The Surprising Thing That’s Stressing Students Out MORE Than Exams

1. Talking About Money Can Expose Hidden Feelings

It's impossible to know how someone feels every second of the day, but we probably all think we have a good understanding of the people we're close to. But people are capable of hiding how they feel about something or burying their discomfort until certain situations 'expose' them. Why does it seem like money has a way of doing this?

Both Irwin and Dunlap agree that "money is taboo," leading people to avoid conversations about it. "Data tells us that we are more likely to talk about any other taboo topic—sex, politics, religion, even death—before we’ll talk about money," says Dunlap. West agrees and says, "Money is like that one friend who’s incredibly helpful but totally untrustworthy—everyone likes what they bring to the table, but no one wants to talk about them directly." Did you think of someone specific? It's okay because I did too!

The problem is that money can make "hidden insecurities come out, old sibling rivalries rear their heads," and more, according to West. "Even something like 'who paid for what' can suddenly become a life-or death conversation," she says. It's strange because Irwin says a Wells Fargo study shows that "many Americans across all ages are worried about money," proving we're all thinking about it, despite our avoidance issues.

2. And Money Can Also Create Unease In Conversations

"When we don’t have open conversations about money, we’re left to navigate it on our own, which can keep us feeling underpaid, overworked, or unsure about our financial situation," Dunlap points out. She feels "discussing money requires a huge amount of vulnerability" which "isn't easy for everyone." You may have seen how other topics are swept under the rug by family members or friends based on reasons they're not ready to talk about.

Though Irwin believes saying something like saying, "'Here's what's keeping me up at night' or 'here's what my goals are' could strengthen connections," Dunlap knows that "shame, comparison, or fear of judgement" can cause people to remain tight-lipped about their finances.

If you've experienced a weird moment because of money or had to be the unfortunate witness of an awkward conversation, my apologies. It's not fun no matter who's involved because, unfortunately, "money carries layers of emotions, like pride and insecurity, that turn simple conversations into potential minefields," says West.

Dunlap says there's a silver lining if people are willing to be open, however. "The key is respecting each person’s comfort level, and encouraging openness if they're willing to meet you there. It’s not going to be perfect at first, but by starting to share more about your own financial experiences, you can start to break the cycle of shame and fear around money. You might be surprised at how quickly others are willing to open up too."

3. Making Assumptions About Other’s Money Status And Financial Situation Can Lead To Disrespecting Boundaries

No one's saying you should never lend friends money, but being mindful about the decision is worth noting. West feels "it's complicated" while Dunlap believes the issue "can be tricky." There's a chance a low-key loan becomes an expectation that you should dish out money every time someone needs help, even if you're trying to maintain your own bills. "Lending money to a friend is like sharing your Netflix password—simple in theory, but one wrong move, and things get weird," West forewarns.

Dunlap also says, "When you lend money to someone close to you, there's always the chance that you won’t get it back. You want to be mentally prepared for that! Otherwise, it can strain your finances and your relationship. The emotional toll can be just as heavy, as unpaid loans can lead to resentment or awkwardness." It's not unusual to hear about certain friends being unreliable in more ways than one after you've let them borrow something. Unfortunately, Irwin indicates this happens because some people "don't expect to give something back that they've borrowed."

Because of this, Dunlap thinks "it's best to avoid loans if possible." Should you decide to move forward with helping out a friend who's in a bind, make sure you're both in agreement about repayment and what to expect moving forward. West says "having clear terms" or "gifting a small amount if you can afford it" is like "buying their friendship insurance." The latter is something Dunlap agrees with because it "helps prevent resentment if they can't pay you back as planned." Plus, she feels it also "keeps the loan within an amount you're okay with potentially losing."

