5 Street Style-Inspired Vacation Outfits You Can Totally Copy
Jul 26, 2018
Books can really transport you to other worlds, all just through the power of words — but what if you used those words to inspire your actual travels? The Zimmerman Agency curated a list of everywhere you should vacation in 2025, based on your fave BookTok reads! From tropical getaways to cozy winter wonderlands, there really is an escape for every kind of traveller...and every kind of reader! Don't believe us? Check it out!
Amazon | Duarte Dellarole
The Layover by Lacie Waldon is a breezy, fun romance novel that captures the thrill of unexpected travel. It follows Ava, a flight attendant whose "one last layover" takes her to Belize, where she unexpectedly finds adventure, self-discovery, and romance (calling all enemies to lovers fans!). Waldon paints Belize as a paradise of turquoise waters and lush jungles — a place where spontaneity and beauty meet—and that couldn’t be truer. Inspired by their escapades, start with a snorkeling trip to the Belize Barrier Reef, the second largest in the world (just don’t miss the boat back like Ava and Jack), then venture over to Hopkins to witness the magical bioluminescence. For a taste of local culture, visit San Pedro on Ambergris Caye, a lively town full of charming shops, colorful street art, and beach bars. Bound to inspire readers to seek out their own Belizean adventure, The Layover reminds us that sometimes, the best journeys come when we’re willing to let go of the itinerary and explore.
Amazon | The Madison
If you're a fan of Red, White, & Royal Blue, then Le Méridien Washington, D.C., The Madison is the perfect spot for your next getaway. Nestled in the heart of the nation’s capital and four blocks away from the White House, this chic and stylish hotel offers a blend of contemporary elegance and historic charm, echoing the story’s themes of romance, politics, and royal intrigue. Imagine strolling along the National Mall, taking in iconic landmarks just like Alex and Henry did in the book, and then retreating to your luxurious room at Le Méridien The Madison, where you can unwind with views of the Washington Monument. Whether you’re exploring the vibrant arts scene, sipping craft cocktails at Lady Madison, or enjoying the sophisticated ambiance, Le Méridien The Madison provides a backdrop that brings the world of Red, White, & Royal Blue to life in the best way possible.
Amazon | The Kimpton Brice Hotel
Located in the heart of historic Savannah, The Kimpton Brice Hotel sits in the very district where Weezie Foley's journey begins in Savannah Blues. As an antique picker, Weezie would undoubtedly appreciate The Kimpton Brice's rich history, having once served as a livery stable, cotton warehouse, and Coca-Cola bottling plant, dating back to the 1860s. This boutique hotel embodies Southern charm, inviting guests to enjoy the brick courtyard strung with lights {known as the Secret Garden} and the meandering bookshelves arranged by color — a nod to Savannah’s literary roots. Just steps from the enchanting streets depicted in Savannah Blues, The Kimpton Brice offers an inviting retreat where guests can relax, unwind, and immerse in the magic of Savannah.
Amazon | Henderson Beach Resort
Experience the magic of Audrey Ingram's The Group Trip in Destin, Florida, where the stunning Emerald Coast provides the perfect backdrop for the book’s mix of friendship, fun, and personal growth. Just like the vibrant group of friends in the story, Destin offers a blend of adventure and relaxation that invites you to reconnect, unwind, and enjoy every moment together. Henderson Beach Resort is the ideal setting to mirror the book’s sense of camaraderie, with its elegant accommodations, lush grounds, and private beach stretching along the sparkling waters of the Gulf. Whether you’re lounging by the pool, indulging in a spa day, or exploring the area’s charming local spots, the resort offers a perfect blend of luxury and laid-back beach vibes. Like the characters in The Group Trip, you’ll discover that sometimes the best memories are made not just from the places you visit, but from the people you’re with—and Destin’s Emerald Coast is the perfect place to celebrate that!
