Why Perfectionism Is Actually Bad for You

History and intuition often tell us that to be a perfectionist is to be perfect — or that perfectionists land their dream job, start their own businesses or reach #GirlBoss status more than people who aren’t as keen on being flawless. And while being a perfectionist might help you keep it all together at work, Laura Heck, a licensed marriage and family therapist, cautions against striving to be completely unflawed.

Where does perfectionism come from?

According to Heck, perfectionism can be internal, external or societal. Internal perfectionism simply comes from pressures you put on yourself. External pressures such as critical parents or friends can cause you to become a perfectionist in order to reach their standards. Society can also create perfectionism — where, as Heck puts it, “We try to reach the status quo and relieve the anxiety of not feeling good enough.”

On a societal level, pressures from our cultures or even location can cause us to become a perfectionist. For example, Asian cultures and cities on the American coasts generally put more pressure on people to look and act a certain way, Heck said. The first step to curbing your perfectionism is learning where it comes from.

What perfectionism ACTUALLY does to us

Although perfectionism is rooted in a plethora of places, it has similar effects on everyone. Many people contend that perfectionism drives us to be better versions of ourselves—but Heck feels that it can actually have the opposite result.

Rather than pushing you to be your best self, Heck says that perfectionism actually puts pressure on you by convincing you that you’re not good enough. The paradox of perfectionism is that it drives us to be perfect — a goal which, in and of itself, is inherently unattainable. Perfectionism sets us up for failure before we even begin trying. For this reason, perfectionists are much more at risk for eating disorders and anxiety.

How to curb your perfectionism

Rather than reaching for the moon knowing that you’ll miss, Heck recommends accepting yourself and your abilities. “You’re okay as you are in this very moment,” she said. “Accepting yourself as you are is a much healthier place to be.”

There are a couple of ways you can curb your perfectionism. Primarily, your goal should be to change the messages you send yourself: Rather than saying, “I’m not good enough,” work on being okay with where you’re at — whether you’re talking about appearances, your career or even friendship. Heck says that a great way to get started is to reach out to a therapist. She also recommends yoga, which teaches self-acceptance.

Have any tips on curbing perfectionism? Let us know @BritandCo!

(Photos via Getty)

I fear there’s no other feeling like shopping for your college dorm. When it was finally my time to enter the world of dreaded 8AM lectures and wacky cafeteria lunch breaks with friends, all I could think about was curating the cutest room possible. And while cuteness surely is an important factor, practicality is, too. There are certain items I truly couldn’t live without that made navigating the first semester of college (and the semesters beyond) so much easier.

These 11 back-to-school items undoubtedly shaped my experience in a positive way, and if you’re someone shopping for college essentials (for yourself or your recent grad), now’s the perfect time to snag ‘em since they’re part of Amazon’s early Prime Day deals. Scroll on to see why I love them and recommend they’re a staple in every college kid’s life!

Amazon

Amazon Echo Dot 5th Gen

$25, was $50

The Amazon Echo Dot does it all – it plays music, answers questions, sets alarms, and even pairs to different devices like lightbulbs, TVs, and phones to make daily routines easier. I definitely overused mine for playing my favorite songs at the time (oh, 2018 college era, how I miss you!), and the audio quality was just impeccable, even for such a small space like a dorm.

Amazon

ZeroWater 10-Cup Ready-Pour 5-Stage Water Filter Pitcher

$28, was $38

Knowing I was going to be staying in an older dorm (I'm talking built in the early 1900's), I was absolutely set on getting a filtered water pitcher to stay hydrated and healthy. The hydration component is especially important for any college-goer in a hot climate. This pitcher holds 10 cups worth of water, all while filtering out harmful minerals, metals, and more for an ultra-pure taste.

Amazon

Eudele Shower Caddy 5-Pack

$20, was $70, with option to use 20% off coupon

If you're lucky enough to have an in-suite dorm shower, these stainless steel bathroom organizers will save you the legwork of lugging a bulky toiletry tote back and forth. You won't have to make any holes to set them up, since they rely on a strong adhesive material to hold to the shower wall (dorm-friendly AF). This set comes with 2 caddies, 2 soap holders, and 1 toothbrush holder that can surely handle all your fave products! Plus, that 71% off price tag is pretty sweet.

Amazon

Roku Express HD Streaming Device

$19, was $30

Missing the latest episode of your favorite TV shows is so not cool, even in between the college chaos. Stock up on this convenient streaming package from Roku to make sure you (and your new college pals) are entertained during every hangout! I really like the Roku set-up because it's easy to kickstart yourself, you can customize which platforms are included, and it's very affordable. It's even more affordable at the moment, now that it's on sale for 37% off!

Amazon

Keurig K-Express Coffee Maker

$72, was $90

No college morning is right without coffee. I'd fire this lil' baby up before every 8AM and even on late weeknight study sessions, and it truly saved me. I highly recommend the Keurig because of how easy it is to use – just pop in the compatible K-Cups, press a button, and voila: a hot, steaming cup of yummy coffee comes to the rescue. This model is also great because of its compact size, which you can slide between books on your desk or atop a dresser with minimal mess.

