5 Ways to Deal With an Indefinite Long-Distance Relationship

Dear Lumi: Here is my challenge: I have been with a man for ten years — someone I have deeply loved and to whom I tied all my hopes and dreams. Yet, he has shown me that my hopes and dreams will never come true with him. He proposed and then changed his mind. I wanted to start a family, but he had a nervous breakdown instead. While he wants to stay together, we are only great companions, which has been a real challenge for the past three years. The fear of never having what I want if I leave overwhelms me. So, the question is: should I stay or should I go?

-Nicole, Brooklyn, NY

• Sun sign: Scorpio
• Rising sign: Pisces
• Moon sign: Leo

Dear Nicole: A woman who knows what she wants from the start, but doesn't see those promises fulfilled often falls into a repeating pattern. Love evolves, but the mind and body can play tricks if you're not aligned with your soul's desires. Observe how much energy you have left after waiting for him to change. How much effort are you putting into making him happy? As a holistic synergy coach, I see that you have given him your mind, body, and soul, yet he hasn’t delivered on his promises of family or commitment. If you’re ready to break ties, you must believe another person can grant your wishes. The Universe reflects what we embody and experience. Patterns of disappointment and false security will persist if your partner remains stuck in his reality. This situation might work for him, but is it working for you?

Your Scorpio Sun signifies a path of regeneration and self-empowerment. Your role is to rise above outdated patterns and align with your true vision. Scorpios are on a quest to confront and transform the sources of their struggles. We all create our destinies, but when we cling to wishing for someone or something to change, it won’t unless we take action. Having strong Scorpio energy in your chart, I’ve been where you are. I faced similar fears in my marriage. I realized over time that my partner wouldn’t change, and staying made me feel depleted and cut off from abundance. I feared the grief of ending the relationship, which felt like facing death. Yet, from the other side of that grief, I can tell you that you’ll emerge restored and vibrant, like a phoenix rising from the ashes. As a Pisces Sun, I can attest that leaving was incredibly hard, but I’m grateful for it.

With your Pisces rising, you have the tools to adapt to life's changes. You’re spiritually gifted and connected, and you will become stronger as you align with your intuition. Your Leo Moon gives you the fire to attract incredible opportunities or, conversely, fall into recurring patterns. Embrace your worth, and know you deserve a love story that nurtures your well-being.

Your chart’s blend of water and fire shows powerful manifestation abilities. Believe you can attract an amazing partner, but focus on clearing your energy and moving forward. Looking back should only help you avoid repeating past mistakes. If you decide to leave, commit to moving forward without second-guessing. Breaking free will allow you to attract the life and love you truly desire. For you, as a Scorpio Sun, this is an essential rite of passage. Once you move through it, you’ll be amazed at the magic that awaits you.

With Love and Stars,

Lumi

How To Cord-Cut In Relationships

1. Prepare: Close your eyes and enter a meditative state. Ground yourself by feeling connected to the Earth and center your energy by focusing on your breath.

2. Identify Cords: With your energy senses active, scan your aura to find toxic cords of attachment. Gently trace each cord to see what it's connected to — people, places, objects, beliefs, or past experiences.

3. Cut the Cords: Visualize your dominant hand as an energetic knife. Spread your fingers and move your hand through each cord to sever it. As you do this, say silently or aloud, "I completely release you from my life." Breathe deeply between cuts to stay centered.

4. Send Thanks: After cutting all the cords, sit quietly for a few minutes. Send gratitude and love to what you've released, acknowledging their role in your growth.

5. Finalize: Conclude the meditation and take a shower to cleanse and ground your energy.

Join Lumi live on September 15th for an insightful astrology event held remotely! She will dive into the Lunar Eclipse's impact on each zodiac sign and experience a live sound bowl healing session to help you realign and recharge. Don't miss this chance to connect with the cosmos and yourself. Click this link to learn more!

1. Putting On A Front

Just like no one likes when someone is rude or passive-aggressive, people also don't like when it seems like you're being overly nice or fake to win them over. Goldberg says, "When meeting a romantic partner's family for the first time, first it's important to be genuine. Putting on a front sets unrealistic expectations moving forward." No matter what you do, your true personality and characteristics are going to shine through eventually.

