I Tried This Weird App to Feel More Zen + This Is What Happened

We’ve all seen meditation apps that promise everything from improved sleeping habits to stress relief. I’m setting out to see how they deliver, and after tackling the Calm app, I’m ready to try a new one. This past week, I used the Stop, Breathe & Think app every evening after work and before dinner, sitting on my couch in the living room with candles lit and — full disclosure — a glass of wine poured. Scroll on to get the 411 on what Breathe is actually like.

To start, Breathe has a clean, minimalist interface that’s incredibly intuitive and user-friendly. There aren’t too many options, and the options they do offer are straightforward and common sense. I appreciate this simplicity while I’m trying to get my zen on.

I looked through the “Learn How to Meditate” section, which tells you how to practice mindfulness, what meditation can do for you mentally, how meditation works physically and what you can expect as you learn how to meditate. It’s a comprehensive guide that lays out the basics in easy-to-understand language. As for the targeted mediation choices themselves, there are many, and they are wildly varied. You can go with a traditional body scan or try something more cosmic like the Commonality of Suffering.

From The Commonality of Suffering meditation, Breathe tells you, “think of how sensitive and fragile you feel [when you are suffering]… remember that other people experience [these feelings] too. Suffering is experienced by everyone. If we are able to recognize the commonality of suffering, we can recognize a genuine empathy and connection with other people.” Are you already feeling more grounded?

While you can choose whichever targeted meditation you’d like, I always go for the “How Are You?” option, where you choose the top five emotions you’re currently experiencing (from joyful and fulfilled to disgusted and powerless). Then the app suggests three meditations that would be particularly beneficial to your current emotional state. Not only does the customization make me feel like the meditation is really going to work for me in particular right now, but it also forces me to check in with myself mentally and examine how my day made me feel.

I also like that the in-app purchases are a one-time, a la carte fee, rather than a general monthly subscription rate. After using this for a week, I would say Breathe is like the app version of your high school best friend’s mom — the one who always had incense burning, drank oolong tea, had a peace frog sticker on the back of her Subaru Outback and said things like “whatever will be, will be.” It’s all good vibes, positive energy and peaceful auras, making it a seriously awesome meditation app. I’ve tried quite a few and I have to say, this one may be my favorite of all.

DL: Free on iOS and Android

Do you have a positive way of coping with anxiety or stress? We’d love to hear about it! Tweet us @BritandCo and let us know what helps relax you.

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There’s absolutely nothing wrong with taking a sick day when you need it, but it’s totally normal to want to get back on your feet ASAP. You’re busy, after all! You’ve probably tried eating chicken noodle soupand drinking plenty of green juiceto make you feel better, but these 25 sick day recipes offer a little extra, with seasonal veggies, turmeric and other spices, plus cover everything from homemade cough drops to ice pops to hot toddies. They'll have you feeling like yourself in no time, so grab some tissues and a humidifier, curl up with your favoritecomfort show or fallbook, and focus on getting and feeling better.

Immune Boosting Winter Citrus Smoothie

Crush your cold with all the colorful in-season produce like blood oranges, beets, pomegranates, and rainbow chard spiced with ginger, turmeric, and cayenne. (via Half Baked Harvest)

Creamy Yogurt Popsicles with Berries

Nurse your sore throat with these healthy popsicles made with fresh berries and just five ingredients! (via The Real Food Dietitians)

15-Minute Asian Cold Remedy Soup

Maybe this soup’s claim has something to do with the hefty dose of fresh ginger in each bite.(via Fork in the Kitchen)

Cold-Soothing Chai Hot Toddy

Your grandma wasn’t lying when she said that a hot toddy is the best cold medicine. This chai-spiced version adds even more warmth to the drink and will lull you into a peaceful night of sleep. (via Baking Mischief)

Honey Chamomile Popsicles

Honey and chamomile are two soothing ingredients for a sore throat or upset tummy. Keep them stored in the freezer, and you and your kids will be more than happy to snack on them while sick. (via Vanilla and Bean)

