What to Do If You Find Out Your Friend’s S.O. Is Cheating

It’s a nightmare scenario: Somehow, you’ve found out that your friend’s partner is up to no good. Whether you saw them out with someone else, heard about it from a friend of a friend, or maybe even got wind of it directly from the source, it’s a sticky and emotional situation. It’s a no-brainer to support a friend when they’re going through something difficult, like dealing with depression or getting over a breakup, or even something exciting, like getting engaged. Cheating, on the other hand, is a tough topic to bring up, especially if you’re the one clueing in your friend. It’s hard to know whether you should give them a heads up or not, since you might not know all the nitty-gritty details of their relationship. We asked a relationship expert how to handle this less-than-ideal situation.

1. Don’t panic. The first thing you should do is resist the urge to freak out, says Alexandra H. Solomon, PhD, staff therapist at The Family Institute at Northwestern University, and author of Loving Bravely: 20 Lessons of Self-Discovery to Help You Get the Love You Want.“When you find out something like this, it creates a crisis. In a crisis, our knee-jerk reaction is to move fast and do something NOW!” she explains. But if you do something too hastily, like calling your friend and telling them everything ASAP, you might end up regretting it. “Therefore, the first thing to do in this situation is pause. Sit quietly. Breathe. Take your time. Slow yourself down so that you can mindfully and consciously choose your next move.”

2. Decide whether or not to tell. While there are some cases where telling your friend is the obvious choice, there are just as many where the line between okay and not okay are murkier. After all, what’s cheating in one relationship might not qualify as a betrayal in another. If you don’t know the details of your friend’s relationship with their partner, this is definitely something to consider. “Two things stand out as especially relevant,” says Dr. Solomon. “First, I would invite you to be guided by the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. What would you want if you were the one in this spot?” Putting yourself in your friend’s shoes might help you make a decision. “Second, look ahead,” she suggests. “If you do not tell, what do you imagine it’ll be like to be with your friend knowing that you are holding this secret? If you do tell, what might the impact be on your friendship? Have you guys gotten through rough patches before? How have you made repairs with each other in the past?”

3. If you’re going to say something, be absolutely sure. It would be really unfortunate to bring something of this magnitude to your friend’s attention if it’s not completely true. “If you decide to tell, I would want you to make sure you were working off of reliable information,” says Dr. Solomon. “If you saw something with your own eyes, I would suggest that you report what you saw. Just the facts. No commentary, hypotheses, analysis, or inference. Let your friend follow up with their S.O. and find out what it might mean.”

4. Practice compassion. If you’ve decided to tell your friend what you know, “Make sure that you do what you need to do to put yourself in a calm, compassionate, empathic, and open-hearted place before you begin,” says Dr. Solomon. If it’s difficult for you to have the conversation, tell them it wasn’t easy for you to share this with them. “Let them know that you went back and forth about the pros and cons of speaking versus not speaking and that it is up to them whether they want to talk with you about it or not,” she adds.

How to Talk to Your Friend

If you do decide to tell your friend what you know, here’s Dr. Solomon’s list of things to avoid doing or saying during your chat:

1. Don’t tell them what to do next.

2. Don’t use the word “should.” Research indicates that most married people who find out their partner cheated do NOT end the marriage. You have no idea what they “should” do next. That’s totally up to them.

3. Don’t look for reasons why it happened, or worse, blame them for it.

4. Don’t judge their S.O. It’s not your place to make a judgment about what happened.

When all is said and done, remember that your friend is probably going to be hurting. “It might be really hard for your friend to be mad at their S.O., so they might opt to be mad at you instead,” Dr. Solomon warns. And if they wish you hadn’t told them? “Let them know that you imagined if the tables were turned, and you did for them what you imagined that you would if you were in their shoes,” she says.

Have you ever had to tell a friend that their partner was cheating? Tell us how you handled it @BritandCo!

(Photos via Getty)

Arguments are a totally natural part of any relationship, but how we communicate and express our feelings during these tense situations can make all the difference.

When disagreements become frustrating, and emotions run high, it's easy to say things in the heat of the moment that we might not even mean. Yet, regardless of whether we regret our words, certain things cannot be taken back once they're spoken.

