How to Break Out of Your Mental Comfort Zone

1. If you don't cook often, surprise your spouse with their favorite dinner recipe.

Saiter says you or your spouse "can make time for small gestures of kindness and thoughtfulness, like cooking" each other's "favorite meal." We don't know everything, but we're aware that home-cooked meals mean a lot to some people. Eating out is fun, but seeing someone put time and effort into a meal for you feels more personal.

2. Allow your partner to sleep in while you handle bank runs, grocery shopping, and other chores.

One of the other ways to each other's heart is "...running errands to show love and appreciation," according to Saiter. This can look like letting your partner rest while you handle early morning visits to the bank or grocery store before traffic picks up on the weekend.

Setting aside time for shared hobbies or interests can also be incredibly rejuvenating. For instance, taking a class together, whether it’s cooking, dancing, or photography, can help in discovering new aspects of each other and create fun, shared memories.

3. Sign up for a dance or photography class together.

If you've been thinking about taking a cooking, wine, dance, or photography class together, now's the time to do so! Saiter says, "Setting aside time for shared hobbies or interests can also be incredibly rejuvenating." Before you roll your eyes because you think you and your spouse don't have anything in common anymore, take a step back to remember what it was like when you were dating.

You probably went on different dates like going to the bowling alley, visiting a pumpkin patch, or even taking a candle class together for fun. Doing this again "can help in discovering new aspects of each other and create fun, shared memories," according to Saiter.

4. Verbally share why you're grateful for each other.

Yes, it's time for you and your spouse to remember why you chose to exchange vows. "...practicing gratitude by regularly expressing appreciation for each other's qualities and contributions can strengthen the emotional bond and bring back the warmth and closeness," Saiter says.

You can tell your partner you appreciate the times they've sensed something was wrong and knew just what to say to cheer you up. Also, you could simply thank them for remembering to take out the trash without you having to ask.

There's no rulebook that says expressing thanks for each other has to be elaborate and drawn out. It's just something to help you remember how much you see each other.

5. Set aside time to hold hands or cuddle everyday.

If you or your spouse are experiencing a drop in your libido, physical intimacy be hard to navigate. Saiter says, "Overcoming a 'dry spell' requires open communication and a willingness to explore underlying issues." As difficult as it may be, don't be afraid to express concerns because "there are many feelings and unsaid wants underneath the 'dry spell,'" he adds.

Doing something as simple as "prioritizing physical, non-sexual touch" is one way way Saiter believes can help you and your spouse become close again. You do things like "holding hands, cuddling, or sharing a long hug," to add a little spark back to what you had.

6. Pencil in date nights.

How many times have your or spouse asked, "Who has time for date night?" Wait, we don't want to know because chances are one of you have said it one too many times to count. Saiter says, "Planning regular date nights or weekends away can also help break the routine and create a sense of adventure in the relationship."

Communicating and being open to trying new things in the bedroom, like role-playing, using toys, or trying new positions, can also reignite the spark and make things exciting again.

You can also try revisiting places or activities that were significant earlier in your relationship to evoke nostalgic, passionate feelings and remind you both of your deep connection.

7. Let your adventurous side show in the bedroom.

If one of you are comfortable initiating sex again, let your fun side call the shots. However, Saiter wants to make sure you're "communicating" before surprising your spouse. "...being open to trying new things in the bedroom, like role-playing, using toys, or trying new positions" is one of the ways he thinks you can reconnect behind closed doors. It's all about finding safe ways to "reignite the spark and make things exciting again," he shares!

8. Revisit the place you fell in love with your spouse.

If you remember the exact time and place you knew your spouse was the one, Saiter suggests revisiting it to "evoke nostalgic, passionate feelings and remind you both of your deep connection." Whether it was at your local pizza parlor, the park, or even at a place like Disney World, find your why again.

My spouse and I are doing great after incorporating these tips, but how can we stay consistent?

Saiter says, "Life gets busy, but it’s crucial to carve out time for each other. Treat it like any other important appointment—block off time in your schedule for date nights, family dinners, or just time relaxing together." Maybe you think it should sound so simple, but it is. Like Saiter says, you have to prioritize your marriage just like you do everything and everyone else.

Ways to help you do so are limiting "distractions by putting away phones and other devices" to "talk about your dreams, unwind together or simply enjoy each other's company," he adds. Still struggling?

"It might also be helpful to look over your daily responsibilities together to make sure the workload at home is shared fairly. Building a strong and fulfilling relationship takes effort and commitment. By prioritizing your partner, communicating openly, and making time for each other, you can strengthen your bond and reignite the spark," Saiter suggests.

Is Taylor Swift friends with Blake Lively's kids?

Yes, Taylor Swift loves Blake Lively's kids! The family has shown up to the Eras Tour multiple times, and most recently supported the popstar at her concert in New Orleans, Louisiana. Blake and Ryan were joined by oldest daughter James (who looked amazing in a Reputation-inspired 'fit), and I can't believe how much James and Blake look alike! She's truly her mini-me! At the Philadelphia show of the Eras Tour, which Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively attended, Taylor said hello from the stage.

