Study Shows Women Are Still Judged for Not Taking Their Husband’s Name

Once you’ve popped the engagement Champagne and posted your new bling to Instagram, brides-to-be know that what follows is an onslaught of well-meaning, but pretty darn nosy questions. Whether you’re debating the perfect wedding colors or if you should take your fiance’s last name, you’ll soon find out that everyone and their mother has an opinion. Now science is joining the conversation too.

New research in the academic journal Gender Issues delves deep into what people *really* think about women who have and have not changed their names. According to Portland State University researcher Emily Fitzgibbons Shafer, a woman’s choice to change — or keep — her name doesn’t affect the opinions of women and highly educated men in the US. But when it comes to American men with lower education levels, it’s a whole other story.

Shafer’s research suggests that men of lower education levels view women who don’t change their names as “less committed wives” than women who dochange their last name, or even women with hyphenated last names. Asked about a made-up scenario where a husband pitches in more with housework in order to support his wife, who’s working late at the office to get a promotion, less educated men were harder on non-name-changing women than women who changed their last name, even saying the husbands in the scenario were more justified in divorcing them (insert *huge* groan). Shafer used 2010 survey data from 1,253 US residents, though it’s important to note that 73 percent of the survey participants were white.

Shafer says her research was inspired by the contentious debate in the 1980s over Hillary Rodham’s decision to change her name to Hillary Rodham Clinton. While it’s hard to believe now, back then many political pundits blamed Bill Clinton’s early gubernatorial loss on Hillary’s initial refusal to change her last name. Shafer’s research demonstrates that we still have a long way to go before men and women are judged equally, and that even the most trivial of things can affect a woman’s chance for success. We weren’t short on proof that feminism matters, but we’ll take it anyway.

Do you plan to change your name after you get married? Did changing your name have a major effect on your life? Tweet us @BritandCo and let us know!

(Photos via Getty)

By now, you may be able to recognize signs of gaslighting or other toxicbehaviors, but do you know how to take everything you've learned and become a super compatible couple? According to experts, there are a few key things super compatible couples rarely argue about — even with whatever faults each person brings to the relationship table. While the topics these couples avoid may not surprise you, the reason why they're able to avoid them might. But first, let's talk about what makes couples more compatible than others.

Dr. Brooke Keels, Ph.D., LPC-MHSP, LPC-Supervisor, Chief Clinical Officer at Lighthouse Recovery, has this to say: "Couples are compatible when they share similar values, goals, and know the best way to communicate with each other." Notice she didn't say these couples are just alike.

More so, she explains that "it's about how well they handle differences, whether they can support each other through tough times, and how they connect emotionally." Dr. Keels adds, "when there’s respect, trust, and a good balance of give-and-take between them?" Dr. Keels believes this gives couples a better chance "to be in sync."

Scroll down to see the topics you'll rarely hear compatible couples arguing about!

RDNE Stock project

1. Long-term goals like marriage aren't often a cause for concern.

Have you ever dated someone that made you wonder what you saw in them once you pay attention to certain red flags? You may have found yourself arguing with them about everything from religion to reproductive health, leaving you feeling dizzy afterwards. But Dr. Keels says compatible couples are more likely to be aligned on "whether they want the same things out of life."

Her examples include:

  • Relocating for careers
  • Family planning
  • Finding somewhere to settle down in general (i.e. apartment, condo, different state, close to family, etc.,)

"This common ground lessens the chance of fighting over these big topics," Dr. Keels reiterates.

Vlada Karpovich

2. There's a lesser chance arguments about weekend activities occur.

We're no strangers to indecisive moments where we couldn't agree about what to do on the weekends with our partners, but Dr. Keels says compatible couples don't always run into this issue. "When you enjoy similar activities or have overlapping hobbies, you're more like to find ways to unwind together, rather than feeling disconnected or frustrated by each other's choices," she adds.