4. Lending Money Is A Slippery Slope That Can Lead To Distrust And Resentment

It's amazing how money can lead to a friendship breakup if boundaries aren't created or respected. "Money is a sneaky little devil who can push everyone’s buttons. It can cause resentment if one person feels taken advantage of or someone’s 'casual loan' becomes an epic saga of unpaid IOUs," West says. Not only that, but Dunlap knows "money can strain relationships between friends and family by highlighting differences in how we value it, expect to use it, or feel about sharing it."

Friends and family members shouldn't take each other's kindness for granted, but human nature is fickle at times. That's not an indicator that someone you love is a "bad" person, but they may feel like you owe them your time and money. However, Irwin says this isn't "de facto that that person is entitled." Still, Dunlap is more than aware how this can play out. "For example, it can lead to resentment if one person is always the one picking up the tab, while another might feel uncomfortable or indebted because they’ve been helped financially," she says.

On the other hand, it can show up a little differently in families. She adds, "Issues like unequal inheritance or constant requests for financial help can lead to deep emotional tension. Money can also become a tool for power imbalances, where one person feels in control and the other feels dependent, and that can mess with trust and respect."

When certain negative patterns show up in relationships, it can make people decide to take a step back from being available. "And once distrust settles in, it’s hard to shake; nobody wants to be 'that friend' who’s forever dodging a Venmo request or getting side-eye from relatives at every family BBQ," West points out. How many times have you built up a wall with the people you love because of repeated unreliability or the expectation that you're supposed to help them whenever they ask? If you didn't hesitate to think of a moment, you're living proof that distrust can affect even the closest relationships.

Dunlap says, "When money becomes a main factor in a relationship, it can overshadow the connection, making it difficult to maintain genuine trust and understanding. You can avoid this by having open conversations with friends and family about your financial situation. Clear communication can help keep the focus on the relationship, not the money."

5. You Can Worry You're Not A Good Friend Or Family Member For Setting Money Boundaries

Worrying about how other people feel can keep us from setting boundaries. There's a difference between being an empath and a people pleaser, but it's easy to blur the lines. You can absolutely empathize with someone's hardship while knowing you're not in the position to lend the amount they may be looking for. I'm a huge fan of saying that two things can be true at once — because they can.

Irwin says you need to "address the conversation head on" if a friend does ask you for a loan. Your response may depend on if their ask was "emotionally-charged or "in an uncomfortable environment," but Irwin doesn't recommend ignoring it. If you're not in the space to respond, here's what she suggests saying in a "timely" fashion:

1. "Hey, I need time to think about this. Let me get back to you."
2. "We can help you, but here are our boundaries."
3. "We see and understand you, but we're unable to help because we're trying to pay off debt or save for _______."

Yes, Financial Boundaries Are Essential

Don't think you need to create financial boundaries for yourself and your friends? Think again. West says, "Establishing some ground rules is a lifesaver—think of it adding airbags to the friendship. Setting boundaries early on, like when you’re still in the happy, non-monetary part of the relationship, can protect both sides if things get sticky."

Here's how she advises you proceed with creating boundaries:

1. Keep it light and be honest; you’re not making a prenuptial agreement here, just letting them know you’d like to avoid “financial fireworks” later.
2. Say, “I’m your friend, not your ATM.” It’s funny but helps set the tone that your wallet isn’t a free-for-all.
3. Set a gift cap, such as, "I'm happy to chip in for brunch or a birthday, but let’s not get into home-loan territory.”
4. If you do lend, draw up a repayment plan. Think of it as adulting with a side of accountability to avoid “accidentally” becoming their financial fairy godmother.
5. Limit talk of big financial choices unless you’re genuinely invested together. After all, nobody needs to know how much their friend spends on avocado toast or scented candles, let alone home renos.
6. A little humor and some boundaries go a long way. You’ll save yourself a lot of awkwardness and keep the friendships intact, one “non-loaned” dollar at a time!

