Here Is Why Love-Hate Relationships Are Good for You

Whether you’ve landed your dream job or you’re gritting your teeth every time you sit at your cubicle, workplace relationships can be complicated. Coworkers can act like your confidant one second and then tear you down when the boss comes around. The nice term for these people are frenemies. Researchers have actually looked into our workplace relationships and come up with some interesting psychology behind why we act the way we do at work.

Firstly, let’s define what might be going on with your coworkers. “Ambivalent relationship” is the technical term for love-hate relationship. You know, those relationships with people who you get along with but also harbor a few underlying negative feelings toward. Almost half of our important social network members are classified in these types of relationships. So obviously, it’s not just the workplace: Parents, in-laws and even significant others all can fall into the ambivalent relationship category. Why? It’s easy to stop calling a friend, but it’s much harder to avoid staying in touch with your mother or avoiding coworkers. In other words, when you’re stuck in a relationship, there is likely to be ambivalence present.

So what does this mean for you? You might expect positive relationships to have positive outcomes and negative relationships to have negative ones, and you’d be right. But ambivalent relationships are, as expected, a bit more complicated. Research has shown that love-hate relationships are associated with more stress and higher blood pressure (no surprise there). But researchers have also found that there are some benefits to these stressful relationships, such as more creative problem solving and better group decision making.

So could love-hate relationships be good for you and your work? The answer is yes. Even if there is more stress surrounding relationships with frenemies, you’re also more likely to try harder to make the relationship work. Here are a few tips from the relationship experts at Harvard Business to take these bonds in the right direction:

Focus on the positive: No matter how frustrating the relationship is, you still want to keep it friendly and not have an enemy. Maybe share a funny personal anecdote that happened over the weekend to build up a sense of trust and maintain the emotional benefits from having a friend at work.

Try to work together on an important project: Friendly competition can make you and your frenemy a power couple when it comes to motivation and creative thinking. Plus, the extra time together might help you reach a more friendly level of connection.

Turn your enemies into frenemies: When it comes to that one person at work you cannot stand, try your best to make things better. You don’t need a toxic relationship at work that is constantly affecting your own personal success.

There are good things about ambivalent relationships, but you shouldn’t want all of your relationships to be love-hate. Make positive relationships a priority: Send your mom (and mother-in-law!) a pretty DIY gift or take the time to tell someone you take for granted how much they mean to you.

How do you handle love-hate relationships at work? Share your stories and advice with us in the comments below!

Ever dream of globetrotting the world while getting paid? That's not a rhetorical question. Now you can turn your wanderlust into real cash with Ramada by Wyndham. The global hotel brand is on the hunt for its next "CEO," AKA Chief Eats Officer, a dream role for anyone who loves food and travel and well, a paycheck. One lucky adventurer will be paid $15,000 to travel to Ramada’s most coveted destinations, curate a list of must-eats, and share their travel highlights on social media. Learn how to enter below!

Decameron Club Caribbean Runaway Bay, Ramada Jamaica

From Thailand to Turkey and Seoul to Santa Barbara, the CEO trip will include up to seven global destinations in a three-week itinerary next spring. With hotels in 75 countries around the world, Ramada by Wyndham is perfect for travelers looking for that bucket-list experience!

Hunan, China, Ramada by Wyndham Chenzhou Dongjiang Lake

For a chance to be the next “CEO,” travel and food enthusiasts can visit Ramada.com/CEO by October 22 and submit a short, 1-3 minute video through TikTok (tag @RamadabyWyndham, #RamadaCEO) or email makemeceo@ramada.com that shows your passion for travel and discovering amazing eats.

Prize Details:

  • $15,000 reward, including a $10,000 travel stipend to cover airfare and travel expenses, plus $5,000 cash
  • Paid hotel accommodations for up to 21 nights at Ramada properties around the world
  • A Wyndham Rewards® Diamond membership for one year

Ramada Resort by Wyndham, Bodrum, Türkiye

How to Apply

To apply, post a public video on TikTok explaining why you are the best candidate for the job, tagging @RamadabyWyndham, using the hashtag #RamadaCEO, and following @RamadabyWyndham on TikTok.

