Check Your Weekly Horoscope For The First Weekend Of May 2024

Lumi Pelinku
May 01, 2024
weekly horoscopes may friends laughing in a park grass field

The stars are always moving and shaking things up from day to day, so naturally there's a lot to unpack in your weekly horoscope. Because no two zodiac signs experience these astral changes in the same way, I dug into it all, revealing what the planets have in store for you and how to use astrology to navigate the week ahead. Read along for your sun, moon, and rising sign for additional insight for the first week of May 2024!

​What To Expect In Your Weekly Horoscope: April 29 To May 5

Photo by Andres Ayrton/PEXELS

The planets Venus and Mars feel at home, meaning your love life is about to experience that same feeling.

We've ended April fully intact post-eclipse season and Mercury Retrograde. With the moon continuing to wane, this is an ideal period for you to slow down and release. As the moon loses its light each day, it ignites momentum for you to release the unwanted. The Sun, being in the sign of Taurus, extends stability for you to become more solid instead of impulsive.

The love planets, Venus and Mars, enter their dignity signs, Taurus and Aries. This moment will grant you grace and grit as you navigate your relationships these next several weeks. Venus enters Taurus on April 29, and it will beautify your outlook on things that involve creature comforts and love. Indulge yourself by booking a spa or self-care day that invokes the spark inside you, adding the confidence you need. Starting on April 30, Mars in Aries will power up your motivation while adding fuel to your fire involving your passion. This fuels the need for instant results, but practicing patience and optimism will buffer out the impulse. Watch your temper or for those around you who seem to have a short fuse. (Aries energy has a knack for this.) Be observatory in line with conflict.

May 1 is a powerful day as the love planet Venus faces the need to transform with Pluto – it will make love or self-worth feel like a pressure cooker.

Under pressure, Venus in square with Pluto can manifest as power and control issues between love and values. This is the moment to embrace change involving your desires. The split between wanting stability with Venus in Taurus and the radical energy of Pluto in Aquarius can lead to a powerful transformation in your love story while opening the path to realizing your worth. There is a part of you or the relationship itself that needs to evolve to attract a healthier outcome. Hold still, and don’t react. Just observe your environment. Take this as a sign to reevaluate your priorities in your relationship and everything else that can deflect you from living authentically.

Get ready to be “comfortably uncomfortable” because Pluto retrograde starts this week.

If you are unsettled, this Pluto retrograde phase (until October 11th) will help you see clearly what needs to be released from your trajectory to make room for positive changes. It's not a period to control or remain in harsh environments or situations. This can fall in line with unhealthy habits or relationship patterns. It's the moment to let go. Luckily, Mars will ignite that boost and positivity when this retrograde begins when it forms a sextile to Pluto on May 3rd. This phase will enable you to embrace the idea of facing the unresolved and powering through without looking back.

Key Dates For Your Weekly Horoscope For May 2024

Photo by jasmin chew/PEXELS

  • 4/29 Venus enters Taurus
  • 4/30 Mars enters Aries
  • 5/1 Venus square Pluto
  • 5/2 Pluto Retrograde
  • 5/3 Mars sextile Pluto

Weekly Horoscopes For Your Sign

Aries

Although it's past your birthday season, the spotlight continues to shine on you. Mars entering your sign this week will power up your mojo. Whatever you have your sights on, be sure to initiate, not wait on the sidelines, because that is how you can experience early burnout. The Venus square Pluto can make you feel like you are facing a dead end with your friends or networks. Don’t stress about the results. When your ruler, planet Mars, sextiles Pluto, you will get your second wind as you learn to discern your connections. Assess your connections and those who reflect your values. Remember to hold to your vision and belief. The right people will support your future visions in time. It all begins with you this week.

Taurus

You will begin to see life around you as a work of art. Venus, your ruler planet, crosses into your first house of self-image, confidence, and identity. This can be a great week to indulge in self-care and upgrade your look. Venus beautifies whatever it touches; you will be magnetic in this sector. Book a photoshoot or update your dating profile, and you will likely attract a flow of potential love partners. The Venus square Pluto this week will trigger you to realize your worth in your professional and personal life. It can present challenges with authority. However, you will be equipped with the ingenuity to stand your ground with grace. Later this week, when Mars sextiles Pluto stemming from your twelfth house, it will grant you a new pattern of thinking that will enable you to establish the terms in your career direction.

Gemini

These last few weeks have been lowkey. The tempo will rise this week, involving your ideas as Mars enters your third house of communication. With Venus also entering your twelfth house of the subconscious and dream realms of life, there will be an overflow of inspiration that may be hard to grasp. Take a moment and journal about everything that comes to mind regarding what needs to be improved or beautified in your life. The Venus square Pluto will ignite a phase of you realizing that you must stay true to yourself while empowering you to embrace your nonconformist ways. By the end of this week, you will feel a renewed sense of understanding of your purpose. Clearing out the unnecessary dialogue and finding your inner voice is a great place to start.

Cancer

This week emphasizes social connections and future ambitions for you. Venus in Taurus energizes friendships and group activities in your 11th house, while Mars in Aries fuels your professional drive in the 10th house. Be mindful of power struggles involving friendship circles or networks, especially when Venus squares Pluto. Diplomacy is key. If you feel a bit of shade, learn how to deflect instead of adding fuel to the fire. Mars sextile Pluto encourages profound transformation and growth, urging you to confront inner fears. Prioritize self-care amidst career demands to avoid burnout. There will also be a lesson regarding boundaries and the power of saying “no." Overall, balancing socializing with career pursuits, maintaining boundaries, and embracing opportunities for personal development will be your main vibe this week. Trust your intuition when navigating challenges, and you will emerge stronger spiritually.

Leo

There is a lot of action for you this week, Leo, with your career, beliefs, and relationships. With Venus in Taurus boosting your professional aspirations in your 10th house and Mars igniting your thirst for knowledge in the 9th house, you're in for an exciting ride. Be ready for some intensity in your relationships as Venus squares Pluto, but don't worry, you've got this. Embrace the transformative opportunities coming your way with Mars sextile Pluto. Remember to find that perfect balance to keep things harmonious. Dive deep into open communication and mutual respect with your partner, and watch as your connection blossoms. Discuss your long-term ventures or visualize your dreams. Take time for yourself, nurture your spirit, and trust your intuition—it'll lead you to profound discoveries.

Virgo

This week is all about exploration and transformation for you. With Venus igniting your curiosity in the 9th house and Mars urging you to dive deep into vulnerability in the 8th house, a lot of inner growth is happening. Watch out for power struggles in relationships, especially with Venus square Pluto. Welcome those challenges—they're growth opportunities, especially with Mars sextile Pluto supporting you in facing the unknown and learning the importance of igniting change in your narrative. Focusing on financial planning and collaborations in your career would be best. Stay on top of your game at work by factoring in those who align with your interests. Regarding your job or your personal life, trust your instincts and make a move if you feel called to step up in your life direction, Virgo.

