Why You Shouldn’t Be Afraid to Have Hard Conversations

Do you get a knot in your stomach just thinking about addressing relationship weight gain with bae and being honest without being too mean? We don’t blame you. Hard conversations are NOT fun, but talking about tough stuff in a genuine and meaningful way is super important. That’s why we chatted with Kelly McNelis, the founder of Women for One and an expert in showing women how to live a life they love. She broke down some of the most common issues behind having serious talks and how you can say exactly how you feel in a direct but caring way. Read on for tips that’ll help you tap into your truth.

staying quiet isn’t healthy

Speaking up can be really tough to do, but finding the strength to communicate is super important for handling conflict in a healthy way. McNelis says, “Avoiding hard conversations leads us to swallow our feelings, which is literally unhealthy. Resentments we fail to address turn into blame or anger, or they manifest in different ways, like a stress-related illness.” Eek!

If we avoid hard conversations, we hide from the people we’re at odds with, and that doesn’t solve anything. McNelis says, “When we’re acting from fight or flight mode, we get stuck in a state of reacting to what is happening rather than responding from self-awareness and integrity. In every sense of the word, people have forgotten how to ‘adult.’” The power of hard conversations comes from connecting with each other in meaningful ways, like sharing our thoughts, opinions, and voice. “This is how we start working together to create new solutions,” McNelis adds. “We can build our self-esteem and confidence, improve communication skills, and positively affect all of the relationships in our lives!”

Why do we avoid tough talks?

According to McNelis, women have a particularly tough time broaching sensitive subjects or speaking up. Why is that? McNelis has three reasons:

1. We care a ton. Feel like you naturally put your relationships above everything else? You’re not alone. McNelis says, “Women are natural caretakers and peacemakers. We’re trained to be nice, and many of us are afraid of being seen as bitchy. Unfortunately, many of us haven’t been taught to own our thoughts and feelings, so we think they’ll negatively impact our connections with others.”

Having a hard convo doesn’t mean a relationship needs to end. McNelis says it’s a total myth that sharing your raw truth will result in something awful, like the other person shutting down or walking away. Instead, addressing conflict with a BFF or partner can actually help us open up and build a stronger connection. “These are strengths that all women have and can choose to enhance,” she says.

2. We don’t know how to set boundaries. “Sometimes we are so busy taking care of others that we forget to put on our own oxygen mask,” McNelis says. “We have to learn how to say ‘no’ more often, and tap into the power of clarity and choice.” To do so, she says to remind yourself that you can’t be everything to everyone. “When people choose to dislike us for standing up for ourselves and sharing our truths, I’m not sure it’s worth it to have them in our lives,” she advises.

3. We don’t like conflict. We have to admit, social media has made it way too easy to hide behind our computers. McNelis agrees, “These days, you can block or unfriend someone you disagree with, instead of hearing them out and offering your feedback in a neutral and compassionate way.” Instead of cutting someone out because they disagree with your point of view, she says you should “get curious and try to understand why.”

how to have a productive convERSATION

It’s not always possible to have a hard conversation that’s totally painless, but McNelis says there are a number of things we can do to make sure it’s a super-productive experience for both people. Here are her top tips:

1. Tell the truth. Speaking the truth, being vulnerable and honest is the most important thing you can do in a hard conversation, McNelis says. “This isn’t about getting it right, but about connecting with your shared humanity — the parts of you both that are tender, unpolished, and sometimes rough around the edges.”

While it’s not always easy, being totally honest and transparent with the other person can help you understand each other better and rebuild your relationship. “When you’re transparent and authentic, you get clarity,” McNelis says. “You also demonstrate to others that you are trustworthy.”

2. Listen up. It’s important to do more listening than talking when having a tough conversation. “Listening is not a passive undertaking where you let the other person walk all over you,” McNelis says. “It’s about giving people the space to be heard. Nine out of 10 times, people are so busy formulating a response and a defense that they totally forget this part.”

3. Take a power pause.Ever feel like a hard convo is heated or scary? It happens to the best of us! If you’re in this situation, McNelis suggests taking a “power pause,” or a moment to slow down, breathe, and check in with yourself. “Notice how the other person is reacting too,” she says. “Ask them how they feel and notice how this can help ease any tensions you both feel.” Such sound advice!

Have you had a hard convo recently? Tell us how you brought it up and talked it through on Twitter @BritandCo.

(Photos via Getty)

Sometimes we're looking for love in all the wrong places — and sometimes we're just looking for love in all the wrong ways. That's where your rising sign can come in. In this week's Ask An Astrologer column with Lumi Pelinku, our reader feels like they just can't find their footing romantically. Luckily, Lumi has the best relationship advice — and it all starts with your rising sign! Here's how you can use your own rising sign to level up your romantic life!

