There are almost as many Christmas Eve dinner ideas as there are cuisines. And that's a good thing, because you can't expect to power through Santa's big night on Christmas cookieand cocktail recipes alone (as delicious as that actually sounds right now). Your house may be the kind to appreciate some Christmas Eve buffet menu ideas. Or perhaps dinner options to eat in your PJs is what you and your loved ones are after. Whatever your style is, here are 50 recipes for a Christmas Eve spread that will put a spring in your step when you roll out of bed Christmas Day.
STARTERS
The Real Food Dietitians
Whipped Feta Dip With Roasted Olives
Go easy on yourself this holiday with this Mediterranean-inspired dip that takes just minutes to make! (via The Real Food Dietitians)
Clean Cuisine
Savory Stuffed Mushrooms
Serve these party-appropriate stuffed mushrooms made with cheese, peppers, and fresh herbs. (via Clean Cuisine)
Averie Cooks
Antipasto Tree
Turn your charcuterie board ingredients into a festive tree with mozzarella cheese, olives, pepperoncini peppers, and fresh rosemary! (via Averie Cooks)
Damn Delicious
Prosciutto Wrapped Asparagus
This veggie side is super simple, calling for just two ingredients and 10 minutes of prep work. Throw them in a skillet right before showtime and let the prosciutto get nice and crisp while the asparagus turns bright green and tender. They turn out perfect every time, trust us. (via Damn Delicious)
Kitchen Gidget
Puerto Rican Papas Rellenas
There's nothing more tasty on earth than crispy potato croquettes, unless it's potato croquettes stuffed with savory picadillo. Prepare for the onslaught, because *everyone* is going to want this Christmas Eve dinner menu idea. (via Kitchen Gidget)
This Wife Cooks
Red Onion Dip
Kick your guests' tastebuds in gear with this easy and delicious dip! (via This Wife Cooks)
Fake Ginger
Maple Pecan Baked Brie
Baked brie is so ooey-gooey delicious that it's definitely one of our favorite Christmas Eve dishes, and this one calls for ingredients you probably already have on hand. Serve it as an appetizer with a crisp white wine or in place of rolls at the table. It's always a crowd pleaser and goes great with dessert. (via Fake Ginger)
Brit + Co
Bacon Pastry Twists + Beer Cheese Dip
It doesn't have to be a game day to enjoy the this tasty Christmas Eve food idea. Serve these appetizers to everyone before dinner, or snack on them as you're preparing the rest of the food. Either way, you'll love this recipe! (Brit + Co)
Delicious Christmas Dinner Side Dishes
Brit + Co
Creamy, Cheesy Gratin
With sweet potatoes, Gruyère, cream, and sage all mixed in together, this is one easy Christmas Eve dinner dish (or Christmas brunch idea) that you'll never leave off your holiday menu ever again. (via Brit + Co)
Crowded Kitchen
Shaved Brussels Sprout Salad with Pomegranate and Candied Pecans
This shaved Brussels sprout salad with pomegranate, candied pecans and a lemon dijon vinaigrette went viral and is perfect for potlucks! (via Crowded Kitchen)
Hello Little Home
Sourdough Stuffing
This vegetarian stuffing is easy and loaded with flavor, making it perfect for your Christmas feast! (via Hello Little Home)
Kathryn's Kitchen
Creamy Stovetop Mac and Cheese
Skip the box in favor of this homemade recipe that takes less than 30 minutes! (via Kathryn's Kitchen)
Feel Good Foodie
Kale Pear Salad with Candied Walnuts
This kale salad is loaded with pears, and cranberries, topped with walnuts, and blue cheese with a homemade vinaigrette, making it perfect for the holiday table. (via Feel Good Foodie)
Brit + Co
Roasted Butternut Squash Salad
Butternut squash is one of those seasonal foods that's perfect in salads and adds a bit of weight to any Christmas Eve recipe. (via Brit + Co)
Brit + Co
Pumpkin Curry
This side dish can also serve as a main course for any plant-based eaters around your dinner table this Christmas Eve. The flavors of pumpkin and vegetables keep things light and bright, while the spicy curry will warm you to your toes. (via Brit + Co)
Brit + Co
A Green Bean Casserole for Every Dietary Need
Green bean casserole is so tasty that everyone should be able to enjoy it! With mushroom sauce, beans, and plenty of vegan and gluten-free swaps, this dish will be a Christmas favorite. (via Brit + Co)
Brit + Co
Slow Cooker French Onion Soup
There's nothing quite as cozy as a bowl of warm soup on Christmas Eve, and this slow cooker version is about as convenient as it gets. More time for wrapping presents! (via Brit + Co)
