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Why do people want to share their relationship status with others?

My sister used to ask me this question when I was in my 20's, and I always looked at her like she had two heads growing. I couldn't fathom the idea that people wouldn't want to talk about their relationship online because it felt like everyone was doing it. I mean, a study from Pew Research Center shows 8 in 10 people on social media see relationship posts, so it clearly wasn't outrageous to think it was normal.

But, that still doesn't answer why people are drawn to sharing cute little updates about their partner or relationship. Luckily, Bray has a good indication of what drives people to give others a sneak peek into their lives. "People share their relationship status for all kinds of reasons. Some want to mark their territory — nothing says 'back off' quite like a cute couple selfie! Others are just excited and proud of their partner and want to share the joy," she says. That stems from people's "need for a sense of belonging or to receive positive reinforcement from others," she adds.

But, this doesn't necessarily make people weird. It's just human nature that makes us act the way we do. "We as humans are just hard wired to seek connection, and broadcasting our connections, makes us feel more accepted and secure in our social lives."

Should couples have conversations about their social media expectations?

I don't care how hot you think someone is, you're going to have to learn how to communicate with them. It's true even if your chemistry is off-the-charts because healthy relationships don't fall out of the sky. They're built via honesty, respect, forgiveness, and other important factors.

Before assuming your partner is or isn't okay with you posting about your relationship, Bray is 100% convinced you should talk things through. "Social media is still in the wild west of relationship etiquette, and without discussions, assumptions about 'correct' behavior can run wild," she hints. For example, you could be happily posting about your partner only for someone to point out that they're not following you on social media.

"Some people are super private, while others practically live their lives online. Misunderstandings happen when expectations aren't laid out so talking about it can prevent messiness in the long run," Bray observes.

If two people have gone on a couple of dates, should one of them be upset if the other isn't publicly talking about them?

So, you swiped right on Tinder or Bumble, and you had a few amazing dates with one of your matches. Before you start publicly declaring your love for them, Bray wants you to reconsider. "Hold on! It's just a few dates! Let’s pump the brakes. The early stages of dating is not the time to make grand social declarations," she declares. As someone who tried to 'date' people from Tinder, those first few dates aren't a guarantee that you've found the love of your life.

"Posting someone on social media can feel like a big step to some people so expecting that level of public commitment too soon might be too much pressure. If you’re already thinking, 'Why haven’t they posted about me yet?' after two dates, it might be a good time to check in with yourself about where those expectations are coming from," advises Bray.

I've recovered from my former, "Is he the one" obsession so also take it from me — see where things go first and then refer back to question #2!

Is it a red flag if someone doesn't post their partner on social media?

It would be so much fun if we personally had Dustin Poynter, the flag guy, from TikTok helping point us in the right direction — but this is one of those things that errs on the subjective side. Though Bray doesn't feel it's necessarily healthier to keep your relationship private, she thinks "context matters." "Some people are just more private or feel weird about social media in general," she says.

But, that doesn't mean certain behaviors don't warrant a few eyebrow raises. She notes," If someone is super active on social—like posting about their dog’s morning routine and every cupcake they’ve ever had—but doesn't ever mention their partner, it could create a need for a deeper conversation." Before you feel justified about grilling your partner — as satisfactory as that may feel — take a second to breathe.

Bray would prefer you work to understand "why they don't post, rather than assuming your partner is keep you a secret." If you discover the latter to be true, follow your instincts and let that person go because you don't deserve that!

Do you think it's healthier for couples to keep certain aspects of their relationship private?

Everyone has a different view of what makes a romantic relationship healthy, so this is one of those things Bray says, "absolutely depends on the couple" because some "genuinely enjoy sharing their lives online." You've probably seen your share of couples who make cute content together whether they're married or not. I'd be lying if I said I don't specifically keep up with a few whose content makes me smile.

But, other couples may not be interested in sharing their relationship online because they "want to be private and keep the relationship free from the judgements or opinions of others," according to Bray. That's not to say they have something to hide, though. Instead, think of it as a personal preference.

"As long as both partners are on the same page and it’s not a source of tension, it’s all about finding the balance that works for them. If it starts to feel like a performance for likes rather than genuine connection, though, that’s where it can become problematic," Bray reminds.

How can someone bring up their partner's posting habits without sounding accusatory?

You may feel eager about posting about your partner while they're less enthusiastic and this could make you feel upset. It's easy to jump to conclusions when you're already upset, but Bray feels "tone is everything." Ironically, she suggests something I've heard in therapy sessions and that's "to be curious, not confrontational." Hopefully this stopped you in your tracks if you were ready to give your partner a piece of your mind.

"You can say something like, 'Hey, I’ve noticed we haven’t shared much about each other on social media? What’s your take on sharing stuff about us online?' It’s important to frame it as a mutual exploration of rather than a demand for a public declaration," Bray points out.

What would you tell someone who wants to emulate couples who consistently post content together?

We've all seen couples who we think have the cutest relationship, even though we've never met them before. As much as you may admire a couple, Bray thinks it's a "slipper slope" if you want to try to recreate their online moments. "I’d encourage someone to focus more on what makes their own relationship feel fulfilling, rather than chasing #couplesgoals," she encourages.