Juan Pablo Serrano

Dear Lumi: Will I ever be worthy of being loved romantically? I have never been in a relationship, and I’m scared I will never be. I have so much love to give, but I don’t think I’ll ever have the chance to show it.

Bean, Illinois

  • Sun sign: Virgo
  • Rising sign: Cancer
  • Moon sign: Gemini

Yuri Manei

Dear Virgo: I understand where you're coming from, as many people feel this way these days. Here’s a little personal story from my journey: In my early 20s, I was pretty inexperienced in love and pressured by societal expectations to settle down by 30. Sigh...

I went to great lengths to attract a partner, even dabbling in spells and misleading manifestation techniques. Please tread carefully if you're trying this. Instead of finding true love, I drew a series of “ghosts” and situationships. I felt I had so much love to offer, but it all led to emptiness and eventually a toxic relationship with someone I thought was my soulmate, but turned out to be my karmic partner. There’s more to this story, but let’s save it for another time.

The end of that relationship led me to discover the essence of self-love and self-acceptance, eventually stepping into my own worth. Astrology has become a guiding light for me in that regard — and can be for you, too.

​Let’s Talk About Your Rising Sign & How It Defines Your Relationship Standards

Luke Miller

In astrology, examining your rising sign can offer profound insights. With Cancer rising, your soul yearns for deep, emotional connections. Creating a biological or soul family may bring you joy and fulfillment. Opposite Cancer is Capricorn, which governs the 7th house of your birth chart — the area that reveals the type of partners you need and what you should embody to feel complete, whether you’re with someone or not. A Capricorn-ruled 7th house suggests that a structured, secure, and straightforward partner will align with your needs. If you find yourself in a relationship that feels stagnant or uncertain from the start, it’s a sign that you’re not embodying Capricorn’s qualities, and it might be time to move on.

Arina Krasnikova

Your natural tendency to give and care deeply for others stems from a place of genuine concern and desire to ensure everyone’s well-being. However, it’s crucial for you to seek security from within. Feeling at home in your skin and living in the moment are great starting points.

Avoid individuals who offer unrequited love or broken promises. You may have an intuitive sense that you might overlook — trust it. By becoming more aware of your physical and emotional responses to others, you can discern between genuine connections and energy-draining situations. Establishing a practice of quiet reflection and observation can facilitate understanding the root of your heightened emotions.

Cliff Booth

The core message here is to build security within yourself and extend grace and understanding to yourself throughout your journey. It’s perfectly okay to be single right now; you're worthy of attracting a partner who will cherish all of you. To find the love of your life, you must first love yourself — not in a self-centered way, but by honoring your own needs and boundaries. Saying no to situations and people not aligning with your sensitive soul will make you stronger than you realize. The Universe will respond with an endearing relationship by practicing this because you’ve learned to honor yourself.

With Love and Stars,

Lumi

​How Your Rising Sign Cultivates Self-Acceptance and Attracts the Love You Need

Alexander Mass

Like an outfit, your rising sign showcases your personality, identity, and perception of the world. What if I tell you that the rising sign can also attract the love you need in your journey? Think of your rising sign as your energy and how you embody it. It's the mirror we carry, and by our energy, we can keep it clean and pristine or murky and distorted. Sometimes, we cannot stand what we see in ourselves, and that channeled energy emanates outward, creating distortion-filled experiences. When this happens, you lose your 'main character' energy, which results in you leaving your life to chance rather than writing your chapters. When you embody complete self-acceptance and happiness within yourself, these are the key ingredients in powering up your rising sign and your 7th house.

As you begin to feel at peace, love, and harmony to the best of your ability, this will attract what you desire in your life and in love. The world will respond and reflect back all that we project. It’s that simple. Our rising sign is responsible for this active energy, and learning how to master it, will be the key to help you understand the nature of your personality while also attracting your dreams. The ascendant is the portal of your experiences, good and bad. Now that we understand the gist of the rising sign, let's explore your rising sign and how you can tap into your main character energy.

​Love Alchemy: How Your Rising Sign Shapes Relationships

Brit + Co

Aries Rising

Aries Rising radiates a bold, adventurous energy, often attracting equally spirited partners. To attract the love of their life, they should embrace their assertiveness and passion. By channeling the competitive energy of their 7th house (Libra), they can cultivate harmony in relationships without sacrificing their individuality. Self-acceptance means recognizing their fierce independence while being open to collaboration and compromise. The dynamic energy of Mars empowers them to attract a partner who admires their fiery spirit yet values partnership.