Amazon

JBL Tune Buds Wireless Noise Cancelling Earbuds

$60, was $100

You truly could not catch me on campus without a pair of earbuds, and though I had to settle for (gasp!) the wired Apple headphones during my degree-getting era, I wish I'd had these wireless JBL buds handy. These boast several different noise cancelling modes to suit any sort of situation, from the library to the student union. They also have a battery life that gives you a whole 48 hours of listening time, so you can be sure they won't die out during a hyper-focused study sesh or workout.

Amazon

Dash Tasti-Crisp Electric Air Fryer Oven

$35, was $50

Who needs cafeteria food when you have a whole air fryer, am I right? (Sorry, mom and dad – I still frequented the food hall despite my unhealthy attachment to this appliance.) So yes, the air fryer was my dorm room savior after long nights out with friends. I could heat up frozen fries or tots with ease, and I even found myself using it to conveniently heat up leftovers when I had them. This 2.6-quart-sized model is the perfect size for a small dorm room and shouldn't cause any problems in the way of housing rules, since it doesn't use an actual flame to function. Don't be surprised if your RA comes knocking on your door to snag some delicious air-fried snacks.

Amazon

Arslo Stainless Steel Insulated Water Bottle

$15, was $30

Like I said, hydration is key to conquering the day as a college kid. I wouldn't leave my dorm without a full, ice-cold bottle. I especially love any kind of insulated bottle like this, since the contents will stay that way for a long time. This one is shoppable in different sizes like 18, 24, 32, and 40 ounces to suit your personal needs. It comes complete with a set of straws and lids, so it supports however you like to sip!

Amazon

Philips Sonicare DiamondClean Smart 9500 Electric Toothbrush

$160, was $280

I'm not sure why, but I really got into my oral hygiene game in my college years. This electric toothbrush was (and continues to be) a game-changer for me! It has 5 brushing modes and 3 intensity levels to customize your brushing experience. I also adore that it comes with a compact carrying case, which came in handy when I wanted to leave my dorm for weekend visits back home. It's genuinely lasted me years, so I'd say it's a very apt investment.

Amazon

Ozzptuu Bedside Storage Caddy

$13, was $26, with option to use 5% off coupon

Depending on your specific dorm set-up, you may have to hoist your oh-so glamorous twin-sized bed up a bit to make room for other furniture and appliances. I certainly chose to do so, and a beside caddy like this made all the difference when I needed something like lip balm or earplugs in the middle of the night. This one is fitted with plenty of pockets for your phone, chargers, pens, pencils, books, and practically whatever you want to put in it. It hangs off the bed railing with two study hooks!

Amazon

Levoit Cordless Vacuum Cleaner

$133, was $200

Like it or not, you've gotta keep your dorm room clean. This cordless vacuum kept things so nice and tidy for me all throughout my college years (even when I moved from the dorms to an apartment), and I couldn't recommend it more. In addition to the traditional roller attachment, there's a few more brushes that you can use to tackle hairy spots and dusty corners, plus it's impressively flexible so you can reach every other nook and cranny. It's fairly compact, too, so it'll fit nicely within your closet for safe-keeping.

Shop our Amazon storefront to follow more of the best Prime Day deals for beauty, fashion, home, and more!

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

Target Circle Week is back and it's bringing tons of great book deals with it! There's book club favorites, spicy romance reads, and more! Let's skip the chitchatting to see what kind of deals you can snag on all our favorite books — including our top picks! Plus, you can score a presale that I just know you'll be excited about. Keep reading for all the hottest Target Circle Week book deals!

When is Target Circle Week?

Target

Target Circle Week started July 7, and it ends on Saturday, July 13. If you buy 2 books, you can get a free one during the Target Circle week sale. That gives you three days to stock up on plenty of new reads!

Target

A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas

Feyre's life changes forever after she kills a lone wolf in the woods as a way to help her family survive. This lands her in hot water with the terrifying Fae she's always heard stories about, particularly Tamlin. As she adjusts to her new life in the Spring Court, she encounters other Fae, mystical beings, and terrible creatures who all live by their own set of rules.

Her very life hangs in limbo as she gets closer to Tamlin and realizes the fight for their love may claim her last breath.

Target

Summer Romance by Annabel Monaghan

Ali Morris penchant for organizing other people's lives falls short when it comes to her own. To be fair, her mom's death still weighs heavy on her heart which makes her feel like she has just enough energy to skate by in life.

Still, she can see how things have gotten off track so she decides to try making small changes. Some kind of way life decides to reward her efforts by introducing her to a man named Ethan. A man who's intrigued by her.

Though Ali feels the cards are stacked against her, she opens herself up to a quick summer fling. But, some flings have deeper roots than others and she'll have to make another choice that could alter her life again.

Target

Funny Story by Emily Henry

Daphne's life is in a pickle because her so-called loving fiancé Peter suddenly realizes he's been in love with his best friend Petra the entire time. I mean, she uprooted her life for this guy and he decides to say, "Sorry, but my heart belongs to another." Bummer.

So, Daphne spends her days working at the local library in Waning Bay, Michigan and ends up becoming the roommate of Petra's ex, Miles Novak. They rarely talk and that works for them...until they realize they're sitting on a goldmine of a faux romantic opportunity.