Amazon | Atlantis, The Palm Dubai
If you loved People We Meet on Vacation by Emily Henry (or are excited for the upcoming film adaptation!), Atlantis, The Palm Dubai is the perfect destination to create your own romantic escape. Much like Poppy and Alex’s heartwarming journey, Atlantis offers the ideal balance of adventure and relaxation, set against a backdrop of luxury and breathtaking beauty. Set on the iconic Palm Jumeirah, this luxury resort offers the ideal mix of adventure and relaxation, with stunning views and endless activities. Couples can unwind at the AWAKEN spa, enjoy intimate dinners by the water, or thrill at Aquaventure Waterpark and swimming with dolphins. With world-class dining and a sense of wonder throughout, Atlantis brings the magic of romance, adventure, and connection to life—just like Poppy and Alex’s unforgettable story.
Amazon | Blackwater Falls State Park
Embark on a wild adventure in West Virginia and connect with nature just like Roz in The Wild Robot. Roz’s story encourages exploration and trying new experiences – and The Mountain State offers endless landscapes to explore with vistas that are truly ‘almost heaven!’ West Virginia is the perfect destination for a nature scavenger hunt inspired by Roz’s adventures! Grab your family, friends, and a picnic then find the stunning rock formations at Seneca Rocks, identify birds and animals in their natural habitats, bike along the scenic riverside on The Greenbrier River Trail, discover the diverse and lush plant life, and chase waterfalls at Blackwater Falls State Park. For an even more immersive experience, stay in a cozy cabin or scenic campground. The Wild Robot celebrates friendships and the beauty of nature, so embrace your inner adventurer and explore the great outdoors – just like Roz would!
Amazon | Coombs House Inn
For fans of Hello, Summer by Mary Kay Andrews, Apalachicola, Florida offers the perfect setting to unwind and escape into a charming coastal getaway. This quaint, historic town captures the heart of southern charm, with its picturesque streets, fresh seafood, and serene waterfront views. Stay at The Coombs Inn & Suites, a cozy, romantic Victorian inn, where you can enjoy southern hospitality and relax on the porch as the gentle breeze off the Gulf whispers through the trees. Just like the book, Apalachicola is full of small-town warmth, intrigue, and the kind of slower pace that makes you feel like you've stepped into a storybook romance.
Amazon | The Grand Circle Association
If you loved Something Wilder by Christina Lauren, then Bryce Canyon Country is your dream destination! With its dramatic red rock formations, winding trails, and wild beauty, this stunning area captures the spirit of adventure, romance, and breathtaking landscapes that define the novel. Spend your days hiking through Bryce Canyon’s iconic hoodoos, exploring hidden canyons or horseback riding along scenic trails, where the desert landscape feels both timeless and exhilarating. As night falls, stargaze under one of the darkest skies in the U.S. Whether you're seeking outdoor thrills or quiet moments of connection with a partner, Bryce Canyon Country offers the perfect blend of natural wonder and romance—just like the heart-pounding, unforgettable journey in Something Wilder.
Amazon | The Palm Beaches
For readers captivated by the glamorous world of high society in The Beautiful People by Michelle Gable, The Palm Beaches, Florida is an idyllic destination to immerse yourself in elegance and charm. This stunning coastal paradise is home to opulent mansions, pristine beaches, and a vibrant arts scene that echoes the allure of its storied past. Stroll along Worth Avenue, where designer boutiques and charming cafes invite you to indulge in a taste of luxury. Explore the historic Flagler Museum, a Gilded Age masterpiece that offers a glimpse into the lives of the elite. Spend your afternoons basking in the sun on the beaches or sailing along the sparkling coastline. As the sun sets, enjoy fine dining at renowned restaurants, where you can savor exquisite cuisine. With its perfect blend of sophistication and natural beauty, The Palm Beaches provide the ultimate escape for anyone dreaming of a life among the beautiful people.
Amazon | Wild Dunes Resort
For fans of Emily Henry’s Beach Read, Wild Dunes Resort, just outside Charleston, provides the perfect setting for a storybook escape. Nestled along South Carolina’s scenic coastline, the resort exudes a relaxed charm, with colorful beach homes just steps from the sand—an ideal backdrop for getting lost in a great book. Book a cozy beachfront stay and dive into the novel’s themes of love, creativity, and second chances. Picture yourself reading by the shore as the waves roll in, savoring a sunset stroll, or enjoying a cocktail at one of the resort’s inviting bars. Wild Dunes lets you experience a “beach read” in real life, where you might just encounter your own unexpected twist or romantic spark.
