6 Tips for Taking Ownership of Your Shortcomings (Without Groveling)

Alli Hoff Kosik
Oct 15, 2017

“Own it.” You’ve probably heard this phrase out of the mouths of over-served reality TV stars, or perhaps you’ve hurled it via text at a BFF. You may even seek to “own it” in your own life, making it your personal mantra to be painfully honest about your behavior, even when it’s not so great. At its core, this turn of phrase means being accountable — and while the concept is pretty trendy these days, the actual practice isn’t so simple.

Relationship expert Hilary Silver is a big proponent of owning it and an even bigger believer in what we all have to gain from doing so. For one, “we’re more likable when we own our stuff, because we’re better people and we’re more at peace with ourselves,” she says. Self-awareness and accountability are also important when it comes to leadership. “I think that you can be the most effective leader when you don’t pretend to have it all together,” Silver says. “Clearly, you’re a leader because you have skills and you earned it in so many ways — but when you can be honest and say where you struggle and how you’re working on it, people will follow you anywhere.”

Whether you want to practice ownership and accountability to improve your leadership abilities or simply to feel better as a person, here are six expert tips from the coach and relationship pro that will help you do just that.

1. Find the patterns in your life. We all have them. They’re the things we do over and over again that still make us cringe every. Single. Time. Maybe your knee-jerk reaction to criticism is to get defensive, or maybe there’s a nasty little monster on your shoulder that nudges you to make a snarky comment at someone else’s expense any time you feel uncomfortable. These are behavioral patterns, and identifying them is the first step toward holding yourself accountable for less-than-model behavior and becoming a better version of yourself. You might also notice frustrating patterns that feel outside of your control. Patterns like that might be an indication that you need to switch up how you approach relationships or decisions. “Start looking carefully at places where you’re stuck, where you’re unable to break out of the situation, where you’re having trouble reaching a goal, or where you’re having an experience that keeps repeating itself that you don’t like,” Silver says. “If it happens once, it could be a fluke and it could be done. But if it happens many times, it’s likely there’s a good answer and something that you’re doing to contribute.”

2. Own it! (But be kind.) Once you’ve figured out which of your patterns needs breaking, it’s time to take responsibility. “We often point the finger of blame at the situation or at another person,” Silver says. “Waiting for somebody else to change so that you can be happier means you’re going to be waiting a really long time — or forever. Being more in control and empowered to make the change means you have to buck up and take responsibility for what you are contributing.” An important step in taking this responsibility (and one that we’re finding especially refreshing in Silver’s approach) is cutting yourself a little slack. According to Silver, when we judge ourselves for our admittedly bad behavior before we even start taking steps to do better, we tend to get in our own way — and that doesn’t help anyone. “You can’t get to the bottom of something that’s going on with you if you’re not letting yourself go there,” she says. “The best way to go there is to know that you’re not going to be treated poorly by yourself. You deserve to be given the benefit of the doubt and to give yourself a break.” Preach!

3. Understand what you would like to be doing instead. Figure out what behavior, habit, or reaction would be better than the one you tend to engage in already. “Have a goal for what you would like to be working toward doing so that it’s ready for you when you’re trying to make those changes,” Silver suggests. “Visualize yourself doing that so that when the time comes, you’re more likely to be able to carry it out.”

4. Find openings for improvement. You’ve figured out where you need to improve, and you’re starting to take accountability (without beating yourself up). Next? Tune in to opportunities to make changes. If you’ve been paying close attention to your shortcomings so far, you should have a pretty good idea by now of when and how you’re most likely to fall off the wagon of good behavior. Identify those moments and try flipping the script. If you tend to lash out at your S.O. every time you start talking about money, be more intentional and take an extra beat next time the subject comes up in conversation. If you find yourself procrastinating on the job every time a certain kind of project is assigned to you, consider setting up a time to talk with your boss and ask more questions the next time said project comes across your desk. You need to start making a point of doing things differently, because only then can you expect different results. “Set yourself up to break those patterns,” Silver says. “Look for openings to do that.”

5. Have a sense of humor. As you work your way toward an even more perfect you (hard to imagine, we know), don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself and to more actively and outwardly own the places where you fall short. “Having an awareness of your shortcomings and owning them makes them so much more tolerable for other people,” Silver says. Next time you find yourself being difficult among a group of friends or family members, see how it feels to admit what you’re doing — but without being self deprecating. Laugh it off a bit (unless the laughter feels insensitive in the moment, of course), put a name to how you’re acting — “I’m being so difficult/judgmental/[insert other adjective here]” — and give some context to what’s been happening in your life to make you act that way. “Do it in a way where you know your worth, your strengths, and your shortcomings, and where you can laugh about those things and do your best to work on them,” Silver says. “When you own it out loud, people see the humanity in you and they know that you’re self-aware.”

6. Be proactive. It will be easier for you to anticipate your own bad behaviors and tackle them when you’re taking time to touch base with yourself on a regular basis. Silver recommends a five-minute daily mindfulness check, during which you should be asking yourself what’s bothering you, what’s on your mind, and what you need most in that moment. Being more sensitive to your mental state at any given moment will allow you to take ownership of your behavior and more effectively make changes in an intentional way.

What bad habits or patterns are you trying to break? Tweet us @BritandCo!

(Photo via Getty)

The Ultimate Guide To Understanding Your Rising Sign For Better Relationships

Sometimes we're looking for love in all the wrong places — and sometimes we're just looking for love in all the wrong ways. That's where your rising sign can come in. In this week's Ask An Astrologer column with Lumi Pelinku, our reader feels like they just can't find their footing romantically. Luckily, Lumi has the best relationship advice — and it all starts with your rising sign! Here's how you can use your own rising sign to level up your romantic life!