Libra

Expect inner growth opportunities involving your relationships this week, Libra. With Venus in Taurus sparking intimacy in your 8th house and Mars igniting passion in partnerships in the 7th house, your connections are intense. Watch for power struggles, especially with Venus square Pluto powering up a voice or feeling you didn’t know existed. Justice will be on your side when Mars sextiles Pluto, helping you see a clearer picture of your stance on love or close connections. Trust your instincts and communicate openly to strengthen bonds. Remember to capitalize on your well-being and integrity to keep yourself in check.

Scorpio

Scorpio, this week is a blend of relationships, work life, and home matters for you. Venus in Taurus sparks partnership harmony or the need to refine it, while Mars in Aries amps your energy for work and health routines. However, watch for tensions at home due to Venus square Pluto, and utilize this interchange to deepen emotional bonds. Focus on open communication and balance amidst any challenges. In relationships, prioritize understanding, stay productive in work, and care for your well-being. Navigate with patience and aim for harmony at home, especially with family responsibilities. Trust your inner strength to guide you through any turbulence, Scorpio—it's your power source.

Sagittarius

Slow down and pay attention to your process of taking care of your mind and body, Sagittarius. With Venus in Taurus in your 6th house, focus on improving your daily routines and well-being. Begin a new fitness regimen or establish a self-care practice. The body is a temple and begins with how you view yourself. Whatever you wish to improve in your life starts with the body. As Mars enters Aries in your 5th house, it will stir fire (your element), and you will feel more passionate than usual. Reignite your connection with your romantic partner or start a new creative venture. This is the week to dial down and become more intentional in your process of life and what stirs your heart. Feel again, and your paradigm will shift.

Capricorn

This week revolves around fulfillment, home life, and financial matters. Venus enters Taurus in your 5th house, inspiring you to express yourself creatively and find joy in your hobbies. Mars moves into Aries in your 4th house, energizing your domestic sphere and prompting action on home-related projects. However, be cautious of power struggles around money or values as Venus squares Pluto. Accept the potential for transformation and empowerment with Mars sextile Pluto, especially regarding your financial security and family dynamics. Become open to receiving input from your loved ones to clear the air or establish a better path with your family unit.

Aquarius

This week is all about communication, emotional security, and personal growth. With Venus in Taurus in your 4th house, focus on nurturing your emotional well-being and finding comfort in your home environment. It's time to orchestrate a spring cleaning or beautify your surroundings. This will attract a flow of opportunities involving prosperity. When Mars enters your 3rd house, it will energize your communication style and prompt action on your ideas and plans. This will be an ideal week to get your message and witness movement. Practice your pitch or message by writing it down or speaking aloud to establish confidence. You will be heard. However, be mindful of power struggles, especially concerning your identity or self-expression, as Venus squares Pluto. Prioritize open communication, integrity, and truth when handling any challenges.

Pisces

Focus on your inner dialogue, finances, and personal beliefs this week, Pisces. Venus entering Taurus in your 3rd house will ignite heartfelt conversations and harmonious interactions with siblings or neighbors. Be mindful of power struggles concerning communication or hidden influences, go within, and analyze the state of your connections energetically as Venus squares Pluto. Prioritize clear and compassionate communication when handling any conflicts. This is your opportunity to clear the air with any message that was left unresolved and make amends. As Mars moves into Aries in your 2nd house, it will motivate you to take initiative towards your stability and self-worth. To gain the upper hand is to face your subconscious patterns, and Mars sextile Pluto this week will extend the solution for you to learn how to rewire yourself into a better version.

Want to learn the astrology basics and decode your birth chart? Take a look at Lumi's new beginner's astrology workbook

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This post has been updated. Lead image by Getty/We Are.

What Is The 4B Movement? Inside 2024's Biggest Anti-Relationship Trend

Social media is full of trends that come and go — think loud budgeting or sleepmaxxing — but I have a feeling one may grow legs beyond TikTok or Instagram: the 4B Movement. TBH, it doesn't feel right to call it a 'trend' because its origins are rooted in something much deeper than saying or doing something controversial for likes.

If you're not familiar with this movement and are curious about it, we're going to take a deep dive into where it originated, it's purpose, and why women in the U.S. have started to abide by its principles. To understand the 4B Movement's sustainability and potential benefits, I spoke with Somatic Trauma Therapist and Founder of Freshwater Counseling & Consulting, Blessing Uchendu; Sex and Relationships Coach Leah Carey, host of the Good Girls Talk About Sex podcast; and Senior Statistician and Addictions Researcher at UCLA Nicole Prause

Here's what they had to say!

Scroll To Learn What The 4B Movement Is, How It Started, & What It Means For Women In America

  • The 4B Movement is all about abstaining from relationships with men, from dating to sex.
  • This movement started in South Korea after an atrocious act of gender-based violence.
  • Since the 2024 election, American women are exploring the idea of abstaining from relationships with men as well.
  • Ultimately, the 4B movement could lead to de-centering men from women's lives, eliminating some fears surrounding reproductive health and ultimately improving their mental health overall.

What is the 4B Movement?

According to The Washington Post, this is a "radical Korean feminist movement that swears off men to reclaim a sense of agency." It sounds similar to abstinence, but the trickle down effects are vastly different. Abstinence is taking a step back from anything that usually taps into your pleasure center — and that doesn't always mean sex. However, the 4B Movement is specifically rooted in 'de-centering men' completely.

CBSstates that researchers Jieun Lee and Euisol Jeong wrote a paper for Yonsei University about the movement, and deciphered that the "B" has four meanings:

  1. biyeonae — "refusal of dating men"
  2. bisekseu — "sexual relationships with men"
  3. bihon — "heterosexual marriage"
  4. bichulsan — "childbirth"

How did the 4B movement start?

In 2016, Hankyoreh reported that a man in his 30's chose to stab an unknown young woman in Seoul, Korea. When asked why he committed the crime, he gave this answer: "I did it because women have always ignored me." In response to the random attack, Hong Seong-su, a law professor at Sookmyung Women’s University, share a chilling message that the outlet recounted in the article. "The fact that [Kim] chose ‘some woman’ [as opposed to ‘some person’] as the target for his crime suggests it is not going too far to view this as a crime of hate against women."

This radical moment was an inception point for the movement overall, started in opposition to this gender-based violence, as well as gender-based discrimination as a whole. The Korean Herald noted that factors like pay inequality and a Donald Trump-like president of their own (Yoon Suk-yeol) were driving forces in 4B. Since his election in 2022, Yoon Suk-yeol has "promised to abolish the Ministry of Gender Equality and Family, which has been popular with his anti-feminist base," (via Korean Herald). Between all this and the global sensation of #MeToo, the 4B Movement gained major momentum throughout the last eight years.

The 4B Movement's Lasting Impact In South Korea

According to The Korean Herald, over 150 elementary schools aren't seeing first-graders walk through their doors and it has everything to do with the falling birth rate in South Korea. CNN reports that officials are so concerned, they're willing to do something to combat it. President Yoon Suk Yeol said, "We will mobilize all of the nation’s capabilities to overcome the low birth rate, which can be considered a national emergency."