Plus, your statement could leave a lasting scar on your partner and cause a rift in your relationship that takes a while to heal.

That's why it's important to think carefully before you speak and avoid saying these 12 things to your significant other, even if you're angry at them.

Scroll to find out the things you should never say to your partner in an argument.

1. "You're crazy."

KATRIN BOLOVTSOVA

As soon as you tell your partner that they're "crazy" during a fight, you're suggesting that you don't trust their judgment or reasoning. Moreover, you're implying that their emotions are irrelevant and they don't have a right to feel the way they do.

Rather than jumping to this damaging statement, take a step back and try to truly listen to what they're upset about.

2. "I don't care."

Antoni Shkraba

On a similar note, telling your partner that you "don't care" when they're attempting to share their concerns is a recipe for disaster.

You're immediately shutting down any opportunity to resolve the issue at hand together and, again, invalidating your partner's feelings. Couples are supposed to care and support each other, especially during tough times, so saying "I don't care" is a cop-out that won't solve your argument any sooner.

3. "You always..." or "You never..."

Timur Weber

"Always" and "never" are absolute phrases, meaning the behavior referred to actually has to occur every single time. If there's one thing that's true about humans, though, it's that we don't tend to do anything 100% the same way in literally every scenario.

These absolute phrases are typically used during fights to call attention to habit patterns. But while they may feel appropriate in your mind, it can feel like an attack on your partner.

Moreover, saying they "always" or "never" do something will only add fuel to the fire if it's not entirely true.

4. "Why can't you be more like..."

Thirdman

We all have a relative or friend who seems to have a picture-perfect relationship. So, in times of irritation, it can be tempting to ask why your partner can't be more like your best friend's boyfriend, for instance, or your brother's girlfriend.

Just remember that comparison is the thief of joy, and in relationships, it can plant seeds of doubt about your love in your partner's mind. We are supposed to care for our significant others unconditionally, but by comparing them to someone else, you're implying that they aren't enough for you.

5. "You'd do it if you loved me."

Yan Krukau

There's nothing more immature or damaging than trying to emotionally blackmail your partner into doing something you want.

It's manipulative, pressuring, and shows that you don't respect your partner's boundaries. It can also create an imbalance of power and cause your significant other to feel taken advantage of.

6. "You've changed."

RDNE Stock project

Evolution is how humans survive, so it is natural for people to change in relationships, whether they be romantic or platonic.

When partnerships grow from short to long-term, different life events are bound to happen, too. Being presented with struggles or trauma and how we cope with those challenges can change a person.

So, accusing your partner of "changing" with a negative connotation is unhealthy. It suggests that things are supposed to stay stagnant, never transforming, which isn't realistic and will probably just be perceived as judgmental.

7. "My ex would never do that."

Viktoria Slowikowska

Just like how you shouldn't compare your significant other to people in other happy relationships, you should never compare them to your exes, either.

First, this will definitely escalate the argument, making your partner feel angry and insecure. On top of that, they may begin to question your love and trust, wondering if you'd rather be with your ex than them.

8. "This was a mistake."

Nataliya Vaitkevich

It's never smart to make choices when tensions are high. That's why you should avoid making snap decisions about your relationship in the middle of arguments.

Once you utter the words "this was a mistake," it signals that you don't believe in your relationship at all. Whether you mean it or not, this statement can be extremely hard to come back from once things settle down and you want to make amends.

9. "I don't find you attractive anymore."

MART PRODUCTION

Saying "I don't find you attractive anymore" can be intended in two different ways. Perhaps you're trying to hurt your partner's feelings in regard to their appearance, or you mean their behavior is making them unattractive in your eyes.

Either way, bringing aesthetic opinions into play during an argument isn't productive. Instead of focusing on the actual issue at hand, you're just upsetting your partner more and introducing another thing to fight about.

10. "Your parents are the reason why..."

Antoni Shkraba

Maybe you're in a relationship with someone who dealt with childhood trauma. Or their parents might not approve of their partnership.

It's undeniable that both of these scenarios can make nurturing a romantic relationship more difficult. So why use your shared grievance as ammunition against your partner?