Your TikTok account must be publicly viewable for the duration of the contest (through November 2024). Alternatively, you can email your video submission to makemeceo@ramada.com.

All video submissions must be between one and three minutes in length and should include your country of residence.

If applying via email, be sure to provide the handles for your active and public personal social media accounts.

All entries must be submitted and received by 11:59 p.m. ET on October 22, 2024.

Additional Qualifications Include:

  • Applicants must be a legal resident of the 50 United States or Canada (excluding Quebec).
  • Availability to travel for up to three weeks between April 1, 2025, and June 30, 2025.
  • Active and proficient on various social media platforms (TikTok and Instagram preferred).
  • At least 21 years old with a valid passport through December 2025.
  • Self-confessed travel lover and foodie.
  • Comfortable working remotely and on deadline.

Ramada by Wyndham will select the winning CEO on or around the week of November 14, 2024. No purchase is necessary to enter. For more details, including official rules, visit www.ramada.com/ceo. Good luck!

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You and your friends have likely spent countless hours together, decoding everything from imaginationships to the best comfort shows to watch when you're sad. You've probably even settled into a designated role within the group. Maybe you're the super adventurous one, always suggesting friend date ideas for the group to try, while someone else always knows how to comfort everyone when life gets rough. But, have you ever wondered if you're the most empathetic friend in the group? That's easy, just ask Brianna Paruolo, LCMCH. She's the founder and clinical director of On Par Therapyso she knows how to recognize signs you're an empath, plus how to take care of yourself!

TL;DR

  • Empathy is when "you feel what others are feeling."
  • There are physical, emotional, social, and mental signs that you're an empath.
  • You may be an empath if you get physically exhausted after being in crowds, feel anxious or overwhelmed in emotionally charged environments, feel responsible for other people's happiness, or you find it hard to distinguish your own feelings from someone else's.

Are there really assigned roles in friend groups or am I just imagining things?

Gary Barnes

Like I said before, it can seem like you and your friends unintentionally gravitate toward certain 'roles.' It's not like anyone woke up one day and decided, "I'm going to be the 'mother hen' of the group," but it tends to happen. Why?

Paruolo says, "In my clinical work, I've consistently observed that our friendship roles often mirror our early family dynamics. These patterns show up naturally — think about who in your friend group gets the first crisis call, who plans all the gatherings, or who everyone turns to for emotional support." I'm willing to bet you thought of a name for each scenario — including yours — because I know I did!

"Like in families, we each fall into specific roles that feel familiar to us," Paruolo further explains.

What actually makes someone an empathetic person?

cottonbro studio

There's so many definitions for empathy, but I thought it would be wise to ask a licensed professional for her opinion on the matter. "Empathy means to feel what others are feeling. You do not have to have a personal direct experience with something to feel empathy for another person," shares Paruolo.

For example, your friend could call to tell you she has to have fibroid removal surgery and is feeling scared. You may have never had surgery, but you could find yourself feeling the need to comfort her in spite of this. Paruolo says, "The cool thing about our brains is that we have mirror neurons, which means part of our brain is set up to feel what others feel. The ability to attune to others' emotional states comes naturally to some people, while others may need to develop this capacity more consciously."

Yaroslav Shuraev

To break it down even further, here's signs that Paruolo says point to your empathetic nature.