Half Baked Harvest
Crockpot Salsa Verde Chicken Pozole
This green pozole is bubbling over with the goodness of peppers and tomatillos, zucchini and sweet corn, avocado and cotija cheese — with fresh baked tortilla strips and roasted pumpkin seeds on top. One bite and your taste buds will be singing hallelujah! (via Half Baked Harvest)
Brit + Co
Romanesco Holiday Trees With Parmesan Snow
If you need a festive and easy Christmas Eve dinner idea, think of these pointy florets like miniature Christmas trees. Set them in a creamy cheese sauce and dust with Parmesan for a snowy (and tasty) side dish for your dinner. (via Brit + Co)
Vikalinka
Pan Fried Zucchini with Basil and Pecorino
Side dishes don't have to be underwhelming before your big Christmas dinner. Whip up this delicious pan of fried zucchini with basil and Pecorino Romano cheese that will make your guests ask for the recipe! (via Vikalinka)
Averie Cooks
Sweet Potato Cornbread
If you can't wait until Christmas to treat your family something sweet, make this sweet potato cornbread to go with your meal! You can either serve it as a side dish or treat it like dessert. (via Averie Cooks)
Seasons and Suppers
Make-Ahead Mashed Potatoes
Make-ahead sides are a real life saver at holiday time. These potatoes are whipped up with cream cheese, sour cream and eggs, so you can keep them in the fridge until the very last minute and they'll bake up to perfection, casserole style. (via Seasons and Suppers)
Bowl of Delicious
Maple Roasted Brussels Sprouts With Bacon
Toss Brussels sprouts with bacon grease, maple syrup, salt, and pepper, then roast until perfectly crispy and browned. So tasty! (via Bowl of Delicious)
The Iron You
The Best Baked Spinach Rice
This rice casserole is rich with three kinds of cheese, spices and lemon zest. Make a double batch and hold one back in the fridge for leftovers; you'll be thanking yourself amid tomorrow's wrapping paper frenzy. (via The Iron You)
Carlsbad Cravings
Secret Ingredient Honey Garlic Roasted Carrots
The trick to feeding a crowd with your Christmas Eve meal ideas is to make a meat or fish entreé with a plethora of easy and tasty sides. Well… nothing could be easier than these carrots that caramelize slowly to perfection in a balsamic glaze in a low-heat oven. This is one sweet veg you won't have to beg the kids to eat. (via Carlsbad Cravings)
The Best Christmas Dinner Main Courses
MAIN COURSES
Brit + Co
Cranberry-Glazed Roast Turkey
Make a turkey full of the flavors of the season with this simple, easy-to-follow recipe. (via Brit + Co)
A Spicy Perspective
Baked Ham with Brown Sugar Ham Glaze
Made with a flavorful brandy and brown sugar glaze, this baked ham is the perfect main dish for Christmas. (via A Spicy Perspective)
Brit + Co
Crisp, Golden Turkey
Here's everything you need to know about prepping, roasting, and serving the best bird you'll eat this year. You'll learn how to thought and season the turkey, as well as everything else you need in the kitchen to prepare it just right. (via Brit + Co)
Julia Frey of Vikalinka
Mushroom Wellington
Not just for vegetarians at the table, this Mushroom Wellington, flavored with roasted garlic, thyme and Parmesan cheese, then baked in flaky puff pastry, is an everyone pleaser! (via Julia Frey of Vikalinka)
The Original Dish
Spiced Rack of Lamb With Citrus Salad
Racks of lamb served with a fresh, vibrant citrus salad is a unique, refreshing take on holiday dinner. (via The Original Dish)
NeighborFood
Garlic Rosemary Prime Rib Roast With Horseradish Cream
Prime rib is always a showstopper, but the real star of this show is the homemade horseradish sauce. It cuts right through the richness of the beef, adding just the right amount of savory zing to this Christmas Eve dinner recipe. (via NeighborFood)
Donna Hay
Vegetable Béchamel Lasagna
If you haven't had lasagna made the old school way, with béchamel sauce instead of cheese, you are in for a *tasty* treat. This is one meatless dish even the carnivores in the house will be clamoring for — definitely add it to your Christmas eve dinner menu! (via Donna Hay)
Half Baked Harvest
White Wine Miso Braised Pot Roast
Slow-cook a beef pot roast braised in wine with onions, carrots, and fresh thyme, serve it alongside creamy mashed potatoes for a one-pot meal that’ warms a holiday crowd. (via Half Baked Harvest)
Iowa Girl Eats
Crock Pot Mojo Pork With Cuban-Style Black Beans