Amazon | Ocean Key Resort & Spa
Sarah Adlers’ novel “Mrs. Nash’s Ashes” tells the mission of Millicent Watts-Cohen – a cynical writer but hopeful romantic – who embarks on a journey from Washington, D.C. to Key West to honor her elderly best friend, Mrs. Nash, by reuniting her ashes with the woman she fell in love with over 80 years ago. With themes of adventure, blending old and new, and the journey of personal discovery, the novel connects the past with the present through Millicent’s memories of her late friend and weaves together the nostalgia of the past with the freshness of new experiences. At Ocean Key Resort & Spa in Key West, the resort similarly blends the rich history of the destination in which it sits with its modern luxuries, providing guests with intimate experiences that inspire connection and reflection while offering a one-of-a-kind stay for all.
Amazon | Visit Park City
Christmas is a magical time to escape to the mountains where peaks are draped in snow, holiday festivities abound and warm nights by firepit are sure to warm the soul. In Christina Lauren’s “In a Holidaze” protagonist Maelyn Jones takes one last trip to her favorite place in the world – a snowy Utah cabin that her family has spent every holiday season since she was born. As this comedic holiday romance novel takes you on a journey of unveiling the wonder of the holidays, transport to Park City, Utah where your own Hallmark holiday awaits. From lodging in the mountains at Westgate Park City Resort & Spa and sleigh riding with the one you love to discovering the annual Snow Globe Stroll on Historic Main Street and relaxing fireside with a warm beverage in-hand, Park City encourages you to create your very own storybook getaway this holiday season.
Amazon | Princess Senses The Mangrove
For those yearning for adventure, romance, and a little bit of spice at a couples-only resort, Jamaica is waiting for you. If you’re a fan of “One Week in Paradise” by Anise Starre, this is the perfect destination to bring the book’s tropical, sultry vibes to life. Set against the breathtaking backdrop of the Caribbean Sea, Princess Senses The Mangrove offers an idyllic escape where you can experience the kind of passionate romance and luxurious indulgence you’ve always dreamed of. Relax in ultimate comfort while surrounded by lush mangroves, and let the calming waves lull you into tranquility on your private beach. Whether you’re savoring every moment in an Overwater Villa with an infinity pool and personal butler service, or igniting your senses in a Swim Out Pleasure Junior Suite, this resort mirrors the enchanting allure of a romantic island getaway that feels like stepping straight into the pages of your favorite love story. It’s the perfect setting to create your own unforgettable paradise.
Amazon | The Preserve Sporting Club & Resort
If you are looking for a fantastical experience after reading J.R.R. Tolkien’s classic masterpiece, The Preserve Sporting Club & Resort offers a magical escape that feels straight out of Middle-earth. Set on 3,500 acres of lush forests, rolling hills, and pristine lakes, this luxurious resort immerses you in a world of natural beauty and adventure, much like Bilbo’s journey through the Shire and beyond. A real-life Hobbit Village awaits to be explored, nestled within The Preserve’s hillsides, where guests can book a private dining experience inside one of the houses. Whether you’re exploring wooded trails, or embarking on thrilling outdoor activities like horseback riding and archery, The Preserve’s rustic charm and serene surroundings evoke the spirit of Tolkien’s beloved tale. With its combination of nature, adventure, and a touch of whimsy, The Preserve is the perfect destination for those who crave a storybook escape into a world of fantasy and tranquility.
Amazon | Visit Rhode Island
Set in Newport, Alison Espach’s novel The Wedding People captures a world of love, drama and timeless elegance – a perfect setting for a romantic coastal getaway. Stay at the luxurious Chanler at Cliff Walk overlooking the sea which feels like stepping into the pages of Espach’s novel. Stroll along the iconic Cliff Walk, taking in the stunning views of the ocean while reminiscing the scenes from the novel. Spend your day exploring the splendor of Newport’s famed “summer cottages” at the Bellevue Avenue and indulge in the freshest oysters at The Dining Room at The Vanderbilt. Top off your stay with a romantic sunset sail in the ‘sailing capital of the world’ along Newport’s rocky shoreline, where charming lighthouses and historic mansions set the perfect backdrop for a romantic escape.