But, this isn't the first time the birth rate has been addressed. Another CNN article reported that South Korea dished out $200 billion to "boost the population over the past 16 years." Still, things haven't worked in the government's favor. It's evident less women are having children and it seems to directly stem from women upholding the ideology they're not allowing their bodies to be used for motherhood anymore.

American Women's Response To The 4B Movement

Kaboompics.com

After the shocking results of the 2024 presidential election, many women began to rethink how they relate to the men in their lives, finding South Korea's 4B Movement in the process. Based on the current rhetoric about women who don't have children and the restrictive anti-abortion laws with hardly any policies in place to reduce the maternal mortality rate, it's understandable why some women are fearful or fed up — and why many women are now finding parallels to what sparked 4B in the first place.

When you see people like Nicholas J. Fuentes tweeting things like "Your body, my choice. Forever," on the same day Trump won a second term as president, it can leave a sickening taste in one's mouth. One user's response to this was, "Funny how the loudest champions of 'freedom' are often the first to undermine it for everyone else."

Alongside this are men's social movements that are clearly intertwined with the current political climate, too. While obviously not all men believe in these ideologies, there's been a stark rise in their prevalence.

Mizuno K

In 2020, ADL reported about the mindset of "Incels" and discovered that they feel emboldened by the 'manosphere.' So, what do they tend to believe? According to outlet, there's a belief "that the current sexual 'marketplace' gives women too much freedom to choose their own partners." Not only that, but the outlet says Incels tend to think women choose to ignore men unless they look a certain way or have a certain status, "leaving the remaining 80 percent of men (including incels) without a potential partner."

Nicole Prause, a UCLA Statistician and Academic, is well-versed in abstinence movements, and what they ultimately indicate based on statistics. "There are a number of similar men's movements already, especially Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW)," she says. According to her, MGTOW don't pursue marriage or relationships with women, but "seek sex when it is on their 'terms.'" She says, "They're often viewing it as a battle pitting sexes against one another. These movements tend to be separatist, often evolving into misogyny and violent speech, such as glorifying sexual coercion and rape."

www.tiktok.com

started in south korea. now in america? yas. #4b #4bmovement #jesusisking

As a result of these growing men's movements and the incoming 47th President of the United States — a convicted felon with multiple allegations of sexual assault — there have been growing calls from women on social media to consider the 4B Movement for themselves. X user @jungsooyawning wrote, "american women it's time to learn from the koreans and adopt the 4b movement as a matter of fact women from all over the world should adopt the 4b movement i'm so serious," on the platform.

Freelance writer Daria Yasmiene also wrote about about why she's taking part in the movement for POPSUGAR. She said, "As a Black woman who has lived through three back-to-back elections with Trump as a focal point, I'm so far beyond tired that I need a lifestyle change." Ultimately, she wants to continue having the freedom to choose to live her life in a way that's not solely governed by men.

"With the little autonomy that I have left, I would rather be alone and safe from the consequences of male influence in my life than lie next to someone who doesn't see me as an equal. We deserve so much more than that."

Meanwhile, Sex and Relationships Coach, Leah Carey says that 4B "makes sense as a response to realizing that a majority of men valued the economy over a woman's right to self-determination." Depending on where you stand, she also says that it can be "seen as 'punishment' for men" or "as a choice of self-determination and self-protection for women." Somatic Trauma Therapist, Blessing Uchendu shares Carey's sentiments in that the movement is "a response to patriarchy and the centering of men and conversely the objectification of women, with the expectation that they fulfill roles as wives and mothers."

Potential Benefits Of The 4B Movement

Antoni Shkraba

So with all that in mind, is a movement like 4B beneficial? And is it even sustainable? I'm not going to tell you that you should or shouldn't join the 4B Movement because it's a personal decision. It's always wise to examine where you are in life instead of relying on social media, news outlets, or even the government to determine what you're going to believe. Still, there may be some benefits to the 4B Movement that outweigh any potential fallouts.

Carey says that "not being refused care for reproductive matters" is a potential benefit of 4B, while also highlighting that "the mental health benefits can also be huge for people who deal with anxiety, depression, or anything else that might cause emotional hardship in the current climate."

This could also lead to women identifying and honoring their true desires instead of following society's scripts about who they should be. Somatic Trauma Therapist, Blessing Uchendu believes that 4B is about women de-centering men and re-centering themselves — about "being the 'stars of their own stories,' rather than supporting characters in a malde-dominated narrative." Uchendu says. "It can be incredibly empowering to step away from systems that have felt compulsory in order to reflect on whether you are making decisions centered on yourself and your desires or whether these decisions are centered on the expectations of the society around you."

The most important thing Carey wants to note is that women aren't unable to find love and joy ever again by participating in the 4B movement. "Just because a woman chooses not to date, have sex, get married, or have kids with a man doesn't mean she can't do those things: with other women. it's more and more common for adult women to explore their same-sex attractions after divorce or widowhood," she notes. "With a generation of young women growing up with the understanding that heterosexuality is not the only option, we may see a wave of younger women also exploring in this arena (in addition to all the younger women who already know themselves to be queer)."

I would also say that you can always go back to dating and engaging with men whenever you want — this movement doesn't have to be a permanent choice if you don't want it to be. The whole point is to take charge and embrace your own sense of agency.

Yet, Prause does pause to mention the downside to "separatist movements." She explains that without support from men, women could struggle financially given pay disparities and other gender-based work inequities. Still, she says this doesn't really affect much if women have been figuring things out for themselves with little help from men.

Ultimately Uchendu says women having the freedom to exist without the weight of society's patriarchal standards on their shoulders is the "ultimate freedom." She says, "In the words of Audre Lorde 'If I did not define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and be eaten alive."

Andrea Piacquadio

No woman should have to live in fear of having violence committed against her, but history continues repeating itself in terms of how society treats our bodies. "When a woman's right to make choices about her own body and health care are removed, she may decide to not put herself in a position where pregnancy can become an option," Carey says.

Prause chimes in with, "On average, women are more likely to experience mental health declines with marriage to a man (the opposite is true for men). While men also can experience domestic violence and sexual assault, the risks are exceptionally higher for women." Not only that, but she also points out that "women risk unwanted pregnancy, from which they now have fewer healthcare rights to address" and "are at much higher risk for sexually transmitted infections, even from their regular romantic partner."

As if that weren't a slap in the fact, Prause mentions that "childcare continues to fall disproportionately on women and does cause less income for women over time."

So, at the end of the day, I can't tell you what the right choice is, but I do know that patriarchy's long-lasting fixture in society has harmed everyone. From men who think women owe them something to women who believe they're not worth anything unless they're married or mothers, there's a lot to unpack.

What I do know is that no one should have the right to control the personal lives of other people nor should they try to make their personal beliefs and religious ideologies into laws that govern people who will be around long after they're not.

No matter where you stand on the matter, hatred and violence should never be tolerated or praised. Remember to take care of yourself by diving into more self-care stories we have on-site.