Juan Pablo Serrano

Dear Lumi: Will I ever be worthy of being loved romantically? I have never been in a relationship, and I’m scared I will never be. I have so much love to give, but I don’t think I’ll ever have the chance to show it.

Bean, Illinois

  • Sun sign: Virgo
  • Rising sign: Cancer
  • Moon sign: Gemini

Yuri Manei

Dear Virgo: I understand where you're coming from, as many people feel this way these days. Here’s a little personal story from my journey: In my early 20s, I was pretty inexperienced in love and pressured by societal expectations to settle down by 30. Sigh...

I went to great lengths to attract a partner, even dabbling in spells and misleading manifestation techniques. Please tread carefully if you're trying this. Instead of finding true love, I drew a series of “ghosts” and situationships. I felt I had so much love to offer, but it all led to emptiness and eventually a toxic relationship with someone I thought was my soulmate, but turned out to be my karmic partner. There’s more to this story, but let’s save it for another time.

The end of that relationship led me to discover the essence of self-love and self-acceptance, eventually stepping into my own worth. Astrology has become a guiding light for me in that regard — and can be for you, too.

​Let’s Talk About Your Rising Sign & How It Defines Your Relationship Standards

Luke Miller

In astrology, examining your rising sign can offer profound insights. With Cancer rising, your soul yearns for deep, emotional connections. Creating a biological or soul family may bring you joy and fulfillment. Opposite Cancer is Capricorn, which governs the 7th house of your birth chart — the area that reveals the type of partners you need and what you should embody to feel complete, whether you’re with someone or not. A Capricorn-ruled 7th house suggests that a structured, secure, and straightforward partner will align with your needs. If you find yourself in a relationship that feels stagnant or uncertain from the start, it’s a sign that you’re not embodying Capricorn’s qualities, and it might be time to move on.

Arina Krasnikova

Your natural tendency to give and care deeply for others stems from a place of genuine concern and desire to ensure everyone’s well-being. However, it’s crucial for you to seek security from within. Feeling at home in your skin and living in the moment are great starting points.

Avoid individuals who offer unrequited love or broken promises. You may have an intuitive sense that you might overlook — trust it. By becoming more aware of your physical and emotional responses to others, you can discern between genuine connections and energy-draining situations. Establishing a practice of quiet reflection and observation can facilitate understanding the root of your heightened emotions.

Cliff Booth

The core message here is to build security within yourself and extend grace and understanding to yourself throughout your journey. It’s perfectly okay to be single right now; you're worthy of attracting a partner who will cherish all of you. To find the love of your life, you must first love yourself — not in a self-centered way, but by honoring your own needs and boundaries. Saying no to situations and people not aligning with your sensitive soul will make you stronger than you realize. The Universe will respond with an endearing relationship by practicing this because you’ve learned to honor yourself.

With Love and Stars,

Lumi

​How Your Rising Sign Cultivates Self-Acceptance and Attracts the Love You Need

Alexander Mass

Like an outfit, your rising sign showcases your personality, identity, and perception of the world. What if I tell you that the rising sign can also attract the love you need in your journey? Think of your rising sign as your energy and how you embody it. It's the mirror we carry, and by our energy, we can keep it clean and pristine or murky and distorted. Sometimes, we cannot stand what we see in ourselves, and that channeled energy emanates outward, creating distortion-filled experiences. When this happens, you lose your 'main character' energy, which results in you leaving your life to chance rather than writing your chapters. When you embody complete self-acceptance and happiness within yourself, these are the key ingredients in powering up your rising sign and your 7th house.

As you begin to feel at peace, love, and harmony to the best of your ability, this will attract what you desire in your life and in love. The world will respond and reflect back all that we project. It’s that simple. Our rising sign is responsible for this active energy, and learning how to master it, will be the key to help you understand the nature of your personality while also attracting your dreams. The ascendant is the portal of your experiences, good and bad. Now that we understand the gist of the rising sign, let's explore your rising sign and how you can tap into your main character energy.

​Love Alchemy: How Your Rising Sign Shapes Relationships

Brit + Co

Aries Rising

Aries Rising radiates a bold, adventurous energy, often attracting equally spirited partners. To attract the love of their life, they should embrace their assertiveness and passion. By channeling the competitive energy of their 7th house (Libra), they can cultivate harmony in relationships without sacrificing their individuality. Self-acceptance means recognizing their fierce independence while being open to collaboration and compromise. The dynamic energy of Mars empowers them to attract a partner who admires their fiery spirit yet values partnership.

Brit + Co

Taurus Rising

Grounded and sensual, Taurus Rising can attract lasting love through their nurturing nature. Their 7th house energy in Scorpio encourages depth and intensity in relationships. To manifest their ideal partner, Taurus Rising must embrace their inner beauty and the pleasure of self-care. By embodying their desire for stability and security, they can project an aura of comfort and reliability, making them irresistible to those seeking genuine connections. Venus, their ruling planet, enhances their allure, helping them draw the right kind of love.

Brit + Co

Gemini Rising

With a quick wit and charm, Gemini Rising attracts partners through intellectual stimulation. Their 7th house in Sagittarius encourages exploration and adventure. To attract their soulmate, they should openly embrace their duality and communicate their needs and desires. Their self-acceptance journey involves acknowledging their inquisitiveness while finding ways to ground themselves in relationships. Mercury, their ruling planet, sharpens their communication skills, enabling them to draw in a partner who shares their passion for life and learning.