Amazon | Hotel Du Pont
What if we told you that the indulgent world of Julia Quinn’s Bridgerton series can be found in the Atlantic U.S.?, Hotel Du Pont in Wilmington, Delaware, is a destination fit for a modern-day debutante. This historic hotel, with its grand architecture, opulent interiors, and timeless charm, captures the elegance and romance of Regency-era London—much like the Bridgerton world, without needing a passport or time machine. Picture yourself gathering in the lavish Gold Ballroom for one of the hotel’s decadent tea parties or attending a glamorous gala in one of the hotel’s stunning ballrooms, where you can almost hear the waltz music and imagine yourself at the center of high-society drama. The historic hotel is surrounded by lush gardens, giving opportunity for scandalous afternoon promenades. With its rich history, impeccable service, and classic sophistication, Hotel Du Pont is the perfect place to indulge in a little Regency-era luxury, making it a must-visit for anyone who loves the world of Bridgerton.
Amazon | Horseshoe Bay Resort
For readers enchanted by the coming-of-age journey in The Summer I Turned Pretty, Horseshoe Bay Resort is the perfect lakeside escape to relive the magic of summer romance, friendship, and self-discovery. Just like Belly’s unforgettable summers, this resort, nestled on the serene shores of Lake LBJ, offers a laid-back yet exciting atmosphere ideal for embracing the carefree energy of youth. Spend your days boating, jet skiing, or kayaking across the sparkling lake, with plenty of opportunities for bonding moments around nightly bonfires. The resort also hosts teen activities, giving you a taste of the fun-filled, sun-soaked summers that shape unforgettable memories. Whether you’re watching the sunset with friends or finding quiet moments of reflection, Horseshoe Bay captures the essence of a summer that changes everything — a perfect backdrop for your own story of growth and transformation.
Amazon | Little Palm Island Resort & Spa
Ever thought about escaping to a private island where you’re surrounded by nothing but natural beauty and the utmost tranquility? Within Christina Lauren’s novel titled, The Paradise Problem, and on Little Palm Island Resort & Spa – North America’s only private island resort – the focus remains the same: escaping to a private paradise to seek clarity, personal growth and renewal. As serenity is blended with emotional depth, travelers (and readers) are encouraged to discover both the beauty of the external world and the complexities of the internal. By reconnecting together in a setting that delivers exclusivity, much like the idealized settings in the novel, Little Palm Island delivers a magical, dreamlike quality of the topical luxury experience.
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I’ve triedtons of different food trends in my day. From dumping chili oil on ice cream to concocting my very own Sleepy Girl Mocktail, nothing I’ve eaten measures up to the sheer weirdness we saw go viral on social media this year (major side eye to Dua Lipa’s pickle Diet Coke).
@claudiaeatsgood chamoy pickles are so good😋😩❤️ @Bussin Snacks #chamoypickle#chamoy#chamoypicklekit#bussinsnacks#takis#fruitrollup#mukbang#asmr#asmrmukbang#chamoypicklemukbang#juicy#pickle#mexicancandy♬ original sound - Claudia💕
People couldn't quit it with the chamoy pickles (AKA chickles) this year. I never would've guessed that chamoy, a condiment made from dried fruits, chilies, sugar, and lime juice, would be slathered atop the sourest pickles money can buy.
But the food trend didn't stop at just chamoy – many snackers stuffed their pickles with everything from the likes of Hot Cheetos, Takis, and Fruit Roll-Ups. What?!
This insanely sour, tangy treat kickstarted what the internet's coined as the 'Red 40 Diet', which certainly cannot be medically advised.
If you care for your GI tract, this food trend is 100% worth skipping and leaving behind in 2024.
@dualipaofficial What do we call her?
