The Unexpected Lesson of Holiday Visits Home and Facing Old Hurts

It happens every year. Though I make every effort possible to mentally and emotionally prepare to go home for the holidays to visit my family, I can never seem to keep the promises I make myself. I won’t be defensive if someone makes a critical remark to me, I tell myself on the five-hour ride from Minneapolis to my hometown in Wisconsin. If someone says something hurtful, I’ll just ignore it, because I know who I am. My husband, admirably calm, assures me that things will go smoothly, but promises to stand up for me if someone says something upsetting. This trip home will be different, I tell myself. No one can hurt me. And then, someone does.

Like clockwork, we sit down at the dinner table, and within a few minutes, a well-meaning family member comments on how I’ve gained weight or my kids don’t sleep through the night. And I lose it. Unable to appear unaffected, I leave the table as politely as I can and take some deep breaths in the guest bedroom.“Ashley has always been so defensive,” I hear someone mutter under their breath before nonchalantly moving on to the next topic of conversation. I want to go home. I don’t like who I am here. No, that’s not it; I don’t like how I feel.

Don’t get me wrong: I can usually handle criticism. In fact, as a writer, I pretty much live at the receiving end of remarks about my work. And I believe that, in general, when we’re open to hearing hard things, we can become better versions of ourselves. It’s part of growing. But there’s something painful — triggering — about the people who are supposed to see past our flaws pointing them out at the dinner table (and not just because those things aren’t exactly polite or enjoyable dinner conversation). For me, the most troubling part of these interactions with relatives is feeling like they all see me as the person I was a decade ago — like I’ve been typecast as a version of myself I’ve outgrown, and, therefore, am expected to fail in the same ways. It’s almost like I mentally lose control and revert back to childhood.

I’ll admit it: 10 years ago, before I left home for college, I was defensive. But given the environment I grew up in, I probably didn’t have a choice. My mom (who died the year I graduated college) and I had always had a mercurial relationship, exacerbated by her addiction to prescription drugs and the emotional highs and lows that came with it. I remember my sophomore year of college she came to pick me up from college for Christmas, and, visibly strung out, spun off the icy highway. When I asked her calmly to let me out of the car, she lashed out at me, eventually dropping me off at a random rest stop in the middle of Wisconsin and leaving me there. Without knowing it, my mom programmed me to be hyper-vigilant. Because if she wasn’t going to protect me, I had to do it myself.

As a result of some of the things I experienced with my parents, I’ve dealt with some pretty serious anxiety and OCD. But over the past 10 years, I’ve worked really hard to overcome those things. Through a combination of medication, therapy, and healthy distance from my family of origin, I’ve emotionally matured to the point of being able to forgive my family and healthily separate myself from the ways they’ve hurt me. I’ve grown up and away from my childhood trauma, and along the way, I’ve built a family of my own. So why do I revert to this hard-hearted, defensive version of myself whenever I go home, like I’m a helpless kid again? Why, when I have the tools to remind myself how strong I am in the midst of anxiety, do I slide right back into it the second I step foot in a family member’s home?

Because trauma has a way of burrowing deep down inside of us and suddenly rearing its ugly head when we’d much rather sit and enjoy a peaceful family dinner. Because my body wants to protect me from any semblance of a threat it perceives, even if it’s my well-meaning grandma asking a simple question about how I parent my boys or why I wear my hair a certain way. Because the little girl inside of me, though she’s grown into a woman and a wife and a mother, remembers the pain of being asked to carry things that were too heavy for her.

I’m stronger now. I’ve done the emotional heavy lifting of working through the pain of my childhood, and it’s probably healthy I live a few hundred miles away. When I’m not immersed in the landscape in which I was abused, I can focus on moving forward into the person I was always meant to become — a woman weathered by, but not defined by, pain.

Returning home and being reminded of my past may always be an emotional trigger, but my response, however dramatic, isn’t a failure or a reversion back to my childhood. It’s a reminder that something fierce inside me wants to protect me from pain, which, when I think about it, is actually a kind of beautiful thing. So instead of spending the car ride rehearsing calm responses to criticism or wearing myself out imagining difficult conversations, I want to revel in the hard work I’ve done to become the person I am — a woman who wouldn’t be here without first having been the person she once was.

How do you deal with the emotional triggers that come with the holiday season? Connect with us @BritandCo.

