When to Factor Your S.O. into Big Life Decisions (and When Not To)

When you’re up against a big life transition, like graduating from college or moving to a new city, some parts of your life will inevitably change. While your friends and family will always be there for you, navigating your relationship with a significant other during these times of change can be tough. Caitlin Bergstein, a Boston-based matchmaker with Three Day Rule, gave us some insight on when and when not to “factor someone in” when making big life decisions.

According to Bergstein, there are four situations where it’s necessary or permissible to factor your significant other into your life.

1. You live together. “When you live with your significant other, you definitely want to consider and factor them into any major life decisions or events,” Bergstein says. “Most of the time, these decisions will have a direct impact on them anyway — so make that decision together so they don’t ultimately resent you for it.”

2. You expect them to be in the next chapter. There’s a simple question you can ask yourself to see if this is true: When you picture your future, is your partner in it? If the answer is yes, you’ll probably want to start making decisions that allow that to happen.

3. You know you’d give up an opportunity for them. Forgoing career opportunities for the sake of love can be scary, but if it’s something you know you’d hypothetically do, you’re in a place where including your S.O. in future decisions is a good idea, Bergstein tells us. “When you’re faced with a big decision or opportunity, think about what’s more important to you: moving forward for yourself or moving forward with your S.O.,” she says. “Discovering the underlying answer will help you figure out whether or not you need to factor them in.”

4. You’d want them to factor you in. If the situation were reversed, what would you want your partner to do? Bergstein says that asking yourself this question is a great litmus test for how you should proceed.

These cases where you should factor your partner into big decisions are important to consider. However, it’s equally important to understand when NOT to include your current bae in future-oriented planning.

1. You’re unsure of where the relationship is going. All relationships are unique and follow unique timelines, but Bergstein cautions against factoring someone into your life if your relationship is brand new, or if you two aren’t serious quite yet.

2. Your gut tells you not to. “I’m a big believer in trusting and following your gut — so if, for whatever reason, your gut is screaming at you to not include your S.O., you probably shouldn’t,” Bergstein says. “If this is the case, do some deep soul searching to figure out why.”

3. Your relationship isn’t the future you’re looking for. A wonderful relationship doesn’t necessarily mean that person is the one you should build your life around, Bergstein says. Consider the qualities that are important to you in a future partner, and if your current boo just doesn’t add up, you can feel more confident moving forward on your own.

How do you and your partner make life decisions together? Let us know @BritandCo!

(Photo via Getty)

Valentine's Day is next month, so it's time for a little tough love. Are you ready? Deep breath... You're not going to get far in your relationship by wondering, "What are we doing?" anymore. For such a simple question, it carries the weight of being vague and loaded. It's not that you shouldn't want to know where your relationship is headed, but there are better questions to ask your boyfriend.

From my first relationship to being engaged with an energetic toddler, I know a thing or two about how to broach certain topics. But, I'm no one's expert so I turned to Sean O'Neill, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Clinical Director at Maple Moon Recovery, to help you figure out how to get to the heart of your relationship.

Scroll to see which deep questions to ask your boyfriend for a better, healthier relationship!

Andres Ayrton

1. Questions To Ask If You're In The 'Honeymoon' Stage

Whenever we finally move from flirting with our crushes to being in a relationship with them, it's typically followed by a period of euphoria. You and your boyfriend likely can't get enough of each other right now which is probably making your friends playfully roll their eyes. Since everything is brand new, you can still keep it light though.

O'Neill suggests asking "open-ending questions that prompt curiosity and connection:"

  • What's one dream you've never let me in on?
  • What's one little gesture that can make you feel valued?

"These couple of queries facilitate bonding while generating enthusiasm for the goals and interests of each other," he says.

Budgeron Bach

2. Questions To Ask After Your First Big Fight

Even if you and your boyfriend are super tuned in to each other, a disagreement or argument is bound to happen. In case you're worried, your relationship isn't on thin ice because you're not seeing eye-to-eye on something. O'Neill says you can ask:

  • How do you think we handled the argument?
  • What could we do differently next time to make our future fights more productive?

His reasoning is that these questions "promote growth and empathy" so "disagreements are transformed into stronger communication opportunities."

Note: Disagreements should never turn physical. It's not okay for you and your boyfriend to become physically aggressive with each other. If you're concerned about domestic violence, dial the National Domestic Hotline at 1(800) 799-7233.