Immune Boosting Garden Herb Stock

Once you get over your illness, you need to do everything you can to keep your immune system up. This nutritious stock is full of vitamins and minerals that you can drink straight or add to just about any dish you like. (viaOm Nom Ally)

Easy 30-Minute Homemade Chicken Noodle Soup

You’ve got to have a solid chicken noodle soup recipe, no matter who you’re trying to nurse back to health. This one has plenty of protein, veggies, and comforting egg noodles to get your stomach settled. (viaAverie Cooks)

Golden Milk

Delicious both hot or cold, this anti-inflammatory drink made with coconut milk, dates, turmeric, and cinnamon is full of medicinal properties that will leave you feeling great in no time. Plus, it's gluten and dairy-free, vegan, and super easy to make! (via Clean Cuisine)

Rosehip Tea

Ripe in late fall, rosehips are high in vitamin C and can help strengthen your immune system. This tea, made with these fruits of rose plants, has an amazing effect on your body, before and after your sick day. (via Give Recipe)

feelgoodfoodie.net

Chicken Lemon Rice Soup

If you're not a fan of noodles or just not in the mood for them, opt for a chicken and rice soup instead. (via Feel Good Foodie)

Turmeric Ginger Chickpea Noodle Soup

Thisimmune-boosting chickpea noodle soup is full of veggies with a flavorful ginger turmeric broth, plus it's ready in about 30 minutes! (via Crowded Kitchen)

All-Natural DIY Pineapple Cough Syrup

No more cough syrup at home? Go for this all-natural alternative. The combination of pineapple, cayenne, lemon, ginger, and honey is more than effective at keeping your coughs at bay. (via The View from Great Island)

Gingery Poached Egg Soup

Sometimes it’s hard to even eat chicken noodle soup when you’re feeling under the weather. This light version will be ready for you to sip in 15 minutes, and it won’t weigh too heavily on your stomach. (via The Kitchn)

Healing Turmeric Cauliflower Soup

The anti-inflammatory properties of turmeric are just one of the reasons this soup is perfect for healing your sick body. If you’re having any trouble swallowing, the smooth texture will be easy for you to get down and digest. (via Simply Quinoa)

Healing Bowls With Turmeric Sweet Potatoes, Poached Eggs, and

Lemon Dressing

When you’re able to eat a little bit more, a big bowl of nourishing ingredients is what you need. This sweet potato and brown rice bowl is full of greens, poached egg, and a lemony dressing to help you feel like a million bucks. (via Pinch of Yum)

Immunity Shots

You could go to a fancy juice bar to get an immune-boosting shot or you could make one at home for a fraction of the cost, and you won’t have to get out of your pajamas. Use your blender or juicer to combine carrot, ginger, lemon, and garlic together into a cold-blooded flu killer. (via With Food and Love)

Cold Buster Citrus Smoothie

If your immune system does give into the office cold, this vitamin C-packed drink will help you recover at lightning speed. (via Seasonal Cravings)

Moon Milk

Getting a good night’s sleep is one of the hardest things to do while you’re sick. This antioxidant-rich warm moon milk recipe features nutmeg and ashwagandha, both of which are known for lulling you into a restful slumber. (via Bon Appetit)

Super Immunity Power Salad

Move over, spinach. This kale salad is here to take the spot as the most nutritious and delicious way to eat your greens. (via The Garden Grazer)

Triple Berry Kiwi Smoothie

Who needs a multivitamin when you could just drink this smoothie every day? One kiwi has over 100 percent of your daily requirement of vitamin C, so you know that you’ll stay healthy through flu season with this as your breakfast. (via The Pretty Bee)

veggiesociety.com

Vegan Vegetable Noodle Soup Recipe

Even without the chicken, noodle soup is good for the soul. (via Veggie Society)

Homemade Hot Apple Cider Recipe

pinkowlkitchen.com

Homemade Hot Apple Cider Recipe

Homemade Hot Apple Cider Recipe

Sometimes all you need is a hot, seasonal drink to get you back on your feet. (via Pink Owl Kitchen)

www.averiecooks.com

CREAMY SWEET POTATO CHICKEN SOUP

Sweet potatoes are a great source of vitamin A which! Is great for fighting off illnesses.(via Averie Cooks)