Brit + Co

Taurus Rising

Grounded and sensual, Taurus Rising can attract lasting love through their nurturing nature. Their 7th house energy in Scorpio encourages depth and intensity in relationships. To manifest their ideal partner, Taurus Rising must embrace their inner beauty and the pleasure of self-care. By embodying their desire for stability and security, they can project an aura of comfort and reliability, making them irresistible to those seeking genuine connections. Venus, their ruling planet, enhances their allure, helping them draw the right kind of love.

Brit + Co

Gemini Rising

With a quick wit and charm, Gemini Rising attracts partners through intellectual stimulation. Their 7th house in Sagittarius encourages exploration and adventure. To attract their soulmate, they should openly embrace their duality and communicate their needs and desires. Their self-acceptance journey involves acknowledging their inquisitiveness while finding ways to ground themselves in relationships. Mercury, their ruling planet, sharpens their communication skills, enabling them to draw in a partner who shares their passion for life and learning.

Brit + Co

Cancer Rising

Cancer Rising embodies warmth and nurturing energy, making them deeply appealing to potential partners. Their 7th house in Capricorn requires a balance between emotional depth and practical commitment. To attract a lasting love, Cancer Rising should accept their need for security while being open to vulnerability. Utilizing their emotional intelligence to discern their connections creates a safe space for love to flourish. The Moon, their ruling planet, enhances their intuition and empathy, helping them attract a partner who values their nurturing nature and ambition.

Brit + Co

Leo Rising

Confident and charismatic, Leo Rising draws people in with their radiant energy. Their 7th house in Aquarius encourages them to seek uniqueness in relationships. To draw in the love they need, Leo Rising must embody self-love while giving space for individuality. By embracing their creativity and leading with generosity, the Sun, their ruling planet, inspires them to attract a partner who appreciates their vibrant spirit and shares their vision for a progressive, loving partnership.

Brit + Co

Virgo Rising

Practical and detail-oriented, Virgo Rising has a unique charm that attracts partners seeking stability and support. Their 7th house in Pisces invites them to explore relationships' emotional and spiritual aspects. Virgo Rising should love their imperfections and the beauty of vulnerability to attract an epic partnership. By cultivating self-acceptance and finding joy in the little things, Mercury, their ruling planet, helps them draw in a partner who appreciates their grounded nature while encouraging emotional exploration.

Brit + Co

Libra Rising

Charming and harmonious, Libra Rising attracts partners through their innate ability to create beauty and balance. Their 7th house in Aries prompts them to be more assertive in love. Libra Rising must embrace the desire for partnership to attract their ideal partner while also recognizing the importance of self-identity. Being bold in expressing their needs will ignite their main character energy, as Venus, their ruling planet, empowers them to draw in a partner who values connection and independence.

Brit + Co

Scorpio Rising

Intense and magnetic, Scorpio Rising naturally attracts people with their enigmatic presence. Their 7th house in Taurus urges them to seek relationship stability and loyalty. Scorpio Rising should tap into their emotional depth and learn to communicate openly to attract the love they desire. Valuing their worth is vital to mastering their life path. By engaging in self-love and finding a balance between their passionate nature and a desire for security, Pluto and Mars, their ruling planets, will manifest in attracting a partner who appreciates their intensity and commitment.

Brit + Co

Sagittarius Rising

Adventurous and free-spirited, Sagittarius Rising attracts partners through their love of exploration and philosophy. Their 7th house in Gemini encourages communication and curiosity in relationships. To attract their ideal love, Sagittarius Rising has to tap into their quest for knowledge while remaining open to commitment. By cultivating self-worth and expressing their authentic self, Jupiter, their ruling planet, guides them in drawing in a partner who shares their passion for adventure and intellectual pursuits.

Brit + Co

Capricorn Rising

Disciplined and ambitious, Capricorn Rising manifests partnerships through their drive and determination. Their 7th house in Cancer encourages them to explore emotional depth in relationships. To attract lasting love, Capricorn Rising should tap into their nurturing side and allow themselves to be vulnerable. By practicing self-love while balancing their ambitions with emotional availability, Saturn, their ruling planet, aids them in attracting a partner who admires their strength while valuing emotional connection.

Brit + Co

Aquarius Rising

Innovative and independent, Aquarius Rising draws in partners with their unique perspectives and humanitarian spirit. Their 7th house in Leo invites them to ignite creativity and passion in relationships. Aquarius Rising must acknowledge their desire for freedom while recognizing the value of connection to attract the love they desire. By embodying their authentic and unique self, Uranus, their ruling planet, inspires them to draw in a partner who appreciates their individuality and shares their vision for a better world.