Keira Burton

3. Questions To Ask Before Introducing Your Boyfriend To Your Parents

Introducing your boyfriend to your parents is a huge step that can be scary and exciting. I was terrified when my parents first met my fiancé because they couldn't stand my ex. But, the conversation between them flowed and everyone always looks for him to be at family events.

If you're ready for introductions to be made, O'Neill wants you to "encourage the normality of preplanned talks" by asking:

  • What is something about me that you think my parents would really love to hear about?

By doing this, he says it'll "help alleviate anxiety and ensure both spouses feel comfortable and attuned before meeting the parents."

Mikhail Nilov

4. Questions To Ask If You Or Your Boyfriend Have An Illness

It's never easy to experience illnesses or health scares, but it can be terrifying if you don't know how to help your partner manage if something unexpected happens. O'Neill says to "nurture insights with queries such as:"

  • What is one thing I could to assist you better when ill?
  • Are there any aspects concerning your healthy that haven't been discussed which make you anxious?

"The conversations provide a safe space for airing concerns while building up mutual support through health difficulties," he adds.

Mikhail Nilov

5. Questions To Ask If You're Worried About Boyfriend's Spending Habits

Financial red flags are always a cause for concern when dating someone — especially when it seems like your boyfriend doesn't care about his spending habits may affect your household if you live together. O'Neill suggests asking:

  • What are your financial goals?
  • How do you see us working towards them together?
  • How do you feel about budgeting as a team?

This will "make goal alignment stronger" because "effective communication about finances can prevent misunderstandings," he says. Also, this helps "lay the foundation for a shared vision of the future."

Bethany Ferr

6. Questions To Ask To Deepen Vulnerability With Each Other

Being vulnerable isn't easy for everyone, let alone two people in a relationship. It took me years to feel comfortable expressing my sadness or fears to my fiancé because I was afraid he'd think I was 'weak.' However, this can cause more harm than good because it becomes difficult for our partners to know what's going on with us if we don't open up.

O'Neill says you can ask:

  • What's one fear or concern you've hesitated to share with anyone before?
  • How can I help you feel safe sharing with me?
These questions "create room for openness and trust between partners" which aids in "helping them connect emotionally," according to him.

Katerina Holmes

7. Questions To Help Move The Relationship Forward

If you're still wondering "what are we doing" after asking some of the above questions, you focus on asking the following "future-oriented questions," according to O'Neill:

  • Where do you see us in 5 years?
  • What's something you envision us doing together as a couple in the future?
"Thinking about what is ahead strengthens commitment to the relationship and brings both partners' goals into line," he says.
Even though my fiancé and I have been together for a while, we still have conversations about our goals, health, raising our son, and more. It helps us to either stay aligned or see what needs to be addressed as opposed to letting physical attraction guide the way we feel 95% of the time.

But that's not all! We have more advice about relationships if you're looking to build a deeper connection yourself, friends, or family in 2025!

Sam Asghari just opened up about his relationship with Britney Spears on Kate and Oliver Hudson's podcast — which wouldn't be weird if he didn't have an alleged gag order not to speak about it during his time on The Traitors. Why is he able to talk about Britney now? And what did he say about her? We dug into it so you don't have to.

Here's what Sam Asghari said about Britney Spears post-divorce:

www.instagram.com

Sam Asghari and Britney Spears officially settled their divorce in May 2024, but Britney's story feels far from settled for fans (to say the least). Obviously this isn't Britney's only divorce, but it's one of her most controversial given how entrenched it was in the #FreeBritney movement and her conservatorship as a whole. As the movement picked up speed, some people looked at Sam differently, wondering what he knew (and when) about her conservatorship.

Well, now he's telling everyone the conservatorship was the "most difficult" part of their relationship on Oliver and Kate Hudson's "Sibling Revelry" podcast. He explained that he went from learning what a conservatorship even was to wondering, “Wait a minute. I thought I’m in America. What do you mean someone over the age of 18 needs permission from their parents?”

Sam explained that he did the "best thing" for Britney during that time — support her through the fight against her conservatorship. He noted that one of the "hardest things" about celebrity is how easily you can get taken advantage of. He said, "That damages you because those are the people that are closest to you."

He noted that "usually" you're more "vulnerable" to the people around you. Sam said, “They take an advantage because they think, you know, you owe something to them or something, which is so ridiculous."

So what do you think? Why would Sam be allowed to talk about his relationship with Britney now, but not on The Traitors? Let us know in the comments!

