12 Essentials Every Stationery Lover Needs

The Best Beauty Gifts For The Sister Who Loves Maintaining Her Physical Appearance

T3 Aire 360 Ceramic Air Styler Blowout Kit

Your sister's wash day routine won't be the same once you introduce her to this blowout kit. Before I got boho braids, I decided to use it to dry my natural hair and it literally cut my blowdrying time in half! I have thick coils so it usually takes a while for me to gently stretch my hair without damaging it, but not anymore!

This kit includes:

• Aire 360 Base
• 2 Curling Attachments (Left and Right)
• Oval Brush Attachment
• SoftAire® Drying Concentrator
• Storage Tote

I personally love the drying concentrator and the oval brush attachment because they give me the softest blowout I've ever had!

Calista Tools The Classic Volume Duo

If your sister already has the perfect curling iron and blow dryer, you can still gift her something that boosts her hair. Calista Tools' Classic Volume Duo includes a pro heated round brush and the embellish flex spray to create the same look she'd get with the T3 Aire 360 Ceramic Air Styler Blowout Kitfor a fraction of the price.

Kora Organics Turmeric Brightening Trio

Give your sister the gift of powerful antioxidants in skincare form this year! Kora Organics has so many products that boosts skin's glow — trust me — so this brightening trio is a great place to start for anyone.

The set includes:

• Turmeric Glow Foaming Cleanser
• Turmeric Brightening & Exfoliating Mask
• Turmeric Glow Moisturizer

Nakery Beauty Lift Tox Multi-Power Firming Rich Cream

It's almost winter so it's possible your sister's skin will need help maintaining it's elasticity. Tell her there's no need to lose it because Nakery Beauty's Firming Rich Cream is packed full of good ingredients to help her. There's things like Vegetable Collagen and Plant Stem Cells that work to promote a healthy skin barrier, meaning your sister will be glowing well into the new year.

Ole Henriksen Pre-Party Glow Set

No one will have excuses for skipping their pre-party skincare routine thanks to Ole Henriksen. This Vitamin C trio will not only target pores, but it'll keep those under eyes looking amazing too. Here's what's included:

• Banana Bright + Instant Glow Moisturizer
• Banana Bright + Eye Crème
• Banana Bright Vitamin C Serum

EADEM The Even Skin Set

Has your sister been complaining about her stubborn dark spots? She'll love if you surprise her with EADEM's Even Skin Set! She'll get the following:

• Dew Dream: A yummy cleansing balm that removes all makeup and other icky things from skin
• Cashmere Peel: A gentle exfoliant that specifically targets dark spots
• Milk Marvel: A creamy serum especially created for BIPOC skin that struggles with dark spots
• Cloud Cushion: A ultra hydrating moisturizer that 'cushions' skin

Fur Full Frontal Set

Has your sister been looking for the perfect bikini waxafter-care? Tell her to get intimate with Fur's Full Frontal Set! It's dedicated to providing the softest skin that doesn't suffer from inflammation and ingrown hairs which sounds like my kind of party. All products have been gynecologically tested, so they're 100% safe!

The set includes:

• Fur Oil
• Ingrown Concentrate
• Stubble Cream

Supergoop! Endless Glow SPF Set

Don't tell me it's 2024 and your sister still hasn't found a sunscreen she loves. *Sigh* Okay, lean in closer so I can hold your hand while I talk about the Supergoop! Endless Glow SPF Set. Besides being TSA-friendly, this gift will add an extra glow to your sister's visage and I know she'll love that.

She'll get:

• Glow Screen Sunrise SPF 40
• Glow Stick SPF 50
• Soothing Oil

Tower 28 Mini Lil Softies Tinted Lip Treatment

I've been wearing Tower 28's 'Ube Vanilla' shade in their Tinted Lip Treatment and I can't get enough. This means your sister deserves to know about this miniature set! Unlike other lip oilsand treatments, this formula isn't sticky whatsoever! It has shea butter, jojoba oil, and lysine in it to provide a super kissable pout.

P.S. I've noticed that my lips are visibly softer and haven't been peeling or cracking as much since I've been wearing this!