Brit + Co

Cancer Rising

Cancer Rising embodies warmth and nurturing energy, making them deeply appealing to potential partners. Their 7th house in Capricorn requires a balance between emotional depth and practical commitment. To attract a lasting love, Cancer Rising should accept their need for security while being open to vulnerability. Utilizing their emotional intelligence to discern their connections creates a safe space for love to flourish. The Moon, their ruling planet, enhances their intuition and empathy, helping them attract a partner who values their nurturing nature and ambition.

Brit + Co

Leo Rising

Confident and charismatic, Leo Rising draws people in with their radiant energy. Their 7th house in Aquarius encourages them to seek uniqueness in relationships. To draw in the love they need, Leo Rising must embody self-love while giving space for individuality. By embracing their creativity and leading with generosity, the Sun, their ruling planet, inspires them to attract a partner who appreciates their vibrant spirit and shares their vision for a progressive, loving partnership.

Brit + Co

Virgo Rising

Practical and detail-oriented, Virgo Rising has a unique charm that attracts partners seeking stability and support. Their 7th house in Pisces invites them to explore relationships' emotional and spiritual aspects. Virgo Rising should love their imperfections and the beauty of vulnerability to attract an epic partnership. By cultivating self-acceptance and finding joy in the little things, Mercury, their ruling planet, helps them draw in a partner who appreciates their grounded nature while encouraging emotional exploration.

Brit + Co

Libra Rising

Charming and harmonious, Libra Rising attracts partners through their innate ability to create beauty and balance. Their 7th house in Aries prompts them to be more assertive in love. Libra Rising must embrace the desire for partnership to attract their ideal partner while also recognizing the importance of self-identity. Being bold in expressing their needs will ignite their main character energy, as Venus, their ruling planet, empowers them to draw in a partner who values connection and independence.

Brit + Co

Scorpio Rising

Intense and magnetic, Scorpio Rising naturally attracts people with their enigmatic presence. Their 7th house in Taurus urges them to seek relationship stability and loyalty. Scorpio Rising should tap into their emotional depth and learn to communicate openly to attract the love they desire. Valuing their worth is vital to mastering their life path. By engaging in self-love and finding a balance between their passionate nature and a desire for security, Pluto and Mars, their ruling planets, will manifest in attracting a partner who appreciates their intensity and commitment.

Brit + Co

Sagittarius Rising

Adventurous and free-spirited, Sagittarius Rising attracts partners through their love of exploration and philosophy. Their 7th house in Gemini encourages communication and curiosity in relationships. To attract their ideal love, Sagittarius Rising has to tap into their quest for knowledge while remaining open to commitment. By cultivating self-worth and expressing their authentic self, Jupiter, their ruling planet, guides them in drawing in a partner who shares their passion for adventure and intellectual pursuits.

Brit + Co

Capricorn Rising

Disciplined and ambitious, Capricorn Rising manifests partnerships through their drive and determination. Their 7th house in Cancer encourages them to explore emotional depth in relationships. To attract lasting love, Capricorn Rising should tap into their nurturing side and allow themselves to be vulnerable. By practicing self-love while balancing their ambitions with emotional availability, Saturn, their ruling planet, aids them in attracting a partner who admires their strength while valuing emotional connection.

Brit + Co

Aquarius Rising

Innovative and independent, Aquarius Rising draws in partners with their unique perspectives and humanitarian spirit. Their 7th house in Leo invites them to ignite creativity and passion in relationships. Aquarius Rising must acknowledge their desire for freedom while recognizing the value of connection to attract the love they desire. By embodying their authentic and unique self, Uranus, their ruling planet, inspires them to draw in a partner who appreciates their individuality and shares their vision for a better world.

Brit + Co

Pisces Rising

Dreamy and compassionate, Pisces Rising attracts partners through their empathetic and intuitive nature. Their 7th house in Virgo encourages them to seek practicality and service in relationships. To attract true love, it's vital for Pisces Rising to embrace their sensitivity while grounding themselves in reality. By practicing self-love and setting healthy boundaries, Neptune and Jupiter, their ruling planets, will manifest a partner who appreciates their depth and aligns with their desire for meaningful connections.

Katerina Holmes

Understanding your rising sign can be a powerful tool for self-discovery and personal growth. Exploring your ascendant's unique traits and energies will help you get to know yourself and all its shades and how you navigate love and relationships. This awareness empowers you to embrace your authentic self and enables you to identify patterns that may hold you back. As you align with your rising sign's essence and ruling planet, you can cultivate more happiness and confidence, opening pathways to attract meaningful connections and experiences that resonate with your true essence. Embracing your rising sign invites you to step into your main character energy, allowing you to write your story with intention and authenticity.

Want to find out how astrology can be the guiding tool to self-acceptance and fulfillment? Click here and claim your copy of Lumi's Beginner's Astrology Book.

For more astrology advice, be sure to Ask Lumi for advice, and follow the conversation on Facebook!

zodiaczodiac signsrelationship advicerelationshipsastrology

Stanley’s 2024 Holiday Collection Makes The Perfect Gift – But It’ll Sell Out Very Soon

It’s definitely not too early to start your holiday shopping, and Stanley’s got just the gift for everyone on your list. The brand is debuting their Comfort & Joy holiday collection on October 29, and it’s packed with practical drinkware pieces of all kinds in the coziest colors ever to help ring in the most wonderful time of the year. We’re super stoked about the wine set and rose gold-gilded Quenchers! The Stanley holiday collection is bound to sell out, so acquaint yourself with the entire edit below and scroll on for details on how to snag the pieces for yourself before they’re gone.

Our faves from the Comfort & Joy collection:

What's in the 2024 Stanley holiday collection?

Stanley

There are 16 pieces in Stanley's Comfort & Joy holiday collection, including the famed Quencher tumblers. There's also some fun sets designed for cocktails, wine, and hot beverages!