This pork shoulder is cooked the traditional way — in a tasty citrus trio of orange, lemon and lime juice, spiked with onion, jalapeño, herbs, spices and an entire head of garlic. Start it in the morning and it will bubble away happily in your slow cooker all day, giving you time (and counter space) to get the rest of the feast prepared. (via Iowa Girl Eats)
No. 2 Pencil
Slow Cooker Ham With Maple Brown Sugar Glaze
Ham is one of those hearty dishes that's great for feeding a crowd, but it's actually pretty tricky to get it just right. This recipe uses the slow cooker to your advantage, gently heating the meat all day in delectable juices without ever drying it out. Serve it in slices the next day for a Christmas morning breakfast add-on. (via No. 2 Pencil)
Two Peas and Their Pod
Beef Stroganoff
This 30-minute meal makes a great holiday main with tender strips of beef, mushrooms, and a rich and creamy sauce, serve dover egg noodles or mashed potatoes. (via Two Peas And Their Pod)
Salt & Lavender
Ranch Pork Tenderloin
If you're making a whole feast, this 30-minute meal with the tastiest gravy and tender and juicy pork would be the perfect addition! (via Salt & Lavender)
Pinch of Yum
Carnitas Tamale Pie
Christmas Eve menu ideas for a buffet cannot be complete without pie! Tamales are a tradition this time of year, but you know the old saying: It takes a village! If you're craving the flavor but dreading the assembly line, your new go-to recipe has arrived. (via Pinch of Yum)
Nerds With Knives
Lasagna Bolognese With Fontina Béchamel
Sometimes you want to mark a special occasion with a challenging dish. This lasagna bolognese is made completely from scratch, including the pasta, and your guests will appreciate that effort with every delicious bite they take. (via Nerds With Knives)
Crystal & Co.
Easiest Ever Lasagna Roll Up Recipe
When you love the *thought* of made-from-scratch lasagna but you just don't have the time, roll ups to the rescue! This Christmas Eve party menu idea is jump-started using store-bought ingredients, but no one will ever taste the difference. (via Crystal & Co.)
Host The Toast
Crock Pot General Tso's Chicken
Do you have fond memories of Chinese takeout on Christmas Eve? Before you dive into your Christmas desserts, serve up this crockpot version of everyone's fave, which tastes every bit as good as the real thing in case you were wondering. (via Host The Toast)
Christmas Eve Food Directly from the Sea
A Spicy Perspective
Lobster Fra Diavolo
When it comes to seafood, lobster is the crème de la crème. This Christmas Eve recipe, flavored the old fashioned way with clam juice and cognac, is sure to impress everyone at your holiday party table. (via A Spicy Perspective)
Nicky's Kitchen Sanctuary
Fish Pie With Cheesy Mash
Nothing beats a creamy fish pie when the *crust* is made of mashed taters. Here's a meal that's guaranteed to taste better if you eat it in your jammies followed by your favorite holiday cocktail. (via Nicky's Kitchen Sanctuary)
Saveur
Whole Roasted Branzino With Fennel and Onions
Whole roasted fish dishes are an Italian tradition on feast days. While this one looks like a culinary work of art sitting on your table, it actually comes together easily and calls for just seven ingredients. (via Saveur)
Christmas Eve Sweet Treats
Completely Delicious
Gingerbread Layer Cake with Cream Cheese Buttercream
This stunning gingerbread layer cake with cream cheese buttercream is surprisingly easy to make and perfect for the holidays! (via Completely Delicious)
Vanilla and Bean
Dark Chocolate Shortbread Cookies
Indulge in a cookie dessert that is delicious and not at all hard to make! (via Vanilla and Bean)
The Fast Recipe
Cookies With Strawberry Jam
Make these quick and easy thumbprint cookies with only five ingredients. (via The Fast Recipe)
Barley & Sage
Black Forest Cupcakes
For a decadent and delicious twist on holiday dessert, try these chocolate cupcakes with cherry filling and whipped cream. (via Barley & Sage)
Averie Cooks
Mini Cinnamon Sugar Pumpkin Muffins
These sweet fall treats are sure to become a fan-favorite when you serve them as part of your Christmas Eve dinner. (via Averie Cooks)
Completely Delicious
Fry Bread with Cinnamon Butter Honey
This recipe makes us think about funnel cake combined with yummy cinnamon butter honey. (via Completely Delicious)
Love these Christmas Eve dinner ideas? Follow us on Pinterest and check out our online cooking classes for more inspo.