You may not want to hear this, but she also says it might not be a good idea to introduce your family to someone who should come with a "shock factor" warning. "If someone has a tendency toward crudeness or is passionate about controversial topics, they should keep that at bay for the time being."

2. Dressing Inappropriately 

"Dressing appropriately for the occasion, while staying true to their personal style, is important," says Goldberg. I'm one of the most open-minded people you'll ever meet, but I'm telling you now that you're going to get a ton of side eyes if you show up to a family dinner wearing something that would make someone clutch their imaginary pearls. Stay away from the deep v-necks, short skirts, and sheer materials — you'll thank me later!

3. Calling Your Partner A Suggestive Nickname

Sigh. There's plenty of discourse about whether or not you should call your partner 'Daddy' in the first place, but please don't call your partner this — or any other suggestive nickname — in front of their family. Some people may offer a knowing smirk, or think it's funny, but it doesn't make it any less embarrassing. There are plenty of nicknames and cute pet names you can use, but when in doubt: be very mindful and demure.

4. Being Critical Of The Cooking

If you're going to a barbecue or holiday gathering at your partner's family's home, it's possible the menu may not be your favorite. The food may even be served potluck style, so should you come across a dish that doesn't look appetizing...don't let your intrusive thoughts win by asking who made it.

Everyone knows what it means if a person asks that, and it won't make the cook in question feel very good. For all you know, your partner's mom may have been trying something new and was already nervous about it. No matter who actually prepared what, it's easier to politely decline something instead of being rude about it. "Criticism of the environment or their partner should be kept in check," says Goldberg.

Instead, she says you can offer to "help with tasks like setting up the table or cleaning up." This will leave a much better impression!

5. Purposely Bringing Up Controversial Topics

Every family is different, from their religion to their political beliefs to how they play Monopoly. While you may dig into those differences further down the line in your relationship, it's probably best to keep it light the first time you meet them.

Goldbeg says, "Maintaining a positive attitude is another key component. They should avoid making underhanded comments about their partner or bringing up issues they are unhappy with. Controversial topics, especially politics or culturally sensitive matters, should be avoided till the relationships are better established or in some cases should never be brought up."

IF someone else brings up a controversial topic that makes you feel uncomfortable, you can excuse yourself from the table so you can collect your thoughts. However, don't be the one to start an awkward conversation about religion, politics, or otherwise — it'll save you from a lot of potential awkwardness later.

5. Drinking Too Much

If you want to enjoy a drink or two, that's fine! Chances are someone will be doing the same, so that's not embarrassing. Getting drunk until you're slurring your speech or stumbling all over the place is a completely different story, though. All it'll do is signal that you're unable to know when you've had enough, and this could make your partner's family think you're irresponsible. You can have a good time, but just be sure to be mindful and pace yourself!

7. Refusing To Talk To Anyone Unless Your Partner Is In The Room 

I get it. Your nerves may be bad or you might hate small talk. But, you can't get to know your partner's family and vice versa unless you talk to them. People will notice if you and your partner or only comfortable talking to each other.

And if your partner does decide to join in on the conversation, make sure you don't make jokes that poke fun at them too much — it may fall flat. "They should be mindful of making jokes at their partner's expense, such as "oh now I see where they get that from." These can be fun and light, but it's always best to be more of an observer at that first meeting than taking the lead and potentially leaving a bad impression," Goldberg advises.

Want to truly make a good impression? She encourages you to talk to "as many family members as possible" instead of zoning in on one person, or no one at all.

8. Saying You Hate Kids — Especially If They're Present

I respect anyone who chooses to be child-free, but making it a part of your personality every chance you get means you're bound to say something that rubs your partner's family the wrong way.

It's one thing to be sure you don't want to have kids, but talking about how much you hate children — especially if they're around and very much a part of the family — is beyond cringe. You're bound to not only shock your partner's family, but you'll also piss someone off. If you don't want someone to judge you for choosing not to have kids, don't judge them for choosing the opposite.