The main characters in the collection come in three cozy colors: Gilded Sugar (a very light pink), Gilded Pomegranate (deep red), and Gilded Celadon (light teal). Select drinkware is also shoppable in colors like Twilight Gloss (deep navy) and Gilded Marshmallow (stark white).

How do I shop the 2024 Stanley holiday collection?

Stanley

You can shop the Comfort & Joy collection online on Stanley's website starting October 29 at 9am PT. You can also shop it through this post once the collection is live. Sign up to get notified about the drop here!

See The Entire Stanley Holiday Collection Here

Stanley

The Holiday Quencher H2.0 FlowState 40-Ounce Tumbler

The gold and copper details on this classic Quencher make every sip feel super festive!

Stanley

The Holiday Quencher H2.O FlowState 30-Ounce Tumbler

You can also snag the same colorways in a 30-ounce size!

Stanley

The Holiday All Day Wine Set

Pour one out for you and your bestie with this travel-friendly wine set.

Stanley

The Holiday IceFlow Flip Straw Tumbler

This tumbler is easy to take to and from all the holiday gatherings you'll be attending this season. No shame if you fill it up with some wine.

Stanley

The Holiday Stay-Hot Camp Mug

Keep that tea, hot chocolate, or warm cocktail warm with this expertly-insulated mug that's prepped and ready for the holidays with three Stanley signature colors.

Stanley

The Holiday Stay-Chill Stacking Pint

This pint keeps its contents cold (or hot) for hours. Party time!

Stanley

The Holiday Stay-Chill Growler Set

Camping in the cold? Pour up a warming cocktail – or better yet, some soup into the growler and enjoy with a buddy using the coordinating Stanley cups.

Stanley

The Holiday Lifted Spirits Prismatic Craft Cocktail Set

Shake things up this holiday season with this easy-to-use trio. This would also make an excellent gift for the mixologist in your life!

Stanley

The Holiday Legendary Classic Bottle with Buddy Cups

This tightly-sealed bottle keeps liquids warm all day long so you can enjoy a comforting sip by the fire, even in the thick of winter.

Stanley

The Holiday IceFlow Bottle with Flip Straw Lid

Keep sippin' with this convenient insulated bottle that can help you tackle your morning commute with zero troubles.

Stanley

The Holiday Stanley Cross Bottle

The crossbody strap on this bottle lets you keep your bev close, no matter what you're drinking.

Stanley

The Holiday Stay Hot Camp Mug Set

The ideal set for outdoorsy couples, this duo of insulated mugs will join them on every single adventure!

Stanley

The Holiday All Day Slim Bottle

The perfect size for a purse or backpack, this slim bottle still has all the features you know and love from Stanley.

Stanley

The Holiday Quencher H2.0 Samesies Sip Set

This set would be so cute as a gift for a mom + daughter duo. The big size holds 40 ounces, while the smaller one holds 14 ounces of their favorite beverage.

Stanley

The Holiday Quencher Straws for 40-Ounce Tumblers

These straws were made to match the Stanley holiday collection perfectly! They're also available for 30-ounce tumblers.

Subscribe to our newsletter to shop more exciting holiday launches + gift ideas!

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

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My Boyfriend Won’t Post Me On Instagram — Should I Be Mad?

We live in a "post your relationship so we know it's real" landscape, and I'd be lying if I said it hasn't made me wonder if there's a larger conversation to be had about it. Some people don't feel the need to post their romantic partner while others share their relationships in a way that rivals the best celebrity couples.

Everyone's different, but it's not not unheard of to question your partner's devotion if they're not posting you on Instagram. You may feel justified in your anger because "so and so" are always in cute pictures and videos together on social media — but are your feelings valid? The best person to answer this is licensed therapist Suzette Bray, LMFT. She has over 25 years of specializing in Dialectical Behavior Therapy, and she's seen this topic come up plenty of times during sessions with clients, so grab a pen and paper to take notes!

Why do people want to share their relationship status with others?

Afif Ramdhasuma

My sister used to ask me this question when I was in my 20's, and I always looked at her like she had two heads growing. I couldn't fathom the idea that people wouldn't want to talk about their relationship online because it felt like everyone was doing it. I mean, a study from Pew Research Center shows 8 in 10 people on social media see relationship posts, so it clearly wasn't outrageous to think it was normal.

But, that still doesn't answer why people are drawn to sharing cute little updates about their partner or relationship. Luckily, Bray has a good indication of what drives people to give others a sneak peek into their lives. "People share their relationship status for all kinds of reasons. Some want to mark their territory — nothing says 'back off' quite like a cute couple selfie! Others are just excited and proud of their partner and want to share the joy," she says. That stems from people's "need for a sense of belonging or to receive positive reinforcement from others," she adds.

But, this doesn't necessarily make people weird. It's just human nature that makes us act the way we do. "We as humans are just hard wired to seek connection, and broadcasting our connections, makes us feel more accepted and secure in our social lives."

Should couples have conversations about their social media expectations?

Katrin Bolovtsova

I don't care how hot you think someone is, you're going to have to learn how to communicate with them. It's true even if your chemistry is off-the-charts because healthy relationships don't fall out of the sky. They're built via honesty, respect, forgiveness, and other important factors.

Before assuming your partner is or isn't okay with you posting about your relationship, Bray is 100% convinced you should talk things through. "Social media is still in the wild west of relationship etiquette, and without discussions, assumptions about 'correct' behavior can run wild," she hints. For example, you could be happily posting about your partner only for someone to point out that they're not following you on social media.

"Some people are super private, while others practically live their lives online. Misunderstandings happen when expectations aren't laid out so talking about it can prevent messiness in the long run," Bray observes.