While it varies from couple to couple, you and your partner may enjoy the following:

  • Buying tickets to watch the latest college basketball or football game
  • Going to a 'Paint and Sip' class for fun
  • Having a mini outdoor picnic
  • Visiting a national park if it's on your couple's bucket list
  • Spending a day at a local arcade

The possibilities are endless, but all that matters is that "this mutual understanding makes spending time together feel natural and fun," according to Dr. Keels.

Mikhail Nilov

3. Communication styles aren't causing a daily disruption.

Some people have a more direct way of communicating while others may be passive or even passive-aggressive. Less arguments aren't happening because compatible couples communicate the same however. "When they both understand each other's communication style — whether it's direct or more subtle — it helps avoid misunderstandings and frustration."

Here's a couple of examples:

  • If you're having a bad day that has nothing to do with your partner, they don't take it personal when you prefer some alone time.
  • If your partner says something they perceived to be a joke, but you didn't, you're less likely to immediately accuse them of being insensitive. Instead, there's a higher chance of asking what they mean by something and expressing why you didn't like it instead of arguing.

Compatible couples "know how to express their feelings and needs in a way that the other person can easily understand" which makes "it easier to resolve issues calmly," according to Dr. Keels.

Alex Green

Are couples better (or more compatible) because they don't have a lot of arguments?

Well, no. That's actually a stretch because everyone has arguments. "Even compatible couples can argue about everyday things like chores or schedules. No matter how well they get along or how "in sync" they are, little annoyances can still pop up here and there, and cause some tension between them," Dr. Keels shares. "The difference," she points out, "is that they're usually better at handling these moments and keeping them from turning into bigger problems."

The other thing she's seen couples argue about is money. "It's such a common stress point because everyone has different habits and priorities when it comes to spending or saving," she says. But, guess what? "Compatible couples tend to approach the conversation with more understanding and a willingness to find a compromise," she continues.

If you feel like you and your partner aren't on the same page, it may not be time to break up just yet. We've learned that that it can take time to effectively communicate with a romantic partner or understand them. Compatibility is great, but it's not an indicator that a relationship will be smooth sailing!

Keira Burton

How can I have healthier disagreements with my partner?

Like we said, getting to a point where you and your partner aren't consistently hurting each other's feelings during disagreements takes time as well as skill. No one's born knowing all the answers so don't think your relationship is over because you're still figuring things out.

Dr. Keels says one way you and your partner can work on the kind of disagreements you're having is by "knowing how to communicate/compromise." Look, we heard your sigh and know it's probably the antithesis of how you feel. We struggled with compromising, but you don't get far in life thinking that everyone else has to bend to your will all the time.

"Even if they don’t see eye to eye all the time, healthy couples listen to each other's perspectives, and look for solutions that work for both of them. It’s not about 'winning' the argument and getting to say who's right, but finding common ground so they can move forward together," adds Dr. Keels.

SHVETS production

Also, "staying respectful event when things get heated or when you're upset" is a way to have a productive arguments, according to Dr. Keels. What happens is that "healthy couples avoid yelling or saying hurting things during disagreements," she says. This means no cursing or raising voices to the point your next door neighbors feel they have to call the police to do a wellness check on you.

"Instead, they just focus on the real problem and stay calm, which helps them work through the issue without hurting each other and the relationship," Dr. Keels says. And in the event you and your partner can't find common ground in a given moment? She highly suggests you "take breaks or pause when things get too heated."

Couples who do this "know when to step away and cool off before continuing the conversation," she adds. There are times where it's difficult to have a proper conversation when you're anxious or angry, so it's always better to revisit the topic.

Dr. Keels agrees and says, "This gives them a chance to cool down first so they can properly think things through, and think of a solution that works for both of them without saying anything they might regret."

Visit more of our relationships articles to find more advice about navigating friendships and love.

You'd think someone with acne-prone skin wouldn't buy viral beauty finds without doing thorough research, but I'm not above trying to recreate all the latest makeup trends at home. All this did was remind me that everything isn't for everyone — and that's okay! Well...it's not okay I fee like I wasted money, but at least I know what to stay away from. And now I'm here to help you figure out what to avoid as well!