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SPICY SOFT TOFU SOUP

Sometimes all you need is a little spice to clear up a stuffy nose! (Takes Two Eggs)

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Easy Homemade Sore Throat Gummies

These lemon, ginger, and honey gummies are better than any lozenge than you can get at the store. The natural ingredients will coat your throat and ease any annoying tickles or cough that you may have. (via Hello Creative Family)

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For your friend who just can’t resist making a charcuterie board for every occasion to your cooking-crazy uncle, we’ve got the coolest edible gifts for 2024 right here. Gift something deliciously unforgettable – from decadent chocolate truffles to zesty spice mixes, these edible gifts bring joy to every bite. Edible gifts are also perfect for those who host you during the holidays and even coworkers! Get ready to spread some cheer with these edible gifts.

The 24 best edible gifts of 2024:

Below, find our top favorite edible gifts for everyone on your list!

Amazon

Graza Olive Oil Variety Pack

Any foodie will instantly recognize Graza's iconic squeezable olive oil bottles. This variety pack includes both their "Drizzle" and "Sizzle" oils that work wonderfully for a wide range of recipes.

Amazon

Coop's Original Hot Fudge

This hot fudge is crafted from super wholesome ingredients: pure chocolate, fresh cream, organic sugar cane, natural cocoa powder, and a touch of sea salt all come together for a heavenly (and very chocolatey) experience. Glob it on top of some ice cream to achieve pure dessert-y bliss.

Amazon

Tate's Bake Shop Chocolate Chip Cookies

These cookies may be light and crispy, but they're decadent as ever. Snag this 4-pack of bags (with 14 cookies each) to totally nail any sweet tooth's gift this year!

Flamingo Estate

Flamingo Estate Spicy Extra Virgin Olive Oil

This luxurious olive oil is infused with Guajillo chiles that bring an undeniable kick to whatever you cook with it.

Amazon

Hickory Farms Farmhouse Sausage & Cheese Food Gift Basket

Because who doesn't love snacking on meat and cheese? This loaded gift basket will keep them munching and satisfied during the in-between moments around the holidays.

Compartés

Compartés Boozy Chocolate Gift Box

This gift box's boozy chocolate flavors range from espresso martini to strawberry champagne. Gift them the entire box or split it up amongst friends for a fun (and alcoholic) stocking stuffer moment!

Fly By Jing

Fly By Jing Sichuan Starter Gift Set

This gift set from Fly By Jing includes four different chili crisps and sauces so your giftee can instantly spice up their dishes. We love using the OG Sichuan Chili Crisp on eggs, noodles, chicken, and more.

Kola Goodies

Kola Goodies Lilly's Maple Chai Box

This adorable book-shaped gift box is packed with a delicious maple chai drink mix for the perfect cozy beverage, which is simply a necessity around the holidays (and wintertime as a whole).

Fishwife

Fishwife The Starter Pack

Fishwife's variety of tinned fish can be used across a wide range of different dishes like sandwiches, wraps, salads, pastas, and more. Gift them this set of 7 tins so they can test out different recipes and find their absolute fave!

Uncommon Goods

Custom Message Shortbread Cookies

Let these sweet treats deliver your holiday wishes for you! You're able to customize the text on each piece of shortbread to bring even more cheer.

Subscribe to our newsletter for even more gift ideas!

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

Even if you weren’t exactly in line for the Olympic gymnastics team as a kid (another reason Simone Biles is so impressive, honestly), chances are, you look back on those days as ones of your peak flexibility. Like running, remembering things, and making new friends, bending gradually gets harder as you age. Fortunately, there are some things you can do to keep your flex! Here’s why you lose your bendiness — and how to get it back.


Why Your Flexibility Stalls

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As though going through puberty weren’t enough of a struggle, it’s also the time when you start to lose your natural flexibility. “No one is more flexible in their life than they are as a child,” says Dr. Leython Williams, a doctor of physical therapy at Athletico Physical Therapy. “However, during puberty, children often become temporarily less flexible. Some children have slow growth spurts, while others grow very quickly. This temporary decrease in muscle length/flexibility is a result of their bones growing faster than their muscles and tendons can stretch.”