Since their exes are so in love with each other, why can't they play the part of a happy couple who's having the best summer of their lives? They're only pretending...right? Grab Funny Story before it turns into a movie!

Target

It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover

Lily's never expected life to be a bowl of cherries, but she still finds herself being content with how things are going. She's an entrepreneur who gets to live life on her terms and that's great.

But, she doesn't expect to fall for attractive neurosurgeon Ryle Kincaid. The energy is electric between them, something neither of deny. The only issue is that Ryle seems to be 100% against being in a committed relationship. He's okay with them dating, but that's as far as he's willing to go.

Though Lily is perplexed about this, she decides they have something that's still worth pursuing. Another one you definitely wanna read before the movie comes out this year!

Target

Just For the Summer by Abby Jimenez

No one's dating history should be dissected on social media unless they're a celebrity, but Justin finds himself the unlucky subject of a Reddit thread. For some reason, everyone he dates ends up finding their romantic twin flame while he's left to pick up the end of their relationship. Then he meets Emma.

Emma's on her way to fulfill a portion of her job as a traveling nurse in Minnesota, but she realizes 'dating' Justin may be the best way to change her own unlucky romantic life.

They decide to spend some time at a cottage on Lake Minnetonka to have a quick summer romance, but things get sticky when their individual family issues mix with their plans. Soon they realize that maybe their unlucky romantic lives were only because they may have been meant to find each other.

Target

The House Across the Lake by Riley Sager

Casey Fletcher is trying to turn her life around despite the fact her partner's no longer alive and she's plagued by one bad article after another. Choosing to take a break from the hustle and bustle of being an actress, she decides to find comfort in Vermont.

With nothing better to do with her time, she alternates between drinking and spying on her neighbors, Tom and Katherine. Eventually she and Katherine become close, but this comes with a price. Something is off about Tom and Katherine's marriage, something Casey can't put her finger on.

When Katherine disappears, Casey's instincts tell her that Tom had something to do with it. But, she'll discover that the rabbit hole goes even deeper.

Target

Long Shot by Kennedy Ryan

Fans of Kennedy Ryan will love reading the Hoops series — they're filled with her signature charismatic writing and spicy scenes we know and love.

Long Shot follows the tale of Iris DuPree and August West's intertwined fate. Though they initially meet during their college days, they're unable to move forward with their attraction because Iris is already involved with someone who happens to be August's rival.

This doesn't stop them from thinking about each other long after their lives take different paths, but it's clear that Iris is trapped in her relationship. A chance meeting with August feels like a bright spot, but it'll take a long time before Iris is completely ready to trust that he's different from what she's become used to.

It'll take a miracle for her to truly escape the glass house she's in so she can build something entirely different with August.

Honorable Mention

Target

Onyx Storm by Rebecca Yarros

Rebecca Yarros hasn't revealed the plot for Onyx Storm yet, but that doesn't mean you can't pre-order the third book in the Empryean series! Based on the brief synopsis on Target's site, we can expect that our favorite characters will be in the flights and fights of their lives.

Here's some cute bookshelves if you need extra space for your new Target Circle Week finds!

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

Lead images via Target

Have you ever read a book that changed your life? Whether it helps you empathize with other people better or it simply gets you to read a genre you never thought you would, new books hold so much power. That was my experience reading Emily Henry's People We Meet On Vacation the first time. I had never loved rom-coms before I was introduced to Emily Henry, and suddenly my world became so much more fun and romantic than it was before. And on July 9, the author announced her newest book Funny Story would be getting the movie treatment!

Is there a Funny Story movie?

Amazon

Yes, we're getting a movie inspired by Emily Henry's Funny Story! The story follows children's librarian Daphne, who is stuck in her ex's hometown when he breaks off their engagement to get together with his childhood best friend Petra. With nowhere left to turn, Daphne moves in with Petra's ex Miles. Their friendship starts on shaky ground, but it doesn't take long for Daphne and Miles to come up with a plan to get back at their exes — if they don't fall for each other first.

Who's in the Funny Story cast?

Dia Dipasupil/Amy Sussman/Getty Images

We don't have an official cast for the Funny Story movie yet, but (like most of the internet) I'm hoping we see Dylan O'Brien as Miles! He has the earnest, free spirit that make Miles so special. And for Daphne? My pick is Lily Collins.

Who's writing the script for Funny Story?

Emily Henry/Instagram

Emily Henry is writing the script for the Funny Story movie! She knows the material better than anyone so this script is going to capture the magic of the book perfectly.

Who else is involved?

Donald Tong/Pexels

While Funny Story doesn't have a director yet, we do know that Lyrical Media’s Alexander Black & Natalie Sellers and Ryder Picture Company's Aaron Ryder & Andrew Swett will produce.

When did Funny Story by Emily Henry come out?

Emily Henry/Instagram

Funny Story was released on April 23, 2024.

Let us know who you want to see in the Funny Story movie, and check out The Latest News On Emily Henry's Beach Read Movie!

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

Lead image via Dia Dipasupil/Getty Images