Even though this products didn't work for me, that doesn't mean you can't or shouldn't use them. These are just my least faves of the year — take 'em or leave 'em!

Here are all the overrated beauty finds I wish I wouldn't have bought

Amazon

1. MILK Hydro Grip Primer

I should've known better than to buy this again, but I wanted to see if my skin would react better to it. The first time I tried to use this, I broke out along my jaws in tiny, red bumps. They were itchy and eventually turned into dark spots that took me over a year to get rid of.

Instead of letting that be the red flag that kept me away from this beauty find, I decided to use it in place of my trusted e.l.f. Cosmetics Power Grip Primer I've been relying on. Two things happened:

  1. It created a beautiful base for my makeup.
  2. I didn't break out, but my faced still felt itchy.

I even switched my makeup brushes and checked to make sure other makeup products weren't expired. The culprit continued to be this primer so it's made it to my overrated list.

Amazon

2. KORA Organics Kakadu Plum Vitamin C Serum

I was initially sent this to test, but I decided to buy it myself to see if I truly like it. While it was easy to add to my skincare routine lineup, I realized I actually didn't need to spend $70+ for an effective Vitamin C serum. The only difference between this serum and the one I truly love are their colors and textures.

This one has a slightly yellowish-orange tint to it while being a little thicker compared to the Timeless Skin Care Vitamin C serum I use. The latter is thinner and 100% transparent, plus the odor is slightly stronger. However, both of them aid in smoother skin, smaller pores, and a healthy glow.

I honestly wouldn't buy this one again just because I can get the same benefits for a lesser price.

Amazon

3.NYX Cosmetics Fat Oil Lip Drip

This is a controversial take, but I honestly didn't love the NYX Fat Oil Lip Drip. Although I love the color payoff, it was too sticky for my liking. I saw reviews that mentioned this, but I've purchased lip glosses other people didn't love that worked for me in the past. However, the reviews are telling the truth: the stickiness takes away from what could've been a great formula.

I'll just stick to my Tower 28 Lip Softie Hydrating Lip Treatment in Ube Vanilla!

Amazon

4. L'Oréal Voluminous Panorama Washable Mascara

I know people love this beauty find because it is great. I just didn't think the hype was enough to convince me to buy it again because my essence Lash Princess False Lash Effect Mascara gets the job done for $5. I will say I love the washable feature of L'Oréal's version, but it's still not enough to make me willingly spend over $10 for it.

As great of a product as this is, it's overrated to me because of the price tag.

Sephora

5. Haus Labs Triclone Skin Tech Medium Coverage Foundation

Sigh...it's so hard for me to admit this, but this Haus Labs foundation has become my most overrated beauty find of 2024. It's not that it doesn't work for a few hours, but my skin prefers tinted moisturizers more than anything. I talked about it briefly on TikTok, but skin tints feel like you're not wearing anything on your face.

I'm always really oily after wearing this foundation for a few hours, but I can get extended wear out of the Danessa Myricks Yummy Skin Tint I've been wearing. I like to think it's because it has vegan collagen, ceramides, and cactus extract in it whereas this foundation has ingredients like fermented arnica in it.

Both do a great job of calming inflammation, but something about this foundation makes my skin think it's incredibly dry.

Visit our Amazon Storefront for a list of beauty products we do love!

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

Life comes at you fast when you're in love, while you're juggling career goals, pets, babies, friends, family, and whatever else folded in to your very, very filled cup. One minute you and your spouse can't enough of each other, but then time passes and you might start to feel like you're roommates. "Ugh, what is that about," is a question I used to ask when my own relationship's spark felt like tiny embers amongst our ever-growing responsibilities. Licensed psychotherapist Lucas Saiter, LMHC, owner and director of Manhattan Therapy NYC, says, "It's crucial for couples to acknowledge periods of disconnection without judgement."

According to him, you can start "by having an open conversation about feeling disconnected" which is a "positive step" in the desired direction. But, he wants this to happen during "a calm moment" instead of "during a conflict or when there are distractions."

