6 Surprising Ways Bumble Is Making Meaningful Connections IRL

The FIRO framework looks at three different types of interpersonal needs:

• Inclusion, our need to belong. How much do you need to be part of a group? How much do you want to be included by other people in their groups, and how much do you want to include others in your group?
• Control, our need for influence. How much to you need to have clear direction and structure in your relationships, both on a one-to-one level and in groups
• Affection, our need for intimacy. How important is it for you to have close personal relationships with other people at a one-to-one level?

The FIRO looks at two different aspects for each of these areas. First, how much of that need is expressed to others, how much of that behavior we initiate to others. For Inclusion, for example, how much do we try to include other people in our activities – your FIRO Expressed Inclusion score. It also looks at how much we want from others.

• For Inclusion: How much do we need other people to include us in their group and involve us in their activities? Wanted Inclusion.
• For Control: The extent to which we try to influence and control others, and how much we want to be in an environment that provides us with structure and clarity. Expressed Control and Wanted Control.
• For Affection: How much we try to be warm and friendly to others, and how much we want others to be warm and friendly to us. Expressed and Wanted Affection.

That gives scores; Expressed and Wanted Inclusion,Expressed and Wanted Control,Expressed and Wanted Affection. And we can have a high, medium, or low score for each of these six areas.

So how can this explain why someone might be misunderstood? Well, this can happen when someone’s expressed and wanted scores are different. Let’s look at an example. Joe has high Expressed Inclusion, but low Wanted Inclusion. He wants to involve lots of people in his activities but doesn’t want them to include him in their activities. He’s likely seen by others as outgoing and sociable, but he also has a real need for privacy.

Because people see his high Expressed Inclusion, his friends are likely to invite or include him more than he wants to be, and he’ll refuse some of those invitations – which might leave them feeling hurt or otherwise harm the friendship. But knowing his FIRO profile will give Joe the language to describe his behavior and keep the friendship alive.

Of course, our interpersonal needs involve other people too. Let’s look at Joe alongside his friend Joan. Joe has high Expressed Inclusion and low Wanted Inclusion. Joan has low Expressed Inclusion and high Wanted Inclusion. This might make for a good relationship. Joe wants to include Joan (high Expressed Inclusion), and she wants to be included (high Wanted Inclusion). Joan doesn’t much want to include other people in her activities (low Expressed Inclusion), and that’s fine with Joe, who doesn’t much want to be included (low Wanted Inclusion).

However, things might be a little different on Affection. Joe has high Expressed Affection and high Wanted Affection. Joan is low on both. Joe wants to be warm and friendly with Joan, to get a connection, but Joan, with low Wanted Affection, doesn’t want that. And Joe is looking for warm and friendly behavior from Joan, which she probably doesn’t want to express. This may be an area where understanding their FIRO results helps them to understand why their relationship may sometimes be strained, and gives them the knowledge they need to make that relationship work.

So take a moment to think about your relationships, your friendships. Are there places where your best friend doesn’t seem to understand you, or you them? Are there times when they don’t quite seem to give you what you need, or vice versa? Maybe understanding your interpersonal needs, or knowing your FIRO profile, could help.

What are your hobbies?

My favorite thing to do when talking to a new friend is to ask them how they spend their time. Because while school and work can have elements of responsibility or obligation, hobbies are pure fun! This is a good question to open your small talk with because it'll help you both loosen up and think about something you love to do. Plus, if you end up learning you share a hobby, you have even more to talk about! (As I discovered during my conversation with author Yulin Kuang!)

What's your favorite way to unwind?

If you want your conversation to feel more relaxed, well, ask about relaxation! Whether your new friend does yoga, they spend a half hour doing skincare, or they read a book chapter every night, this question is sure to get a positive response. Speaking of books...

What are you watching or reading right now?

There are so many movies, TV shows, and books out right now that you're both bound to be in the middle of one title or another. I can (and do) spend hours upon hours talking about my favorite TV shows. This is one small talk question that can make even the most awkward convo enjoyable.

What fictional character is closest to your personality?

And if the TV conversation goes well, take it a step farther by asking which fictional character your new friend relates to the most. It'll give you a little more insight into their personality, and it's just plain fun.

Which Taylor Swift era are you in?

If you and your acquaintance are both Taylor Swift fans, dive deep into your current eras. Whether you're in your Lover era or you're embracing the carefree chaos of 1989, this is the perfect excuse to queue up your Taylor Swift playlist.

Are you a morning person or a night person?

If you're both morning people, you can bond over how nice it is to be the early birds, while two night people will have plenty to talk about when it comes to nightlife or the best places to look at the stars. And if you're opposites, you can give each other tips!

Are you a chocolate person, vanilla person, or neither?

