3 Stylish Hats Your Human Needs to Make for You Right MEOW
Hey there, it’s Boots “With the Fur” resident Cat Fashion Editor at Pet + Co. Of all the things you’ve by now trained your human to do, (i.e. serving you only the finest premium cat food, using only room temperature distilled water, keeping a fresh supply of catnip in the house at all times, etc.), these DIY cat hats are THE next thing you must add to the list. Have your human put those thumbs of theirs to good use constructing these fashion forward toppers for only Y-O-U.
This is just one pic of me looking FABULOUS. Don’t be jealous — this can be you, too, if you successfully get your simple puppet of a human to follow the below instructions.
Materials:
— craft foam sheets in orange, purple, blue and black
— sticky-back foam sheet in brown
— scissors
— X-ACTO knife
— thread
— needle
— Sharpie
You know what to do — meow nonstop until your human pays attention, run over to the hat making supplies and sit on top of them to signal that they should get started PRONTO.
This first hat design is inspired by all those faux fish-skin coats and bags we’re seeing on the cat runways this season. Have your human construct this stylish AND socially conscious topper to take you from afternoon sun nap to night on the prowl.
The Total Catch
Now this may be difficult for your sweet, simple human to do, but they have the thumbs, so they’ll have to do it for you. Instruct them to thread a needle with a long piece of thread. RESIST the urge to attack the string so that they can match up the two ends of thread and tie a knot at the end.
Next, have your human fold a piece of orange craft foam into a cone to fit your head, and secure it with a cross stitch using the needle and thread.
He or she will have to trim the bottom of the cone to fit your perfect, beautiful head.
Now that they have successfully constructed the body of your soon-to-be goldfish hat, they will need to cut a tail and fins from another piece of orange craft foam. Have them cut two triangular notches into the bottom of each fin, as shown above.
Have your human position the back fin onto the middle of the cone, lay the fin to the side and make a small incision JUST the length of the skinniest part of the pointed tab, or in this case, about an inch. Next, they will need to insert the tab through the cut they just made to secure the fin in place.
Give your human a purr and an ankle brush of encouragement — they are SO close! Have them repeat the same process as the last step for the two side fins, making sure that the fins sit right against the side of the cone.
Instruct your human to insert the fish tail into the top opening of the cone and to sew them together with a few stitches of thread. Give yourself a lick on the back for successfully NOT attacking the thread they had set aside from before.
These last few design details will take your hat from Halloween costume to avant-garde statement piece, so they are very important. Demand that your human fold back the two side fins and draw in these scale details with a permanent black marker.
If your human is not a total disgrace, they will have presented you with something like this!
FIERCE. Indulge your human by posing for a photoshoot. Make sure you pretend to hate it so they don’t make a career out of it or anything, but know secretly that you are one FINE FELINE in this goldfish statement hat.
I let my good friend, Eli, try on my hat for size. Don’t be fooled by his look of boredom — he was LOVING it, meowing “YASS KWEEN” all damn day.
This next hat is good for keeping your ears dry during an adventurous dip AND as a statement piece to establish yourself as a fashion-fearless trend-setter cat. This design requires a little bit more sewing on your human’s part, but the result is SO worth the labor you’re forcing them to do.
THE SWIMMER
Have your human make three two-inch cuts into the bottom edge of a piece of purple foam.
Next, instruct your human to fold the four tabs they just cut in onto each other to form a bonnet shape and then secure with a few stitches with the thread and needle.
They will then need to trim the corners of the bonnet so that they are completely rounded off.
Have your human draw out a whole sheet’s worth of five-petal flowers in permanent marker, and then carefully cut them out with scissors. Meow loudly at your human to tell them to STAY ALERT and don’t screw this up.
One by one, your human needs to stitch the flowers onto the hat with a small cross stitch in the middle of each flower. Have them keep sewing on flowers until the whole swim cap is covered.
Tell your human to fold up each flower to fluff them up a bit and give your cap some dimension and life.
Voila! If your obedient human has paid attention to your careful instruction, your swim cap should look like this. Perfection!
Remember what I said about pretending to hate it? This step is very important. If you enjoy it too much, you may find yourself on a ridiculous inspirational poster. Pretend to bat it away once or twice to signal that you are NOT interested (even though you are TOTALLY killing it in this hat).
Eli’s not a swimmer, but he can also attest to the fact that this cap is the PURR-FECT statement accessory.
The floppy fedora is THE hat you need in your rotation for festival season, starting your street fashion blog and looking cute at brunch when you have a catnip hangover. If all else fails, get your human to make this hat ASAP.
The Coachella Cat
Tell your human to fold a piece of black foam in a soft accordion fold on just one side, and then pinch that side together to form the top of the hat. Have them secure the top and bottom edges with black thread.
Your human will need to trim off about half an inch on the pinched and sewn side and trim the other edges into a rounded hat shape.
Just as they did with the goldfish hat, have them cut three pointed tabs into the front and sides of this rounded bottom edge.
Using another sheet of black foam, have them cut out a large oval shape for the brim of your floppy hat.
Instruct your human to position the top hat shape onto the brim and make three cuts into the brim where the tabs will later fit into.
Once he or she has marked where your tabs will go, cut out a circle about a 1/4 inch inside of the three cuts you made in the previous step.
Have them fit the three tabs into the slots in your brim, and the basic shape is done!
For this last detail – your hat band – have your human cut a thin strip of sticky-back brown foam.
Your human will need to peel away the paper backing on the sticky back foam strip, position it onto your hat and stick it down all the way around. Because the curve of the hat is not a perfect cylinder, they may need to trim down the ends so that they lay flat against the hat.
Congratulate your human on their achievements and reward them with a 10-second cuddle. Any more than that and they will think you’re friends (AS IF), so remind them that your relationship is purely business and that you will need to see more hats for more cuddles.
By now you are likely very pleased, so you may allow your other human to join in on the final photoshoot. These two are clearly obsessed with me, (check out those shirts they made for my last birthday) so this will make their week!
WAIT A SECOND — those hats are NOT for humans. What do you think you’re doing? This is cat fashion ONLY!!
Daaamn Eli, check out that sultry stare. You are too stylish, my friend.