The ultimate goal is for "each partner" to feel like they have "the opportunity to express their feelings openly and honestly, using 'I' statements to avoid blaming, while the other partner actively listens without interrupting or getting defensive," according to him.

8 ways to renew your marriage when you're busy checking off your to-do list

Your marriage isn't doomed because you feel like it's gotten off track. Saiter says, "Rekindling the spark in a marriage goes beyond physical intimacy; it's about creating emotional closeness and shared experiences. Couples can focus on deep, meaningful conversations that go beyond the day-to-day logistics."

1. If you don't cook often, surprise your spouse with their favorite dinner recipe.

cottonbro studio

Saiter says you or your spouse "can make time for small gestures of kindness and thoughtfulness, like cooking" each other's "favorite meal." We don't know everything, but we're aware that home-cooked meals mean a lot to some people. Eating out is fun, but seeing someone put time and effort into a meal for you feels more personal.

2. Allow your partner to sleep in while you handle bank runs, grocery shopping, and other chores.

Michael Burrows

One of the other ways to each other's heart is "...running errands to show love and appreciation," according to Saiter. This can look like letting your partner rest while you handle early morning visits to the bank or grocery store before traffic picks up on the weekend.

Setting aside time for shared hobbies or interests can also be incredibly rejuvenating. For instance, taking a class together, whether it’s cooking, dancing, or photography, can help in discovering new aspects of each other and create fun, shared memories.

3. Sign up for a dance or photography class together.

cottonbro studio

If you've been thinking about taking a cooking, wine, dance, or photography class together, now's the time to do so! Saiter says, "Setting aside time for shared hobbies or interests can also be incredibly rejuvenating." Before you roll your eyes because you think you and your spouse don't have anything in common anymore, take a step back to remember what it was like when you were dating.

You probably went on different dates like going to the bowling alley, visiting a pumpkin patch, or even taking a candle class together for fun. Doing this again "can help in discovering new aspects of each other and create fun, shared memories," according to Saiter.

4. Verbally share why you're grateful for each other.

Andrea Piacquadio

Yes, it's time for you and your spouse to remember why you chose to exchange vows. "...practicing gratitude by regularly expressing appreciation for each other's qualities and contributions can strengthen the emotional bond and bring back the warmth and closeness," Saiter says.

You can tell your partner you appreciate the times they've sensed something was wrong and knew just what to say to cheer you up. Also, you could simply thank them for remembering to take out the trash without you having to ask.

There's no rulebook that says expressing thanks for each other has to be elaborate and drawn out. It's just something to help you remember how much you see each other.

5. Set aside time to hold hands or cuddle everyday.

Pavel Danilyuk

If you or your spouse are experiencing a drop in your libido, physical intimacy be hard to navigate. Saiter says, "Overcoming a 'dry spell' requires open communication and a willingness to explore underlying issues." As difficult as it may be, don't be afraid to express concerns because "there are many feelings and unsaid wants underneath the 'dry spell,'" he adds.

Doing something as simple as "prioritizing physical, non-sexual touch" is one way way Saiter believes can help you and your spouse become close again. You do things like "holding hands, cuddling, or sharing a long hug," to add a little spark back to what you had.

6. Pencil in date nights.

Jep Gambardella

How many times have your or spouse asked, "Who has time for date night?" Wait, we don't want to know because chances are one of you have said it one too many times to count. Saiter says, "Planning regular date nights or weekends away can also help break the routine and create a sense of adventure in the relationship."

Communicating and being open to trying new things in the bedroom, like role-playing, using toys, or trying new positions, can also reignite the spark and make things exciting again.

You can also try revisiting places or activities that were significant earlier in your relationship to evoke nostalgic, passionate feelings and remind you both of your deep connection.

7. Let your adventurous side show in the bedroom.

Andrea Piacquadio

If one of you are comfortable initiating sex again, let your fun side call the shots. However, Saiter wants to make sure you're "communicating" before surprising your spouse. "...being open to trying new things in the bedroom, like role-playing, using toys, or trying new positions" is one of the ways he thinks you can reconnect behind closed doors. It's all about finding safe ways to "reignite the spark and make things exciting again," he shares!

