How To Make & Break Habits with Productivity Expert, Charles Duhigg

1. Choose your battles ahead of time.

You're not going to change everyone's opinion about all of the things over the course of a meal and a football game. You might want to show up ready for a duel of words with your Facebook-meme-king cousin, but that's just going to put your opinionated family member on the offensive from the moment you walk in. Decide ahead of time if there's one issue that you really cannot keep your mouth shut about if it comes up, and have two or three talking points ready that clarify your position on that topic. If your hot button does get pushed, your talking points will help you keep from making things personal.

2. Confer with the host.

If you feel comfortable with the person that's organizing or hosting Thanksgiving, speak to him or her in advance about how you can be on Team Keep the Peace. Most people aren't keen on a political brouhaha breaking out around their dinner table, so they'll probably be relieved to hear that you're on board and willing to help make the day go smoothly for everyone. Brainstorm some ideas about seating arrangements or wholesome activities to fill the idle family time that can lead to trading barbs.

3. Make it a game.

Caitlin Bergstein, a Boston-based matchmaker and relationship expert for Three Day Rule, suggests a fun twist on the swear jar concept. “If your family is up for the challenge, you can even make it a game. Each time someone mentions something political, they have to put a dollar in a jar (or take a drink, depending on how your family celebrates the holiday). At the end of the night, that cash can be put aside for the next family get together!"

4. Have a moment of silence.

Sometimes the idea of a quiet table can be intimidating (all those chewing noises!), but encouraging a moment of reflection among your holiday guests can actually be transformative. Whether you observe several seconds of silence in honor of relatives you've lost, as a way to silently acknowledge your individual blessings, or as an act of prayer or meditation, you've hopefully brought the room back to focus on each other's company and the gift that it is to be together.

5. Be an active listener.

If your one doggedlypersistent aunt can't let go of her obsession with the latest political scandal, reconsider what she's actually trying to tell you. Chances are, it's not just about what she saw on the news. “Assume that your polarizing relative actually probably just wants to connect, feel respected, and reduce their own anxiety about holiday gatherings, and interpret even difficult behavior as such," advises Mary Fisher, a Salt Lake City psychotherapist who specializes in family relationships. “Express the desire to connect while redirecting the conversation," Fisher recommends. Emphasize the fact that you're interested in protecting the time your family spends together. That can help soften the blow when you ask to instead hear them share a family memory or talk about a hobby you both share.

6. Disengage.

Remember that if angry words or offensive language start flying at you across the sweet potato pie, you don't have to respond. Have a script in mind to use, something like, “While I hear where you're coming from, I don't share your opinion, and I'm done talking about it today." Convey the message that you're quite clear on the matter being discussed, and you're not going to take the bait. You may have to repeat yourself several times, or you may choose to remain silent until things cool down around you. Either one is okay.

7. Duck out early.

If you feel like you have to retreat from the situation entirely, do it. One of the best things about being an adult is leaving when you want to leave. You don't have to subject yourself, your spouse, or your family to any kind of dialogue that is insulting, bigoted, or aggressive. Fisher shares these words of advice: “While we might think that the holidays are the time to resolve differences, they are actually the time to affirm and nurture connection, which can be an uphill battle with politically polarizing relatives." If you don't feel like a connection is being nurtured and the environment is not good for you to be in, say goodbye and make a break for it.

1. E.T.

This remains one of Barrymore’s most iconic roles, and at 6 years old no less. Stephen Spielberg’s E.T. continues to be regarded as one of the greatest films ever made since its release in 1982, and comes in with a 7.9 out of 10 on IMDb and a whopping 99 percent on Rotten Tomatoes. It’s no wonder why as the film beautifully portrays two children befriending an alien and keeping his existence a secret to protect him. If you want to cry, this is a must-see. If you don’t, well, you still have to watch this, just have the tissues ready. Not to mention, 6-year-old Drew Barrymore is so cute in this.

