Changing Your Name After Marriage? Read This First

As a single twenty-something just figuring out the whole adulting thing, the thought of changing my last name post-marriage was far from my mind. With my head full of things like struggling to find the perfect work-life balance and planning my dream vacation to the coolest libraries in the US, marriage just wasn’t something I considered on the daily, let alone all the life-changing decisions that go along with it… until I had to review my passport.

Her response stuck with me and led me down a research rabbit hole to try and figure out just how much work it was, and why people choose to go through the hassle.

Why People Change Their Last Names

The history behind why British wives took on their husband’s last names can be a rough read for any feminist, let alone any LGBT ally. According to the BBC, prior to the 14th century, married women were perceived to have no surname because — here’s where it gets cringe-y — a woman was legally her husband’s possession. Around the 15th century, women in England began taking their husband’s last name after marriage to symbolize that the union made the couple “a single person, because they are one flesh and one blood,” according to English jurist Henry de Bracton. This tradition hopped over to America and was commonplace until Lucy Stone became the first American woman to legally maintain her last name in 1856.

Since gaining the choice to keep their last name after marriage, American women have been opting to keep their maiden surname more and more. According to a survey conducted by The New York Times, approximately 20 percent of married women decide to stick with their surname, while 10 percent choose a hyphenated option or keep their maiden name for professional purposes.

Is Changing Your Last Name Anti-Feminist?

Learning the history behind why people traditionally changed their last names can definitely make any feminist think twice about changing their surname at the altar. But before I took a hard stance that would follow me throughout my life and relationships, I thought it would be best to hear what actual married women think of the tradition.

Vogue culture writer Patricia Garcia beautifully sums up the most common argument I found: “For the record, I am a loud and proud feminist, so I was a little annoyed at his implication [that it was anti-feminist to take my husband’s last name]. My recent interest in changing had little to do with tradition. The truth is, in purely aesthetic terms, his name is better than mine; it sounds exotic and less banal.”

The more I researched, the more I found instances of people choosing to change or keep their surname for reasons that went well beyond the patriarchal roots of the tradition. For instance, in Bustle’s recent survey of 27 women who chose not to change their last name post-nuptials, the women’s responses ranged from professional — “I’m a writer and editor, so my byline is tied to my current last name” — to more practical — “My maiden name is easier to pronounce and spell correctly.”

Sure, there were still a few women who used the patriarchal undertones of the traditional surname takeover to give merit to their decision — “It’s embarrassing as a society that we permit that” — but for the most part, the women in this survey made the decision to keep or change their surname based on the career or personal impact it had on their lives.

Final Thoughts

Although the original reasons why women adopted their partner’s last names are definitely a sour topic for feminists, the modern bride shouldn’t be all that concerned about the stigma attached to changing their surname. As a proud feminist myself, simply having the option to choose any surname I would like — whether that’s my maiden name, my future partner’s name, a hyphenated option or a slick new surname of my invention — is enough to warrant a happy dance.

Since identity and naming are practically intertwined — read this amazing story about transgender naming ceremonies, for example — it’s important to not give into our preconceived notions about why we think someone should or should not change their surname. Rather, we should let the women in our lives choose their surname for themselves and celebrate a union, not a title.

P.S. Let’s be honest: Ashley Tacos would be an awesome name. I’m just saying.

Did you change your last name after marriage? Let us know on Twitter by mentioning @BritandCo.

(Photos via Getty)

It's official: Blue Ivy looks totally grown up now — especially in her gorgeous gold gown at the Mufasa: The Lion Kingpremiere. It honestly feels like just yesterday that Beyoncé announced she was born, and now she's a star in her own right! She celebrated her Disney film debut with her family by her side on the red carpet (and everyone looking as gorgeous as ever).

While Jay-Z was one of the latest celebrities caught in the crosshairs of P. Diddy allegations, it didn't stop mom and dad from showing their unwavering support. The family put on a united front, smiling for the cameras and praising Blue's work on her latest Disney film, further proving that they're in this together. Here's everything we know!

Details about the Mufasa: The Lion King premiere

Beyoncé & Jay-Z Amazing Support Of Blue Ivy's Role In 'Mufasa'

Jesse Grant/Getty Images for Disney

Blue Ivy stars in Mufasa: The Lion King as Kiara with Beyoncé voicing Nala again. The highly anticipated film will show Mufasa's origins from a young cub to the majestic king we've come to know, love, and mourn.

In this cute BTS clip, Beyoncé and Blue are initially shown in separate recording booths while the latter says, "Don't stare at me." It's a typical response all kids eventually give their parents, but it doesn't bother Beyoncé. She simply smiles and says, "I can't help it. You're just too beautiful girl." Still, she offers a bit of reassurance to Blue. "I'mma be right here closing my eyes."

Blue briefly talked about what it feels like to work on a movie by saying, "If I like told my younger self that I was in a movie, I'd like never believe myself."

The star couldn't help but tear up as she continued to watch Blue and said, "Give me a second. I'm still...just can't believe that's my baby." While sitting side by Blue, Beyoncé eventually turns to look at her to let her know she's "so proud of her." Even Rumi, Beyoncé and Jay-Z's youngest daughter, makes a quick appearance!