By involving their family in your argument, you're creating a divide between you and your partner rather than trying to tackle whatever problem you're facing as a united front.

11. Saying Nothing

Keira Burton

Along with all of these statements, saying nothing to your partner during an argument is just as harmful. Stonewalling them or giving them the cold shoulder isn't going to solve anything, and it makes you seem uncompassionate and immature.

Think about it: how would you feel if you were trying to express your feelings, and the person on the receiving end walked away or went on their phone, ignored eye contact, and said nothing in response? Would that diffuse the situation or make you feel heard? Probably not.

12. "Divorce."

Alex Green

Last but not least, you shouldn't ever call for divorce in the midst of a fight. After tying the knot with someone and making vows to stick by their side through thick and thin, asking for a divorce is serious.

Separation threats shouldn't be tossed around casually, and even if you don't truly mean it, merely uttering the word can lead your partner to doubt and second-guess your relationship.

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Joe Goldberg (Penn Badgley) is back for another season of snooping and stalking in New York City, and thanks to the new You season 5 trailer, we know exactly when this new TV show is returning. In addition to showing us characters from the past like Guinevere Beck (Elizabeth Lail), Love Quinn (Victoria Pedretti), and Marienne Bellamy (Tati Gabrielle), Joe straight-up says goodbye to the one person who's always been there: you. Yep, Netflix went there.

“Every season they manage to find new space to make it interesting and relevant,” Penn Badgley told Tudum. “And this season, I think somehow coming back to where it started allowed for it to just become grounded in the way that it needs to also have this kind of spectacular finish.”

Here's the latest update on Penn Badgley's You season 5.

The You season 5 trailer teases the beginning of the end.

The official You season 5 trailer talks about a universal truth: the fact that love tests us. (Gosh, don't I know it.) And TBH, it kind of just reemphasizes that Joe is cuh-razy.

We also get a look at his new love interest Kate, and hear that this "is the last time" Joe's going to be tested. Run girl!!

"Hello, you. Do you remember me? Cause I remember you," Joe asks in the You season 5 teaser, over shots of New York City and Mooney's Books. "Here we are together again, back to where it began."

"A lot has happened these many years together," he continues. "Identities, cities, loves, complications." The trailer is a walk down memory lane for viewers and for Joe as he remembers Beck, Love, and Marienne — and locking them up. Plus some fights and escapes he made along the way.

"All that led me here to now, to where I as always meant to be," he says. "And the one constant, the one thing that has always been there for me, is you. You who have been there the whole time and will be there with me to the end. Goodbye, you."

Okay, this is totally giving me Black Mirror, metaverse vibes, especially since Joe's in his creepy underground bunker with all that blue lighting. I have chills down my spine just watching this!

Is season 5 of You coming out?

Yes, You season 5 is dropping on Netflix April 24, 2025.

We've been waiting for new episodes since season 4 premiered in 2023, but the writers and stars have been planning Joe's ending for much longer. "We have some ideas that we've been talking about pretty much from the beginning," Sera Gamble told EW when she was showrunner in 2023. "It's really the debate about what kind of justice would be fair and appropriate for a guy like Joe. And then do we believe that he would get that kind of punishment? My short answer is like, maybe not from the American system. But there might be other ways. So that's the stuff we're talking about."

But whatever these writers and directors have up their sleeves, Penn Badgley promises You season 5 will come to a "perfect" conclusion. “I would love for people to just be like, ‘Wow, it’s over and I feel good and I don’t want to watch it again,'" he told Harper's Bazaarin March of 2023. And honestly, a perfect ending is all TV fans can hope for these days, right?

Who's in the You season 5 cast?

The final season of You stars Penn Badgley, Madeline Brewer, Anna Camp, Charlotte Richie, and Griffin Matthews.

Are you excited for the final season of You? I cannot wait to see the way Penn Badgley and Netflix bring the show to a close. Follow us on Facebook for the latest You season 5 news — and updates on all your favorite TV shows!

This post has been updated.