2. ​Ever After

A retelling of the fairytale Cinderella with Drew Barrymore? Say less. There have been a handful of Cinderella adaptations, to say the least, but this may be one of the best, and Barrymore is to thank for that. Her effervescent innocence shines through in this role and she offers a wit and independence that was not seen in preceding versions – Barrymore’s Cinderella is resourceful and isn’t the archetypal damsel in distress, which is why this is a refreshing must-watch. Plus, its 7.1 out of 10 score on IMDb and 91 percent on Rotten Tomatoes.

3. Scream

Yes, I know Barrymore is only in Scream for all of 10 minutes, but in my humble opinion, it may be the best 10 minutes of the film. Her incredible performance and blood-curdling scream open the film, and thrust you into the most prolific horror film franchise of our time. So yeah, I think this deserves a spot on the list. And even though it's rated 7.4 out of 10 on IMDb and 77 percent on Rotten Tomatoes, it's arguably one of Barrymore's most iconic moments ever.

4. Donnie Darko

This thought-provoking, and might I add haunting, film has still been top of mind for me since my first watch. While Barrymore’s screen time is certainly limited in Donnie Darko, there’s no questioning the impact her role and character offered the film. Her character, high-school teacher Karen Pomeroy, is a relatable anchor in a film that is otherwise unsettling. And that, friends, should be enough reasoning to get you to watch this movie. Plus its 8 out of 10 on IMDb and 87 percent Rotten Tomatoes score.

5. Whip It

It’s only fitting Whip It follows a performance like Ever After – two very different settings, yet two very similar roles for Barrymore in that she plays a strong, independent woman in both. Even more so, Barrymore not only starred and directed this film, she co-wrote the screenplay as well. What can’t she do?! I love this movie (about a roller derby league) so much that it ~magically~ appears on my TV screen every year. It comes in with a 6.9 out of 10 IMDb rating and a 86 percent RT rating.

6. ​Confessions Of A Dangerous Mind

If anyone ever needed proof that Barrymore has range — I don’t know who would, but that’s beside the point — I’d show them George Clooney’s directorial debut Confessions Of A Dangerous Mind. Barrymore plays a supporting role that seemingly morphs into one of her most memorable as she plays the typical supporting woman alongside Sam Rockwell’s game show host & undercover assassin. Because what man can simply exist without a woman behind him? The movie has a 7 out of 10 IMDb rating and a 79 percent Rotten Tomatoes score.

7. ​The Wedding Singer

I didn’t mean to intentionally put two Adam Sandler movies on this list, but here we are. What can I say? The Barrymore and Sandler duo cannot be stopped! It’s another early 2000s film (that decade has the best rom-coms, and I won’t debate this fact), where Barrymore and Sandler slowly fall in love…despite the fact she’s engaged to someone else. What’s not to love? The movie has a 6.9 on IMDb and 72 percent on Rotten Tomatoes.

8. ​Never Been Kissed

If She’s All That and Mean Girls had a movie child together, (with maybe a hint of step-parenting from 21 Jump Street) it would be Never Been Kissed. This movie (which as a 6 out of 10 on IMDb and only 55 percent on RT) is quintessential early 20's Barrymore entering her rom-com phase, and for that, I’m forever thankful. Barrymore stars as an undercover journalist who breaks into the most popular clique at school…and then falls for her English teacher.

9. ​Charlie's Angels

I remember my first time watching Charlie’s Angels – it’s one of those films everyone’s dad calls a classic – and after watching it, I thought ‘dang, rightfully so.’ Beneath all of the visible hairspray, sexy innuendos, and revealing outfits, this film is really about strong female relationships and camaraderie. If anything, it’s a fun time filled with action and drama, and, I hate to admit it, it’s a classic (despite the fact it has a 5.6 out of 10 IMDb rating and a 68 percent on Rotten Tomatoes. Don't even get me started on the 45 percent audience score!).

10. 50 First Dates

It’s no secret that Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler have insane screen chemistry, and this movie proves it. 50 First Dates is a witty romance that Barrymore shines in. She portrays a woman who has amnesia after an accident, meaning she basically relives the same day over and over. Her portrayal is truly unforgettable and she commands the screen — sorry Adam. The movie scored a 6.8 out of 10 on IMDb but somehow only got a 45 percent on Rotten Tomatoes!