How To Know When You Should Break Up With A Childhood Friend

1. Acting possessive is a huge friend red flag.

"You don't have to prove you're my BEST friend by constantly saying it to everyone out loud or excluding people with inside jokes — you can just BE my best friend," says editor Haley Sprankle. Like y'all, friendships aren't supposed to make us feel like an item!

2. They don't care about your boundaries.

If a friend doesn't care about boundaries you've set in place, that's a clear sign they don't actually value your relationship. One user on X thinks it's a huge red flag if "they do not respect your time, boundaries, energy, possessions, work, privacy, or space. They expect you to change and adjust yourself to their liking."

3. It's a red flag if a friend never pays attention during conversations...

One big friend red flag is when someone never pays attention while you're trying to have a heart-to-heart — or if they're checking other messages. "One of my pet peeves is when people constantly check their Apple watches when we're in the middle of a conversation," says Entertainment Editor Chloe Williams. "Which is also why I will never buy one for myself."

4. Or if they only talk about themselves.

We all joke that our dates never ask us questions, but the same rule should apply to friendships! Staff writer Kayla Walden considers it a friend red flag if someone "never [reciprocates] questions and [asks] how I am (a selfish needy Gemini here)." So valid.

5. Never learning to work through disagreements should be a friendship red flag.

"A red flag in friendships is being agreeable on every little thing," @mikaylaxcvi says on X. "I’d much rather be told the truth, lightly & sweetly, than coddled. A grow together type of friendship." Preach.

6. Realizing a friend expects to be the center of your universe is a huge no-no.

Staff writer Jasmine J. Williams says one issue she finds in friendships is if the supposed friend wants to be the most important person in every situation, like "getting upset because of your work schedule, life's emergencies, navigating newborn stage, etc." No thanks!

7. A friend shouldn't be rude to others.

It's totally natural to be closer to some people than others. But making a point to exclude everyone around you? Not the vibe. "Red flag: when I notice they make plans without including everyone in the room but they make it loud enough for everyone to hear that they're making plans," says Brit + Co Social Media Assistant Melanie Cornejo.

8. And a friend shouldn't be overly critical.

B+C editor Haley also things a friend red flag is when someone is "critical of all their friends' new relationships."

9. Turning every single detail into a competition is a friendship red flag.

"Acting like everything is a competition really stresses me out and definitely has the potential to end a relationship before it begins," Entertainment Editor Chloe says. "It just makes every conversation feel inauthentic."

10. And friends DEFINITELY shouldn't talk behind your back.

Talking crap to other people is a major friend red flag, hello! "If you are friends with someone who talks sh—t about people but smiles in their face later in front of you..Guess what they’ll eventually do to you?" @oriiizgold tweeted.

11. A friend also shouldn't make you feel bad about yourself.

It's not great if friends "make 'innocent jabs' at you around other people," Social Media Assistant Melanie says. If conversations constantly make you feel bad, then that's definitely not good, y'all.

12. Outright refusing to engage with current issues isn't great.

Limiting your social media & news exposure for mental health is one thing, but completely ignoring the state of the world is another. "If you [don't know] and don't wanna know about war crimes, current conflicts, and famine is just you enjoying your privilege and living in your bubble and I see it as a lack of humanity so...red flag," @OvenPsychological485 says on Reddit.

13. And don't forget, YOU don't want to have friendship red flags either!

"My friendship red flag for myself is when I notice myself starting to contort into being obsessively helpful & overly accommodating," @pigletish says on X. "Means I don’t feel comfortable, am masking to perform likability & need to check-in on why I feel discomfort." That's a good reminder for us all!

Don't Fall For "Perfect Families" On Social Media

The first VERY important step to having a joyous holiday season when you're going it alone is to stop believing the narrative that others' family situations are perfect, Eichler says.

"Remember people only post a moment in time, and only the moments when they look their happiest and best."

In addition to the fact that everything you see on social media is curated for the 'gram, it's also important to remember that by focusing on what others have and you lack, you risk failing to see the great things at play in your own life.

"These holiday periods can become a time of focusing on who and what we don't have, rather than who or what we do, and can cause a negative spiral into depressing and dreadful feelings of inadequacy," says Eichler.

Gratitude is the reason for the season, after all. So instead of only seeing the negative, try some gratitude journal prompts to help you focus on what's actually really wonderful about your life right now.

Make An Effort To Deepen New Connections

While it may seem like everyone has friends and family to spend time with during the holiday season, that doesn't mean no one is available for deepening a blossoming relationship or new friendship.

"Make a list of people you can or would like to connect with, and try to reach out to at least one of them," advises Eichler.

Reaching out doesn't have to mean a big plan or an hour-long conversation. Even a quick text letting a friendly coworker know you're thinking about them can go a long way toward deepening the relationship and moving it in the direction of closer friendship.

Don't have an acquaintance in mind? Then it's time to make new acquaintances. What's more in line with the Christmas spirit than attending a Meetup or event full of people eager to make new friends?

"Join groups with similar interests to yours, such as hiking, baking, or games. Push your boundaries and be brave - you might find new people who have much in common with you."

Give Back

The holiday season is a great time to focus on giving back to your community, and coincidentally, acts of generosity and kindness are known to reduce loneliness and help people feel happier. One study found that knowing a few of your neighbors and doing small acts of kindness for them — such as cheering them up, listening to them, mowing their lawn, providing advice about local business recommendations and job opportunities, and chatting over the fence — was statistically correlated with feeling less lonely and having a lower risk of depression.

Helping out elderly neighbors can be a particularly gratifying way to give back.

"Notice older lonely people in your neighborhood or community who might have no family at all, and offer to help them," says Eichler. "These can become mutually meaningful connections, and help you 'adopt' a grandparent."

Connect With Others Online

Finally, use the Internet for its highest and best purpose: to connect people. Whether you're using Meetup to find in-person events, digital forums for having conversations about special interests, or programs like Circle for getting support from others in your situation, the opportunities to create new connections are practically endless.

"There are many interest groups that can be found digitally, where or any person can connect with others in the same life stage, going through the same challenges, or who would like to explore the same interests," Eichler states. "Meaningful connections can be formed easily in these circumstances. The Internet enables us to find and connect to people all over the world who fit this, and to whom we can become more easily attached, as we are able to find people with the exact interests that energize us."

The Three Lives of Cate Kay by Kate Fagan (New Release)

It's not until something forces her to make peace with where she comes from that 'Cate Kay' decides it's time to stop running from who she is.

Here's What Reese Witherspoon Had To Say About The Three Lives of Cate Kay

Reese Witherspoon never shies away from telling her adoring fans why she chose a book and this month is no different. On her book club's official Instagram page, she wrote: "Have you ever felt like you were living more than one life? That’s exactly what Cate Kay is grappling with in our January pick, The Three Lives of Cate Kay by @KateFagan3. She’s a literary sensation, the face behind a blockbuster film trilogy, but her life isn’t what it seems. This story swept me away with its big dreams, love, and unexpected twists."