Note that Dr. Williams refers to this particular loss of flexibility as temporary — meaning we can’t blame puberty for the fact our toes seem to be getting farther away every time we try to touch them.

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“There is no specific age when we wake up and our flexibility has ‘officially declined.’ However, it is a fact that as we age our flexibility decreases, which leads to decreased functional ability and mobility,” he explains. “As our bodies get older, we lose a small amount of flexibility as a result of the normal aging processes. There is loss of water in our tissues and intervertebral discs, increased stiffness in our joints, and a loss of elasticity in muscles and tendons. In our 20s and 30s, it is important that we develop a consistent static and dynamic stretching regimen to establish and maintain flexibility and range of motion more easily into our older years.”

That’s right: What you do now matters later. And this isn’t just about keeping up in yoga, Dr. Williams cautions. “It becomes imperative that we stretch regularly to decrease our likelihood of various injuries.” Jill Belland, co-founder of Barre Belle, agrees. “It’s easy to feel invincible if you’re young and injury free! Flexibility will reduce your risk of injury: What doesn’t bend will break. Increased range of motion, balance, and mobility are all linked to flexibility and contribute to overall strength and fitness.”

How to Get It Back

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When you’re a kid, flexibility comes naturally; when you’re an adult, you have to take responsibility for improving and maintaining it. “Peak flexibility age for adults can differ person to person and depends largely on their physical activity habits,” says Dr. Rachelle Reed, PhD, Pure Barre’s manager of training development and barre kinesiologist. “Notably, flexibility can be improved at any age when flexibility training is incorporated into a regular exercise routine. It’s important for adults to be strategic about including flexibility training into their workouts, because maintaining flexibility and physical function as we move into middle and older adulthood is associated with better quality of life and independent living.”

There’s no one flexibility standard everyone has to meet, Belland reassures: “There is no golden rule for what perfect flexibility is person to person, but there are simple markers such as touching your toes from a forward fold for hamstrings/lower back, or reaching for your hands behind your back, with one hand behind the head and the other behind the waist, for shoulder mobility. You don’t need to be a contortionist; moving around with fluidity in your everyday life and having good range of motion in your favorite activities without feeling pain or tension is a better way to gauge your own personal goals.”

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But where do you start if you want to improve your flexibility? Dr. Reed explains, “There are two main types of flexibility training that you should aim to incorporate into your routine: Dynamic stretching, where a stretch is performed by moving through a challenging but attainable range of motion several times in a row, and static stretching, where a stretch is held in a challenging but attainable position for a longer period of time (at least 10-30 seconds).”

How do you know how far to go? “Our muscles have a natural stretch reflex that prevents us from going too far into a stretch, which can also cause injury,” Belland tells us. “Aim to gently stretch through this reflex. The key to increasing flexibility is about time under tension: It takes around 20 seconds to ease through the stretch reflex. Reintroduce the stretch and hold it for 10 seconds longer, working up to one minute. The second time you introduce a stretch, the stretch reflex will diminish, allowing your body to get deeper into your stretch and also building better muscle memory.”

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If you’re still worried about injuring yourself — especially if you’ve been injured in the past — Dr. Williams recommends seeing a physical therapist for guided stretches. Belland reminds us that you don’t have to go to the gym or spend hours on stretching. “Stretch a little bit every day when you can fit it in after a workout or in front of the TV. If you just don’t think you’ll stretch on your own, getting to a yoga or a barre class is helpful if you need the accountability of a dedicated time and space.”

Speaking of the gym, just as your phys ed teacher told you, stretching is especially important before and after a workout. “Far too often active individuals begin their workouts without a dynamic stretch,” Dr. Williams says. “Dynamic stretching increases one’s range of movement and blood flow to soft tissues prior to physical exertion and/or sport performance. This type of stretching is vital in improving performance and reducing the risk for injury.”