However, this isn't a sign that you're not supposed to ever share anything about your partner or relationship! "If posting together feels fun and real, go for it! But if it starts feeling like a performance or that you are in competition with other couples, it's probably good to take a step back," she warns.

Also, keep in mind that social media doesn't show you every single moment of couples' lives so don't worry about trying to look picture perfect based on a 30 second to 30 minute video.

What Are Boo Baskets?

Boo baskets are Halloween or fall-themed gift baskets typically filled with candy, seasonal decorations, and fun crafts that you can surprise your significant other with to celebrate the season. While videos of this trend usually show people giving their baskets to their “boo” (pun intended), it’s not limited to just your partner. You can also make one for your friends, your parents, your kids, or even your pets if you wanted to!

What Do You Put In a Boo Basket?

Just about anything can go in a boo basket! If you’re creating a basket that’s specific to your loved one’s interests, the possibilities of what you can include are endless. But based on countless TikTok videos and Instagram reels posted about this trend, the general formula for a basket that I’ve noticed includes a cozy item, a mug, a fall-themed drink mix, snacks or candy, a stuffed animal, and (of course) a basket big enough to fit everything!

First, The Basket

Technically, any big basket or container could be used to hold your boo basket items. However, if you’re the kind of person that likes to go all out when gift-giving, I would recommend a Halloween-themed basket like the Andemie Halloween Collapsible Organizer from Amazon. Not only does this basket come in multiple colors and patterns, you can easily flatten the basket and store it anywhere you want, so you can reuse it next fall.

Candles, Body Care, Sweaters & More … A Cozy Girl’s Galore!

Everyone has their own preferences when it comes to getting all relaxed and comfortable, especially on a chilly, rainy fall day. Personally, there are three essential elements to my lazy days – an oversized sweater, some gourmand scented body care, and a candle that makes my entire apartment smell like walking into a bakery. If this sounds like you, here are some of my favorites.

This sweater from the LoveStitchesCo shop on Etsy has quickly become a staple to my “lounging around” outfits this season, and for a good reason. For only $26, this sweater is made out of 100 percent cotton, has a wide size range available (S to 3XL), and can be customized to whatever color you’d like. Plus, the embroidered design is absolutely adorable; who doesn’t love ghost kittens?

As the weather gets colder, many people (like myself) opt to swap their perfumes and scented lotions from fruity and tropical notes to warm and edible notes like vanilla, caramel, honey and chocolate. If you’re looking to spoil your boo basket recipient who likes these kinds of scents, Sol de Janeiro recently released a limited edition body cream in one of their best-sellers, Cheirosa 71. Fragrance notes of caramelized vanilla, white chocolate and toasted macadamia nut will have you smelling like a snack (literally), while moisturizing ingredients like macadamia seed oil and tucumã butter will keep your skin feeling silky smooth.

If you’re a candle lover, then you already know that the best place to find candles for every season is at none other than Bath & Body Works. Sure, there are plenty of pumpkin scented candles to try, but if you’re looking to include something in a boo basket that screams fall, Autumn Chai is the perfect option. This three-wick candle has notes of cinnamon chai, French vanilla, and caramel – a great combination if you’re looking for something cozy, but not too overwhelming.

Drink Mixes

Hot chocolate is one of the quintessential cold weather beverages, but if you want to be more creative with your drink choice, Target’s Favorite Day brand has a spooky-themed hot cocoa mix that would be a great addition to your boo basket. One box comes with two cocoa mixes and a marshmallow confetti mix shaped like beakers you can find in a science laboratory, and when combined with warm milk, changes to an orange or green color. How cool is that?

And Of Course, A Mug To Match

You got the perfect fall drink for your boo, but what mug would go with it the best? At this stage, I think this is where you get something that is the most personable to your boo basket recipient. You could include a mug that matches their career or their favorite hobbies and interests. If you want to play it safe and stick with a Halloween theme, this 15 oz ghost mug from Target is spook-tacular!

Plushies Make Everything Better

Who says that stuffed animals are just for kids? Not only are they fluffy and come in all shapes and sizes, giving a stuffed animal to your loved one is one of the best ways to show that you care about them. As a plushie connoisseur, my go-to pick for a boo basket would be any plush, like this pink llama from Warmies. Each cuddly buddy is lavender-scented and also serves as a microwaveable heating pad that can be used to relieve stress or soothe muscle aches and pains.

Don’t Forget the Candy

No Halloween basket would be complete without candy! From chocolates to gummy worms and sour WarHeads, there are so many options to choose from that it can seem overwhelming to pick just one. And if your boo basket recipient has any dietary restrictions, it can be even more difficult to find something that fits that person’s needs. My twin sister has been vegan for almost five years, and before we both moved out from our parents’ house, these dark chocolate coconut bars from Unreal were a staple snack for the whole family. Not only are these bars certified vegan and gluten-free, each bar only contains three grams of sugar and three ingredients – coconut, cassava syrup and dark chocolate. As someone who isn’t vegan, trust me when I say that when you try these, you won’t want to go back to the name-brand chocolate.