20 Beanies, Berets, and Winter Hats

1. Get outside for at least 20 minutes everyday.

My seasonal depression is definitely perpetuated by my work setup – I work remotely full-time, which means a big chunk of my days are spent inside in isolation.

Knowing that being in nature can soothe the tension caused by not only locking in on work tasks for hours at a time, but sitting in the same place for just as long, I’ve been prioritizing getting outside for at least 20 minutes a day. Even just sipping in a breath of fresh air can provide a nice restart to a not-so-great day.

Whether it’s going for a walk, coffee run, or to let your dog out, getting outside for a change of scenery can absolutely improve your mental health.

2. Engage in exercise that feels good.

I’m lucky to have found a combination of workouts that feel good to my body and mind. Climbing, hot yoga, and outdoor walks have truly kept me sane this far in the season!

Exercising (of any kind) releases dopamine and serotonin, which arecommonly linked to treating depression. It can also improve neuroplasticity, learning, and memory in the long-term, which, to me, sounds like a win-win for everyone.

The key for committing to an exercise routine in the depths of seasonal depression (and beyond) is only engaging in workouts that bring you joy – exercise should not serve as punishment, nor does it have to be painful.

3. Delete social media when I know it’s impacting my mental health.

This one is huge. I could talk for hours – heck, even days – about how hurtful social media can be for my mental health. To make a long story short, social media (Instagram in particular) degrades my attention span, sense of reality, and self-confidence.

There was a period of time where I had screen time limits on apps like Instagram and TikTok, but I would override them 99% of the time. Now, I'm making an actual conscious effort to delete the apps off my phone entirely when I feel the doomscrolling has gone too far. It’s helped so much: I don’t feel a constant sense of FOMO (which is a massive challenge when 69% of adults use social media), pressure to buy unnecessary things, or distracted from the present moment.

Of course, I’ll still download the apps every once in a while to check in – there’s a delicate balance between wanting to feel simultaneously connected and disconnected – but the biggest part of this is maintaining the boundaries I set for myself.

If you feel like deleting social media apps cold-turkey isn’t quite the step you need to take at the moment, I suggest making use of screen time limits and sticking to them, so you can live and be present in your (real) life!

4. Prioritize seeing my friends in person.

As I mentioned, working from home is quite isolating. I know many of my friends feel isolated this time of year, even if they work in-person jobs. I don't have any family members that live very close to me, so my besties have truly become my chosen family.

Speaking from experience, having a friend group (or even just a golden best friend) to turn to in those quiet moments after the workday is the ultimate cure for loneliness, boredom, and depression. In fact,studies like this onehave shown that a positive sense of community is associated with reduced reported symptoms of depression, anxiety, and stress.

So, gather your pals for a movie, craft night, potluck, or even just time to rot on the couch together. A lot of times, your friends may be feeling the exact same way you are.

5. Cook nourishing and rewarding meals.

Winter time is comfort👏 food👏 central👏, so there’s no excuse to not whip up a delectable soup or casserole fit for the season. Seasonal depression most certainly takes a toll on my executive function, though, so finding (or rather, making) the time and motivation to cook something for myself can be rough. Don’t even get me started on going to the grocery store.

That’s why I like to turn to recipes that yield big ol’ batches of food, so I can eat on leftovers for a week or so rather than cook something new every single day. Bonus points if the dish is healthy! Maybe the meal preppers are onto something…

You can find tons of delicious, easy, healthy, meal prep-friendly recipes here!

6. Be cognizant of my water intake.

As important as eating healthy is, it doesn’t mean much if you’re not hydrated. Drinking adequate amounts of water every day simply sets me right – I notice I have so much more energy than the days my water bottle’s not tied to my hip.

Experts recommend that women drink roughly 11 cups of water daily in order to benefit the body, from your immune system to your mood. I’ve been making the ritual even more enjoyable with a fun water bottle, customized with stickers and all.

7. Journal regularly.

Journaling can reduce symptoms of depression, anxiety, and hostility, as well as encourage self-awareness and resilience against the daily grind, which is why I aim to commit a tiny slice of my day to writing (or drawing). Even if there’s nothing “bad” or dramatic going on in my life, journaling about the mundane is super helpful in simply getting to know myself.

To incorporate journaling into your routine, I suggest writing right before bed, right before you wake up, or on a quick break during the day. Even just 5 minutes alone with your thoughts and your pen can transform your mindset.