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35 Bougie Gifts Your Sister Will Totally Obsess Over

Your sister deserves the world — you know it, I know it, and she definitely knows it. But what do you give someone who deserves the world when there's so much to sift through? If finding the perfect gift for your sister feels like a herculean feat, join the club! I've got an older sister whose priorities have shifted after getting married and having kids, so I'm always on the hunt for the best present to get her. Fortunately, I've found all the best gifts for her that she'll actually use — and I'm ready to share them with you, too!

From the best of beauty finds to some self-care goodness, these top-notch gifts were carefully considered because this little sister knows Christmas is better when your sibling keeps you in mind!

The Best Beauty Gifts

Sephora

T3 Aire 360 Ceramic Air Styler Blowout Kit

Your sister's wash day routine won't be the same once you introduce her to this blowout kit. Before I got boho braids, I decided to use it to dry my natural hair and it literally cut my blowdrying time in half! I have thick coils so it usually takes a while for me to gently stretch my hair without damaging it, but not anymore!

This kit includes:

  • Aire 360 Base
  • 2 Curling Attachments (Left and Right)
  • Oval Brush Attachment
  • SoftAire® Drying Concentrator
  • Storage Tote

I personally love the drying concentrator and the oval brush attachment because they give me the softest blowout I've ever had!

Calista Tools

Calista Tools The Classic Volume Duo

If your sister already has the perfect curling iron and blow dryer, you can still gift her something that boosts her hair. Calista Tools' Classic Volume Duo includes a pro heated round brush and the embellish flex spray to create the same look she'd get with the T3 Aire 360 Ceramic Air Styler Blowout Kitfor a fraction of the price.

Kora Organics

Kora Organics Turmeric Brightening Trio

Give your sister the gift of powerful antioxidants in skincare form this year! Kora Organics has so many products that boosts skin's glow — trust me — so this brightening trio is a great place to start for anyone.

The set includes:

  • Turmeric Glow Foaming Cleanser: It's pH-friendly and works to clean skin without stripping it of moisture. Your sister will appreciate the Turmeric, Noni, Aloe and natural sugar complex that effortlessly works together.
  • Turmeric Brightening & Exfoliating Mask: Your sister can use this daily because it'll gently smooth and detoxify her skin.
  • Turmeric Glow Moisturizer: Your sister's skin will crave the benefits of this moisturizer because it'll add a healthy glow to her skin while making it a little tougher. External impurities don't stand a chance!

EADEM LLC

EADEM The Even Skin Set

Has your sister been complaining about her stubborn dark spots? She'll love if you surprise her with EADEM's Even Skin Set! She'll get the following:

  • Dew Dream: A yummy cleansing balm that removes all makeup and other icky things from skin
  • Cashmere Peel: A gentle exfoliant that specifically targets dark spots
  • Milk Marvel: A creamy serum especially created for BIPOC skin that struggles with dark spots
  • Cloud Cushion: A ultra hydrating moisturizer that 'cushions' skin

Fur

Fur Full Frontal Set

Has your sister been looking for the perfect bikini waxafter-care? Tell her to get intimate with Fur's Full Frontal Set! It's dedicated to providing the softest skin that doesn't suffer from inflammation and ingrown hairs which sounds like my kind of party. All products have been gynecologically tested, so they're 100% safe!

The set includes:

  • Fur Oil
  • Ingrown Concentrate
  • Stubble Cream

Supergoop!

Supergoop! Endless Glow SPF Set

Don't tell me it's 2024 and your sister still hasn't found a sunscreen she loves. *Sigh* Okay, lean in closer so I can hold your hand while I talk about the Supergoop! Endless Glow SPF Set. Besides being TSA-friendly, this gift will add an extra glow to your sister's visage and I know she'll love that.

She'll get:

  • Glow Screen Sunrise SPF 40
  • Glow Stick SPF 50
  • Soothing Oil

Sephora

Tower 28 Mini Lil Softies Tinted Lip Treatment

I've been wearing Tower 28's 'Ube Vanilla' shade in their Tinted Lip Treatment and I can't get enough. This means your sister deserves to know about this miniature set! Unlike other lip oilsand treatments, this formula isn't sticky whatsoever! It has shea butter, jojoba oil, and lysine in it to provide a super kissable pout.

P.S. I've noticed that my lips are visibly softer and haven't been peeling or cracking as much since I've been wearing this!

Sephora

Beautyblender Power Pocket Puff

Celebrity Makeup Artist Natalie Dresher has nothing but rave reviews about this cute pocket puff! She says, "My absolute favorite tool for on the go mattification (is that a word? Or did I just coin that?). A must have for those going out for special events, it’s compact and fits in the tiniest of purses."

Sephora

LYS Beauty Mini Higher Standard Cream Glow Blush Set

Why commit to just one blush when you can have three? At least that's what I think you'll say to your sister when she opens this cute gift. I love that it's by a black-owned brand, but I'm even more excited that these blushes are vegan. They have kaolin clay, avocado oil, and vitamin E in them which has all the makings of a smooth, hydrating finish.

Sephora

Armani Beauty Eye Tint Long-Lasting Liquid Eyeshadow

Dresher says, "One swipe and your eyeshadow is done with these Armani Beauty eye tints. They are user friendly and even the most beginner makeup user can figure out how to apply these! I love shade 67S Sparkle because it looks great on all skin tones making it a universal shade."

Stila Cosmetics

Stila Cosmetics Meet the Icons 4-Piece Set

You think your sister's iconic, right? I sure think my sister is so I''d love to add this to the running list of gifts I'm choosing for her. Everything is, once again, TSA-friendly, so your sister can take everything with her at all times.

She'll love getting:

  • Stay All Day Waterproof Liquid Eye Liner in Intense Black
  • Full-size Huge Extreme Lash Mascara (Jet Black)
  • Full-size Convertible Color Dual Lip & Cheek Cream in Lillium (Nude Pink)
  • Travel-size Shimmer & Glow Liquid Eye Shadow in best-loved shade, Kitten (Shimmering Nude Pink)

Lilac St.

Gold In My Veins Press-On Nails

I've been wearing these press-on nails for the past two weeks because they're the best I've ever worn. I personally think you should gift your glamorous sister these cuties before Christmas because she'll want to have something nice on her nails when she goes to take holiday pictures.

Cult Gaia

Cult Gaia Mast Eau De Parfum

If your sister has been looking for a new fragrance that she and others will love, I'm sure she'll fall in love with Cult Gaia's new scent, 'Mast.' It's a mix of Italian Bergamot and tropical coconut — two blends that make me want to spray on every piece of clothing I have!.

I really love that your sister won't have to fret about parabens, sulfates, BHA, mineral oils or other formaldehydes! I mean, clean beauty is truly the way to go!

Kohl's

Valentino Born In Roma The Gold Eau de Toilette

Not everyone loves wam or musky scents, including your sister. She may enjoy something that smells 'fresh' which is why Valentino's Born In Roma fragrance will work for her. It'll remind her a little of summer, helping to keep some of seasonal depression away.