(Photos via Win McNamee + iStock/Getty)

Thanksgiving dinner is a meal we look forward to all year long. The savory stuffing, the roasted turkey, the cranberry sauce — does it get any better than that? Well if you ask us, the best part are the leftovers! And we're talking about more scrumptious meals than the usual turkey sandwich. We've scoured the internet for different ways to put that surplus of food — trimmings included — to use. These 15 recipes will have you licking your chops.

Amazing Thanksgiving leftovers the entire family will won't mind eating until the first week of December

Butternut Bakery

Pumpkin Cupcakes

Don't throw away that pumpkin purée just yet! You can use it to make delicious pumpkin cupcakes the entire family will keep coming back for. Once you add in a little pumpkin pie spice, flour, baking soda, dark brown sugar, and more goodies, you'll have 12 sweet treats to munch after Thanksgiving.

P.S. You may want to have someone else bake this recipe a second time so you can have 24 cupcakes!

Cozy Cravings

Butternut Squash and Bacon Crostini

Your family will become a huge fan of crostinis once they taste this recipe. Between the butternut squash, ricotta cheese, and bacon, everyone will be eating sweet as well as savory mini sandwiches.

Munching with Mariyah

Curried Pumpkin Red Lentil Soup

Blend your leftover pumpkin and squash with coconut milk, red curry paste, ginger, and more veggies for the heartiest lentil soup you've ever tasted. Everyone will be looking to recreate this dish for a taste of lentils once they eat it, er, sip it.

Brit + Co

Gluten-Free Frittata Recipe

Bring your Thanksgiving turkey leftovers together with some cheese, peppers, and onions for a delicious frittata. You can eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner!

The Butter Half

Thanksgiving Leftover Pop Tarts

These savory pop tarts are filled with cranberry sauce, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and bits of tender turkey, then drizzled with gravy for a snack or meal that will knock your socks off. (via The Butter Half)

Foodess

Leftover Turkey Pot Pie

Put the sandwiches on hold, because this turkey pot pie is the *only* way to use those turkey leftovers to their greatest potential.

A Sweet Pea Chef

Leftover Turkey Salad With Cranberry Vinaigrette

Take your comfort food and turn it into something nutritious by topping salad with leftover turkey and a vinaigrette made with leftover cranberries.

Spices in My DNA

Thanksgiving Leftovers Everything Bagel Sandwich

This recipe stuffs your everything bagel with a poached egg, cranberry sauce, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and turkey.

The Seasoned Mom

Aunt Bee's Leftover Turkey Casserole

It's cozy casserole season, so this recipe is the perfect way to use up that leftover turkey by adding it to a pasta bake that is rich, creamy, and jam-packed with flavor.

Lively Table

Turkey and Wild Rice Soup

Nothing soothes the soul better than a steamy bowl of soup like this, filled to the brim with tender shredded turkey, nourishing veggies, and a generous dollop of Greek yogurt for extra smoothness.

The Cookie Recipe

Deep-Fried Loaded Mashed Potato Bites

If you don't know what to do with that heap of extra mashed potatoes, we've got you covered with these crispy potato, bacon, and cheese-filled bites of glory.

What Should I Make For...

Thanksgiving on a Roll

If you want ALL the carbs, this recipe sandwiches turkey and all the fixin's between a fresh roll and it. Is. Magical.

Whitney Bond

Turkey Fajita Rice Bowls

Kick things up a notch and put a healthy spin on your leftover turkey with these veggie-filled fajita rice bowls.

Yes to Yolks

Thanksgiving Leftovers Pierogi

This recipe smashes the traditional pierogi together with leftover Thanksgiving goodies for a fun and seasonal spin on a classic.

Jessica in the Kitcen

Vegetarian Meatloaf and Cranberry Thanksgiving Leftover Sandwich

Vegetarians can enjoy Thanksgiving to the max too, and if anything proves it, it's this stacked meatless 'wich that swaps the usual turkey for plant-based meatloaf.

Pickled Plum

Leftover Turkey Dinner Hash

These turkey-filled hash patties will make brunch fanatics swoon with their festive flavor and golden crisp exterior.

Bless Her Heart Y'all

Turkey Teriyaki Stir-Fry

This feast doesn't just give you a healthful meal after gorging on holiday eats, but it also serves as a weeknight wonder, clocking in at just 15 minutes from start to finish!