If two people have gone on a couple of dates, should one of them be upset if the other isn't publicly talking about them?

RDNE Stock project

So, you swiped right on Tinder or Bumble, and you had a few amazing dates with one of your matches. Before you start publicly declaring your love for them, Bray wants you to reconsider. "Hold on! It's just a few dates! Let’s pump the brakes. The early stages of dating is not the time to make grand social declarations," she declares. As someone who tried to 'date' people from Tinder, those first few dates aren't a guarantee that you've found the love of your life.

"Posting someone on social media can feel like a big step to some people so expecting that level of public commitment too soon might be too much pressure. If you’re already thinking, 'Why haven’t they posted about me yet?' after two dates, it might be a good time to check in with yourself about where those expectations are coming from," advises Bray.

I've recovered from my former, "Is he the one" obsession so also take it from me — see where things go first and then refer back to question #2!

Is it a red flag if someone doesn't post their partner on social media?

Budgeron Bach

It would be so much fun if we personally had Dustin Poynter, the flag guy, from TikTok helping point us in the right direction — but this is one of those things that errs on the subjective side. Though Bray doesn't feel it's necessarily healthier to keep your relationship private, she thinks "context matters." "Some people are just more private or feel weird about social media in general," she says.

But, that doesn't mean certain behaviors don't warrant a few eyebrow raises. She notes," If someone is super active on social—like posting about their dog’s morning routine and every cupcake they’ve ever had—but doesn't ever mention their partner, it could create a need for a deeper conversation." Before you feel justified about grilling your partner — as satisfactory as that may feel — take a second to breathe.

Bray would prefer you work to understand "why they don't post, rather than assuming your partner is keep you a secret." If you discover the latter to be true, follow your instincts and let that person go because you don't deserve that!

Do you think it's healthier for couples to keep certain aspects of their relationship private?

Fábio Carvalho

Everyone has a different view of what makes a romantic relationship healthy, so this is one of those things Bray says, "absolutely depends on the couple" because some "genuinely enjoy sharing their lives online." You've probably seen your share of couples who make cute content together whether they're married or not. I'd be lying if I said I don't specifically keep up with a few whose content makes me smile.

But, other couples may not be interested in sharing their relationship online because they "want to be private and keep the relationship free from the judgements or opinions of others," according to Bray. That's not to say they have something to hide, though. Instead, think of it as a personal preference.

"As long as both partners are on the same page and it’s not a source of tension, it’s all about finding the balance that works for them. If it starts to feel like a performance for likes rather than genuine connection, though, that’s where it can become problematic," Bray reminds.

How can someone bring up their partner's posting habits without sounding accusatory?

Timur Weber

You may feel eager about posting about your partner while they're less enthusiastic and this could make you feel upset. It's easy to jump to conclusions when you're already upset, but Bray feels "tone is everything." Ironically, she suggests something I've heard in therapy sessions and that's "to be curious, not confrontational." Hopefully this stopped you in your tracks if you were ready to give your partner a piece of your mind.

"You can say something like, 'Hey, I’ve noticed we haven’t shared much about each other on social media? What’s your take on sharing stuff about us online?' It’s important to frame it as a mutual exploration of rather than a demand for a public declaration," Bray points out.

What would you tell someone who wants to emulate couples who consistently post content together?

Vlada Karpovich

We've all seen couples who we think have the cutest relationship, even though we've never met them before. As much as you may admire a couple, Bray thinks it's a "slipper slope" if you want to try to recreate their online moments. "I’d encourage someone to focus more on what makes their own relationship feel fulfilling, rather than chasing #couplesgoals," she encourages.

However, this isn't a sign that you're not supposed to ever share anything about your partner or relationship! "If posting together feels fun and real, go for it! But if it starts feeling like a performance or that you are in competition with other couples, it's probably good to take a step back," she warns.

Also, keep in mind that social media doesn't show you every single moment of couples' lives so don't worry about trying to look picture perfect based on a 30 second to 30 minute video.

If you feel that your partner doesn't post you enough on social media, talk to them before launching into an angsty rant because your assumptions might not always be right. I wish someone would've shared this advice 10 years ago, but all that matters is knowing you don't have to let being upset about your partner's lack of relationship posts be the reason your day is ruined.

The problem arises when your partner doesn't seem receptive to talking about your concerns because dismissive or evasive attitudes are a no-no!

We have more relationship advice if you're looking for more romantic tips and tricks!

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Cozy Drama ’Virgin River' Just Broke This Long-Running Netflix Curse

Virgin River fans rejoice: season 6 isn't event out yet (it hits Netflix on December 19) and the show has already been renewed for season 7! Which is a huge deal because that makes Virgin River the longest-running Netflix drama ever, and after so many Netflix cancellations, it's exciting to see a show (especially one that's so feel-good) break that Netflix cancellation curse! And showrunner Patrick Sean Smith promises, “There’s a lot more to go here with these characters" (via Tudum).

Season 6 will see Mel and Jack finally tie the knot (and after we've been waiting for them to say "I do" for literally six years, this wedding is my most-anticipated scene), but the ceremony is just beginning for this cozy TV show. Here's everything you need to know about Virgin River season 7 before you even press play on this winter's episodes ;).

Is Virgin River going to have a season 7?

youtu.be

- YouTube

Virgin River Season 7 Plot

Yes, we're getting a Virgin River season 7! The new installment will follow Mel and Jack after their wedding day, and Patrick Sean Smith says season 7 will “explore the honeymoon phase for them as they’re building their lives on the farm, which can come with its own obstacles.”