9. Looking At Your Phone The Entire Time

The family is definitely gonna want to chat with you or your partner, but it'll be hard if you're too focused on your phone. Goldberg says, "It's important to stay off their phone and be fully present during this first meeting."

Your partner's family will either think you're rude or too nervous to try to get to know them. Either way, it's pretty embarrassing! Instead, I'd put my phone on 'Do Not Disturb' and try to be more in the moment!

Sam And Aaron Taylor-Johnson's Full Relationship Timeline

Early 2008 — Sam Taylor-Woods And Aaron Johnson Connect Via Nowhere Boy

After audition for a role in Sam Taylor-Woods' debut film Nowhere Boy, Aaron Johnson piqued Hollywood's interest with his portrayal of a younger John Lennon (via The Guardian). According to reports, that's not the only thing that made people curious.

It became apparent their interactions on set had ventured into romantic territory when they were spotted "arm in arm" and acting like "teenagers in love," (via The Guardian).

2009 — The Couple Gets Engaged A Year After Filming Nowhere Boy

Aaron Johnson eventually proposed to Sam a year later, despite maintaining boundaries while filming Nowhere Boy. They claimed to Harper's Bazaarthey were "very professional" even though "everyone on set knew" there were something budding between the two.

Aaron didn't hesitate to say, "And a year to the minute after we met, exactly one year to the minute, I got down on one knee and asked her to marry me."

It didn't take long for Sam to become pregnant with their first child either. "I knew I wanted a family with her, I knew I wanted kids, and a month later she was pregnant with our first child," Aaron admitted to The Telegraph UK.

April 2010 — Aaron Johnson Shares His Thoughts About Being A First-Time Dad

Aaron sat down with Jonathan Ross of Friday Night with Jonathan Ross and talked about the new role he was prepping for outside of acting. He said he was "not really" nervous about becoming a father because he'd been interacting with Sam's daughters from her previous marriage to Jay Jopling.

July 2010 — Sam And Aaron's First Daughter Is Born

Per reports fromDaily Mail, the couple's first daughter was born a few months after Aaron's appearance on Friday Night with Jonathan Ross. They didn't go into depth about baby Wylda Rae's birth nor were updates shared during the months following her arrival.

January 2012 — The Couple's Second Daughter Is Born

This time a rep announced the birth of Sam and Aaron's second daughter, Romy Hero to People. They experienced a home birth and a rep reported "mother and daughter are well" at the time.

June 2012 — Wedding Bells Ring As Sam And Aaron Get Married

The couple got married in Somerset during the summer of 2012 and it was immediately noticed that Aaron partially changed his last name. "I just don't see why women need to take the man's name. I wanted to be a part of her just as much as she wanted to be part of me," he said (via The Standard).

Sam Taylor-Johnson later praised the "stability" of their marriage by saying to The Guardian, "Being in an amazing relationship, having come out of a difficult one, it felt so good."

January 2017 — Aaron Taylor-Johnson Mentions Sam During His Golden Globe Speech

When Aaron won an award for appearing in Tom Ford's Nocturnal Animals, he made sure to express his love and gratitude for Sam Taylor-Johnson during his speech. "I want to thank my wife for being there with me and supporting me through this." He openly admitted his role wasn't "pleasant," but continued to thank her for "putting up" with him.

He also gave a shout out to their daughters "Anjelica, Phoenix, Wylda, and Romy."

February 2017 — Aaron Admits He's Not A Fan Of Everyone's Prying Eyes

The actor didn't shy away from talking about his great dislike for everyone's opinions about he and Sam's relationship when they first started dating. He told New York Magazine, "The attention was intrusive." At the same time, he said it helped him develop thicker skin so he can let things roll off his shoulders instead of feeling riled up.

March 2017 — Aaron Reveals He Has A Tattoo Of Sam's Name

Aaron took his love for Sam Taylor-Johnson a step further when he let the world see his tattoo of her name in celebration of her 50th birthday (via Daily Mail). Though the focus was meant to be on his new ink, his chiseled abs were also on display.

