A Guide To Your Venus Sign So You Can Spice Up Your Love Life

What's happening astrologically during the week of December 9-15, 2024?

We are given an opportunity to heal parts of ourselves that are usually hidden or otherwise inaccessible when the Sun trines Chiron on December 10. Extroverts can use this creative time to shine, display their talents, and take leadership roles in their communities. More reserved introverts are encouraged to share their time helping others. For all of us, this generosity toward others serves as a way to heal our wounds. Charitable acts will be deeply rewarding.

Working toward a creative goal that pushes us beyond our comfort zone aligns perfectly with the energy when Venus opposes Mars on December 12. Romantic gestures will help deepen our relationships. If you are not in an intimate partnership, consider how you can blend and honor both your feminine and masculine energies. Tap into the friendly vibe of Mercury sextile Venus, exact on December 13, to create fun-loving, enjoyable exchanges with everyone you interact with. We can all practice being charming, good-natured, and affectionate while seeking reciprocity in our relationships. This uplifting energy can help resolve conflicts positively for everyone involved.

Mercury stations direct on December 15, alleviating any mishaps that may have occurred over the past couple of weeks and paving the way for more effortless progress. If you used the retrograde period to reevaluate and recuperate, you will feel energized and able to focus on the plans you made. Mars is still retrograde and will be until February 24, 2025, so it’s still advised to take it easy and not move too quickly. Pace yourself and move with purpose toward any goals you’ve been dreaming about.

The full moon on December 15 is a great time to connect your mind, body, and spirit. Engage in rituals that affirm this internal union. Celebrate the joyousness of the season in a light-hearted way. Mars opposes Pluto which is conjunct Venus during this full Moon, and we will find motivation and inspiration to achieve our goals, both large and small. We will all have profound feelings around what we love and value.

In all activities, maintain a flexible willingness to go with the flow and open yourself to serendipity.

​Read Your Weekly Horoscope For Your Sun & Rising Signs!

Aries (March 21 – April 20)

This is a great week to be creative, but not in an ordinary way. Express yourself from the depths of your soul. Tap into your subconscious and create something that ignites your inner feminine wisdom. Use your art, in whatever form it manifests, to blend and harmonize your whole being. If you find yourself uninspired, slow down and allow yourself to daydream and stare at the stars or the clouds for gentle inspiration. After all, art can truly come from any and everywhere!

Taurus (April 21 – May 21)

Focus on your family, your home, and your inner child. What do you feel, and how can you express your care and love? This energy is tender, and if you are honest with yourself, you can create the love you need. One way is to tend to your home and express your love to your loved ones. Another way is to practice self-care. While there is nothing wrong with going to the salon to get a new haircut or manicure, the opportunity for profound healing goes much deeper.

Gemini (May 22 – June 21)

You must communicate your deepest truth this week. Leading up to the full moon on December 15th, take time to write in your journal or speak into your voice memos about what lies at the core of your being. Use your words to clarify your deepest desires. As the year winds down, use this week to reflect on and appreciate how far you have come and how much you have grown. The act of writing or speaking will allow you to access your inner authenticity. Share what you learn with trusted allies or keep it to yourself. Inner clarity is what matters.

Cancer (June 22 – July 22)

Act on whatever makes you feel secure and stable. Use this week to understand what you value and how to achieve peace of mind. Use your money wisely, but be generous with your loved ones. Express your love in ways that demonstrate the profound connection you share with others. This could take many forms, but heartfelt gifts that signify your deepest love will be most meaningful for both you and the recipient of your kind magnanimity. Anyone in your sphere is so lucky to have the many gifts you bring to the table at the end of the day!

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Use your energy wisely this week. You'll likely feel braver and more willing to change whatever needs changing. Pace yourself, but don’t hold back. This creative energy can be harnessed for positive actions. What do you truly desire? At every opportunity, clarify your personal ambitions and realize you have the power to create your best reality. Be sure not to isolate yourself too much as you focus on your goals and aspirations. Breakthroughs are likely to happen. This is warrior energy, so your successes will be amplified if you have allies by your side. We're always stronger together, aren't we?

Virgo (August 23 – September 21)

If you find yourself repressing or holding back feelings of anger and frustration, devise healthy ways to release the energy. Move your body purposefully and energetically, but do not push yourself too hard. Write in your journal or talk with a trusted friend or therapist. Shed light on anything you might be hiding from or unconsciously carrying with you. Use Sagittarius’ truth-seeking energy to uncover what might be hidden. You may be surprised what you end up finding!