One funny detail about Ryan Reynolds' kids that I love is when he mentioned the girls finally realized Taylor Swift was a popstar. "I think what's most exciting for them is that for the longest time they just thought Taylor's just like an aunt, like a friend of Mommy and Daddy that's very, very close, almost family," he tellsThe Jess Cagle Show. "And then they went to a concert one day and were like, 'Ohhhhh, this isn't a hobby.'"

For Super Bowl Sunday in 2024, Blake Lively joined Taylor Swift to support beau (and KC Chiefs tight end) Travis Kelce. "Last week I left my kids for the first time ever," she says on Instagram. "I took pictures upside down and had no clue. I treated a friendship bracelet like a Flat Stanley for my husband like I didn’t realize it wasn’t ‘07. I borrowed more jewelry than the skeleton in the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. And I went clubbing. Now I know what my episode of TheTwilight Zone would look like."

How do Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively prioritize their kids?

At the end of September, Ryan Reynolds revealed how different parenting seems to be now than when he was a kid. "Parents today are so different. We're so soft," he said at HubSpot’s INBOUND tech conference (via People). "I don't yell. I grew up with like — it was nuts, it was an improvised militia.”

“Now it's like, I can go look at all my resources for parenting and remind myself how to be perfectly compassionate,” he continued. "Something I love about [conflict resolution], and I know this is not very fancy, but what I love about it is that you can meet somebody where they are, and you don't have to be right or wrong...You can disagree and still connect."

Blake Lively recently joined an episode of her Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants' costar Amber Tamblyn's Further Adoand revealed the one unbreakable rule she made with Ryan Reynolds.

“When Ryan and I got together, we made a rule not to work at the same time,” she says. “So that we could always prioritize our personal life...That takes working really hard when we're not. Just like financial planning and sustaining that; it takes balance.”

I love that Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds are serious about their family life, and that they have identified what works for them and are sticking with it.

What is the name of Blake Lively's 4th baby?

Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds' fourth baby is named Olin, which he revealed during the July 22 premiere of Deadpool & Wolverine!

Before Ryan chose to reveal the name, he appeared on the Today show and made a cheeky joke about it after the hosts urged him to spill the beans. He said, "We always wait for Taylor to tell us what the child's name will be. We'll say this: we're still waiting."

What are Blake Lively kids ages?

Blake Lively's kids are all under 10. James is 9 (turning 10 on December 16), Inez is 7 (turning 8 on September 30), Betty is 4 (turning 5 on October 4), and Olin turned 1 in February.

What gender is Ryan and Blake's fourth child?

On July 26, Ryan Reynolds confirmed that he and Blake Lively's fourth baby, born in February 2023, is a boy in an Instagram video supporting mental health charity Walking 4 Hope. Speaking with founder John Bell, who struggled with suicidal ideation after the 2020 loss of his son Jake, Reynolds says, “I want to share with you that I, too, have a son...Boy, John, if I love him one-tenth as much as you love Jake, I’ll feel like I’ve done a pretty d—mn good job.”

Considering how adorable James, Inez, and Betty are, I can only imagine how cute Blake Lively's son is!

How many children do Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds have?

Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively have four kids. They welcomed their third daughter in 2019, making this new addition to the family their fourth child.

Did Blake Lively have a 4th baby?

Blake Lively posted a pic on Super Bowl Sunday in 2023 showing what appears to be a post-baby body with the caption "Been busy."

Lively confirmed her fourth pregnancy in September 2022 when she arrived at her Forbes event in NYC cradling a baby bump and by posting her own personal photos on Instagramhoping that "the 11 guys waiting outside [her] home for a 🦄 sighting will leave [her] alone."

How old was Blake Lively when she had her first child?

Blake Lively was 27 when she gave birth to her first daughter, James, in December of 2014.

Why did Blake Lively name her daughter James?

The couple decided to name their daughter James after Reynolds' late father. While the name connects both James and Reynolds to his father, it also gives Lively the chance to bond with her daughter over having historically male names. "I liked having a boy's name," Lively said on Good Morning Americain 2015. "I thought I'd pass it on."

Their third daughter Betty's name is a tribute to Lively's late father. We didn't know the name of the couple's third baby until Taylor Swift used all three names in her 2020 album folklore. Swift also used James' voice at the beginning of her 2017 track "Gorgeous"! Does that mean we'll hear one of Ryan Reynolds' children in Reputation (Taylor's Version)? I hope so!

What has Ryan Reynolds said about raising their kids?

In a conversation with Hugh Jackman ahead of Deadpool & Wolverine, Ryan Reynolds opened up about how his family has helped his anxiety. "I think it makes it better because your focus is less on yourself and more on your kids," he says (via People). "I love that I've had anxiety because when I see my kids experiencing some of that, which is probably genetic, I know how to address it in a way that is compassionate, that actually allows them to feel seen. I know that I can't just fix it. And I can communicate all that stuff to them and with them. I'm always grateful for it."