But you don’t have to be an athlete to benefit — in fact, stretching is an important antidote to all that sitting those of us with desk-based jobs tend to do. “Sitting at your desk all day can lead to decreased flexibility in hip flexors and hamstrings by keeping them in a shortened position for a prolonged period of time,” Dr. Williams warns. “Consider a standing desk or work station or taking several breaks throughout your work day to stand up and stretch.”

Instead of looking back on your kid-level flexibility as a long-ago dream, mix in a little bit of stretching into your new daily routine — especially if you work at a desk! You might never get your legs behind your head, but your older self will thank you for it. Check out The Best Time to Stretch During Your Workout for more!

Lead image via Brit + Co.

This post has been updated.

If you're finding it hard to make friends as an adult, or maintain friendships from different life stages, you're definitely not alone. According to Dr. Deborah Gilboa, MD, Scientific Advisor for Azar, and a recent study from Azar and Talker, it's not abnormal to feel heightened levels of loneliness. In fact, that study suggests Gen Z feels lonely every day.

"Loneliness feels isolating because it goes beyond just lacking company; it’s a lack of meaningful connection," she says over email. "Social contact without meaning can worsen loneliness as it increases the individual’s perception of isolation and lack of belonging. The antidote is true social connection."

But how can we find that real social connection and community? I talked to Dr. Gilboa, JustAnswer Mental Health Expert Jennifer Kelman, and NYC Psychologist Dr. Alexandra Stratyner PhD, for some insight into behaviors that attract friends. Here are some behaviors that will simply make you irresistible — and will help you identify good friends in others!

Keep reading for some advice on how to attract friends — and easy ways to be a better friend to the people you love.

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There's no shame in realizing you're feeling lonely, but it's also important to identify when that loneliness morphs into isolation. "Even though many might be experiencing the same feelings, that doesn't mean they are reaching out for support," Kelman says. "Many are not feeling enough strength to reach out to others or feel like they are being a burden so they reason alone with their feelings."

"It's also become more evident as our reliance on digital communication has grown, sometimes leaving us more connected online but feeling less understood and less connected in more meaningful, in-person ways," Dr. Stratyner adds. And then there's the social expectation of it all. "Many people tend to hide their loneliness because they feel shame or embarrassment about it. This can make it even harder to open up and connect with others who might be feeling the same way. The more we keep these feelings to ourselves, the more it reinforces the isolation, even though we all experience it in varying forms."

"It is hard to see light when things feel dark, and many go inward to deal with their feelings," Kelman points out. "Many are so burdened by their feelings that they might not feel capable to care for those around them or to show up and be present for others."

And just like Dr. Gilboa says, we're looking for true connection, not just surface-level friendships. But how can we make true social connection? Here's what they suggest.

1. A good friend shows care and empathy for the people around them.

If you care for the people around you, there's a very good chance others will want to be your friend. "People that show empathy toward others are very attractive qualities as it shows that one has the capacity to care for others and be present for them," Kelman says. "Those that are gregarious and selfless can be quite appealing as well. Those that are self-involved tend to repel others rather than attract."

Focusing on others instead of yourself can be easier said than done, but the it's definitely worth it. "People are drawn to those who show genuine care and understanding," Dr. Stratyner agrees.

​2. A good friend is reliable and trustworthy.

Our inner circle is going to be made up of people who know us inside and out, but it's unlikely someone will reach that level of emotional intimacy unless you really trust them. "In friendship people rate reliability, honesty and trustworthiness more highly [than romantic relationships]," Dr. Gilboa says.

​3. People are attracted to humor.

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I'm sure we can all think of someone who never fails to make us laugh. And being the funny friend can mean a lot of things: you know how to poke fun at yourself or you don't take things too seriously (unless they need to be taken seriously, of course). But that doesn't mean making other people the butt of mean jokes.

"A good sense of humor helps foster a positive, lighthearted atmosphere, making interactions feel enjoyable and memorable," Stratyner says. "Plus, everyone loves to laugh."

​4. You need to be a good listener.

No one wants to be talked at and never listened to. After all, we do have two ears and one mouth! But simply nodding your head and zoning out won't cut it. "People appreciate feeling truly heard," Dr. Stratyner says. "This demonstrates respect, interest, and a willingness to connect on a deeper level."