Kulfi Five Minute Face Set

Your sister's a busy woman who's always rushing it seems. If you've ever witnessed her applying makeup in the car while she's driving, save her (and traffic) from mishaps by gifting her Kulfi's Five Minute Face Set. She'll get the following:

• Clear Brow Gel
• Staining Lip Oil (First Sari looks amazing)
• Concealer
• Blush (I've got my eye on Sandalwood Swirls)

Beautyblender Power Pocket Puff

Celebrity Makeup Artist Natalie Dresher has nothing but rave reviews about this cute pocket puff! She says, "My absolute favorite tool for on the go mattification (is that a word? Or did I just coin that?). A must have for those going out for special events, it’s compact and fits in the tiniest of purses."

LYS Beauty Mini Higher Standard Cream Glow Blush Set

Why commit to just one blush when you can have three? At least that's what I think you'll say to your sister when she opens this cute gift. I love that it's by a black-owned brand, but I'm even more excited that these blushes are vegan. They have kaolin clay, avocado oil, and vitamin E in them which has all the makings of a smooth, hydrating finish.

Armani Beauty Eye Tint Long-Lasting Liquid Eyeshadow

Dresher says, "One swipe and your eyeshadow is done with these Armani Beauty eye tints. They are user friendly and even the most beginner makeup user can figure out how to apply these! I love shade 67S Sparkle because it looks great on all skin tones making it a universal shade."

Stila Cosmetics Meet the Icons 4-Piece Set

You think your sister's iconic, right? I sure think my sister is so I''d love to add this to the running list of gifts I'm choosing for her. Everything is, once again, TSA-friendly, so your sister can take everything with her at all times.

She'll love getting:

• Stay All Day Waterproof Liquid Eye Liner in Intense Black
• Full-size Huge Extreme Lash Mascara (Jet Black)
• Full-size Convertible Color Dual Lip & Cheek Cream in Lillium (Nude Pink)
• Travel-size Shimmer & Glow Liquid Eye Shadow in best-loved shade, Kitten (Shimmering Nude Pink)

Velour Beauty Effortless Magnetic Kit

Your sister's a self-professed beauty queen who hasn't mastered the delicate art of applying false lashes, right? I know so I'm including this cute stocking stuffer idea! This kit is phenomenal because the eyeliner and magnetic strips will do all the work for her!

Gold In My Veins Press-On Nails

I've been wearing these press-on nails for the past two weeks because they're the best I've ever worn. I personally think you should gift your glamorous sister these cuties before Christmas because she'll want to have something nice on her nails when she goes to take holiday pictures.

Cult Gaia Mast Eau De Parfum

If your sister has been looking for a new fragrance that she and others will love, I'm sure she'll fall in love with Cult Gaia's new scent, 'Mast.' It's a mix of Italian Bergamot and tropical coconut — two blends that make me want to spray on every piece of clothing I have!.

I really love that your sister won't have to fret about parabens, sulfates, BHA, mineral oils or other formaldehydes! I mean, clean beauty is truly the way to go!

Scent Beauty Sweet Tooth by Sabrina Carpenter Eau de Parfum

Does your sister love the sweet blend of gourmands and florals? If you answered yes, you absolutely have to gift her Sabrina Carpenter's Sweet Tooth Eau de Parfum. It smells like a decadent blend of cherries, chocolate, vanilla orchid, musk, and a few other things that'll make her smell divine.

Valentino Born In Roma The Gold Eau de Toilette

Not everyone loves wam or musky scents, including your sister. She may enjoy something that smells 'fresh' which is why Valentino's Born In Roma fragrance will work for her. It'll remind her a little of summer, helping to keep some of seasonal depression away.

Étoile Duo Vanity Case

Your sister's going to need somewhere safe to store her new beauty goodies while traveling so make sure you gift her Étoile's Duo Vanity Case. It's eco-friendly, makeup-proof, and includes a portable mirror. Tell her to be careful if she decides to pack a couple of skincare products because oils can stain it.

