Comforting Self Care Ideas When You're Struggling With Infertility

B+C: Why is self-care important when coping with infertility?

Dr. Ryniec: Infertility can be extremely stressful, isolating, even without adding the physical and mental demand of evaluation and treatment; it touches all aspects of your life. The uncertainty about the outcome can make this even more frustrating and difficult to handle.

An infertility diagnosis can cause psychological symptoms similar to those caused by other serious medical conditions such as cancer (Domar 1993), and self-care is essential to help getting you through it. While stress or anxiety is unlikely to be a cause of your infertility, we do know that managing stress during fertility treatment may lead to better outcomes.

B+C: What does self-care look like when dealing with a medical issue?

Dr. Ryniec: Self-care can look different for different people because everyone responds to stress in different ways. My number one recommendation is to give yourself grace and be kind to yourself. Also, try to find time to do the things that you enjoy. Whether that be going for a walk, doing yoga, spending time with friends, reading or even binging an entire show online in one sitting. Try to take time every day to do at least one small thing that makes you happy.

B+C: How does self-care help with the anxiety someone might be feeling about infertility?

Dr Ryniec: Practicing self-care can include techniques that help reduce anxiety, and it can give someone safe “infertility free” time so that they are not constantly in a state of focus on only infertility, which often leads to worsening mental health and anxiety.

B+C: Certain conditions that cause infertility, like endometriosis, can be very painful. Are there particular stretches or activities that can help with pain?

Dr. Ryniec: Endometriosis pain can be difficult to manage and just like self-care, different things may work for different people. Heat tends to be a reliable treatment option whether through heating pads or warm baths. TENS machines also can provide a lot of relief for some people. There can also be good effects from physical therapy and acupuncture. Always make sure, though, that if you’re in treatment cycles, you clear anything by your doctor.

B+C: What are some physical self-care activities you recommend?

Dr. Ryniec: We know that some form of moving your body can be beneficial, and yoga, acupuncture, exercise, and progressive relaxation have all been shown to improve physical and mental well-being through infertility treatment. I recommend finding an activity that you enjoy and doesn’t feel like a chore because that increases the benefits.

B+C: What are some mental self-care activities you recommend?

Dr. Ryniec: Finding and committing to “fertility free” activities to allow yourself a break can be really important to mental health through this process. Meditation and mindfulness can help with negative self-talk, which is often a huge source of mental anguish.

I also think it is really beneficial to outsource the things you don’t need to do yourself if you have the ability to have friends or family cook food when they can, hire a house cleaner, avoid taking on extra projects at work, and so on. Taking some of these things off your own plate can help decrease your mental burden.

B+C: What are some emotional self-care activities you recommend?

Dr. Ryniec: I think it is so important to try to rally your support and ask for help if you need it. While I believe it is important to recognize and acknowledge your feelings, it is also important to find a way to do this and then let them go, whether this be through talking to friends, your partner, community support groups, a therapist, through journaling or some other mindfulness practice.