Brit + Co

Pisces Rising

Dreamy and compassionate, Pisces Rising attracts partners through their empathetic and intuitive nature. Their 7th house in Virgo encourages them to seek practicality and service in relationships. To attract true love, it's vital for Pisces Rising to embrace their sensitivity while grounding themselves in reality. By practicing self-love and setting healthy boundaries, Neptune and Jupiter, their ruling planets, will manifest a partner who appreciates their depth and aligns with their desire for meaningful connections.

Katerina Holmes

Understanding your rising sign can be a powerful tool for self-discovery and personal growth. Exploring your ascendant's unique traits and energies will help you get to know yourself and all its shades and how you navigate love and relationships. This awareness empowers you to embrace your authentic self and enables you to identify patterns that may hold you back. As you align with your rising sign's essence and ruling planet, you can cultivate more happiness and confidence, opening pathways to attract meaningful connections and experiences that resonate with your true essence. Embracing your rising sign invites you to step into your main character energy, allowing you to write your story with intention and authenticity.

Want to find out how astrology can be the guiding tool to self-acceptance and fulfillment? Click here and claim your copy of Lumi's Beginner's Astrology Book.

For more astrology advice, be sure to Ask Lumi for advice, and follow the conversation on Facebook!

The holidays are here! Well, kind of. Thanksgiving isn’t until November 28 but as far as I’m concerned, November 1 is the day the festivities can begin. I’m pulling out my holiday candles, Christmas PJ’s, and even my How the Grinch Stole Christmas vinyl to make the dreary seasonal blues a little more cheerful. And a huge part of getting into the spirit is stacking up the perfect holiday movie marathon. Thankfully Netflix already has a bunch of holiday titles coming out over the next few weeks. Here are the best (new!!) holiday movies and specials coming to Netflix starting November 1.

Dinner Time Live With David Chang: Holiday Edition — On Netflix Now Until December 10

Adam Rose/Netflix

Nothing says the holidays like tons of delicious meals, and Chef David Chang is cooking some amazing food for his celebrity friends — and he's doing it all live. (Because, a lot of TV cooking uses swaps and stylists to make it look better than it actually is). I'm getting hungry just thinking about it!

Dinner Time Live With David Chang: Holiday Edition is hosted by David Chang.

Meet Me Next Christmas — On Netflix November 6

Sophie Giraud/Netflix

Christmas in New York City is truly a magical experience, and Layla's looking for her own fairytale romance this holiday season. And believe it or not, the ticket to finding her one true love is getting into the Pentatonix Christmas Eve Concert.

Meet Me Next Christmas streams November 6 and stars Christina Milian, Devale Ellis, Kofi Siriboe, Tymika Tafari, Mitch Grassi, Scott Hoying, Kirstin Maldonado, Kevin Olusola, Matt Sallee, Kalen Allen, Nikki Duval, and Wesley French.

Hot Frosty — On Netflix November 13

Petr Maur/Netflix

Nobody puts me in the holiday spirit like seeing Lacey Chabert onscreen, and this year, she's playing Kathy, a widow who happens to bring a handsome snowman to life. (I don't remember this in the "Frosty the Snowman" lyrics!). He helps Kathy reconnect with her emotions as they begin to fall for each other — and as he begins to melt.

Hot Frosty will stream on Netflix beginning November 13 and stars Lacey Chabert, Dustin Milligan, Craig Robinson, Joe Lo Truglio, Katy Mixon, Lauren Holly, and Chrishell Stause.

Netflix Stories: A Virgin River Christmas — On Netflix November 19

Petr Maur/Netflix

It's almost time for Virgin River season 6, which means we're getting closer to the ultimate cozy TV show. I mean, just look at those twinkly lights and pine trees in this preview image! It gives me the same exact feeling as drinking a mug of hot cocoa. This year, we're getting closer to Mel and Jack’s wedding, and confronting some serious secrets and drama along the way. This might not count as a Netflix holiday movie but I couldn't NOT include it!!!

Virgin River season 6 hits Netflix November 19 and stars Alexandra Breckenridge, Martin Henderson, John Allen Nelson, Tim Matheson, Annette O’Toole, Colin Lawrence, Benjamin Hollingsworth, Zibby Allen, Sarah Dugdale, Marco Grazzini, Mark Ghanimé, Kai Bradbury, Kandyse McClure, Jessica Rothe, and Callum Kerr.