This post has been updated with additional reporting by Jasmine Williams.
Featured image via Half Baked HarvestI’ve triedtons of different food trends in my day. From dumping chili oil on ice cream to concocting my very own Sleepy Girl Mocktail, nothing I’ve eaten measures up to the sheer weirdness we saw go viral on social media this year (major side eye to Dua Lipa’s pickle Diet Coke).
These are the top 5 most ridiculous TikTok-viral food trends of 2024 that left us questioning whether they really should’ve gone viral in the first place.
@claudiaeatsgood chamoy pickles are so good😋😩❤️ @Bussin Snacks #chamoypickle#chamoy#chamoypicklekit#bussinsnacks#takis#fruitrollup#mukbang#asmr#asmrmukbang#chamoypicklemukbang#juicy#pickle#mexicancandy♬ original sound - Claudia💕
1. Chamoy Pickles
People couldn't quit it with the chamoy pickles (AKA chickles) this year. I never would've guessed that chamoy, a condiment made from dried fruits, chilies, sugar, and lime juice, would be slathered atop the sourest pickles money can buy.
But the food trend didn't stop at just chamoy – many snackers stuffed their pickles with everything from the likes of Hot Cheetos, Takis, and Fruit Roll-Ups. What?!
This insanely sour, tangy treat kickstarted what the internet's coined as the 'Red 40 Diet', which certainly cannot be medically advised.
If you care for your GI tract, this food trend is 100% worth skipping and leaving behind in 2024.
@dualipaofficial What do we call her?
♬ original sound - Dua Lipa
2. Pickle + Jalapeño-Infused Diet Coke
Diet Coke, pickle juice, and jalapeño juice = all the ingredients needed to concoct Dua Lipa's controversial 2024 drink. She loves it, but I on the other hand, do not.
Now, don't get me wrong: I love a good unexpected flavor combo, but gulping down a simultaneous dose of both pickle juice and jalapeño juice was not tasty to me whatsoever.
This trend even sparked a slew of Sonic diners to start ordering their soft drinks with pickles – but as divisive as this trend can be ("Don’t knock it till you try it," TikToker Mississippi Memaw told Food and Wine), it's just flat out weird.
@logagm New cucumber recipe 🚨
♬ original sound - Logan
3. Cucumber Salad
If you bought a mandolin slicer recently, you might as well admit you're a victim of the TikTok-viral cucumber salad trend that made its rounds this year.
"Sometimes you need to eat an entire cucumber," TikTok user @logagmsounds off in the intro of every single one of his cucumber salad videos. And thus, the food trend was born.
It felt like I couldn't go a day on TikTok without seeing at least 5 recipes for a damn cucumber salad. When it comes down to it, I can appreciate the novelty (and taste) of this trend, but not the oversaturation. I'm gonna eat an entire cucumber one day, and get so tired of it the next. New innovations in 2025, please!
@kylekruegerr Would you try these?😂 #foodreview#seagrapes#food#review#tastetest#weirdfood♬ original sound - Kyle Krueger
4. Sea Grapes
It was like people wanted to eat the weirdest, grossest things in 2024. I can't blame 'em, especially if it's for clicks and views. But this food trend in particular literally made me want to gag – and I was only watching people eat through a screen (any fellow ASMR fans out there?).
They don't look like they're supposed to be crunchy, but they are. Sea grapes grow from aquatic plants and are filled with essentially what is a "salty liquid." They burst in the mouth when you eat them (one TikToker called them 'edible Orbeez'). Yuck.
@julieta.asmr I figured it out!! Blooper at the end 🥴 #asmr#asmrcommunity#asmrtiktoks#asmrvideo#asmrsounds#asmreating#asmrfood#asmrfyp#asmrmukbang#mukbang#asmreatingsounds♬ original sound - Julieta ASMR 🍒
5. Exploding Candies
The final (and especially weird) food trend I propose we leave behind in 2024 is these dang exploding jelly candies. They also made their rounds on ASMR TikTok, and I truly cannot stand to watch a single video featuring them.
First off, they look so annoying to consume. The fruit-shaped jellies are contained in a thin layer of plastic that's meant to burst open when you sink your teeth into it, prompting you to slurp out the sweetness inside. But what irks me the most is the fact that many people trying them can't even break the seal.
I'd rather watch someone make a simple PB&J than go to town on these microplastic-infused candies.
