6 Things to Consider Before Bringing Kids to a Wedding

1. New Years Eve

December 31 may have come and gone, but there's always more NYE events to come. It's just one of the worst days to have your wedding. No, I mean it. Abbott suggests this isn't the time to pack two celebratory events into one. As the owner and creative director of Amy Abbott Events, she's helped plan luxurious weddings for some of Hollywood's top celebrities and athletes — including Simone Biles!

So, why no fabulous wedding on NYE? She says, "You’ll end up paying almost 50 percent more as vendors typically charge much higher rates." But, that's just the tip of the iceberg. She also adds, "For destination weddings during this time of year, hotels often enforce 5- to 7-night minimum stays, with hotel rates being nearly double. This can make it almost impossible for your guests to commit to attending your wedding." Even if you think money isn't an issue, she advises "it's just a very costly option."

That's not the only issue you could face. "To add to the challenge, some of the best vendors often take the entire holiday season off, making availability a significant issue." This just made our jaws drop because we didn't know this! But we can imagine this feels like one of the times they get to catch their breath before prepping for such a huge moment in people's lives so it's not unbelievable!

2. Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is such a romantic day that deserves to be reserved for celebrating how much you're in love. But, please don't think your wedding has to be on February 14. Vezzetti says this day along with NYE "may sound romantic," but they're not in "reality."

She says, "These dates are super popular for weddings and other celebrations, which means venues and vendors charge a premium." And guess what? She says you're not even considering "future anniversaries."

Her advice if you decide to forge ahead is: "Good luck booking a cozy dinner reservation when everyone else is celebrating too."

3. Super Bowl Sunday

Another thing Fay says couples "often forget about" are "major sporting events." Her rule of thumb is to "try to understand the guest list and audience" so her team can be "conscious of their experiences."

It's the reason she's against have a wedding on Super Bowl Sunday. She says, "It may leave guests less present at your event, even if you're not a football fan. So we [the Tara Fay Events team] try to be conscious of big cultural and sporting events like this."

Always be aware of times close to major holidays. If guests have to travel distances and be away from their families, that may impact your rsvp’s. Plus, it’s typically more expensive to travel those times of year. Don’t forget about international holidays as well, Diwali for example.

4. Labor Day

Vezzetti also discourages scheduling a wedding on Labor Day. The rule used to be that you couldn't wear white after this holiday passed, but now you need to rethink your plans if you plan to trade 'I Do's" on this date.

"Long holiday weekends may seem ideal for travel, but they also come with headaches. First, heavy traffic," says Vezzetti. She and her team "have seen travel times TRIPLE on Colorado roadways during these holidays." This fact alone made our hearts skip a beat because we caught of a flash of you potentially being late your own wedding!

Also, Vezzetti says you won't be the only person in town for a holiday like this. "Because everyone else is traveling, lodging and restaurants are hard to come by, especially popular mountain retreats in places like Colorado."

5. Memorial Day

Sigh... We don't know why anyone would want to have a wedding on Memorial Day, but personal preference always plays a factor in decisions like this. The issue, Vezzetti warns, is that you're risking a lot by doing so. "Before you set the date, do a little research as to local annual events," she advises.

For example, Boulder, Colorado is a "great destination with amazing scenery, warm weather, and world-class dining" according to her. "But Memorial Day in Boulder, Colorado brings more than 50,000 runners into town. So definitely check the local calendar for your wedding destination and make sure you aren't going to share your special day with thousands of others."

Can you imagine having an outdoor wedding where your guests are torn between watching you emotionally exchange vows as marathon runners sprint nearby?

I'm kind of scared I'll choose the wrong date. What are good days or months to have my wedding?

This sounds like a "how-to" guide of everything you shouldn't do when choosing your wedding date, but there's still a large window of opportunity! "The best months to get married for tropical destination weddings are October 15th through July 15th," Abbott says.

But, there's a catch. "Once you go beyond that, you risk running into hurricane season. Even if you're fortunate enough to avoid a storm, the intense heat and relentless bugs can take away from the enjoyment of your day," she adds. All in all, "it's simply not an ideal time of year" because "the weather can significantly impact your overall experience," according to her.