But don't worry hopeless romantics, we don't have to worry about whether Mel and Jack are endgame. “I can’t imagine creating a scenario where you think Mel and Jack are going to break up,” Patrick continues. “It forces you to dig a little bit deeper into, well, what other issues can they have in their relationship? Especially when you want to keep it through the romance lens. I think Alex and Martin play all of those [moments so well], it’s just resting on emotional stakes as opposed to will they, won’t they.”

When is Virgin River season 7 coming out?

Virgin River Season 7 Release Date

We definitely don't have a Virgin River season 7 release date yet (it was literally just announced!) but check back here for updates. Based on the fact we got season 5 in 2023 and are getting season 6 in 2024, here's hoping we get season 7 in 2025.

Who else is going to be in Virgin River season 7?

Netflix

Virgin River Season 7 Cast

The cast of Virgin River season 7 includes Annette O'Toole as Hope, Tim Matheson as Doc, Colin Lawrence as Preacher, Kandyse McClure as Kaia, Sarah Dugdale as Lizzie, and Kai Bradbury as Denny.

“Especially with Hope and Doc, getting to tell love stories between two people at that age is something that television never does,” Patrick says. “Or if they do, it’s for comic relief or something. So the more that we get to grow those characters and dig into them, it just feels special. It feels like nothing else anybody is doing on television.”

Check out 10 Heartwarming & Cozy TV Shows for more watchlist inspiration!

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Your November Horoscopes Are Here — See What's In Store For Your Sign

Welcome to November 2024! It’s official, everyone. We are cleared of the eclipse season and approaching the holiday season and Election Day. The collective is stirring with anticipation, awaiting the next course in our journey. Breathe. Tensions are especially high due to the major polarity brought on by the collective planet Pluto's re-entry into Capricorn just months ago. The tides are expected to change as the regeneration planet regresses into Aquarius for good.

You may be thinking, “What’s in it for me?” Aligning with the cosmic flow will bring more peace, understanding, and balance in your everyday life. Scorpio season is in full swing, and it beckons you to begin analyzing your internal landscape, desires, and control. You'll improve the world by grasping the importance of revitalizing your inner self. Believe it or not, you're the main character of your story, and your light contributes more than you know. This November highlights this part of your narrative. Are you ready to learn what is in store for you this month? Read on for your sun, moon, and rising November horoscope below.

Themes For Your November Horoscope In 2024

Brian Yurasits

This month kicks off with the New Moon in Scorpio on November 1st, helping you see how you're being of service to yourself and others. Due to Scorpio's vibe of death and regeneration, this lunation will also materialize the importance of “clearing out” from the old. Remember last month’s solar eclipse?

This New Moon in Scorpio extends the path for you to turn over a new leaf and actualize your desired changes. Make a move.

The communication signals will power up as Mercury enters Sagittarius on November 2nd, manifesting a feeling of warmth and hope in our messages. The dialogue exchanged will be inspiring and educational.

Share information that will benefit others. You'll experience serendipitous moments as you give back.

Our drive and bravado will turn up as the motivator planet Mars enters Leo on November 3rd. Our self-worth will drive passion and desire. Step forward and claim your desire.

Patricia Luquet

Create your masterpiece and watch it come to life. Believe.

Love will shift to rationality and structure as Venus shifts into Capricorn on November 11. These next several weeks will help you gauge more accordingly with long-term plans and practical concerns. It will also invoke a more grounded approach to romance and dating.

Slow and steady builds stronger foundations in love.

On November 15th, the Full Moon in Taurus illuminates the sky, highlighting the importance of taking the reigns through a measured approach. With the rebel planet, Uranus, in alignment with this full moon, it will stir up massive changes involving our narrative and how we are playing our part in our storyline. It can lead to impulsive moves, so remember to be intentional. The great news is that Saturn, the structure planet, is direct today, bringing more clarity regarding our direction.

Ahmed ツ

Brilliance awaits as you hold steady.

Buckle up! On November 19th, Pluto ingresses into Aquarius, settling into this future-oriented sign. Anticipate significant technological advancements, including refined artificial intelligence, quantum computing breakthroughs, renewable energy innovations, and immersive virtual reality experiences. Side note: VR Games like Supernatural(I'm a BIG fan!) are revolutionizing workouts, allowing people to exercise in other worlds while engaging with a supportive community for weight loss, endorphins, and positive accountability. As you visualize your ideal paradigm, Pluto will guide you toward the tools or necessary changes to attract your desired results. Embrace this transformation and let go of outdated constructs, paving the way for a brighter, more interconnected future.

Vlada Karpovich

Happiness and fulfillment await those willing to adapt and grow.

This month ends with the Sun in Sagittarius on November 21 and Mercury Retrograde on November 25. Sagittarius season invokes wanderlust, adventure, and growth. Remember that you'll reign this season as you remain open-minded to new concepts and ideas.

Close-mindedness and dismissiveness of others' input lead to dead ends.

As we conclude working with Mercury’s backspin this month, steer clear of making traveling plans (like booking a ticket/itinerary), launching a business, or signing contracts. Plus, it will help you streamline your messages, think through your personal beliefs, and change your attitudes towards life. Going through reflection will help you gravitate toward your desired outcomes.

Which signs will be most affected in November?

Juliane Monari

As we journey through November 2024, Scorpio, Taurus, Aquarius, and Sagittariuswill each feel the cosmic waves uniquely. Scorpios will harness the transformative energy of the New Moon to reflect on their desires and initiate powerful changes. Taurus will be called to acknowledge new narratives during the Full Moon, prompting them to take control of their path and make intentional decisions. Aquarians will experience a significant shift as Pluto settles into their sign, inviting them to envision a brighter future and release old patterns that no longer serve them. Meanwhile, Sagittarians will be inspired by the Sun’s entry into their sign, igniting a sense of adventure and growth. However, they should navigate Mercury's retrograde carefully to avoid miscommunications and hasty decisions. Allow these energies to guide you toward a more fulfilled and intentional existence this month!

