Similar to airplane etiquette rules that people don't always follow, there's just as many wedding guest habits and mistakes that are big no-nos! We're all for getting together to celebrate our loved ones with amazing meals and great cocktails, but it's the attention-seeking behavior that can really throw a wrench in things. While we could probably find over 30 annoying things that fall flat every time, we're just going to focus on the top 8 that grinds our gears.
We dug into all these unsavory behaviors with Genevieve "Jenny" Dreizen, co-founder and COO of Fresh Starts Registry. She's a modern etiquette expert and former wedding officiant, so I trust her when it comes to the do's and don'ts of wedding guests. Want to know which embarrassing wedding guest habits made the list? Keep scrolling for all the not-so-fun things that can irritate newlyweds and other guests!
Annoying Wedding Guest Habits
Image via Jelabill Lawas/Pexels
Forgetting (Or Outright Refusing) To RSVP
We've all heard about wedding guests who choose not to RSVP to a wedding, and even worse — those who don't RSVP and bring others along for the ride when they unexpectedly show up. In Dreizen's opinion, this a major nuisance. "Bringing a plus one that hasn't been invited (or worse a plus MULTIPLE) is top of the list for unacceptable wedding guest habits. Weddings are expensive and well planned events and rolling up with people who weren't invited, weren't included in food counts, chair counts and more is super not okay," she says.
One way the bride and groom can get around this is to be firm about their RSVP expectations. The Gilchrist Collection says, "Be firm when crafting your guest list — no RSVP means there's no meal or table setting, no wedding favor, and you haven't factored them into any evening catering arrangements."
Let's say that you did RSVP to a couple's wedding, but find out that you won't be able to attend for a personal reason. It's likely that they'll be understanding, but need to know ahead of time. "Again, weddings are highly planned and exhaustingly executed events, so RSVPs are not just suggestions or nice-to-haves — they're an imperative element needed to properly organize a wedding. Additionally, if you cannot attend last minute please communicate this to the couple or someone who is representing them," says Dreizen.
Image via ANTONI SHKRABA production/Pexels
Being Rude To Other Guests Or Hospitality Staff
Face palm... Clearly this shouldn't happen, but I know it does.
Dreizen explains, "I find the most unforgivable offenses being rude to other guests or those working the wedding. As a Professional Wedding Officiant I was once approached by someone's very cantankerous aunt who berated me for the couple hiring me. She battered me with questions as to why they would chose me to marry them, made rude comments about their ceremony selections and generally left a bad taste in my mouth. Respect the couples choices for their wedding, and save your snark for the car ride home."
Dreizen says, "Being rude or belligerent to other guests or the hospitality staff is another unacceptable wedding guest habit. Treating people with respect and kindness is always in fashion and always out is being rude, cruel or abusive, whether alcohol is involved or not."
This goes back to being kind to everyone at a wedding no matter if they're a guest or have been hired by the couple to help create a beautiful experience. Maybe we just follow this age old rule: if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all, folks.
Image via jasmin chew/Pexels
Wearing A White Dress That Steals the Bride's Shine
This isn't like the 'no white after Labor Day' rule that a lot of us grew up hearing. Jenny says the rule of thumb when deciding what to wear is not to really stress about it, "...as long as you avoid an all white dress or jeans (assuming the dress code doesn't specifically ask for either!)."
Image via cottonbro studio/Pexels
Complaining About The Dress Code
"Knowing exactly how to dress for an ever evolving vocabulary of wedding attires can be tough, and I don't believe that if you put in solid effort a wedding couple will ever worry too much about what you're wearing-- they've got bigger fish to fry...," Jenny says.
That being said, don't show up in shorts and sneakers when the dress code specifically requests formal or black-tie wear. Also, don't complain about what other people are wearing just because you chose to break the rules. I know not everyone cares about getting dressed up, but the least you can do is respect the couple's dress code requirements especially if they decided to invite you.
Image via Sunvani Hoàng/Pexels
Hot Take: Allowing Kids To Scream Or Cry Uncontrollably
I love kids, and think they can be absolutely wonderful, but...a wedding ceremony may not be the best place for them to be. Kids are generally just more emotionally impulsive than we are, so when they feel an outburst coming on, it's coming on whether you like it or not. While adults often know how to sit still for 45 minutes to an hour, that's a lot to ask of a little person.
If you couldn't find a sitter, or kids were welcomed guests, make sure to take control of the crying. Go to another room, area, or anywhere else during the ceremony and speeches if your child is having a meltdown. Nobody's gonna be mad that your kid's sad — they're gonna be mad that you didn't do anything about it.
Image via cottonbro studio/Pexels
Getting Overly Drunk
We get it. You're looking for a reason to celebrate and love the open bar option. But, you should proceed with caution if you know you're prone to certain outbursts when you drink. This could look like crying uncontrollably, becoming angry, or even getting sick to your stomach while you're on the dance floor.
For brides and grooms who are afraid of this happening, Gilchrist Collectionsuggests making sure plenty of mocktails are available for guests. They also suggest, "Opting for a sober wedding can also positively impact your budget and avoid potential fallout from intoxicated guests spelling disaster!"
Image via Blue Bird/Pexels
Posting Pics From The Wedding Before The Newlyweds
We know you want to share a weekend or event recap with your followers on social media, but don't post anything from the wedding before the married couple actually does — particularly if there's a "no cellphones" policy. Nobody's trying to take away from your good time, but the newlyweds like spent a lot of time and effort to coordinate this event and they may just want the rest of the world to see their vision first.
However, if a couple is cool with it, post on!
Image via cottonbro studio/Pexels
Requesting Songs A Couple Doesn't Want Played During Their Reception
Some couples try to be mindful that they're grandparents may not want to know they can chant all the lyrics to Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion's "WAP." OR sometimes they're just annoyed with certain songs that seem cliché. Whatever the reason is actually doesn't matter — if the couple said no, just don't do it.
It's not the time to be a prankster by requesting a song that's on their "no play" list. If you do want to play something, check in with the newlyweds to gauge their moods!
Image via Prime Cinematics/Pexels
Proposing Right After The Wedding Or At The Reception
It may seems romantic to propose to your partner at someone else's wedding, but it doesn't always go over well. We can understand if you asked for permission beforehand — we all remember that Golden Bachelor moment — but some people make impulsive decisions when their adrenaline is pumping and just go for it without thinking about how it affects the couple they're there to celebrate in the first place.
All we can say: just don't.
What's the worst wedding guest habits you've seen at a wedding? Let us know in the comments!
Lead image via Jonathan Borba/Pexels
