This New Study Is Proof That Unfollowing Your Ex on Social Media Is Crucial

Why do people want to share their relationship status with others?

My sister used to ask me this question when I was in my 20's, and I always looked at her like she had two heads growing. I couldn't fathom the idea that people wouldn't want to talk about their relationship online because it felt like everyone was doing it. I mean, a study from Pew Research Center shows 8 in 10 people on social media see relationship posts, so it clearly wasn't outrageous to think it was normal.

But, that still doesn't answer why people are drawn to sharing cute little updates about their partner or relationship. Luckily, Bray has a good indication of what drives people to give others a sneak peek into their lives. "People share their relationship status for all kinds of reasons. Some want to mark their territory — nothing says 'back off' quite like a cute couple selfie! Others are just excited and proud of their partner and want to share the joy," she says. That stems from people's "need for a sense of belonging or to receive positive reinforcement from others," she adds.

But, this doesn't necessarily make people weird. It's just human nature that makes us act the way we do. "We as humans are just hard wired to seek connection, and broadcasting our connections, makes us feel more accepted and secure in our social lives."

Should couples have conversations about their social media expectations?

I don't care how hot you think someone is, you're going to have to learn how to communicate with them. It's true even if your chemistry is off-the-charts because healthy relationships don't fall out of the sky. They're built via honesty, respect, forgiveness, and other important factors.

Before assuming your partner is or isn't okay with you posting about your relationship, Bray is 100% convinced you should talk things through. "Social media is still in the wild west of relationship etiquette, and without discussions, assumptions about 'correct' behavior can run wild," she hints. For example, you could be happily posting about your partner only for someone to point out that they're not following you on social media.

"Some people are super private, while others practically live their lives online. Misunderstandings happen when expectations aren't laid out so talking about it can prevent messiness in the long run," Bray observes.

If two people have gone on a couple of dates, should one of them be upset if the other isn't publicly talking about them?

So, you swiped right on Tinder or Bumble, and you had a few amazing dates with one of your matches. Before you start publicly declaring your love for them, Bray wants you to reconsider. "Hold on! It's just a few dates! Let’s pump the brakes. The early stages of dating is not the time to make grand social declarations," she declares. As someone who tried to 'date' people from Tinder, those first few dates aren't a guarantee that you've found the love of your life.

"Posting someone on social media can feel like a big step to some people so expecting that level of public commitment too soon might be too much pressure. If you’re already thinking, 'Why haven’t they posted about me yet?' after two dates, it might be a good time to check in with yourself about where those expectations are coming from," advises Bray.

I've recovered from my former, "Is he the one" obsession so also take it from me — see where things go first and then refer back to question #2!

Is it a red flag if someone doesn't post their partner on social media?

It would be so much fun if we personally had Dustin Poynter, the flag guy, from TikTok helping point us in the right direction — but this is one of those things that errs on the subjective side. Though Bray doesn't feel it's necessarily healthier to keep your relationship private, she thinks "context matters." "Some people are just more private or feel weird about social media in general," she says.

But, that doesn't mean certain behaviors don't warrant a few eyebrow raises. She notes," If someone is super active on social—like posting about their dog’s morning routine and every cupcake they’ve ever had—but doesn't ever mention their partner, it could create a need for a deeper conversation." Before you feel justified about grilling your partner — as satisfactory as that may feel — take a second to breathe.

Bray would prefer you work to understand "why they don't post, rather than assuming your partner is keep you a secret." If you discover the latter to be true, follow your instincts and let that person go because you don't deserve that!

Do you think it's healthier for couples to keep certain aspects of their relationship private?

Everyone has a different view of what makes a romantic relationship healthy, so this is one of those things Bray says, "absolutely depends on the couple" because some "genuinely enjoy sharing their lives online." You've probably seen your share of couples who make cute content together whether they're married or not. I'd be lying if I said I don't specifically keep up with a few whose content makes me smile.

But, other couples may not be interested in sharing their relationship online because they "want to be private and keep the relationship free from the judgements or opinions of others," according to Bray. That's not to say they have something to hide, though. Instead, think of it as a personal preference.

"As long as both partners are on the same page and it’s not a source of tension, it’s all about finding the balance that works for them. If it starts to feel like a performance for likes rather than genuine connection, though, that’s where it can become problematic," Bray reminds.

How can someone bring up their partner's posting habits without sounding accusatory?