Lily England Beauty Gift Set

Did I just find the best beauty gift set for those who consider their beauty routines to be a form of self-care? I think so! It features two detangling tools, an eye mask, scalp massager, and more! If your sister doesn't get weak in the knees once she unwraps this, you can always sneak a few things from it.

I'm kidding...or am I?

The Best Style Gifts For The Bougie Sister Who Slays All Year

Oomiay Gold Bubble Initial Letter Necklace

Sometimes big sisters aren't a huge fan of flashy jewelry, but that doesn't mean you have to stay away from dainty pieces! Oomiay has so many cute options that will fit her style, like this bubble initial letter necklace! I'm currently wearing one and I only take it off when I have to shower! It's sturdy and fits perfectly in the middle of the chest, making it the only necklace your sister will want to wear.

The Sage Vintage Gold Dainty Custom Charm Bracelet

Does your sister prefer charm bracelets over necklaces? Your best bet is buying her one from The Sage Vintage! You'll be able to customize the charms based on things your sister likes and surprise her with something that feels 100% personalized.

Nike Free Metcon 6

Give your bestie since birth this so-comfortable trainer so she can kick bootie in her cardio classes all year long.

Charles Keith Hannah Textured Fur-Trimmed Mules

I'm biased about fur-trimmed mules because they're almost always comfortable and warm. Plus, they keep outfits casual when anyone is truly going for that "off-duty" look. These mules are suede so they'll add a touch of playful texture to whatever your sister chooses to wear.

The Best Self-Care Gifts For The Busy Sister Who Needs A Staycation 

Stanley 40 Oz Quencher Tumbler

Staying hydrated is one of the best ways anyone can boost their wellbeing which is why your busy sister needs a Stanley Tumbler. She can't survive on coffee alone — even if she thinks she can! This tumbler is actually in collaboration with e.l.f. Cosmetics so you know the color payoff and water intake are the best things your sister needs to help power through her day.

Allura & Arcia Stress Relief & SelfCare Cards

I'm not going to pretend self-care is easy because there are some days you and your sister aren't going to be in the mood. If it seems like your sister has forgotten how to take care of herself and fan the relaxation fans, surprise her with these stress relief cards. She'll be provided with an activity, it's objectives, and ways to implement it in her daily routine!

Skims Cozy Knit Unisex Robe

It's time for your sister to have an unparalleled spa day at home. Your only job is to gift her this Cozy Knit Unisex Robe from Skims! Not only is this robe super comfy, but it's also leopard print! I'm telling you now, your sister needs this.

Sleepy Tie The Original

Cute hair ties do exist because Sleepy Tie knows your sister needs a new option that doesn't have any rubber exist. She'll be glad to have this as a stocking stuffer because it'll protect her silk press or whatever holiday hairstyles she plans to wear this month.

Lucky Bear Spa Headband And Wristlets Set

Your sister's days of getting her hair and the sleeves of her shirt wet are over because you're absolutely getting her this spa set. I would ask, but I already know this is at the top of your gift idea list for her because you can't get enough of it.

Good Molecules Yerba Mate Wake Up Eye Gel

My bias is showing with this gift idea, but I'm sharing it anyway! After a while, everyone needs a good eye product to keep dark circles at bay. If your sister is pulling late nights because she's studying or has to wake up with a newborn, she absolutely needs Good Molecules' Yerba Mate Wake Up Eye Gel. It helps bring much needed life back into the under eye area and even plumps the delicate skin back up.

The Sleep Guard Pure Silk Sleep Mask

When your sister's done placing her new eye gel on her eyes, make sure she opens the other gift that contains this Pure Silk Sleep Mask. It'll block out light and make sure her eyes stay protected.

BEDELITE Satin Pillowcase

While you're at it, throw in a satin pillowcase for good measure. It's good for reducing frizz and breakage, especially if your sister has naturally curly hair or braids!

The Best Home & Kitchen Gifts For The Sister Whose House Is Cozy

KitchenAid 5qt 10-Speed Stand Mixer

If your sister is always on cooking or baking duty, save the strength of her arms by investing in a KitchenAid Stand Mixer. She'll lose her mind over the 10 attachments that come with it and the depth of the mixer itself.