The Best Self-Care Gifts 

Target

Stanley 40 Oz Quencher Tumbler

Staying hydrated is one of the best ways anyone can boost their wellbeing which is why your busy sister needs a Stanley Tumbler. She can't survive on coffee alone — even if she thinks she can! This tumbler is actually in collaboration with e.l.f. Cosmetics so you know the color payoff and water intake are the best things your sister needs to help power through her day.

Amazon

Allura & Arcia Stress Relief & SelfCare Cards

I'm not going to pretend self-care is easy because there are some days you and your sister aren't going to be in the mood. If it seems like your sister has forgotten how to take care of herself and fan the relaxation fans, surprise her with these stress relief cards. She'll be provided with an activity, it's objectives, and ways to implement it in her daily routine!

Skims

Skims Cozy Knit Unisex Robe

It's time for your sister to have an unparalleled spa day at home. Your only job is to gift her this Cozy Knit Unisex Robe from Skims! Not only is this robe super comfy, but it's also leopard print! I'm telling you now, your sister needs this.

Amazon

Good Molecules Yerba Mate Wake Up Eye Gel

My bias is showing with this gift idea, but I'm sharing it anyway! After a while, everyone needs a good eye product to keep dark circles at bay. If your sister is pulling late nights because she's studying or has to wake up with a newborn, she absolutely needs Good Molecules' Yerba Mate Wake Up Eye Gel. It helps bring much needed life back into the under eye area and even plumps the delicate skin back up.

Amazon

The Sleep Guard Pure Silk Sleep Mask

When your sister's done placing her new eye gel on her eyes, make sure she opens the other gift that contains this Pure Silk Sleep Mask. It'll block out light and make sure her eyes stay protected.

Amazon

BEDELITE Satin Pillowcase

While you're at it, throw in a satin pillowcase for good measure. It's good for reducing frizz and breakage, especially if your sister has naturally curly hair or braids!

Amazon

Lucky Bear Spa Headband And Wristlets Set

Your sister's days of getting her hair and the sleeves of her shirt wet are over because you're absolutely getting her this spa set. I would ask, but I already know this is at the top of your gift idea list for her because you can't get enough of it.

The Best Home & Kitchen Gifts

Target

KitchenAid 5qt 10-Speed Stand Mixer

If your sister is always on cooking or baking duty, save the strength of her arms by investing in a KitchenAid Stand Mixer. She'll lose her mind over the 10 attachments that come with it and the depth of the mixer itself.

P.S. It's by Hearth & Hand Magnolia which may also score you the best sibling award if she loves this brand!

Target

Tabitha Brown 8qt Digital Air Fryer

Wait, an air fryer under $100 exists and it's available at Target? Yes! Tabitha Brown's exclusive collection has so many goodies, but I just know your sister likely doesn't have time to think about making elaborate meals multiple times per week. Ease her mind with this digital fryer that'll let her roast, dehydrate, or even reheat meals!

Your sister will probably brag about her weekly dinners once she starts using this, but she can because "that's her business!"

Ruggable

Ruggable Frances Vintage Teal Blue Rug

If your sister's favorite rug has been dismantled by her pets or kids, she may have mentioned how she's in the market for something that won't show as many stains. Though it's more of a big ticket item, Ruggable's Frances Vintage Teal Blue Rug was made with your sister in mind.

It's one of those rugs that instantly gives a room personality and gets better with time. It's spill-proof, but she can still wash it if she feels like it needs to be refreshed!

Sweet July

Sweet July Alma Throw

It's cozy season so your sister needs a couple of throw blankets to choose from. I actually can't get enough of Sweet July's Alma design because it's so abstract and goes with any design aesthetic. It's also reversible so she can lighten or darken the mood as she sees fit!

Baloo

Baloo Weighted Blanket

I've recently invested in a weighted blanket and I'm not sure what I was doing before. This takes sleepmaxxing to another level so I'm sure your sister will appreciate it! It's sustainably made, but that. doesn't mean it's not washer friendly! She'll enjoy how easy it is to fall asleep and clean one of the best blankets on the market. Again, trust me!

Amazon

Preston Lane The Deluxe 3-Wick Candle

What's a home decor gift without a scented candle? I'm not sure I want to find out so don't make your sister suffer! Gift her the warm and inviting scents of bergamot, fresh lime, Jasmine, tuberose, sandalwood, and cedar. It'll even match her new throw or weighted blanket.

Target

Threshold Medium Faux Wood Table Lamp

I know your sister spends her nights reading a book instead of binge watching new shows sometimes so make sure she has a cute lamp on her bedside table. I personally have this same lamp on my desk and it's so soothing when I'm working in the morning instead of opening my blinds or turning on a bright overhead light.

The Best Motherhood Gifts

Amazon

OWSUMER New Mom Candle

Do I love uplifting moms? Uh, yes! They deserve so much love and tenderness considering all of the things they have to endure. If your sister has recently joined motherhood or is a seasoned mom who's expecting, this candle will bring a smile to her face. I promise you she'll never forget unwrapping it and knowing you're the one who gifted her this!

Amazon

Unboxme Gifts Cloud Socks

Moms are often getting up and down for various reasons, so make sure your sister has something cozy on her feet like these cloud socks. They'll provide a nice barrier between her feet and the carpet or hardwood floors she has to cross to find a snack or break up a little sibling quarrel.

Amazon

EverFoams Fuzzy Open-Toe Slippers

If she doesn't care for wearing socks around the house, you can always gift your sister these cute slippers. They're open-toe, making them the fuzzy, breathable footwear she'll love padding around in.

Amazon

KeaBabies Pregnancy Journal

I'll never forget when my sister gifted me a pregnancy journal when I was pregnant with my son. I still have it and love reviewing different moments from it. Plus, I always think about how it was such a nice gesture from my sister.

From one former pregnant mama to your eyes and ears, this is something you can give your sister if she's currently expecting. She'll always look at it and remember the moment she unwrapped it.

Amazon

MomCozy Breast Therapy Packs

It doesn't matter if your sister is on team breastfeeding or not, her boobs are going to be sore during and after pregnancy — blame it on the hormones. She'll need something soothing in her bra to help combat any aches and pains so please get her these therapy packs.

Amazon

Fourth Trimester Mama Affirmation Cards

The fourth trimester aka postpartum can be really tough for some moms. If your sister has recently given birth and is struggling, don't be afraid to let one of her gifts be these affirmation cards. She'll need reminders that she's not only doing a great job, but that she deserves to be patient with herself.

Amazon

Got You a Little Something Happy Hour Activity Cards

I so wish I would've discovered these activity cards during my sister's last pregnancy, but all that matters is that they're in my orbit now! In addition to affirmation cards, helping your sister rediscover things she likes post-birth is such a huge way of showing her that you still her as a person outside of motherhood.

Subscribe to our newsletter for more gift ideas!

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

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Benny Blanco Loves To "Go All Out" For Selena Gomez Date Nights

Things are heating up betweenSelena Gomez and Benny Blanco since late last year to the surprise of some, but it seems like the couple's romance is just getting started. They're not shy about PDA and posting each other on social media and pretty much telling anyone who doesn't like it to get lost. We love how fiercely supportive they are of each other, giving us so many good green flags! Here's everything we know about the lovely new couple so far.