Chef de Home

Turkey Tetrazzini With Mushrooms

Putting that leftover turkey to use never looked so good with this creamy mushroom and pasta-filled tetrazzini.

Half Baked Harvest

Thanksgiving Leftovers Croque Madame

This Thanksgiving leftovers croque Madame sandwich is an excellent way to serve breakfast on Black Friday. After all, you'll need an extra boost from the fried eggs to get you through your mad dash at the mall!

Vikalinka

Butternut Squash Casserole

Not sure what to do with all the leftover butternut squash? Make a cheesy au gratin casserole!

Crowded Kitchen

Vegan Cornbread Stuffing

Don't throw away your cornbread after Thanksgiving! You can use what's leftover to bake vegan cornbread stuffing to give it a toasted yet flavorful taste.

Crowded Kitchen

Pumpkin Salad

This tasty and crunchy pumpkin salad is a great option to make if you're confused about what to do with your leftover pumpkins.

Averie Cooks

Caramel Apple Gingerbread Cookie Cups

Let's say you bought one too many apples for the apple pie you baked. Instead of lamenting over your 'mishap,' use what's leftover after Thanksgiving to make caramel apple gingerbread cookie cups!

Completely Delicious

Thanksgiving Leftovers Pizza

This delicious leftover pizza is a thoughtful option for anyone who swears they're tired of eating leftover Thanksgiving turkey after a couple of days.

Pink Owl Kitchen

Creamy Sweet Potato Soup

Chances are it'll be cold the week of Thanksgiving so use your leftover sweet potatoes to create this creamy soup. It's good for the soul!

For more Thanksgiving leftover recipes, follow us on Pinterest — and don't forget to subscribe to our newsletter!

This post has been updated.

There are so many items cluttering up our homes and lives, and if we're honest, sometimes asking for physical gifts feels like an unnecessary weight to add to the holiday season. All we really need this year is time with the people that our closest to us, and maybe the opportunity to experience something new.

If you're looking for out-of-the-ordinary gift ideas for your friends and family, look no further than these experience gifts. From one-of-a-kind adventures to super easy ideas that will fit into any budget, these experience gifts are sure to make anyone smile.

Experience gift ideas you haven't thought of for 2024:

Brit + Co

Take Them Ice Skating

Ice skating simply makes winter more magical. It also gives us a chance to live out our Ice Princess dreams – but that's beside the point. Even if you don't live somewhere that has an iconic rink like New York City's Rockefeller Center, you can still make it a whole evening with hot chocolate and cozy sweaters.

Buy Them Concert Tickets

Take your best friend or S.O. to their favorite artist's concert for an unforgettable evening. Not only do you get to hear some awesome music, but concerts are always an excuse to get dressed up in a crazy outfit and dance like no one is watching.

Blue Ox Studio

Visit An Aquarium

Something about walking around and looking at animals under the sea makes us feel extra calm, and is great for anyone who wanted to be a mermaid as a kid. Our favorites? Otters, beluga whales, and turtles, but we love regular old fish tanks, too. This is a great way to get a taste of summer while it's dang cold outside!

Give Them A B+C Classes Subscription

If your giftee loves to learn, then they'll get a kick out of a subscription to our online classes. There's something for every stage of life, with classes like painting and freelancing to learning how to combat imposter syndrome.

PNW Production

Go Hiking Together

This is one experience gift that is super easy and super affordable to pull off. You can hike in every state in the country (granted, your hikes might look different in the mountains than in a coastal town), plus you can pack a picnic of their favorite foods or grab takeout from their favorite local restaurant.

Pack A Beautiful Picnic

Speaking of picnics, they're on our list of favorite date ideas *and* an ideal way to spend any day. You can hire a picnic service (like this one for NY) to set up your table before you get there, but you can also go all-out yourself by packing a basket with their favorite foods, drinks, books, and flowers. If it's too cold (or it's pouring out!), set up your picnic indoors among some candles and a nostalgic movie.

Philipp

Book Some Travel

Travel is an experience gift that will rarely disappoint, especially if you're going to a dream destination. There are so many locations all over the world — big cities like London, historical homes like Biltmore, and even filming locations from your favorite TV shows and movies — this is always a good idea. You can also book AirBnB experiences of all kinds for wherever you choose to stay.