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By now, you may be able to recognize signs of gaslighting or other toxicbehaviors, but do you know how to take everything you've learned and become a super compatible couple? According to experts, there are a few key things super compatible couples rarely argue about — even with whatever faults each person brings to the relationship table. While the topics these couples avoid may not surprise you, the reason why they're able to avoid them might. But first, let's talk about what makes couples more compatible than others.

Dr. Brooke Keels, Ph.D., LPC-MHSP, LPC-Supervisor, Chief Clinical Officer at Lighthouse Recovery, has this to say: "Couples are compatible when they share similar values, goals, and know the best way to communicate with each other." Notice she didn't say these couples are just alike.

More so, she explains that "it's about how well they handle differences, whether they can support each other through tough times, and how they connect emotionally." Dr. Keels adds, "when there’s respect, trust, and a good balance of give-and-take between them?" Dr. Keels believes this gives couples a better chance "to be in sync."

Scroll down to see the topics you'll rarely hear compatible couples arguing about!

RDNE Stock project

1. Long-term goals like marriage aren't often a cause for concern.

Have you ever dated someone that made you wonder what you saw in them once you pay attention to certain red flags? You may have found yourself arguing with them about everything from religion to reproductive health, leaving you feeling dizzy afterwards. But Dr. Keels says compatible couples are more likely to be aligned on "whether they want the same things out of life."

Her examples include:

  • Relocating for careers
  • Family planning
  • Finding somewhere to settle down in general (i.e. apartment, condo, different state, close to family, etc.,)

"This common ground lessens the chance of fighting over these big topics," Dr. Keels reiterates.

Vlada Karpovich

2. There's a lesser chance arguments about weekend activities occur.

We're no strangers to indecisive moments where we couldn't agree about what to do on the weekends with our partners, but Dr. Keels says compatible couples don't always run into this issue. "When you enjoy similar activities or have overlapping hobbies, you're more like to find ways to unwind together, rather than feeling disconnected or frustrated by each other's choices," she adds.

While it varies from couple to couple, you and your partner may enjoy the following:

  • Buying tickets to watch the latest college basketball or football game
  • Going to a 'Paint and Sip' class for fun
  • Having a mini outdoor picnic
  • Visiting a national park if it's on your couple's bucket list
  • Spending a day at a local arcade

The possibilities are endless, but all that matters is that "this mutual understanding makes spending time together feel natural and fun," according to Dr. Keels.

Mikhail Nilov

3. Communication styles aren't causing a daily disruption.

Some people have a more direct way of communicating while others may be passive or even passive-aggressive. Less arguments aren't happening because compatible couples communicate the same however. "When they both understand each other's communication style — whether it's direct or more subtle — it helps avoid misunderstandings and frustration."

Here's a couple of examples:

  • If you're having a bad day that has nothing to do with your partner, they don't take it personal when you prefer some alone time.
  • If your partner says something they perceived to be a joke, but you didn't, you're less likely to immediately accuse them of being insensitive. Instead, there's a higher chance of asking what they mean by something and expressing why you didn't like it instead of arguing.

Compatible couples "know how to express their feelings and needs in a way that the other person can easily understand" which makes "it easier to resolve issues calmly," according to Dr. Keels.

Alex Green

Are couples better (or more compatible) because they don't have a lot of arguments?

Well, no. That's actually a stretch because everyone has arguments. "Even compatible couples can argue about everyday things like chores or schedules. No matter how well they get along or how "in sync" they are, little annoyances can still pop up here and there, and cause some tension between them," Dr. Keels shares. "The difference," she points out, "is that they're usually better at handling these moments and keeping them from turning into bigger problems."

The other thing she's seen couples argue about is money. "It's such a common stress point because everyone has different habits and priorities when it comes to spending or saving," she says. But, guess what? "Compatible couples tend to approach the conversation with more understanding and a willingness to find a compromise," she continues.

If you feel like you and your partner aren't on the same page, it may not be time to break up just yet. We've learned that that it can take time to effectively communicate with a romantic partner or understand them. Compatibility is great, but it's not an indicator that a relationship will be smooth sailing!

Keira Burton

How can I have healthier disagreements with my partner?

Like we said, getting to a point where you and your partner aren't consistently hurting each other's feelings during disagreements takes time as well as skill. No one's born knowing all the answers so don't think your relationship is over because you're still figuring things out.

Dr. Keels says one way you and your partner can work on the kind of disagreements you're having is by "knowing how to communicate/compromise." Look, we heard your sigh and know it's probably the antithesis of how you feel. We struggled with compromising, but you don't get far in life thinking that everyone else has to bend to your will all the time.