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Well, if it isn’t another Starbucks menu leak! This go-around – courtesy of food blogger @markie_devo – speculates an exciting drop of 4 new drinks, 2 new snacks, and one very long-awaited reformulation to Starbucks’ matcha powder (at least, according to matcha fanatics like me). New items are rumored to drop on January 2 and February 4, 2025.
Scroll on to see everything rumored to join the Starbucks January (& February!) menu at the top of 2025!
Of the 4 new drinks is a traditional café staple – the cortado – that Starbucks has never served before. It’s rumored to be made with shots of the chain’s “higher profile” ristretto espresso.
It also appears as though Starbucks is finally rethinking their approach to matcha lattes. Their current matcha powder comes pre-sweetened, enough to bulk up a single drink with 29 whopping grams of sugar. But, the new (rumored) powder will come “completely unsweetened” and only be sweetened with Starbucks’ classic syrup by default. Plus, the menu leak claims baristas will prepare matcha lattes in a blender moving forward – rather than a shaker – to better infuse the matcha powder for a smoother sip.
The menu leak comes about a month after Starbucks announced they’re no longer charging extra for alternative milk.
All in all, the leaked Starbucks winter menu for 2025 suggests that the chain is making small strides towards authenticity – perhaps a reflection of new CEO Brian Niccol‘s vision to return “back to Starbucks.”
Drinks On The Leaked 2025 Starbucks Winter Menu
Starbucks UK
NEW! Cortado
Starbucks' cortado debut will reportedly include 3 ristretto shots of blonde espresso and steamed whole milk. Ristretto shots are essentially more condensed than your traditional shot of espresso – they use half the amount of water for a more concentrated, sweeter taste.
Due to the traditional construction of a cortado, this drink will only be available in Starbucks' short size.
This drink is rumored to join the Starbucks winter menu on January 2, 2025.
NEW! Brown Sugar Oat Milk Cortado
The Brown Sugar Oat Milk Cortado is speculated to follow the same recipe, but swaps whole milk for oat milk and adds brown sugar syrup and cinnamon to the mix. It's extremely similar to the chain's popular Brown Sugar Oat Milk Shaken Espresso. It looks delish.
This drink is rumored to join the Starbucks winter menu on January 2, 2025.
NEW! Blackberry Sage Refresher
Now this is how you do a flavor combo. Like most Starbucks Refreshers, this rumored iteration will be available to order as a plain Refresher or with lemonade.
This drink is rumored to join the Starbucks winter menu on February 4, 2025.
Starbucks
Chocolate-Covered Strawberry Crème Frappuccino
This blended frozen bev hit the Starbucks menu back in February 2024, just in time for Valentine's Day (AKA the best holiday ever)! It's supposed to taste just like chocolate-covered strawberries, which makes me want a sip ASAP.
This drink is rumored to join the Starbucks winter menu on February 4, 2025.
NEW! Chocolate Hazelnut Cookie Cold Brew
Hazelnut syrup and chocolate cream cold foam make this cold brew sweet as can be. It gets topped with some cookie crumbles for a fun texture, too. I love hazelnut and chocolate flavors respectively, so when mixed together, it's gotta be tasty!
This drink is rumored to join the Starbucks winter menu on February 4, 2025.
Starbucks
Pistachio Latte
Oh, I can't wait until the Pistacho Latte is back on the menu. Let's hope the rumors are true!
This drink is rumored to join the Starbucks winter menu on January 2, 2025.
Pistachio Cream Cold Brew
Speculated to join the famed Pistacho Latte is the Pistachio Cream Cold Brew, which layers a creamy layer of pistachio-infused cold foam on top of Starbucks' strong cold brew.
This drink is rumored to join the Starbucks winter menu on January 2, 2025.
Food On The Leaked 2025 Starbucks Winter Menu
NEW! Spicy Falafel Pocket
Ooh, this new food item is vegan, according to menu leaks! It's rumored to include smashed falafel, creamy hummus, roasted red bell peppers, pickled onions, and a spicy herb sauce inside a toasted piece of lavash flatbread. Plus, it'll include a dippable cup of Bitchin' Sauce, which I am practically addicted to. I can't wait to try this one!
This item is rumored to join the Starbucks winter menu on January 2, 2025.
Vanilla Bean Custard Danish
This danish is just like Starbucks' classic Cheese Danish, but leans sweeter, thanks to the vanilla bean.
This item is rumored to join the Starbucks winter menu on January 2, 2025.