♬ original sound - Dua Lipa
Diet Coke, pickle juice, and jalapeño juice = all the ingredients needed to concoct Dua Lipa's controversial 2024 drink. She loves it, but I on the other hand, do not.
Now, don't get me wrong: I love a good unexpected flavor combo, but gulping down a simultaneous dose of both pickle juice and jalapeño juice was not tasty to me whatsoever.
This trend even sparked a slew of Sonic diners to start ordering their soft drinks with pickles – but as divisive as this trend can be ("Don’t knock it till you try it," TikToker Mississippi Memaw told Food and Wine), it's just flat out weird.
@logagm New cucumber recipe 🚨
♬ original sound - Logan
If you bought a mandolin slicer recently, you might as well admit you're a victim of the TikTok-viral cucumber salad trend that made its rounds this year.
"Sometimes you need to eat an entire cucumber," TikTok user @logagmsounds off in the intro of every single one of his cucumber salad videos. And thus, the food trend was born.
It felt like I couldn't go a day on TikTok without seeing at least 5 recipes for a damn cucumber salad. When it comes down to it, I can appreciate the novelty (and taste) of this trend, but not the oversaturation. I'm gonna eat an entire cucumber one day, and get so tired of it the next. New innovations in 2025, please!
@kylekruegerr Would you try these?😂 #foodreview#seagrapes#food#review#tastetest#weirdfood♬ original sound - Kyle Krueger
It was like people wanted to eat the weirdest, grossest things in 2024. I can't blame 'em, especially if it's for clicks and views. But this food trend in particular literally made me want to gag – and I was only watching people eat through a screen (any fellow ASMR fans out there?).
They don't look like they're supposed to be crunchy, but they are. Sea grapes grow from aquatic plants and are filled with essentially what is a "salty liquid." They burst in the mouth when you eat them (one TikToker called them 'edible Orbeez'). Yuck.
@julieta.asmr I figured it out!! Blooper at the end 🥴 #asmr#asmrcommunity#asmrtiktoks#asmrvideo#asmrsounds#asmreating#asmrfood#asmrfyp#asmrmukbang#mukbang#asmreatingsounds♬ original sound - Julieta ASMR 🍒
The final (and especially weird) food trend I propose we leave behind in 2024 is these dang exploding jelly candies. They also made their rounds on ASMR TikTok, and I truly cannot stand to watch a single video featuring them.
First off, they look so annoying to consume. The fruit-shaped jellies are contained in a thin layer of plastic that's meant to burst open when you sink your teeth into it, prompting you to slurp out the sweetness inside. But what irks me the most is the fact that many people trying them can't even break the seal.
I'd rather watch someone make a simple PB&J than go to town on these microplastic-infused candies.
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Are you packing last-minute for atrip? Have you been looking for the perfect cover-up but can't seem to find it anywhere? Well, don't worry, I've got you covered! You know how much I love Amazon over here. They not only have a million things to offer, but they have them at unbeatable prices.
Many pieces from mysummerwardrobe are from Amazon, because they always seem to have exactly what I'm looking for (and usually in 15 other colors too). There are so many good summer clothes to choose from, but I have sifted through some pieces that I think are perfect staples for your warm weather wardrobe.
Amazon
These comfy pants are great for any summer activity. I love a good basic that you can style however you want! If you're going on vacation this summer, I highly recommend grabbing a pair of pants like these, because you will not regret having a good pair of breathable linen pants. You can find these in literally any color for $36!
Amazon
This $27 top looks like it comes straight from Urban Outfitters or Abercrombie & Fitch. Flowy tops are super trendy again, and they are flattering on everyone. I love the detailing on this white and blue top, but there are four other patterns to choose from. I can imagine walking around in Greece wearing this top, especially with these colors!
Amazon
Don't miss out on a good swimsuit cover-up this summer. I used to just wear a big t-shirt to the beach, but I recently graduated to wanting to look a bit more put together with cover-ups like this one. This top is great to just throw over your suit and pair with some shorts or linen pants for a full 'fit! You can shop this cover-up in white or black for only $20.