"Be a great listener without asserting your own views or agenda," Kelman adds. "Be available, vulnerable and present. Ask those around you how they are and truly listen to how they feel. Be open and direct and most of all, be a constant. Nothing better than knowing that you will be there for all things."

So engage with what your friends are saying and, even better, remember it later!

5. A good friend is generous.

Is there a better time to talk about generosity than Thanksgiving? Be generous with your time, resources, and your heart — but don't worry, that doesn't mean you have to let someone else steam roll you. After all, a good friend also won't take advantage of you!

"Giving to others and the community are wonderful traits and habits that are very attractive to others and may draw people in," Kelman says. "People want to be around people that give and are easy-going in their interactions with individuals and the world around them."

​6. New friends are attracted to positivity.

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When things feel dark, new friends will be attracted to someone who can make the world feel a little lighter. "People are often attracted to those who can find the silver lining, stay hopeful, and spread good vibes, especially in challenging situations," Dr. Stratyner says.

That's not to say you can never have bad days or process things like disappointment and grief. It just means you aren't ruled by them. (Listen, as an Enneagram 4, I'm talking to myself!)

Ok, you might be thinking, this is great but what do I do with this information? Here are some easy, actionable steps to take if you want to make new friends.

1. Understand why you're feeling lonely will help you address the real problem.

"First is to get an understanding of the loneliness and where it is coming from...finding community too soon may cause an increase in loneliness even while being surrounded by others," Kelman recommends.

You can't reach a solution if you don't know what the real problem is. I realized since I work from home, I need to do better about leaving the apartment, and my favorite way to spend an afternoon is coworking with a friend at a coffee shop.

​2. Finding new hobbies will connect you with similar people.

I met some of my best friends through a big movie group, which means when I have a meme or a piece of news to fangirl over, I know exactly who to contact. "Find activities that ignite you, find like minded individuals with whom to connect," Kelman adds. "Join a book club, pick up a new sport or hobby, but again, trying to immerse yourself too soon may not have any impact on the lonely feelings."

"The antidote to loneliness is social connection — true connection that paves the way for belonging," Dr. Gilboah says. "Talking to people to learn what interests and values are shared will open the door for the types of relationships that become community."

​3. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there.

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Listen. If you only ever order takeout and watch Netflix, you'll simply never make new connections. You gotta get after it! "Look for community events, clubs, or hobby groups that align with your interests, whether book clubs, sports leagues, or volunteering opportunities," Dr. Stratyner says. "Being around people with shared passions makes it easier to start conversations and find common ground."

​4. And don't be afraid to reach out first.

For some reason, we've decided that reaching out first (or double texting) means we're needy and insufferable. This is simply not the case because who doesn't want to know they were thought of!! Plus, there's a good chance that if you're overthinking every little detail, other people are too.

"Reach out, even in small ways, to those around us who may be feeling the same," says Dr. Gilboah. "Loneliness often leads to rumination - the act of dwelling on or spiraling downward through negative thoughts. Ruminating can cause further isolation and distracts us from the people and stimuli around us."

​5. Be present when you're finally with people.

When you do make special connections, it's super important to make sure you're offering your full attention. "Showing up emotionally and physically makes them feel valued and heard, strengthening your bond," Dr. Stratyner says. She also recommends checking in to remind them you're there, and genuinely celebrating their wins (which, separately, is definitely a sign of being a girls' girl). "If a friend is going through a tough time, offer to help in any way you can," she adds. "Sometimes, simply acknowledging their struggle and offering your time can make all the difference."

"The best news about friendship is that Gen Z values authenticity above just about any other factor in friendship," Dr. Gilboah says. "Gathering the courage to be your true self and [mixing] that with empathetic listening will make you a sought after friend."

What's your favorite way to get to know new friends? Here are 10 Thought-Provoking Questions To Know Close Friends More Intimately!

With the holidays now approaching almost eerily quickly, you might already be feeling slightly uneasy about the family stresses that are bound to be on your plate (along with delicious Christmas cookies, of course). Spending a lot of time face-to-face with family can dig up old arguments or squabbles that everyone may have forgotten during the rest of the year.