The Mufasa: The Lion King premiere occurred December 9 with Beyoncé, Jay-Z, and grandma Tina Knowles standing by Blue Ivy's side. They looked stunning on the red carpet as they wore coordinating outfits. Although the ladies seemed to be present and excited, Jay-Z temporarily looked distracted while all of them were standing together (via PEOPLE).

If we had to guess, it may have something to do with the recent allegations connecting he and P. Diddy weighing on his mind. After the accusation went public, Jay-Z penned his own public statement and shared it to Roc Nations' social channels. The most heartbreaking aspect of it is realizing his children will be able to see everything.

"My wife and I will have to sit our children down, one of whom is at the age where her friends will surely see the press and ask questions about the nature of these claims, and explain the cruelty and greed of people," he wrote (via X). Only time will tell how everything pans out, but we hope this doesn't overshadow Blue Ivy's success, nor do we want to see people vilify her or her siblings for alleged misdeeds of Jay-Z.

At the end of the day, we're so proud of Blue for letting her light shine bright despite everything else!

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Ahhh…Paris Geller. Where does one even begin with the best Gilmore Girl whose name isn't actually Gilmore? The woman we all came to know and love. The purveyor of backhanded compliments, deadpan humor, the quickest wit one can imagine and an absolutely ungodly work ethic. The sole character of the series who I would 100% watch a spin-off of, and love every minute. Sure — she once said that everyone around her needed to be sterilized immediately. And that Rory’s boyfriend offers “nothing to women or the world in general.” And that she can “scare the stupid out of you. But the lazy runs deep.”

She may, in fact, be the only character whose absurdity warrants such unhinged comments, and I am so here for it. You may be reading this because you too believe that Paris Geller deserves way more praise than she receives. Or you hate her. Or perhaps you don’t even know who she is. Regardless, allow me to delight you with the many — shall I say — unique musings of my favorite Gilmore Girls character, and explain exactly why Paris was not only what the cult-classic show needed, but the feminist icon TV needed, too.

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So let’s start from the beginning. Paris Geller (played by Liza Weil) joined the GG crew in Season 1, right as Rory Gilmore (the show’s sort-of protagonist) walked into Chilton Academy, a private school where Paris was attending, for her first day. A far cry from Rory’s relatively timid and soft-spoken personality, Paris tore up the screen with her high-strung personality and immediate rivalry with Rory (Rory did not feel the same), who Paris viewed as the only candidate who could possibly challenge her spot at the top of the class standing. As the year progresses, the two become friends, which of course Paris still highly questioned.

The rest of their high school experience is plagued with repeated ups and downs, from Paris’s parents’ highly publicized divorce to their joint student government campaign and, most notably, Paris’s C-SPAN meltdown, courtesy of a Harvard rejection fueled by what she can only assume to be wide-spread knowledge that she lost her virginity. Despite losing the Valedictorian slot to Rory (which Paris comes to terms with after finding out Salutatorians tend to be more successful), Paris walks across the graduation stage and accepts her diploma from the school’s headmaster, to which she iconically quips, “no hard feelings.”

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Fast forward to Paris’s first year at Yale, a school she knew Rory was attending but had no intention of ever seeing again. Not to the surprise of Paris’s life coach, the two frenemies were placed together as suitemates, a pairing that ultimately served as a catalyst for lifelong friendship. Throughout college, Paris pursues pre-med and pre-law degrees, joins the Yale Daily News alongside Rory, dates an elderly professor (he passes away, leaving Paris to grieve), moves on with the editor of the Yale Daily News, Doyle McMaster, and potentially saves Rory from abandoning Yale forever by admitting to Lorelai that Rory is the only person who ever listened to her, challenged her and motivated her.

Paris then proceeds to become the editor of the Yale Daily News, a position in which her power-hungry tendencies took full-force, resulting in a forcible resignation, kick Rory out of their shared apartment, let Rory move back into their shared apartment (now with Doyle), be accepted to a slew of prestigious medical and law schools. She ultimately chose to attend med school and break up with Doyle, to which he refused, and tells Rory that they’re on their own but she can still do great things (Of course this doesn’t last, the two are meant to be best friends.)

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Somehow this doesn't even scratch the surface of the character of Paris. As you can tell, Paris is a fiercely loyal, protective woman who fights for herself to no end. She (literally) doesn’t care what other people think (so long as they’re not within her immediate circle) and never stops pursuing her dreams, no matter how many times she probably should have. She is the epitome of feminism in modern television — perhaps taken to an extreme — and serves as a necessary counterweight to Rory’s floundering sense of self.

So long as she keeps her need for perfectionism in check, Paris has one of those few personality types whose wild ambition and outspokenness is directly beneficial to her success, a success that she, and only she, can define. Sure, she has an exaggerated sense of self-importance, but when balanced by Rory’s soft-but-straightforward approach, Paris can quickly reset, reevaluate and move forward.

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That's the thing with Paris — she’s always moving forward. She doesn't get into Harvard? Tough. She takes a few days to wallow before considering her other options: Yale, Columbia and Princeton. She doesn’t know whether to choose med school or law school, so she takes stock of her bearings, reflects on her past dreams, and makes a clear, concise decision that she moves forward with.