8. Revisit the place you fell in love with your spouse.

Taylor Thompson

If you remember the exact time and place you knew your spouse was the one, Saiter suggests revisiting it to "evoke nostalgic, passionate feelings and remind you both of your deep connection." Whether it was at your local pizza parlor, the park, or even at a place like Disney World, find your why again.

My spouse and I are doing great after incorporating these tips, but how can we stay consistent?

Ba Tik

Saiter says, "Life gets busy, but it’s crucial to carve out time for each other. Treat it like any other important appointment—block off time in your schedule for date nights, family dinners, or just time relaxing together." Maybe you think it should sound so simple, but it is. Like Saiter says, you have to prioritize your marriage just like you do everything and everyone else.

Ways to help you do so are limiting "distractions by putting away phones and other devices" to "talk about your dreams, unwind together or simply enjoy each other's company," he adds. Still struggling?

"It might also be helpful to look over your daily responsibilities together to make sure the workload at home is shared fairly. Building a strong and fulfilling relationship takes effort and commitment. By prioritizing your partner, communicating openly, and making time for each other, you can strengthen your bond and reignite the spark," Saiter suggests.

All in all, Saiter believes "seeking couples counseling can be a great step toward getting the conversation flowing," if you and your spouse are still having trouble finding the spark in your marriage.

Visit more of our stories about relationships for dating, friendship, and family tips!

Studio McGee has spent the last decade inspiring us with a blend of accessible and elevated designs, creating beautiful and totally livable spaces. In her 2025 Home Decor Trends report, Shea McGee emphasizes that home decor trends evolve gradually over time, and I couldn’t agree more. Unlike the fast-paced world of fashion, where trends shift every season, these design moves develop organically over time, and that's good for your wallet and taking your time to create a space you love. Get inspired to refresh your home in 2025 with a few new accents, from embellishments like fringe to maybe a little western or seaside art.

Here are Studio McGee's 2025 Home Decor Trend Predictions, with a few surprises!

Photo: Shade Degges | Design: Studio Mountain

Romantic Silhouettes

Take Romantic Silhouettes, for example. This is a trend we've seen steadily gain traction over the past few years. Think curvy furniture, delicate floral prints, and soft blush hues — when curated thoughtfully, these elements can become timeless staples in your home.

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- YouTube

Watch Shea's take on designing your home for 2025!

Photo: Michael P.H. Clifford | Design: A1000XBetter

Western Cowboy

This is a design trend that totally surprised me, but I'm so happy to see it in the mix. Elements like leather furniture, rustic accessories, equestrian art, even wood walls, shown in this office designed by A1000XBetter, are making an impact in 2025 and beyond. But Shea notes that you can take this trend literally or just be inspired by the look. You can also mix it with other styles to personalize it for you. Add romantic pillows or ruffled tablecloths like McGee & Co. x Loeffler Randall Gardenia Ruffle Border Tablecloth – things you love that make it yours vs. based solely on one trend.

Gavin Carter| Design: House of Rolison

Saturated Colors

Shea predicts that rich hues like deep browns, oxblood red, and earthy greens will continue to dominate home decor colors going into 2025. House of Rolison's bathroom brown is an excellent example of this beautiful trend.

courtesy of Stewart-Schafer

Pattern Drenching

Embracing a single pattern and drenching an entire room in it — from walls to pillows, headboards, and curtains — is a surprise trend for 2025. This maximalist approach, which has been quietly gaining traction, draws inspiration from Arts and Crafts designers like William Morris and has been in and out of vogue since the Victorian era.

McGee & Co.

Embellishments

This is a trend you can easily DIY to add an extra layer of charm to your decor. Think playful details like fringe accents —beautifully shown in McGee & Co.'s Philippa Settee — along with tassels, pleats, ruffles, and rope. It’s all about embracing texture and whimsy, so have fun with it!