Fay agrees with this by adding "major weather events are important to consider" at all times. She also added you should "take note of monsoon months" along with "hurricane season." She knows no one can really "predict bad weather," but she wants you to "aim for months that more often provide the experience you're looking to have."

Vezzetti says "popular dates in Colorado are the summer months (June-September) because of the scenic outdoor backdrops and warm weather." But she knows there are "trade-offs" like "venues and vendors" booking early, plus the chance "you might pay higher prices" even though the "gorgeous sand makes it worth it!"

The truth is that your special day should feel as seamless as possible. Something is sure not to go according to plan, but it shouldn't involve something interrupting the entire date you've chosen to have your weeding. Fay's final piece of advice, "If you want to get married in Europe, be aware of when Europeans go on holiday and try to avoid August which is the busiest time for major European countries.

But, the trade-offs are that venues and vendors book early and you might pay higher prices (but it's gorgeous sand worth it!). But, if you want to save, In Colorado late spring (April–May) and late fall (November) are excellent for the value. Plus, venues and vendors often have more availability. This concept can be applied to other destinations, but they may have seasonal variations. So, be sure to check the seasonal highs and lows in whatever area you are planning to tie the knot.

A tip you may not have considered is doing "a little research on when courthouses in the destination issue marriage licenses." Vezzetti suggests doing this so you're well-prepared and can "plan with enough travel time so you are not scrambling to get your legal documents."

Not sure when to go? Vezzetti says, "In most States, courthouses are only open during banking hours (Mon-Fri, generally), and while the process may quick (in Colorado, expect 15 minutes, tops), couples without a plan might find themselves in panic mode." Didn't we say we don't want you passing out before your big day even arrives? Take Vezzetti's advice and "do a little research" so you can "plan to arrive a day early!"

1. Singling Out The Bride

Witnessing your best friend, cousin, or sister get married is sure to make you sentimental because you've probably known them since childhood. But, this isn't the time to solely focus on the love you have for the bride.

"Make the toast about the couple as an entity … not just one person. Even if you find yourself a bit in the dark about your best friend's new spouse, or just not really knowing them on that deep of a level in general, that's okay," Drye says. This also applies if you don't like the other person. 👀

She also says you can echo things you've learned about about the new spouse "over the last several months/years" so that you can highlight the newlyweds in a positive way. "The couple is beginning this next phase in their lifelong journey together, and you should think of your toast as a loving send-off to both of them as a package deal."

2. Mentioning Embarrassing Stories

We get it. You've had a front row seat to the bride's shenanigans over the years and keep a mental photo book of every embarrassing moment she's had.

"Avoid overly embarrassing anecdotes, especially those that might make the couple or guests uncomfortable. There is a time and place for funny story-swapping, but this ain't it," Drye says.

Though you may think it's hilarious, talking about the time the bride pooped her pants during a hike isn't something everyone may want to hear. We're sure she's been trying to forget ever since it happened, so leave this between the two of you...and nature.

3. Bringing Up Exes Or Past Situations

The thought that someone might mention the bride's previous relationships — or even flings — make us turn red with second-hand embarrassment! According to Drye, it's a huge no-no during your Maid of Honor speech!

Drye says, "Stay clear of mentioning any of the couple’s past relationships or exes—it’s awkward and unnecessary. The toast should be about the couple and their life together -- not digging up past flames."

Seriously, the bride's parents don't need to know about any hot hookups, nor do they want to be reminded of the one person that continuously broke their child's heart. Let's leave those comments for your next girls' night debrief!

4. Making Inside Jokes

Inside jokes are cool! Most people develop them without even trying, which is what makes them so personal. But that's it — sometimes they're just too personal. "While inside jokes can be funny, they can alienate guests who aren’t in on them," Drye says.

That doesn't mean Drye thinks you can't have a little fun, though. You can mention "one inside joke for the couple," but save overly "cryptic" funny moments for one-on-one conversations.