Tori says, "It's so important to have transparent conversations about money, set clear boundaries, and ensure that relationships are prioritized in any money exchange." Here are a few things you can try:

1. Communicate about your budget with a “gratitude sandwich.” Say you’re invited to an outing—a dinner, or a sports game—that isn’t within your budget right now. You can respond with the “gratitude sandwich.” The “pieces of bread” are positive, and the “meat” is the money thing you’re scared to say. Thank that person for the invite, let them know it’s not within budget right now, and then offer a cheaper alternative, reassuring them that you’d really love to see them. Offering an alternative reminds that person that declining their invitation isn’t about them, and you still care about them. In doing so, you prioritize your budget AND your relationship in the process.When in doubt, remember that no is a complete sentence. You don’t need to overcomplicate things, and sometimes a simple “no” is all you need.
2. Set expectations early. When planning trips with friends, discuss the budget and how costs will be split upfront. Having these conversations ensures that everyone is on the same page and helps avoid any misunderstandings. It creates a supportive, stress-free environment where everyone can enjoy the experience together without any added worries!

The Final Verdict:

Once you've weighed your options and considered what you need, you can decide to loan your friend money. However, Irwin wants you to consider being formal about it. "You can absolutely draft a promissory note or loan agreement so that your friend knows how serious you are about your boundaries. If you want, you can also put an interest rate on it," she says.

It's not to hurt your friend's feelings, but it is a boundary you can put in place so they think to themselves, "This is truly a loan because I'm borrowing money with the intent to pay it back," Irwin says. It could change the dynamics of your friendship, but it's more about being "purposeful about the language being used" so you and your friend can both move in the "right direction," according to Irwin.

If the idea of creating a 'loan agreement' sounds icky to you, Dunlap wants you to seriously consider it as "an extra bit of protection." She says all you need to do, again, is "try setting up a simple contract to outline repayment terms" because it "can help both of you stay on the same page and avoid misunderstandings down the road."

Her ultimate piece of advice? "Only lend what you're comfortable giving and potentially losing, and keep open communication to maintain trust and respect in the relationship."

How Do I Pay Off Credit Card Debt?

If you're serious about reducing your debt, you'll have to cut back on your nonessential spending by setting a realistic monthly budget for expenses like dining out or entertainment. Come up with a payment strategy that works best for you and your current financial situation. For example, focus on paying off the card with the highest interest rate first while making minimum payments on others. Once the highest-interest debt is cleared, roll that payment into the card with the next highest interest rate. This approach reduces the overall interest you pay and can help you become debt-free faster.

What Is A Debt Snowball?

A debt snowball is a debt repayment method where you focus on paying off your smallest debts first, regardless of interest rate, while making minimum payments on larger debts. The debt snowball method is popular because it builds momentum and motivation, giving you a psychological boost as you see debts disappearing one by one. Once the smallest debt is paid off, you take the amount you were paying on it and apply it to the next smallest debt. This creates a "snowball effect," where your available payment amount grows as each debt is eliminated, helping you pay off larger debts faster over time.

How Do I Get Out Of Debt?

When it comes to getting out of debt, the method that works best for you might be different than what works best for someone else. To get started, list all your debts, including balances, interest rates, and minimum payments. This gives you a clear picture of what you owe. Analyze your income and expenses to see where you can cut back and direct any extra funds toward your debt. Avoid new debt: Shift to a cash or debit-only system to prevent accumulating more debt while paying off what you already owe.

There are a variety of factors, from financial situation to income to dependents, but no matter what your life look like right now, here are some realistic ways to help you conquer your debt.

Create An LBD (Little Budget Library)

A little budget diary is a way to take stock of all your monthly and annual expenses, such as subscriptions, streaming services, and groceries — and write them all down in your LBD, says Brit + Co's Money School instructor Nicole Lapin. "You'll reference this all year — weekly is best — so you'll want to start off on the right foot with an easy-to-reference LBD. Don't make it hard. It's an easy task that will help you get organized quickly," she says.