P.S. It's by Hearth & Hand Magnolia which may also score you the best sibling award if she loves this brand!

Tabitha Brown 8qt Digital Air Fryer

Wait, an air fryer under $100 exists and it's available at Target? Yes! Tabitha Brown's exclusive collection has so many goodies, but I just know your sister likely doesn't have time to think about making elaborate meals multiple times per week. Ease her mind with this digital fryer that'll let her roast, dehydrate, or even reheat meals!

Your sister will probably brag about her weekly dinners once she starts using this, but she can because "that's her business!"

BOLA Grill Master

If your sister wants to practice grilling without lugging around something heavy, she'll absolutely love the BOLA Grill Master. Though it looks tiny, it's filled with amazing features that will make everyone want to gather at her house for barbecues and even Thanksgiving. From it's cast iron grate to the thermometer that reads up to 900° F, this is a gift that keeps on giving!

All Modern Paneled Coupe Cocktail Glasses (Set of 4)

How cute are these cocktail glasses? They're going to look so good on your sister's counter during her annual Christmas party.

Ruggable Frances Vintage Teal Blue Rug

If your sister's favorite rug has been dismantled by her pets or kids, she may have mentioned how she's in the market for something that won't show as many stains. Though it's more of a big ticket item, Ruggable's Frances Vintage Teal Blue Rug was made with your sister in mind.

It's one of those rugs that instantly gives a room personality and gets better with time. It's spill-proof, but she can still wash it if she feels like it needs to be refreshed!

Sweet July Alma Throw

It's cozy season so your sister needs a couple of throw blankets to choose from. I actually can't get enough of Sweet July's Alma design because it's so abstract and goes with any design aesthetic. It's also reversible so she can lighten or darken the mood as she sees fit!

Baloo Weighted Blanket

I've recently invested in a weighted blanket and I'm not sure what I was doing before. This takes sleepmaxxing to another level so I'm sure your sister will appreciate it! It's sustainably made, but that. doesn't mean it's not washer friendly! She'll enjoy how easy it is to fall asleep and clean one of the best blankets on the market. Again, trust me!

Piglet Botanical Green Gingham Linen Duvet Cover

Green is one of the best calming colors IMO and it's probably why I can't get enough of it during this chapter of my life. If your sister's been looking to create an oasis in her bedroom, she'll appreciate this gingham linen duvet cover from Piglet. It works well during every season and is free from harmful dyes or chemicals. Sounds like a solid win in my book!

Preston Lane The Deluxe 3-Wick Candle

What's a home decor gift without a scented candle? I'm not sure I want to find out so don't make your sister suffer! Gift her the warm and inviting scents of bergamot, fresh lime, Jasmine, tuberose, sandalwood, and cedar. It'll even match her new throw or weighted blanket.

Threshold Medium Faux Wood Table Lamp

I know your sister spends her nights reading a book instead of binge watching new shows sometimes so make sure she has a cute lamp on her bedside table. I personally have this same lamp on my desk and it's so soothing when I'm working in the morning instead of opening my blinds or turning on a bright overhead light.

The Best Motherhood Gifts For The Sister Who's Giving Birth In 2025

OWSUMER New Mom Candle

Do I love uplifting moms? Uh, yes! They deserve so much love and tenderness considering all of the things they have to endure. If your sister has recently joined motherhood or is a seasoned mom who's expecting, this candle will bring a smile to her face. I promise you she'll never forget unwrapping it and knowing you're the one who gifted her this!

Unboxme Gifts Cloud Socks

Moms are often getting up and down for various reasons, so make sure your sister has something cozy on her feet like these cloud socks. They'll provide a nice barrier between her feet and the carpet or hardwood floors she has to cross to find a snack or break up a little sibling quarrel.

EverFoams Fuzzy Open-Toe Slippers

If she doesn't care for wearing socks around the house, you can always gift your sister these cute slippers. They're open-toe, making them the fuzzy, breathable footwear she'll love padding around in.