NEW! Valentine Cake Pop
Finally, this adorable little cake pop – Valentine's-themed, no less – flaunts a cute heart design with flavors of vanilla and buttercream.
This item is rumored to join the Starbucks winter menu on February 4, 2025.
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First loves are TOUGH — especially when you start to see all the red flags you missed along the way once it's over. If you've been dissecting your own early love stories by reading Reddit threads or chatting with your girlfriends about their own relationship experiences, just know this: you're not alone! The entire Brit + Co staff even found ourselves discussing the first person we ever fell in love with...and the recounts did not disappoint. From realizing 19 seemed to be a common age for our all-time worst relationships to understanding how our first love was probably not as ideal as we originally thought, it made us wonder why we couldn't pinpoint red flags back then.
Licensed Psychotherapist Prerna Menon, founder of Boundless, LCSW-PLLC and Licensed marriage and family therapist Joseph Cavins, LMFT have a few thoughts that have helped us decode the precarious time in our lives.
Here's why some of us ignored how awful our first love might've been
1. We thought our first love was perfect and would argue with anyone who wanted us to take things slow with them.
I'll never forget the first time I fell in love at 19. I thought my ex was the "wind beneath my wings" because he had a great sense of humor and was creative like me. I told myself he was the person I was going to marry so I was offended when my parents didn't think he was mature enough to be in a serious relationship. If this sounds familiar, pull up a chair because Menon explains why we tend to idealize our first love.
"Your first love is your first experience with romantic love too, hence you typically see it with rose-colored glasses. The overwhelming emotion is often infatuation, which tends to overshadow the more critical and analytical part of our brain," she says. Sadly, this sounds like something my parents told me before but I couldn't fathom how true it was as a teen.
As the Clinical Director at Southern California Sunrise Recovery Center, Cavins has seen this play out before too. He says, "In your first relationship, there is a tendency to put your partner on a pedestal. The excitement of new love can create a powerful emotional fog that makes it hard to see flaws clearly."
Essentially, this "excitement of having a boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner supersedes" our ability to questions things we normally wouldn't put up with, according to Menon.
2. We tried to ignore the how many times our first loves disagreed with our values or goals.
While some couples are able to make their relationship work despite having a different outlook on life, sometimes it can be a sign that things aren't going to work long-term. Cavins says, "One major red flag is disregarding differences in values or goals for the future. For instance, you wish to become a parent someday while your spouse swears this will never happen— or vice versa. Early on, you might dismiss these differences, believing love will conquer all. However, these mismatched priorities can lead to resentment and challenges over time."
Honestly, I probably should've ran whenever my ex would mock my belief in God only for us to have to attend his mother and stepfather's church whenever I visited. There was so much confusion there, but I tried to dismiss it as something he needed time to work out.
Menon adds, "If this relationship makes you feel like you'e standing in quick sand - where you are trying to move forward but often feel held back in your individual aspirations, it may not be the right fit for you."
3. We thought it was 'cute' when our first loves made suggestions about which friends to avoid or what clothes to wear.
Cavins says, "Excessively possessive behaviors are another red flag that people often ignore easily when they fall in love for the first time. People tend to justify such behaviors by citing that it's due to love or protective instincts." I'm all for being in a relationship where your partner's able to see different sides of a picture, but controlling behavior shouldn't come with that. What might that look like?
Cavins says, "Your partner may frequently check in on you, offer opinions on who you should spend time with, or subtly pressure you into making choices that suit them." For example, your partner could start off making suggestions about your style that slowly morph into them controlling everything you wear. Somehow I went from being a self-professed 'girly-girl' to trying to emulate the style of 'sneakerheads' in a short amount of time. Though I love wearing everything from New Balance to Niké sneakers now, it's in a way that feels cohesive with my style.
You may have brushed this kind of behavior off because, again, you thought it meant your first love wanted the best for you. "It is understandable that such behavior hypothetically may come off as pleasant or affirming; however, they often signal an unhealthy dynamic of control rather than mutual respect," says
4. We always gave in when our first loves forced us to be affectionate.
*Sigh* I'm shaking my head for my younger self because there were many times I didn't advocate for myself in my first romantic relationship. I'd often give in to affectionate or intimate moments despite wanting personal space so I wouldn't be seen as 'boring' or uninterested in my ex. Menon says, "Given the infatuation, your first relationship can feel all-consuming and often is codependent. Hence, this may result in you overlooking that your partner does not respect your boundaries or desire for personal space."
Partly because the excitement of the relationship makes you want to spend all of your time together, until you don't. And then, it is often too late to correct a maladaptive historical pattern.