Gift A Language Class

With programs like Duolingo and Rosetta Stone, gaining access to other languages is easier than ever right now. It's never too late to pick up something new, whether or not you're living your Emily in Paris dreams. Bon voyage!

Don Hainzl

Ride A Hot Air Balloon

See the world from a totally new perspective by going up in a hot air balloon. You can take them at different times of day depending on the view that your giftee loves the most (we're always up for a sunrise adventure), and you can even book one that comes with wine.

Host A Photoshoot

This experience gift idea is totally up to interpretation. Whether your best friend or S.O. wants to be a model for a day with fun props and outfits, or your mom has been asking for a family photoshoot for the last few years, this is the perfect opportunity to gift a photoshoot! You can also turn this experience gift idea on its head and gift your family and friends a photography classthey can do from their home.

Pixabay

Bookstore

If your sibling, best friend, or S.O. loves books, take them to their favorite bookstore, buy them a coffee, and let them peruse the shelves for one (or more!) books that they want to get their hands on. This is a super simple idea that will certainly make them smile.

Cooking Class

If you've never taken a cooking or baking class before, then it's definitely time to add that to your list. Not only is it a fun activity that also rewards you with food, but it makes for a great experience gift, especially for recipients who love spending time in the kitchen.

SHVETS production

Dinner + Sailing

Rent your own sailing cruise for the evening to get a dining experience that's unlike any other. Eat dinner at sunset or wait until mid-morning for an extra-fun brunch. In addition to a gift idea, this also makes a great date idea. That's a win-win in our book.

Museum

Take your giftee to their favorite museum, and spend an entire day looking at their favorite paintings and sculptures, or reading up on scientific discoveries. This is one gift idea that's great for all ages, and since there are so many different museums across the country, you can have a different experience every time.

Photo By: Kaboompics.com

A Spa Day

As much as we love doing our own spa day at home, there's no denying that having someone take care of the self-care is really nice from time to time. If gifting a professional massage or facial is in your gift giving budget, just go for it. The relaxation will be well worth it, and your recipient will be thanking you for eternity.From personal experience, we definitely recommend gifting a massage from Hand & Stone, and a facial from Heyday

Escape Room

We're big fans of escape rooms, and we're convinced they're fun for anyone who wants to be a spy for an afternoon. It's great for a couple of people or for a whole group of friends, so you can get all your favorite people in on it. Plus not only is it fun, but having a time limit to solve a problem teach you about your communication styles very quickly.

Antoni Shkraba

Wine Tastings + Vineyard Tours

Take the wine lovers in your life to a nearby vineyard to experience the wine up close and personal with a wine tour. This is a great way to try multiple wines so you can figure out which one is your favorite.

Learn To Fly

Great for adrenaline junkies and adventure seekers, this experience gift idea takes you right up into the air. Learn to fly a plane or a helicopter over landscapes that you don't usually get to see from the air.

Let us know which experience gifts you'll be giving this year on Twitter and check out our email newsletter for more ideas.

This post has been updated with additional reporting by Meredith Holser.

Jennifer Lawrence announced she's pregnant, and we couldn't be happier for her! Though she and her husband, Cooke Maroney, aren't known for being in the public eye too much, it seems like this is one piece of news they don't mind sharing! Sorry, but we haven't been this excited about baby news since Suki Waterhouse and Robert Pattinson became parents — excuse us while we celebrate!

Here's everything we know about baby number 2 so far.

November 17: Jennifer Lawrence Glows On The Red Carpet Again

Jon Kopaloff/Getty Images

Not only is Jennifer Lawrence glowing during her second pregnancy, but she's also showing how stylish moms can be! According to WWD, she wore a gorgeous brown Bottega Veneta gown to the Governors Award event and looked like a goddess on the red carpet. The dress and its gold hardware complemented her skin beautifully along with her matching clutch!

It seems like maternity style gets better every year and it gives this mama hope that the world sees that life doesn't stop just because we have kiddos in tow!

Has Jennifer Lawrence debuted her baby bump yet?

Anna Webber/Getty Images for AFI

YES! Jennifer Lawrence's baby bump was the star of the Zurawski v Texas premiere (via PEOPLE). She wore a structured white dress with a black belt around her waist that accentuated her cute baby bump and appeared to be glowing.