Amazon
I love, love, love this pattern! I recently ordered a dress from this brand, and the material is incredible. It's durable, yet very breathable. This halter dress is perfect for a party or date night. And can we talk about the neckline? So fun! If you want to incorporate more patterns and colors into your wardrobe this summer, I highly recommend checking out this $33 flowy dress.
Amazon
I want this $25 top in every color. You can never go wrong with a knit top in the summer because they are so nice and airy. The drawstring is unique and allows you to adjust the top to your liking. You can wear it as a top or as a cover-up for the beach. Personally, I would love to style this with a long white maxi skirt.
Amazon
Everyone needs at least one good floral dress in their wardrobe. They are so fitting for the spring and summer seasons, and you'll be wearing it all the time when it gets warm. I was immediately drawn to the shape of this dress. I love the criss-cross neckline and the stretchy waist. Dare I say, this is the perfect picnic dress! You can get this one for $32.
Amazon
You can look so effortlessly put together with any matching set. But as we know, linen and summer go together like wine and cheese. You can style this set in so many different ways that one outfit can end up becoming six! If you need to pack light on vacation, get this $30 set – you will not regret it.
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Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.
First loves are TOUGH — especially when you start to see all the red flags you missed along the way once it's over. If you've been dissecting your own early love stories by reading Reddit threads or chatting with your girlfriends about their own relationship experiences, just know this: you're not alone! The entire Brit + Co staff even found ourselves discussing the first person we ever fell in love with...and the recounts did not disappoint. From realizing 19 seemed to be a common age for our all-time worst relationships to understanding how our first love was probably not as ideal as we originally thought, it made us wonder why we couldn't pinpoint red flags back then.
Licensed Psychotherapist Prerna Menon, founder of Boundless, LCSW-PLLC and Licensed marriage and family therapist Joseph Cavins, LMFT have a few thoughts that have helped us decode the precarious time in our lives.
I'll never forget the first time I fell in love at 19. I thought my ex was the "wind beneath my wings" because he had a great sense of humor and was creative like me. I told myself he was the person I was going to marry so I was offended when my parents didn't think he was mature enough to be in a serious relationship. If this sounds familiar, pull up a chair because Menon explains why we tend to idealize our first love.
"Your first love is your first experience with romantic love too, hence you typically see it with rose-colored glasses. The overwhelming emotion is often infatuation, which tends to overshadow the more critical and analytical part of our brain," she says. Sadly, this sounds like something my parents told me before but I couldn't fathom how true it was as a teen.
As the Clinical Director at Southern California Sunrise Recovery Center, Cavins has seen this play out before too. He says, "In your first relationship, there is a tendency to put your partner on a pedestal. The excitement of new love can create a powerful emotional fog that makes it hard to see flaws clearly."
Essentially, this "excitement of having a boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner supersedes" our ability to questions things we normally wouldn't put up with, according to Menon.
While some couples are able to make their relationship work despite having a different outlook on life, sometimes it can be a sign that things aren't going to work long-term. Cavins says, "One major red flag is disregarding differences in values or goals for the future. For instance, you wish to become a parent someday while your spouse swears this will never happen— or vice versa. Early on, you might dismiss these differences, believing love will conquer all. However, these mismatched priorities can lead to resentment and challenges over time."
Honestly, I probably should've ran whenever my ex would mock my belief in God only for us to have to attend his mother and stepfather's church whenever I visited. There was so much confusion there, but I tried to dismiss it as something he needed time to work out.
Menon adds, "If this relationship makes you feel like you'e standing in quick sand - where you are trying to move forward but often feel held back in your individual aspirations, it may not be the right fit for you."
Cavins says, "Excessively possessive behaviors are another red flag that people often ignore easily when they fall in love for the first time. People tend to justify such behaviors by citing that it's due to love or protective instincts." I'm all for being in a relationship where your partner's able to see different sides of a picture, but controlling behavior shouldn't come with that. What might that look like?