KeaBabies Pregnancy Journal

I'll never forget when my sister gifted me a pregnancy journal when I was pregnant with my son. I still have it and love reviewing different moments from it. Plus, I always think about how it was such a nice gesture from my sister.

From one former pregnant mama to your eyes and ears, this is something you can give your sister if she's currently expecting. She'll always look at it and remember the moment she unwrapped it.

MomCozy Breast Therapy Packs

It doesn't matter if your sister is on team breastfeeding or not, her boobs are going to be sore during and after pregnancy — blame it on the hormones. She'll need something soothing in her bra to help combat any aches and pains so please get her these therapy packs.

Fourth Trimester Mama Affirmation Cards

The fourth trimester aka postpartum can be really tough for some moms. If your sister has recently given birth and is struggling, don't be afraid to let one of her gifts be these affirmation cards. She'll need reminders that she's not only doing a great job, but that she deserves to be patient with herself.

Got You a Little Something Happy Hour Activity Cards

I so wish I would've discovered these activity cards during my sister's last pregnancy, but all that matters is that they're in my orbit now! In addition to affirmation cards, helping your sister rediscover things she likes post-birth is such a huge way of showing her that you still her as a person outside of motherhood.

The Happy Planner 2025 Western Wildflower Planner

No matter how much your sister says she won't forget something as a new mom, she will. But, it's not your job to point out the obvious. Instead, surprise her with this planner she'll feel inspired to write down everything in!

Dyson Special Edition Airwrap Multi-Styler

The Dyson Airwrap is like the Lamborghini of hair tools. It's bougie, for sure, but it's oh-so good. This premier hair tool can dry and style strands simultaneously, all without heat damage. Mom can easily customize her hairstyle with the 6 attachments – she'll never need another blow dryer in her lifetime.

Fellow Stagg EKG Pro Studio Electric Gooseneck Kettle

I use this kettle every single day, so I can confidently say it's well worth the splurge. If your mom's a major tea (or coffee!) drinker, she'll appreciate that this kettle heats up quickly, can hold its contents at a custom temperature for however long she wants, and provides a very even pour. It also just looks like a total work of art when it's sitting on the countertop, so it won't mess up whatever feng shui she's already got goin' on in her kitchen.

UGG Tasman Slippers

As reliable as a gift house shoes can be, giving her a pair that'll actually last is a way better choice than opting for cheaper styles that'll crap out after a few months of use. These UGG slippers are super durable, thanks to their grippy outsoles. That way, she's not relegated to only wearing them inside the house – she can easily take them outside to check the mail or run errands. If your mom lives somewhere where it gets extremely cold in the winter, these wool-lined bad boys will also keep her toesies ultra-warm!

Soft Services Smoothing Set

Mom's new skincare routine is loading! This trio helps revive dry, flaky skin with a gentle exfoliating bar that doesn't dramatically strip the skin's moisture, a soothing gel exfoliant for the bod, and a lightweight lotion that delivers deep hydration for softer skin. Soft Services' packaging is also so beautiful and feels like a nice, somewhat-bougie upgrade from the products your mama may use on the daily.

e.l.f. Celestial Winter 10-Piece Eyeshadow Palette

I know my mom goes crazy for an eyeshadow palette, which is why this one from e.l.f. caught my eye. Inspired by a winter's night sky, this 10-shade palette hosts the ideal mix of warm and cool tones, plus a good variety of matte, shimmer, and metallic hues. The range of this palette makes it a great fit for any eye color, too. This will allow her to create so many different looks in one easy-to-use product!

BrüMate Era Straw Tumbler Water Bottle

I like to think of this water bottle as the famed Stanley tumbler but (dare I say it) so much better. I sip from it on the daily to hit my daily water intake goals, and it's an absolute delight – I know your mom will think so, too! What I love most about it is the leakproof lid. And it's not just one of those leakproof lids that's not actually leakproof, it really lives up to its name: I haven't spilled once! Plus, this bottle's stainless steel lining helps keep its contents cold for over 24 hours for an ice-cold sip every single time.