We've all heard of "roommate syndrome." The buzzword refers to when once-infatuated partners start living together, fall into a familiar rhythm, and begin to act more like platonic roommates than two people in a romantic relationship. But whether you actually live with your significant other or not, this phenomenon can still unfold. For some, busy schedules and demanding jobs threaten to come between their partnership; for others, personal stresses, mounting pet peeves, or differing goals can start to dismantle the unconditional love and connection you once felt.

Regardless of the cause (and despite what certain people may tell you), it's natural to drift apart from your significant other sometimes. Life isn't linear, and neither are our relationships. With that being said, once you recognize the signs, you can always work to undo the damage and reconnect with your partner, too. So, here are some of the telltale indicators that you're growing apart.

Scroll to find out the subtle signs you're growing apart from your partner!

1. Physical Affection Is Nonexistent

Kampus Production

Practically everyone can think back to a time when they were in a brand-new relationship, and the "honeymoon phase" seemed to be filled with never-ending hand-holding and kissing. Those of us in long-term relationships know that this behavior tends to fade over time.

However, there should still be a balance, and no physical affection at all could signal something is wrong beneath the surface. Before jumping to a conclusion, talk to your partner and determine if something exterior is making them not want to be affectionate. Or, if you've noticed a consistent pattern, have an honest conversation to express your needs.

2. Communication Is Limited

RDNE Stock project

Aside from remaining physically connected, talking to one another is how relationships survive. Without this glue, it's easy for partnerships to fall apart.

We'd like to call attention to a common misconception, though. More specifically, the quantity of conversation is not as important as the quality. For instance, if your partner suddenly isn't texting back immediately or engaging in super long conversations over dinner, it's not an immediate cause for concern.

Again, it's natural for previously endless conversations to shorten as relationships become more long-term. Rather, quality is what you should assess. If you feel as though your talks with your partner have become surface-level or like you can't truly express your feelings anymore, that's an indicator you may be drifting.

3. You're Stuck In The Blame Game

Liza Summer

It's completely normal to have disagreements with your partner or just get frustrated by some of their usual habits. However, when you try to communicate your feelings, do either of you ever jump to criticize or throw blame?

When someone is tired or under stress, an occasional outburst like that may be understandable. But repeatedly criticizing or blaming your partner for issues that you should be tackling together is a recipe for disaster.

Not only will the person being criticized or blamed get their feelings hurt, but it will also reduce trust and lead to perceived disrespect. All of this can make you and your partner feel as if you're growing apart.

4. You No Longer Talk About Future Plans

Alex Green

When you enter a relationship, decision-making becomes a two-person endeavor. It can also be really motivating and thrilling to discuss future plans together, whether that be moving to a new city, starting a business, or growing a family.

Yet, if these conversations randomly come to a halt or seem more like fantasies than realistic, that's a red flag. It can suggest that either you or your partner don't feel like you're on the same page or there's no longer excitement about your future life together.

5. Conflict Avoidance

Timur Weber

Relationships take serious work, and problems can't be fixed without effort from both parties. That's mainly why communication is so critical; it keeps things from feeling one-sided and facilitates conflict resolution.

So, if you or your partner actively tries to avoid discussing things that need to be addressed, it could mean you're drifting. Either you are afraid to open up a can of worms, perhaps because you've been blamed or criticized in the past, or you just don't feel like dealing with the problem is worth it.

6. Less Appearance Effort

Polina Zimmerman

After being in a relationship for a while, people tend to get comfortable. And that's actually a good thing. It signals that you feel safe, secure, and accepted for who you really are.

Still, there is a line that distinguishes natural comfort from complacency. If you or your partner don't try to look nice on special occasions anymore, it could suggest that you're taking each other for granted.

Of course, lounging around in athleisure wear at home or wearing no makeup is totally natural and acceptable. But if outfits and hygiene for date nights, anniversaries, birthdays, or other outings are becoming increasingly disheveled, it's a red flag.

7. You No Longer Participate In Shared Interests

RDNE Stock project

One of the best parts about having a significant other is discovering what interests you both share and participating in them together. Active couples might enjoy hiking, playing pickleball, or golfing, while more creative types may love concerts, visiting museums, and traveling.

Not only are these activities more fun when done with someone you love, but they also allow you to create new memories and spend quality time together. So, if you and your partner previously loved trying new things together, but the frequency has fallen off, it could mean something is wrong.

