully we'll welcome a fourth into this world, and we'll be able to watch them fight and tear each other apart and all the good stuff."

He even appeared on The Rich Eisen Show where he joked, "I'm screwed [in] like in 10 years. The moment they’re all in middle school, I feel like it’s just gonna be chaos." He also hopes Wyatt "can start helping out a little bit more." But, he's still looking forward to it! "I obviously have not had a son, but there is something about a daughter in the way I think as a dad, you feel an extra amount probably of protection and love toward that child," he shared.

What has Kylie said about her fourth pregnancy?

Meanwhile, Kylie just opened up on her new podcast, Not Gonna Lie, about her feelings on her fourth pregnancy. She said, "I am so incredibly grateful to be able to get pregnant, but it is a means to an end. When I tell you that I cannot stand being pregnant, I mean it. I don't have a a fun time."

If that sounds a little uh...negative, it actually makes a lot more sense when she explained more! She elaborated, "I am nauseous for most of my pregnancy. It tapers off a little after the first trimester, but I continue to have nausea throughout my pregnancy." Woof, I know that's tough!

Kyle continued by explaining she hasn't even really had the fun, wacky cravings many pregnant people get — instead she's had more "aversions" in each of her pregnancies. I'll take cravings over aversions any day!

The podcast host then joked, "When you're super pregnant and someone comes up to you and says, 'Isn't this just the most beautiful thing ever? 'I want to punch you in the face. I'm not going to, but I want to."

Definitely wishing her a healthy, less aversion-filled pregnancy this go-around!

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This post has been updated.

First loves are TOUGH — especially when you start to see all the red flags you missed along the way once it's over. If you've been dissecting your own early love stories by reading Reddit threads or chatting with your girlfriends about their own relationship experiences, just know this: you're not alone! The entire Brit + Co staff even found ourselves discussing the first person we ever fell in love with...and the recounts did not disappoint. From realizing 19 seemed to be a common age for our all-time worst relationships to understanding how our first love was probably not as ideal as we originally thought, it made us wonder why we couldn't pinpoint red flags back then.

Licensed Psychotherapist Prerna Menon, founder of Boundless, LCSW-PLLC and Licensed marriage and family therapist Joseph Cavins, LMFT have a few thoughts that have helped us decode the precarious time in our lives.

Here's why some of us ignored how awful our first love might've been

1. We thought our first love was perfect and would argue with anyone who wanted us to take things slow with them.

Savannah Dematteo

I'll never forget the first time I fell in love at 19. I thought my ex was the "wind beneath my wings" because he had a great sense of humor and was creative like me. I told myself he was the person I was going to marry so I was offended when my parents didn't think he was mature enough to be in a serious relationship. If this sounds familiar, pull up a chair because Menon explains why we tend to idealize our first love.

"Your first love is your first experience with romantic love too, hence you typically see it with rose-colored glasses. The overwhelming emotion is often infatuation, which tends to overshadow the more critical and analytical part of our brain," she says. Sadly, this sounds like something my parents told me before but I couldn't fathom how true it was as a teen.

As the Clinical Director at Southern California Sunrise Recovery Center, Cavins has seen this play out before too. He says, "In your first relationship, there is a tendency to put your partner on a pedestal. The excitement of new love can create a powerful emotional fog that makes it hard to see flaws clearly."

Essentially, this "excitement of having a boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner supersedes" our ability to questions things we normally wouldn't put up with, according to Menon.

2. We tried to ignore the how many times our first loves disagreed with our values or goals.

Keira Burton

While some couples are able to make their relationship work despite having a different outlook on life, sometimes it can be a sign that things aren't going to work long-term. Cavins says, "One major red flag is disregarding differences in values or goals for the future. For instance, you wish to become a parent someday while your spouse swears this will never happen— or vice versa. Early on, you might dismiss these differences, believing love will conquer all. However, these mismatched priorities can lead to resentment and challenges over time."

Honestly, I probably should've ran whenever my ex would mock my belief in God only for us to have to attend his mother and stepfather's church whenever I visited. There was so much confusion there, but I tried to dismiss it as something he needed time to work out.

Menon adds, "If this relationship makes you feel like you'e standing in quick sand - where you are trying to move forward but often feel held back in your individual aspirations, it may not be the right fit for you."

3. We thought it was 'cute' when our first loves made suggestions about which friends to avoid or what clothes to wear.

Luis Zambrano

Cavins says, "Excessively possessive behaviors are another red flag that people often ignore easily when they fall in love for the first time. People tend to justify such behaviors by citing that it's due to love or protective instincts." I'm all for being in a relationship where your partner's able to see different sides of a picture, but controlling behavior shouldn't come with that. What might that look like?

Cavins says, "Your partner may frequently check in on you, offer opinions on who you should spend time with, or subtly pressure you into making choices that suit them." For example, your partner could start off making suggestions about your style that slowly morph into them controlling everything you wear. Somehow I went from being a self-professed 'girly-girl' to trying to emulate the style of 'sneakerheads' in a short amount of time. Though I love wearing everything from New Balance to Niké sneakers now, it's in a way that feels cohesive with my style.