​Key Dates & Transits This Week

Griffin Wooldridge

  • 11/1 New Moon in Scorpio
  • 11/2 Mercury enters Sagittarius
  • 11/3 Mars enters Leo
  • 11/11 Venus enters Capricorn
  • 11/15 Full Moon in Taurus, Saturn Direct
  • 11/19 Pluto re-enters Aquarius
  • 11/21 Sun enters Sagittarius
  • 11/25 Mercury Retrograde in Sagittarius

​Read Your November Horoscope For Your Sun & Rising Signs

Brit + Co

Aries (March 21 – April 20)

Themes: Investments and Ambition

This month brings transformative opportunities for personal growth and ambition. The New Moon in Scorpio encourages you to dive deep into your desires and set intentions for long-term investments. As Mercury enters Sagittarius, your voice shines, sparking optimism and inspiring connections. Let love lead the way as Mars in Leo ignites your creative passion and pushes you to take bold steps in your relationships. Make a move while factoring in your happiness. The Full Moon in Taurus prompts you to let go of unwanted habits while tying loose ends with finances. The great news is that your adventurous spirit flourishes with the Sun entering Sagittarius later this month. Be mindful of impulsive trips or conversations, as Mercury retrograde calls for thoughtful reflection on your plans and communication style.

Brit + Co

Taurus (April 21 – May 21)

Themes: Connection and Identity

Expect a month filled with deeper connections and self-reflection as you reassess your values and domestic life. The New Moon in Scorpio encourages the exploration of your love life and partnerships, manifesting progress. With Mercury shifting into Sagittarius, discussions around shared resources become enriching and insightful. Consolidate your research or your internal landscape of beliefs and get to the bottom of what keeps you from attracting more abundance. Mars in Leo energizes your home life, inspiring you to create a nurturing environment. Rearrange furniture or begin visualizing your ideal home life — this new pattern will attract movement in your domestic life. The Full Moon in your sign focuses on your identity, offering a moment of self-realization and understanding about how you need to reshape your narrative. Mercury retrograde will help you retrace your steps regarding merged resources and enable you to work out your financial priorities or unresolved debts — research methods.

Brit + Co

Gemini (May 22 – June 21)

Themes: Wellness and Subconscious Needs

Prepare for a month rich in exploration and relationship review, inviting you to evaluate your connections and daily routines. The New Moon in Scorpio prompts you to reflect on health and work, paving the way for beneficial changes. Begin a new protocol and establish a sacred practice involving wellness that will reorient you with your goals. With Mercury entering Sagittarius, your focus shifts toward partnerships, enhancing the depth of your conversations. Work on listening intently to your partner or connections to find practical solutions. Mars in Leo ignites your curiosity, encouraging the pursuit of fresh ideas. Get involved in the local realms and initiate conversations — this will inspire you. Mid-month, the Full Moon in Taurus sheds light on your subconscious, urging you to confront hidden fears and clear out. The Sun in Sagittarius with Mercury retrograde will help you backtrack and analyze your relationships and their direction.

Brit + Co

Cancer (June 22 – July 22)

Themes: Happiness and Friendship Circles

This month invites you to balance your daily routines with self-care for emotional fulfillment. The New Moon in Scorpio inspires you to understand the core of your joy and what fulfills you. Mercury’s entry into Sagittarius shifts your focus to daily routines, enhancing discussions around wellness. Health is wealth. As you focus on your overall well-being, abundance will follow. The great news is that Mars in Leo energizes your financial goals, motivating proactive steps forward, so taking care of yourself this month will ensure the results. Later this month, the Full Moon in Taurus highlights your social circles, prompting a reassessment of friendships. As Pluto in Aquarius encourages transformative growth, the Sun’s ingress into Sagittarius and Mercury retrograde emphasizes health, inviting you to take self-care practices and review how you typically extend your energy to others.

Brit + Co

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Themes: Fulfillment and Reassess Life Purpose

Get ready for a vibrant month of self-discovery and creative expression. The New Moon in Scorpio prompts you to reflect on your domestic life and family, inspiring you to cultivate a supportive environment while establishing your terms. With Mercury entering Sagittarius, your focus turns to love and creativity, allowing you to step out of your comfort zone and explore these realms of joy. Mars in your sign boosts your confidence, empowering decisive actions in your pursuits. Be yourself and ignite your fire to get things done. Mid-month, the Full Moon in Taurus highlights your professional aspirations, prompting you to reassess your career goals. Factor in what makes you happy and optimizes your energy. The Sun's entry in Sagittarius alongside Mercury retrograde will help you backtrack and align with your priorities in love and your creative potential.

Brit + Co

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Themes: Ideas and Past Aspirations

This month brings clarity and enriched communication, inviting you to refine your thoughts and deepen your familial connections. The New Moon in Scorpio encourages engagement with new ideas and community interactions, promoting open dialogue. Being openhearted and receptive to people's feedback will lead to breakthroughs in your development. Mercury’s transition into Sagittarius shifts your focus to home and family, enhancing emotional discussions regarding your direction. Be curious in your approach; it will heal your unresolved matters. Mars in Leo energizes your subconscious, motivating you to confront hidden fears while helping you understand your habitual patterns. Rest and reflect. Mid-month, the Full Moon in Taurus prompts reflection on your philosophical outlook and long-term goals. Look back at your old journals or past aspirations to fill the gaps in your story. Mercury's backspin entails reviewing your next steps involving your emotional security — look within yourself and align with your feelings instead of seeking external validation.