Be Realistic About Your Expenses

"Do not be aspirational with your numbers," says Skye Kelly. "Pay attention to how you ACTUALLY live and how you ACTUALLY spend and work from there." Track your expenses for a month to create an accurate budget, review your paycheck and follow the 50-20-30 rule. These are the percentages you should spend on essentials, your future, and your lifestyle (non-essentials) with the goal to live within your means and eventually start saving and investing.

Check out Brit + Co's Teach Me Something Newpodcast with finance pro Tonya Rapley for breaking out of the paycheck-to-paycheck cycle.

Set Your Sights On Big Goals

Whether it's that dream bucket-list trip or a buying your first home, think about what your long-term goals are and think big when planning a budget. "When we are committed to a massive financial goal (retiring early and traveling the world with your life partner) suddenly the decision between roses or calla lilies as a wedding bouquet seem meaningless, and we are more inclined to find ways to spend less so we can meet our long-term financial goals," says Skye Kelly. She adds: "Create a budget for the milestone, stay resourceful and use points, seasonal sales, and help or hand-me-downs where you can."

Check out Brit + Co's Teach Me Something New podcast with The Points Guy for credit card tips and travel hacks.

"Spring Clean" Your Finances

Take a moment to organize your expenses. Dedicate a weekend afternoon and delete unused subscriptions, close and consolidate accounts, check in with your savings and retirement plans to make sure they're working for you, reduce auto-renewals, and unload credit card debt byconsolidating them into a single low-interest personal loan. It will feel as good, if not better, than spring cleaning your house, plus think about the money you'll have saved in that afternoon.

Find Your Side Hustle

Beyond just reducing your expenses, look at ways you can increase your income so you can start saving andinvesting to grow your wealth. "Increasing income might look like side jobs, part-time employment, creating an income stream, selling clutter around the home, or creating a product or service that meets the demands of the marketplace," says Skye Kelly. Look at selling clothes on resale sites, having a garage sale come spring, selling books online, starting an Etsy shop if you have a creative interest... anything that will add some extra cash in your pocket each month.

It's OK If It's Not Perfect

"Because budgets are rooted in math, we tend to see everything as right or wrong, which *shudder* brings up a lot of grade-school math class shame for many of us," says Skye Kelly. "If you plan your budget at the beginning of the month and at the end of the month it was only 80% accurate, you are likely killin’ it financially. I’ve asked hundreds of financial experts over the years ‘how many times did you get the budget exactly right?’ and every single answer has been ‘zero times.’"

Avoid Making Money Decisions During Hard Times

Mental wellness plays a big role in how we view our expenses and often we can make decisions in order to make us feel better (retail therapy, anyone?) instead of making healthy long-term financial decisions. "Having a line item in the budget for guilt-free spending is critical if you can afford it," says Skye Kelly. "This guilt-free spending money is there for times you want to splurge even though you might not be able to justify it."

Skye Kelly says it's best to avoid major financial decisions if you can for at least 6 months:

• After a significant death or when you are grieving
• While you or a loved one are experiencing a critical illness or at the onset of a new disability
• After a major breakup or divorce
• When you’ve entered into a new romantic relationship
• If you’ve been diagnosed with or suspect you have a mental illness and are awaiting treatment

"During these times we are highly likely to make emotional or impulsive decisions. Give yourself time to regulate some of the higher intensity emotions that might be driving the urge to spend."

Curious about crypto? Check out Brit + Co's Teach Me Something Newpodcast with finance pro Nicole Lapin for a primer on how to make your first crypto investment.

The Best Body Wash For Eczema-Prone Skin

This fragrance-free body wash stays in my shower not only because it's doesn't have pesky (and irritating) perfumes, but it's also super soothing. I feel like I'm at a spa each time I use it, and I've definitely noticed my skin isn't dry when I get out of the shower. It has a 5% nourishing serum in it along with colloidal oatmeal and was co-created by dermatologists who get it. The best part is that it not only does my skin look better, but I haven't experienced much body acne with it either. Plus, Amazon's customers less likely to return it!