According to Deadline, she's one of the executive producers of Zurawski v Texas, a documentary that sheds light on the "restrictive abortion laws" that put women's lives in danger in Texas. Alongside producers Hilary and Chelsea Clinton, Jennifer's involvement in the documentary as a pregnant woman makes a pivotal statement during a time where mothers' mortalities aren't always considered during their pregnancies.

When did Jennifer Lawrence announce her second pregnancy?

Gareth Cattermole/Getty Images for BFI

Leave it to Vogue to get the exclusive scoop about Jennifer being pregnant again! According to the publication, an official "representative for the actor confirmed" the news yesterday, October 20. So exciting!

When is Jennifer Lawrence's second baby due?

Kevin Mazur

Jennifer Lawrence hasn't announced her due date yet, so we can't be quite sure! However, if she's out of her first trimester, Jennifer could have her baby around April 2025!

What have Jennifer Lawrence and Cooke Maroney said about their family?

John Phillips/Getty Images for Sony Pictures

It seems Jennifer Lawrence and Cooke Maroney were open to the idea of having another baby as recently as this summer! An unknown source told Entertainment Tonight, "Jennifer and Cooke are doing very well and are super in love. They make each other laugh and have the best time parenting together. They would love to have another kid and expand their family."

When was Jennifer Lawrence's first baby born?

Sebastian Reuter/Getty Images for Sony Pictures

Jennifer and Cooke's firstborn son, Cy, was born February 2022, which means he's almost three years old!

The actress later explored her feeling about becoming a mom in another Vogueinterview. "It’s so scary to talk about motherhood. Only because it’s so different for everybody. If I say, It was amazing from the start, some people will think, 'It wasn’t amazing for me at first,' and feel bad. Fortunately I have so many girlfriends who were honest. Who were like, It’s scary," she said.

What has Jennifer Lawrence said about being a mom?

Amy Sussman/Getty Images

It seems like Jennifer found her stride because she's apparently embraced being a mom. She hasn't said anything recently, but she did speak with Entertainment Tonight last year during the promotion of No Hard Feelings about her parenting habits. "Of course, the urge to stop anything from ever hurting or negatively affecting your baby..." she said.

However, co-star Andrew Barth Feldman had nothing but positive words to share about Jennifer as a mom. "Jen is an amazing mother, for real. That was kind of one of the incredible things about doing this with you is seeing just how much of a priority being a mother is for you and how deeply you care about that over everything," he said.

We can't wait to see how Jennifer's second pregnancy develops and hope she's willing to give us a little sneak peek of how she's prepping to have two young kids!

Follow us on Facebook to stay tuned for updates!

Did you know how common eczema really is? According to the National Eczema Association, "more than 31 million people" are living with this condition — including everyone in my household. If you've been dealing with flare-ups since childhood, you know how irksome it can be to find products that avoid flagging down our body's internal inflammation guide. Anything from extreme temperatures to itchy fabric can make our bodies say, "Attack the part of the body that's in contact with the intruder!" It can be something super small that turns into a fiasco, but we're not condemned to suffer forever.

I've been using the best body wash for eczema all yearDove's Soothing Relief Body Wash — and I can't wait to dish about it! But, I thought it would be helpful to learn more about the condition and why certain things make it go haywire. Board-certified dermatologists Dr. Heather Woolery-Lloyd and Dr. Kristina Collins were kind enough to share informative answers about eczema, including what they think you should be using if you're tired of not knowing what to use!

  • Dr. Woolery-Lloyd is an internationally recognized dermatology and wellness expert who serves as Director of the Skin of Color Division for the University of Miami Department of Dermatology.
  • Dr. Collins specializes in Mohs micrographic surgery, as well as surgical and cosmetic surgery, having earning her M.D. as valedictorian from Vanderbilt University.