4. We always made excuses for why our partners would shower us with affection only to ignore us days later.
Let's be clear, 'love bombing' feels confusing and awful. No one should make you feel like you're the center of their universe only to ignore your calls or texts days later. But, this probably happened while you were with your first love. Cavins says, "There's a tendency for people to brush off their first love's emotional unavailability. When, for example, a partner is not responsive and not engaging in intimate discussions or does not express their feelings, some may rationalize this as them being 'just not ready.'" If that were the case, this person wouldn't have made you feel like being with you is something they truly wanted.
Of that, Cavins believes "it's important to recognize these behaviors early" because "they can result in a one-side emotional investment that leaves one party feeling unfulfilled in the long run." Sadly, my first love would have days where he was super sweet to me only to feel like I was smothering him with attention. This is also the same person who begged me to remain in our romantic relationship when he went to basic training although I felt it would be better if we chose to be friends. Imagine my surprise (and hurt) when he told me we should have an open relationship months after getting stationed for the first time.
I should've known better because he was never 100% on board with the idea of marriage until after he graduated from basic training. Cavins calls this "emotional disconnectedness." His further explanation is this is "when the initial chemistry between the partners subsides that emotional attachment matters." To avoid this, he feels "identifying and addressing any of these is critical in a case where you are looking to create a strong and healthy bond."
5. We ignored the ways our former partner blamed us whenever they got in trouble with their parents or an authority figure.
Did your first love have a hard time taking responsibility for things that went wrong by gaslighting you to absorb the blow of their mistakes? If you've furiously nodding, we should start a support group. Cavins says, "A key sign is a lack of personal or relational growth. Healthy relationships encourage mutual development, but if one partner stays stuck in old patterns while the other grows, it can create frustration and distance."
At no point should you be the reason why your first love got in trouble after answering their parents' house phone late at night after telling you to call at a certain time. It's situations like this that should've alerted us to awful behavior, but I can see how easy it is to dismiss things.
What if I'm in love for the first time and recognize these signs?
First, my heart goes out to you for being in a relationship that doesn't feel healthy. It hurts when we realize the person we thought was so great is anything but. The road to letting go of idealization may be long, but you can and will get better. Cavins says, "In the process of self-healing and recovery, the first step that must be taken is self-reflection. Ask yourself all of the necessary questions that arise, such as what this relationship means for you, what your boundaries are, and what this partnership has revealed about you as an individual."
I keep saying this, but relying on journal prompts can help you unpack a lot of things and, thankfully, Cavins agrees. He says, "You could always opt to talk to a specialist or being journaling in order to find some closure and draw meaning from the experience." Also, he wants you to start "making new memories." But, don't be passive about it.
"You will have to engage yourself in activities that will help redirect the focus of your thoughts. This could include joining a new class, engaging in a hobby, or traveling that involves some independence. These experiences can help shift your mindset from loss to growth and reinforce your identity outside of the relationship," says Cavins.
Another important thing you can do is "solicit help from others," according to him. "Calling on people you trust, like friends and family, to talk about these feelings can significantly help in healing," he says. This also helped me navigate life outside of my first real romantic relationship, reminding me that I still had a lot of love in my life that didn't begin or end with my ex.
Here are Menon's tips:
- Let yourself grieve — Let this loss run its course. If you need to feel angry, sad, distraught, nostalgic. Allow yourself the full breadth of this experience. If I ask you right now "don't think a out a yellow monkey", I can bet you just thought of a yellow monkey. We call this "the imp of the mind". When you reject feelings, or thoughts, they come back 10 times more fiercely. To move the feeling along, we must let ourselves experience it.
- Rediscover your identity (So important) — Your first love is often intertwined with self-discovery, and identity formation. Reconsider your goals, interests, values, friendships and hobbies and try to build your own sense of identity and individuality.
I saw my first love again and it feels like we're falling in love all over. Can we have a happy and healthy relationship?
I'm not going to tell you to run even though I told my ex I never wanted to speak or talk to him again. You could easily reconnect with the first person you fell in love with and realize that you're both in a place where you can have something beautiful. However, Cavins and Menon want you to be mindful if you're in this position.
"Reconnection is possible," begins Menon, "if both parties can objectively claim that they have grown emotionally and resolved the issues that held their relationship back." But, "if the reconnection is built on one person growing and the other not, it is likely to fail," she alerts. You'll need to "proceed with caution," she says because "your first love was a nostalgic era in your life that can cloud your judgement." To put it more clearly, she doesn't want you confuse "the fuzzies" with a "true knowing that the two of you can make it work."
