Soon, You’ll Have to Be Over 18 to Use Tinder

Why do people want to share their relationship status with others?

My sister used to ask me this question when I was in my 20's, and I always looked at her like she had two heads growing. I couldn't fathom the idea that people wouldn't want to talk about their relationship online because it felt like everyone was doing it. I mean, a study from Pew Research Center shows 8 in 10 people on social media see relationship posts, so it clearly wasn't outrageous to think it was normal.

But, that still doesn't answer why people are drawn to sharing cute little updates about their partner or relationship. Luckily, Bray has a good indication of what drives people to give others a sneak peek into their lives. "People share their relationship status for all kinds of reasons. Some want to mark their territory — nothing says 'back off' quite like a cute couple selfie! Others are just excited and proud of their partner and want to share the joy," she says. That stems from people's "need for a sense of belonging or to receive positive reinforcement from others," she adds.

But, this doesn't necessarily make people weird. It's just human nature that makes us act the way we do. "We as humans are just hard wired to seek connection, and broadcasting our connections, makes us feel more accepted and secure in our social lives."

Should couples have conversations about their social media expectations?

I don't care how hot you think someone is, you're going to have to learn how to communicate with them. It's true even if your chemistry is off-the-charts because healthy relationships don't fall out of the sky. They're built via honesty, respect, forgiveness, and other important factors.

Before assuming your partner is or isn't okay with you posting about your relationship, Bray is 100% convinced you should talk things through. "Social media is still in the wild west of relationship etiquette, and without discussions, assumptions about 'correct' behavior can run wild," she hints. For example, you could be happily posting about your partner only for someone to point out that they're not following you on social media.

"Some people are super private, while others practically live their lives online. Misunderstandings happen when expectations aren't laid out so talking about it can prevent messiness in the long run," Bray observes.

If two people have gone on a couple of dates, should one of them be upset if the other isn't publicly talking about them?

So, you swiped right on Tinder or Bumble, and you had a few amazing dates with one of your matches. Before you start publicly declaring your love for them, Bray wants you to reconsider. "Hold on! It's just a few dates! Let’s pump the brakes. The early stages of dating is not the time to make grand social declarations," she declares. As someone who tried to 'date' people from Tinder, those first few dates aren't a guarantee that you've found the love of your life.

"Posting someone on social media can feel like a big step to some people so expecting that level of public commitment too soon might be too much pressure. If you’re already thinking, 'Why haven’t they posted about me yet?' after two dates, it might be a good time to check in with yourself about where those expectations are coming from," advises Bray.

I've recovered from my former, "Is he the one" obsession so also take it from me — see where things go first and then refer back to question #2!

Is it a red flag if someone doesn't post their partner on social media?

It would be so much fun if we personally had Dustin Poynter, the flag guy, from TikTok helping point us in the right direction — but this is one of those things that errs on the subjective side. Though Bray doesn't feel it's necessarily healthier to keep your relationship private, she thinks "context matters." "Some people are just more private or feel weird about social media in general," she says.

But, that doesn't mean certain behaviors don't warrant a few eyebrow raises. She notes," If someone is super active on social—like posting about their dog’s morning routine and every cupcake they’ve ever had—but doesn't ever mention their partner, it could create a need for a deeper conversation." Before you feel justified about grilling your partner — as satisfactory as that may feel — take a second to breathe.

Bray would prefer you work to understand "why they don't post, rather than assuming your partner is keep you a secret." If you discover the latter to be true, follow your instincts and let that person go because you don't deserve that!

Do you think it's healthier for couples to keep certain aspects of their relationship private?

Everyone has a different view of what makes a romantic relationship healthy, so this is one of those things Bray says, "absolutely depends on the couple" because some "genuinely enjoy sharing their lives online." You've probably seen your share of couples who make cute content together whether they're married or not. I'd be lying if I said I don't specifically keep up with a few whose content makes me smile.

But, other couples may not be interested in sharing their relationship online because they "want to be private and keep the relationship free from the judgements or opinions of others," according to Bray. That's not to say they have something to hide, though. Instead, think of it as a personal preference.

"As long as both partners are on the same page and it’s not a source of tension, it’s all about finding the balance that works for them. If it starts to feel like a performance for likes rather than genuine connection, though, that’s where it can become problematic," Bray reminds.

How can someone bring up their partner's posting habits without sounding accusatory?

You may feel eager about posting about your partner while they're less enthusiastic and this could make you feel upset. It's easy to jump to conclusions when you're already upset, but Bray feels "tone is everything." Ironically, she suggests something I've heard in therapy sessions and that's "to be curious, not confrontational." Hopefully this stopped you in your tracks if you were ready to give your partner a piece of your mind.

"You can say something like, 'Hey, I’ve noticed we haven’t shared much about each other on social media? What’s your take on sharing stuff about us online?' It’s important to frame it as a mutual exploration of rather than a demand for a public declaration," Bray points out.

What would you tell someone who wants to emulate couples who consistently post content together?

We've all seen couples who we think have the cutest relationship, even though we've never met them before. As much as you may admire a couple, Bray thinks it's a "slipper slope" if you want to try to recreate their online moments. "I’d encourage someone to focus more on what makes their own relationship feel fulfilling, rather than chasing #couplesgoals," she encourages.

However, this isn't a sign that you're not supposed to ever share anything about your partner or relationship! "If posting together feels fun and real, go for it! But if it starts feeling like a performance or that you are in competition with other couples, it's probably good to take a step back," she warns.