Physical Signs:

  • Getting physically exhausted after being in crowds
  • Feeling drained after social interactions, even enjoyable ones (OMG I feel so seen!)
  • Needing extra time alone to recharge

Emotional Signs:

  • Absorbing other people's emotions like a sponge
  • Feeling anxious or overwhelmed in emotionally charged environments
  • Finding it hard to watch violence or cruelty in movies/TV

Social Signs:

  • Feeling responsible for others' happiness
  • Having trouble saying "no" to people who need help

Mental Signs:

  • Picking up on subtle changes in others' moods
  • Being highly attuned to body language and tone
  • Finding it hard to distinguish your feelings from others' feelings

It sounds like I'm the empathetic friend, but are there any downsides to this?

Mikhail Nilov

I've been an empath for as long as I can remember and I've found that I have to 'recharge' my social batteries at times. I thought it was because I was trying to be superwoman by fixing others' problems, but it turns out theres more to it than that. Paruolo says, "Empathetic friends and people have an uncanny ability to sense others' emotional states even when unspoken, and frequently need recovery time after intense social interactions. They tend to be deeply affected by others' experiences and naturally consider situations from multiple perspectives."

In the long run, she says it can be "distressing" for some people to always feel the feelings of others. Over time, she says, "it can cause you to shut down and retract." This can look like not being as quick to respond to the funny memes your friends send you or not even answering their phone calls right away.

cottonbro studio

But, this doesn't mean you're the only person who tends to go through this. "Many empaths struggle with maintaining boundaries due to their deep emotional attunement," she says. Color me guilty because this sounds so much like me. It got so bad at one point that my sister nicknamed me 'Captain Save-A-Lot,' which is actually the clean version of what she truly meant. Still, empathy fatigue is no laughing matter nor does it mean you're defected. You just have the natural ability to show people their feelings are important to you.

How can I protect my peace as the empathetic friend?

Kaboompics.com

You know you need to set boundaries, but what does that mean? Paruolo says, "The key is understanding that empathy needs to be balanced with compassion - it's not just about feeling others' emotions but also knowing how to help without depleting yourself."

One of the things she loves to do is "encourage empaths to set clear boundaries around their emotional availability and make time for regular grounding exercises." As with gratitude journaling, try to focus on an activity that calls for you to be present. Focus on what you can hear, see, touch, taste, and smell.

"Self-care isn't just a luxury; it's essential maintenance for empaths. This might mean scheduling alone time, finding a supportive therapist, or joining communities where you can process your experiences," Paruolo implores.

I know how to be there for others, but how do I ask for emotional support when I need it?

Vitaly Gariev

You may feel like it's impossible to ask others for help since your shoulders are the ones people cry on, but you're only doing yourself a disservice by not speaking up. No one's super resilient or able to handle all of their distressing feelings alone. We're not meant to.

It's the reason Paruolo wants you to speak up about what you need. "The most effective approach I've seen is being direct about your needs rather than hoping others will figure them out," she says. I made this mistake during postpartum and found myself expecting my family & friends to know exactly how I felt, but they're not mind readers. The more I verbally asked for help with little or big tasks, the more my mental and emotional load lightened.

Paruolo wants you to look at "asking for support as strengthening your friendships through trust and vulnerability, instead of waiting until you're overwhelmed." By the time you reach that point, you'll be ready to enter rage or full-blown shut down mode and they're not fun.

Avoid unlocking their proverbial doors by scheduling "regular check-ins with trusted friends," suggests Paruolo. "This creates a sustainable support system and helps prevent emotional crisis points.

We have even more self-care stories for you to dive into if you need a mental and emotional boost!

In our Take 5 series, sponsored by Verizon, we ask women in business about unexpected challenges, their inspirations, recent wins, and how the free Verizon Small Business Digital Ready Program has helped propel their business forward. Here, we meet Rita Suzanne, a marketing strategist for health and wellness businesses who learned to network, connect with other entrepreneurs, and build her business online and IRL.

What's an unexpected business challenge that you've had to face and how did you overcome it?