Cavins says, "Your partner may frequently check in on you, offer opinions on who you should spend time with, or subtly pressure you into making choices that suit them." For example, your partner could start off making suggestions about your style that slowly morph into them controlling everything you wear. Somehow I went from being a self-professed 'girly-girl' to trying to emulate the style of 'sneakerheads' in a short amount of time. Though I love wearing everything from New Balance to Niké sneakers now, it's in a way that feels cohesive with my style.
You may have brushed this kind of behavior off because, again, you thought it meant your first love wanted the best for you. "It is understandable that such behavior hypothetically may come off as pleasant or affirming; however, they often signal an unhealthy dynamic of control rather than mutual respect," says
*Sigh* I'm shaking my head for my younger self because there were many times I didn't advocate for myself in my first romantic relationship. I'd often give in to affectionate or intimate moments despite wanting personal space so I wouldn't be seen as 'boring' or uninterested in my ex. Menon says, "Given the infatuation, your first relationship can feel all-consuming and often is codependent. Hence, this may result in you overlooking that your partner does not respect your boundaries or desire for personal space."
Partly because the excitement of the relationship makes you want to spend all of your time together, until you don't. And then, it is often too late to correct a maladaptive historical pattern.
Let's be clear, 'love bombing' feels confusing and awful. No one should make you feel like you're the center of their universe only to ignore your calls or texts days later. But, this probably happened while you were with your first love. Cavins says, "There's a tendency for people to brush off their first love's emotional unavailability. When, for example, a partner is not responsive and not engaging in intimate discussions or does not express their feelings, some may rationalize this as them being 'just not ready.'" If that were the case, this person wouldn't have made you feel like being with you is something they truly wanted.
Of that, Cavins believes "it's important to recognize these behaviors early" because "they can result in a one-side emotional investment that leaves one party feeling unfulfilled in the long run." Sadly, my first love would have days where he was super sweet to me only to feel like I was smothering him with attention. This is also the same person who begged me to remain in our romantic relationship when he went to basic training although I felt it would be better if we chose to be friends. Imagine my surprise (and hurt) when he told me we should have an open relationship months after getting stationed for the first time.
I should've known better because he was never 100% on board with the idea of marriage until after he graduated from basic training. Cavins calls this "emotional disconnectedness." His further explanation is this is "when the initial chemistry between the partners subsides that emotional attachment matters." To avoid this, he feels "identifying and addressing any of these is critical in a case where you are looking to create a strong and healthy bond."
Did your first love have a hard time taking responsibility for things that went wrong by gaslighting you to absorb the blow of their mistakes? If you've furiously nodding, we should start a support group. Cavins says, "A key sign is a lack of personal or relational growth. Healthy relationships encourage mutual development, but if one partner stays stuck in old patterns while the other grows, it can create frustration and distance."
At no point should you be the reason why your first love got in trouble after answering their parents' house phone late at night after telling you to call at a certain time. It's situations like this that should've alerted us to awful behavior, but I can see how easy it is to dismiss things.
First, my heart goes out to you for being in a relationship that doesn't feel healthy. It hurts when we realize the person we thought was so great is anything but. The road to letting go of idealization may be long, but you can and will get better. Cavins says, "In the process of self-healing and recovery, the first step that must be taken is self-reflection. Ask yourself all of the necessary questions that arise, such as what this relationship means for you, what your boundaries are, and what this partnership has revealed about you as an individual."
I keep saying this, but relying on journal prompts can help you unpack a lot of things and, thankfully, Cavins agrees. He says, "You could always opt to talk to a specialist or being journaling in order to find some closure and draw meaning from the experience." Also, he wants you to start "making new memories." But, don't be passive about it.
"You will have to engage yourself in activities that will help redirect the focus of your thoughts. This could include joining a new class, engaging in a hobby, or traveling that involves some independence. These experiences can help shift your mindset from loss to growth and reinforce your identity outside of the relationship," says Cavins.
Another important thing you can do is "solicit help from others," according to him. "Calling on people you trust, like friends and family, to talk about these feelings can significantly help in healing," he says. This also helped me navigate life outside of my first real romantic relationship, reminding me that I still had a lot of love in my life that didn't begin or end with my ex.
