This Inspiring App Will Teach You How to Master Self-Compassion
For many of us, 2016 was a doozy, but we here at Brit + Co are ready to hit refresh in 2017! Follow our Hit Refresh series through January for new ideas, hacks and skills that will help you achieve (and maintain!) those New Year’s resolutions.
It takes a ton of effort to stick to a resolution, even when you take tiny steps to start a habit. Incredibly, 80 percent of New Year’s resolutions, like getting healthy or learning how to save money like a pro, fail by mid-February. Good news, though: It turns out a magical combination exists to help you achieve success and keep pushing forward. According to Shine, an app that makes daily well-being easier through messaging, self-compassion and consistency are key. We talked with founders Marah Lidey and Naomi Hirabayashi to get the scoop on how to master each for maximum success.
WHEN IT COMES TO SETTING GOALS OR RESOLUTIONs, how is self-compassion a game-changer?
Marah and Naomi say that when it comes to the power of self-compassion, it’s actually pretty simple. We should be prepared to make mistakes or suffer slip-ups, because we all will. It’s totally normal and human! They wisely say, “Big, shiny goals are awesome at the beginning of the year, but they become less empowering when we can’t sustain them.”
They went on to explain that Dr. Kristin Neff, a psychologist and researcher, defines self-compassion in three abilities: self-kindness, common humanity and mindfulness. Marah and Naomi used this knowledge to build the brand-new Shine experience, which is specially designed to elevate self-compassion.
1. Self-Kindness: Marah says, “Shine helps you practice more self-kindness by celebrating your consistent actions (vs. just big, lofty hitting goals) around your daily intention with a new ‘check in’ feature.” So awesome.
2. Common Humanity: Recognizing we’re not alone in our daily struggles helps us practice more self-compassion, Naomi says. We love Shine’s new feature “Shine Corner,” which is a feed full of anonymous, encouraging and supportive posts from people who are working on the same intention as you. Hooray for community!
3. Mindfulness: Shine makes it easier to practice mindfulness by sending you a daily intention every morning via text. Just like an affirmation or mantra can help you with a luck-making mindset, each text gives you a single action for the day that’ll help you live with intent.
Which resolutions can we crush with self-compassion?
The Shine team tells us that the most common resolutions tend to be “things that are health-focused (sticking with a new eating plan or losing weight), nailing a big achievement (writing a New York Times bestseller) or breaking a habit that might make you feel guilty (drinking too much or Netflix binging).” The founders say the problem with these resolutions is that they feel binary by nature. Basically, if you don’t see major progress right away, you likely feel like you want to give up (isn’t that the truth).
To switch up your thinking, the wise women of Shine tell us to take a more realistic and overall healthier approach to making resolutions. For example, “Instead of focusing on the number on the scale or some external accolade, try to stick with something you can do often.” The team also stresses remembering to treat yourself with kindness when you’re having an off day.
Here are a few other ideas for how you can flip the script when it comes to specific goals, and how you think about achieving them:
1. Writing: Write for 10 minutes every day.
2. Confidence: Do a daily reflection on what you’re most proud of.
3. Relationships: Spend five minutes every day thinking of something you can do for someone in your life.
What are your resolutions this year?
We were stoked to get a chance to chat with Marah and Naomi about how they’re personally looking to evolve in 2017 and how they plan to accomplish their goals with self-compassion and consistency. Marah tells us, “I love a good murder mystery book, but I found that last year my reading list severely lacked diversity. This year, I’m focused on my personal growth by reading, attending and experiencing more works created by people of color.”
Naomi chimed in with her goals, which were centered on being totally present in the moments that matter. She says, “I want to be more present, from a brunch catch-up with friends, my favorite catch-up convos with my husband when we get home, to creative brainstorms for Shine. It’s definitely tough to not constantly be thinking through my master to-do list in almost every moment, but I’ll be more high-impact on the work that matters if I’m focusing on what I can control: the current moment.” Amen.
Will you use Shine to crush your resolutions and accomplish your goals? Tweet us @BritandCo and tell us how you like it!
(Photos via Shine; Getty)