The Merry Gentlemen — On Netflix November 20

Katrina Marcinowski/Netflix

Remember that One Tree Hill episode where the Ravens take part in the "Boy Toy" charity auction? Complete with a shirtless fashion show? Consider this the Netflix holiday movie response. When former dancer Ashley learns her parents' performing venue is in danger, she puts together the ultimate Christmas-themed show to raise money. Shirts not included.

The Merry Gentlemen hits Netflix November 20 and stars Britt Robertson, Chad Michael Murray, Marla Sokoloff, Beth Broderick, Michael Gross, Maxwell Caulfield, Hector David Jr., Colt Prattes, and Marc Anthony Samuel

Spellbound — On Netflix November 22

Skydance Animation/Netflix

Okay, this fantasy movie might not technically be a Christmas movie, but it has everything I need in my Netflix holiday movies: family, hope, and love. After her parents are turned into monsters, princess Ellian must go on the ultimate quest to put everything right.

Spellbound hits Netflix November 22 and stars Rachel Zegler, John Lithgow, Jenifer Lewis, Nathan Lane, Tituss Burgess, Javier Bardem, and Nicole Kidman.

Our Little Secret — On Netflix November 27

Bob Mahoney/Netflix

If EXmas taught us anything, it's that spending the holidays with your ex is anything but calm. And in Lindsay Lohan's new movie, she finds herself at the same Christmas celebration as her ex when they realize their new SO's are siblings. No, that's not awkward at all.

Our Little Secret hits Netflix November 27 stars Lindsay Lohan, Ian Harding, Tim Meadows, Jon Rudnitsky, Henry Czerny, Judy Reyes, Chris Parnell, Kristin Chenoweth, Dan Bucatinsky, Katie Baker, Jake Brennan, Ash Santos, and Brian Unger.

Is It Cake? Holidays — On Netflix November 28

Netflix

The only thing more enjoyable than eating delicious food is watching master bakers create beautiful food. This holiday special features edible ice skates, nutcrackers, and reindeer that will change the way you look at baking forever. Watch it in one sitting and it definitely counts as a holiday movie ;).

Is It Cake? Holidays hits Netflix November 28 and stars Jonny Manganello, Andrew Fuller, April Julian, Elizabeth Rowe, Miko Kaw Hok Uy, Danya Smith, Henderson Gonzalez, Grace Pak, and Jujhar Mann, with judges Rachel Bloom, Hannah Berner, Tiffany Haddish, Devon Walker, James Austin Johnson, Chris Witaske, Sasheer Zamata, Terry Crews, Punkie Johnson, and Randall Park.

The Snow Sister — On Netflix November 29

Netflix

Julian's turning 11 on Christmas Eve, and even though it's usually the best day ever, this year is overshadowed by the death of his older sister. A newfound friendship with Hedwig helps him heal, but he can't help but feel like Hedwig's house — and the old man that's always around — are hiding secrets.

The Snow Sister hits Netflix November 29 and stars Mudit Gupta, Celina Meyer Hovland, Ole Steinkjer Øyen, Jan Sælid, Samsaya, Gunnar Eiriksson, and Advika.

Which Netflix holiday movie are you excited to watch? Let us know in the comments!

We live in a "post your relationship so we know it's real" landscape, and I'd be lying if I said it hasn't made me wonder if there's a larger conversation to be had about it. Some people don't feel the need to post their romantic partner while others share their relationships in a way that rivals the best celebrity couples.

Everyone's different, but it's not not unheard of to question your partner's devotion if they're not posting you on Instagram. You may feel justified in your anger because "so and so" are always in cute pictures and videos together on social media — but are your feelings valid? The best person to answer this is licensed therapist Suzette Bray, LMFT. She has over 25 years of specializing in Dialectical Behavior Therapy, and she's seen this topic come up plenty of times during sessions with clients, so grab a pen and paper to take notes!

Why do people want to share their relationship status with others?

Afif Ramdhasuma

My sister used to ask me this question when I was in my 20's, and I always looked at her like she had two heads growing. I couldn't fathom the idea that people wouldn't want to talk about their relationship online because it felt like everyone was doing it. I mean, a study from Pew Research Center shows 8 in 10 people on social media see relationship posts, so it clearly wasn't outrageous to think it was normal.

But, that still doesn't answer why people are drawn to sharing cute little updates about their partner or relationship. Luckily, Bray has a good indication of what drives people to give others a sneak peek into their lives. "People share their relationship status for all kinds of reasons. Some want to mark their territory — nothing says 'back off' quite like a cute couple selfie! Others are just excited and proud of their partner and want to share the joy," she says. That stems from people's "need for a sense of belonging or to receive positive reinforcement from others," she adds.