You may feel eager about posting about your partner while they're less enthusiastic and this could make you feel upset. It's easy to jump to conclusions when you're already upset, but Bray feels "tone is everything." Ironically, she suggests something I've heard in therapy sessions and that's "to be curious, not confrontational." Hopefully this stopped you in your tracks if you were ready to give your partner a piece of your mind.

"You can say something like, 'Hey, I’ve noticed we haven’t shared much about each other on social media? What’s your take on sharing stuff about us online?' It’s important to frame it as a mutual exploration of rather than a demand for a public declaration," Bray points out.

What would you tell someone who wants to emulate couples who consistently post content together?

We've all seen couples who we think have the cutest relationship, even though we've never met them before. As much as you may admire a couple, Bray thinks it's a "slipper slope" if you want to try to recreate their online moments. "I’d encourage someone to focus more on what makes their own relationship feel fulfilling, rather than chasing #couplesgoals," she encourages.

However, this isn't a sign that you're not supposed to ever share anything about your partner or relationship! "If posting together feels fun and real, go for it! But if it starts feeling like a performance or that you are in competition with other couples, it's probably good to take a step back," she warns.

Also, keep in mind that social media doesn't show you every single moment of couples' lives so don't worry about trying to look picture perfect based on a 30 second to 30 minute video.

1. Full Coverage Foundation

There was a time where wearing full-coverage foundation was all the rage. From drugstore to high-end brands, it seems like they were consistently shoved in consumers’ faces to help us achieve a ‘full beat’ without sitting in a makeup artist’s chair. Also, those of us with dark spots or hyperpigmentation may have relied on them when we were in the thick of our skincare woes.

But these days, wearing too much foundation isn’t as popular as natural and skincare makeup are prioritized. If anything, more people are interested in wearing light-to-medium coverage foundation, skin tints, or tinted moisturizers.

2. Too Much Concealer

It wasn’t until I watched this video by makeup artist Katie Jane Hughes that I realized some of us have been too heavy-handed with our concealers. There’s no reason we should be slapping products under the thinnest parts of our face, but we didn’t know any better!

Now that you know you can still get the desired effect with a minimal amount of concealer, don’t revert back to painting your under eyes!

3. 'Baking' Your Setting Powder

Before you throw away your setting powders, step away from your makeup drawer and have a sit-down chat with me. There isn’t anything wrong with applying them to your face to help ‘set’ your foundation and concealer. However, spending over 10 minutes ‘baking’ your powder (AKA letting it sit untouched) doesn’t work for everyone.

It can lead to creased makeup which can derail your look, plus it’s a pain to correct when you’re halfway through your routine!

4. Overlining Lips

I love a good lip liner, especially if it mirrors my favorite ‘90s makeup look. But, there’s such a thing as overdoing it. The key to lining your lips is following the natural flow of them. Going out of your way to draw above and under your lips’ lines comes off as comical and exaggerated. If anything, use a lip plumping gloss to help your lips look fuller.

5. Overtweezing Your Eyebrows

I don’t even have the words for this outdated makeup look besides wanting to say “no” 20 times in a row. But, I’ll bite and say why this shouldn’t be on your 2025 beauty moodboard.

Some people naturally have thinner eyebrows which is A-okay! However, purposely tweezing your eyebrows to smithereens is cringey. If you truly want to wear this look, here’s what you can do instead of tweezing:

• Create a faux bleached look by applying a skin tone colored setting powder all over your brows.
• Once they’ve ‘disappeared,’ take an eyebrow pencil or eyeliner to draw a thin line over them.

I’m…wondering what the ramifications of telling you how to do this will be, but only use go for this look if it’s a part of a themed party…like Halloween.

6. Exaggerated Highlighter On Cheeks

The shimmery look is in since it’s winter, but please don’t make it look like you dipped your cheeks into a vat of glitter. You can lightly dust highlighter onto your cheeks for a more natural glow that flows with the rest of your look. Otherwise you’ll look like a walking disco ball which could be the opposite of what you were going for.

7. Heavy Contour Or Bronzer

I know the ‘sculpted’ look is popular, but too much contour or bronzer can overpower the rest of your makeup and face. While it’s not impossible to fix if you do it by mistake, using the wrong shade of contour or bronzer may still peep through no matter how much you try to buff it out.

When in doubt, be gentle with your contour or bronzer application!

8. Incredibly Matte Makeup

Matte makeup that didn’t budge was the ‘It Girl’ look for oily and combination skin girls! We thought it was the answer to our skin’s incessant need to hydrate our faces instead of actually using skincare products that focused on combatting that issue (psst…Vitamin C serums help!).

But now’s the time to break up with this look for good for one reason: dewy skin looks healthier.