Learn the 8 best ways to support your friend while they're in the middle of family drama

You’re not the only one dealing with the drama, though, and while your own family issues might feel somewhat out of your control, there might be more you can do to take the edge off the stress that your friends are feeling in anticipation of holiday gatherings. Keep scrolling for eight expert tips for how to best offer support to your most stress-ridden BFFs.

1. Listen without judging if your friend reveals an ongoing argument about a family will

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Being a good listener is one of the most basic — and yet most important — things you can do as a friend 365 days of the year, but when tensions run high near the holidays, those listening skills become all the more crucial. You might even consider resisting the urge to speak, like, at all. “Be a good listener and don’t give advice,” licensed marriage and family therapist Katie Ziskind says. “Supporting someone doesn’t mean that you have to fix their problem. Instead, truly being supportive means giving a hug when someone is crying and being a caring friend.”

2. Prep your pal to expect drama if your uncle's invited his new girlfriend and ex to dinner

Rather than reassuring your friend that things at family celebrations may not be as bad as they fear, trust what they know about the situation and help them wrap their head around what’s to come. This should minimize the stress for them in the long run. “If you expect it and it happens, situation normal,” certified life coach Susan Golicic tells us. “If you expect it and it doesn’t, well, then, a bonus!”

3. Help your bestie make a plan in case their fight-or-flight mode gets triggered

Going into any situation with a plan almost always feels better than going in unprepared. Per writer, speaker, and healing expert Alisa Zipursky, a helpful plan might include specific check-in times, a code word that indicates your friend needs extra support, and ideas for creating healthy boundaries with family members who make them feel especially triggered. “The idea is to make asking for help as easy as possible,” Zipursky says. “Making sure a proactive plan is in place well before someone enters the stressful situation can help relieve some of the anticipatory anxiety.”

4. Check in often by sending your friend periodic texts 

Licensed counselor Maria Inoa recommends that you prioritize regular touch-base texts over the course of whatever event is causing your friend the most stress. It’s not about solving the conflicts or taking away their pain. Instead, you can focus on offering gentle reminders that you are thinking of them and are available if they need you.

5. Create a new tradition that revolves around you and and your bestie's favorite Christmas movies

If your friend’s family holiday celebrations don’t exactly inspire positive feelings about the occasion, why not help them establish some better associations? Licensed clinical professional counselor Anna Poss suggests planning a “low-stress, fun way to celebrate with each other before or after the actual holiday.” Get a seasonal movie night or cookie swap on the calendar before everyone leaves town to hang with family. Those cozy vibes may help dull the negative, anxious feelings.

6. Write down words of affirmations for them to look at

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Grab some pretty stationery and put your love and support on paper for your BFF. “In the note, remind her how strong, courageous, and capable she is,” licensed psychotherapist and life coach Diane Petrella says. “Let her know how much you love and admire her and how grateful you are for her friendship. Write whatever you think your friend needs to hear to feel supported, grounded, and loved.” Remind her to hide the note in her pocket or bag so she can read it whenever she needs a little extra TLC over the course of the holidays. You can even go one step further and send them home with a care package, per therapistShannon Thomas.

7. Invite your friend to your family celebration

If things have gotten so bad with your bestie’s family that she wants to steer clear of their celebrations entirely, you may want to invite her to join you and your crew instead. Even if she opts to decline your invitation, it will mean a lot to her to know that she has choices. If your friend does take you up on the offer, Mountainside Treatment Center‘s family wellness manager Tina Muller recommends that you try to incorporate some of her favorite traditions into your holiday schedule.

8. Keep your phone nearby if your friend needs to talk about everything that happened

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“Before an event with possible family issues even happens, schedule a time not long after to see the friend,” marriage and family therapist Sarah Epstein suggests. “Now you’ve become the light at the end of the tunnel for them.” Be prepared to be a listening ear over dinner or a workout session so your pal can vent about everything that’s gone on and (hopefully) be ready to move on from there.

How do you and your pals support each other through the not-so-fun parts of the holidays? Tweet us @BritandCo.

(Photo via Getty)