Prior to using this, I was an avid Bath & Body Works body wash user. Before you throw tomatoes at me, I didn't know how much they were affecting my skin until I started doing more research in college. Once I learned better, I stopped using them and haven't looked back.

Another alternative to this is something Dr. Woolery-Lloyd suggests using — Dove's Sensitive Skin Body Wash. I used to use it prior to falling in love with Soothing Relief formula because it's hypoallergenic and equally moisturizing. It's just a little creamier!

Customer Reviews For Dove's Soothing Relief Body Wash

Some of the top reviews on Amazon for this body wash are:

• "I absolutely love this wonderful, silky, smooth, make you feel so sexy type of body wash! I have eczema & to find a body wash that works for me is saying A LOT! For having sensitive skin, I love how this is fragrance free, my skin is smooth & soft, not dry or dried out, not itchy, & great for after shaving, no razor bumps or redness!"
• "This seems to have really improved my skin. It's great for sensitive skin."
• "This has NO SCENT. Not even a weird “unscented” scent- you other itchy folk know what I’m talking about.
  Creamy but lathers like a dream and you only need like two pumps! Rinses off easily. Skin doesn’t feel dry or tight or… itchy! Like, at all! I will be ordering this over and over!"
• "I have uber sensitive skin and have to be very careful in which products I use. This product feels really nice on my skin and has a positive, moisturizing and calming effect. I would highly recommend."

Shop The Best Body Wash For Eczema

Dove Soothing Relief Body Wash

Other Great Body Washes For Eczema:

Vanicream Gentle Body Wash

Dr. Woolery-Lloyd and Dr. Collins both recommend this body wash for those who have eczema: "It's free of dyes, fragrance, lanolin, and other common irritants.This product helps maintain moisture and reduce irritation, making it suitable for regular use," says Dr. Collins.

Aveeno Skin Relief Body Wash

Dr. Collins loves Aveeno's Skin Relief Body Wash because it "contains colloidal oatmeal, which is soothing and helps relieve itching."

Cetaphil Pro Dry Skin Soothing Wash

"It's soap-free, fragrance-free, and designed for sensitive skin," says Dr. Collins.

More Eczema-Friendly Body Wash Recommendations

CeraVe Soothing Body Wash

This body wash has more of an oil consistency because of the Omega Oils found in it. They help to add moisture back to dry skin while Niacinamide helps soothe it if you've been experiencing irritation.

Naturium The Glow Getter Multi-Oil Body Wash

This hydrating body wash may start off as an oil, but it quickly forms into a rich, moisturizing lather that we love. Although it's not specifically designed for eczema-prone skin, but the good news is that it works for everyone. It has over 50% glycerin and phyto lipids in to help "maintain healthy skin barrier and acid mantle" so you'll enjoy something luxurious for only $16!

Kopari Hydrating Body Wash

This hydrating body wash has moisturizing coconut water and sea kelp in it, making it the vegan option you'll be glad you tried. It also has aloe vera juice in it which helps maintain the skin's collagen.

What is eczema?

Eczema isn't necessarily a secret, but not everyone knows how it's actually defined or characterized. Both Dr. Woolery-Lloyd and Dr. Collins agree that eczema is also referred to as atopic dermatitis. Dr. Collins says, "It's a chronic skin condition characterized by inflamed, itchy, and often red or discolored patches on the skin. It can affect people of all ages but is commonly seen in children." The Asthma & Allergy Network reports "15-20% of children globally" have it which seems to coincide with the CDC discovering "nearly 1 in 5 children have a seasonal allergy." Dr. Woolery-Lloyd adds, "It tends to run in families." This makes sense because my mom had eczema, passed it on to me, and now my son has it!