"Even if they don’t see eye to eye all the time, healthy couples listen to each other's perspectives, and look for solutions that work for both of them. It’s not about 'winning' the argument and getting to say who's right, but finding common ground so they can move forward together," adds Dr. Keels.

SHVETS production

Also, "staying respectful event when things get heated or when you're upset" is a way to have a productive arguments, according to Dr. Keels. What happens is that "healthy couples avoid yelling or saying hurting things during disagreements," she says. This means no cursing or raising voices to the point your next door neighbors feel they have to call the police to do a wellness check on you.

"Instead, they just focus on the real problem and stay calm, which helps them work through the issue without hurting each other and the relationship," Dr. Keels says. And in the event you and your partner can't find common ground in a given moment? She highly suggests you "take breaks or pause when things get too heated."

Couples who do this "know when to step away and cool off before continuing the conversation," she adds. There are times where it's difficult to have a proper conversation when you're anxious or angry, so it's always better to revisit the topic.

Dr. Keels agrees and says, "This gives them a chance to cool down first so they can properly think things through, and think of a solution that works for both of them without saying anything they might regret."

Visit more of our relationships articles to find more advice about navigating friendships and love.

Planning a bathroom renovation? You're in luck because you haven’t committed to any trends that are headed for a 2025 exit. Home design trends typically have a shelf life of about a decade, which aligns perfectly with the timeline for refreshing your space — especially if you're planning to upgrade for resale value. In 2025, staples like white subway tile, black-and-white farmhouse vibes, and ultra-modern frameless mirrors are making their grand exit, and good riddance. Taking their place are organic, earthy shapes and tones, bringing a warm, natural touch to modern bathroom design.

Scroll to see 12 outdated bathroom trends to ditch in 2025!

Terry Magallanes

1. Black & White Farmhouse

What to do instead: Over the past decade, this stark look dominated bathrooms, but it’s time to bring in some warmth and personality. The latest bathroom trends focus on natural materials like wood, stone, and linen, paired with earthy tones such as rich browns, deep greens, and soft rosy hues to create a cozy, inviting space. If you’re still drawn to the modern farmhouse aesthetic, give it a fresh update by incorporating vintage art and unfinished brass accents — subtle nods to the past with a modern, elevated twist.

Quark Studio

2. Frameless Mirrors

What to do instead: Framed mirrors add character and tie into your bathroom's aesthetic. Organic oval shapes, art deco-inspired curves, and frames made from materials like wood and brass, even blending the frame color into the wall's paint color, are becoming popular choices.

Vecislavas Popa

3. Carrara White Marble

What to do instead: This overdone material can look overly sterile, especially when it takes over a bathroom like this one. Instead, add earthy elements like artisanal zellige-style tiles from places like Zia Tile and Fireclay Tile, as well as unique marbles in jewel tones like red jasper.

Cottonbro Studio

4. Ornate Fixtures

What to do instead: An antique piece or two can add character and charm to a bathroom. This space feels overwhelmed by too many vintage elements and lacks sophistication. Instead, opt for clean-lined fixtures in matte black or brushed brass, pair them with natural stone countertops, and select a mirror and lighting with a more refined, architectural design.

Curtis Adams

5. Jacuzzi Tubs (And This Glass Block Window)

What to do instead: Freestanding tubs or spacious showers with a steam feature offer a more elegant and modern alternative to bulky jacuzzi tubs, which not only hog space but are also notoriously difficult to clean. The glass block window dates the bathroom's design even more. For a fresher, more open feel, enjoy the view and bring in natural light with a clear glass window if privacy isn’t a concern.

William LeMond

6. Tile Explosion

What to do instead: Give your bathroom a breather with some bare walls for a modern look. Combine tiles you love with painted walls, wood paneling, or textured finishes, and use them strategically, like in the shower or as a backsplash.

Sanibell BV

7. Vessel Sinks

What to do instead: Vessel sinks are leaving the trend sphere in 2025. (I'm also not a fan of pedestal sinks). Instead, opt for integrated sinks in stone or concrete for a seamless look, or choose under-mount sinks with a quartz or earth-toned marble countertop.

Phil Hearing

8. Generic Overhead Lighting

What to do instead: The classic "boob lights" and generic ceiling mounts often seen in rentals are overstaying their welcome. Instead, elevate your space with softer, layered lighting or modern sconces that provide a warm, flattering glow.