Libra (September 22 – October 22)

It's a super playful time for you right now — which is especially great if you have children! Even if you don't, lean into that energy; be creative, make holiday crafts, and bake cookies. Let the play be free-form and try not to be controlling or judgmental. It’s okay if the ornaments are not symmetrical or if the cookies are decorated haphazardly. Joy and fun are most important. If you don’t have kids around, use this time to play and be creative for yourself. Take pride in your abilities and follow through on hunches or impulses. Slow down and enjoy simple pleasures.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Take a break from work, or at least allow yourself to slow down a little more. Use this time to reflect on what needs to change in your career. You will likely face some decisions about how you want to refocus your efforts. You will make better decisions if you are rested and clear-eyed. Make long-term plans for how you’d like to reformulate your work. Reflect on the year and see how far you’ve come and how much you’ve grown. Take what you learn and allow yourself to dream about a more fulfilling approach in the future.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Your imagination is on fire, and you’ll find yourself dreaming about your next big adventure or learning a new skill. You may feel restless and a little impatient. Try to temper your enthusiasm and refrain from being overly opinionated. Use the excess energy available to finish what you’re working on before starting something new. Be sure to move your body in a joyful way, but don’t push yourself too hard physically. Be careful around aggressive people, and like an Aikido master, let any combative energy pass by in the name of peace. You've got this!

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

You might be feeling serious and a bit out of sync with all the joyfulness around you. Allow yourself to go inward and be truthful about what you are experiencing. It’s likely that the transformations brewing inside you relate to a need for security or safety. While you might be tempted to retreat for the long haul, it’s important to balance your time alone with time spent with loved ones. The warmth of human interaction will serve to remind you that this is a passing phase. Recognize that you need others for support. And I have a pretty good feeling the people around you would love nothing more than to welcome you with open arms.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

As much as you might like to rise above uncomfortable interactions, this is a really good time to work on relationships. You might have been experiencing conflicts that cloud your judgment. Reach out to a counselor to work through any differences, if you need a little extra help or added perspective. A skilled and unbiased third-party advisor will be able to identify the issues quickly and help you develop resolutions and reconciliations. Make sure your goals are harmonious and reciprocal. It may feel fraught now, but this work is so worth it!

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

The stress of the holidays may push you into overdrive, but don’t lose balance. Rest, and don’t overextend yourself. Listen to the subtle cues your body gives you. Stick to your exercise routine, but take it easy this week. Make sure you’re taking care of your health so you don’t get sick. Tune in to your pets and children. They are likely to pick up on your energy, and if you’re tense and anxious, they’ll reflect that back to you. Most simply put: find ways to find your zen as much as possible this week — you'll need it!

1. You're never sure what kind of mood your parents will be in before you walk in the living room or kitchen.

Let's put this on record: parenting is tough — especially on top of trying to maintain a work-life balance. But, this doesn't mean you're meant to be unsure of what to expect every time you come around your parents. If you have to "'read the room'" a lot "before speaking," Slavens indicates this is one of the more subtle signs of dysfunction.

This is where you may have learned how to become passive-aggressive if that's something you struggle with. The reason for this is because "clear and direct communication is avoided and/or seen as bad or aggressive," according to Dr. Miller.

2. You tend to feel like you're constantly compared to and in competition with your siblings.

My heart truly wants to believe this isn't intentional behavior from parents, but I can't say I haven't heard people talk about feeling like they'd never measure up to the 'golden child' of their family. You may have felt insecure about your grades, the college you chose to go to, your career goals, or even your physical appearance. Slavens says this "struggle with self-worth or second-guessing yourself constantly" is yet another sign that your family's dynamic wasn't the healthiest.

Also, Dr. Miller says this could've caused you to learn to "shrink yourself in the presence of loved ones." Even worse, you may "feel the need to hide pieces of yourself in order to be loved and accepted."

3. There was constant yelling and screaming during arguments, making you fearful of disagreements or hardships.

If you grew up in a home where arguments always led to screaming and yelling, chances are you're not a fan of loud voices or hard moments. Honestly, Slavens says it's not hard to believe that "conflict make you anxious, even when it’s minor." Unsurprisingly, you may have become a referee during these arguments and currently find yourself being a mediator in your platonic or romantic relationships. Why?

Dr. Miller says, "You constantly feel the need to manage everyone else’s emotions often at the cost of your own needs and wellbeing." You know, to keep the peace.