Your relationship suddenly lacks the closeness you both once felt through your hobbies, and the reduced connection can make you feel separated from your partner.

8. Even When You're Together, You Feel Alone

Antoni Shkraba

Finally, those who remain in love for decades generally share similar views of their significant others: their partners are their best friends.

But if you find yourself feeling alone while sitting next to your partner on the couch at the end of each night, that's a problem. Yes, friends and other relatives are important for maintaining separate platonic relationships and your own sense of identity, yet you shouldn't feel like you have to seek out companionship entirely from other people.

Even couples with completely different backgrounds, jobs, and interests can still manage to operate as a caring and united entity. So, unfortunately, feeling alone while spending time with your partner may be a sign that you've lost a sense of connection and have drifted apart.

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Every Gilmore Girls rewatch gives us new details to love about Lorelai, Rory, and town of Stars Hollow: Lorelai's amazing sense of style, the cozy fall setting, and all the underrated characters we know like the back of our hands. But there are also plenty of moments in the series' 7-season run that fans don't like at all. Here are just a few.

Keep reading for the 10 worst moments in Gilmore Girls, from Rory's multiple affairs to Lorelai just up and ditching Max.

1. Rory sleeping with Dean while he was married to Lindsay.

Warner Bros. Television

The end of season 4 marks one of the first big plot points Gilmore Girls fans hate. Rory loses her virginity to Dean, who (for some reason) she calls "my Dean"...despite the fact he's married to Lindsay. It's a huge moral lapse and shows that Rory genuinely thinks she can always get her way.

2. Rory's affair with Logan in 'Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life.'

Saeed Adyani/Netflix

You'd think Rory would learn her lesson after hooking up with Dean blew up in her face...but apparently not because in A Year in the Life, she's having an affair with an engaged Logan. Come ON y'all, what are you doing!?

3. Rory dropping out of Yale & stealing a yacht.

Warner Bros. Television

While we're on the topic of Logan and Rory, her impulsive decision to drop out of Yale and commit theft in season 5 (after Logan's dad tells Rory she doesn't have what it takes to be a good journalist) nearly derails her entire life.

4. Lorelai and Rory's rift.

Warner Bros. Television

There's really a butterfly effect in place here because after Lorelai learns Rory drops out of Yale, they have a huge falling out...and barely speak for months. The fact that the entire TV show hinges on Lor and Rory's relationship, and their love for each other, makes this one of the worst Gilmore Girls moments.

5. Literally anything to do with Lorelai and Christopher.

Warner Bros. Television

Christopher is the ultimate Gilmore Girls villain, and he proves over and over again that he won't be there for the Gilmore girls. And that's what makes Lorelai constantly returning to him — especially when someone as constant and caring as Luke is RIGHT THERE — so frustrating.

6. Rory being a horrible journalist.

Warner Bros. TV

Not having pitches prepared and falling asleep while listening to a source? You know what...maybe Mitchum was right and Rory really doesn't have what it takes to be a journalist.

7. Rory missing Lorelai's graduation.

Warner Bros. Television

After Lorelai sacrificed so much for Rory, GG fans agree that Rory choosing her mom's graduation day to visit Jess in New York (when she could have chosen any other day) is one of the worst Gilmore Girls moments. And not only did she miss the ceremony, she lost Lorelai's present too!

8. Jackson's vasectomy disaster.

Warner Bros. Television

When Melissa McCarthy got pregnant in real life, Amy Sherman-Palladino decided to write it into the show...and decided that Jackson would lie about getting a vasectomy and then get Sookie pregnant. Such a strange and icky plotline that viewers are not fans of.

9. Luke hiding April from Lorelai.

Suzanne Hanover/Netflix

Gilmore Girls lovers all agree that Luke is one of their favorite characters...and that the way he handles learning he has a daughter leaves something to be desired. Plus, Luke hiding April's existence from Lorelai? I understand where the Reddit user who considers the plot "unnecessary and lazy" is coming from.