Her brutally honest nature (both internally and externally) is exactly why Paris works. She’s generous when needed, comfortable with giving tough (and oftentimes tougher) love, is able to express vulnerability with the people she loves, doesn’t allow outside influences to affect her path and never let’s someone (especially a man) tell her she’s less than (*cough, cough*—Rory). For an early 2000s show, she showed women that there is power in education. There’s power in stepping away from a caretaker role. There’s power in expressing your opinion, no matter your age.

Image via WB

There’s no doubt in my mind that she’s inspired countless women over the years — after all, she’s inspired me! Even though she’s had her controversial moments, she’s always been a cheering voice for women, even if it’s behind her resting grimace. For these reasons, and so many more, I am hereby deeming Paris Geller the best of Gilmore Girls — the heroine, perhaps, and a feminist icon to all.

What's your take on Paris Geller? Let us know in the comments, and sign up for our email newsletter for more pop culture musings!

Header image via Netflix, Warner Bros

This post has been updated.

Gilmore Girlstakes up more of my brain space than I'd care to admit. The show is undeniably great. I mean, there's a reason it's become an absolute cultural phenomenon! The banter is witty and memorable, the Stars Hollow, Connecticut setting is warm and friendly, and the character dynamics feel natural and comforting. All of these elements combined create the perfect comfort show thatI personally rewatch again and again. However, despite having an overall positive opinion of the show, there is one bone I have to pick with it. This grievance makes my blood boil and keeps me tossing and turning at night.

While I can't pose my all-too-important question to the creators of the show, I will ask it to you, reader: Why in the world was Lane Kim's storyline such a travesty? Considering the show is not shy about uplifting and celebrating Rory (despite her many mistakes) it feels especially unfair how short of a stick Lane (played by Keiko Agena) truly got. Here are my unfiltered thoughts on the subject.

Lane deserved better after a life of seeking independence

Photo via WBLane Kim's Treatment On "Gilmore Girls" Is The Ultimate TV Tragedy

Throughout Lane's formative teenage years, she was forced to hide her true identity and interests in order to appease her mother. From hiding CDs in her floorboards and changing her clothes when she got to school, Lane was under a lot of pressure to keep her mom happy, while still trying to figure out who she was. Her mother even kicked her out after finding out about her "secret life," causing Lane to have to move into Rory's dorm. Rory, on the other hand, had a mother who supported her every dream and who she could be fully herself with.

I'm not sure why only one of these two besties got to live out their dreams, but if it did have to play out this way, it should have been Lane Kim. Given how difficult her upbringing was, couldn't the show have given her a win by having *her* be the one who gets to follow her dreams?

Lane's love life is lackluster

Image via Saeed Adyani/Netflix

Once again, the show propped up Rory and gave her not one, not two, but three love interests. Whether or not you love all three of them, we can all admit that each boyfriend was compatible with Rory in their own way, and helped her learn and grow. Lane, however, did not get this. Her first boyfriend, Dave, is great. He's kind and sweet and understanding of her family situation, but the show breaks them up because they can't handle being long-distance. (Technically, we know actor Adam Brody had to leave for The O.C. but where is the justice??!)

After Dave, it all goes downhill from there for poor Lane. She ends up with Zack, who isn't bad but isn't great. And, as soon as Lane is finally getting to pursue her passion by going on tour with her band, she finds out she and Zack are pregnant. Considering how long Lane dreamed of getting to be her authentic herself and openly express her interests, it feels cruel that this twist of fate took it away from her at this exact moment.

Lane made the best of her situation

Image via Neil Jacobs/Netflix

Despite Rory having almost every opportunity available to her, we find out in Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life that she is making bad decisions (like, er, sleeping with an engaged man) and is struggling to find her way. Lane, on the other hand, has made the best out of the cards she's been dealt. She's still married to Zack, is taking care of her twins, and has even kept music in her life by joining a band. I can't help but think if Lane can forge ahead despite all of her unfortunate circumstances, how fantastic could her life have been if the writers had served her just a little bit more good fortune?

Lane could have served as the role model so many girls needed

Image via Saeed Adyani/Netflix

Lane's experience mirrors many Asian-American girls' lives. She had a strict upbringing and struggled to strike a balance between fitting in with her American peers and forming her own identity, while still trying to manage her mother's expectations of who she should be. As an Asian-American, Lane's experiences mirrored many of my own, and, at a time when there was such little Asian representation, this was extremely impactful.

With the lack of representation at the time, it was even more important that Lane was dealt an ending that she and her viewers could be proud of. Instead of turning her into somewhat of a cautionary tale, her story could have been utilized to empower an audience of individuals who saw themselves in her. For that reason, Lane's treatment on Gilmore Girls will never quite sit right with me.

What do you think about Lane Kim's storyline on Gilmore Girls? Let us know in the comments and check out our guide to Where Is The Gilmore Girls Cast Now? to keep up with your favorite Stars Hollow residents (even if they're not in Stars Hollow anymore).

Lead image via Warner Bros

This post has been updated.