But, this doesn't necessarily make people weird. It's just human nature that makes us act the way we do. "We as humans are just hard wired to seek connection, and broadcasting our connections, makes us feel more accepted and secure in our social lives."

Should couples have conversations about their social media expectations?

Katrin Bolovtsova

I don't care how hot you think someone is, you're going to have to learn how to communicate with them. It's true even if your chemistry is off-the-charts because healthy relationships don't fall out of the sky. They're built via honesty, respect, forgiveness, and other important factors.

Before assuming your partner is or isn't okay with you posting about your relationship, Bray is 100% convinced you should talk things through. "Social media is still in the wild west of relationship etiquette, and without discussions, assumptions about 'correct' behavior can run wild," she hints. For example, you could be happily posting about your partner only for someone to point out that they're not following you on social media.

"Some people are super private, while others practically live their lives online. Misunderstandings happen when expectations aren't laid out so talking about it can prevent messiness in the long run," Bray observes.

If two people have gone on a couple of dates, should one of them be upset if the other isn't publicly talking about them?

RDNE Stock project

So, you swiped right on Tinder or Bumble, and you had a few amazing dates with one of your matches. Before you start publicly declaring your love for them, Bray wants you to reconsider. "Hold on! It's just a few dates! Let’s pump the brakes. The early stages of dating is not the time to make grand social declarations," she declares. As someone who tried to 'date' people from Tinder, those first few dates aren't a guarantee that you've found the love of your life.

"Posting someone on social media can feel like a big step to some people so expecting that level of public commitment too soon might be too much pressure. If you’re already thinking, 'Why haven’t they posted about me yet?' after two dates, it might be a good time to check in with yourself about where those expectations are coming from," advises Bray.

I've recovered from my former, "Is he the one" obsession so also take it from me — see where things go first and then refer back to question #2!

Is it a red flag if someone doesn't post their partner on social media?

Budgeron Bach

It would be so much fun if we personally had Dustin Poynter, the flag guy, from TikTok helping point us in the right direction — but this is one of those things that errs on the subjective side. Though Bray doesn't feel it's necessarily healthier to keep your relationship private, she thinks "context matters." "Some people are just more private or feel weird about social media in general," she says.

But, that doesn't mean certain behaviors don't warrant a few eyebrow raises. She notes," If someone is super active on social—like posting about their dog’s morning routine and every cupcake they’ve ever had—but doesn't ever mention their partner, it could create a need for a deeper conversation." Before you feel justified about grilling your partner — as satisfactory as that may feel — take a second to breathe.

Bray would prefer you work to understand "why they don't post, rather than assuming your partner is keep you a secret." If you discover the latter to be true, follow your instincts and let that person go because you don't deserve that!

Do you think it's healthier for couples to keep certain aspects of their relationship private?

Fábio Carvalho

Everyone has a different view of what makes a romantic relationship healthy, so this is one of those things Bray says, "absolutely depends on the couple" because some "genuinely enjoy sharing their lives online." You've probably seen your share of couples who make cute content together whether they're married or not. I'd be lying if I said I don't specifically keep up with a few whose content makes me smile.

But, other couples may not be interested in sharing their relationship online because they "want to be private and keep the relationship free from the judgements or opinions of others," according to Bray. That's not to say they have something to hide, though. Instead, think of it as a personal preference.

"As long as both partners are on the same page and it’s not a source of tension, it’s all about finding the balance that works for them. If it starts to feel like a performance for likes rather than genuine connection, though, that’s where it can become problematic," Bray reminds.

How can someone bring up their partner's posting habits without sounding accusatory?

Timur Weber

You may feel eager about posting about your partner while they're less enthusiastic and this could make you feel upset. It's easy to jump to conclusions when you're already upset, but Bray feels "tone is everything." Ironically, she suggests something I've heard in therapy sessions and that's "to be curious, not confrontational." Hopefully this stopped you in your tracks if you were ready to give your partner a piece of your mind.

"You can say something like, 'Hey, I’ve noticed we haven’t shared much about each other on social media? What’s your take on sharing stuff about us online?' It’s important to frame it as a mutual exploration of rather than a demand for a public declaration," Bray points out.

What would you tell someone who wants to emulate couples who consistently post content together?

Vlada Karpovich

We've all seen couples who we think have the cutest relationship, even though we've never met them before. As much as you may admire a couple, Bray thinks it's a "slipper slope" if you want to try to recreate their online moments. "I’d encourage someone to focus more on what makes their own relationship feel fulfilling, rather than chasing #couplesgoals," she encourages.