You may have brushed this kind of behavior off because, again, you thought it meant your first love wanted the best for you. "It is understandable that such behavior hypothetically may come off as pleasant or affirming; however, they often signal an unhealthy dynamic of control rather than mutual respect," says

4. We always gave in when our first loves forced us to be affectionate.

Adely

*Sigh* I'm shaking my head for my younger self because there were many times I didn't advocate for myself in my first romantic relationship. I'd often give in to affectionate or intimate moments despite wanting personal space so I wouldn't be seen as 'boring' or uninterested in my ex. Menon says, "Given the infatuation, your first relationship can feel all-consuming and often is codependent. Hence, this may result in you overlooking that your partner does not respect your boundaries or desire for personal space."

Partly because the excitement of the relationship makes you want to spend all of your time together, until you don't. And then, it is often too late to correct a maladaptive historical pattern.

4. We always made excuses for why our partners would shower us with affection only to ignore us days later.

Pavel Danilyuk

Let's be clear, 'love bombing' feels confusing and awful. No one should make you feel like you're the center of their universe only to ignore your calls or texts days later. But, this probably happened while you were with your first love. Cavins says, "There's a tendency for people to brush off their first love's emotional unavailability. When, for example, a partner is not responsive and not engaging in intimate discussions or does not express their feelings, some may rationalize this as them being 'just not ready.'" If that were the case, this person wouldn't have made you feel like being with you is something they truly wanted.

Of that, Cavins believes "it's important to recognize these behaviors early" because "they can result in a one-side emotional investment that leaves one party feeling unfulfilled in the long run." Sadly, my first love would have days where he was super sweet to me only to feel like I was smothering him with attention. This is also the same person who begged me to remain in our romantic relationship when he went to basic training although I felt it would be better if we chose to be friends. Imagine my surprise (and hurt) when he told me we should have an open relationship months after getting stationed for the first time.

I should've known better because he was never 100% on board with the idea of marriage until after he graduated from basic training. Cavins calls this "emotional disconnectedness." His further explanation is this is "when the initial chemistry between the partners subsides that emotional attachment matters." To avoid this, he feels "identifying and addressing any of these is critical in a case where you are looking to create a strong and healthy bond."

5. We ignored the ways our former partner blamed us whenever they got in trouble with their parents or an authority figure.

Ketut Subiyanto

Did your first love have a hard time taking responsibility for things that went wrong by gaslighting you to absorb the blow of their mistakes? If you've furiously nodding, we should start a support group. Cavins says, "A key sign is a lack of personal or relational growth. Healthy relationships encourage mutual development, but if one partner stays stuck in old patterns while the other grows, it can create frustration and distance."

At no point should you be the reason why your first love got in trouble after answering their parents' house phone late at night after telling you to call at a certain time. It's situations like this that should've alerted us to awful behavior, but I can see how easy it is to dismiss things.

What if I'm in love for the first time and recognize these signs?

Andrea Piacquadio

First, my heart goes out to you for being in a relationship that doesn't feel healthy. It hurts when we realize the person we thought was so great is anything but. The road to letting go of idealization may be long, but you can and will get better. Cavins says, "In the process of self-healing and recovery, the first step that must be taken is self-reflection. Ask yourself all of the necessary questions that arise, such as what this relationship means for you, what your boundaries are, and what this partnership has revealed about you as an individual."

I keep saying this, but relying on journal prompts can help you unpack a lot of things and, thankfully, Cavins agrees. He says, "You could always opt to talk to a specialist or being journaling in order to find some closure and draw meaning from the experience." Also, he wants you to start "making new memories." But, don't be passive about it.

"You will have to engage yourself in activities that will help redirect the focus of your thoughts. This could include joining a new class, engaging in a hobby, or traveling that involves some independence. These experiences can help shift your mindset from loss to growth and reinforce your identity outside of the relationship," says Cavins.

Another important thing you can do is "solicit help from others," according to him. "Calling on people you trust, like friends and family, to talk about these feelings can significantly help in healing," he says. This also helped me navigate life outside of my first real romantic relationship, reminding me that I still had a lot of love in my life that didn't begin or end with my ex.

Here are Menon's tips:

  • Let yourself grieve — Let this loss run its course. If you need to feel angry, sad, distraught, nostalgic. Allow yourself the full breadth of this experience. If I ask you right now "don't think a out a yellow monkey", I can bet you just thought of a yellow monkey. We call this "the imp of the mind". When you reject feelings, or thoughts, they come back 10 times more fiercely. To move the feeling along, we must let ourselves experience it.
  • Rediscover your identity (So important) — Your first love is often intertwined with self-discovery, and identity formation. Reconsider your goals, interests, values, friendships and hobbies and try to build your own sense of identity and individuality.

Anastasia Nagibina

I saw my first love again and it feels like we're falling in love all over. Can we have a happy and healthy relationship?

