I'm A Black Mom — When Will My Son And I Have The Same Respect As Embryos?

Maternal Mortality Crisis

When I gave birth, I had to have a scheduled induction due to GBS — a bacteria that can cause infections in newborns — being found in my system, and it initially terrified me. I gave birth in 2021 and pandemic policies were so strict that I was terrified my S.O. and I wouldn't be able to advocate for my wellbeing. The only thing that made me feel confident I'd be okay is the fact my OBGYN was a Black woman who made sure things were running smoothly during labor. However, this isn't everyone's experience. Dr. Kameelah Phillips told Today, "Black physicians make up about 5-6% of all physicians. Black female physicians make up 2% of all physicians."

Sadly, some mothers' concerns often aren't prioritized and can ultimately lead to their death if their doctors don't listen to them. The CDCreported an increase of the mortality rate from 23.8 deaths to 32.9 "per 100,000 live births" in 2021, highlighting how this seemingly isn't getting any better.

On top of that, the WHO shared the following symptoms that can affect 75% of maternal mortality cases:

• Severe bleeding (mostly bleeding after childbirth)
• Infections (usually after childbirth)
• High blood pressure during pregnancy (pre-eclampsia and eclampsia)
• Complications from delivery
• Unsafe abortion

Aside from physical symptoms, it's important to factor in the mental health of mothers. A report by American Hospital Association noted that 1 in 8 women struggle with depression while half never receive treatment for it. I admittedly struggled with postpartum depression and suicidal ideation for well up to a year after giving birth, thinking my son would be better off without me as his mom. While I was fortunate to have the support of my family and access to a therapist to help me work through my depression, the realization that so many mothers suffer in silence is a lot to stomach. Sure, there's a six-week check-up occurs after giving birth, but I wish there was more affordable care that helps parents navigate this new chapter in their life.

The U.S. Government Accountability Office only just put out a report this year that we're at an all-time crisis level for maternal mortality. And while I love that someone somewhere is looking into this on a more official basis...it's just a report at the end of the day. There's no action, no plan — just a call for the Department of Health and Human Services to make a change. How many red flags are raised before tangible action comes into play?

Healthcare Disparities

This leads me to the healthcare disparities that can also affect children after they're born. Seeing firsthand how easy it is for some some providers to treat patients like they're nothing more than another number is wild to witness as a mom. Now that I'm in a place where I can address this based on experience after experience, I have to say that my child's healthcare providers have dropped the ball too many times to count within the past year.

When he was an infant, his dad and I had to make many trips to Cranial Technologies because he had a combination of Plagiocephaly and Brachycephaly, meaning some parts of his head were flatter and wider than others. It was difficult to process all of this, but our team was kind, considerate, and as helpful they could be.

While that was a more fortunate experience I'll always cherish, that standard of care wasn't (and isn't) always the case. The provider for my son's eczema treatment has been anything but gracious. In fact, her nonchalant attitude left such a bad taste in our mouths that we've opted to seek care that's outside of the network his former pediatric's office works with.

Sadly, I'm not the only parent who's experiencing roadblocks when advocating for my child. In a study by The Lancet Child & Adolescent Health, researchers have found that minority children didn't receive the same level of care as "non-Hispanic White children" regardless of the intended pediatric care. Although we don't like to say the quiet part out loud, this can be due to internal biases from healthcare providers.

NPR is careful to note the The Lancet Child & Adolescent Health review also touches on the fact that minority children's treatment for pain is either nonexistent or barely covers the surface. You'd think people would understand that one's skin color doesn't determine how much pain they're able to withstand, but apparently this is a bias that runs deep thanks to a another finding by JAMA Network. A portion of their review states, "Physician implicit bias has been associated with false beliefs that Black patients have greater pain tolerance, thicker skin, and feel less pain than White patients."

Until we start addressing the fact that biases can affect the level of healthcare that even children receive, I truly fail to understand how the government can rush to instill restrictive laws for embryos before protecting the lives that already exist.