Baggu Large Nylon Sling Bag

If your mother is a lady on the go, there's no question she's in need of a large bag to help her tote her stuff around. This pick from Baggu will definitely earn her major style points, as it emulates a lot of the trendy bucket bags we're seeing rise in popularity. I like that it offers the convenience of a large tote bag without the taxing upkeep of leather or suede – Baggu's signature nylon material is easily machine-washable when it's time for a refresh! This bag comes in 5 different colors so you can track down the one that really suits her vibe.

Dieux Glow Trinity Skin Set

Every single skincare product from Dieux is super gentle, yet effective. This set includes their Baptism cleanser, Deliverance serum, and Instant Angel moisturizer, which all work wonders on their own, but operate better together. The cleanser is my personal favorite of the three – it always leaves my face feeling clean without really stripping any of its existing moisture. This power trio will save mom's dry winter skin in an instant!

Breda Jane Bracelet Watch

Is it a bracelet? Is it a watch? This time, it's both. This style from Breda feels especially jewelry-like, but offers practical use by telling the time. I like how minimalistic the design is – mom will be able to rock it across all different kinds of looks, from workdays to dinner parties. The 14k-gold plate, quartz, and mother-of-pearl construction make it perfectly elevated and elegant as a gift.

Quince Mongolian Cashmere Crewneck Sweater

A good cashmere sweater can run you upwards of $100, but this style is just $50. Plus, it comes in 14 different colors. Mom will want to bathe in its "irresistibly soft" fabric all winter long!

Uncommon Goods Modular Honeycomb Serving Set

This is the coolest gift idea for the hostess with the mostess! This innovative serving set connects magnetically, so mom can fashion it however she pleases. From busy get-togethers to chill movie nights at home, she'll be able to set out snacks in perhaps the most aesthetically-pleasing way possible. Once the snacking's over, each component conveniently stacks on top of one another for easy storage!

SeaVees Acorn Trainer Sneakers

Step up mom's shoe game with these sleek sneaks! I promise they're going to be one of the softest shoes she's ever (literally) step foot in. Though super lightweight, the thick, cushiony memory foam footbeds of these sneakers provide unparalleled comfort and support. Plus, the '90s-inspired sporty silhouette can work with a variety of outfits, thanks to the chilled-out color palette.

Flamingo Estate Roma Heirloom Tomato Candle

'Heaven in a candle' is the only way I can accurately describe this scent. Encapsulating of "balmy summer nights in the garden, where tomatoes hang heavy from freshly watered vines and the leaves become their most fragrant," it burns the most delicious herby, peppery, potent smell. This makes a refreshing gift for the moms out there that simply can't stand floral- or vanilla-forward candles!

Ember Temperature Control Smart Mug

Mom is too good for microwaved coffee. Help her keep her brew fresh with this self-warming mug! It can keep 14 ounces of liquid warm for up to 80 minutes on a single charge, or even a full day if she keeps it connected to the coordinating coaster. The set-up itself is very compact, so it can fit on her desk fuss-free.

1. We thought our first love was perfect and would argue with anyone who wanted us to take things slow with them.

I'll never forget the first time I fell in love at 19. I thought my ex was the "wind beneath my wings" because he had a great sense of humor and was creative like me. I told myself he was the person I was going to marry so I was offended when my parents didn't think he was mature enough to be in a serious relationship. If this sounds familiar, pull up a chair because Menon explains why we tend to idealize our first love.

"Your first love is your first experience with romantic love too, hence you typically see it with rose-colored glasses. The overwhelming emotion is often infatuation, which tends to overshadow the more critical and analytical part of our brain," she says. Sadly, this sounds like something my parents told me before but I couldn't fathom how true it was as a teen.

As the Clinical Director at Southern California Sunrise Recovery Center, Cavins has seen this play out before too. He says, "In your first relationship, there is a tendency to put your partner on a pedestal. The excitement of new love can create a powerful emotional fog that makes it hard to see flaws clearly."

Essentially, this "excitement of having a boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner supersedes" our ability to questions things we normally wouldn't put up with, according to Menon.