I'm not going to tell you to run even though I told my ex I never wanted to speak or talk to him again. You could easily reconnect with the first person you fell in love with and realize that you're both in a place where you can have something beautiful. However, Cavins and Menon want you to be mindful if you're in this position.

"Reconnection is possible," begins Menon, "if both parties can objectively claim that they have grown emotionally and resolved the issues that held their relationship back." But, "if the reconnection is built on one person growing and the other not, it is likely to fail," she alerts. You'll need to "proceed with caution," she says because "your first love was a nostalgic era in your life that can cloud your judgement." To put it more clearly, she doesn't want you confuse "the fuzzies" with a "true knowing that the two of you can make it work."

Cavins says, "Reconnecting with a first love can trigger a strong wave of emotions, but it is important that such a decision is made with caution and a strong sense of pragmatism. Personal growth is a primary factor. Each party in the relationship must ask themselves how they have grown and evolved as individuals over time. If past patterns of conflict, immaturity, or unhealthy dynamics remain unaddressed, the same issues could resurface."

He wants you to consider these things:

  • Are there any active relationships or past engagements that would make it rather difficult? That's because the feelings that come with reigniting old flames are very strong and can alter a person’s life, making it essential to start thinking from all angles before going ahead with it.
  • Address previous challenges that caused the breakup in the first place. If the reasons behind the breakup have been resolved or do not exist anymore, then yes, meeting again has its prospects. However, keep in mind that, at times, memories can be selective and unfavorably distort the truth by overplaying the good qualities while avoiding the negative ones.
  • Only rekindle things if both individuals are in a healthy emotional state and the decision is grounded in practical, mutual considerations—not just sentimentality or romanticized memories. Clear and honest discussions and an understanding of purpose are vital in ascertaining if rekindling the relationship will be worthwhile for both parties or if it will simply be an act of revisiting unresolved emotions.

Menon's final piece of advice is similar in that she encourages you to be "self-critical, self-aware, and self-nourishing." She doesn't want you to be afraid to be "clear and transparent about your expectations for the relationship" either. Though we weren't a fan of the outcomes of our first real romantic relationships, they've made us wiser. So, shout out to our first loves for being the worst because they've become our best learning lessons.

That's not all! We have even more helpful articles about relationships & family if you're looking for everything from celebrity couples to navigating hard conversations during the holidays.

No matter how many times I rewatch The Vampire Diaries, there's nothing like seeing a cast reunion — and the weekend of December 6, we finally got to see our three favorite Mystic Falls gals together again! Nina Dobrev, Kat Graham, and Candice King were just some of The Vampire Diaries cast members who reunited for Epic Con to chat all things Elena, Bonnie, and Caroline...but things took a turn in the middle of the interview when one of the backdrops almost fell on Nina!

Keep reading to see what happened during The Vampire Diaries cast reunion with Nina Dobrev, Kat Graham, and Candice King.

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Even after all these years, Bonnie and Caroline are still saving Elena #tvd #thevampirediaries #ninadobrev #candiceking #katgraham #elanagilbert #carolineforbes #bonniebennett #epiccons

As someone who's done plenty of interviews myself, I know how fast a situation can spiral — and this interview accident is crazy. While talking on stage about the show, one of the backdrops begins to lean forward, and right before it falls on top of Nina, Candice and Kat quickly move to push it in the opposite direction.

"I don't want to see any 'Bonnie saves the day' memes," Kat jokes, referencing the fandom's love for Bonnie consistently helping the group throughout the show's eight-season run. "I don't want to see it, I don't want to hear it!" You can also see a relieved Nina hug Candice before revealing she thought it was a spider!

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In addition to this "Bonnie saves the day" moment (sorry, Kat, I couldn't help it!), the internet went crazy when Nina posted a video of her, Candice, and Kat recreating a photo they took during season 1 — especially after rumors have circulated for years that Kat Graham was mistreated on The Vampire Diaries set.

While these rumors have never been outright confirmed, fans have paid very special attention to what Kat has said...especially when she confirmedshe was the lowest-paid cast member and cried over her natural hair after revealing she wasn't really allowed to have an afro while filming.

"Love you girls so much!!!!!! 🥹❤️❤️❤️❤️" Kat commented on Nina's post, while a fan added, "And now the rumors can definitely be ended 🫶🏼❤️." These women are so powerful and clearly love each other so much, and I will take any and every cast reunion we can get!

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When Brit + Co caught up with Ian Somerhalder, he also expressed how much he loved filming The Vampire Diaries. "Every single day it was a laugh," he says. "I mean we had to be serious, you're running from ghosts and vampires and stuff, and you know, someone makes a fart joke and a 130 people erupt in laughter, there's only so much you can run for your life."

And thank goodness, Ian confirms just how much fun the cast had! "We laughed, that's how we kept each other sane," he says. "I spent 8 years on the show and now it's [been] 15 years. It's my longest relationship."

"I cannot believe it's been 15 years," he continues. "And so everyone who's seen the show, watched the show, supported us — and me — in any way, shape, and form regarding the show, I thank you from the bottom of my heart."

What would your dream The Vampire Diaries reunion look like? Let us know on Facebook!