You can find some really helpful journal prompts for improving your mental health here!

8. Go to therapy regularly.

Seeing a therapist on a regular basis has been a huge game-changer for me. When I started to go several years ago, I denounced therapy as a whole, but I started to really love it after a few months worth of sessions.

A good therapist can help you manage depression, stress, anxiety, and other mental health struggles, plus provide effective methods for self regulation, self awareness, communication, problem solving, and a whole lot more.

I’ve found my favorite part about therapy is having a third party to talk to about certain situations in my life – it’s been super beneficial when I want to talk through things I can’t (or don't necessarily want to) tell my close friends or family. Seeing a therapist regularly also helps me keep myself in check in terms of life, mental health, physical health, work, creative goals, and more.

If you’ve never had a persimmon, get yourself to the farmers’ market and buy some this weekend. Kind of like an apple, they’re sweet and crisp and pair perfectly with creamy burrata (but let’s be real… what doesn’t pair perfectly with burrata?).

Warm Quinoa, Kale and Squash Salad With Orange Balsamic Vinaigrette

This salad features delicata squash, which is about to become your new favorite veggie. And you don’t need to peel it, which makes this salad a super convenient dinner tonight.

If kale salad isn’t your jam, this recipe will change your mind. You can sub out the herbs for whatever you may have left over in your fridge to make this totally customizable.

This salad will make up for every disappointing salad you have ever ordered or eaten. Pears are roasted with bourbon and brown sugar and then tossed with leafy greens, blue cheese and sweet, crunchy candied walnuts for a perfect holiday salad.

Candied Hazelnut, Kale, Apple and Bacon Salad

This salad is next-level with its mix of textures and flavors. On Sunday, mix the kale and apple with the dressing and you’ll have lunch ready for the entire week.

This salad makes a beautiful accompaniment to heavier dishes. The pomegranate dressing is fresh and tangy and pairs perfectly with creamy gorgonzola and sweet acorn squash.

You only need six ingredients for this winter salad. It's easy enough to double or triple for a get-together and healthy enough to get all your veggies for the day.

Who said salads have to be greens-based? Take advantage of the bounty of winter squash at the market this time of year and make this drool-worthy salad for dinner this week.

This salad packs a nutritional punch that can't be beat. It's delicious too!

Roasted Mushroom and Romaine Salad

Super-simple ingredients make this comfort salad a go-to for busy weeknights. The mushrooms are tossed with olive oil, rosemary and garlic and then roasted for an earthy bite. Get your vitamin B fix and a powerful antioxidant called selenium, which helps to support the immune system. (via Cookin' Canuck)

You *need* to make this potato salad right now. You’ll give the summer barbecue favorite an even yummier upgrade with sweet potatoes, feta cheese and pomegranates.

The best part about kale salads is they get better the longer they sit in dressing. If you’re hosting a dinner party, this salad is the great starter for that very reason.

Brussels sprouts may have gotten a bad rap in the past, but they are the *it* veggie this winter. The goat cheese is rolled in bread crumbs and baked to make this salad feel extra special while still being ultra healthy.

Winter reminds us of the hunting and gathering period that often occurs right before this time so our minds immediately thought of this superfoods salad. It has sunflower seeds, walnuts, edamame, kale, blueberries, grapes, olive oil and more in it, making it the perfect replenishing meal.

Satisfy your taste bud's desire for something that fulls robust and earthy this fall. This is one of those yummy winter salad recipes that's going to give you a bit of caramelized and spicy flavor so you'll almost feel like you're not eating something that's on the healthier side.

1. We thought our first love was perfect and would argue with anyone who wanted us to take things slow with them.

I'll never forget the first time I fell in love at 19. I thought my ex was the "wind beneath my wings" because he had a great sense of humor and was creative like me. I told myself he was the person I was going to marry so I was offended when my parents didn't think he was mature enough to be in a serious relationship. If this sounds familiar, pull up a chair because Menon explains why we tend to idealize our first love.

"Your first love is your first experience with romantic love too, hence you typically see it with rose-colored glasses. The overwhelming emotion is often infatuation, which tends to overshadow the more critical and analytical part of our brain," she says. Sadly, this sounds like something my parents told me before but I couldn't fathom how true it was as a teen.

