How To Help A Friend Struggling With An Eating Disorder

It's one thing to talk about ED's, but it's another to actually be able to recognize their symptoms. Rollin says to keep an eye out for three symptoms:

1. Intense fears of weight gain
2. Isolation during events where food is provided
3. Trips to the bathroom after eating

If you're noticing unhealthy patterns in behavior, she also says that it can be helpful to start a conversation — if you do it the right way.

"It’s important to bring up concerns around behavior and not to mention a person’s weight when confronting a loved one about a potential eating disorder," Rollin says. "It can be helpful to recognize that many people struggle with a belief about ‘not being sick enough,’ and some may not even be aware that they have a problem."

Rollin says that it's important to make sure your loved one knows that an ED isn't a choice. "It’s important to be compassionate, yet firm in this discussion and urge your loved one to get an evaluation from an eating disorder therapist — because you love and care about them and are worried. You can say, 'If it’s truly not a problem then the professional will tell you that, but I’m asking you to agree just to an evaluation because I’m worried about you.'”

If you're not ready to have this conversation yet, or if your loved one confirms an ED but isn't ready to seek professional help, Rollin also recommends daily ways that you can offer support. "[You can begin] eating meals with them, helping hold them accountable to their recovery goals (if they say this would be helpful), offering to sit in on part of a therapy session to discuss with them and their therapist how you can best support them," she says. "If you live together some helpful things could be blacking out calorie labels on food with sharpies or asking if they’d agree to let you hide the scale."

The emphasis here is that whether or not you provide this intimate help depends on your loved one. EDs are very personal, and it's important that you keep an eye on them and show them love without overstepping.

If they do let you into the intimate parts of their ED, there are specific steps you can encourage to help their recovery. One step is meeting with an eating disorder therapist and treatment team, which can help address behaviors around food and the underlying emotional issues.

"It’s crucial that eating disorder treatment is addressing both," Rollin says. "I also love dialectical behavioral therapy skills and skills from acceptance and commitment therapy to help individuals in eating disorder recovery."

Recovery can be built on healthy daily habits that have much more to do with food. Everything from the way that we talk about ourselves to the movies and commentary we consume influences the way we think about ourselves, our bodies, and our health.

"Educate yourself about anti-fat bias and diet culture," Rollin says. "[Work towards] noticing any urges to engage in compulsive behaviors about food and exercise and challenging them. And letting go of goals of intentional weight loss (as well as letting go of stepping on the scale) and working to uncover what might be underneath this desire and addressing any valid needs in other ways."

"Do your best to surround yourself with people and media that are recovery-positive," Rollin continues. "I know this isn’t always possible, but the more you can surround yourself with people who emulate where you want to be in terms of recovering, the better. In the same vein, working to reduce or set boundaries with people and media that are triggering to your eating disorder can be helpful in recovery."