How To Be More Confident In Social Settings
As an introvert who thrives on alone time, it's very easy for me to feel overwhelmed and out of place in large social settings. Usually I show up and have a great time for an hour, then all of a sudden I hit a wall and forget how to carry a conversation. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being an introvert, but sometimes it can be frustrating to feel like you're not enjoying yourself. That's why I talked to Roxie Nafousi, British self-development coach, motivational speaker, and best-selling author of MANIFEST: 7 Steps to Living Your Best Life, for her best tips on feeling confident in every social setting.
How To Build Self-Confidence
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1. Say positive affirmations before you go.
"I love using affirmations anytime I need to combat negative thoughts or feel more confident," Nafousi says via email. "Saying an affirmation like, 'I am confident' or 'I am enough exactly as I am”'can help you send positive messages to your brain which will actually help you to feel better!"
Come up with the affirmations that make you feel most empowered, write them on sticky notes, and put them around your bedroom. That way, you can read them while you get ready!
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2. Remember that nobody is thinking about you as much as you think they are.
It's easy to feel like you're the center of unwanted attention — and I always find those feelings are strongest when I'm feeling most vulnerable. But more often than not, everyone around you is thinking about themselves as much as you're thinking about yourself.
"Often our fear in social situations comes from the stories we tell ourselves: we assume other people are judging us or that they won’t like us," Nafousi says. "But the truth is, no one is ever really thinking about us that much. We have to switch the narratives in our minds and remember that our inner critic wants to tell us stories that make us feel bad, even though they are not factual or correct."
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3. Be authentic.
This one might come off kind of cheesy, but it's vital that you show up to parties, gatherings, and get togethers exactly as you are. Nafousi says it will increase your confidence because "it will not only mean that you are able to attract like-minded people to you, it will actually help you to feel more confident in yourself when we see that we are liked for who we really are, and not who we are pretending to be."
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4. Commit to your self-love and inner healing journey.
"The more we commit to self-love, and healing, the more free we feel to be ourselves, and the more we are able to value our own opinion of ourselves above the opinion of others," Nafousi says. Figure out what your 2023 goals for growth and healing are, and come up with a plan to work on them every week.
"To me, one of the greatest gifts of self-love is that it allows us to walk into any room feeling proud and confident enough to show up exactly as are. It is the best feeling!"
Do you have tried-and-true advice for how to be more confident in social settings? Let us know in the comments and check out our email newsletter for more expert advice!
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