As the Clinical Director at Southern California Sunrise Recovery Center, Cavins has seen this play out before too. He says, "In your first relationship, there is a tendency to put your partner on a pedestal. The excitement of new love can create a powerful emotional fog that makes it hard to see flaws clearly."

Essentially, this "excitement of having a boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner supersedes" our ability to questions things we normally wouldn't put up with, according to Menon.

2. We tried to ignore the how many times our first loves disagreed with our values or goals.

While some couples are able to make their relationship work despite having a different outlook on life, sometimes it can be a sign that things aren't going to work long-term. Cavins says, "One major red flag is disregarding differences in values or goals for the future. For instance, you wish to become a parent someday while your spouse swears this will never happen— or vice versa. Early on, you might dismiss these differences, believing love will conquer all. However, these mismatched priorities can lead to resentment and challenges over time."

Honestly, I probably should've ran whenever my ex would mock my belief in God only for us to have to attend his mother and stepfather's church whenever I visited. There was so much confusion there, but I tried to dismiss it as something he needed time to work out.

Menon adds, "If this relationship makes you feel like you'e standing in quick sand - where you are trying to move forward but often feel held back in your individual aspirations, it may not be the right fit for you."

3. We thought it was 'cute' when our first loves made suggestions about which friends to avoid or what clothes to wear.

Cavins says, "Excessively possessive behaviors are another red flag that people often ignore easily when they fall in love for the first time. People tend to justify such behaviors by citing that it's due to love or protective instincts." I'm all for being in a relationship where your partner's able to see different sides of a picture, but controlling behavior shouldn't come with that. What might that look like?

Cavins says, "Your partner may frequently check in on you, offer opinions on who you should spend time with, or subtly pressure you into making choices that suit them." For example, your partner could start off making suggestions about your style that slowly morph into them controlling everything you wear. Somehow I went from being a self-professed 'girly-girl' to trying to emulate the style of 'sneakerheads' in a short amount of time. Though I love wearing everything from New Balance to Niké sneakers now, it's in a way that feels cohesive with my style.

You may have brushed this kind of behavior off because, again, you thought it meant your first love wanted the best for you. "It is understandable that such behavior hypothetically may come off as pleasant or affirming; however, they often signal an unhealthy dynamic of control rather than mutual respect," says

4. We always gave in when our first loves forced us to be affectionate.

*Sigh* I'm shaking my head for my younger self because there were many times I didn't advocate for myself in my first romantic relationship. I'd often give in to affectionate or intimate moments despite wanting personal space so I wouldn't be seen as 'boring' or uninterested in my ex. Menon says, "Given the infatuation, your first relationship can feel all-consuming and often is codependent. Hence, this may result in you overlooking that your partner does not respect your boundaries or desire for personal space."

Partly because the excitement of the relationship makes you want to spend all of your time together, until you don't. And then, it is often too late to correct a maladaptive historical pattern.

4. We always made excuses for why our partners would shower us with affection only to ignore us days later.

Let's be clear, 'love bombing' feels confusing and awful. No one should make you feel like you're the center of their universe only to ignore your calls or texts days later. But, this probably happened while you were with your first love. Cavins says, "There's a tendency for people to brush off their first love's emotional unavailability. When, for example, a partner is not responsive and not engaging in intimate discussions or does not express their feelings, some may rationalize this as them being 'just not ready.'" If that were the case, this person wouldn't have made you feel like being with you is something they truly wanted.

Of that, Cavins believes "it's important to recognize these behaviors early" because "they can result in a one-side emotional investment that leaves one party feeling unfulfilled in the long run." Sadly, my first love would have days where he was super sweet to me only to feel like I was smothering him with attention. This is also the same person who begged me to remain in our romantic relationship when he went to basic training although I felt it would be better if we chose to be friends. Imagine my surprise (and hurt) when he told me we should have an open relationship months after getting stationed for the first time.

I should've known better because he was never 100% on board with the idea of marriage until after he graduated from basic training. Cavins calls this "emotional disconnectedness." His further explanation is this is "when the initial chemistry between the partners subsides that emotional attachment matters." To avoid this, he feels "identifying and addressing any of these is critical in a case where you are looking to create a strong and healthy bond."

5. We ignored the ways our former partner blamed us whenever they got in trouble with their parents or an authority figure.