99.films

9. Traditional Bath Mats

What to do instead: Washable rugs made from natural wool or cotton are emerging as decor statement in bathrooms, offering unique colors and eye-catching prints. If you're partial to a traditional bathmat, consider keeping it tucked away until you need it, rather than displaying it, to keep your bath from feeling outdated.

Jon Stebbe

10. White Subway Tile

What to do instead: White subway tile in traditional brick or herringbone patterns are on their way out. They're overdone and a bit sterile. Shades like sage green, dusty pink, warm clay, or earthy tones can make the space feel more welcoming.

Point3D Commercial Imaging Ltd.

11. Faux Wood Tile

What to do instead: Anything pretending to be what it's not is out for 2025. Faux wood tile or vinyl can make your home look cheap and outdated. Instead, choose natural stones, porcelain, and cement tiles, or go for an actual wood flooring that is protected for moisture.

Jean van der Meulen

12. Overly Themed

What to do instead: Avoid being too gimmicky in your bathroom decor with a theme like beach, western, or industrial. Draw inspiration from nature, use organic materials like natural stone, and incorporate greenery with potted plants. Here's inspiration for a coastal home if you're into the beach vibes!

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Though known for its massive bulk buys, there are plenty of amazing bite-sized snacks between the aisles at Costco. One thing is for certain: you’ll always have choices to cull through at Costco, even if you’re doing your grocery shopping for a more specific diet or eating style, like vegetarian.

Whether you need a bite for on-the-go or are building your at-home snack stockpile, these vegetarian Costco finds make snacking so much more delightful – and easier on your wallet!

Scroll on for the tastiest vegetarian Costco finds that’ll save your cravings and your budget!

Costco

Unreal Dark Chocolate Coconut Minis

These delicious (but healthy!) chocolate candies taste just like Almond Joy. You can get this bag of 29 bars for just $13, and it's perfect for adding a touch of sweetness to you or your kiddo's lunchbox or even filling up your candy jar at home.

Costco

Kirkland Signature Soft & Chewy Granola Bars

A mere $13 gets you 64 of these soft and chewy granola bars. They're packed with a classic chocolate + oats combo, which truly no one can resist come snack time. The whole fam will be taken care of for weeks.

Costco

Kirkland Signature Extra Fancy Mixed Salted Nuts

These days, $15 for a whopping 2.5 pounds of nuts is a pretty great deal. Make your own trail mix with this medley or simply snack on it as-is.

Costco

Quaker Instant Oatmeal Variety Pack

Though oatmeal isn't the most traditional of snacks, these small packs still make a dependable source of nutrition since they're loaded with fiber and whole grains! Whether you eat 'em for breakfast or a midnight snack, you're still going to feel fulfilled. Just $12 at Costco gets you this wonderful 52-count box!

Costco

Kirkland Signature Peanut Butter Filled Pretzel Nuggets

Oof, peanut butter pretzels are so good. Spend $12 and get this massive 55-ounce jar for all your last-minute snacking needs, from school and work days to hikes and road trips.

Costco

Bobo's PB&Js Oat Sandwich Bars

These PB&J-flavored oat bars are truly addictive. Get 20 bars for $19 at Costco, and prepare to have your mind blown come snack time.

Costco

Kirkland Signature Organic Applesauce

Apple sauce – it's a classic. Just $13 gets you 24 packets to stuff into lunchboxes or throw straight into the fridge.

Costco

Garden Veggie Straws

These crunchy veggie straws will always hit the spot, and the best part is they offer the same saltiness and texture that regular ol' potato chips do – but are way healthier for you. This box only costs $17 for 42 snack-sized bags. Wow.

Costco

Kirkland Signature Milk Chocolate Almonds

When the chocolate cravings start, they can be very hard to stop. This 3-pound jar will help you fix that. It goes for a surprising $23 at Costco!

Costco

Nature's Garden Probiotic Strawberry Yoggies

This $14 Costco deal comes with 30 individually-wrapped servings of these delicious yogurt-covered fruit pieces. With probiotics, fiber, and no artificial ingredients, they'll cure your aching sweet tooth without bogging your body down.

Costco

Simply Protein Crispy Bar Variety Pack

Protein bars can get expensive real quick, but this box of 15 bars (hello, variety!) is just $21, making each bar roughly $1.40 each.

Costco

GoGo SqueeZ YogurtZ Variety Pack

These lil' packs include a blend of low-fat yogurt and real fruit to power your day with calcium and vitamin D. Spend just $11 for 20 packs!

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