However, this isn't a sign that you're not supposed to ever share anything about your partner or relationship! "If posting together feels fun and real, go for it! But if it starts feeling like a performance or that you are in competition with other couples, it's probably good to take a step back," she warns.

Also, keep in mind that social media doesn't show you every single moment of couples' lives so don't worry about trying to look picture perfect based on a 30 second to 30 minute video.

If you feel that your partner doesn't post you enough on social media, talk to them before launching into an angsty rant because your assumptions might not always be right. I wish someone would've shared this advice 10 years ago, but all that matters is knowing you don't have to let being upset about your partner's lack of relationship posts be the reason your day is ruined.

The problem arises when your partner doesn't seem receptive to talking about your concerns because dismissive or evasive attitudes are a no-no!

We have more relationship advice if you're looking for more romantic tips and tricks!

This edible crescent-roll cornucopia is our way of making a normal cheese boardmore festive — and definitely more fun — during the holiday season. Our go-to this time of year is a massive cheese plate that can stand alone and be the main attraction, or the starter for a larger meal. Press on for the surprisingly easy steps to braid a breaded cornucopia.

Chris Andre

Materials + Tools:

  • 1 roll of tin foil
  • 2 packages of crescent rolls
  • 1 egg (for egg wash before cornucopia goes into the oven), optional

Chris Andre

Instructions:

Start by sculpting tin foil into the shape of a cornucopia (it looks like a cone with an upturned tail). Pro tip: Lightly pack tin foil so it's easier to remove later from your baked cornucopia. Crescent rolls should be buttery enough that this shouldn't be difficult.

Chris Andre

Your tin foil mold should look a little something like this.

Chris Andre

Pop open the crescent rolls and cut the triangles into strips. Pinch together the ends of strips to make strips longer.

Chris Andre

Braid crescent roll strips. You can make these as fancy as you want. Not a braiding pro? Skip this step and leave those strips alone.

Chris Andre

Wrap tin foil cornucopia with braids/strips. Make sure you cover all the tin foil. Leave a little wiggle room at the opening of the cornucopia, so that when you’re done baking you can pull some of that tin foil out.

Chris Andre

Use any extra dough to cover the bottom of your cornucopia. Pinch the sides and anchor those braids/strips in.

Chris Andre

Brush on egg wash before placing your cornucopia in the oven. Bake at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for 20 minutes. Take out of oven and cover spots of cornucopia that are already golden brown with extra tin foil. Bake for another 20 minutes at 250 degrees Fahrenheit.

Chris Andre

Let it cool down until it’s easy to handle. Remove tin foil.

Chris Andre

Place cornucopia in corner of your cheese plate. Arrange cheese on your serving tray.

Chris Andre

Add crackers — we like to have two or three options.

Chris Andre

Don’t forget to fill up your cornucopia. It's called "the horn of plenty" for a reason. Fill with fresh fruit like grapes, apples, and pears.

Chris Andre

Add nuts like walnuts and pistachios to fill in any empty spaces. Garnish with fresh herbs like rosemary and sage to finish it off.

Chris Andre

Voilà! Invite over your friends, open a bottle of wine, and dig in!

Chris Andre

A cornucopia cheese board will become your new favorite holiday tradition.

Show us your crescent-roll cornucopias on Instagram and check out our baking classes (and our Easy Thanksgiving Desserts piece) for more holiday food inspo!

DIY Production and Styling: Paris Fried

Paris Fried: Paris loves any excuse to celebrate and throw a themed party. She loves experimenting in the kitchen and has a terrible sweet tooth. When she's not crafting in her studio, she's at the farmers' market buying seasonal produce or at her favorite local theater watching double features.

This post has been updated.

Though Black Friday is traditionally the official start of the holiday shopping season, we argue that it’s been kicking since mid-October. We know, we know: it still feels extremely early to start thinking about the holidays, but they’ll be here before you know it! Plus, many brands and retailers are already promoting their holiday goodies with plenty of sales and discounts available right now.

If you’re ready to embark on your holiday shopping journey, but still need answers to questions like ‘when’s the best time to shop?’ and ‘where should I shop for gifts?’ and even ‘how the heck do I save money this season?’, you’ve come to the right place. Consider this your go-to guide for holiday shopping in 2024.

Scroll on for our best guidance on navigating this busy time of year and finding the best gifts possible!

When's the best time to do holiday shopping?

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The best time to do holiday shopping really all depends on your personal shopping goals. Do you want to get a jump on items you know will sell out soon? Do you want to save the most money possible? Do you want to focus on handmade, personalized gifts? These factors will undoubtedly influence your holiday shopping schedule.