McGee & Co.

Seaside Inspiration

Coastal decor has long been an influence in design and you can be inspired by it in many forms, from shell accents to beach-inspired artwork like McGee & Co.'s Distant Coastline art to textured seagrass baskets and jute rugs. Even the soothing hues of the sea — think soft blues, sandy neutrals, and gentle greens — can inspire your 2025 spaces.

Check out the full list of Studio McGee 2025 Design Trends!

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Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

If there’s any holiday where you’re encouraged to take shots, it’s New Year’s Eve. But, that doesn’t mean you should limit your NYE party beverages to champagne. These sparkly, glittery and all-around enticing shots are sure to please and won’t induce any bad-idea hangovers from too manytequila drinks. You can let your resolution ideas start when the calendar reads 2025. Meanwhile, cheers to enjoying these shots you’ll actually want to make (and take) this New Year’s Eve.

The 14 Best New Year's Eve Shots To Throw Back For 2025!

Brit + Co

Apple Cider Shooter

That caramel vodka you bought on a whim once can finally be put to good use with this spiked apple cider shooter. Whip it up as a shot or a large punch that will last all night long. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Root Beer Float Shooter

This soda shop classic gets an adult upgrade with ROOT, a traditional alcoholic Native American tea. And tea is healthy, right? ;) (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Rainbow Shots

Meet your new party trick! All five of these shots come out of one shaker. Prepare to amaze your guests with your bartending skills this NYE. (via Brit + Co)

Sprinkle Bakes

Champagne Chantilly Shooters

Be sure to add these cake-inspired shooters to your after-holiday to-do list to start 2016 with a little bit of deliciousness. (via Sprinkle Bakes)

Feast + West

Champagne Jell-O Shots

Turn your champagne into a shot! If you’re hosting a large party, these are a way more affordable option than a case of champagne. (via Feast + West)

Dine and Dish

Blackberry Gin Shooters

This shooter is *almost* too pretty to drink. Plus, we can all pretend that the blackberries are doing you some good. (via Dine and Dish)

A Year of Cocktails

Butternut Rum Lifesaver

A shot that tastes like candy is a sweet way to start your year off right. (via A Year of Cocktails)

Holly's Cheat Day

Tipsy Spritzer Shots

Not every shot needs to be super strong. If you’re looking for something you can enjoy throughout the night, this sweet, bubbly and tart “spritzer” shot is low in alcohol content and big on flavor. (via Holly’s Cheat Day)

Bubbly Nation Creations

Sparkling Jello Jigglers

Swap out champagne for the grape juice in this recipe to make a fancy, adult version of a JELL-O jiggler. Sprinkles and edible gold stars required. (via Bubbly Nation Creations)

Broma Bakery

Champagne Jello Shots

Awww, Jello Shots are all grown up in this festive recipe. They have a nice flavor that won’t leave you wincing afterwards. (via Broma Bakery)

The First Year

White Chocolate Champagne Cheesecake Shooters

This shot is delicious enough to be dessert. Top yours with edible glitter sprinkles to get even more festive. (via The First Year)

Cookin' Canuck

Cranberry Kamikaze Shots

NYE calls for a fancier drink than a go-to beer or wine. Ring in the new year with cranberry kamikaze shots that look pretty and taste delicious (via Cookin' Canuck)

Tablespoon

Banana Split Shooters

This shot requires five ingredients that'll send your taste buds soaring. I mean, what could be better than taking a shot of something that tastes like dessert? (via Tablespoon)

Something Swanky

Sparkling Cider Jello Shots (Non-Alcoholic)

If you want to be extra careful not to induce a hangover when you wake up in 2024, your best bet are these sparkling cider jello shots. They're made with unflavored gelatin, distilled water, cider and your choice of berries, cherries, or gummies! (via Something Swanky)

Looking for more NYE recipe or drink ideas? Check out Brit + Co on Pinterest and check out our New Year's Eve dinner ideas for more inspiration.This post has been updated.