Keep reading For The Latest News On Selena Gomez And Benny Blanco's Relationship

Selena Gomez And Benny Blanco's Relationship Timeline:

Amy Sussman/Getty Images

March 2019

Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco first collaborated on the song "I Can't Get Enough" along with Tainy and J. Balvin in 2019. Though they were featured in a cute scene together, there weren't any rumors about them being romantically linked then.

August 2023

They didn't work together again until late summer 2023 when he produced Selena's single "Single Soon" with Cashmere Cat.

Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

December 2023

Before 2023 ended, Selena started leaving comments on Instagram that suggested she and Benny Blanco were in fact together. One of the comments she left appear on this Instagram fan page and it reads, "He is my absolute everything in my heart."

Some fans weren't so thrilled to see the two together though and they weren't afraid to express their opinions. But, this only prompted Selena to leave more comments that defended her relationship with Benny.

People grabbed a screenshot of one of the comments Selena responded that revealed the couple had been together for a while. "Not mad. It’s been 6 months bb. I will always defend my friends, family and fans till the day I die," she wrote. They even shared another screenshot from Selena's Instagram Story that showed her wearing a "B" ring on one of her fingers.

Craig Barritt/Getty Images for TIME

December 15, 2023

Soon after that, Selena shared a photo carousel on Instagram that included some of her favorite moments in New York and Benny Blanco can be seen in BTS moments. The last picture of the carousel features them sharing a kiss in a black and white photo that basically confirms the responses the singer had for fans.

December 28, 2023

Before the new year began, Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco spent some time at a cute art exhibit during a date. From the looks of things, it seemed like they discovered their love language of physical touch early on.

Presley Ann/Getty Images for GQ

January 2, 2024

Feeling the love of being with Selena, Benny Blanco took to Instagram Stories to officially signal that the two are dating. People grabbed a few more screenshots that Benny shared and all we can see is the happy glint that was in Selena's eyes.

Sarah Stier/Getty Images

January 3, 2024

The next day the couple were seen court side at one of the Los Angeles Lakers' game. Once again, their love language was on full display in the most intimate way. A source revealed to People that they understood why people had so many opinions about Selena's relationship with Benny. "Everyone was a fan of hers before Only Murders [in the Building], and now everyone is protective of her."

Neilson Barnard/Getty Images

January 15, 2024

Later that month, Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco showed up to the Emmy Awards together. They were sitting side-by-side and weren't afraid to show affection with each other.

Jesse Grant/Getty Images for AFI

March 2024

When Benny Blanco's birthday rolled around, Selena Gomez shared a sweet message to him on Instagram. She wrote, "Happy birthday baby! Your emotional endurance, positive disposition, unbelievable talent (that blows me away), undeniable humor and loving, kind heart absolutely kill me. I love you @itsbennyblanco 🎂🥹."

Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

April 2024

Although we're only four months into the new year, Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco's relationship is still going strong! The Only Murders in the Building star has been seen smiling in every pic she posts which indicates she's genuinely happy in her relationship. A source hinted to People that the two are doing well. "It’s a very serious relationship, and they’re making long distance work while she’s in New York for work commitments," they said.

Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images for Spotify

April 25, 2024

In an interview with WSJ, Benny Blanco gave his POV of how his relationship with Selena Gomez began and it was the cutest revelation. "It’s crazy how your partner could just be sitting there the whole time, right in front of your eyes...And then you have a Clueless moment where you're like, Wait, I'm in love," he says.

A man who compares his relationship to that moment in Clueless where Cher and Josh admit their feelings for each other gets brownie points from us!

May 15, 2024

It looks like Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco's relationship may be ready for the next step — that's if you ask Mr. Blanco. He appeared on The Howard Stern Show yesterday to chat about everything, including his relationship with Selena. When Howard Stern asked, "You want to have kids with Selena? Have you told her you want to have kids yet," Benny replied, "That’s my next goal, to check the box. I have a ton of godkids. I've got a ton of nephews. I love being around kids."

However, he's not in a rush and wants everything to happen naturally. All that matters is that the two of them are in each other's life. He said, "I just know that when I look at her, I just say, ‘I don’t know a world where it could be better than this.’ That’s what I always say to her.”

Neilson Barnard/Getty Images

May 29, 2024

Selena Gomez tells TIME just how much Benny Blanco means to her — no matter what anyone else says. "My own fans, who I adore and feel like have shaped who I am, will say the most hurtful things to me about how I live my life," she says. "But he has the strength in him that none of that noise fazes him. It’s really impressive, and I just cherish every moment with him. I don’t know what the future holds, but I do know that he’s not going anywhere any time soon.”

Selena Gomez/Instagram

October 27, 2024

Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco looked amazing in their Alice in Wonderland couple's Halloween costume. "Curiouser and curiouser," Selena wrote on the post, which is totally reminding us of Taylor Swift's 1989 (hello "Wonderland"!!!).

Selena wore a corset dress in what looks like slate blue with cap puffed sleeves and a tulle skirt, along with a blonde wig, black bow, and slingback shoes. Benny went all out as the Mad Hatter with face paint, a wig, a top hat, and a waistcoat. We'd follow them down the rabbit hole!

November 11, 2024

Benny Blanco's been featured in People's'Sexiest Man Alive' issue and we're kind of feeling it! What started off as an unlikely choice for Selena has turned into a deep understanding of why she loves him so much. The man is an excellent host, cook, and gentleman which makes him an off-the-charts lover. And when it comes to date night, he believes in making sure every time is special. "I [still] go all out for every date. It doesn't mean spending your entire bank account. It means being attentive and listening," he said.

His most memorable dates with Selena involve the times she "rented out a whole botanical garden" and he "got her Taco Bell" before proceeding to make her "movie-theater nachos" and deep-frying her "favorite pickles from Texas" for Valentine's Day.

He also gushed about his favorite time of the day. "I'm a real morning person. It's my favorite time to spend with Sel, because we both wake up really early. It's like our moment before the rest of the world wakes up." Not only that, but the music producer is thrilled he has "a true best friend" he gets to spend his life with.

What do you think about Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco's relationship?Follow us on Facebook for more celebrity news!

This post has been updated.

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31 Holiday Gift Sets That Will Make Them Say “OMG”

Gifting is hard. Unless you're able to work some serious mental magic and track down the most perfect and most personalized gift for everyone on your list, searching for the right thing(s) to give is a full time job! That's where gift sets come in. Gift sets are often packaged up to perfection (taking some precious wrapping time out of the equation), plus they come in every different category you could ever think of!

Below, we've listed our favorite gift sets – that we're totally eyeing for ourselves 👀 – by Beauty, Foodie, Home, and Fashion categories. You're sure to find some gift sets that will make them go crazy!

Scroll on for our favorite holiday gift sets of 2024!