Did your first love have a hard time taking responsibility for things that went wrong by gaslighting you to absorb the blow of their mistakes? If you've furiously nodding, we should start a support group. Cavins says, "A key sign is a lack of personal or relational growth. Healthy relationships encourage mutual development, but if one partner stays stuck in old patterns while the other grows, it can create frustration and distance."

At no point should you be the reason why your first love got in trouble after answering their parents' house phone late at night after telling you to call at a certain time. It's situations like this that should've alerted us to awful behavior, but I can see how easy it is to dismiss things.

What if I'm in love for the first time and recognize these signs?

First, my heart goes out to you for being in a relationship that doesn't feel healthy. It hurts when we realize the person we thought was so great is anything but. The road to letting go of idealization may be long, but you can and will get better. Cavins says, "In the process of self-healing and recovery, the first step that must be taken is self-reflection. Ask yourself all of the necessary questions that arise, such as what this relationship means for you, what your boundaries are, and what this partnership has revealed about you as an individual."

I keep saying this, but relying on journal prompts can help you unpack a lot of things and, thankfully, Cavins agrees. He says, "You could always opt to talk to a specialist or being journaling in order to find some closure and draw meaning from the experience." Also, he wants you to start "making new memories." But, don't be passive about it.

"You will have to engage yourself in activities that will help redirect the focus of your thoughts. This could include joining a new class, engaging in a hobby, or traveling that involves some independence. These experiences can help shift your mindset from loss to growth and reinforce your identity outside of the relationship," says Cavins.

Another important thing you can do is "solicit help from others," according to him. "Calling on people you trust, like friends and family, to talk about these feelings can significantly help in healing," he says. This also helped me navigate life outside of my first real romantic relationship, reminding me that I still had a lot of love in my life that didn't begin or end with my ex.

Here are Menon's tips:

• Let yourself grieve — Let this loss run its course. If you need to feel angry, sad, distraught, nostalgic. Allow yourself the full breadth of this experience. If I ask you right now "don't think a out a yellow monkey", I can bet you just thought of a yellow monkey. We call this "the imp of the mind". When you reject feelings, or thoughts, they come back 10 times more fiercely. To move the feeling along, we must let ourselves experience it.
• Rediscover your identity (So important) — Your first love is often intertwined with self-discovery, and identity formation. Reconsider your goals, interests, values, friendships and hobbies and try to build your own sense of identity and individuality.

I saw my first love again and it feels like we're falling in love all over. Can we have a happy and healthy relationship?

I'm not going to tell you to run even though I told my ex I never wanted to speak or talk to him again. You could easily reconnect with the first person you fell in love with and realize that you're both in a place where you can have something beautiful. However, Cavins and Menon want you to be mindful if you're in this position.

"Reconnection is possible," begins Menon, "if both parties can objectively claim that they have grown emotionally and resolved the issues that held their relationship back." But, "if the reconnection is built on one person growing and the other not, it is likely to fail," she alerts. You'll need to "proceed with caution," she says because "your first love was a nostalgic era in your life that can cloud your judgement." To put it more clearly, she doesn't want you confuse "the fuzzies" with a "true knowing that the two of you can make it work."

Cavins says, "Reconnecting with a first love can trigger a strong wave of emotions, but it is important that such a decision is made with caution and a strong sense of pragmatism. Personal growth is a primary factor. Each party in the relationship must ask themselves how they have grown and evolved as individuals over time. If past patterns of conflict, immaturity, or unhealthy dynamics remain unaddressed, the same issues could resurface."

He wants you to consider these things:

• Are there any active relationships or past engagements that would make it rather difficult? That's because the feelings that come with reigniting old flames are very strong and can alter a person’s life, making it essential to start thinking from all angles before going ahead with it.
• Address previous challenges that caused the breakup in the first place. If the reasons behind the breakup have been resolved or do not exist anymore, then yes, meeting again has its prospects. However, keep in mind that, at times, memories can be selective and unfavorably distort the truth by overplaying the good qualities while avoiding the negative ones.
• Only rekindle things if both individuals are in a healthy emotional state and the decision is grounded in practical, mutual considerations—not just sentimentality or romanticized memories. Clear and honest discussions and an understanding of purpose are vital in ascertaining if rekindling the relationship will be worthwhile for both parties or if it will simply be an act of revisiting unresolved emotions.