Check out the best body wash for eczema here:

  1. Dove Soothing Relief Body Wash
  2. Vanicream Gentle Body Wash
  3. Aveeno Skin Relief Body Wash
  4. Cetaphil Pro Dry Skin Soothing Wash
  5. CeraVe Soothing Body Wash
  6. Naturium The Glow Getter Multi-Oil Body Wash
  7. Kopari Hydrating Body Wash

The Best Body Wash For Eczema-Prone Skin

Target

This fragrance-free body wash stays in my shower not only because it's doesn't have pesky (and irritating) perfumes, but it's also super soothing. I feel like I'm at a spa each time I use it, and I've definitely noticed my skin isn't dry when I get out of the shower. It has a 5% nourishing serum in it along with colloidal oatmeal and was co-created by dermatologists who get it. The best part is that it not only does my skin look better, but I haven't experienced much body acne with it either. Plus, Amazon's customers less likely to return it!

Prior to using this, I was an avid Bath & Body Works body wash user. Before you throw tomatoes at me, I didn't know how much they were affecting my skin until I started doing more research in college. Once I learned better, I stopped using them and haven't looked back.

Another alternative to this is something Dr. Woolery-Lloyd suggests using — Dove's Sensitive Skin Body Wash. I used to use it prior to falling in love with Soothing Relief formula because it's hypoallergenic and equally moisturizing. It's just a little creamier!

Customer Reviews For Dove's Soothing Relief Body Wash

Target

Some of the top reviews on Amazon for this body wash are:

  • "I absolutely love this wonderful, silky, smooth, make you feel so sexy type of body wash! I have eczema & to find a body wash that works for me is saying A LOT! For having sensitive skin, I love how this is fragrance free, my skin is smooth & soft, not dry or dried out, not itchy, & great for after shaving, no razor bumps or redness!"
  • "This seems to have really improved my skin. It's great for sensitive skin."
  • "This has NO SCENT. Not even a weird “unscented” scent- you other itchy folk know what I’m talking about.
    Creamy but lathers like a dream and you only need like two pumps! Rinses off easily. Skin doesn’t feel dry or tight or… itchy! Like, at all! I will be ordering this over and over!"
  • "I have uber sensitive skin and have to be very careful in which products I use. This product feels really nice on my skin and has a positive, moisturizing and calming effect. I would highly recommend."

Shop The Best Body Wash For Eczema

Amazon

Dove Soothing Relief Body Wash

Other Great Body Washes For Eczema:

Amazon

Vanicream Gentle Body Wash

Dr. Woolery-Lloyd and Dr. Collins both recommend this body wash for those who have eczema: "It's free of dyes, fragrance, lanolin, and other common irritants.This product helps maintain moisture and reduce irritation, making it suitable for regular use," says Dr. Collins.

Amazon

Aveeno Skin Relief Body Wash

Dr. Collins loves Aveeno's Skin Relief Body Wash because it "contains colloidal oatmeal, which is soothing and helps relieve itching."

Amazon

Cetaphil Pro Dry Skin Soothing Wash

"It's soap-free, fragrance-free, and designed for sensitive skin," says Dr. Collins.

More Eczema-Friendly Body Wash Recommendations

Amazon

CeraVe Soothing Body Wash

This body wash has more of an oil consistency because of the Omega Oils found in it. They help to add moisture back to dry skin while Niacinamide helps soothe it if you've been experiencing irritation.

Amazon

Naturium The Glow Getter Multi-Oil Body Wash

This hydrating body wash may start off as an oil, but it quickly forms into a rich, moisturizing lather that we love. Although it's not specifically designed for eczema-prone skin, but the good news is that it works for everyone. It has over 50% glycerin and phyto lipids in to help "maintain healthy skin barrier and acid mantle" so you'll enjoy something luxurious for only $16!

Amazon

Kopari Hydrating Body Wash

This hydrating body wash has moisturizing coconut water and sea kelp in it, making it the vegan option you'll be glad you tried. It also has aloe vera juice in it which helps maintain the skin's collagen.

What is eczema?

Kaboompics.com

Eczema isn't necessarily a secret, but not everyone knows how it's actually defined or characterized. Both Dr. Woolery-Lloyd and Dr. Collins agree that eczema is also referred to as atopic dermatitis. Dr. Collins says, "It's a chronic skin condition characterized by inflamed, itchy, and often red or discolored patches on the skin. It can affect people of all ages but is commonly seen in children." The Asthma & Allergy Network reports "15-20% of children globally" have it which seems to coincide with the CDC discovering "nearly 1 in 5 children have a seasonal allergy." Dr. Woolery-Lloyd adds, "It tends to run in families." This makes sense because my mom had eczema, passed it on to me, and now my son has it!