Beauty Gift Sets 

Amazon

Sol De Janeiro Bum Bum Summer Jet Set

With nearly 100 5-star ratings on Amazon, this gift set from Sol De Janeiro brings forth luscious scents of pistachio, salted caramel, and vanilla via a travel-size trio of shower gel, skin cream, and perfume mist.

Target

Camille Rose Scalp Goals Hair Treatment Gift Set

Scalps need TLC too! Your little sister will love this pretty pink gift set that features Camille Rose's Rosemary Oil droplets and a much-needed massager. All she needs to do is section her hair and spend time applying the drops to her hair before massaging them in!

Amazon

Foxybae Rose Gold Round Brush Set

The girls love a blowout – for the gal who always has her locks in check, this round brush gift set will give her routine a rose gold reset. Right now, you can shop this trio for 50% off.

Amazon

LOOPS Hydrogel Face Masks 5-Pack

The face masks in this pack are tailored to virtually any skin type, taking the guesswork out of skincare gifting. Most importantly, the formula is hydrating, which we all know is much needed during wintertime.

Burt's Bees Tips & Toes Gift Set

Dry skin? Nobody has time for that! This Burt's Bees gift set comes prepped with purse-sized hydrating lip, hand, and body products.

Amazon

Laniege Midnight Minis: Lip Sleeping Masks

These lip masks seal up cracked, flaky lips overnight. This is one gift set that'd made of pure magic, soothing throughout the dry season.

Target

R.e.m. Beauty x Wickd Galinda Makeup Set

Can't get enough of Wicked? Achieve Galinda's look with this cute makeup set. It comes with a smudge-proof kohl liner, long-lasting liquid eyeshadow, a hydrating blush & lip stick, and a creamy metallic lipstick. It's the only things you'll need to complete your holiday look!

Henry Rose

Henry Rose Mini Body Spray Trio Set

This gift set sells for $90 ($120 value) and includes three 50ML dreamy scents. Each one is hypoallergenic and cruelty-free, but most notably, they all smell like sheer luxury.

Amazon

Charlotte Tilbury Plillow Talk Beautifying Lip Kit

This gift set has everything required for the perfect juicy pout – coordinating lipstick, lip liner, gloss, and balm.

Amazon

Olaplex In Good Repair Hair Kit

Give the gift of Olaplex's nurturing products with this repair hair kit. It features the No. 3 Hair Perfector, No. 4 Bond Maintenance Shampoo, No. 5 Bond Maintenance Conditioner, and No. 7 Bonding Oil which work overtime to nourish tresses.

Amazon

Pattern by Tracee Ellis Ross Curl Cocktail Kit

Treat someone's curls to their own personal cocktail with this kit! it features mini versions of the brand's leave-in conditioner, styling cream, and curl gel which will aid in the perfect wash and go set. Or, it can simply be used to refresh 3-day-old twist outs!

Amazon

Conair Infinitipro Multi-Styler

If your friend has been interested in a blowout kit without spending a ton of money for one, surprise her with Conair's Multi-Styler. It comes with four attachments that have different functions. You'll get a curling wand, round brush, paddle brush, and a drying nozzle! It also comes with a storage bag to store all the pieces in one organized place.

Amazon

Touchland Power Mist Hydrating Hand Sanitizer Spray Juicy 3-Pack

Everyone is sure to love these aesthetically-pleasing hand sprays. From post-grocery store runs to gym trips, they provide not only sanitization, but gorgeous smells, too. Gift your recipient all three, or split up the pack to grace several stockings.

Poppi

Poppi x InnBeauty Project Sips & Lips Duo

The two lip gloss flavors inspired by Poppi in this gift set channel that of the holiday season. First, Raspberry Rose Glaze gives off a perfect pink tint, then Cranberry Fizz Glaze comes in with a deeper red hue.

Amazon

Rinna Beauty Icon Lip Kit in Kiki

This lip kit has everything you need to create the juiciest and perfectly balanced lip look like Lisa Rinna. What's more is the formulas are all super hydrating and anti-aging!

Foodie Gift Sets

Isle of Harris

Isle of Harris The Harris Serve+ Gift Set

The gin-loving gals and gentlemen will adore this highly-tailored drink set for its botanical influences. The gin gets its character from local sugar kelp seaweed, a story told further by the details in the sleek box.

Peet's Coffee

Peet's Coffee Ultimate Holiday Treats Gift Set

How could you possibly go wrong with coffee and chocolate?! This gift set blesses the gift receiver with a 1lb bag of Peet's Coffee Holiday Blend alongside two seasonal chocolate bars and a box of chocolate cherries. Yummmm.

Nordstrom

Palais des Thés Holiday Favorites Assorted Tea Gift Set

This gift set was made for any tea lover. There's a really nice assortment of tea varieties that they can sip year-round.

Amazon

The Omsom Saucy Noodle Sampler

We gobble Omsom noodles down on a weekly basis, and so far, there are no regrets. This noodle-fied gift set is complete with ten boxes of some of the brand's most-loved flavors – which come deliciously together in only 5 minutes, the ultimate cure for holiday cooking burnout.

Amazon

Clevr Blends Golden SuperLatte

Functional caffeine is one of 2024's food trends, so for the sippers that keep their finger on the foodie pulse, this SuperLatte kit is sure to please!

Brightland

Brightland The Luminous Capsule

Brightland's pure extra virgin olive oils are prime for cooking or drizzling on meals. Even then, the bottle is just fun to look at! This foodie-forward capsule gift set is packed with their Awake olive oil, Champagne vinegar, and California honey.

Home Gift Sets

Material Kitchen

Death & Co x Material The Stirred Set

This design-forward vessel in intended for batched cocktails (or mocktails), so any happy hour host will love it. Gift this piece alongside a list of our best winter-warming drinks.

Target

GreenPan Rio Nonstick Aluminum Cookware Set

If your friend is moving into her new apartment next month, she'll love this cookware set! It features 16 gorgeous blush pots and pans, plus four wooden utensils come with it! They heat really quick which means she won't have to spend a ton of time in the kitchen if she doesn't want to.

Amazon

The Bamboo Abode 10 Piece Cheese and Charcuterie Board Set

This charcuterie gift set is perfect for gifting to the host or hostess in your life. It comes with high-quality utensils and bowls to help them serve. The best part is it also comes with complementary recipes for them to try out! This really is the whole package.

Grove

Grove Co. Holiday Hosting Set

Adults know that a clean house is invaluable, so gifting cleaning products (especially cute ones like these) will definitely spread some cheer amongst the grown-ups. This gift set is fit with 2 soap dispensers, a hand soap refill, a dish soap refill, a candle, and a scrubber sponge.

Character

Character The Essential Tool Set

Okay, hear us out – though not many people would view a literal toolbox as a great gift, this could make a really epic option for the fresh-outta-college or new-homeowner individuals. Plus, you can't deny that this color is cuuute. You can get it for $295 (a $355 value) to help them get their sh*t together.

Amazon

Mosaic Liquid Hand Soap Gift Set

We're not sure about you, but sometimes we just simply do not feel like splurging on home essentials. In the vein of generosity, please gift the adults in your life only practical things – like hand soaps (ahem, this gift set). laundry pods, or dish-washing goods! We promise it will be valuable to them, especially in these times.