The hardest thing for me was my sister passed away and I ended up taking custody of my nieces. I ended up being a single mom of four kids. This is the thing that transitioned my whole entire life. I stopped doing web design and started my podcast Mom Owned and Operated. I wanted to reconnect with other moms and figure out how they were able to run their businesses and raise a family and take care of themselves because I wasn't able to do all three at the same time. Through that journey, I realized that I really needed to connect with other people and how important it was for my business. It helped me to create that community that I was yearning for that I didn't realize that I needed.

What's a recent small win for your business?

For me, the win was just pivoting back to something that I actually wanted to do. Also, I’ve started to say no to things that I no longer want to do.

Who is a woman in business that you look up to and why?

I have always admired and looked up to Amy Porterfield [author of Two Weeks Notice]. I listened to her all the time when I was starting out. I think that she's amazing and I love her stuff. She just seems like a very genuine person.

Is there a resource that has made an impact on you as an entrepreneur?

I listen to a lot of audio books. One of my favorites that has been huge for me is You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero. I was told when I first started my business, by a friend who was a business coach, that I have a mindset problem. Ten years ago, I had no idea even what “mindset” was. Sincero’s book helped me to see what she meant by “mindset” and helped me adjust that mindset and fix some of the things that I didn't realize were broken.

How has the Verizon Small Business Digital Ready Program helped propel your business forward?

There are a lot of things that I have loved about it. There are local networking and training opportunities, and that has been great, and the online training is very valuable. It's a great resource. I find that marketing needs a three-tiered approach, meaning you need to network it locally, socially, and then also have a very comprehensive online approach to your marketing. One of the Verizon Small Business trainings that I took was all about taking advantage of your local resources. I found that to be extremely valuable because often people think they need to just focus on social media. I don't think that people focus enough on their local community.

Learn more about the free Verizon Small Business Digital Ready Program and Rita Suzanne.

Illustration by Daniela Jordan-Villaveces

Finding gifts for the person you're closest to can be the absolute hardest thing to do, especially when there are so many things that would make great gifts for him. If you're shopping for the main man in your life this season – whether you call him your dad, husband, fiancé, boyfriend, partner, or your preferred pet names – of course you want to find a gift that shows him just how much he means to you. Just remember that the key to the perfect gift is simply that it comes from you. These stunning gift ideas will help you say "this made me think of you."

Our 46 favorite gifts for men for 2024:

Amazon

RVCA Commonwealth Snapback

This flat-brimmed baseball cap replaces those older, worn-out styles you know your man has been hoarding. The green corduroy fabric on this gift-worthy hat will grace his head perfectly for every season!

Amazon

Every Man Jack Mens Amber + Sandalwood Body Set

This gift set is filled with an ideal assortment of gifts for him. From body wash, shampoo, deodorant, and face wash, your man will have everything he needs to feel fresh – plus, having a good-smelling guy around is the real gift for you that keeps on giving.

Target

VANKYO Leisure D30T Mini Wi-Fi Projector

Bring the cinema home to your movie buff with a sleek projector setup for your own private screenings and viewing parties!

Sunswell

Sunswell The R&R Pant

Made from recycled materials for rigorous wear, the Sunswell R&R pants are bound to be a staple in your man's year-round wardrobe.

Amazon

Cosori Pour Over Coffee Maker

This sturdy coffee maker will be a total hit for the caffeine-loving guy in your life. The layered stainless steel filter allows for a rich, creamy flavor in every sip, plus the decanter is holds a whole 34 ounces of brewed coffee to help him wake up!

Amazon

Stanley Stainless Steel Shot Glass and Flask Gift Set

This durable drinking set complete with a flask and shot glasses will be his new BFF for sharing on camping, fishing, or hunting trips. Top it all off with a brand-new bottle of whiskey to complete the gift for him.

Amazon

Thermajohn Thermal Shirt

Whether he's hitting the slopes or is braving the cold winter weather to run errands with you, this warm thermal base layer tee will swarm his upper half in comfort, flexibly moving with his each and every move.