Childcare Costs

So your child is born, they're healthy (for now), and it's time to get into "regular life" and look into childcare. I know it's easy for people to say, "Don't have kids if you can't afford them," but that doesn't account for the many varying factors in someone's life like socioeconomic status, unforseen circumstances, and whether or not you live in a state that allows for any choice. Plus, let's be real — childcare is expensive for everyone.

A report by Bank of America revealed that childcare has "risen over 30%" during the past five years with higher income families grappling with the effects of this more. The daycare I'm literally getting ready to unenroll my son from is increasing it's price to a little under $250 per week — and frankly the cost is still abysmal. While I'm in a position to work remotely, the rising costs of childcare is causing some parents to even leave their full-time jobs behind. Another study conducted by ReadyNation showed that the U.S. economy decreases by $122 billion every year this professional exodus happens.

Betsey Stevenson, an economics and public policy professor at the University of Michigan toldCBS, "With child care costs set to rise substantially with government funding disappearing, a lot of people are having to look and say 'Can we afford this higher cost of child care?'"

If families and children were truly valued, childcare providers would have access to better funding, and families would have more access to adequate care for their children. With inflation showing zero signs of going away, it's unrealistic to assume that it's feasible for parents to choose between working and being with their children full-time. That's a privilege many people simply don't have.

However, the Biden-Harris Administration is seeking to help reduce costs for families. They recently added a rule to the Executive Order on Increasing Access to High-Quality Care and Supporting Caregivers act which seeks to expand childcare choices for families, increase the payments providers receiver, and make it easier for families to receive assistance to pay for childcare. But is that enough? What happens when someone else steps into office? How do we further protect these parents from the whims of the economy?

Foster Care Inequality

Aren't able to keep a biological child, but don't have the option for abortion? Let's look at the foster care system! The National Council For Adoption shared a survey in 2021 that showed, "...for every child adopted from foster care, two children remained in care who were awaiting adoption." While it may seem like adoption is a quick and easy option for people, this doesn't necessarily guarantee every child will immediately be placed in a loving home.

There's a chance that some children remain in foster care until they're 18 or 21. Another study by PubMed shows that "more than 20,000 youth age out of foster care and lose their safety nets overnight." It makes me wonder if their lives don't matter because they're legally considered to be old enough to fend for themselves.

So what's being do to break down these barriers for the children born into the foster care and adoption systems? If women can't get abortions because the child's life matters most, what are we doing to make sure they're able to live safely and comfortably post-birth? Where is that legislation? I don't have all of the answers when it comes down to how families and born children are regarded in this country, but I do know that it's disheartening to realize restrictive laws aren't necessarily solving what motherhood — and the subsequent life of a child — actually entails.

Thankfully, there are some laws that are being put in place to ensure kids in foster care can be taken care of. AP News reports that it may be easier for caregivers to receive the support they need to take care of family members that may have placed up for adoption. Not only that, but a new legislation could make sure LGBTQ+ youth are protected from harsh treatment.

But if every child that results from a thwarted abortion joins the foster care system, what happens? According to the CDC, there were more than 600k reported abortions in 2021 alone. Even with all those potential protections, could the system handle over half a million more children? Not only that, but could they handle them with care?

I genuinely wish we were governed by people who didn't try to criminalize a person's right to choose to bring life into this world or remain childless. The "pro-life" and "pro-choice" camps have been against each other for so long, and now it's spilling over into confusing — not to mention harmful — laws that will have long term ramifications for future generations. It's not enough to stand in front of podium and say all families and children matter when statistics show that's not the case.

People who have lost loved ones due to the maternal mortality crisis and healthcare disparities know there's always been an invisible line. Now, future generations are looking at us to see if we're going to continue pretending like all lives in this country are valued or just the unborn ones — embryos included — because it sounds 'nice' to say. Only time will tell.