5. Choosing The Wrong Time To Be A Comedian

There's a reason Drye keeps advising you to steer clear of too many hilarious moments during your Maid of Honor speech. "It's really staggering how many people think that the wedding toast has to be a comedy act! Of course, everyone loves to laugh, but if you're trying hard to be funny ... guess what? You're usually not," she says.

It may sound harsh, but I wish more people had someone to steer them away potentially embarrassing moments like this. You may be known for a being a lot of things, but it's important to also know your own limits.

Drye notes, "If on-cue humor is not your niche, don't force it. Take the opportunity to just do you." There's a reason you were chosen to be the bride's Maid of Honor, so embrace that instead of the amateur hour comedy routine no one asked for.

6. Mentioning Tense Family Dynamics

Weddings can highlight tense family dynamics on their own — that one cousin that's not invited, the overbearing mother-in-law, etc — but your job isn't to verbally point them out. "Don’t bring up family tensions, divorces, or any sensitive issues related to family or friends. This has never, ever served well in the history of wedding toasts," Drye says.

Let's avoid making people uncomfortable, please!

7. Reminiscing About Wild Party Days

TBH, we'd cry if someone brought up our past party days during our weddings. Although we probably have fond memories of them, we don't want our grandparents to know we shotgunned a beer with a stranger on the street that one time.

"Stories about wild college parties, bachelorette antics, or any instances involving excessive drinking or risky behavior might be entertaining for a small circle but can come off as cringe for a wedding crowd that includes parents, grandparents, and possibly children," Drye says.

Even if you're the Maid of Honor at a wedding that has a 'no children' policy, leave those memories buried for the time being. In the words of Drye, it's "not a good look" to mention them!

8. Picking At Negative Qualities Of The Bride And Groom

Everyone will send you to a Passive-Aggressives Anonymous meeting if you use your speech to poke at the bride or groom's negative qualities. Their wedding isn't an indicator that anyone thinks they're perfect, but it's also THEIR day. Let's not make them the butt of every joke, okay?

"It's a wedding toast, not a wedding roast. Even in jest, avoid highlighting negative traits or annoying habits of the newlyweds," says Drye. She encourages you to "keep the tone positive and uplighting" by only "highlighting the qualities that make them...incredible persons and friends."

In other words, don't make the bride regret choosing you to be her Maid of Honor.

9. Complaining About Wedding Costs

We know weddings can be pricey and have even talked about how to decline being a bridesmaid to one if you're budgeting. But if you choose to be the bride's maid of honor, you're accepting whatever comes with that. "Comments about how much things cost, who paid for what, or financial situations are tacky and should be avoided," Drye reminds.

You may want to check in with yourself before your speech so that you don't let your personal feelings or situation interfere with your toast.

10. Expressing Too Much Gratitude

There's a reason why awards shows start playing music when the winner's oh-so grateful speech is long-winded. It serves as a polite reminder for them to "wrap it up" so there's not any lags in the program.

"While it’s nice to thank people, it’s best not to go overboard — keep the focus on the couple. You'll quickly lose people's interest if you're just listing names," says Drye.

Remember, keep it short and cute!

11. Using Crude Language

We shouldn't have to mention this, but some people seem to think there's no problem with potty language in front of everyone they meet. Drye says, "Avoid crude jokes, swearing, or anything that could offend older guests or young children. Keep it classy!"

It's only for one day, so you'll survive if you're not saying your favorite curse word every other sentence.

12. Predicting The Couple's Future

This socially accepted thing is actually one of the red flags we should collectively toss to the side. It always starts with, "What are your plans after college" and ends with, "So when are you getting married or having kids?" Everyone's not always up to hear or answer these questions so don't use your speech as a time to make your own predictions about the couple.

"Making predictions, like when they’ll have kids or how their lives will unfold, can feel presumptuous and pressure-filled. (Not to mention the general fact that no one should ever comment on someone else's decision/ability to have/not to have children!)," Drye says.

What you can do is "wish them happiness and a bright future." Basically, leave out the weird specifics!

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