Also, keep in mind that social media doesn't show you every single moment of couples' lives so don't worry about trying to look picture perfect based on a 30 second to 30 minute video.

1. Actually Use Your Planner In 2025

We're not buying pretty planners just so they can collect dust on our desks or coffee tables anymore. Corry Frazier and Melissa Pepin want you to get serious because they feel "it starts with planning." They don't mean the kind you eventually flake on either.

"Effective planning is key to maintaining balance and reducing burnout. Whether you're mapping out tasks, meetings, or events, dedicated time for preparation ensures focus and reduces stress," they say. In other words, "the more intentional you are in planning, the more productive you'll be," according to them.

Ever since I've been blocking out my tasks by hour in planner, I've been able to get more done without feeling overwhelmed by splitting my time between writing and being in mommy mode. Frazier and Pepin suggest that you "set weekly planning sessions" that consist of "30-60 minutes each weekend to map out your upcoming week."

This eventually "reduces decision fatigue, fosters a sense of control, and helps you start Monday with clarity and purpose," they add. Yes, this is a sign that you'll be breaking up with the dreaded 'Sunday scaries' if you follow their advice. "You'll feel proactive and grounded rather than reacting to the week as it unfolds," they agree.

2. Embrace A "Fake Commute" When Working From Home

One of Kayla Baum's tips is to switch up your routine if you're a remote worker. Rolling out of the bed at the last minute before logging on for work sounds appealing until you realize you're uninspired by your days. But, what is a "fake commute?"

"It mimics the structure of a traditional commute to establish a boundary between work and personal life. This could mean taking a walk around the block, doing a 10-minute guided meditation, or even just changing clothes at the end of the day," Baum mentions.

Based on her experience, she's found that "it works because it provides a psychological buffer, helping to separate work and home life." She feels it's "crucial for positive mental health and boosting productivity at work (and at home)."

You can also create a separate work space that's not in your bedroom to get work done! That's helped me tremendously so I'm not sleeping and working in the same area.

3. Focus On High-Impact Tasks

Similar to planning your work days as best as you can, Frazier and Pepin want you to "prioritize the tasks that align with your goals." To minimize distractions, they want you to ask yourself:

• What is the most effective use of my time right now?

4. Stop Making Daily Decisions Hard

Tasks like your morning routine or figuring out what you'll eat don't have to take up a chunk of your time anymore. "Use productivity hacks, such as pre-planning meals or laying out weekly outfits," suggest Frazier and Pepin. They feel that "small routines like this eliminate unnecessary choices" to "make mornings smoother."

According to them, it's "especially helpful for families juggling multiple schedules." I couldn't agree more because I've spent so many frazzled mornings trying to make decisions about what myself and my toddler would wear or eat instead of planning them. With the help of my fiancé, we've cut so much time in half by being prepared ahead of time instead of 'winging it' before work.

5. Understand What Your Boundaries Are And Set Them

Worried that you'll be considered 'mean' if you tell your manager or coworkers what your boundaries are at work? Depending on your environment, it's 100% understandable. However, you're human and there's no reason you should be over-performing to your detriment. Frazier and Pepin say, "Set boundaries and communicate clearly. Adopt Brené Brown's mantra: 'To be clear is to be kind.'"

They encourage you to not only "be upfront about your schedule to manage others' expectations," but it's also so you can "avoid over-commitment." Say it with me: I will not make false promises just to appease others. Why?

Frazier and Pepin say, "Don't be afraid to say no to side projects or anything that doesn't align with your goals."

6. Ignore Emails Sent After Your Work Hours

I've been guilty of sending an email after work to acknowledge that I saw something, but I never expect other people to feel obligated to respond until the next business day. On the flip side, I've felt pressured to answer something that feels timely and I've gone to sleep thinking about the sender's potential follow-up email.

"Just because a coworker chooses to work late at night doesn't mean you must answer. One helpful trick is to include your working days and hours in your signature, explaining that responses may be delayed outside of those times," Frazier and Pepin say. They even have a prompt you can use if you're not sure what to type:

• "My working hours are [Your Working Hours, e.g., 9 AM - 4 PM ET]. Please note that these may differ from your local time zone. I appreciate your understanding and will respond to emails during my working hours."

I can't wait to start utilizing this...for research purposes only 👀.

7. Please, log off from work when it's time.

Unless you're scheduled to work late, take the time to log off from work and not think about it until the next day. Baum says, "Commit to fully logging off once the workday ends—no 'quick email replies' or sneaking in work over the weekend." I'm eyeing you Ms. "I just need to send a quick email" while you're on vacation or spending time with your significant other.

Baum says creating this separation works because "fully disconnecting allows your mind to reset and recharge" which ends up "making you more efficient, creative, and focused during actual work hours." According to her, you'll eventually "improve personal well-being" and "enhance long-term work performance."

As soon as my work day is over, I make a beeline for the shower so I can decompress. After that, I take my time with my skincare routine and keep my phone out of reach so I'm not tempted to look at anything work-related. I'm not always successful, but I've noticed a difference in my mood since making this shift.

8. Speak Up When You're Feeling Overwhelmed

And if you're 100% drained because you've been trying to tackle work tasks during and after hours, Frazier and Pepin want you to speak up. "If you're feeling overwhelmed with your workload, approach your manager with honesty and a focus on solutions," they suggest. Here's another prompt of theirs you can use:

• "I've been noticing that my workload has extended beyond regular hours, and maintaining balance is becoming challenging. Could we discuss prioritizing tasks or adjusting expectations to ensure I can deliver quality work without compromising my well-being?"