She also says, "People with mild eczema may experience persistent dryness and itchiness, while more severe cases can lead to painful, cracked, and even bleeding skin." While it's not central to one location, Dr. Woolery-Lloyd says eczema commonly shows up "inside of the elbows, behind the knees, and the face."

Some cases of eczema differs from others, but it can become severe. The reason it exists in the body is because of "a dysfunction in the skin barrier" that leads to "an increased loss of moisture and heightened sensitivity to external irritants, allergens, and microbes," Dr. Collins expounds.

What triggers eczema flare-ups?

I briefly mentioned some things that can trigger eczema flare-ups, but they're not all encompassing. Dr. Collins says, "Eczema flare-ups can be triggered by several factors, including environmental irritants (like certain fabrics, soaps, and fragrances), allergens (such as dust mites, pet dander, and pollen), stress, dry or cold weather, and even certain foods in some individuals."

If your dermatologist suspects you may be allergic to something you're eating, they may want you to take an allergy test. This is how I found out I was allergic to a ton of environmental factors, cats, and dogs! But why does this happen, you ask? "The skin’s barrier function is compromised in eczema-prone individuals, making it more reactive to these external and internal triggers," says Dr. Collins. So, it's rarely your fault when your skin gets triggered!

Dr. Woolery-Lloyd also says "emotional stress can exacerbate eczema symptoms" as well! This is usually my first sign that I'm super stressed or heading towards burnout!

How can someone with eczema care for their skin during cooler months?

My son has been seeing a dermatologist for the past couple of months, and she's made it clear that he needs to not only avoid certain factors (fragrances, itchy fabrics, etc), but she also let us know his skin actually requires we add other elements to his routine, too. Both Dr. Collins and Dr. Woolery-Lloyd want you to stay as moisturized as possible.

Dr. Collins says, "During cooler months, it’s essential to focus on hydrating and protecting the skin barrier." Her tips are to"

• Moisturize regularly with rich, fragrance-free creams or ointments.
• Use a humidifier indoors to combat dry air.
• Take lukewarm showers and avoid hot water, which can further dry out the skin.
• Wear soft, breathable fabrics to avoid irritation, especially when layering.
• Avoid long showers, as prolonged exposure to water can dehydrate the skin.

Which products and ingredients should people with eczema avoid?

Over the years, I've learned that anything that has artificial fragrances in them tends to trigger itchy and splotchy hives. Sometimes they're tiny clusters, but they can look like welts if my skin is super irritated. Dr. Collins says, "Individuals with eczema should avoid products with harsh fragrances, alcohol, sulfates, and synthetic dyes, as these can irritate the skin further." Also, sodium lauryl suflate (SLS) is also good to avoid because it "can strip the skin of its natural oils, exacerbating dryness," explains Dr. Collins. Sadly, she feels you shouldn't use popular "exfoliating ingredients" like salicylic acid or retinoids because they "can be too harsh for sensitive, eczema-prone skin."

A list of other things Dr. Woolery-Lloyd wants you to avoid are:

• Harsh surfactants - Harsh surfactants, such as sodium laureth sulfate (SLES), can strip the skin of its natural oils, leading to dryness and irritation.
• Alcohol - Alcohol can be drying to the skin, which can worsen eczema.
• Essential oils - Essential oils can be irritating to the skin and can trigger a flare-up of eczema.
• Alpha hydroxy acids (AHAs) and Beta hydroxy acids (BHAs) - Acids in skincare can be irritating to eczema-prone skin.
• Dyes - Dyes can sometimes irritate eczema-prone skin and can trigger a flare-up of eczema.

She encourages you to "read product labels carefully."

What are good eczema-friendly body washes?

Knowing this, both Dr. Collins and Dr. Woolery-Lloyd want you to use a body wash that's going to cleanse your skin instead of hurting it. "For eczema-prone skin, it’s best to choose gentle, fragrance-free body washes that are formulated to support the skin barrier," says Dr. Collins.