Here are some more obvious signs you grew up in a dysfunctional family

4. You had to take on a parental role when one of your parents decided to stop being an adult.

I imagine that having an emotionally immature parent is one of the most aggravating and stressful things to deal with. Not only that, but you may have had to help keep the household afloat. You may have had to get a job or two to help pay bills, listening to an adult conversation as your mom or dad laid their problems at your young feet, and more!

If you "family roles were flipped" and you "maybe had to parent your own parents," Slavens says this is a form of emotional dysfunction.

5. You weren't allowed to go anywhere with your friends because your parents wanted to keep an eye on you at all times.

Slavens says boundaries that "didn't exist" or "were rigid and controlling" is a sign your home was a little...interesting. Being concerned about your whereabouts is one thing, but it's another when you're unable to do anything without your parents' eagle-eyes on you. Something as simple as going to the mall with your friends may have become a lecture about the dangers of shoplifting or car wrecks. Again, these are valid concerns but they shouldn't be treated like the verbal form of doom scrolling.

6. You consistently witnessed one of your parents abuse alcohol or drugs at home.

This is a tough because substance abuse is so prevalent in varies socioeconomic statuses and communities. From the functioning alcoholic to the one who becomes belligerent after they've had too much to drink, it always affects those around them. Slavens says if "there was ongoing neglect, substance abuse, or verbal/physical aggression," your home probably didn't safe.

I recognize some of these signs of a dysfunctional family. But that doesn't mean they're affecting my current relationships, right?

I hate to break it to you, but it's possible your childhood wounds have shown up before. "Dysfunctional dynamics don’t stay in childhood — they tend to creep into how you connect with others," says Slavens. Similarly, Dr. Miller agrees that "we typically repeat what we learned at home with our families in our other relationships." How?

"This includes the beliefs and rules we follow, often completely subconsciously, about what can and can’t talk about and why, as well as what emotions are allowed to be expressed, who can express them and how, and how we should or must respond to those people and their emotions," explains Dr. Miller.

Another way to look at this is how Slavens has outlined it:

In Platonic Relationships:

1. Overextending yourself to please others, even at your own expense
2. Feeling like you have to "earn your friends' affections.
3. Avoiding vulnerability because it feels unsafe.

In Romantic Relationships:

1. Struggling to trust your partner or feeling overly suspicious
2. Repeating patterns like dating people who are emotionally unavailable or controlling.
3. Feeling overly responsible for your partner's happiness — or relying on them for yours.

OMG! How do I unlearn habits from my dysfunctional family?

Honestly, everyone has a few bad habits they've carried from their childhood to adulthood. You're not an outlier because some things weren't 100% normal so I don't want you to feel like you're a failure for not having having it all together. "Dysfunction doesn’t have to define your future relationships," Slavens assures. Dr. Miller says you can start to unlearn things "that aren't working for you anymore" by "gathering your family's larger context to gain insight into how and why, for them, the behaviors make sense."

By taking a look at your family's "history and larger social and political contexts" gives you a chance to "see them as whole people with full lives," she says. Once you do that, she believes "you can examine what pieces make sense for you to keep and what parts you'd like to learn to do differently." Her other suggestion? Don't forget you're ability to utilize a "therapist who works systemically, like an LMFT" who "can be a huge support in this process."

Slavens' tips include the following:

1. Practice self-awareness: Notice when a response feels automatic — like people-pleasing or shutting down during conflict — and ask yourself, Is this helping me, or is this a leftover habit from the past?
2. Set boundaries: If your childhood lacked healthy boundaries, learning to say “no” without guilt is a game-changer. Boundaries protect your energy and teach others how to treat you.
3. Learn healthy conflict skills: If conflict made you feel unsafe growing up, it’s natural to avoid it. But healthy conflict is necessary in relationships. Practice expressing your needs calmly and directly.
4. Therapy, therapy, therapy: A good therapist can help untangle the messy, “weird” things that got normalized and give you tools to rebuild healthier ways of relating to yourself and others.
5. Surround yourself with healthier models: Whether it’s friends, mentors, or books/podcasts, seek examples of functional relationships and start observing what feels different.

While you're busy unlearning things, Dr. Miller also wants you to remember something. "Recognize that how your family does something is simply that; how your particular family system figured out and were taught to navigate the world. It isn’t inherently right because you’ve normalized it nor is the way another person or family does it inherently wrong," she says.

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