Herschel

Herschel Little America Backpack Pro

For his outdoor adventures or social gatherings, outfit him with a cool backpack (literally, this one is insulated) that he can fill with his favorite snacks and beverages.

Ties

Ties The Scientist Sock Pack

Whether it's a stocking stuffer or a smaller gift, a playful set of socks is both practical and personal.

Tie Bar

Tie Bar Navy Travel Tie Storage Case

This tie storage case means business, just like your man does. If he travels for work often, he'll appreciate that you're looking out for his formal-wear.

Amazon

Marlowe. Coffee Bar Soap

This manly bar soap is infused with coffee beans and cocoa butter butter that help tackle even the worst bouts of sweat and body odor. It's definitely long-lasting, too, so he can smell lovely all night long.

Taylor Stitch

Taylor Stitch The Workhorse Jacket

This jacket will hug his bod in the most stylish way, all while keeping him comfy throughout the season's cold weather.

Williams Sonoma

Breville Precision Brewer 12-Cup Drip Coffee Maker with Glass Carafe

For the early risers and coffee-obsessed, a programmable coffee maker means he can wake up to the smell of coffee every day (and no longer has to use wasteful pods for an instant brew).

Mark & Graham

Mark & Graham Italian Leather Desk Set

Whether he's going to work, outfitting a permanent at-home office, or heading back to school, a personalized desk set like this luxe leather one will please the most studious types of guys.

Nordstrom

Ugg Beckett Fleece Robe

If your man loves a cozy night in just as much as you do, a soft robe to lounge around in will make the ultimate gift for him.

Mejuri

Mejuri Flat Curb Chain Necklace

Once you've reached long-term status with your guy, gift him a signature gold chain he can flex for years to come.

Pangaia

Pangaia 365 Heavyweight Hoodie

For the hoodie-obsessed, Pangaia's signature sustainable sweatshirts (and sweatsuits!) are best-in-class.

Etsy

Custom Soundwave Art Print

From a first dance song to the one you always blast together in the car, every guy has their favorite tune. Memorialize it for your music-loving man with this custom art print.

DUER

DUER Performance Relaxed Taper Denim Jeans

A good quality, fresh pair of denim is gonna set him (and his style) so right for the new year. These jeans feature a stretchy fabric that'll allow wear for practically any occasion.

Mark & Graham

Mark & Graham Leather Poker Set

Outfit his next game night with a poker set that's sure to impress and easy to bring on the go for weekend trips and group hangs.

New Balance

New Balance 9060 Sneaker

Secure your status as the greatest of all time by copping him that stylish pair of sneakers he's been eyeing.

Amazon

Polaroid Now 2nd Generation I-Type Instant Camera + Film Bundle

If your man is into photography and all things nostalgia, consider surprising him with a retro Polaroid camera set. We bet you'll be his favorite muse.

Manly Bands

Manly Bands The Forged Ring

This sleek wedding band stands up to tough, hands-on jobs with a carbon fiber construction, unlike traditional rings. The inner part is actually made from a Jack Daniel's whiskey barrel, making the perfect personalized touch for gifting the guy who loves a drink.

Uncommon Goods

New York Times Custom Football Book

This isn't just any coffee table book, but one that true sports buffs will actually want to devour – with clippings from his team's history, glory days, and highlights.

Still trying to figure out the perfect gifts for him? Subscribe to our email newsletter for more gift guides!

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others and earn commissions, but we always offer genuine editorial recommendations.

This post has been updated, with former reporting by Kaitlyn Ingram and Lauren Black.

You and your new-ish flame have been enjoying all of the best parts of fall. You’ve indulged in pumpkin carving, sipped apple cider in a corn maze, wore the perfect DIY couples costumes, and cozied up for an early peek at some of your favorite holiday movies. Things really couldn’t be going better. With just a few weeks left before Thanksgiving, though, you’re about to be faced with a big decision: Is it time to invite said S.O. to join you and the fam for Turkey Day festivities?