Cavins says, "Reconnecting with a first love can trigger a strong wave of emotions, but it is important that such a decision is made with caution and a strong sense of pragmatism. Personal growth is a primary factor. Each party in the relationship must ask themselves how they have grown and evolved as individuals over time. If past patterns of conflict, immaturity, or unhealthy dynamics remain unaddressed, the same issues could resurface."
He wants you to consider these things:
- Are there any active relationships or past engagements that would make it rather difficult? That's because the feelings that come with reigniting old flames are very strong and can alter a person’s life, making it essential to start thinking from all angles before going ahead with it.
- Address previous challenges that caused the breakup in the first place. If the reasons behind the breakup have been resolved or do not exist anymore, then yes, meeting again has its prospects. However, keep in mind that, at times, memories can be selective and unfavorably distort the truth by overplaying the good qualities while avoiding the negative ones.
- Only rekindle things if both individuals are in a healthy emotional state and the decision is grounded in practical, mutual considerations—not just sentimentality or romanticized memories. Clear and honest discussions and an understanding of purpose are vital in ascertaining if rekindling the relationship will be worthwhile for both parties or if it will simply be an act of revisiting unresolved emotions.
Menon's final piece of advice is similar in that she encourages you to be "self-critical, self-aware, and self-nourishing." She doesn't want you to be afraid to be "clear and transparent about your expectations for the relationship" either. Though we weren't a fan of the outcomes of our first real romantic relationships, they've made us wiser. So, shout out to our first loves for being the worst because they've become our best learning lessons.
That's not all! We have even more helpful articles about relationships & family if you're looking for everything from celebrity couples to navigating hard conversations during the holidays.
Nina Dobrev Just Shut Down Years Of 'Vampire Diaries' Drama Rumors (And The Internet's Going Crazy)
Dec 09, 2024
No matter how many times I rewatch The Vampire Diaries, there's nothing like seeing a cast reunion — and the weekend of December 6, we finally got to see our three favorite Mystic Falls gals together again! Nina Dobrev, Kat Graham, and Candice King were just some of The Vampire Diaries cast members who reunited for Epic Con to chat all things Elena, Bonnie, and Caroline...but things took a turn in the middle of the interview when one of the backdrops almost fell on Nina!
Keep reading to see what happened during The Vampire Diaries cast reunion with Nina Dobrev, Kat Graham, and Candice King.
As someone who's done plenty of interviews myself, I know how fast a situation can spiral — and this interview accident is crazy. While talking on stage about the show, one of the backdrops begins to lean forward, and right before it falls on top of Nina, Candice and Kat quickly move to push it in the opposite direction.
"I don't want to see any 'Bonnie saves the day' memes," Kat jokes, referencing the fandom's love for Bonnie consistently helping the group throughout the show's eight-season run. "I don't want to see it, I don't want to hear it!" You can also see a relieved Nina hug Candice before revealing she thought it was a spider!
In addition to this "Bonnie saves the day" moment (sorry, Kat, I couldn't help it!), the internet went crazy when Nina posted a video of her, Candice, and Kat recreating a photo they took during season 1 — especially after rumors have circulated for years that Kat Graham was mistreated on The Vampire Diaries set.
While these rumors have never been outright confirmed, fans have paid very special attention to what Kat has said...especially when she confirmedshe was the lowest-paid cast member and cried over her natural hair after revealing she wasn't really allowed to have an afro while filming.
"Love you girls so much!!!!!! 🥹❤️❤️❤️❤️" Kat commented on Nina's post, while a fan added, "And now the rumors can definitely be ended 🫶🏼❤️." These women are so powerful and clearly love each other so much, and I will take any and every cast reunion we can get!
- YouTube
When Brit + Co caught up with Ian Somerhalder, he also expressed how much he loved filming The Vampire Diaries. "Every single day it was a laugh," he says. "I mean we had to be serious, you're running from ghosts and vampires and stuff, and you know, someone makes a fart joke and a 130 people erupt in laughter, there's only so much you can run for your life."
And thank goodness, Ian confirms just how much fun the cast had! "We laughed, that's how we kept each other sane," he says. "I spent 8 years on the show and now it's [been] 15 years. It's my longest relationship."
"I cannot believe it's been 15 years," he continues. "And so everyone who's seen the show, watched the show, supported us — and me — in any way, shape, and form regarding the show, I thank you from the bottom of my heart."
What would your dream The Vampire Diaries reunion look like? Let us know on Facebook!