Here are Menon's tips:
I'm not going to tell you to run even though I told my ex I never wanted to speak or talk to him again. You could easily reconnect with the first person you fell in love with and realize that you're both in a place where you can have something beautiful. However, Cavins and Menon want you to be mindful if you're in this position.
"Reconnection is possible," begins Menon, "if both parties can objectively claim that they have grown emotionally and resolved the issues that held their relationship back." But, "if the reconnection is built on one person growing and the other not, it is likely to fail," she alerts. You'll need to "proceed with caution," she says because "your first love was a nostalgic era in your life that can cloud your judgement." To put it more clearly, she doesn't want you confuse "the fuzzies" with a "true knowing that the two of you can make it work."
Cavins says, "Reconnecting with a first love can trigger a strong wave of emotions, but it is important that such a decision is made with caution and a strong sense of pragmatism. Personal growth is a primary factor. Each party in the relationship must ask themselves how they have grown and evolved as individuals over time. If past patterns of conflict, immaturity, or unhealthy dynamics remain unaddressed, the same issues could resurface."
He wants you to consider these things:
Menon's final piece of advice is similar in that she encourages you to be "self-critical, self-aware, and self-nourishing." She doesn't want you to be afraid to be "clear and transparent about your expectations for the relationship" either. Though we weren't a fan of the outcomes of our first real romantic relationships, they've made us wiser. So, shout out to our first loves for being the worst because they've become our best learning lessons.
That's not all! We have even more helpful articles about relationships & family if you're looking for everything from celebrity couples to navigating hard conversations during the holidays.
No matter how many times I rewatch The Vampire Diaries, there's nothing like seeing a cast reunion — and the weekend of December 6, we finally got to see our three favorite Mystic Falls gals together again! Nina Dobrev, Kat Graham, and Candice King were just some of The Vampire Diaries cast members who reunited for Epic Con to chat all things Elena, Bonnie, and Caroline...but things took a turn in the middle of the interview when one of the backdrops almost fell on Nina!
As someone who's done plenty of interviews myself, I know how fast a situation can spiral — and this interview accident is crazy. While talking on stage about the show, one of the backdrops begins to lean forward, and right before it falls on top of Nina, Candice and Kat quickly move to push it in the opposite direction.
"I don't want to see any 'Bonnie saves the day' memes," Kat jokes, referencing the fandom's love for Bonnie consistently helping the group throughout the show's eight-season run. "I don't want to see it, I don't want to hear it!" You can also see a relieved Nina hug Candice before revealing she thought it was a spider!
In addition to this "Bonnie saves the day" moment (sorry, Kat, I couldn't help it!), the internet went crazy when Nina posted a video of her, Candice, and Kat recreating a photo they took during season 1 — especially after rumors have circulated for years that Kat Graham was mistreated on The Vampire Diaries set.
While these rumors have never been outright confirmed, fans have paid very special attention to what Kat has said...especially when she confirmedshe was the lowest-paid cast member and cried over her natural hair after revealing she wasn't really allowed to have an afro while filming.
"Love you girls so much!!!!!! 🥹❤️❤️❤️❤️" Kat commented on Nina's post, while a fan added, "And now the rumors can definitely be ended 🫶🏼❤️." These women are so powerful and clearly love each other so much, and I will take any and every cast reunion we can get!
When Brit + Co caught up with Ian Somerhalder, he also expressed how much he loved filming The Vampire Diaries. "Every single day it was a laugh," he says. "I mean we had to be serious, you're running from ghosts and vampires and stuff, and you know, someone makes a fart joke and a 130 people erupt in laughter, there's only so much you can run for your life."
And thank goodness, Ian confirms just how much fun the cast had! "We laughed, that's how we kept each other sane," he says. "I spent 8 years on the show and now it's [been] 15 years. It's my longest relationship."
"I cannot believe it's been 15 years," he continues. "And so everyone who's seen the show, watched the show, supported us — and me — in any way, shape, and form regarding the show, I thank you from the bottom of my heart."
What would your dream The Vampire Diaries reunion look like? Let us know on Facebook!