She also says, "People with mild eczema may experience persistent dryness and itchiness, while more severe cases can lead to painful, cracked, and even bleeding skin." While it's not central to one location, Dr. Woolery-Lloyd says eczema commonly shows up "inside of the elbows, behind the knees, and the face."

Some cases of eczema differs from others, but it can become severe. The reason it exists in the body is because of "a dysfunction in the skin barrier" that leads to "an increased loss of moisture and heightened sensitivity to external irritants, allergens, and microbes," Dr. Collins expounds.

What triggers eczema flare-ups?

Keira Burton

I briefly mentioned some things that can trigger eczema flare-ups, but they're not all encompassing. Dr. Collins says, "Eczema flare-ups can be triggered by several factors, including environmental irritants (like certain fabrics, soaps, and fragrances), allergens (such as dust mites, pet dander, and pollen), stress, dry or cold weather, and even certain foods in some individuals."

If your dermatologist suspects you may be allergic to something you're eating, they may want you to take an allergy test. This is how I found out I was allergic to a ton of environmental factors, cats, and dogs! But why does this happen, you ask? "The skin’s barrier function is compromised in eczema-prone individuals, making it more reactive to these external and internal triggers," says Dr. Collins. So, it's rarely your fault when your skin gets triggered!

Dr. Woolery-Lloyd also says "emotional stress can exacerbate eczema symptoms" as well! This is usually my first sign that I'm super stressed or heading towards burnout!

How can someone with eczema care for their skin during cooler months?

Kaboompics.com

My son has been seeing a dermatologist for the past couple of months, and she's made it clear that he needs to not only avoid certain factors (fragrances, itchy fabrics, etc), but she also let us know his skin actually requires we add other elements to his routine, too. Both Dr. Collins and Dr. Woolery-Lloyd want you to stay as moisturized as possible.

Dr. Collins says, "During cooler months, it’s essential to focus on hydrating and protecting the skin barrier." Her tips are to"

  • Moisturize regularly with rich, fragrance-free creams or ointments.
  • Use a humidifier indoors to combat dry air.
  • Take lukewarm showers and avoid hot water, which can further dry out the skin.
  • Wear soft, breathable fabrics to avoid irritation, especially when layering.
  • Avoid long showers, as prolonged exposure to water can dehydrate the skin.
Dr. Woolery-Lloyd echoes her sentiments. "In the winter, people with eczema should consider switching to a more hydrating moisturizer to combat dry winter skin and prevent an eczema flare. Reapplication of the moisturizer is also important. This is especially important for the hands since taking gloves on and off on windy winter days can cause the hands to be especially vulnerable to dryness and eczema."
In other words, keep your moisturizer handy because you never know when you'll need to reapply it throughout the day!

Which products and ingredients should people with eczema avoid?

Bruno Cervera

Over the years, I've learned that anything that has artificial fragrances in them tends to trigger itchy and splotchy hives. Sometimes they're tiny clusters, but they can look like welts if my skin is super irritated. Dr. Collins says, "Individuals with eczema should avoid products with harsh fragrances, alcohol, sulfates, and synthetic dyes, as these can irritate the skin further." Also, sodium lauryl suflate (SLS) is also good to avoid because it "can strip the skin of its natural oils, exacerbating dryness," explains Dr. Collins. Sadly, she feels you shouldn't use popular "exfoliating ingredients" like salicylic acid or retinoids because they "can be too harsh for sensitive, eczema-prone skin."

A list of other things Dr. Woolery-Lloyd wants you to avoid are:

  • Harsh surfactants - Harsh surfactants, such as sodium laureth sulfate (SLES), can strip the skin of its natural oils, leading to dryness and irritation.
  • Alcohol - Alcohol can be drying to the skin, which can worsen eczema.
  • Essential oils - Essential oils can be irritating to the skin and can trigger a flare-up of eczema.
  • Alpha hydroxy acids (AHAs) and Beta hydroxy acids (BHAs) - Acids in skincare can be irritating to eczema-prone skin.
  • Dyes - Dyes can sometimes irritate eczema-prone skin and can trigger a flare-up of eczema.

She encourages you to "read product labels carefully."

What are good eczema-friendly body washes?