10. Lorelai ditching Max ahead of their wedding.

Warner Bros. Television

Max was genuinely such a good guy (not to mention the fact he proposes to Lor with a thousand yellow daisies!!!), which makes the fact she randomly ghosts him ahead of their wedding so much worse.

11. Lane getting pregnant.

Saeed Adyani/Netflix

First off, let me say that of course there's nothing wrong with wanting to start a family. But GG fans have always felt frustrated by the fact all Lane wanted was to be drummer, then had to shelve those dreams for a bit when she learned she was expecting. Why couldn't she have her cake and eat it too?!

What's your pick for the worst Gilmore Girls moment? Let us know on Facebook!

Spring is my favorite time of year not only for the warmer temperatures, but because it signals a much-needed change in my wardrobe. Where heavy coats and turtlenecks were once in rotation (or, let's be real, t-shirts and sweatpants), light layers and flowy dresses come out to play.

Even in light of this transitional time, I still find myself reaching for boots to pair with any and every outfit I put together! There's a perfect pair of spring boots for you, too, whether you like a Western-inspired look or a more practical walking boot.

Scroll on for the best of this season's spring boots to step out in utter style!

Nordstrom

Dingo Harlee Moto Boots

An easy way to transition moto boots from winter to spring is to snag 'em in a lighter color, as opposed to an all-black pair. These mid-calf boots from Dingo have all the classic details (that go with every outfit!), from the hooped harness to the top buckle.

Anthropologie

Frye Campus Boots

You can also never go wrong with this beloved boot from Frye. The light, banana-colored leather is quite literally the perfect hue for wearing with everything in your spring wardrobe!

Nordstrom

Madewell The Darcy Ankle Boots

If taller spring boots don't speak to your style (or your comfort levels), ankle boots are the way to go! This sleek, pointed pair comes in a handful of colors – for spring, opt for lighter shades, but if you're shopping for an all-season boot, black will never fail.

SeaVees

SeaVees Bolinas Off Shore Boots

These 100% waterproof natural rubber boots will come in super handy on rainy spring days! They're extremely easy to put on (thanks to the pull tabs) and walk in since they're fashioned with a memory foam footbed.

Tecovas

Tecovas The Cassie Boots

Western wear is one of my personal favorite fashion trends, so I will always support cowgirl-esque boots like these for any season – but these could look so stunning with a swingy spring dress! The sheen of these leather cuties ultimately make them more fashion-forward than your typical Western boot, plus they're comfy enough to wear on a night out.

Nordstrom

Dingo Anarchy Leather Booties

These adorable booties give the moto energy your spring 'fits are craving, all without the restriction of a traditional tall boot! While you could shop 'em in black, brown, or olive, this rustic red color might just be exactly what you need to infuse a bit of color into your spring looks.

Free People

Free People Hybrid Harness Boots

Okay, yes! These boots are downright dreamy. Not quite a full boot, they boast hints of clogs and loafers, too, offering a playful preppy look – just the energy we all need for the new season! I would style them with some socks, a mini skirt, and light sweater to step out on the town this spring.

Rothy's

Rothy's The Classic Boots

Rothy's boots are ideal for the commuter or just the comfy shoe-lover. Fashioned with a bespoke insole, they offer "unbelievable, cushion-like comfort" with every step. Plus, the material is made with a bit of stretch for added room. This leopard print pair would make the perfect statement shoe for springtime, though they also come in a few other solid colorways.

Urban Outfitters

Steve Madden Rocky Buckled Tall Boots

If your personal style leans more edgy, you're likely already in love with these buckled boots. Though they make a perfect match for baggy or cuffed jeans in the wintertime, you should totally show off the whole shoe for spring by wearing them with a mini skirt or dress!

Anthropologie

Matisse Sienna Western Boots

These Western boots are everything! The floral stitching recalls spring in the most stylish way, plus, thanks to the solid black colorway, you'll be able to pair them seamlessly with the rest of your wardrobe.

Urban Outfitters

Hunter Micah Lug Sole Rain Boots

It can be a real challenge to balance style and practicality when ti comes to spring boots. Luckily, with these Hunter boots, you don't have to sacrifice either. The lug sole and waterproof outer can easily tackle rainy terrain while the cushioned footbed ensures comfort along the way.

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