Keep Halloween Weird With These 50, Um, “Sexy” Costumes
Welcome to the weirdness, folks. By that we mean, sexy weird. Two things that are so deliciously wrong together that they only feel right for Halloween. But beware, the freaky is strong in our gathering of the weirdest sexy costumes you can buy on the interwebs.
1. Sexy French Fries ($48): Every day, it’s a struggle to resist French fries. On Halloween, give in to the temptation.
2. Care Bears Grumpy Bear ($35): You better believe a whole lotta Care Bear staring will be going on when you wear this.
3. Cozy Unicorn ($49): Rainbow hair? Rainbow socks? Rainbow everything?! Tell us the truth: This is Lisa Frank’s new line of lingerie, isn’t it?
4. Lady Liberty ($45): Here she is, just waiting to deal with your wretched refuse. In this case, we’ll assume that wretched refuse consists of a lot of annoying cat calls.
5. My Little Pony Pinky Pie ($59): This costume is a reincarnation of that beloved toy pony you lost years ago. Confused? Yeah, so are we.
6. Rock Lobster ($55): To make this costume even weirder, we think we’ll go for a cannibal-esque crab dinner while wearing this on Halloween. And yes, we will be wearing those pinchers through the whole meal.
7. Sexy Hamburger ($40): Fact: One in three singles would choose food over sex. With this costume, we don’t need to choose one over the other.
8. Sexy Mummy ($40): The only crime this costume commits is making dirty linens look intriguing. Girlfriend can rock that wrap.
9. Poison Apple ($80): Snow is all grown up. Yet, she’s still chancing it with that apple.
10. Kansas Cutie ($80): We are definitely not in Kansas any more. Not with those thigh-highs. Though we definitely still have a thing for the red shoes.
11. Sexy Wolf ($109): This gives “big bad wolf” a whole new meaning.
12. Sexy Watermelon ($62): You’ll never look at your favorite summertime snack the same way again.
13. Sexy Rocket Babe ($68): We have no doubt that you will indeed create a lot of BUZZ when you show up in the party to this.
14. Sexy Taco ($90): Halloween falls on a Friday this year, but that shouldn’t stop you from dressing like a delicious Tuesday dinner.
15. Sock Monkey ($84): This costume makes the famous rag doll look the complete opposite of haggard.
16. Sexy Skunk ($109): The smelliest roadkill on all the highways and byways just got an upgrade. With the right perfume choice, the power is yours to break all stereotypes.
17. The Riddler ($50): Hmm… we don’t quite remember Jim Carrey’s spandex being quite this… well, nonexistent. No one will be paying attention to Ben Affleck when you’re donning this dress in close proximity.
18. Sexy Cartoon Dog ($79): One of the most lovably, dopey Disney dogs does a total 180.
19. Sexy Pizza ($70): Forget the food, this costume is the new late-night staple. Plus, that crust acts as a nice head rest after a long night of looking delicious.
20. Transformers Bumble Bee ($85): Welp, we guess no one will be messing with our galaxy anytime soon.
21. Octopus ($80): For all the sea lovers out there, this octopus costume may put every other ocean-oriented outfit out of commission. Don’t mind that your feet each have three extra tentacles. Science isn’t necessary with leg warmers that bright.
22. Naughty Nem-Oh! ($30): This is what happens when you’re taken away from your parents at such a young age.
23. Sexy Mouse ($59): This costume officially makes naughty Micky our new favorite mouse.
24. Sexy Green Plumber ($50): Plumber’s crack much? (We’re talking about cleavage here.)
25. Cozy Shark ($49): Make every week Sexy Shark Week.
26. Double Gum ($68): Double the pleasure, double the fun with this neon costume. Seriously, if you and a friend both go like this, it’s almost a guarantee you will double the Halloween fun.
27. Dumb & Dumber ($41): With Dumb and Dumber To set to release in mid-November, this costume makes complete sense… well, sort of.
28. Sexy Tweedle Dee/Dum ($45): Continuing with the dumb theme, giving those scary Alice and Wonderland twins some sex appeal was an obvious move.
29. Sexy Beetlejuice ($39): He burps, he scratches his unmentionables and he is just generally crass — Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlej… ahhh, gotcha.
30. Hamburger Thief ($50): We’re guessing you’ll be stealing more attention than hamburgers with this outfit. And really, what ISN’T attractive about someone who is willing to nab some burgers for you when the cravings call?
31. Evil Master’s Helper ($60): Those little minions are back in an unexpected way.
32. Naughty Nun ($25): Don’t worry, we won’t tell Reverend Mother.
33. Sexy Chucky ($35): Quick! When we say murderous doll, what’s the first thing that comes to your mind? Sexpot? We knew it.
34. Sexy Corn ($60): We never thought a yellow BBQ food could look quite this delicious off the grill. Meet a stick of butter on October 31st and consider it a match made in heaven.
35. Cute Carrot ($50): They do say that carrots are good for your eyes… so go ahead. Feast them.
36. Delicious Bubblegum Hottie ($53): Nobody messes with a costume where latex-looking fabric is involved.
37. Striped Clown ($100): Your worst nightmares have officially come true.
38. Baby ($60): Yes, someone went there. Be disturbed. Be very disturbed.
39. Sexy Miss Piggy ($41): We suppose Miss Piggy does have a certain amount of allure… at least that’s what Kermit tells us.
40. Miss Martian ($60): This costume is out-of-this-world attention-grabbing. If all aliens looked like this, we’re guessing some of you wouldn’t mind getting probed. We mean, have you seen Barbarella?
41. Jolly Rancher ($29): Suck on this — one of the best candies in one of the best flavors.
42. Frozen Treat Cutie ($49): Forget baking a sweet treat for your Halloween party. If Katy Perry and George Costanza have taught us anything, it’s that food oozes sex.
43. Sexy (Glow-in-the-Dark) Skeleton ($40): The lights may go out, but, no bones about it, all eyes will still be on you with this glow-in-the-dark number.
44. Sexy Clowning Around Clown ($40): We’ve only got three words for you: American Horror Story.
45. Yoshee ($55): Who would have guessed it? Give that trusty little sidekick and dependable ride a pair of golden shoes, and this is what happens.
46. Black Bear ($89): We’re maul over this. This claws are definitely giving us vibes more along the lines of “high five!” than an “I’ll claw you!”
47. Amazing Spider Girl ($60): Move over Spider Man. It’s Spider Girl, and she’s here to spin a web of intrigue.
48. Sexy Scrabble ($15): We kind of get this one: There’s nothing hotter than a girl with a big vocabulary. Bonus: If the party you go to is a total bore, you now have some backup entertainment — your costume!
49. Viking ($35): Ladies have been sexy for centuries. Proven here.
50. Sexy Deer ($59): If our findings today have taught us anything, it’s that, on October 31st, a spell is cast over all the land making EVERYTHING sexy. Case in point: Sexy deer.
What’s the weirdest sexy costume you’ve ever seen? Let us know in the comments below!