2. We tried to ignore the how many times our first loves disagreed with our values or goals.

While some couples are able to make their relationship work despite having a different outlook on life, sometimes it can be a sign that things aren't going to work long-term. Cavins says, "One major red flag is disregarding differences in values or goals for the future. For instance, you wish to become a parent someday while your spouse swears this will never happen— or vice versa. Early on, you might dismiss these differences, believing love will conquer all. However, these mismatched priorities can lead to resentment and challenges over time."

Honestly, I probably should've ran whenever my ex would mock my belief in God only for us to have to attend his mother and stepfather's church whenever I visited. There was so much confusion there, but I tried to dismiss it as something he needed time to work out.

Menon adds, "If this relationship makes you feel like you'e standing in quick sand - where you are trying to move forward but often feel held back in your individual aspirations, it may not be the right fit for you."

3. We thought it was 'cute' when our first loves made suggestions about which friends to avoid or what clothes to wear.

Cavins says, "Excessively possessive behaviors are another red flag that people often ignore easily when they fall in love for the first time. People tend to justify such behaviors by citing that it's due to love or protective instincts." I'm all for being in a relationship where your partner's able to see different sides of a picture, but controlling behavior shouldn't come with that. What might that look like?

Cavins says, "Your partner may frequently check in on you, offer opinions on who you should spend time with, or subtly pressure you into making choices that suit them." For example, your partner could start off making suggestions about your style that slowly morph into them controlling everything you wear. Somehow I went from being a self-professed 'girly-girl' to trying to emulate the style of 'sneakerheads' in a short amount of time. Though I love wearing everything from New Balance to Niké sneakers now, it's in a way that feels cohesive with my style.

You may have brushed this kind of behavior off because, again, you thought it meant your first love wanted the best for you. "It is understandable that such behavior hypothetically may come off as pleasant or affirming; however, they often signal an unhealthy dynamic of control rather than mutual respect," says

4. We always gave in when our first loves forced us to be affectionate.

*Sigh* I'm shaking my head for my younger self because there were many times I didn't advocate for myself in my first romantic relationship. I'd often give in to affectionate or intimate moments despite wanting personal space so I wouldn't be seen as 'boring' or uninterested in my ex. Menon says, "Given the infatuation, your first relationship can feel all-consuming and often is codependent. Hence, this may result in you overlooking that your partner does not respect your boundaries or desire for personal space."

Partly because the excitement of the relationship makes you want to spend all of your time together, until you don't. And then, it is often too late to correct a maladaptive historical pattern.

4. We always made excuses for why our partners would shower us with affection only to ignore us days later.

Let's be clear, 'love bombing' feels confusing and awful. No one should make you feel like you're the center of their universe only to ignore your calls or texts days later. But, this probably happened while you were with your first love. Cavins says, "There's a tendency for people to brush off their first love's emotional unavailability. When, for example, a partner is not responsive and not engaging in intimate discussions or does not express their feelings, some may rationalize this as them being 'just not ready.'" If that were the case, this person wouldn't have made you feel like being with you is something they truly wanted.

Of that, Cavins believes "it's important to recognize these behaviors early" because "they can result in a one-side emotional investment that leaves one party feeling unfulfilled in the long run." Sadly, my first love would have days where he was super sweet to me only to feel like I was smothering him with attention. This is also the same person who begged me to remain in our romantic relationship when he went to basic training although I felt it would be better if we chose to be friends. Imagine my surprise (and hurt) when he told me we should have an open relationship months after getting stationed for the first time.

I should've known better because he was never 100% on board with the idea of marriage until after he graduated from basic training. Cavins calls this "emotional disconnectedness." His further explanation is this is "when the initial chemistry between the partners subsides that emotional attachment matters." To avoid this, he feels "identifying and addressing any of these is critical in a case where you are looking to create a strong and healthy bond."

5. We ignored the ways our former partner blamed us whenever they got in trouble with their parents or an authority figure.

Did your first love have a hard time taking responsibility for things that went wrong by gaslighting you to absorb the blow of their mistakes? If you've furiously nodding, we should start a support group. Cavins says, "A key sign is a lack of personal or relational growth. Healthy relationships encourage mutual development, but if one partner stays stuck in old patterns while the other grows, it can create frustration and distance."