How serious is serious enough? Will an invitation like this freak bae out? And when do you really know that a partner is ready to handle all the family chaos that the holidays can shake up? Deciding whether or not to bring your partner home for a major end-of-year holiday can feel like a big deal, and we want to help you dial down the intensity so you can focus on what’s really important: food and quality time with your loved ones. We’ve consulted with relationship experts about how you know the time is right to bring a date to family Thanksgiving — read on for their six signposts.

Andrea Piacquadio

1. You’re Having In-Depth Conversations About Family Traditions And Dynamics

You and your sweetie have been seeing each other for a few months, and with the holiday season just around the corner, you’re starting to open up to each other about the parts of the festivities that are most meaningful to you. You’re swapping stories about favorite recipes and customs, and you’re comfortable enough to share the nitty-gritty details about icky family dramas that can make the season awkward. If these conversations are coming up naturally and you want to share your holiday with your S.O. IRL, licensed marriage and family therapist Katie Ziskind says it might be time to extend the invite.

Nicole Michalou

2. Your S.O. Has Already Met Some Of Your Family

Therapist Irene Schreiner recommends that you consider bringing your partner to Thanksgiving if they’ve already met some of your loved ones. “If they haven’t met anyone in your family yet,” on the other hand, “it can feel too overwhelming to have them meet everyone at once during the craziness of the holiday,” she says. Know your S.O.’s boundaries so you can push or protect them accordingly.

RDNE Stock project

3. Your Family Wants To Meet Your Significant Other

Mom’s been picking up hints from your phone conversations that something pretty amazing is going on between you and your new special someone, and she’s anxious to put a face to the name you keep mentioning. Your siblings are equally excited to interrogate — er, meet — your boo. It’s rare for your family to come together outside of the holiday season, so if you’re serious about your S.O. this might be the perfect time to invite them to make the rounds.

“If your family is constantly begging to meet [them], it is time to bring them home for Thanksgiving,” encourages Grapevine Gossip relationship expert Caitlyn Paltsios. “It shows your family is interested… and you can also see if your S.O. is excited to meet your family.”

cottonbro studio

4. You’ve Both Traded "I Love You's"

Maybe you said “I love you” first, or maybe bae made the initial move. Either way, you’re both swapping that all-important word pretty comfortably now; you might want to consider swapping it over a heaping bowl of mashed potatoes. “‘I love you’ is such a powerful statement for any relationship,” notes counselor and Tech Talk Therapy owner Connie Omari. “Once this line has been crossed, you naturally become more open with one another. This closeness should be solidified by allowing your S.O. to interact with the other people that you love.”

fauxels

5. Your S.O.'s Family Has Already Invited You To Gatherings

If you’ve already had a chance to attend family dinners and maybe a birthday party or two with your S.O., it’s your turn to extend an invitation (assuming, of course, that you share their serious feelings and there aren’t other concerns as to why it might be unsafe or unhealthy to reciprocate the invitation). “If they are including you in small family events, they are looking to integrate you into their larger lives and are likely ready to have you do the same,” Schreiner explains. This doesn’t mean that you should make the invitation purely out of obligation — only that you should seriously consider it when they’ve already made the first move.

Photo By: Kaboompics.com

6. You Can't Imagine Spending Thanksgiving Apart

“Thanksgiving has historically been known for being around people with whom we care very much about,” reminds Omari. “If your S.O. means a lot to you — maybe even the world — it’s likely you will feel very uncomfortable at the thought of being separated for Thanksgiving.” Tune in to your feelings and visualize experiencing this very special occasion as a couple. If this seems like the only way you would want to celebrate, then you have nothing to lose by asking! If, however, visualizing this makes you feel anxious or uncomfortable, psychotherapist and co-founder ofA Good First Date Rachel Perlstein suggests that it’s probably best to rain check until next year.

Do you get nervous about inviting a partner home for the holidays? Tweet us @BritandCo!

This post has been updated.