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Shopping early can be advantageous for all of the aforementioned goals. A lot of retailers start promoting their holiday products early on, giving you ample time to snatch up that limited-time lip kit or fancy water bottle you’ve been eyeing way before the holidays.

Plus, some of the best deals for holiday shopping happen ahead of Black Friday and Cyber Monday – in 2023, Experian observed a surge in early spending in October, thanks to early discounts, a trend likely to continue in 2024.

Finally, shopping early can be especially helpful if your plan is to focus on handmade or personalized gifts, giving the artisan you buy from (or yourself, if you’re DIY-ing your gifts) plenty of time to craft the item with love and care.

Gallup reported in 2023 that one in four shoppers start shopping as early as September, a trend likely to continue in 2024 – so you might already be embarking on your shopping spree!

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If right now is just still too darn early for you to start holiday shopping, Black Friday and Cyber Monday are some of the best times to shop since so many retailers offer their largest discounts of the entire year. Plus, the late November-early December timeline can feel a bit more appropriate for the gifting season opposed to late October-early November, when everyone’s still recovering from Halloween.

The only thing to consider during this time is the shipping timelines for the items you purchase – but most retailers will typically advise their specific shipping schedules, so you don’t risk your goodies arriving late.

Where should I shop for gifts?

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You have three main options when it comes to where to shop for holiday gifts: online, in-store, and via our amazing gift guides. Of course, each method has its advantages and disadvantages.

Shopping in-store offers a tangible experience: the opportunity to hold specific items in your hands and gauge exactly what they’ll be like when you give them as a gift. The pitfall with shopping in-person is that it typically requires a commute and journeys through potentially very busy malls and shopping strips, which can add to the already-stressful holiday experience.

In-store shopping can be more physically exhausting, but it’s all about preference! Sometimes strolling through the stores that get all dolled up for Christmas is the best part of the season.

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Per Google, 65% of those planning to shop for the holidays say they will shop online more. Shopping for gifts online can be super helpful since you can centralize your findings in your browser’s bookmark tab or via virtual cart(s). Plus, shopping online can pose more opportunities for saving some money: lots of retailers typically offer discount codes for online users, especially if you sign up for their digital marketing channels (like email and text) and make a purchase.

Shopping online isn’t just shopping, either. The internet can be a stellar research tool to help you vet whether certain products are worth it, where they can be bought, and when they’ll be available. In fact, Google reported that more than half of U.S. holiday shoppers who went into a store last year say they looked up product reviews online and/or located an item in-store by checking it online.

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Last but not least, scrolling gift guides has to be our favorite place to shop for gifts – and not just because we write and publish them.

At their very core, gift guides help streamline the holiday shopping process, alleviating the stress that bubbles up when you’re wondering what the heck to shop for in the first place. Our gift guides are backed by real people, real experiences, and real opinions from our editorial team. We only promote products that we really love and believe in, oftentimes ones we’ve tested and reviewed ourselves.

We have gift guides for just about everyone on your list, with more on the way! Check ‘em out:

What are the best kinds of gifts to give?

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The best kinds of gifts to give are thoughtful gifts that consider the giftee’s interests, wants, and needs. These gifts can be sentimental, practical, or both simultaneously. What matters most in a gift is that it’ll be meaningful to them past just the holiday season, whether it’s helping them get through daily tasks, reminding them of a memorable trip or event, or giving them small doses of joy.

“Shoppers are increasingly looking for personalized and unique gifts that reflect the recipient's personality and interests,” says Mia Anderson, Owner of ChicSew. “With the rise of online shopping, many consumers are opting for curated gift boxes or experiences that add a special touch.”

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Gift boxes, personalized items, books of interest, self-care goodies, and even gift cards can all be thoughtful gifts depending on the recipient. If you have no clue what your giftee is into, it’s not a bad idea to ask them what they want the most!

“My idea of a great gift is something that is in tandem with the recipient's interest and offers something new to the person, be it learning a new skill, enjoying a calming activity, or simply spending quality time with the family,” says Alfred Christ, Sales Manager & Marketer at Robotime. “This season, we encourage shoppers to shift their focus on quality and the memories their gifts will create and not just merely material aspects.”

When is Black Friday?

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Black Friday is always the Friday after Thanksgiving. This year, Black Friday lands on November 29.

When is Cyber Monday?

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Cyber Monday is typcally the Monday after Thanksgiving. This year, Cyber Monday will land on December 2. Oftentimes, retailers and brands extend their online offers through the week (coined Cyber Week) after the event. Salesforce reported that 67% of shoppers in 2024 plan on shopping during Cyber Week!

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