The actor appeared in Mr. Porterand revealed he'd rather stick to family life than acting. "I get more fulfillment from being a father than I do from being an actor" and even said he thought about "wanting to give it up."

June 2017 — Sam Taylor-Johnson Gushes About Aaron

It seems this couple was in-sync with each other because Sam later gushed about him during an interview with The Times UK. She said, "I literally found my soulmate" in Aaron and talked about not being ashamed of their large age difference. "When you're solid with someone in your own love, you don't think about it."

She later posted a moving Instagram post dedicated to her husband's birthday and wrote, "HBD to the most incredible husband, father, man @aarontaylorjohnson I ❤️U."

June 2019 — Sam And Aaron Taylor-Johnson Look Spiffy At Zoë Kravitz's First Wedding

Sam posted a stylish photo of herself and Aaron getting ready to attend Zoë Kravitz wedding to her first husband Karl Glusman. Aaron wore a tailored marl gray suit while Sam looked amazing in a leopard print dress.

"To the wedding we go... 🎩 @karlglusman @zoeisabellakravitz," she wrote in the caption.

November 2019 — The Couple Reveals What It Was Like Working On A Million Little Pieces Together

Joint projects can cause disagreements to occur between couples, but Sam and Aaron admitted they enjoyed the process of making A Million Little Pieces a reality. "It was the best thing we've ever done," Sam told Harper's Bazaar.

Unfortunately the author, James Frey, admitted to sharing false information in the memoir the film was based on and was even removed from Oprah Winfrey's book club (via New York Times).

June 2020 — Sam Taylor-Johnson Celebrates The Couple's Wedding Anniversary

Sam took to Instagram to share a black and white photo of the couple together in honor of their wedding anniversary. They looked like they'd stopped to take a quick photo while on a hike as they were both wearing hiking boots. "8 years later. Happy anniversary ❤️ #aarontaylorjohnson ❤️," she wrote in the caption.

She shared another photo of Aaron because Father's day coincides with their wedding anniversary. Her caption simply read, "Happy Father’s Day ❤️ #aarontaylorjohnson 🔥."

March 2021 — Sam And Aaron Taylor-Johnson Set To Work On "Rothko" Together

It was revealed the married couple were set to being bringing the film Rothko to the silver screen in 2021 with Russell Crowe and Aisling Franciosi set to star in it alongside Aaron (via Deadline). It's a film adaptation of The Legacy Of Mark Rothko by Lee Seldes, but nothing else has been reported about a possible release date.

May 2021 — Sam Taylor-Johnson's Excited About Aaron's Latest Project

After it was announced Aaron would star in Kraven the Hunter, Sam Taylor-Johnson couldn't contain her excitement. She posted a comic book version of the titular character on Instagram and wrote, "My husband ❤️ #kraventhehunter #aarontaylorjohnson."

The film will release in Theaters December 13, 2024, but you can watch the official trailer now! Based on what we've seen, it looks full of action and shirtless moments that will keep us warm during winter.

June 2021 — Sam Also Gets A Tattoo Dedicated To Aaron

Tattoo artist Docta Woo gave Aaron some new ink of the form of a humming bird and also revealed Sam's dedicated tattoo for her husband. "Captured a healed hummingbird on Aaron and added some love ✍🏼 for Sam ✨❤️," his caption on Instagram reads.

June 2022 — The Couple Renews Their Vows

In honor of their 10th wedding anniversary, Aaron posted a lengthy tribute to he and Sam's marriage on Instagram. He partially wrote, "we renewed our vows to one another and confessed our love in front of our nearest and dearest friends and family it was a celebration of love and joy," in his caption.

Sam also posted her own feelings about their vow renewal in a separate post. "10 glorious years 💕 My incredible husband, father to all 4 girls. I love you, I love you, I love you 💕 love conquers all."

September 2024 — Fans Speculate There's Trouble In Paradise

Despite their public love and support for each other, fans are convinced Sam and Aaron Taylor-Johnson are having marital problems. The actor was recently seen without his wedding band while he was out and about (via The Mirror). Neither have commented on the pics, so it could be that he forgot it at home or removed it for a cleaning.

It all seems very TBD...