How To Not Care What People Think About You

Accept That People Will Have Opinions With You

It's inevitable: People form opinions — good, bad, neutral — about each of us. Even if you were to never go outside, people would judge that. So, oddly, the first step to not caring what other people think is accepting that they do, in fact, think of you. View these opinions as a passing breeze that can change direction at any moment because, really, that's all they are.

Journal About What Disapproval Actually Means To You

Disapproval is not exactly fun, but more often than not, someone's disapproval changes your life in no meaningful way. If you really sit and think about what this negative judgment amounts to, the answer is often "not a whole lot." Realizing this and really integrating it in your day-to-day life can help diminish its power over you.

Ask Yourself: What Actually Matters To Me?

This can be a journal prompt or question you mull over in your spare time (or both), but the goal is to come up with a list of things that are important to you. These are values, practices, or even people that make you feel sane, content, and hopeful about the future. It may be quality time with your partner, effecting change at work, or a good dose of alone time each week. What it probably won't be is what strangers or acquaintances think of you, but if it is, write it down and carefully consider why. Nothing is off limits.

Identify What Makes You Feel Judged

While it's true that people will judge us no matter what, we are also our toughest critics, and it's easy to see judgement where none was intended. And, really, what matters the most is how you feel when you feel judged. Keep a list, look for common threads, and ask yourself what beliefs, fears, and insecurities are behind it. Just try not to judge your answers: Approach them with curiosity, instead.

Make A List Of Things You're Proud Of

Whether it's achieving a milestone at work, overcoming a personal issue, or just something you really like about yourself, jot it down on your list. In fact, make it on-going activity — a list in the Notes app on your phone that you're frequently updating. While it could help to read it over it every now and then, just the fact that you keep it will force your brain to focus on the positive every now and then.

Focus On What Makes You Feel Good

This could be a person, a place, an activity — anything that leaves you more energized and inspired than before. Prioritize each one and make time for them in your life. When there's more of what you like in your life, you're less likely to focus on what you don't. Or, at the very least, there's less time to.

Distance Yourself From Whatever Makes You Feel Bad

Now, we're not advising you to bypass all things difficult or uncomfortable. But there are many things in life that simply aren't worth the headache. One of the best examples is social media: If you consistently feel irritated, left out, or somehow less than when seeing a person's posts, unfollow or mute them. If comments stress you out, disable them. If posting overwhelms you, take a social media break to see how that feels.

Offline relationships can certainly be trickier, but if there are any that feel more net negative than net positive, consider what needs to change. It might me mean addressing a sidelined issue head-on, hanging out a little less for a period of time, or — in the worst cases — ending the friendship or relationship.

Talk To A Therapist

If other people's opinions are taking up more brain space than you're comfortable with or your efforts to lessen their power over you feel in vain, consider finding a therapist to talk it out with. It might be that childhood trauma is contributing to your feelings, but even if not, therapists can be great sounding boards. They make diving into the topic of why we are the way we are less overwhelming and more productive.