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With the holidays now approaching almost eerily quickly, you might already be feeling slightly uneasy about the family stresses that are bound to be on your plate (along with delicious Christmas cookies, of course). Spending a lot of time face-to-face with family can dig up old arguments or squabbles that everyone may have forgotten during the rest of the year.

Learn the 8 best ways to support your friend while they're in the middle of family drama

You’re not the only one dealing with the drama, though, and while your own family issues might feel somewhat out of your control, there might be more you can do to take the edge off the stress that your friends are feeling in anticipation of holiday gatherings. Keep scrolling for eight expert tips for how to best offer support to your most stress-ridden BFFs.

1. Listen without judging if your friend reveals an ongoing argument about a family will

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Being a good listener is one of the most basic — and yet most important — things you can do as a friend 365 days of the year, but when tensions run high near the holidays, those listening skills become all the more crucial. You might even consider resisting the urge to speak, like, at all. “Be a good listener and don’t give advice,” licensed marriage and family therapist Katie Ziskind says. “Supporting someone doesn’t mean that you have to fix their problem. Instead, truly being supportive means giving a hug when someone is crying and being a caring friend.”

2. Prep your pal to expect drama if your uncle's invited his new girlfriend and ex to dinner

Rather than reassuring your friend that things at family celebrations may not be as bad as they fear, trust what they know about the situation and help them wrap their head around what’s to come. This should minimize the stress for them in the long run. “If you expect it and it happens, situation normal,” certified life coach Susan Golicic tells us. “If you expect it and it doesn’t, well, then, a bonus!”

3. Help your bestie make a plan in case their fight-or-flight mode gets triggered

Going into any situation with a plan almost always feels better than going in unprepared. Per writer, speaker, and healing expert Alisa Zipursky, a helpful plan might include specific check-in times, a code word that indicates your friend needs extra support, and ideas for creating healthy boundaries with family members who make them feel especially triggered. “The idea is to make asking for help as easy as possible,” Zipursky says. “Making sure a proactive plan is in place well before someone enters the stressful situation can help relieve some of the anticipatory anxiety.”

4. Check in often by sending your friend periodic texts 

Licensed counselor Maria Inoa recommends that you prioritize regular touch-base texts over the course of whatever event is causing your friend the most stress. It’s not about solving the conflicts or taking away their pain. Instead, you can focus on offering gentle reminders that you are thinking of them and are available if they need you.

5. Create a new tradition that revolves around you and and your bestie's favorite Christmas movies

If your friend’s family holiday celebrations don’t exactly inspire positive feelings about the occasion, why not help them establish some better associations? Licensed clinical professional counselor Anna Poss suggests planning a “low-stress, fun way to celebrate with each other before or after the actual holiday.” Get a seasonal movie night or cookie swap on the calendar before everyone leaves town to hang with family. Those cozy vibes may help dull the negative, anxious feelings.

6. Write down words of affirmations for them to look at

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Grab some pretty stationery and put your love and support on paper for your BFF. “In the note, remind her how strong, courageous, and capable she is,” licensed psychotherapist and life coach Diane Petrella says. “Let her know how much you love and admire her and how grateful you are for her friendship. Write whatever you think your friend needs to hear to feel supported, grounded, and loved.” Remind her to hide the note in her pocket or bag so she can read it whenever she needs a little extra TLC over the course of the holidays. You can even go one step further and send them home with a care package, per therapistShannon Thomas.

7. Invite your friend to your family celebration

If things have gotten so bad with your bestie’s family that she wants to steer clear of their celebrations entirely, you may want to invite her to join you and your crew instead. Even if she opts to decline your invitation, it will mean a lot to her to know that she has choices. If your friend does take you up on the offer, Mountainside Treatment Center‘s family wellness manager Tina Muller recommends that you try to incorporate some of her favorite traditions into your holiday schedule.

8. Keep your phone nearby if your friend needs to talk about everything that happened

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“Before an event with possible family issues even happens, schedule a time not long after to see the friend,” marriage and family therapist Sarah Epstein suggests. “Now you’ve become the light at the end of the tunnel for them.” Be prepared to be a listening ear over dinner or a workout session so your pal can vent about everything that’s gone on and (hopefully) be ready to move on from there.

How do you and your pals support each other through the not-so-fun parts of the holidays? Tweet us @BritandCo.

(Photo via Getty)