At no point should you be the reason why your first love got in trouble after answering their parents' house phone late at night after telling you to call at a certain time. It's situations like this that should've alerted us to awful behavior, but I can see how easy it is to dismiss things.

What if I'm in love for the first time and recognize these signs?

First, my heart goes out to you for being in a relationship that doesn't feel healthy. It hurts when we realize the person we thought was so great is anything but. The road to letting go of idealization may be long, but you can and will get better. Cavins says, "In the process of self-healing and recovery, the first step that must be taken is self-reflection. Ask yourself all of the necessary questions that arise, such as what this relationship means for you, what your boundaries are, and what this partnership has revealed about you as an individual."

I keep saying this, but relying on journal prompts can help you unpack a lot of things and, thankfully, Cavins agrees. He says, "You could always opt to talk to a specialist or being journaling in order to find some closure and draw meaning from the experience." Also, he wants you to start "making new memories." But, don't be passive about it.

"You will have to engage yourself in activities that will help redirect the focus of your thoughts. This could include joining a new class, engaging in a hobby, or traveling that involves some independence. These experiences can help shift your mindset from loss to growth and reinforce your identity outside of the relationship," says Cavins.

Another important thing you can do is "solicit help from others," according to him. "Calling on people you trust, like friends and family, to talk about these feelings can significantly help in healing," he says. This also helped me navigate life outside of my first real romantic relationship, reminding me that I still had a lot of love in my life that didn't begin or end with my ex.

Here are Menon's tips:

• Let yourself grieve — Let this loss run its course. If you need to feel angry, sad, distraught, nostalgic. Allow yourself the full breadth of this experience. If I ask you right now "don't think a out a yellow monkey", I can bet you just thought of a yellow monkey. We call this "the imp of the mind". When you reject feelings, or thoughts, they come back 10 times more fiercely. To move the feeling along, we must let ourselves experience it.
• Rediscover your identity (So important) — Your first love is often intertwined with self-discovery, and identity formation. Reconsider your goals, interests, values, friendships and hobbies and try to build your own sense of identity and individuality.

I saw my first love again and it feels like we're falling in love all over. Can we have a happy and healthy relationship?

I'm not going to tell you to run even though I told my ex I never wanted to speak or talk to him again. You could easily reconnect with the first person you fell in love with and realize that you're both in a place where you can have something beautiful. However, Cavins and Menon want you to be mindful if you're in this position.

"Reconnection is possible," begins Menon, "if both parties can objectively claim that they have grown emotionally and resolved the issues that held their relationship back." But, "if the reconnection is built on one person growing and the other not, it is likely to fail," she alerts. You'll need to "proceed with caution," she says because "your first love was a nostalgic era in your life that can cloud your judgement." To put it more clearly, she doesn't want you confuse "the fuzzies" with a "true knowing that the two of you can make it work."

Cavins says, "Reconnecting with a first love can trigger a strong wave of emotions, but it is important that such a decision is made with caution and a strong sense of pragmatism. Personal growth is a primary factor. Each party in the relationship must ask themselves how they have grown and evolved as individuals over time. If past patterns of conflict, immaturity, or unhealthy dynamics remain unaddressed, the same issues could resurface."

He wants you to consider these things:

• Are there any active relationships or past engagements that would make it rather difficult? That's because the feelings that come with reigniting old flames are very strong and can alter a person’s life, making it essential to start thinking from all angles before going ahead with it.
• Address previous challenges that caused the breakup in the first place. If the reasons behind the breakup have been resolved or do not exist anymore, then yes, meeting again has its prospects. However, keep in mind that, at times, memories can be selective and unfavorably distort the truth by overplaying the good qualities while avoiding the negative ones.
• Only rekindle things if both individuals are in a healthy emotional state and the decision is grounded in practical, mutual considerations—not just sentimentality or romanticized memories. Clear and honest discussions and an understanding of purpose are vital in ascertaining if rekindling the relationship will be worthwhile for both parties or if it will simply be an act of revisiting unresolved emotions.