Brit + Co

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Themes: Self-Worth and Vulnerability

You're in for a month filled with financial themes and meaningful interactions, guiding you to reassess your values and friendships. The New Moon in Scorpio inspires you to reflect on personal resources, setting intentions for more stability. This is an opportunity to revamp your approach to money and security — research new methods that will attract more abundance. As Mercury enters Sagittarius, your focus shifts to engaging conversations and learning opportunities. It is also an excellent opportunity to network locally and gain traction and confidence with the side hustles you may be working on. Mars in Leo energizes your social life, motivating you to cultivate new friendships and connections that will get you one step closer to achieving your long-term aspirations. Mid-month, the Full Moon in Taurus highlights shared resources, prompting a reassessment of intimate relationships and closing the chapter on any outmoded approaches. By the end of this month, Mercury retrograde will enable you to reflect on old ideas that may have rested on the back burner. This is your chance to let your past endeavors rest or revive once Mercury goes direct.

Brit + Co

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Themes: Self-Empowerment and Commitment

Embrace a month of self-confidence and financial insight! The New Moon in your sign empowers you to set intentions for your goals and new beginnings. You're worthy, as this is your chance to establish a new seed based on what's aligned with your heart. As Mercury moves into Sagittarius, your focus shifts to finances, enhancing your ability to express your needs clearly. It can lead to frivolous spending, so be mindful of ongoing patterns that can result in retail therapy. Your hard work will pay off as Mars in Leo energizes your career ambitions, motivating you to make bold moves. You'll shine as you begin to dream bigger and aim higher. Mid-month, the Full Moon in Taurus illuminates your partnerships, prompting a reassessment of commitments and closing the chapter on past disagreements. Hold space for your heart and your past to find a solution. As this month closes, Mercury retrograde will enable you to feel more in your power as you analyze your self-worth and become intentional with your next steps in financial planning or business endeavors. Clarity will be set next month.

Brit + Co

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Themes: Revelation and Health

Get ready for a month of revelations and enriching opportunities. The month begins with the New Moon in Scorpio inviting you to assess your emotional patterns, reorienting you toward powering up your inner belief and renewal. Begin an affirmation practice because this lunation will level up your manifestation abilities. Mercury gracing in your sign will invoke clarity and enhance your ability to articulate your ideas. Traveling or seeking out new experiences will be your go-to course, as Mars in Leo fuels your adventurous spirit, motivating you to seek a new perspective. Taking a class or engaging in higher study will fulfill you. Mid-month, the Full Moon in Taurus shifts attention to your work life and health, helping you to assess your well-being. Release whatever is weighing down at work or mental patterns — focus on one thing at a time to ensure productivity. Later this month, your season begins while Mercury retrograde occurs. It will be beneficial to slow down and observe your personal goals and how you're showing yourself up for others.

Brit + Co

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Themes: Community and Desires

Prepare for a month focused on community engagement and clarifying your core desires. The New Moon in Scorpio invites you to energize your social circles, sparking intentions for collaboration and shared goals. Be sure that your connections contribute to your vision — enthusiasm is vital for success. With Mercury moving into Sagittarius, you’ll gain insights into your emotional patterns, helping you navigate feelings more effectively. This is your chance to change what no longer meets your standards as Mars in Leo brings energy to transformative experiences in intimacy and with your vulnerability. Get to the root and realize what needs revamping. Mid-month, the Full Moon in Taurus shines a light on your creative and romantic pursuits, urging you to reassess what brings you joy and fulfillment. As Mercury retrograde approaches, take a moment to reflect on past experiences that shaped your emotional landscape; you might find clarity in revisiting old dreams and wishes.

Brit + Co

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Themes: Professionalism and Family Roots

Get ready for a month rich in professional focus and social opportunities. The New Moon in Scorpio prompts you to define your career goals, inspiring strategic intentions for success. With Mercury entering Sagittarius, your attention shifts to building social networks and enhancing collaboration and networking potential. Love and partnerships will fire up as Mars in Leo energizes your connections, motivating you to seek mutual growth and shared ambitions. It's time to set the terms with your relationship — this will help you get answers involving its direction. The Full Moon in Taurus highlights your dynamics, prompting a reassessment of your foundational support systems. Revisit the old structures regarding your family roots and decide whether you want to implement this as your course moving forward. As Mercury retrograde sets in, consider reaching out to old friends or colleagues; reconnecting could spark fresh ideas and rejuvenate your professional aspirations and inner needs.

Brit + Co

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Themes: Exploration and Purpose

You're in for a month of exploring and understanding your life purpose. The New Moon in Scorpio inspires a quest for new knowledge, guiding your intentions toward education, beliefs, or travel opportunities. It is time to fall in love with life by broadening your reach. As Mercury enters Sagittarius, your focus sharpens on your life purpose and public image, enhancing your ability to articulate your ambitions. Dig deeper and understand what stirs in your zest for life. Expect vitality and endurance as Mars in Leo energizes your daily tasks, fueling your enthusiasm for tackling responsibilities. Consider a health kick or a new regimen to help you keep up with your new endeavors. Your body is a temple, and this month is the starting point in getting things done with your motivation. The Full Moon in Taurus lights up your communication skills, enabling you to reassess your old ideas and how they can be cultivated. It's time to launch your idea or make room for something better. With Mercury retrograde approaching, reflect on past career choices; revisiting old projects or connections might unveil new growth opportunities.

With 2025 just around the corner, it’s the perfect time to explore how you can power up your year ahead. Lumi Pelinku invites you to dive deeper into your journey through an extended reading that can provide tailored insights and inspiration. Click here to book your reading today!

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