Target

Threshold Diffuser Candle Set

Everyone could use a little more relaxation in their lives so gift someone this diffuser candle set. It comes with a soothing candle, room spray, and diffuser that'll make any room smell good!

Fashion Gift Sets

Amazon

17 Mile Store Gold Hoop Earrings

$20 for an entire nine pairs of earrings (and cute earrings at that) is just unheard of. Grab this gift set for the gold hoop-wearer!

Natural Life

Natural Life Happy Box Gift Set

This gift set is packed to the brim with trinkets and decor that will being a sure smile to anyone who gets it.

Amazon

YZKKE Vintage Wool Crew Socks

This set of colorful socks will stylishly accompany them wherever they go!

We're serving up holiday deals + must-have gifts all season long. Sign up for our newsletter so you don't miss out on the good stuff!

Brit + Co. may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

This post has been updated.

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5 Ways To Politely Shut Down Your Family's Invasive Questions During The Holidays

The period ofThanksgiving through the New Year is when with family, often after not seeing them for several months out of the year. This is usually the time where everyone likes to catch up with each other to see if there's potential news they may have missed. But, this sometimes lead to the inevitable prodding questions that can make us want to crawl under the dinner table.

At some point, at least one person usually thinks it okay to ask super personal questions between eating yummy ham and candy recipes.They can range from questions about the class you flunked to your love life, putting you in an uncomfortable spotlight. You may feel like screaming at the top of your lungs, but licensed psychologist Dr. Michele Leno, host of the Mind Matters with Dr. Michelepodcast and therapist Alison McKleroy, LMFT, founder of Center for Spark®and author of the Self-Compassion Journal, have a few suggestions to help you avoid that.

Here's How To Politely Shut Down Your Family's Prodding Questions Over The Holidays!

  • Being around family during the holidays can increase the likelihood of juggling questions you don't wanna answer.
  • Recognizing your own needs and values will help you identify how you want to respond to your family's questions.
  • Setting clear boundaries with your family — and for yourself — can also help you communicate more effectively with your family.
  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and other self-care tools can help you better navigate awkward and tense family scenarios.

What is it about the holidays that trigger uncomfortable or prodding family questions?

Yaroslav Shuraev

If you had a dollar for every time some asked something that created awkward tension during the holidays, how much money would you have? For some reason, it always feels like this is the time for people to ask the most embarrassing questions in the word. But, what if it wasn't done on purpose? Dr. Michele says, "While many love holidays, others dread them. Those who have close family relationships approach the season with ease."

Still, she acknowledges how that's not always the case for everyone. "People with strained family relationships find holidays unbearable. The closeness can encourage prodding that feels invasive. Sometimes, people simply have a need to know the ins and outs of your life."

However, you don't have to feed anyone's curiosity if you don't want to!

How can I politely say that a question is bothering me?

RDNE Stock project

Your first reaction to certain questions may be shock and embarrassment followed by irritation or anger. Those are normal responses when something catches us off guard. While our emotions are justified, the way we want to respond may not be. McKleroy says, "First, it’s crucial to recognize your own needs or values that are stirred up by the question. If your aunt asks you, 'Are you still at that job, or did you finally find a better one,' this question could likely bring up a need for acknowledgement — maybe you want your aunt to see the value in your work."

She further explains, "It could also point to your need for autonomy and freedom to make career choices on your own terms without feeling pressured. You can respond by saying, 'Yep, I'm still at that job, and I'm learning a lot and enjoying being there right now,'" which places the ball in your court without you cursing her name.

This is the time to be curious if you're not sure what your needs are. Like McKleroy says, they're a good indicator of why certain questions bother you. Truthfully, she believes you look at invasive questions as a good thing. "Navigating personal questions from family, especially the kind that feel intrusive, is a chance to courageously practice protecting your peace and setting empowered boundaries," McKleroy says.

Still, you likely need to set boundaries with your family. "Another way you can navigate prodding questions is by expressing your need for privacy in a kind way. If your grandfather asks you about your dating life, you can say, 'I really appreciate your interest, and right now, I’m keeping that part of my life private. I’ll happily share more when I’m ready,'" she suggests. It's a great way for you to "honor his care while respecting your own boundaries," according to her.

What if I'm afraid to set boundaries with my family?

Nicole Michalou

Setting boundaries with anyone isn't always easy, especially if you're a people pleaser or empath. But Dr. Leno says, "It is best to set boundaries up front, understanding that family may or may not respect them." Echoing McKleroy's thoughts about how to redirect certain questions, she says you can tell someone "now is not the time to talk about it."

If you're still afraid of pushback for setting a boundary, she encourages you to "talk to the host or another family member to help you out." Based on her experience, she feels "there is usually someone willing to redirect subjects as needed." If it helps, I've been known to ask my mom or sister an unrelated question to what I'm being asked to signal that I'm feeling anxious about something I've been asked.

Your apprehension about setting boundaries isn't in vain though. It's a real feeling based on a number of things. Dr. Leno says, "Establishing boundaries can be difficult for someone hoping to maintain peace or avoid conflict. They fear appearing hostile. However, your well-being comes first."

What can I do if my family chooses to ignore my boundaries?

Nicole Michalou

Like Dr. Leno said, everyone isn't going to honor your boundaries based on things that have nothing to do with you. It's hard not to take things personal, but it's worth learning how not to internalize their lack of respect. "There are times when your family will disregard your boundaries, so brace yourself. Prepare to protect your mental space, and stand your ground," informs Dr. Leno.

Also, she says that "even if your family repeatedly oversteps, your ability to stick to your boundaries is more important than their willingness to respect them." Should you feel depleted trying to mentally and emotionally guard yourself, she wants you to "take a break by exiting the room or house or venue altogether."

I personally love doing the later if I'm unable to stay grounded when fielding prodding questions and think I'm about to say the wrong thing. Taking a break usually gives me time to calm down and find something else to focus on.

Andrea Piacquadio

If you still need help learning how to deal with your family's invasive questions, there are CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) tools you can rely on. They've been a huge life saver for me which is why I'm always sprinkling them throughout different family and self-care articles. For anyone who's unfamiliar with what CBT is, Dr. Leno says it "focuses on self-management" because "people learn to regulate their emotions by managing their thoughts."

Realistically, the holidays shouldn't cause you to feel stressed out. "If you're feeling emotionally drained leading up to the holidays, your thinking may be the culprit. Your worst-case-scenario think will cause an anxiety build-up that feels unmanageable," warns Dr. Leno.

Instead, she wants to try developing "some self-care tools" like:

  • "Only sharing what makes you comfortable"
  • "Refusing to answer certain questions because the person asking will get over it"
  • Managing your anxiety with deep breathing"
  • Avoiding the all-or-nothing mindset. It is perfectly fine to limit your participation in the festivities. Give yourself permission to leave early if necessary."

Follow us on Instagram for more ways you can indulge in self-care!

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

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