Per People, Ryan Reynolds has also made it clear he and Blake are wholly invested in the kids' daily lives. The doting husband and father enjoys the moments of "walking them to school and walking them back" as it deepens their bond. More than anything, Ryan and Blake's main goal is to make sure they teach their kids how to be introspective with Ryan saying "the thing we sort of hang our hat on the most is self-awareness with our kids."

However, that doesn't mean Blake and Ryan don't absolutely love being parents. "We're very excited [and] we wouldn't do this four times if we didn't love it," he says in an interview with CNBC's Power Lunch. "Everybody's doing great. Everybody's actually doing fantastic. I think if we hadn't figured it out by now, I think we'd be in deep, deep trouble."

"It's a zoo over here," he jokes. "This is my office here, this is where I'll probably — to be honest, I'll probably spend the rest of my life in here."

We love how much energy Ryan and Blake are pouring into their kids. It's always beautiful when parents are able to be present with their kids and teach them how to be present with themselves. Ryan Reynolds has also mentioned how having daughters "has been such a ride." Since he comes from a family of all boys, having daughters is something that was beyond his wildest dreams! “I love being a girl dad,” Ryan tells Access in 2020. “I have three daughters, which I never in a million years would imagine.”

He mentioned his newest child in June of 2023, when he announced his new series Bedtime Stories. "The idea for a show made to help everyone fall asleep was born the same day as my fourth child," he says on Instagram.

The Deadpool actor also offered some parenting advice on Amanda Hirsch’s hit podcastNot Skinny But Not Fat. "Embrace the chaos,” he tells Hirsch. "[Blake] always says, ‘They're all under our roof right now. The whole family's under our roof right now. We have them all.’ And that is a fleeting thing. Not an infinite resource, you know?”

While Reynolds understands firsthand how overwhelming parenting can feel, he also doesn't wish away this time with four young kids: “Just say, ‘Think about what you would give in 40 years or 30 years to come back and enjoy this one moment.’"

Besides this, Ryan knows their kids' childhoods don't mirror his or Blake's. However, he's not trying to place a huge emphasis on that because he wants them to have "as normal a life as possible" (via Page Six).

"I try not to impose upon them the difference in their childhood to my childhood or my wife’s childhood," he said (via The Hollywood Reporter). "We both grew up very working class, and I remember when they were very young, I used to say or think, like, ‘Oh God, I would never have had a gift like this when I was a kid,’ or, ‘I never would’ve had this luxury of getting takeout,’ or whatever."

In his eyes, he doesn't feel like it's the kids' responsibility or "bag of rocks to carry" because they're full of "gratitude" and "have a strong sense of empathy." That's how he knows he and Blake are "doing an OK job" as parents.

How has motherhood affected Blake Lively?

Blake Lively opened up about how Ryan Reynolds and she monitor screen safety for their kids, which is definitely something top-of-mind in 2024. “This is not an ad. I get nothing out of this. I just love @tappityapp,” she said of the STEM-focused educational app. “It’s engaging, informative, fun and they care about safety."

She also jokes that she's learning new things right along with her kids! But, no matter how educational or fun an app is, Blake Lively also emphasizes the importance of engaging with her kids' devices: "I’m always triple checking any kids app constantly for safety because that’s my responsibility not an app’s, but I do LOVE this one.”

Despite its fun and funny moments, the actress has admitted being a mom is hard, but she did it with her signature dry sense of humor. “BettyBooze at your service," she wrote in an Instagram Story announcing the new brand. "These are recipes I’ve been making for loved ones for years. But I have 4 kids now. And I’m tired. So here they are. In a can."

However, Blake Lively absolutely loves motherhood, and says in a 2022 interview with Forbes that having children has made her feel more comfortable in her own skin. "Once I had children, that just became even more profound because my time was even more precious, but also I think having children for me made me feel so much more in my skin," she says. "I never felt more myself or at ease in my own body or more confident — not to say that there aren't a bevy of insecurities coming at me a million times a day, but I just feel incredibly settled."

Speaking with People in 2021, Lively also explains how important it is that her children see her accomplish things outside the home. "I want to be as present of a mother as humanly possible and I want them to feel my presence, but I also think the best way to be the best mother is to show them that you can have a life and have a passion and have an identity outside of just being a mother," Lively says.

While she acknowledges that motherhood is all-encompassing, and it looks different for everyone, she knows that having your own identity is very important. "Teaching them that they can maintain themselves and that everything is possible [is crucial]," she adds.

When did Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds have their daughters?

Blake Lively's children were all born in the last 10 years. Blake Lively's daughters are James, Inez, Betty, and her fourth child is named Olin! Their fourth baby's name was announced during the premiere of Deadpool & Wolverine. Blake gave birth to James in 2014, while Inez was born in 2016. Lively gave birth to Betty in 2019 and Olin in February of 2023.

Do Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively's kids have nannies?

Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds' children don't have a nanny. "I feel like I could sometimes have a bit of a short fuse, but there's just been this weirdly endless supply of patience," Ryan told GQ in 2015. "I have no problem waking up five times in the middle of the night and changing diapers, and as exhausted as you get, I have this stupid grin on my face all the time."

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