I don't know about y'all, but I refuse to order ice cream unless it's chocolate. I love consistently knowing what to expect. Maybe your new friend feels the same way, or they prefer the spontaneity of ordering a new flavor every single time. Either way, it'll give you a look at their personality AND lead you to the ice cream store. It's a win-win.

What fruit are you?

My current go-to question was born out of my interview with The Outsiders cast (in honor of character Cherry Valance). My current answer is strawberry for a few simple reasons: you know what you're in for, it can be super sweet, and on a good day, it's the same on the inside at the outside.

What's something you're proud of this year?

It's crazy that we're halfway through 2024! Let the conversation take an exciting turn by remembering something fun, memorable, and beautiful.

What's one thing you want to check off your bucket list this year?

But don't spend all your time talking about the past! Think ahead to the second half of the year and talk about a dream or goal you have. It can be as small as finally ordering frames for your gallery wall or as big as scoring a promotion.

Where do you want to travel?

Summer's not over yet! Daydream about somewhere you'd like to see one day, like Italy or Seoul. And in the meantime, plan a day trip somewhere close by :).

When did speculations about 'The Simple Life' reboot begin?

Peacock first shared a video clip on Instagram that hinted something special involving Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie is coming in May. A nostalgic TV set with a black and white screen can be seen while our favorite duo's voices can be hearing saying, "Sanasa, Sanasa."

Peacock captioned the post, "New Era. Same Besties. Coming soon to Peacock," and fans could barely contain their excitement. Even celebs like Naomi Campbell and Katy Perry commented on these hot vibes.

Then Paris Hilton took to her own Instagram to share more about what fans could expect. She said, "As some of you may know, we are doing a reunion special to celebrate 20 years of our show The Simple Life and it's been so much fun."

Actress Selma Blair shared how much she's looking forward to this by commenting that she's "living for this."

So are we!

What was 'The Simple Life' about?

The Simple Life showed Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie as they basically traded their wealthy lifestyles for 'everyday' living. Cameras followed them from fast food jobs to dealing with getting out of sticky situations they'd supposedly never experienced. Needless to say, it was hilarious, iconic, and instant reality TV gold.

How long was 'The Simple Life' on air?

The Simple Life was on air from 2003 to 2007 with five successful seasons. It seemed like it wasn't going to be hit at first, but it defied expectations. By how much you ask?

According to reporting from The Cut, somewhere around 13 million viewers tuned in to watch Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie's oddball take on daily life. That's a pretty huge deal if you ask us!

When will 'Paris & Nicole: The Encore' debut?

Paris & Nicole: The Encore will premiere on Peacock December 12! The two were previously seen at a Sonic drive-thru yesterday so it can be assumed filming is underway (via People)!

Sporting partial Sonic uniforms, Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie added accent pieces that match their signature flairs. Paris wore a pair of reflective sunglasses, silver sequin heels, and added a pink flip phone to front of her blue apron. Nicole wore gold hoops and a pair of slingback pumps alongside her hotdog mascot costume. That's hot (dog).

How does Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie feel about reuniting for a reunion special?

Paris Hilton has expressed how much she loves to be sharing the screen with Nicole Richie again. "I'm so excited to be doing this with Nicole on Peacock. Nicole has been my best friend since we're 2 years old, every memory that I have is with her," (via E! News).

Nicole also posted a few throwback moments from The Simple Life on her Instagram, but the most notable one is the video mashup of them singing "Sanasa, Sanasa" over and over. "20 years ago, not only did we become television stars… we became song writers. Happy Anniversary Sill @parishilton#TheSimpleLife#sannnasaaaaa" she wrote in the caption.

What have Paris and Nicole said about their reunion special?

Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie sat down with W Magazine to let the world know the Paris & Nicole: The Encore show is on its way! Not only that, but fans can expect to see an Opera version of the show they fell in love with two decades ago. Paris said, "The idea of the opera was unexpected" while Nicole chimed in with, "What people need, even though they don't know it yet, is for 'Sanasa' to be an opera.'"

The two besties came up with the idea via a series of texts that started off as ideas between them. Nicole said everything "came up organically" for the two and we can only imagine the memories this brought up for them. OG influencer Paris even talked about how The Simple Life was an "important show in pop culture history" and we couldn't agree more!

Nicole truly wants people to enjoy themselves while watching Paris & Nicole: The Encore and "find the same joy" she had while filming it. According to Paris, she feels what they have is "magic" because "there's just so much history behind it."

It's not every day that you can get to have fun with your best friend while coming up with long-lasting memories that contribute to pop culture, but Paris and Nicole have always danced to the beat of their own drums. Now we'll get to see them in action again!

Watch The Trailer For 'Paris & Nicole: The Encore'